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tobeornottotc · 2 years

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KinnPorsche Ep 1-10-Cigarettes: Vices and Playing With Fire

One of the most intriguing things in episode 10 was the return of cigarettes. In the show KinnPorsche, Porsche has a certain addiction to cigarettes it almost always gets him in trouble from nearly burning down the kitchen, beating Macau up, to giving Vegas an opportunity to speak to him and even in moments of trauma e.g episode 5. Porsche’s cigarette breaks have never been good however in episode 8 it seemed like he himself was done with the certain object motioning to Pete happily about how he’s ready to quit and start anew now he’s found something else to replace his need for smoking. We all cheered or well I did at this because surely it represented the start of Porsche staying away from trouble but also it showed how much Kinn made Porsche feel hopeful and excited about life again. Except…It all threw us off, this metaphor, when Kinn later on in episode 10 returned the cigarette to Porche. Sacre Bleu cigarettes are a bad omen no? Why is Kinn giving Porsche a cigarette instead of quenching it out or taking it away from him. I’m not sure I like where this is going. This was so confusing it made us try to come up with good motifs for cigarettes and more. But I’m going to break it down a bit more. It is a massive red flag, a massive red neon sign warning us that these two may have found each other and are each other’s catalysts for good and freedom however they’re also meant to be each other’s entrapment. Let me explain.

Let’s go back to how cigarettes have been presented in this show. For Porsche, if Green is always a bad sign of danger, cigarettes are just that too. In fact it’s interesting how much KinnPorsche puts a focus on cigarettes. In the first BOC promos for this show we see KP in the rain, dancing around in the dark, Porsche looking at mirrors darkly and then smoking cigarettes, then Kinn later embracing him and also giving him a cigarette from his mouth to his. Just, first of all, I think if you all haven’t seen those BOC promos you should go se them because they foreshadowed a lot of the meta the show takes steps to consistently show with symbols of fire, trust, mirrors and even colors etc… It’s a minefield of so much goodness. But yes cigarettes are a thing, Porsche uses it to calm down each time the world seems like it’s slipping away from him, it’s one of his vices, something that relaxes him and gives him time to breath and think. However unlike meditation which is what he tried to replace it with in episode 9, smoking causes chaos around Porsche.

Smoking is not a good thing in KinnPorsche. It represents danger. Porsche consistently puts himself in positions of hurt and chaos each time a cigarette is at his lips, or aimed for his lips. Cigarettes bring so much errors, from being a catalyst to fire that causes Kinn to be soaked with water in episode 2, to needing another smoke break and seeing Macau for the first time and almost getting himself killed. Smoking always leads to Porsche making an impulsive error and it has a consequence.

Vegas lighting the fire to Porsche’s cigarette in episode 4 was also a warning sign, by letting Vegas into that space Porsche let someone who was going to again cause his impulsiveness and rashness to result in chaos and hurt. And it does in episode 10, it leads to Porsche almost upending all of Kinn’s plans to uncover who is putting his life in danger. Smoking represents irrationality, impulse, and harm, and yet Porsche seeks it until the presence of Kinn, the love of Kinn actually makes him want to slow down and find a different way, the opposite of impulse and chaos meditation. Yet Kinn once again lit the fire consumed cigarettes himself (too many times) and then returned that chaos and sign of peril back to Porsche. Why?

Let’s breakdown Cigarettes symbolically for you all. The two things/themes that cigarettes align to in KinnPorsche is one addiction and the second, fire. These are two themes that are secretly interlaced in the subtext of this show especially with this couple. Let me break it down even more

Vices and Addiction

Addiction as a theme in KinnPorsche isn’t fully talked about, each character have their own vices or things they run to that give them pleasure from the world they’re in. Kinn’s drinking is an extreme habit that isn’t talked about in the show, but shown visually, he either does it each time he puts on his mask as the cruel mafia heir or each time he needs to pose and show his authority, and he also does it when stressed. Porsche’s as mentioned is his impulsiveness and smoking, Porsche surrounds himself with jokes and comedy to mask his feelings at times, but he runs to cigarettes and physical touch (he’s starved of it) as his comfort. Vegas is the opposite and views pain as his, he loses himself in seeing people hurt and also in hurting himself, he’s become numb to the emotions of pain and views it as one of the only things he can embrace in a different way mentally. Pete also has cigarettes as his vices, but we don’t fully connect him to that, because we still haven’t seen the real Pete, they’ll explain soon what he actually is addicted to later. Either these addictive vices aren’t meant to be great, they all cause harm one way or another, and they focus on numbing of the chaos around the characters. They’re just temporary solutions to escape from the wreckage they face each day. Which is why I think it’s really important to note that Kinn smokes heavily once after Tawan’s exposed and the destruction he imposed, when he’s surrounded by the breakdown around him, it’s messy, loud and chaotic this world he’s in and he has to somehow deal with that pressure, all around him lies bodies, screams, and tears from everyone, people mourning his loyal bodyguard etc, there’s a lot both Vegas and Kinn have had to encounter and because of this they need something a way out to deal with this. Kinn in his tattered clothes surrounded in pain, while taking a cigarette is a powerful visual of how he’s not okay but he’s trying to numb it all out by focusing on instead the cigarette’s warmth.

There in lies an irony, these vices are meant to be freeing but they end up hurting the ones who need them. This is the thing with addiction. In KinnPorsche, the theme of KP is the struggle of freedom vs entrapment. This theme is fully explained and explored in episode 6 where you see these twos characterisation is based on it, they both have duties and responsibilities that strip them of the identity they want to be, they both have symbolisms in that forest scene suggesting how trapped they are, with the idea of the handcuffs, the forest it’s self and finally also each other. These two feel free together because the latter make them escape their roles and obligations for a while, Porsche can be pampered and cared for by someone else, and Kinn can remove his masks and smile and be childish in that space. It’s so freeing in the handcuffs that Kinn wants to stay trapped in the forest than return back to the outside. Because the biggest symbol for entrapment that persists through out this whole show is the mafia family itself. This is what makes me talk about this the most. It is the pressure and need for everyone apart from Porsche to survive and become efficient for this family despite it not being what they want. For Porsche in episode 6 he’s given a way out or so he and Kinn thinks, yet he finds himself in the same exact loop, the same exact starting point with Kinn as the reason for why he returns and situates himself in the degradation of his morality and more. For Porsche the mafia world was meant to be seen as a trap from episode 1, he fought to escape it, the duties, the lack of identity and power imposed on him as a bodyguard and the loss of proximity to his brother. He fought to return back and yet in the time it could happen it’s a sad realisation that once he entered into this world there was no going back.

This is where addiction is harmful. There’s a loop, despite the harmfulness and fear of it’s consequences like the cigarettes causes, Porsche ended up ironically being ensnared by something else to fully embrace his role as the queen on the chessboard. Remember the chessboard also signifies the trapping of these characters, the lack of will because all pieces on the chessboard are controlled by the player not the other way round, they’re all pawns despite the fact they have different roles and positions. Porsche was chosen by Korn from the start with the plans to add him to this game with a set position and because of that he was never going to have a chance to leave. That’s what’s dark about this type of addiction. Because what ended up caging Porsche into this is not Korn himself but Kinn. See why Kinn giving Porsche the cigarette is a warning now? Porsche’s feelings for Kinn in a world where love is meant to be weakness is both freeing and destructive. Like the cigarette its self. Kinn’s presence in Porsche’s life, erodes his morality, his identity (or what he thinks is his identity) and his will. This doesn’t mean Kinn means to be that symbol in Porsche’s life, that bringer of chaos and destruction, but he just does because his position requires it, as the King of the chessboard he can’t help but lead people to have to sacrifice something for him. It’s something he also knows about and can’t escape from. Love is meant to be this great thing for KP, it makes them escape and see each other, and feel liberated, but it also unfortunately is a trap, it’s luring Porsche into the wreckage of the mafia world more closer and closer, and because he took that step back in episode 7-14 have been if you have noticed more darker, and serious because Porsche is slowly realising what he’s been put into. As much as Kinn is a lovely gift, the mafia world is still a cage and every character on this show are imprisoned by it.

For Porsche Kinn returning back the cigarettes, the very thing he’s trying to quit, the very thing he’s trying to stop because it hurts and leads to damages and horrifying consequences, he ends up being lured back in to do so by Kinn giving it back to him. This isn’t a positive sign it’s foreshadowing of what’s to come. Kinn is Porsche’s biggest vice, and as episode 10-14 unveils the choices of being free with Kinn and himself, vs losing his family, and himself as well is going to be Porsche’s biggest obstacles, from his brother being hurt by the mafia world already, to his uncle and other secrets that are going to be revealed showing up, Porsche will have no choice but to choose to be a puppet to Kinn’s world, to be with him, or to escape and leave Kinn alone on that throne. Porsche’s role as the queen is the most important in the chess board, the queen is the most powerful, the strongest and most loyal, and yet the queen also has no voice, the chess game is about the King’s win or defeat, even in both the queen has no choice in the matter but to serve him and fulfil her purpose, either captured by his defeat or a weapon at his side. Porsche’s arc to become the queen of the chessboard also then parallels his arc to become the phoenix and this brings us to the next symbol in KP that represents danger and destruction fire the very thing that lights up a cigarette.

Fire and Phoenix

Once Porsche mentioned in episode 4 about his tattoo, and his mum giving him the role and responsibility to be like a phoenix and rise from the ashes we all knew Porsche was connected to fire. When Kinn mentioned in episode 6 how he and fire get each other, we also squealed and knew this was intentional, Kinn was the fire to Porsche’s phoenix. This was great because they connect and it meant how Kinn would be the catalyst to Porsche’s transformation, rebirth and growth (things connected to the phoenix rise). But I also mentioned it’s a warning, because the process to get a phoenix to rise from the ashes, is to first make them the ashes. As in fire takes the life of the phoenix and isn’t a wonderful thing. This again the irony of KP, the thing that brings strength, and transformation and growth, is the very thing that also takes it away in a hurtful process. Fire is a catalyst but it is also harmful. See how this is similar to the cigarettes.

When Vegas first interacts properly with Porsche he lights up his cigarette, I noticed this and knew it meant fire was bad not good, when Kinn mentioned about fire in episode 6 I sighed while others rejoiced, because the meaning of fire is still bad despite the fact that yes Kinn is also a source of fire, and he does bring fire into Porsche’s life. Just like he returned the cigarette to Porsche in episode 10. Vegas brings fire that’s destructive, he brings wounds, pain, and trauma along with his fire, he represents turmoil and disarray with the fire he brings, and Porsche accepts it until it’s shown to him how much that fire (an explosion by Tawan) destroys everything it touches mercilessly and cruelly. Vegas’s actions took away Big, it broke Porchay and it almost obliterated KP relationship and their life. Again upon seeing Vegas as a symbol for fire, we know again that fire is bad. But Kinn is also connected to fire… That’s the dark and scary thing.

I always motion though the show hasn’t given me my evidence that if Porsche is the phoenix, Kinn is the dragon, he’s had to be cruel to protect those precious to him and he's constantly hunted and entrapped with all his power and wealth but he’s lonely and scared. But I also said this because a dragon breaths you guessed it, fire. Kinn isn’t fire its self but he’s acquainted to it, he’s intertwined with it, this is what he means when he explains Fire and him get each other in episode 6. Kinn was made in the flames, he is surrounded by the flames constantly and he also has to bring out the flames to protect his life and his loved ones. Kinn isn’t fire but he’s the source of fire. Just like he was the one who isn’t the chaos in Porsche’s life but he’s the one who brought him into it. Again Porsche’s feelings for Kinn are the reason for why he settles into this trap of Korn, it’s Kinn he's thinking of, protecting and needing even when his brother brings up an ultimatum, Porsche focuses on the fact that being on Kinn feels good (something he’s never had before) and he wants to keep that even if it means destroying everything else. What does fire to do to a Phoenix before it leads to rebirth? Erosion. It burns the phoenix away, the old phoenix.

Porsche’s phoenix , metaphor is connected to his mother’s promise for him to stay alive (i.e avoid fire) until his brother is safe and protected. Porsche’s mum’s words became one of the weights of his life, it took away from him his own freedom (not Porchay), Porsche lost his identity and only focused on that and as a kid he was traumatised with a heavy burden and never got to deal with it until he met Kinn, he never got to find someone who provided solace for that child within him until Kinn showed up and cared for him. Here lies the issue, in order for Porsche to be his happiest he’d have to let his mother’s words go and let his brother know him, and see him. This is erosion.

Kinn bringing Porsche into the mafia world not burned away his sense of identity (his mother’s promise) but it burned down his relation to immorality (as he mentioned in episode 3 this was the last thing he wanted to do because it was people like Kinn who used to make him fear for his life constantly as a child because of debt). These conversations aren’t forgotten, Porsche’s acceptance of immorality and letting himself be comfortable with the violence and chaos in the mafia world isn’t forgotten it’s just seeming that way because he himself isn’t recognising the erosion of his old identity. Now you can view this in a good way, for a phoenix erosion isn’t bad it’s good it leads to rebirth, it leads to change and transformation and resignation of purpose.

This is good for Porsche because this world and Kinn unveils what he’s good at and lets him be selfish for once. However people keep forgetting that in order for a phoenix to get there they have to burned and this isn’t painless, it’s the worst type of pain to endure. Kinn being the source of fire to Porsche’s phoenix isn’t meant to be a romantic comedic thing it’s also meant to be dark and conflicting and complex. It’s meant to hurt and traumatise him before he rises from it. Being with Kinn isn’t just good, it’s also painful and this is what Porsche accepting the cigarette from Kinn is. The ost for this show is called Freefall in both versions of the song KP sing to each other about recognising they’re falling into chaos, it’s scary and all around them isn’t great but together they will be fine because they will be in each other’s arms, this doesn’t mean they’ll be safe, or not hurt, or comfortable, it means they’re literally choosing to fall despite it being bad and leading to consequences. By choosing each other they choose danger and pain but they also choose freedom. It’s painfully ironic.

So yes the sudden influx of Kinn smoking isn’t a good sign, it means he’s being stressed with the burden and weight required of him, it’s making him realise how much he can’t escape bringing damage to others by his position, it’s difficult for him to process it so he numbs himself to it, and pushes it back and he ends up also avoiding everything else to be in Porsche’s arms at the end. That moment of solace for them in episode 10 is painful because they refuse to communicate about what’s happening (a warning sign) about trust issues, they choose to forget it and just hold each other, but it leads to dire consequences, Pete being left in the flames, and Porsche being left to deal with the consequences of the destruction around him. Being free with each other leads to consequences, that can’t be just forgotten or pushed away so it’s a warning sign that nothing is good at the moment in the show.

Kinn giving Porsche the cigarette a symbol of addiction and impulsive chaos, and a symbol of destruction and agonizing fire is meant to be freeing and good, but in the end it foreshadows that with these two it’s not roses at all, in fact they are each other’s doom and prison as much as they are each other’s independence and contentment. How ironic. The rest of the episodes will focus on Porsche coming to this truth, and struggling against himself which is more worth it, it’s going to be a very heavy choice as with this world, it’s not just black and white it’s bloody red, morally grey and full of wickedness and anguish. Sorry but you guys had to know. KP is a romantic comedy but it also is a dark mafia series, ironically it’s the same thing for KP with the light comes the dark with this drama and it means there will be more dark to come. Sigh.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #reviews #bl series #bl drama #thai bl #vegaspete #kinn x porsche #kinnporsche meta

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bitacrytic · 1 year

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Talk about the major vs minor family has me wondering what Porsche is gonna do as the head of minor family and how does Vegas react to that. Also Porsche being at odds with Kinn because of this new position: Was this set up purposely to get a crack in their relationship? Probably. Will Vegas just sit back quietly twiddling his thumbs after getting demoted? Probably not.

Anon, are you are asking for canon spoilers? If you are, I'm sorry, I don't follow the books, so I can't tell you about the main/minor dynamics, beyond what the show has given us.

HOWEVER, if you're asking for my personal take???

Let's take your points one at a time.

What is Porsche going to do as head of the minor family and how does Vegas react to that?

I feel like Porsche is going to work with Vegas... not above Vegas. It wouldn't take a genius to know that Vegas knows minor family shit more than Porsche ever will. Considering how easily Porsche followed Vegas' lead with Uncle Thee, I feel like this is a possible progression.

He will never trust Vegas fully. I can see him double-checking Vegas' work or verifying details, but I can also see him following Vegas' lead.

Vegas might take a few months off, when he leaves the hospital. I can see him and Pete and Macau going to a DIFFERENT safe house for some fish air. But by the time Porsche burns down a few bridges, Vegas has to come back to work.

He'll handle business but I don't see him being resentful about the ring or Porsche being the "leader" of the minor family. If anything, it's good that it's Porsche and not Kinn or Korn. I imagine that Vegas might need a couple of years before he's ready to be in a room with either of them without reaching for a gun.

Porsche being at odds with Kinn because of his new position. Was it set up purposely to get a crack in their ship?

To say that Porsche and Kinn won't have trust issues or fight or break up is wishful thinking. Kinn hasn't worked through his issues yet and Pordche leaving him to go with Vegas was extremely traumatic. So, him magically becoming a trusting boyfriend is bullshit. I believe they still have work to do. Add to the fact that Porsche has developed his own trust issues and we have fiasco after fiasco in the making.

However, now that they're not hidden anymore, now that Porsche has his family and Kinn's friends and family know about Porsche, and Porsche is no longer just some bodyguard, I see their quarrels being hashed out, with people like Tankhun and Chay to go between. Because, I can't help but imagine what Kinn would do, if he was pissed at Porsche and hurling insults, only for Tankhun to enter into the room. And I know Chay will not hesitate to call porsche out when he's doing the wrong thing.

So, I don't think Porsche being the minor leader will crack their ship. It will just be another thing they have to work through. With the help of friends and family. They'll do their work. They'll learn to trust each other and hopefully, they'll set healthy boundaries between boundaries between relationship and their separate duties.

I also don't think Korn wanted to crack the ship, per se. He wanted Porsche to be loyal to Kinn. He didn’t want Kinn to reciprocate, but Kinn did. And Kinn has proven that he'll be an obedient son as long as his father doesn't try to take Porsche away from him. So, I think Korn has abandoned trying to separate them. He's seen a bunch of problems and solved them all by giving Porsche that ring.

Will Vegas sit back, twiddling his thumbs while being demoted?

No, I do not think he will. The ring is Porsche's. It was given to him by the main family. That's done. Vegas won't fight that.

But, I do think Vegas will do something to establish himself as the "actual" head of the minor family. Maybe hold a few secrets ransom, maybe stay out of a deal that falls through till Vegas shows up.

I don't think Porsche will fight back on it. But if Korn tries to arm twist Vegas, I feel like Vegas will assert himself. In my head, he and Porsche work more like partners at best, than Vegas being a subordinate.

And yeah, the minor family will continue to work with the main family. As Kinn said on the show, they're already sharing profits 50/50. There's hope for working together. And with Porsche between Kinn and Vegas, communication is possible. Harmony is possible.

I also see Pete's presence as a balm of sorts. The havoc that Vegas is capable of causing would not occur, because Vegas is a family man now. And one-thirds of that family has heavy ties to Korn. So he won't go all out. But he will do something.

So... yeah. These are my thoughts on the main/minor family dynamics, post-show.

#kinnporsche #vegaspete

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peachym00 · 9 months

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Chapter 5 is here👀

let's go to hell (together) (36463 words) by peachyM00

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: KinnPorsche: The Series (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Pete Phongsakorn Saengtham/Vegas Kornwit Theerapanyakun

When he and his grandmother owe the minor family a debt, Pete finds himself pushed deeper into the mafia world than ever before. Working for Vegas sounds like Pete’s idea of Hell. But when feelings develop and lives are on the line, will the Devil finally admit he’s met his match?

Pete kept two photos in his wallet.

One was of his mother when she was pregnant with him; she was ready to pop, a hand on her bump and a smile on her face like his. It’s the only photo he has of them together.

The other photo is of him and his grandma. It was summer, and she took him to a fairground; there was a photo booth in an arcade that they both squeezed into, taking two strips of silly photos. Pete had lost his two front teeth, and they had matching Spider-Man sticker tattoos on their arms. He was eight, but he can still remember the taste of the candy floss they shared and the ache in his cheeks from smiling too much.

Sometimes he would take the photo of his mother out and study it, burn it into his memory so as not to forget the person he never got the chance to meet. Other times he would look at the photo of him and his grandma, the lines of her smile faint, and he would remember what her smile looked like now. Still the same, wide and unapologetic, lines much more noticeable because of her old age. He would look and wish with all his heart that she would stop getting older.

They had spent so much time together over the years, rarely going more than twenty-four hours without at least speaking to each other. This was why, as Pete now spent all his time at the minor compound, he felt a deep sense of shame in the fact that he didn’t miss her as much as he probably should, that he hadn’t made more of an effort to contact her as much as he could have. His main excuse was that his phone was bugged, and he didn’t want any sensitive information getting back to whichever guard was on listening duty.

Deep down, that was only part of the reason, but he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself yet.

Read on ao3 here!

Read chapter 1 here!

#thirty thousand words and they haven't even kissed yet #this is for sure a slow burn #lmao #vegaspete #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #vegas x pete #vegaspete fic #vegaspete fanfic #macau theerapanyakul #kpts #kinnporsche the series #my writing

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israsakarya · 24 days

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ABOUT ;

Name: Isra Sakarya

Age: 36

Gender & pronouns: Female & she/her

Nationality: Turkish

Sexuality: Bicurious

Time in Tonopah: From the age of 8 to 18, just recently returned

Occupation: Criminal profiler on the ATF/DEA task force

Neighbourhood: Downtown

Relationship status: Single

Bio trigger warnings: violence, infertility, death

Please read below for quick intro

Isra was born in Istanbul, Türkiye and remained there until she was eight. This was when her parents moved her to Tonopah Valley to be closer to her grandparents, and also to provide her with better opportunities

Her grandfather was a hotel mogul, with hotels in Las Vegas but wanted his daughter and co to learn what it meant to work hard for your money, and so refused to let them live with him

Turns out he was tied to Tonopah through some dodgy dealings, and Isra's parents got jobs related to said dodgy dealings. Ultimately, Isra ended up growing close with the Sons and its members whilst she grew up. BUT she soon learned of the crime that surrounded Tonopah, which she grew to absolutely loathe despite her friendships with some morally grey people

Left town as soon as she could, and attended college in California studying criminal justice because she vowed to NEVER become like the people she grew up around. She became hella focused on studying and her career, and advanced through the police academy. Even achieved a master's in forensic psychology

Isra took an intense criminal profiling training course through the FBI, and the rest was history. She became a criminal profiler, working in the field, and girlie thrived

Although it didn't take long for trouble to find her, as she rattled too many cages of a well-known criminal gang in Cali. They followed her, found her, and attacked her. The injuries and subsequent surgeries were enough to result in her to never be able to conceive, and she was forced to take a step back from work. She pushed away anyone close to her at the time, really folding in on herself to recover from the trauma. After some time, she attended all of her mandatory therapy sessions, and slowly returned to work

Things were fine for some time, until she received a call from her parents, telling her she needed to come home because her younger brother had been caught up in a bombing. NEVER did she think she'd be returning to Tonopah, but she returned home for her brother's funeral. He had been a prospect for the Sons, and had died during a bombing at a bike festival

Naturally, Isra was pretty damn enraged at the fact he hadn't been kept safe, and this was the moment she had vowed to herself to take revenge on the Sons

She found out about the task force in Tonopah and begged and pleaded her boss for the position for a very long time. He had refused profusely because of her emotional ties to the case, but eventually gave her the opportunity

Now she is back in town, ready to burn it to the ground <3

#( intro. )

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rebelwrites · 2 years

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Waking Up In Vegas || Part Ten

Jax Teller x Reader

Summary: Jax and Y/N had always been close, they were each other’s partners in crime, the light in the dark and the shelter from the storm. Both just coming out of messy divorces and being each other’s life line. So what happens when Jax springs a last minute trip on Y/N? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, well that’s what they thought.

Waking Up In Vegas Masterlist

This Months Writing

To unlock the next part this post needs to reach 50 notes 🖤

You couldn’t believe this. Jax booked a table at the fanciest place in town and you had nothing to wear. All of your outfits weren’t suitable for an upscale place - which he knew since he packed your bag, so you just stared at him in disbelief and he just smirked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

The kiss you shared on the mini golf course was still playing on repeat in your mind. It had been a few hours and your head was still spinning. So many questions were running through your mind right now; had Jax noticed the old couple watching you, so he just tried to convince them you were newly weds so they didn’t complain about you holding them up? But now this? Why was he taking you to possibly the fanciest restaurant you will ever go to? Was he just trying to experience everything Vegas had to offer? Or did he feel the sparks and shockwaves from the kiss as well?

“We can’t go,” you said, finally pulling yourself from your thoughts as he was waiting on an answer, throwing your hands up in the air. “I have nothing to wear for a place like that, all my dresses only just contain my ass.”

Jax was amused at your outburst, but he had a trick up his sleeve, he knew he was going to book a table somewhere fancy as it wasn’t very often you came to Vegas. And as he was the one who packed your bag, he managed to slip your black formal dress into the bottom of it without you noticing. “Yes, you do have something to wear,” he smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist, kissing your nose. “Go check your bag again, Darlin’.”

Raising your brow at him, you wiggled out of his grip and emptied your bag onto the bed. The moment you saw the silky black material you rolled your eyes at how sneaky Jax had been. This confirmed the fact you were overthinking things far too much, he had planned this from the start and it didn’t actually mean anything.

“Fine, we will go to this fancy ass place,” you pouted, letting the dress hang over your arm. “But I get the bathroom,” you giggled, grabbing your makeup bag and things you needed before ducking in and shutting the door.

You told yourself he was just experiencing Vegas, just like everyone else did. It wasn’t a reason to get your hopes up but part of you still decided to go all out tonight, seeing as the place was going to be extravagant. So it took you a lot longer to get ready than normal wanting everything to be perfect while still feeling slightly stupid for making this much effort.

Jax sighed heavily as he pulled his clothes from his duffle. He was falling and he was falling hard at this point, he didn’t think there was any stopping this feeling. Not that he really wanted to stop it either, he’d decided.

After he kissed you, everything changed. The moment he realised that he never felt this feeling so intense with anyone else, he knew he was well and truly fucked. It added fuel to the fire that was already setting ablaze to his whole world. This fire couldn’t be extinguished now as it was burning hot and furious. Fuck letting you go when you got back to Charming.

He knew it had potential to make things messy and he was slightly questioning whether he made a mistake because ever since the kiss he felt the tension between the two of you. And he noticed how quiet you had been all night, especially after mentioning the dinner reservations. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do? Maybe he should just cancel the reservation?

The feeling only intensified as he pulled the black button up shirt on, a shirt he hadn’t worn since the graduation that you both had bailed on. The vest he slid over it helped a bit but this wasn’t him. He didn’t wine and dine girls, he was a fuck and chuck kind of guy. One look in the mirror brought out all his insecurities, ones he thought he had buried years ago, all now bubbling to the surface.

He was so deep in thought he didn’t hear you come out of the bathroom.

For the last hour you had been locking down everything you were feeling only for them to come flooding back the moment you opened the door, seeing Jax from across the room. The black jeans hugged his ass perfectly, the black dress shirt was extremely tight giving you the perfect outline of his muscles and it wouldn’t be Jax if he wasn’t wearing some kind of vest, so the black vest that sat on top of the shirt fit him perfectly. And his hair was slicked back with not a strand out of place.

Your mind was spinning as you squeezed your thighs together the moment he spun around. All you could think about was how the shirt hugged his arms and chest perfectly. Words were a struggle right now, your brain couldn’t form coherent sentences. The only word you could come up with was “fuck”.

He stretched his arms, rolling his shoulders, pulling the shirt even tighter. “I’ve had this shirt forever, it was the one Gemma got me for the high school graduation, the one we skipped. Remember?” He babbled, something he only did when he was nervous, but one look at you in that dress turned him to mush. He hadn’t seen this dress on you before but it fit you perfectly, the way it hugged you in all of the right places made his heart race and his dick twitch. “I guess I’ve grown a bit since then,” he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying to keep from fidgeting further.

You couldn’t answer. You were still completely speechless, your brain had gone into meltdown.

“I get it,” he sighed heavily, looking down at his feet. He knew he was trying too hard and had now made himself look stupid. “I look dumb, I will take it off,” he mumbled, his hands coming to the shirt and he started working at the buttons.

“No,” you snapped, cursing yourself for how forceful it came out, as you took some quick steps across the room, placing your hand on top of his, stopping him from undoing the buttons. Taking a breath you spoke again, “What I mean is, I don’t want to throw up when I look at you, so it’s gotta be an improvement,” the moment you saw the hurt flash across his baby blue eyes you regretted your choice of words, cursing yourself mentally. But as quick as he showed the hurt it was gone and he laughed your comment off. In the typical Jax fashion, he was never one to show his emotions.

“Come on, we best be going, we don't want to be late,” he said quietly. It was too late. The damage of your words was done.

Fuck!

The air around the two of you had changed, you had to assume Jax could feel it too. Things were definitely awkward as you stood apart from each other in the elevator, whereas every other night his arm had been around you and you were laughing and joking. But tonight it was like he didn’t want to be close to you and that hurt. But the moment the doors opened he instantly linked his hand with yours, putting on a show to the world as you made your way through the busy lobby to the taxi that was waiting outside. You suddenly realised that the show wasn’t enough anymore. You wanted the real thing.

The silence in the back of the cab was deafening and you hated every second of it. It was like sharing the cab with a stranger, the flirty banter had gone and in its place you were left with the cold silence.

His hand still rested on your thigh, but you knew that it was for the show that had been going on. Looking down you saw the plastic gold coloured ring sitting on his ring finger. You couldn’t help yourself as you tentatively ran your fingers over the top of his hand, circling the ring. You knew it was going to be a long night, and at this moment all you wanted to do was go back to normal but you couldn’t see that happening any time soon.

The restaurant was absolutely stunning, everything about it had a sense of magnificence and beauty, putting the hotel restaurant to shame. But the awkwardness still followed, it wasn’t as bad as in the cab. Having people around helped, easing the pressure of filling up the emptiness than when you were alone.

You knew something more than your comment was playing on Jax’s mind from the way he kept pushing the food around his plate, sitting there in silence. Was it the kiss? Was that playing on his mind as much as it was yours. Lifting your hand up to your mouth you gently grazed fingers across where Jax’s lips had been just hours ago. You could still feel them, it was a feeling that you don’t think you would ever get over.

How could one kiss make everything so hard? Everything had changed, your feeling towards your best friend had changed and throughout the whole meal all you could think about was how bad you wanted him. The shirt pulling tight across his muscles wasn’t helping the situation either. But it wasn’t just about the sex, you wanted everything with him.

It was like everything was starting to make sense now, the reason why you had started comparing him to your ex, the reason why you always felt at home whenever you were with Jax, it didn’t matter where you were, as long as he was by your side, you were good. You never really believed when people told you that home wasn’t a place but it was a person. But now, now you understand what they meant.

He was the person that knew everything about you, the good, the bad and the ugly. But he was still here, still by your side. He was one of the many topics of the arguments between you and your ex. He could see what you guys couldn’t.

This trip had sparked something between you, something you didn’t know existed but now the flames were burning bright and strong with no way of extinguishing them. And if you were being honest - you no longer wanted to.

When it came to Jax, you always felt loved, you always felt safe.

It was time to take matters into your own hands. Taking that leap of faith that would cross the lines of friendship, something that could never be taken back. This would either work or it would make things even more awkward than they already were. But you just had to try.

Slipping your foot out of your heel, you stretched out and seductively started to run your foot out Jax’s leg. Feeling the contact, he jumped at first, not knowing what was happening. It wasn’t like there had been much conversation since the hotel room. But the moment he looked up from his plate he saw you looking at him through your lashes as you bit down on your bottom lip. He couldn’t lie, it made his dick twitch in his jeans. Taking a breath, he felt the awkwardness starting to release it’s death grip on the pair of you.

“What are you doing?”

“Enjoying the evening with my Husband,” you whispered, reaching out to play with his fingers. The moment you connected, he felt like his heart was going to explode. As you moved your foot up higher, gently grazing over his dick his heart rate increased. This was new, very new. And he knew if things carried on lines would be crossed but he just couldn’t bring himself to put a stop to it. The table clothes were heavy and reached the floor. No one could see what you were doing, so this couldn’t have been for show. You were definitely flirting with him and his heart lurched. The naughty look in your eyes, the way you seductively ran your tongue over your bottom lip - he wasn’t crazy. You were feeling what he was feeling and apparently decided it was worth acting on.

You had giggled when he jumped at the unexpected contact. “Still a Virgin after being married Teller? I can’t believe I let you put a ring on it without knowing your inexperience.” You giggled again, knowing full well he wasn’t inexperienced but you wanted a reaction out of him. One that you were definitely getting.

“Come on sweetheart, we both know I’m not inexperienced,” he growled, his eyes darkened with lust as he took your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips, placing gentle kisses over your knuckles.

“Why don’t you show me then, Mr. Teller,” you said leaning forwards, giving him the perfect view of your cleavage.

You had never seen him move so fast, within seconds he had downed the rest of his drink, called the waiter over and settled the bill. He didn’t care if lines got crossed, he wanted you and he wanted you now. And what Jax Teller wanted, he got. He was now on his feet, taking your hand and guiding you to your feet. The moment you were up right he pulled you as close as he could to him. So close you could feel the semi he was rocking in his pants, making you bite down on your bottom lip, looking up at him through your lashes.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, brushing your knuckles over his cheek, letting yourself get lost in his blue eyes, ones that were burning bright with a fire you had never seen in them before. Was this just lust or was it something more?

“Enjoying the night with my Wife,” he breathed against your lips, grazing his over yours but never letting them fully touch. He was so close you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “Now get your shit together, we are leaving, now.”

@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @jomariekirby @i-love-scott-mccall @pascal-reyes @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @corrigan-eko @stephv213 @krswrites @sassymoxley @sixshooter665 @thexhostess @innerpaperexpertcloud @mgkobsessed @stillbreathin

#waking up in vegas #Jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy imagine

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behindyourbarrette · 3 years

Text

Star Light, Star Bright

summary: The team goes camping on a long weekend. Turns out, it’s really easy to tell someone how you feel when you’re under a starry night sky.

pairing: spencer reid/reader

category: fluff, start to finish

warnings/includes: mention of food, a mild burn

work count: 4.1k

a/n: this is my fav thing i’ve written in a HOT SECOND. enjoy! pls reblog if you feel inclined, it helps me out a ton!

check it out on ao3

---

You’ve never found chicken pox to be more of a miracle.

In truth, you are a little saddened that Jack’s Boy Scout troop all got sick and their camping trip had to be postponed. This does not change the fact that you’re elated at the opportunity to nab Hotch’s campsite reservation. The team jumped at the chance for a vacation, the promised long weekend only truly promised in places without cell service.

You pick Spencer up early, the first of many people you’ve offered to drive out to the mountains. After tossing a very heavy-sounding duffel bag into your trunk, he clambers into the passenger seat. He strikes you as a little nervous—he won’t quite look at you as you wind your way out of D.C and towards the countryside.

“I’ve never been camping before, actually.” He says it quietly, mid-conversation about Boy Scouts and the safety of camping with children. There’s a 5-mile radius around Quantico where work is the only thing you can really think about. As you turn onto the highway, hands flexing against the wheel, you’re glad to be free of the office.

“Really? Never?”

It makes sense, the longer his sentence sits on your tongue. Vegas isn’t the most hospitable environment to camp in. You make a mental note to thank your parents for raising you on the East Coast, where the forests are frequent and the soil is actually fertile.

“Yeah. I’m not sure, I’m, uh, really suited for it.” You look at him now, the slight sadness in his eyes, and there are a thousand things you’d like to say. Instead, you reach across the center console, squeezing his hand in yours. Before he can say anything, you’ve returned your hand to the wheel, eyes fixed on the horizon.

---

You’ve lived in Virginia for a few years, but somehow you’ve never found it this breathtaking. You have no idea how you got roped into driving, given that Derek and Emily usually take the wheel, but you’re far from complaining. As you wind through the forest, the canopy of leaves casting a filter of sunshine over the ground, you’re left speechless. The trees part in favor of the dirt road, and you find yourself absorbed in the surplus of green and foliage as you drive.

“There’s over 15,000 acres of this. It’s the largest protected land preserve in the tri-state area.”

You turn your head to watch Spencer murmur, still absorbed in a book. For the first time, you notice that he’s wearing a polo shirt and a beanie that Penelope knit him for Christmas. The whole sight is so...un-Spencer like that you’re torn between finding it endearing and concerning. You gulp down everything you want to tell him, swallowing all of the unidentifiable feelings in your throat.

“I’m excited. I love camping. My dad used to take me here all the time.” He perks up at this, and closes his book. You nod, pursing your lips into a smile. You steal a quick glance at the backseat, where Penelope and Derek have fallen asleep.

“Can you keep a secret?”

You have Spencer’s attention now. He nods so vehemently you laugh, tearing your eyes away from his in favor of focusing on the road.

“I wanted to be a park ranger when I was younger.” You’re only a little embarrassed of this; the jump from environmentalist to federal agent is just laughable enough to warm your cheeks. Spencer’s eyes widen.

“Really? How did you—I mean, when did you decide to be a—actually, I take it back. Hugging trees is beneficial for your health, after all.” He smirks, and you reach out to punch him on the arm. He rubs the spot absently, a grin forming on his face as your blush deepens. You try to portray yourself to the team as someone who’s a little tougher than the little girl who cried when she found out that people litter in National Parks. With Spencer, it’s different. Still, you can’t bank on what he will or won’t tell Derek.

“If you tell anyone, I will kick your ass. Forget it.” You get the sense that you are not going to live this down. To your advantage, it’s Spencer who blushes this time, his cheeks warming a delicate pink.

“I can’t forget it, actually. I have an eidetic—ow!”

---

The campsite is glorious.

Or, as Penelope would put it, rustic. It’s the perfect happy medium between the forest and the lake nearby, with a trail leading to the beach just a few feet from the site. The trees filter out just enough sun so that it’s pleasantly warm out. There’s ample space for a few tents, and a bear locker. You’re seated at a picnic bench with the girls, unloading the food and cooking supplies as the boys attempt to put together tents. From what you can see and hear, it sounds like Derek is muscling his way through it, much to Spencer and Hotch’s chagrin.

“You’re glowing. What’s got you in such a good mood?” Emily nudges you in the side, a sly smile on her face as she screws the propane line into the campstove. You flush, and shrug your shoulders.

“I love camping. I’m just excited to be here with you guys.”

Penelope reaches across the table to hug you. She’s dressed perfectly for the occasion: you don’t think you’ve ever seen bedazzled hiking boots before, but there’s a first time for everything.

“You know, I’m surprised Spence came. He normally skips out on these kinds of things.” JJ looks back at you from the bear locker, where she’s stacking cans of soup and Hotch’s cooler. Her gaze lingers on you for a moment, but you look towards Spencer before she can say anything else. He’s managing to put up his tent surprisingly well; he’s only struggling with the final few posts as he stumbles around the uneven ground. You turn back to JJ, shrugging.

“I mean, I think he can appreciate the outdoors. He’s probably read Walden.”

Emily laughs, and you feel as though the conversation has finally let up. JJ has a point, but as soon as you had asked Spencer if he was coming, he had agreed. He doesn’t look particularly out of place, either. Over the course of the past hour, he’s somehow inherited a pair of sunglasses and a red flannel. You look away, pursing your lips.

“Okay, I think we’re done.” Derek calls, waving his arm to catch your attention. There are now five small tents, only a little crinkled and trampled over. Emily nods in approval, nudging one of them with the tip of her boot. It only shakes a little.

“Good job, guys. They look...structurally sound.” Hands on your hips, you bend to inspect the guys’ handiwork. Spencer winces as you tug on a tent’s zipper, and it whines in protest. You shrug, smiling as you straighten.

“We should check out the lake.” Derek gestures to the blue expanse of water in the distance, and Penelope squeals. You hear the sound of metal clinking together, and turn.

It’s Hotch, holding what you assume to be a fishing pole. While this should be very surprising, you can’t come up with anything funny to say. Emily makes a joke about the catch of the day, and Hotch doesn’t laugh.

“Are there canoes involved? I didn’t bring a suit.” JJ asks, arms crossed over her chest. You nod, pointing to the rental shack on the eastern side of the lake.

“You guys ready to get some sun?”

---

“You look cute in hiking boots, princess.” You should not find this as funny as you do. Maybe it’s the fact that Derek definitely had Penelope apply some sort of oil to his biceps while they were in a tent; there’s no way that he just naturally glistens like that. You squint up at him, shrugging your shoulders. While your outfit is a little unorthodox—you remembered to bring a bikini, but forgot water shoes—it’ll work just fine. Spencer enters your peripheral vision, wrinkling his nose in Derek’s direction. You resist the urge to smile at this.

“Spence.”

You get his attention, catching up to him in just a few steps. The beach is pretty, lacking in sand but perfectly cool and sunny. He’s wearing too-big sunglasses and, surprisingly, Bermuda shorts. You trudge along the rocky path, handing him a bottle of sunscreen.

“Come on, I need your help. Sunscreen me.”

He seems shocked, fiddling with the bottle. You turn your back to him, raising your arms as you walk backwards, waiting to hit him before you stop.

“Is sunscreen a verb?” His voice is a little hoarse, and you smirk.

“Would you prefer lotion? Massage?” You tease, and you can practically feel him tense up.

“N-no, I wouldn’t. Hold your hair up.”

You oblige, and it takes everything in you not to sigh as he rubs the cool sunscreen into your back. He has really, really big hands and nimble fingers. Biting your lip, you conjure a mental image of them. You feel a little silly for imagining his hands when he’s right there, but you don’t want him to stop touching you. He coats your skin, movements deft and purposeful. You turn, reaching for the bottle.

“Take off your glasses. Your turn.” You like being a little bossy; he flushes as you reach up to spread the lotion across his cheeks, dabbing gently. He exhales slowly, relaxing into your touch.

“Let’s go. You’re my canoe buddy.”

His mouth falls open in surprise, and an evil part of your brain wonders how it would feel to kiss it. The thought is gone before you can act on it, though, and you wave him towards the shore. He stands still, lingering by the campsite.

“I was going to read on the beach, actually—”

“Nope. Come on! I need a partner.”

—-

The lake is cool, and you make yourself busy by being a very unhelpful canoeing partner. Spencer is rowing surprisingly well, scooping water from below and propelling the boat forward. You, on the other hand, are focused on stretching out in the boat. The sun is deliciously warm on your skin, and the occasional splash of water is heaven to the touch.

“You know, there are two sets of oars. We’d get the most momentum if you rowed, too.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll row. I’m not any good at it, though. That’s why I needed a partner.” You pat him on the shoulder affectionately, reaching for the other oar. The motion tips the canoe forward a little, and panic flashes across Spencer’s face.

“Don’t do that again. I do not want to end up in this lake. Do you know how many bacteria are in most man made lakes? You don’t want to know.”

You are many things, but you are not a quitter. Testing the waters, you lean forward again as you row, a little out of sync with Spencer’s strokes.

“Please don’t capsize,”

Hotch calls out from the shore, and Spencer shoots you a look as if to say listen. You shrug, continuing to row and occasionally shifting your weight. The look on his face is worth it.

“You know how to swim, right?”

You ask, voice low and as inconspicuous as you can manage. This backfires—Spencer turns around to shake his head, unbalancing the boat. He lets go of his oar, tightening the strap on his life vest. You cling to the sides, laughing as you try to steady the canoe.

“Not funny. You know, boating related accidents are incredibly common.”

His voice drifts off as Derek and Emily’s boat passes by. Their sportsmanship is admirable; they’re working as a perfect unit, quickly propelling their canoe forward with quick rowing and a lot of effort.

Spencer is scolding you half-heartedly when you get caught in their wake. You couldn’t have steadied the boat if you tried; and before you can react the canoe is upside down and you’re cast into the cool blue.

“I’m going to contract a brain-eating amoeba.”

Spencer coughs, bobbing to the surface. You emerge a few moments later, laughing, and reach for him.

“Worth it. You have plenty of brains to be eaten, genius.”

You watch him try to contain his smile the entire way to the shore.

---

You’re drying off as the sun sets, splashes of pink and purple coating the sky. It’s incredible; over the lake you can see the entire expanse of fields and forest, laid out like a painting.

“You guys brought food, right?”

Emily calls out from the picnic bench. She’s toweling off, sunglasses in her hair as she jokes with Morgan. You nod, turning back to Spencer.

He’s thoroughly drenched. You feel a little guilty for tipping the boat over; he’s spent a decent amount of time wringing out his clothes, and as night falls a chill builds in the air. After pulling a jacket on, you toss him a towel.

“That was fun.”

Your eyes widen a little, genuine surprise lodging itself in your throat. He takes in the look on your face, smiling lightly.

“Better than reading on the beach?” You offer, but this is too good to be true.

“Marginally.”

You frown, suppressing a smirk as you catch the scent of propane drifting through the air. You both head in the direction of the camp stove, where Hotch is fiddling with the gas tank.

“That looks...unsafe.” Spencer mutters, brow furrowed.

Hotch shoots him a look, and you both back off in favor of finding Morgan and Garcia, who are attempting to start a bonfire.

You don’t expect this to happen.

Spencer is arguably your best friend. He’s been there for you through thick and thin. For better or for worse, you’ve had each other. This trip was supposed to be unifying, and a small part of you had even hoped that maybe, just maybe, it’d give you the bravery to say what you’ve been thinking for a while.

“I cannot believe you intentionally burn your marshmallows.”

Spencer is looking at you like you’ve committed a crime; you are very familiar with this expression, but being on the receiving end of it is new. Thankfully, you’re ready to defend your stance to near-death. A somewhat maniacal grin on your face, you stab another marshmallow onto a skewer and shove it directly into the fire.

“I’m with Pretty Boy on this one. That’s just cruel. It doesn’t even heat it all the way through.” You scowl in Derek’s direction, turning back to your now on-fire marshmallow. You pull it out of the flame, watching it sear as the group murmurs in distaste. It only took three hours to start a fire, and by that time Emily had managed to heat a can of soup on the campstove. Spirits were relatively high, all things considered.

You watch in wonder as the marshmallow curves, melting just how you like it. Before you can stop it, it falls straight down onto your leg.

“Shit. That’s like, on fire.”

You say, your voice rising in pitch and volume as it becomes increasingly clear that not only is the marshmallow very, very hot but it is not coming off. The group springs into unsure action, voices loud and panicked as you push away from both your chair and the fire. The physics of melting sugar be damned, Derek manages to scrape it off with his skewer, and you’re left with a very attractive hole in your pants and a patch of tender skin.

“How do you love camping?” JJ asks, eyes wide as she watches you brush yourself off. Stabbing another marshmallow onto your skewer, you shrug.

“It’s all part of the fun.”

This time, you don’t set your marshmallow on fire. You mimic Spencer, who is carefully rotating his marshmallow. There has to be a system for what he’s doing; he’s laser-focused on the fire, his entire face lit up by the flickering red and orange light. You lean in, and before long you fall into a rhythm of roasting a marshmallow to golden-brown perfection, then pressing it into a graham cracker. Emily is incredible at assembling s’mores, and by time the fire is just a few crackling embers everyone has a little chocolate smeared over their faces.

“I’m really glad we did this.” JJ’s voice is just above a whisper. She’s leaning against Emily, the two of them sharing a blanket as the fire slowly fades. Hotch nods sagely, a rare smile on his face.

“It’s nice. A break. Some fresh air. Trees.” You gesture to the forest around you, unable to contain a sheepish grin. When you look to your right, Spencer’s smiling too. Penelope squeezes your hand. As you watch the last log burn into ash, you wonder how you got so lucky.

---

Later, everyone is too tired to stargaze.

This fact wounds you deeply. Stargazing is your favorite part of camping; there is absolutely nothing that parallels the experience of driving away from the city and looking up into the constellations. To your dismay, everyone is in their tents by the time it’s dark enough to see the winks of light overhead.

You begrudgingly get ready for bed; stepping around the campsite, it’s clear to see that everyone has mostly turned in for the night. Derek and Penelope’s tent is dark. Emily, Hotch, and JJ are all snoring at varying volumes. Spencer’s light is on; you can see his shadow, leaning over to peer at a book. You brush your teeth, swatting bugs away as you stumble towards your tent.

You manage to spend thirty minutes in your tent before you lose your patience. This entire camping trip has been a dream; no work, no cell service, and the people you care about. You’ll be damned if you let it pass you by without checking absolutely everything off your list. You step, a little wobbly, towards the front of your tent. You tug the zipper open, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

On shaking legs, you tug your hiking boots on, the evening cold nipping at your ankles. Despite your attempts to lessen the noise, you watch Spencer’s shadow waver.

“Spence!” You stage-whisper, praying to every deity you can think of that he’s awake and the rest of the team isn’t. To your immediate relief, you watch him tug the zipper of his tent down and emerge, swatting at a few lingering mosquitoes. He looks a little cold; his cheeks are pink and he’s rubbing at his arms. The sight of him in a hoodie and flannel pajama pants is more endearing than you’d expect, and you exhale to clear your head.

“What’s going on?”

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, and you point to the sky. He takes a cursory glance up, and you watch his jaw fall slack as he takes in the starry skies.

“Come on. We can see better from over there.”

You wave him towards the beach. You know exactly where you’re headed; while you’ve never camped in this specific spot, you know how to reach your favorite place to stargaze. Spencer looks at you with something between curiosity and admiration as you lead the way with a flashlight. The forest is still awake and responsive at this hour, crickets chirping and leaves rustling as you step through the greenery.

You find it quickly; the boardwalk is unmistakable. It’s a field, like the ones you’ve been surrounded by all day. Spencer identifies the leaves as rhubarb plants as you step onto the wooden pathway. While any field would work, this one is ideal; the sky opens up as far as the eye can see, the trees parting to admire the world above.

“Here.” You turn off your flashlight, allowing your eyes to adjust to the low, blue moonlight. Spencer follows you as you crouch, laying with your back to the boardwalk. This is what you came for.

“Oh my God.” Your face splits into a grin once you hear Spencer’s voice, low and gravelly against your ear. The sky above is endless; all you can see is the expanse of the stratosphere, stars bright and darkness vast over your heads. You tear up a little; you always do. It feels like the universe is leaning down to meet you in the middle, pressing its face to yours.

“Tell me what you see. I know that you know what we’re looking at.”

You scoot a little closer, trying to absorb a little of his warmth. Eyes still fixed on the sky, Spencer begins.

“There’s so little light pollution. I...I’ve never seen this many stars at once.” His eyes narrow a little, and you watch as he absorbs the world above him.

“That’s Orion.” He points to a collection of stars to your left, a few brighter than the others.

“Those three in a row, that’s his belt. You might be able to see his bow, too, to the right.

The brightest one is six hundred and forty light years away. Betelgeuse.” His voice has dropped to a whisper, and you follow his every word. You can see the warrior above you, the stars winking at you as Spencer describes them.

You fall quiet after a few minutes, and the only sound is that of your slow, synced breaths. You feel as though Spencer has peeled the sky open and revealed it to you; with him, you can see another world entirely.

“We’re looking into the past right now.”

You turn to look at him, a laugh ready to bubble past your lips. You look back up at the sky, where he’s pointed to the Big Dipper.

“That’s Dubhe. We’re seeing light from before we were born.”

You nod, a tear sliding down your cheek and cooling before it reaches your nose. There is so much you would like to tell him before you are both light, visible in this moment from somewhere far away.

As you stare up into the starscape, you gasp. There’s a shooting star, dragging across the Pleiades and heading towards the western skies.

“Make a wish,” You breathe. Before you lose your nerve, you reach out to Spencer, lacing your fingers together. Turning your head, you watch as he grins up at the sky. His features are softer when drenched in moonlight; the slope of his nose, the arch of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw all bathed in a dreamy quality.

After the shooting star winks out, trailing across the dark and blinking into nothing, the silence feels heavier.

“What did you wish for?”

You’re sure that he can hear your heartbeat. The steady thrum of your heart against your ribcage is a drum, urging you forward. You watch his brow knit in consideration, before his gaze finally meets yours. His eyes are more hazel than you’ve ever noticed, each fleck of gold striking you as a star.

“If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

His voice is soft, laced with something solemn beneath the surface. You nod, stealing a glance at the sky before you swallow your fear.

"I wished for you." You say quietly.

You don’t know who moves first, only that there’s a brief shuffle before you’re holding each other. He reaches to cradle your face in his hands, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, before finally reaching your lips. Your hands ghost over his jaw, trailing down his neck as he laces his fingers into your hair. You can’t quite breathe, nor think, only repeat a simple refrain over and over, a prayer passing over your lips and into the dark.

Spencer.

---

The sun rises lazily, pink and orange brushstrokes against a blue sky. You’re awake early—to put it lightly, Spencer’s tent is cramped—and it feels good to breathe in the morning air. The team is still asleep, a few yards away as you stretch and take in the cool dawn.

You think maybe, this is all a dream. You’re not sure how else this would exist, so perfectly and wholly true. The universe is a benevolent thing, after all. There is no other explanation for Spencer Reid, the man the world got right.

“You have pancake batter in your hair,” You say, a little mournfully but still laughing. Still layered in jackets and hats, you feel as though you’re being warmed from the inside out. Spencer’s eyes widen, and he reaches up with a batter-covered hand to feel his hair. You laugh again, a little too loudly this time, and he shushes you between chuckles.

The campstove is quiet, the gas running blue as Spencer flips a pancake over. You neglected to tell him that folding the pancake mix in slowly would prevent...explosions. If you had warned him, you wouldn’t have the chance to kiss the flour off of his face, smiling against his cheeks. With a mittened hand, you brush the powder off of his eyelashes.

“Chocolate chips, right?”

You smile, nodding. He remembers how you like your pancakes. Turning away from him, you rifle through a storage bin for something you packed.

“Are you looking for syrup? It’s over here.” He calls, his voice soft against the hushed sounds of morning. The birds have begun to chirp, calling to each other in alternating duets. You shake your head, and present him with a contraption.

His eyes light up, and he looks at you with something a little wild and entirely resembling devotion. You reveal with your other hand a bag of coffee grounds from the coffee shop near your house, grinning up at him.

“I can’t believe you brought me a French press.”

You grin, turning your face as your cheeks burn. Maybe you had hoped this would happen, in slightly different words. After you both tuck into your pancakes, leaning over a plate on the same side of a picnic bench, you watch the sunrise. A bundle of puffy jackets and intertwined hands, you press your back into Spencer’s embrace.

As you watch the moon recede into the horizon, you hope that your past is standing hand and hand, gazing at you fondly.

#spencer reid fic #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #disco writes #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid oneshot #fic writing #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds self insert

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

The "Rumple Buttercup" situation (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Requested?: Yes!

Hi, I don't know if this is where you take request but I was thinking about a 2nd part to "The devils food cake" chapter about when they think of names they argue about the middle name being rumple (Matthew wants rumple to be the middle name (y/n) doesn't)

Category: Flufflies fluff. Hardcore fluff.

Summary: Matthew tries to convince his wife to name their first newborn "Rumple Buttercup."

Warnings: Zero. I don't think I even cursed on this one. But you have to know how to handle your fluff.

Word count: 2K

Masterlist

You can read the original one shot here

A/N: Hello! How is everybody doing this week? Sending love to all my pretty people 💜 I got so excited with this request I made this gif for it ✨

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The house was oddly silent when (Y/N) walked in. She smelled the fresh baked cookies and... lavender? That was new. The place wasn't a mess when she left the house that morning, but it didn't look like that at all. Someone had been taking care of everything in her absence.

- "Matthew?"- (Y/N) walked in and took a look around. Everything was clean and in perfect order. It didn't loot at all like the house she had left that very same morning.

- "In the kitchen, Bunny!"- he announced with a cheerful voice and (Y/N) followed the delicious smell and the sweet voice of her husband.

- "Welcome back! How was your day with your mom?"

- "Hey! It was good. I had fun"- Matthew smiled at his wife as soon as he watched her walk into the kitchen and opened his arms to greet her with a warm hug.

- "I missed you, Bunny"- he whispered and kissed her lips sweetly, cupping her face with both hands, holding her cheeks, and caressing them with his lips.

- "I missed you too, honey."- (Y/N) murmured and sighed, enjoying the sensation of Matthew's hands on her.

- "And how's my little baby bean?"- he whispered, and his hands traveled from her face to her belly.

- "Baby Gub is kicking a lot today. I think he is having a rave in there."

The way Matthew's heart skipped a beat each time he heard the words "Baby Gub" killed him. He couldn't get over the fact he was going to be a father in four months. He couldn't believe it yet. It was his dream come true.

So, Matthew hummed in response and kissed his wife one more time before looking at her with a big adorable, and goofy smile.

- "I've got you a little surprise,"- he announced and held her hand

- "Really? I noticed you did some cleaning. Is that the surprise?"- (Y/N) asked as Gubler insisted she sat on a couch and helped her taking out her purple Converse.

- "That's part of the surprise,"- Matthew answered with a mysterious smile- "Now stay here and relax for a minute."

- "But no. Wait, stay here too, I missed you," (Y/N) argued, but Gubler just pecked her lips and walked back to the kitchen.

- "It will only be a second, Bunny! Meanwhile, tell me, what did you do with your mom today."

- "She took our baby bean shopping. Can you help me get a million bags from the car later?"

- "Sure!!"- Gubler yelled from the kitchen- "What did you get?"

- "Mom went nuts and got us so many baby clothes. I don't think our baby will have time to wear it all before it's too small for him."- Matthew chuckled at the idea of their baby wearing tiny socks that didn't fit on his little feet.

- "Then, she invited me for lunch and overfed me, but I can't complain, 'cos I was starving, and she took me to that little Italian place near to their house, and it's just so good! I think I ate my weight on garlic bread."

Matthew frowned and looked at the tray he was preparing. It had homemade cookies, a chocolate milkshake, one cupcake, and a heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

- "So... you are not hungry?"- he asked, hesitant to bring his wife the snack he had prepared for her.

- "Starving, actually. Your son is gonna make me gain a million pounds."- Matthew smiled and grabbed the tray, walking with confidence back to the family room.

- "That's what I wanted to hear, 'cos I made this for you."

(Y/N) widened her eyes in awed, smiled at her husband when he stood by her side and placed the tray on her legs.

- "I cooked all your favorites while you were gone"

- "Matthew Gray, you are the sweetest husband on Earth"- (Y/N) raised her hands and reached his face, forcing him to lean over and kiss her.

- "What do you want?"- she whispered and smiled

- "What do you mean?"

- "I'm your wife. I've known you for the last... nine years. I know you are going to ask me for something"- Gubler gasped, pretending to be shocked and insulted, but (Y/N) shook her head and took a large sip of her milkshake.

- "Really, (Y/N). I can't believe you think I'm nice to you only because I wanna ask you for something."

- "So you won't?"- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and chewed a cookie- "These are delicious, honey. Thank you so much."

- "no, you already broke my heart"- Matthew sighed and sat at the other side of the couch.

- "Oh, come on!"

- "I was just trying to be nice with my wife."

- "You are adorable. If I weren't pregnant already, I would actually ask you to knock me up"- Gubler tried not to chuckle but failed.

- "Come on, Gub, give me a smile"- (Y/N) giggled and looked at Matthew- "You know you want to smile."

- "Stop it."

- "Come on, honey"- (Y/N) reached out for his hand and held it- "Just tell me what it was that you wanted to ask me"- Gubler bit his inner cheek and sighed.

- "I hate that you know me so well."

- "It's part of the job of being your wife"- (Y/N) smiled pleased and grabbed another cookie- "So?"- she chewed the cookie and gave one to Matthew.

- "Ok... here's the deal"- Matthew ran his hands through his hair and made a pause, trying to rearrange his thoughts. (Y/N) looked at him, waiting and eating all the cookies on the dish.

- "I'm waiting."

- "Ok, so... we are going to have a kid"- Matthew stated- "And that kid has to have a name"- suddenly (Y/N) knew exactly where that conversation was going.

- "Yes, he has."

- "And we haven't talked about the baby's name"

- "No"- (Y/N) shook her head and crossed her arms on her chest immediately.

- "But I haven't even told you what I wanted to ask."

- "The baby's name won't be Rumble Buttercup."

Matthew opened his mouth to argue, and (Y/N) looked right into his eyes with a deadpan stare.

- "But why not?"

- "Are you serious, Matthew? You already have a "kid" named Rumple."

- "Yes, but it's different, 'cos he is my "first child book," and our baby is our firstborn child."

- "No"- (Y/N) shook her head again and grabbed the sandwich. Yes, she had eaten most of the day, but she really felt hungry. Maybe it was anxiety or cravings, but whatever it was, she just felt hungry the whole time.

- "Come on (Y/N), be fair here."

- "Ok, I'll be fair. Explain your case."

Matthew stood up and cleared his throat, ready to convince his wife. He fixed his hair, though it was a useless attempt to look a little more serious. If anything, he just made her want to laugh more, 'cos he was being adorable.

- "Ever since I was a little kid, I always dreamed about the day I could call my first son "Rumple Buttercup." Rumple is an old family name in the Gubler family, and I am sure naming our baby as his ancestors will assure him a life of happiness and love."

Gubler smiled at his wife, and (Y/N) nodded, chewing the last bite of the sandwich.

- "Who was called Rumple in the Gubler's family?"- she asked, and Matthew almost jumped, looking at her excitedly.

- "Excellent question, Bunny. You'll see, my great-great-grandfather, Rumple Buttercup Gubler, first arrived in America in early 1800, all alone with no family. And he built the first casino of Las Vegas."

- "In the early 1800"- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and tried not to laugh.

- "He was a visionary. Don't you want our baby to be a visionary too?"

- "I do, I definitely do. But... can we talk about my great-great-grandfather? His name was Yertle, and he also had a vision. And a mustache!"- (Y/N) said and made her best not to laugh, as Matthew raised an eyebrow and bit his lips, trying not to laugh as well.

- "Yertle?"- he asked, crossing his arms on his chest- "Your great-great grandfather's name was Yertle?

- "Yes"- she nodded and smiled- "Yertle the Turtle. It's also an old family name, and most of the man in my family had carried that name after him".

- "I've never heard of one an "uncle Yertle" when we hang out with your family."

- "I've never heard of an "uncle Rumple Buttercup" when we hang out with yours."

- "He has been mentioned many times. All the Rumples of my family has been amazing men."

- "Just like our good old Yertle."

- "But I called dibs on the baby's name!"- Matthew failed and laughed at his own words and sat by his wife, huffing. (Y/N) giggled and rested her head on his shoulder.

- "What if we find a great name together?"- she whispered. Matthew held her hand and played with her fingers between his for a second.

- "Or we can call him Rumple."

- "Rumple Yertle Gubler"- she whispered and shook her head- "I'm not sure."

- "Rumple Buttercup Yertle Gray Gubler"- he corrected and chuckled- "Fine, let's find another name."

- "Thank you, honey"- (Y/N) smiled and sighed- "Wanna split the cupcake?"

- "Yes, please."

Matthew looked at his wife, carefully splitting the cupcake he had made for her, and took half. He could have had a whole tray of cupcakes, but that was the only one that didn't burn. Matthew wasn't really the best baker in the world, but he had tried his best. He wanted to do something nice for his wife. She hadn't been feeling good in the last few weeks. The baby kept her up most of the nights, moving and kicking. She couldn't really rest, and everybody kept telling her it wasn't going to be any better once the baby was born.

- "So... wanna think of names now?"- (Y/N) asked him with a smile- "Wanna think of another man with an amazing vision and incredible mustache to name our baby?"

- "Actually"- Matthew whispered and smiled- "I had a plan B in case you weren't on board with Rumple."

- "Really?"- (Y/N) frowned, wondering what was Matthew going to come up with now- "Suprise me."

- "Vincent"- there was a long silence after Gubler said that name. (Y/N) gave it a little thinking, running all the nickname options in her head.

- "Vincent Gray Gubler"- Matthew added the rest of the name- "What do you think?"

- "LIttle Vincent Gray Gubler... Vince, Vinnie..."

- "Like Vincent Price. He is an amazing man with a vision and an incredible mustache."

(Y/N) kept nodding as she finished eating her cupcake. Her husband turned to her and waited for an answer.

- "I love the name"- she whispered and grinned at Matthew- "What do you think, Vincent Gray?"- she asked, looking at her tummy.

- "Knock once for yes and twice for no"- Matthew giggled and caressed (Y/N) belly. And as if he could hear them, the little baby kicked her once. The Gublers looked at each other with wide-opened eyes, surprised and shocked by the quick answer of their unborn son.

- "It's settled then, Vincent!"- Matthew replied to the belly and kissed it- "You just picked your name!"

(Y/N) looked at her husband and moved closer, holding his face with both hands, and pulling him closer to her.

- "I love you, Gub"- she whispered and kissed him

- "I love you too, Mrs. Gub."

- "Thank you for putting a baby on my belly,"- she murmured, and he chuckled, caressing her hair and looking into her eyes, which were getting a little tearful at the moment.

- "Sorry, hormones"- she excused herself and chuckled- "I'm just so excited we picked his name."

- "I'm excited too, Bunny,"- Matthew whispered and kissed her one more time- "Now, what do you say I get you some herbal tea?"

- "I'd ask you to marry me, but you already did,"- she answered with a huge smile. Matthew kissed her one more time and stood up. Vincent Gray Gubler. Sounded like a dream.

--------

Taglist:

@all-tings-diego

#Spencer reid #Matthew Gray Gubler #mgg #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler x reader #mgg fanfiction #babymetalldoll writes #mg fluff #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #rumple buttercup #Babymetaldoll edits #babymetaldoll writes

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bellakitse · 3 years

Text

Only you

TK stares into Carlos’ brown eyes, lost in them and the love he sees there. “Do you think about kids?” he finds himself blurting out loudly, his voice cracking at the end.

Seeing Carlos with the Vega girls sparks a conversation between TK and Carlos about their future.

*spoilers for 2.14*

“Well, that was fun,” Tommy says dryly as they pull the ambulance into her driveway as the sun sets on Austin. “Pretty sure we’re going to find dust on us for weeks to come.”

TK nods, making a face as he parks the rig. “In very uncomfortable places for sure.”

Tommy chuckles, flashing him an amused smile as he shifts in his seat. “Come on, let’s go see if your boy survived my own forces of nature.”

TK grins back at his Captain, himself interested in seeing how Carlos faired with the adorable Vega twins. He follows Tommy towards her front door, stopping short when she comes to a stop two steps into the house.

“Damn, that really is cute,” he hears her say, fond and a little emotional.

TK peers over her shoulder, curious to see what she means, his breath catching in his lungs at the sight before them, causing him to let out a soft sound. “Oh.”

Isabella, Evie, and Carlos are asleep on the couch – Carlos in the middle, while the girls each use one of his legs as a pillow. Carlos’ hands rest on the girls’ backs protectively, his head tilting forward.

“I used to find them like this with Charles all the time,” Tommy whispers, bringing a shaky hand to her mouth, taking a breath before she continues. “They would tire themselves out playing and still wait up for me to come home. I used to tell Charles not to do it, but he was such a pushover when it came to the girls.”

TK places a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving her a small smile when she turns to look at him. “He was a really good dad,” he whispers back, squeezing her shoulder when she gives him a wobbly nod.

“He really was,” Tommy agrees, sniffing loudly to keep from crying. She turns to look back at the three sleeping bodies, her smile coming back as she does. “Your boy is a good one in training.”

TK startles at the comment, his heart ticking up nervously at the suggestion behind her words. “Oh, I, that’s, we – ” he stammers as Tommy turns her knowing eye to him.

“Did I just break your brain?” she asks with a smirk, her brown eyes dancing with affectionate amusement.

TK tries to answer, coming up with nothing; finally, he lets out a huff, rolling his eyes as she continues to smirk at him. “That was mean, Cap,” he pouts when she lets out another chuckle.

“I’m just making an observation,” she says as she lifts her hands innocently. “You found yourself a good one, and as one of my kids,” she continues warmly as she reaches out to squeeze his hand. “I’m happy for you.”

TK feels a lump in his throat at her words, both her comments about him and Carlos and her familial affection for him making him feel warm inside. “Thanks, Cap,” he says softly, giving her fingers a squeeze in hopes she understands he feels the same love for her.

Tommy gives him another smile before she nods towards the trio. “I’ll let you do the honors,” she motions.

TK lets out another huff of laughter as he moves towards the couch, crouching down to be at eye level with Carlos. He reaches out to touch his cheek, smiling softly when his boyfriend instinctively leans into the touch. “Babe, wake up, we’re back,” he says softly as he runs his hand from Carlos’ cheek to his hair. He watches him, his smile growing as he slowly opens his beautiful brown eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips when he’s awake enough to realize it’s him.

“Hey, baby,” Carlos says with a yawn, bringing a hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Saved the world?”

TK moves his head from side to side jokingly. “We did our part,” he answers, stroking Carlos’ curls once more. “How did you do?”

“The girls are crazy good at the Nintendo Switch,” he answers, looking over his shoulder to look at Tommy. “They kicked my butt, but they’re going to let me have a re-match when I get better.”

“How magnanimous of them,” Tommy laughs softly with a shake of her head. “I better get them to bed even though it probably means they’ll be up at the crack of dawn.”

“I got it, no worries, Captain Vega,” Carlos answers as he smoothly gets up without waking either girl. TK stares, his heart pounding a little faster as Carlos picks up Evie first, heading for the girls’ bedroom. A few minutes later, he comes back for Isabella, doing the same, leaving him and Tommy alone in the living room watching after him.

“Damn,” Tommy whispers, impressed, her eyes twinkling. She turns her gaze to him, and TK feels himself blush at the knowing look she gives him. “I bet you take advantage of those muscles.”

TK’s face burns, but it doesn’t stop him from giving her a bratty smirk that makes her laugh with delight. “You know it, Cap.”

֎֎֎

TK comes into the bedroom he and Carlos are temporarily using in his father’s home, rubbing at his wet hair with a towel. “Even with the shower, I feel like I didn’t get all the dust off.”

“I offered to spot check you, and you said no,” Carlos answers from the head of the bed where he’s reading a book.

“The crew is coming over in an hour,” he reminds him, throwing a smile over his shoulder as he drops the towel around his waist while looking for a pair of underwear, smiling to himself as he feels Carlos’ eyes on his backside. “If you had joined me, we’d still be in there, and you know it.”

“So you’re saying you didn’t want to tempt me with your wet, naked body,” Carlos asks sarcastically as TK hears him close his book and stand from the bed.

“Exactly,” he answers teasingly, letting out a gasp when he feels Carlos’ body pressed against his back.

“Then you’re not doing a great job, baby,” he whispers into the skin under his right ear, pulling the lobe into his mouth to give it a soft suck.

“Seriously? Now?” TK groans even as he presses his body back into Carlos’ frame. He turns around, letting out a shallow breath at the heat he finds in Carlos’ gaze. “When we have people coming over, and I can’t have my wicked way with you the way I have wanted to since we left Tommy’s?”

Carlos raises an eyebrow at him. “Anything in particular that got you going at Tommy’s?”

TK feels himself blush, realizing his mistake. Turning around again, he quickly slips on a pair of blue boxer briefs before reaching for a pair of jeans and a short-sleeve button-down shirt with flowers on them.

“TK?”

TK sighs softly, knowing Carlos isn’t going to let it go. He turns back towards his boyfriend, giving him a sheepish smile when he finds his curious gaze on him. “You taking care of the girls,” he starts to say, his face growing hotter when Carlos raises an eyebrow at him, the corners of his lips twitching as he begins to understand. “You looked really good with them, and I thought – “

“What?” Carlos questions softly, his expression serious and focused on him as he comes back into TK’s space, reaching out to place his hands on his hips. “You thought what?”

TK stares into Carlos’ brown eyes, lost in them and the love he sees there. “Do you think about kids?” he finds himself blurting out loudly, his voice cracking at the end. He cringes, opening his mouth, ready to apologize, stopping short when Carlos speaks.

“Yes,” he says easily, giving TK a shrug like they’re talking about something simple and not children, which is anything but. “I think of a little boy who I can teach to cook, and read the stories my mom used to read to me at bedtime. A mini-you, who you’ll dress up in flower button-downs and skinny jeans to match with you. Maybe a little girl afterwards, the queen of the house, wrapping both of us around her little finger. They would get away with everything with us as their parents,” he chuckles fondly as he paints their future with his words. “We would love them so much.”

TK stares at Carlos, feeling his heart pounding. He swallows hard, clearing his throat when he finds it hard to speak. “You want kids with me?” he whispers, afraid that any louder will break the magic of the moment.

Carlos smiles softly, his eyes closing for a moment as he does so. When he opens them, he takes another step, their chests brushing against each other as he reaches up to cup TK’s face, tilting it towards his. “Baby,” he says gently, rubbing the tip of his nose against his as he presses their foreheads together.

TK swallows again, overwhelmed by the emotions he’s feeling. He squeezes the sides of Carlos’ waist, needing something to anchor himself.

“When I think about kids, or the future in general,” he continues, love coming off him in waves. “You are at the center, always. Whether there are kids or not in it, my future has you right there next to me. You are my future, TK.”

TK closes the small gap between their faces, kissing Carlos desperately, letting out a groan when Carlos matches his need. They kiss long and hard, hands touching any part of the other they can, and TK really wants to take it further if it weren’t for the fact that their friends are going to be over any minute. He’s not done thinking about it when he hears the bell ring. He pulls away reluctantly, whimpering when he sees the heat in Carlos’ eyes.

“To be continued,” he promises, leaning in to give Carlos another kiss, this one soft and tender. “You’re my future too,” he whispers, his eyes locking with Carlos’, making sure he understands he means it. “That little boy and little girl, none, one, two, or six kids,” he grins when it makes Carlos chuckle. “It doesn’t matter as long as it’s with you and only you.”

Carlos pulls him into a hug, kissing the side of his face. “I love you.”

TK returns the embrace, pressing his lips into Carlos’ muscled shoulder. “I love you too.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #911 lone star fic #tarlos fic #tk x carlos #my writing

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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fortheloveofwonderland · 3 years

Text

Under Silken Skies [Spencer Reid x fem! Reader]

A/N - just an angsty little oneshot I needed to get out of my head. Fufills my Break Up Square on my CM Bingo Card for @cmbingo . My permanent Tag List is open. Find my CM Bingo Masterlist Here. Find my full masterlist here.

My request are also Open for prompts/reqs/headcannons/aesthetics or just to say hi.

CW - major character death and lots of angst. Very vague mentions of smut and virgin! Spencer, vague mentions of Maeve and what happens to Spencer in the S15 finale (if it had ended differently). This does not have a happy ending.

WC: 4K

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He was eleven and you were thirteen. You didn’t know his name, only he was smart and awkward and got teased because of those things.

You found him tied to a flagpole as you’d left detention one night on your way across the soccer field. He was naked aside from his underwear and blindfolded.

He cried as you untied him, his skin like ice. You insisted you were there to help, whether he believed you or not you weren’t sure.

You stripped off your oversized jumper and slipped it over his head, helping him guide his arms in the holes. He didn’t thank you. He didn’t ask why. He just wrapped himself in the warmth.

He told you his name was Spencer. Spencer Reid and he’d been tricked by a girl and stripped of his clothes and tied to the flagpole.

He’d been there hours before you found him.

You sat together on the dewy grass, no more than a handful of words passed between you. He asked why you’d helped, why you’d stayed but you’d simply shrugged.

Maybe you’d felt bad for him or maybe you’d felt drawn to him. You knew all about school bullies.

He seemed so small and unsure of himself, as though the mere act of sitting with you was cause for panic.

He didn’t make eye contact. You saw him glance in your direction a few times when you weren’t looking.

He was so fragile you didn’t understand how anyone could do that to such an innocent creature. He just wanted to fit in, isn’t that all we really wanted?

He couldn’t help being smart.

There was a sadness about him that went further than what the bullies had done today. You could tell it was the kind of air that followed him around, a permanent dark cloud.

It hurt you to know someone so young could carry so much pain. It didn’t seem fair that at his tender age he already seemed defeated by the world that surely had so much more to throw at him.

What if he wasn’t strong enough to cope with the terrors of the world? You hoped maybe these formative years would make him stronger against what was to come. Maybe it was helping to build up those walls early, making him stronger for the horrors he would no doubt have to face later in life.

You weren’t sure, but one thing you were sure of was Spencer Reid had sad, sad eyes. You could tell he needed a friend and maybe you could be it. Maybe you could protect him.

So for now the two of you sat side by side on the soccer field, under the moonlit silken sky.

***

He was twelve and you fourteen and he was finally getting out of the hell hole that was high school.

It was his graduation day and his gown drowned his small frame and his cap was too big for his head and kept falling to the side.

You straightened it for him again and gave him a soft smile.

He was going to CalTech in the fall and you were so proud of him, but gosh were you going to miss him.

It had only been little over a year since the night on the soccer field but the two of you had become friends. He helped you with your homework and you kept the bullies away from him.

You’d become his protector, he looked up to you and although he would never tell anyone this, he had a crush on you. A big one.

He was excited about CalTech but he was sad to leave you.

There were a lot of mixed emotions in the air. You’d stay in touch and he’d come back and visit but it wouldn’t be the same.

Who was going to keep him safe at college? Who was going to keep an eye on him? What happened if the bullies at CalTech were even worse and you were hundreds of miles away not being able to do anything about it?

He’d told you not to worry about him, that he’d be fine but it was hard not to. He was still so tiny and fragile, like a baby bird and if truth be told you were scared for him.

“I’m proud of you Crash.” You straightened his tie.

He rolled his eyes under his thick glasses. One time you’d heard his mom call him that and you hadn’t stopped calling him it since.

“Thanks Y/N.” He smiled but it was a sad smile.

You placed your hands gently on his shoulders, knowing what he was thinking. You’d gotten really good at reading his mind.

“Me too.” You whispered. You leant close and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

His face turned crimson and he chewed his lip. His cheek felt like it was on fire where your lips had touched him.

“Come on Crash, it’s time.” You slid your hand in his and started leading him towards the stage he was going to walk over and accept his diploma.

Within a matter of weeks he would be gone and you’d be alone again just as you had been before you’d met him.

So for now the two of you walked hand in hard across towards the stage, under the sun soaked silken sky.

***

Spencer was sixteen and you were eighteen and you’d just witnessed his second graduation; this time from CalTech.

The gown fit him a lot better this time than it had at his high school graduation. Over the last year or so he had sprung up in height, now towering over you. He had grown up a lot over the last few years. He was slowly becoming a man.

“Look at you.” You nudged him in the arm. “So grown up.”

“Shut up.” He batted you away with a shy smile. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come here if I knew all you were going to do was embarrass me.”

“Sorry Crash.” you smirked. “I am so, so proud of you kid.”

You gently tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. His cheeks burned in embarrassment.

He was coming back to Vegas and you would have been thrilled if it wasn’t for the fact in a few months you were going off to college yourself.

It seemed unfair life had brought you together only to tear you apart over and over again. There seemed like there was never a right time for the two of you.

“You ready?” you asked him softly, trying not to focus on the thought of being torn away from him again.

“Almost.” he nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

You assumed he was trying to calm his nerves before taking to the stage for his graduation ceremony but it wasn’t that.

His hands were shaking when he came close to you and placed them on your hips.

“What are you doing?” you tilted your head at him in confusion.

Before Spencer could change his mind about his next move he closed his eyes and moved in close to you. His lips were so soft as they pressed against yours, barely ghosting your lips. You could have been convinced it hadn’t even happened.

He chewed his lip bashfully when he pulled back, looking at the floor.

“Sorry.” he whispered. “I uhm...lets go.”

He walked past you, leaving you staring in his wake.

Had that really just happened?

You brushed your fingers against your lips in disbelief. But your lips were tingling, it had definitely happened.

Eventually you followed him in confusion but there was no time to ask him about it. Hopefully you’d get a chance to later.

So for now you walked behind him, watching him adjust his cap, under the Californian silken sky.

***

Spencer was now eighteen and you were twenty, in your final year at Georgetown.

Spencer now had a doctorate in mathematics and was working towards one in chemistry. He kept talking about doing another doctorate in engineering when he was through.

He had grown even more so and was really starting to grow into his looks. He’d always been cute, but recently when you looked at him you saw a handsome man looking back at you.

Hanging out in your dorm that night it was hard to say how it started. One minute you’d been engrossed in a movie, your head on Spencer’s shoulder and the next you lips were pressed together, his tongue exploring your mouth.

He hadn’t kissed you again since his CalTech graduation and you didn’t know where this had come from now. But you did know you’d been thinking more inappropriate thoughts about your friend as of late and they were seemingly materialising in front of your eyes.

Spencer was a virgin, you were not. In that moment you wished he could have been your first time.

It was slow and gentle and Spencer was a bag of nerves the whole time. He groped at your body with seemingly no purpose other than to feel every part of you.

He didn’t last long, the feeling of being inside of you was too intense, too sensational. But it was nice. It felt right. It felt like home.

Afterwards he held you in his arms in your small single bed too nervous to look you in the eye. You stroked circles on his bare chest feeling the most content you’d felt in a long time.

You both stared up at the ceiling which you’d painted midnight blue and was peppered with glow in the dark stars.

“Spence?” You whispered softly.

“Yes Y/N?”

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

He exhaled and pulled you into him closer.

“I know.” He kissed the top of your head. “And I love you.”

You didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. You didn’t know if this was a one time thing or if this meant you were together now. You suppose it didn’t much matter right now. The only thing that mattered right now was Spencer holding you in his arms.

So for now you laid there together on your dorm room bed, under a mural of the silken sky.

***

He was twenty two and you were twenty four, and he’d just been offered a job at the FBI.

In Quantico, Virginia.

You were sure you’d spent your whole relationship out of state from one another. The past three years Spencer had been away while he worked on a second BA and then his third doctorate.

Since leaving college you’d stayed put in Vegas, getting a job as a curator at a local art gallery.

You saw Spencer when you could but it never seemed to be enough. At least not for you.

And then he’d dropped the bombshell about his job offer and told you he was moving to the other side of the country.

It had been hard enough over the years to maintain your relationship but you were sure this would be the death of you. And so you’d told Spencer it was time the two of you went your separate ways.

He’d tried to argue that you could make it work but you weren’t willing to find out. The four years you’d gotten had been amazing but all good things had to come to an end.

And maybe you and Spencer had never been destined. It had always been just a little too difficult. You’d finally thought once you were in the same state it would be easier, but he was leaving again.

It was hard but he supposed he understood. He would miss you with every fibre of his being but this job was too good for him to pass up.

You told him if you were meant to be, you’d find your way back to each other one day, although you weren’t sure you believed that.

You sat on the swing set in the desolate park together, hands entwined together as you swung back and forth on your separate swings.

He was leaving tomorrow. He was packed, his flight was booked and he had an apartment to go to in DC.

He was leaving and you were staying and it broke your heart.

“I’m gonna miss you Crash.” You squeezed his hand.

“I’m going to miss you too Y/N.”

It felt like the end of an era but an era that had never really had a chance to begin.

He was supposed to be your one true love, your greatest love story. But this story didn’t get a happy ending.

You swung back and forth into the night, just revelling in being with him one last time. You couldn’t think about tomorrow. Tomorrow was a world away.

So for now you swung, hand in hand, under the midnight silken sky.

***

You were twenty nine and you loved him, you really loved him.

He had turned your whole world upside down and made you feel things you’d never thought you’d feel again.

You loved him, you really did.

But he wasn’t Spencer Reid.

Maybe you’d gotten lucky and got to have two great loves of your life. Your life with Spencer was over long ago, it was only fair you were allowed to move on.

You wondered what twenty seven year old Spencer was doing with his life. Was he still at the BAU? Did he get a fourth doctorate? Was he happy?

God you hoped he was happy.

It was a small ceremony in front of your closest friends and family. No frills, no fuss. Just you and him being joined in matrimony.

He was a good guy, a nice guy; he treated you right and he loved you. At the end of the day, that’s all that mattered right?

So you didn’t get butterflies in your stomach when he kissed you. Maybe you didn’t go weak at the knees when he looked at you or felt like you were coming home when you made love. And so what if you’d felt all those things with Spencer? That didn’t matter, did it? It didn’t mean you didn’t love your new husband.

It was just a different kind of love. You weren’t in your teens falling in love for the first time. This was the kind of love you had when you grew up and got older. It didn’t mean it meant any less; that he meant any less to you.

He led you outside by your hand as your friends and family showered you in confetti. He turned and smiled at you brightly. He looked the happiest you’d ever seen him, you didn’t know if you could match his happiness.

You smiled back at him, probably not quite meeting his enthusiasm but if he noticed he didn’t say as much. It was only now that you looked down at the ring around your finger did it suddenly feel like a noose. You couldn’t allow yourself to think about how wrong it suddenly felt.

So for now you allowed your new husband to kiss you, under the Vegas Springtime silken sky.

***

He was thirty one and she was thirty. Her voice was like honey and he yearned to be able to hold her in his arms.

Her name was Maeve Donnovan and she had a stalker which was preventing them from meeting.

It was the first time Spencer had felt anything akin to love since you. He was sure he would never love again, you were the only person that could take that place in his heart.

And then had started having headaches and sought out the help of a geneticist and he started falling in love with her. For the first time in years you weren’t the first thing on his mind when he woke up in the morning. He didn’t spend all his waking hours pining over you.

Maeve was slowly but surely replacing you in his heart. And Spencer really needed that. He needed you finally gone from his mind.

“I think the stalker’s gone Spencer.” she’d told him that Sunday on the phone.

A huge weight had been lifted from her voice, he could hear the smile in it down the payphone. He couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure yeah.” she was smiling brightly. He knew she would have a beautiful smile.

“That’s great Maeve.” he smiled, gripping the phone in hands.

Did that mean what he thought it meant? Could they finally meet now? Have a normal relationship?

“I want to meet.” her words were rushed as though she weren’t sure she should be saying them. But he caught them.

She wanted to meet. She wanted to meet him.

He didn’t care what she looked like because she was already the most beautiful woman in the world to him. But what if she didn’t like him? What if he was too nerdy, what if his hair was too long and messy? What if she took one look at him and turned and ran?

He swallowed those nerves, trying to push them aside for another day.

So for now he smiled shakily down the phone, under the blustery DC silken sky.

***

You were forty and recently divorced. You knew on your wedding day it would end this way.

You loved your husband but you would never love him the way you loved Spencer. You managed ten years before you’d called it quits. He’d always known your heart didn’t fully belong to him.

You missed Spencer everyday and it was so unfair how he could still take up so much of your mind. It was a cruel world you supposed. Maybe you just weren’t supposed to be happy.

You’d had your happiness and it had been short lived. But you were thankful for the brief happiness you had been given. It was more than some people got you supposed.

He was thirty eight and home visiting his mother. He didn’t work full time at the BAU anymore since his reinstatement after he was incarcerated and lectured at Georgetown part time. It allowed him more free time to fly out to Vegas to see his mom.

Lecturing at Georgetown brought back so many memories for him. Georgetown was the place he had lost his virginity, the place he’d told you he loved you for the first time. Georgetown held so many pleasant memories for Spencer but they were all bittersweet.

After spending some time grieving Maeve after she died, his mind landed right back on you. It seemed he was always pining over someone. It wasn’t fair.

He was getting coffee on his way back to the hotel he was staying in when a familiar face materialised in front of him.

You weren’t there one moment and then suddenly you were, as though you had just appeared out of thin air.

You held your own coffee cup in your hand, your eyes wide and jaw slack. He watched you swallow a lump in your throat.

“Hi Crash.” you couldn’t help his old nickname tumble out from between your lips.

“Hi Y/N.” his voice croaked, still trying to comprehend how you could so suddenly be here in front of him after all these years of absence.

He felt like that twenty two year old swinging with you side by side in the park counting down the hours until he left you.

He felt like the sixteen year old young man who was falling hopelessly in love with you.

He felt like the eleven year old boy utterly grateful for you untying him from the flagpole.

“It’s been a long time.” you spoke, your mouth dry.

“A really long time.” he agreed with a stiff nod.

“Uhm...do you want to...coffee?” you ignored the fact you both had coffees in your hand.

“O-ok.” he nodded stiffly again.

After all these years you had so much to say to each other but no words would come out.

So for now you walked in silence down the Vegas street, under the cloud coated silken sky.

***

He was thirty nine years old when the explosion occurred. He’d thought it was just a concussion and didn’t pay it much mind.

You were forty one years old when you received the phone call from Penelope Garcia to inform you that Spencer was in the hospital.

They called it intracranial bleeding, his brain was swelling, bleeding; shutting down. They’d told you there was nothing they could do.

How cruel this life had been to you. It had stolen Spencer away from you when your relationship barely had a chance to blossom. It had brought him back into your life, for the two of you to fall back in love with each other only to have one final year together.

It had been the greatest year of your life and you had to try and focus on that as David Rossi read his eulogy.

He spoke all about Spencer’s life, the life you’d barely gotten to be a part of. Hearing it second hand and not from Spencer’s lips was tragic enough in itself.

You didn’t really feel as though you belonged here. You didn’t know him the way his team members knew him. You felt like a stranger in this place now.

You’d jumped at moving to DC when you and Spencer reunited because there was no way you were making the same mistake twice and letting him get away again. But now DC seemed like a suddenly very lonely place.

As the brilliant man you knew and loved was being lowered into the ground, his final resting place, the heavens opened. The rain cascaded down from the sky and you couldn’t help but think how apt it was on this already bleak day.

Garcia came to you at his graveside when the ceremony was over. The rain disguised your tears. She nudged you with her shoulder, her own tears falling.

“The world is going to be a very different place without boy genius in it.” she sobbed as she spoke.

“You’re telling me.” you chewed your lip, your eyes locked on his headstone as you spoke.

“He loved you know? He always loved you.”

You nodded statically not looking at the other woman. You knew he loved you, that much you were sure of. You only wished you had more time.

Maybe if you’d know what life had in store you would have come with him to DC all those years ago. Had you known you didn’t have all the time in the world, that your love only had a finite number of days you might have been more inclined to cling to them.

That was hindsight though you supposed and dwelling on it didn’t change the past. What was done was done. You didn’t go to DC with him, you stayed in Vegas. You spent years pining over him only to have the universe throw you back together again.

And then he’d been snatched from you once more in the most horrific way. And now it was over for good.

“Come on Y/N, you’ll catch a cold if you stay out here.” Garcia placed a gentle arm on your shoulder.

“I’ll be right there.” you told her, still not looking away from where the love of your life was buried beneath the dirt.

You heard her leave as more tears started to fall from your eyes. Your knees gave out and you fell to the grass in the rain.

You sobbed into your hands, cursing life for being so unyielding. But there was nothing you could do about it. The wheels had been set into motion long before you and Spencer had even met. This was always the way things were going to end up. Fate was a cruel mistress.

And so you knelt in the dirt sobbing next to the grave of the love of your life, under the grey, weeping silken sky.

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typical-simplelove · 3 years

Text

Napping at Lake Tahoe (T. Jost)

A/n: This is what I get when I wake up at midnight for the Lake Tahoe game. Also, we’re just going to ignore the fact that COVID restrictions mean that two people can’t be in the same room without a mask. Actually, just pretend that there is not COVID pandemic. I also don’t know if yn’s job exists, but oh well! It’s fiction. Enjoy!!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none that I can think of!

Enjoy!!

UPDATE: I wrote a part two! Find it here

Vegas Golden Knights and Colorado Avalanche NHL Outdoors at Lake Tahoe game is postponed to 9 PST/12am EST.

So, it was official. The game was postponed. Does this mean you still have to do work? You were a team assistant who was responsible for dealing with the ins and outs of the needs of the team and team officials during road trips. You weren’t sure if this delay meant that you still had to do your job or delay it, too. It doesn’t hurt to work, right?

You walk down the hall heading to the business center to print out the paperwork you needed.

“Yn? What are you doing?” someone calls you. You turn to the person calling you and you feel the warmth slowly rush to your face. Tyson Jost, player for the Avs, who you work for. Oh, and you happen to have a minor crush on Tyson. Convenient, right? “You’re going in the opposite direction from our hotel rooms.”

“Oh, um, yeah,” you stumble over your words. “Just working.”

Tyson looks at you with a curious eye and you melt a bit. “You know the game was delayed, right?”

“Well, yes, I know that.”

“Shouldn’t you not have to work, then?”

“I think that only refers to players, Tyson.”

“I mean, you’re also here in the hall.”

“Well, haha, very funny.”

“I’ll leave you to whatever you’re doing then, and I’m going to get back to work.” You turn around and begin to walk away.

“Yn, wait.”

You smile softly and turn around. “Yes, Tyson?”

He extends his hand. “Come with me.”

You nervously glance at his extended hand. “What?”

“You obviously don’t have to work for quite a bit considering the fact that the game isn’t happening right now. So, why don’t you nap with me?”

The heat creeps to your face and you look up to meet Tyson’s eyes. “Seriously?”

“Come on, it’s not like you have anything else to do, right?”

You hesitate before taking Tyson’s hand. “No funny business, okay?”

“I promise. No funny business.”

Tyson begins leading you to his hotel room, and you immediately want to change your mind. However, Tyson squeezes your hand reassuringly, and your nerves skyrocket but not for a similar reason. Tyson, your secret crush, was holding your hand. Your thoughts were going crazy, but who wouldn't? Thankfully, Tyson speaks and ends the endless cycle of thoughts going through your head, for the moment.

“This is my room,” Tyson says as he unlocks the door with his room key. He leads you in and drops your hand. You stand awkwardly in the room not sure what to do. You fidget with your hands trying to ease the awkwardness you felt. Tyson looks at you and laughs softly. “You don’t have to just stand there. You can come in, Yn.”

You nod and take a dramatic step forward.

Tyson laughs at you and shakes his head playfully. He pulls out a shirt and two pairs of sweats from his suitcase. “Here, you can borrow a pair of sweats and a shirt. You can change in the washroom.”

“You know,” you begin. “I can just go and grab something from my room.”

“Yeah, you could, but I don’t think you’d come back.”

This was news to your ears. Did Tyson desperately want to nap with you? You raise your eyebrow at him and Tyson blushes. “You really want to nap with me, don’t you?”

“Oh, shut up. The washroom is over there.”

You giggle and head into the washroom. You examine the clothes Tyson gave you and smile. It’s Tyson’s clothes (duh); he gave you one of his shirts and sweats, like a boyfriend would. You change and walk out of the washroom. You look up and see Tyson’s bear back. You suck in your breath both sharply and audibly, and Tyson turns around.

“Oh, sorry Tyson,” you apologize. “I didn’t realize you weren’t done changing.”

Tyson smiles at you. “Don’t worry. Actually, if it’s okay with you, I’m not going to wear a shirt.”

What were you going to say, no? You definitely weren’t going to do that. “Oh, it's fine.”

“Perfect,” Tyson says and an awkward silence fills the room. You shuffle nervously where you stand and begin folding your work clothes. Tyson is carefully watching you. You look up and meet his eye, and he looks away bashfully.

“What do we do now?” you ask.

“Oh, um, nap?” Tyson suggests.

“I mean, that’s the reason I’m here, no?”

Tyson blushes and you laugh cheekily. “Right. Let me just set an alarm.”

You nod and watch Tyson. You could do this, right? You were going to be able to sleep in a bed with Tyson and not fall for him more, right? So much for your spiraling thoughts.

“Ready?” Tyson asks as he pulls back the sheets.

You nod. Tyson gets in first and lies on his side facing the door. You guess this is your turn to get in? You get in and lie on your back. Were you supposed to cuddle into him? As much as you wanted to, you weren’t if that was appropriate. You turn to your side so you’re matching Tyson’s posture, and he nervously scratches his head.

“Can I cuddle you?” Tyson asks. He didn’t want to overstep the boundaries.

You smile and feel the warmth reach your face. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Tyson releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding and wraps his arm around your middle. You move back into him and you rest your back against Tyson’s front. You sigh softly, and you feel your eyes drift closed.

The last thing you remember is Tyson kissing the back of your head and whispering, “goodnight, Yn.”

. . .

“Yo, Tyson, ready for a walk before the team meeting?” JT says as he bursts into the hotel room an hour and a half later. When he receives no response, he walks further into the room and smiles at the sight he sees: you curled into Tyson’s side.

JT realizes that he is a bit early and decides to let the two of you continue your nap. It’s only a matter of time before you both figure out how you feel, right?

. . .

About twenty minutes after JT’s outburst, Tyson’s alarm goes off, and you and Tyson slowly wake.

“Morning,” Tyson mumbles into your neck.

“More like afternoon,” you reply and Tyson laughs. You slowly get up and Tyson sighs at the loss of contact. That didn’t mean anything, right?

“I should get you to nap with me before all of my games. I slept like a baby.” Tyson tells you and your face warms at his comments.

“Let me just change, and I’ll be out of your hair,” you tell Tyson and walk into the washroom. “Don’t forget, you have a team meeting in about half an hour.”

“Right, thank you.”

You nod and smile and retreat into the washroom. You change and fold the clothes and leave them sitting on the counter. You walk out of the washroom and put on your shoes. “Thanks for this, Tyson.”

“I should be thanking you, Yn.”

“How about a mutual thanking, then?”

You look at Tyson and smile. “Sure, mutual thanking, then.” You walk over to him, put your hand on his shoulder and kiss Tyson softly on the cheek. “Good luck tonight.”

Tyson just nods as he is too awestruck to respond. You laugh softly and walk out of his room and head to yours. Tyson watches as you leave and places his hand on where you just kissed him. It was burning. Just a small peck was enough to leave Tyson's face burning and emotions in a frenzy. You were going to be the death of him.

. . .

As Tyson walks to the banquet hall, he is still reeling from the small peck you gave him. Tyson is also wondering if the blush that was on his face is still there.

Tyson walks into the banquet hall and the room goes silent. He looks up to see everyone staring at him. Tyson glances at JT who only gives him a smirk.

"How was your nap, Josty?" JT asks.

"Good, why?"

"Who'd you nap with?" Cale asks with humor in his voice.

Tyson immediately knows that he's been caught. "I know that you know, so I'm not going to answer that."

"So, does this mean that the two of you are finally a thing?" Ryan asks with hope. The whole team is getting tired of waiting for the two of you to get together.

Tyson glances up and blushes. "No, it doesn't, but hopefully it means soon?"

"Attach boy, Josty," JT commends. "Do you like her?"

Tyson just blushes, and the room erupts in cheers.

Yeah, Tyson liked you. He also hoped that this was the first of many pregame naps that the two of you shared.

part two

#tyson jost #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost x reader #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #colorado avalanche #colorado avalanche imagine #claudia writes

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jessikahathaway · 3 years

Text

Vegas, Baby - Part I

Pairing: Kim Taehyung X Reader

Genre: Mafia!AU, Romance, Smut (Slow Burn)

Warnings: Explicit Language.

Summary: After four years, you have been let go from your job. Taking a chance you head to Vegas to make the best of a bad situation. A situation that only gets worse.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, but we are going to have to let you go,” your boss’ monotone voice echoed in your ears.

Four years of your life, wasted. Not that you particularly enjoyed the job, but it paid your bills. And that was what counted at the end of the day. Now, what were you going to do? Your parents had already said your room was still yours if you needed to move back in. It was sweet of them really, but you didn’t want to move back in with them, you wanted your freedom and you wanted to be on your own. But what other options did you have without losing everything?

“Your separation pay will come through at the end of the week,” your ears perked up. The separation pay would be a nice amount no doubt. This financial firm didn’t come without its perks.

“Very good, sir. Thank you for four years,” you said, trying not to let the bitter tone enter into your voice.

“You can show yourself out. See that your desk is cleaned out by the end of the shift,” he said, turning his back to you.

Quickly you let yourself out, heading toward your desk.

“So, what did dickhead want?” Namjoon, your table mate, asked.

“I got canned,” you whispered, gathering up your stuff.

“What? No way, let me go in there,” he said, preparing to stand up before you stopped him.

“Joon, honestly, it’s fine. I’ve wanted to quit for a while anyways,” you confess.

“But, Y/N, it’s bullshit that they fire you. If that bimbo in the receptionist office can keep her job, you can too,” he said, fuming.

“Joon, seriously, I’m fine. Do you see me crying over it?” You asked, smiling.

“You’re sure you’re good?”

“I’m positive,” you answered.

“Okay, if you say so,” he responded.

“Just let me get my shit and blow this popsicle stand,” you said, grinning at him.

“Whatever you say, Y/N, I’ll miss you here,” he said, sitting back in his seat.

“You’re acting like you don’t have my number or something,” you said, laughing lightly.

“It won’t be the same without you here to annoy,” he said, giving you a dimpled smile.

“I know, you like to do that a lot,” you remarked, throwing a good natured glare his way.

“Well, I’m good at what I do then,” Namjoon stated.

“Which should be working, don’t need you following me out the door,” you said, sighing as you collected the remainder of your important items.

The rest could be left here, consider it a gift to the next unfortunate person who has to work here.

“Hey, text me okay?” He said, giving you a little wave.

“Will do, see ya Joon,” you said, returning the wave before heading towards the door.

—

Two weeks later you found yourself on a plane heading to Las Vegas.

How did you find yourself here? Well, it was a rather impulsive decision. But you and Namjoon had decided to take the rest of your earnings from your job and make a vacation out of it. You were taking a week in the US and spending time in Vegas to get a little wind in your sails before moving back in with your parents.

Did that take what little wind you had in your sails out? Maybe, but that's besides the point. This was your way of giving the middle finger to your old job by blowing your money on something less than recommended.

A trip to Vegas was exactly your soul needed after four years of behaving like a good little desk minion. Years of filing and coffee runs, all going to be blown to smithereens. Thank God for that too. You didn’t want to spend another minute thinking about what had been, only what was going to be the best week of your life.

You had a couple friends that lived in the states, and you were going to meet up with them after landing and unpacking at your hotel. Jessi and Lily were waiting anxiously for you to arrive.

Jessi: Bitch, I can’t believe you’re actually coming. After all these years of begging, pleading and what not, you’re dumbass comes here on a whim. But, still excited to see youuu xoxoxo.

YOU: R00D. I was working and busy with trying to further my career that capped off at a measly management position. Where the hell were you m8?

LILBITCH: Okay, it is like midnight here so can yall quit your yapping and do the sleep sleep? K thnx.

YOU: Sorry Lily, Jessi decided to be a boob in the group chat. Rest young one.

Jessi: ExCuSE? I Did NO SucH thInG?!?

YOU: You did! And are still doing it!

LILBITCH: Can yall argue in a separate thread plz?

Jessi: Nah, bugging you is wayyyy more entertaining.

LILBITCH: I pick the worst friends. Consider yourself disowned.

YOU: Children children, I come to bring peace to all four nations.

Jessi: The only thing you bring peace to is a party, and that’s what we’re going to fix while you’re here. You are going to get wasted and you are gonna like iiitttt >:(

LILBITCH: Jessi what are you even doing up?

Jessi: Sleep is for the weak.

LILBITCH: No, it’s for people. You know, who aren’t fucked in the head??

YOU: We gonna ignore the fact that she practically said I don’t know how to party?

Jessi: I am perfectly sane!

LILBITCH: Yeah right....

YOU: So we are ignoring that deep insult? K great.

Jessi: Sorry Y/N, it’s just been so long since we’ve all been together like this I’m so excited. I’m gonna put you in my man stealing clothes and you’re gonna get dicked down while you’re here! Yasssss, I love my plan already.

YOU: THERE IS A CHILD IN HERE!

LILBITCH: Woman we’re both older than you. You’re the child. Who doesn’t know how to party apparently.

YOU: And here I was thinking you loved me Lily. This hurts. This hurts deep.

Jessi: So, slutty clothes shopping here we come???

LILBITCH: I read the word shopping and I’m so down.

Jessi: yAS

YOU: Some of my dearest friends. Insult me then demand to dress me like a blowup doll? WTF??

Jessi: Not a blow up doll! Is there a tamer version of those Lily?

LILBITCH: I mean not really.

Jessi: You’ll be the sexiest blow up doll out there!

YOU: I don’t like this.

“Ladies and gentlemen we are beginning our ascent. Please silent all devices and buckle up! Thank you for choosing Korean Airways! Enjoy your flight!”

YOU: Well you two can think of more diabolical ways to get me laid and I will be none the wiser. See you girls soon. Love ya! <3

You shut your phone off and let your head rest against the cushioned seat. Letting the rumble of the cabin lull you to sleep.

“Y/N!!!!” Jessi squealed as she came running for you.

You’d slept most of the plane ride, but now you were stiff in the joints and her frame colliding with your own sent the two of you tumbling.

“Oof, Jess! What the hell man, you’re gonna break me,” you whined as the older woman started squeezing the daylights out of you.

“Alright pda couple break it up,” Lily’s voice filled your ears.

You stood quickly and brought her into a hug too.

“It’s good to see you,” you whispered, rubbing her back as you separated.

“Good to see you too, have you lost weight?” she asked, making you spin around for confirmation.

“Maybe maybe not, I wasn’t exactly eating the healthiest diet when I was at the firm so, maybe I just gained it in different places,” you laughed.

There was a prickle on the back of your neck. Your guard went up and you looked around. But didn’t see anyone staring. Although, you were uncomfortable.

“Come on, let’s get going. We have a lot to do before tonight!” Jessi said, practically dragging you out of the terminal.

“Jesus Jessi I have ligaments and bones, those things can break you know!” you whined, but she didn’t relent.

Climbing into the car you still felt a chill of fear run up your spine. But didn’t let it bother you. Right now was about you and your friends, not being a little paranoid after a long flight. Plus, you were abroad, there were tons of people around and that was more than likely throwing your radar off a little bit.

“Okay, mall here we come!” Lily said with excitement in her voice.

“But what about heading to the hotel to unpack?” you asked.

“Oh, we cancelled your reservation. Did you know you saved almost a thousand bucks if you stay with me?” Jessi said.

“Huh? What do you mean? Guys I don’t wanna burden you!”

“You aren’t going to be, our most recent roommate has vacated the room and left it in perfect condition. It can be yours if you decide you wanna stay for a while?” Lily suggested with a brow wiggle.

“You two are impossible,” you complained, leaning your head against the window.

“Impossibly smart,” Jessi narked.

You sighed as you watched the cityscape pass you by. Jessi and Lily chatted about nothing it seemed like, but it was comforting that you all fell back into rhythm so quickly after so long of not seeing one another. It made your heart squeeze painfully at the thought of being apart. But you were here now, and that’s what mattered.

Lily was telling you all about her work at the little cafe she co-owns. She handles the customer service end while her partner handles the more... businessy aspect.

“And then one of my servers swears she saw a ghost of an old lady in the back room. The building used to be a house but now we have renovated it and turned it into the cafe like I’ve told you. But, I looked into it. And a lady did actually die in there in the fifties. How fucking crazy is that!? And, get this, if it hadn’t happened within the last ten years, the realtors don’t have to divulge that information. How fucked,” Lily sighs.

Jessi pulls into the parking lot of a large shopping center and you girls all get out, wallets at the ready.

Linking arms with them you smiled brightly and started walking towards the door.

About an hour later, your feet were killing you and you hadn’t even tried anything on, much to the dismay of your friends.

“Come on Y/N, you need to at least try one thing on in this next shop,” Jessi pleaded.

“Why? I packed clothes you know?” you said,

“And knowing you they won’t be attention getting enough,” Lily commented.

“Rude, you don’t know what I got,” you scoffed.

Lily rolled her eyes and picked you up off the comfortable bench you had settled down on and now you were being dragged off of it like a leech of an arm.

“Come on Y/N, I have the perfect place in mind,” Jessi announced, leading the pack towards another stylish little boutique.

“If I try something on will you guys quit pestering me?” you whined out.

“Maybe, depends on if we like it or not,” Lily’s voice rang in your ear.

Somewhere, deep down, you knew letting them drag you to a shopping mall was a bad idea. But you hadn’t realized how bad until they had you dressed to the gills in sequins, sparkles and everything glittery.

“Guys this stuff is itchy!” you said, itching your thigh, that was barely covered, for emphasis.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you look great! It really shows off those curves!” Jessi complimented, spinning you around.

“I brought the same style of dress, but in a popping red color. It will compliment her eyes for certain,” the lovely assistant of the boutique said. Of course they were trained to reach for the priciest piece they had, and tell you it would look good on you. But hey, A for effort.

“Oooh! Y/N, try it on, try it on!” Jessi yelled.

“Shh, we are in a store!” you scolded.

“God you’re worse than my mom,” Jessi rolled her eyes.

“Am not. I’m just trying to contain my two four year olds!” you said exasperated.

“As the youngest isn’t it your responsibility to be rambunctious. Getting into all kinds of trouble?”

“That’s what we’re here for Lily, she’s had a stick up her ass for too long called adulting,” Jessi teased.

“Remind me why I’m friends with you again?” you asked, teasing right back.

Jessi just laughed and went to go peruse the racks again. Lily snuggled up beside you and wrapped her arms around you tightly.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

Smiling you gave her a tight hug. “I missed you guys too.”

Jessi came back with a sexy white number that has cut off sleeves that draped off your shoulder elegantly and it was a little longer than the others they’d thrown you in during that afternoon.

Seeing your eyes looking at the dress with interest, Jessi knew she had won.

“Wanna know the best part?” Jessi asked, raising a perfectly sculpted brow in your direction.

“What?” you asked.

“It was on the sale rack!” she smirked.

“Okay give it here,” you said, holding your hand out. Jessi smiled and plopped the dress in your hand without hesitation.

You shuffled into the dressing room and pulled the garment on. You looked at yourself in the mirror and almost fell over. This wasn’t you. The girl looking back at you was a beautiful woman, someone with poise and elegance. Or was that what the dress conveyed? Because you felt almost empowered in this dress...

“Okay, show us what you got!” the girls said, waiting for you outside the dressing room.

Stepping down onto the floor the girls were silent.

“Well?” you asked, feeling a little self conscious at all their staring.

“Y/N, if you don’t buy that dress then I will and force you into it tonight,” Jessi said, still staring.

“Does it look alright?’ you asked, tugging at the fabric.

“Yes now quit fidgeting! We’re trying to figure out what shoes, make up and hair we need to do,” Lily said, settling your hands at your side.

“I think a red pump,” Jessi said, running off to one side of the store.

“And a red lip to match!” Lily echoed.

“I love the way you think,” Jessi said back.

You looked down at your bare feet on the floor and sighed.

“I don’t know, should we go clubbing tonight? I just got here and kinda want to-”

“Not bail out on us and have the fun you wanted to have by coming to Vegas?” Lily offered.

You sighed and rubbed your face. Jessi came back with a crimson red pair of heels that already made your feet hurt. But you decided to quiet down and just enjoy the time you had with your friends. It was so nice to bicker with them and laugh, it really made your heart soar to be here with them. Even if they were forcing you into some uncomfortable shoes. At their cores, they were great girls, and you were so lucky to have them in your life.

“There, see how it lengthens your legs?” Jessi pointed out.

“See how it will destroy my ankles?” you said back.

They just laughed and you guys took everything to the checkout counter. The clerk cashed you out and you ladies were on your way.

“I’m so glad you bought the shoes too! They look so killer with that dress, and we’re going to make you the prettiest thing at the club tonight! Not that you need much help,” Lily smirked, linking her arms with yours.

You shoved her a little but walked down the hall with her happily.

Until you felt that chill that had run down your spine earlier, reappear. You stopped in your tracks and turned, certain that someone was watching you. But no one was there... It made unease churn in your stomach. Jessi seemed to notice your hesitation and came over beside you.

“Something wrong?” she asked, trying to look in a similar direction as you.

“No no, it’s nothing. I’m fine,” you smiled weakly, going to move forward.

“If you’re sure,” Lily answered, following close behind.

“Yeah,” you confirmed.

After that you only went to one more department store and found nothing of interest, so you guys decided to call it. Walking back to the car, Jessi ran ahead to make sure that it was unlocked. Lily and you walked at an even pace, just enjoying each other's company.

Loading everything into the car you took off down the road for Jessi and Lily’s house.

Slowly, the sensation of being watched faded from your mind. And the three of you went back to your bickering and teasing.

Finally, you pulled into the driveway.

Jessi and Lily were quick to help you with your luggage, making sure everything got into the spare bedroom. And then, the work began.

“Babe, we love you, but you gotta take a shower,” Jessi said, pinching her nose for effect.

“Rude, I literally took a shower before I boarded the plane,” you told them.

“Yeah, and you smell like plane and food court, so go. Cleanse thyself,” Lily commented, looking at her phone.

“Fine fine,” you agreed, heading towards the bathroom.

Jessi handed you the dress and some undergarments and went into the kitchen.

The hot water felt heavenly on your body, washing off the grim of travel and shopping. It was nice. The foamy soap on your head invigorating you. You shaved every part of your body known to man, and woman to be honest.

But when you stepped out of the shower. Instead of the normal underwear you had picked out, was something else.

Sorry, but we had to burn those granny panties. Wear this instead! We bought them today while you were busy being one with the bench. We know they’ll fit you!

Jessi & Lily

“Those little shits!” you exclaimed, looking down in despair at your underwear option now.

Pink lacy panties were set on the bathroom counter. How did you not even hear them come in!? You looked at the bra and were certain that you’d be able to see a nipple through the lace that was supposed to be covering your shit. But apparently the quest to get you laid was a serious endeavor in their minds. So, to humor them, you put on the garments. That, in fact, fit perfectly.

“Those creeps,” you shuddered, wondering how your friends had known your exact size.

Pulling on the dress you bought earlier, you marveled at yourself in the mirror. You looked really good. And just as before, you felt as if you could conquer the world, in just this dress. But, you knew the only thing you’d conquer was maybe a bar scene, which would work. For now.

Walking out you found the nasty culprits of the underwear heist sitting around a vanity full of makeup.

“Wanna tell me why I’m wearing underwear that barely covers anything?” you said, venom in your tone.

“Because you put it on,” Jessi said, with a smirk.

“You guys are so fucking nosy,” you whined, throwing your headback in a mock tantrum.

“We aren’t nosy enough, when was the last time you got dicked down?” Jessi asked, suddenly serious.

Scandalized you made a squeak of discomfort.

“Wh-Why the sudden curiosity??” you asked.

“Because, we gotta know how out of practice you are,” Lily said, as if it were obvious.

“I’m not out of practice!” you shrieked.

“So it was recently then?” Jessi smiled.

“No! I mean-shut up!” you cried.

“When was the last time Y/N,” Lily said calmly.

“Three years ago,” you huffed, crossing your arms in defense.

The two girls almost choked.

“THREE YEARS!?” Jessi screamed.

“I’m right here, there’s no need to scream,” you said.

“BUT Y/N, THAT’S THREE YEARS,” Jessi yelled again.

“I can tell time, Jessi,” you commented.

“How? You’re practically a nun,” Lily snorted.

“I am not!” you defended.

“Sweetheart, listen we are doing this out of love,” Jessi shushed you, cradling you to her chest. “We will help you. Sit down.”

“This is all very offensive, just so ya’ll know,” you said, pointing to them with an accusing finger.

“Shut up and sit down,” Lily said, grabbing her hair appliances.

You settled into silence, letting the girls do whatever they wanted to you. You found it was easier this way than fighting with them the whole time. As much as you loved them, these girls were bossy and pushy. But, you wouldn’t have them any other way. They helped even you out, making sure you got out there and did have some fun in your life.

Lily was in the process of doing your hair and styling it the way she thought would work the best, while Jessi was deeply focused on doing your makeup. You saw the crimson colored lipstick come out and knew it was as Lily recommended earlier.

Jessi painted it on your lips with a precision that was awe inspiring. You just stayed still and let them continue their work. Enjoying the transformation happening before your eyes. Before, you were a nervous little office worker. Now, you were a girl on a mission. What mission was still to be decided, but it made you feel powerful. Not saying that you didn’t feel powerful without it, but it was nice to get dressed up every once in a while and to feel sexy.

Lily put down the hair products and smiled at her work.

“You look fucking hot,” she pointed out.

“Don’t make her smile. I'm working on the concealer around her lips,” Jessi whined.

“Sorry sorry, just, she’s really beautiful,” Lily smiled.

“We been knew,” Jessi smirked.

“Right right,” Lily said, going to gather the tights and shoes.

“Thanks Jessi,” you said as you stood up, stretching lightly.

You felt a light smack to your butt and you smiled back at her.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” she giggled.

“Alright ladies, we need to make a game plan for the night!” Lily announced as she walked back into the room.

“What do you mean?” you asked, raising a brow at her.

“Who wants to get laid, who wants to wing woman and who wants to be the sober one,” Lily said.

“Well, Y/N is the getting laid one,” Jessi confirmed.

“Did you ask Y/N if she wants to get laid?” you asked, pointing to yourself.

“Fine, Y/N, do you not want me to find you a fine specimen of man that could knock your socks off in the bedroom?” Jessi said.

“Well... I mean, it’s not that I don’t want that but...”

“But what?” Lily asked, coming to sit next to Jessi.

“I’m shy, I don’t really attract people. I’m more of a hang out in the corner until I’m drunk enough to approach someone type of gal,” you said, biting your lip.

“Don’t ruin my hard work,” Jessi warned.

“Sorry, nervous habit,” you answered, stopping the action quickly.

“Y/N, it’s all up to you, we don’t really have to go out but I thought this is what you came here for? To let loose and have some fun before moving back with your parents. But if all you wanna do is have a girls week then we can do that too... But, honestly you look amazing and any guy would be lucky to get with you,” Lily said.

You thought it over.

This is what you came here for. To let loose like she said. But now that it was happening you were retreating into office worker Y/N, not the badass you wanted to be for at least a week. So, you didn’t see the harm in getting laid. Honestly, it might get some of the pent up stress out of your system, and that sounded great.

“No, you guys are right. I wanted to come here to be free for a while. What’s the point in hiding in the corner when I can be the center of attention for once in my life. I say, let’s do it,” you said, confident.

Jessi squealed excitedly and clapped her hands.

“Yes! We are gonna be the best wingwomen you’ve ever seen Y/N! We’ll pick a great one out for you,” she said.

“She also has eyes, Jessi, she might find the one,” Lily chastised.

“Yes, yes sorry,” she said, shuffling through her closet in disinterest.

“Okay, so Jessi and I are both going to be wingwoman. It’ll be a shared effort so we can pick the best guy,” Lily announced.

“Right,” you said.

“But like Lily said, you have eyes. If you find someone you’re vibing with, let us know!” Jessi said back.

“Okay,” you agreed.

The rest of the evening was spent making out rules and exchanging safety measures to make sure no one got hurt or left behind.

This was going to be very fun.

#Kim Taehyung #BTS #Bangtan #Ficswithluv #Jesskia Hathaway #BTS fanfic #BTS Mafia Au #Mafia Au #Smut #V #Taehyung #V smut #Taehyung smut #slow burn

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snelbz · 4 years

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What Happens in Vegas... {2}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Feyre x Rhysand, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Summary: For Feyre’s twenty-first birthday, her best friend took her to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun she could never forget. She’s going home with a lot more than memories.

@snelbz / @tacmc collab

What Happens In Vegas Masterlist

Fanfiction Masterlist

My Ask Box

I still had a massive headache, but it didn’t seem to be near as painful as anything my father was feeling. The afternoon, and well into the evening, had been pure chaos. After I had come clean about why reporters were constantly flooding the front lawn of my childhood home, I had gotten a talking-to that made me feel like I was fifteen and caught sneaking out of the house.

Again.

And after the scolding had come to an end, we were all just exhausted, and trying to wait it out. The police had shown up on multiple occasions, clearing the yard of people and cameras, but it didn’t stop them from coming back, or from reporters knocking on the front door, asking questions. The landline had rang so much that my father had unplugged it, which should have been done years ago, considering how far the modern world had come, but I could tell it caused him physical pain.

“Dad-.”

“You should go to bed,” he said, quietly, as he rubbed his temples from where he sat on the couch. “It’s nearly midnight.”

“I’m not tired,” I mumbled, although it was a complete lie. Yet, I couldn’t imagine going to sleep.

His cell rang, cutting off anything else that he would have said. At this time of night, a call on his cell couldn’t be a good thing.

“Hello?”

I heard the faintest of voices on the other line.

His eyes snapped up, pinning me to the spot where I sat. I felt my blood run cold.

“No, sir, I think we all completely understand under the circumstances.”

No.

No, no, no.

“Yes. Yes, sir, you as well.”

He slowly pulled the phone from his ear and ended the call. “That was Beron Vanserra. Your internship has been cancelled.”

My eyes fell shut as my head fell back and rested against the plush couch.

His voice wasn’t angry, and that made it all the more worse. He was disappointed. “He feels that, considering your current situation, it could bring the wrong kind of attention to his business.”

A banging on the door interrupted our conversation, but by this point a banging on the door was white noise. There’d been people banging on the front door all day.

It wasn’t just paparazzi out front, there were also tons and tons of fans. People were crying and screaming and holding signs. They ranged from proclamations of love for Rhys to depicting my death in graphic detail.

Apparently, later they were planning on burning me in effigy.

Which was fine, I wanted to die.

A voice came from the other side of the front door. “Ms. Archeron?”

We ignored the voice since, once again, people had been screaming my name from the other side all day. However, this voice wasn’t screaming. It was calm, cool and collected.

“Ms. Archeron, Rhys sent me.”

I blinked and made my way to the door, fearing my mother would hear me hollering and wake up from her Xanax induced sleep.

“I’m calling the cops again,” I announced.

He quickly said, “Please, ma’am. I have him on the phone.” I paused. “Just crack open the door and I’ll hand you the phone.”

Yeah, right. “Why should I believe you?”

Murmuring from the other side of the door. “He said to ask you about his t-shirt.”

I blushed. I’d washed his vomit covered shirt before we left Vegas and it was still damp in my backpack by the door.

I shook my head, though I knew he couldn’t see me. “Not good enough.”

More murmuring. “He said he still didn’t want the… excuse me, miss… ‘fucking ring’ back.”

Yep. That sounded like my darling husband.

I crouched down and unlocked the mail slot in the door and flicked the door open.

A sleek black phone was handed through.

I sighed as I took it. “Hello?”

I was met with loud music and endless voices in the background of wherever Rhysand was. Unlike myself, it seems our marriage hadn’t thrown him off his typical routine.

“I hear you’ve gotten famous overnight,” a familiar voice purred. “You may want to lay low for a while until this all blows over. Trust me. So, I sent Kallias to come and get you.”

I blinked, not sure if I was hearing correctly. “Sorry, what?”

“Kallias, the guy on your front porch? He’s head of my security team. He came to bring you back to me. And we’ll, uh, figure something out when you get here.”

I laughed, not only because it was a ridiculous request, but because my life was a running, never ending, unimaginable, cosmic joke, and I was having an incredibly difficult time making sense of it.

“You want me...to be brought...to you?” I said, slowly, making sure I had it right. “I don’t know you, much less where you even are.”

“Look,” he began, with a sigh. “There’s divorce papers and shit to sign anyway. You may as well come here so we can get this all taken care of.”

As much as I really, really didn’t want to go, I wanted to get this fiasco away from my parents house and their poor front lawn. I also wasn’t looking forward to my mother waking up and having to tell her I’d lost my internship.

My five year plan went out the window. Hell, so did my ten year plan. It was pretty contingent on the five year plan and that was contingent on this internship. But I could see a new plan forming.

I’d worked at the same art supply store for years. Painting was my true passion, the thing I yearned for more time for. I never seemed to have it, and without this internship, my architectural dreams were over. I could pick up more shifts at the store, maybe come on full-time. Alis would love that.

She wouldn’t, however, love the horde of crazed fans I’d bring to her quaint, little shop.

He sighed, and even over the phone, I could feel his eyes roll. “What else are you going to do? Hide in your parents’ house?”

I stood up straight. “How do you know I’m at my parents’?”

“Because I’m watching the live stream on TMZ.”

Decision made. I had to get out of here for the sake of my parents.

I unlocked the door, even as my father said, “Feyre, don’t.”

I opened the door a hair, just enough for Kallias to see it was open and slip in. He did so and shut the door behind him quickly.

Rhysand remained quiet on the other side of the line as I looked at my father and said, “I’ll be back, but when everything calms down. You and mom don’t need this, and I need to take care of some stuff.”

Rhysand’s hum reminded me that he was, in fact, listening yet to our conversation.

“You can’t trust him,” my father snapped, begging me to see reason. “You don’t even know him! Look at all that’s happened. This is not what you need.”

I stared at him for a moment, suddenly becoming sad. I had no idea what I needed.

“I’ll be back,” I repeated, and Rhysand had become quiet, because he had lost interest or because he was so fascinated with my father and I’s vulnerability, I didn’t know.

“We can handle this here,” he said, trying to reason with me. “You’ll need your own lawyers and-.”

“It’s not like I have anything to lose, dad,” I breathed. Which, I didn’t. My poor husband was inheriting nearly fifty thousand in student loans. I’m sure he’d appreciate that.

A change in his face told me he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

“I’ll be alright, I promise,” I said, not caring if Rhys was still listening or not. I couldn’t really keep that promise because I had no idea what I was walking into.

He shook his head, but said “I think you’re doing the wrong thing. But call me if you need anything. If you want to come home, I’ll organize a flight for you right away.”

I nodded. “I will.”

“I’m serious,” he rested a hand on my shoulder and looked in my eyes, the eyes I’d inherited from my mother. “Call me and I’ll get you home.”

“Feyre?”

So apparently he had been listening. “Yeah?”

Rhys said, “Give the phone back to Kal.”

I did as I was told and the man watched me with eyes the color of fractured ice. I could hear Rhys rattling off instructions, Kallias dutifully nodding and saying yes, sir where appropriate. And then he hung up.

“Ms. Archeron, the car is waiting.”

I nodded and glanced back to my father.

“One call,” was all he said. Instead of replying, I threw my arms around him and held him tightly.

His arms came around me, but then he cleared his throat and stepped back.

Moment over. Got it.

I picked up my backpack and turned around to face Kallias and the front door. He was patiently waiting.

“Ready?”

No.

“Yes.”

He opened the door and we rushed out into the chaos.

I was surprised at how many people were still on the front lawn. People screamed at me from all different angles, some in encouragement and love and adoration, and some out of pure hatred. A girl a few years younger than myself called me a cunt and told me I didn’t deserve Rhysand’s love. The fact that she had my husband’s face on her shirt was the first sign that I shouldn’t take anything she said seriously, but in the moment, that was harder than it should have been.

Once I was in the car, the door shut behind me, I let loose a breath. Kallias was in the car a moment later, only to be followed by people banging on the car windows. I groaned, sinking lower into my seat.

I was over it.

I wanted it to be done.

And it had only just begun.

As the car moved, fans began running alongside it, and I wondered why anyone in their right mind would want to be famous.

Eventually, we began to move too fast, and we left everyone behind.

I had just nearly gotten comfortable in the backseat when I realized I wouldn’t be comfortable for long, because I was on my way to see Rhysand.

My loving husband.

—————

I was asleep before we were even in the air.

We’d boarded the most lavish private plane I’d ever seen, Kallias had offered me champagne — which I declined — and then I found myself a nice corner to sit in.

Next thing I knew, Kallias was tapping me on the shoulder. “Ms. Archeron, we’re here.”

The private jet had landed on a runway on the far end of the town at a small airport. I supposed not having to go through the chaos of a big airport was a perk in all this.

One of the very few perks, anyway.

After being led off the plane, I was brought to another car and driven through town. The nightlife was lively, people walking hand in hand down the streets of downtown, or in large groups.

I rolled down my window to hear the music as we passed by bars, and the hustle and bustle of excitement and conversation.

Nearly twenty minutes later, we were driving down a long, winding driveway, up to one of the biggest houses I had ever seen.. If I hadn’t been so exhausted and shell shocked, I would have loved to admire it. As it was, I was too busy taking in the crowd around me.

The doors were open and people were spilling out. There were two girls making out on the front steps and Kallias stepped around them as if they were ornamentation on the front lawn. I did my best not to stare.

There were people everywhere, milling about, talking, drinking, dancing, making out. You name it, it was happening in the house. For the first time in twenty-four hours, I wasn’t the person everyone was staring at.

Except for one person who had noticed me and he had a grin on his face.

Kallias headed towards him and as we approached I noticed how huge he was.

With a sigh, that nearly seemed annoyed, Kallias began, “Feyre, this is-.”

“Cassian,” the newcomer said, hand outstretched. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

My cheeks heated as he shook my hand, his hand nearly crushing my own.

“Um, nice to meet you,” I stammered.

“You too,” he said, his grin growing wider. “It’s nice to finally meet my best friend’s wife.” I opened my mouth to reply with a protest, but Cassian was turning to Kallias. “Don’t worry, Kal. I got it from here.”

Kallias looked at me, brow raised, and I gave him a curt nod before he disappeared to tend to whatever duties he had for the remainder of the night.

“Like parties?” Cassian asked, turning his back and starting to walk. I took it as a hint to follow.

“I-.” I’m not one for parties. Especially not parties like this, I was going to say, but thought better of it. “It’s pretty extravagant.”

“Almost as extravagant as a quick wedding in Vegas,” Cassian crooned, looking back at me over his shoulder.

If I thought I couldn’t have blushed any more, I would’ve been mistaken. My cheeks were burning.

“I always thought I would be his best man,” Cassian went on. “Shame. Although, I also thought he would’ve known his wife for more than three hours before he said his vows. So.”

We walked in silence for a few minutes, but that’s not to say it was quiet. It was anything but. Everywhere I looked, I saw someone else that I vaguely recognized and then it would dawn on me that I was staring at the model from a billboard back home or the actor from that new action movie Joey had wanted to see.

A leggy blonde wearing a poor excuse for a dress bumped into me and nearly knocked me over. Cassian stopped and frowned at her as her tall frame walked away. “Some people have no manners. Come on.”

He led me towards the back of the house, through the dance floor, around a game of beer pong being played with champagne flutes — didn’t seem very efficient to me, but no asked, so — until we stepped out onto a porch.

And there he was, leaning against the iron railing. The strong lines of his face were in profile. Holy shit, how could I have forgotten? There was no explaining the full effect of Rhys in real life. He fit in with the beautiful people just fine. He was one of them. I, on the other hand, belonged in the kitchen with the waitstaff.

Before we could take another step closer, a tall, sun-kissed blonde in a bikini with a silver belly chain came up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Rhysand didn’t look directly at her, but, instead, he took a sip from his glass bottle.

A feeling surged within me, and I hated that feeling. It nearly felt like jealousy, although I knew that was absurd, because I couldn’t possibly feel jealous.

Could I?

No. It wasn’t jealous. Definitely not jealousy.

Not jealous.

I shook the feeling off, although it lingered, as Cassian said, “Rhys! Look who I found!”

Rhysand’s eyes found Cassian’s, then mine.

“Um, can you take me to my room?” I asked Cassian, under my breath.

Cassian looked at me, lifting a brow. “You don’t want to party?”

“I’m tired, it’s been a long day,” I answered. Not necessarily a lie, not at all. “I prefer to just go to bed.”

“Feyre.”

The sound of my name on his lips had me turning to look at him.

He was looking at me, that bottle still in his hand, the other one was gripping the iron railing he leaned on, rather than where it had been seconds before, on bikini girl’s hip.

Not that I noticed.

“Hi,” I breathed.

Cassian snorted. “She doesn’t say much, does she?”

“She speaks,” he said, eyes not leaving mine. The tone in which he said it made it clear that he wished I wouldn’t ever again.

I had expected things to be awkward, tense even. But outright disdain was something I was not used to.

The slender blonde pressed her body — including her obviously fake boobs — against Rhys, eyeing me. The chain around her waist made a tinkling noise. I guess she decided that since I was his wife, I was about to steal him and ruin her night.

Like that would happen.

I took a second to look at Rhys, to really look at him. It should be illegal to make a black t-shirt and ripped jeans look that good. He caught my gaze and straightened. His black army-style boots were crossed at the ankles, easy as you please, because he belonged here. I didn’t.

He glanced at Cassian. “You mind finding her a room?”

Cassian snorted and crossed his arms. “Do I look like your fucking butler? You’ll show your own wife to a room. Don’t be an asshole.”

“She’s not my wife,” Rhys growled.

“Every social media site and news channel in Prythian would disagree with you there.” He turned and gave me a little wave. “Catch you later, Feyre.”

He walked away and Rhys disentangled him from the blonde. She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest, effectively pushing them up, but he paid her no attention. “Come on.”

He gestured toward the door and my eyes caught on something on the inside of his forearm that I hadn’t noticed that morning. In black ink, still red around the edges was one word:

Feyre .

“What?” His gaze followed mine and he said, “Ah, yeah, that. It’s whatever. Let’s go.”

“Hurry back, Rhysie,” the blonde cooed. I could have sworn I saw him roll his eyes, but he was off, heading for the door before I could be sure.

I pretended I hadn’t heard it, although the words replayed in my mind. I followed Rhysand inside, then through the crowd of people. I almost felt ridiculous, refusing to attend a party attended by the world’s elite. But, it wasn’t who I was, and I wasn’t going to pretend that I belonged there.

Hallways spread out in both directions up on the second floor. We went left, down to the end. He threw open a door and there my bag sat, waiting on a big king-size bed. Everything in the sumptuous room had been done in white: the bed, walls, and carpets. An antique white love seat sat in the corner. It was beautiful, pristine. Nothing like my small, cramped room back at the apartment I shared with Joey, where between the double bed and my desk, you had just enough room to get the cupboard door open, no more. This place went on and on, a sea of perfection.

“I’d better not touch anything,” I mumbled, hands tucked into my back pockets.

“What?”

“It’s lovely.”

Rhys looked around the room with nil interest. “Yeah.”

I wandered over to the windows. A luxurious pool sat below, well lit and surrounded by palm trees and perfect gardens.

“Listen, some people are going to come to talk to you about the divorce papers. They’ll be here at ten,” he said, hovering in the doorway. His fingers tapped out a beat on the doorframe. He kept casting longing looks down the hall, clearly impatient to be gone.

“Some people?”

“My lawyer and my manager,” he told his feet. “They’re rushing things, so… it’ll all be, ah, dealt with as fast as it can.”

“All right.” Rhys sucked in his cheeks and nodded. He had killer cheekbones. I’d seen men in fashion magazines that couldn’t have compared. But pretty or not, the frown never lifted. Not while I was around. It would have been nice to see him smile, just once. “You need anything?” he asked.

“No. Thank you for all this. For flying me down here and letting me stay. It’s very kind of you.”

“No worries.” He took a step back and started closing the door after him. “Night.”

He turned and opened the door, was halfway out, when I said, “Rhys, wait, shouldn’t we talk or something? About last night?”

He paused and said, “Seriously, Feyre? Why fucking bother?”

And then he was gone.

“I will,” I said, although it was far from true.

Again.

At least he hadn’t slammed the door this time, and I counted that as progress in our relationship. I sighed, letting out the breath I’d been holding. I was surprised to feel...disappointed. It’s not that I was expecting to hang out with him while I was here, but I didn’t expect to be sent to my room like a naughty child.

I made my way over to the window and looked out. A luxurious pool sat below, well lit and surrounded by palm trees and perfect gardens. Two people were in the water, making out. The woman’s head fell back and her breasts bobbed on the surface. Oh, no, my mistake. They were having sex. I could feel the heat creep up my neck and I almost turned away.

I would have, if I hadn’t noticed another couple heading for what I assumed was a pool house. The man was Rhys and the blonde hung off of him, tossing her hair over her shoulder and swaying her hips a little extra as she walked. She hurried ahead of him and stood in the doorway, before untying the strap of her top and letting it fall. She didn’t try to cover herself and he didn’t try to look away, just kept walking at the same pace until he’d reached her.

And when he did, he turned around and caught my eye.

I ducked around the wall and held my breath, feeling the blush creeping up my neck again. Not only had I caught them sneaking off to do the gods knew what, but he had caught me spying.

Except I wasn’t spying, I was just...appreciating the landscaping. Which is what I would tell him if he ever asked me about it.

If he ever spoke to me again, that is. I didn’t think that was too likely.

I looked around the room and was overwhelmed by the expense put into it. I’d be willing to bet this room alone cost as much as my apartment. I was scared to touch anything, to even sit on the white bedspread.

Who the hell has a white bedspread?

I dug through my backpack and plugged my phone in knowing it had died long ago and meandered into the bathroom. There was a large jacuzzi tub in the corner, a massive double vanity and a huge, walk-in shower. I whistled once and turned around making another lap around the room.

Rhys hadn’t asked if I wanted to stay and party, nor would I have likely taken him up on his offer, but I couldn’t stay cooped up in this room. Not after the last thirty-six hours of my life. Thankfully, I had been invited to the party downstairs, courtesy of Cassian.

No one paid me any attention as I crept downstairs. I slunk into the closest corner and settled in to watch the beautiful people at play. It was fascinating. Bodies writhed on an impromptu dance floor in the middle of the room. Someone lit up a cigar nearby, filling the air with a rich, spicy scent. Puffs of smoke billowed up toward the ceiling, a good twenty feet above. Diamonds glittered and teeth sparkled. You couldn’t get better people-watching if you tried. No sign of Cassian, sadly. At least he’d been somewhat nice.

“I don’t know you.”

I jumped slightly and turned, finding a man with blonde hair and a finely cut suit watching me while he sipped on a glass of amber liquid. I gave him an awkward smile and turned my gaze back to the room.

“You know, if you scoot half a foot to the left, you can hide behind that fake tree,” he said, gesturing to it and taking a sip of his drink. “Then you can disappear entirely. No one would see you.”

“Good to know,” I said, not turning back to him. I also didn’t deny that I was hiding. That was very clear.

He smiled at me and took a step forward, officially entering what I considered my personal space. No matter how nice his suit was, this guy creeped me out.

“I’m Tamlin.”

“Feyre.”

Another drink. “Nope, I definitely don’t know you.”

I shot him an incredulous look. “You know everyone here?” I gazed around the room. “There are a lot of people here. That’s impressive.”

“There are,” he agreed, tossing the rest of his drink back in one large swallow. “And I know them all. Everyone except you.”

“Rhys invited me.” I didn’t want to drop Rhysand’s name, but I was being backed into a corner, both figuratively and literally, as Tamlin closed in on me.

“Oh, really?” He purred. To anyone else, the tone may have been seductive. It gave me goosebumps, and not in a good way.

“He invited me to stay a few days, so,” I started looking for Cassian, Rhys, Kallias, anyone that could save me from this conversation.

Tamlin apparently couldn’t take the hint. “Well that was nice of him.”

“Yep.” I was being rude, but I didn’t care. I really wished I hadn’t left my phone upstairs. Even if it was dead, I could have pretended to take a phone call.

“Which room are you in?”

“The white one,” I said, looking for a way around him. “Speaking of, I’d better get back.”

“The white room? My, my, aren’t you special?”

I didn’t know what that meant and I didn’t want to know. “Aren’t I just? Excuse me.” I gave up on social niceties as I pushed past him.

He must not have been expecting it, or he was more fucked up than I thought, because he stumbled back a step. “Hold on now, wait a second.”

He reached for my arm, but an arm looped around my waist from behind me, pulling me out of Tamlin’s grasp. I looked up and found Rhys standing there. His face was hard. “We got a problem here, Tam?”

He shook his head, that cool smile coming back. “Not at all. Just getting to know Feyre.”

Those violet eyes narrowed. “Yeah, well, you don’t need to know Feyre.”

“Not like you to cockblock, man,” Tamlin replied, his blonde eyebrows lowering. “And didn’t I see you with the lovely Ianthe out on the balcony earlier? Why don’t you go find her, get her to do what she’s damn good at? Feyre and I were kind of busy here.”

“No, we weren’t,” I said, but neither of them heard me. But then I wondered why Rhys was back from his play time with Little Miss Belly Chain so soon? Surely, he couldn’t have been concerned for his wife’s safety.

“Heard you invited her to stay in my house,” Tamlin asked, ignoring me completely.

“I was under the impression Hybern rented this place for all of us while we worked on the album.”

“Album has taken so long that they were threatening to pull the contract, and I liked the place. So I bought it.”

The way he said it, I knew the dig about the album was directed at Rhys. He didn’t even flinch.

“Great. Let me know when the deal goes through and I’ll be sure to get my shit out. In the meantime, my guests are none of your concern.”

Tamlin looked at me again and I saw recognition light his green eyes. “This is her, isn’t it? This is the one you married, you stupid son of a bitch.”

Rhysand completely ignored him. “Come on.” He grabbed my hand and began dragging me toward the staircase.

With a laugh, Tamlin called after him, “Any one of us could have fucked her up against a wall at a party, but you decided to marry her?”

Bullshit they could have, especially not him.

Rhys’ fingers tightened around my hand.

“Look at her, Rhys. Jeans and fucking t-shirt at a party. She’s nothing but a groupie. Tell me this marriage didn’t come courtesy of vodka and coke.”

Rhysand’s iron tight grip on my wrist disappeared and before I could turn to tell Tamlin what I really thought, Rhys had rushed him grabbing him by the lapels. The smirk on Tamlin’s face wasn’t helping the whole situation. The room hushed, the bumping bass the only background noise.

“Did I hit a nerve?” He breathed.

Rhys didn’t look ready for back down, but neither did Tamlin. Rhysand was seething. “Go ahead, show me who the star of this show really is.”

He looked ready to do just that. He tensed and looked ready to swing-.

“Rhys!”

Surprised eyes turned to look at me. Even I was surprised to have spoken. Tamlin looked at me smugly, but when Rhys turned to look at me, I couldn’t read the expression in his eyes.

I breathed, “Please.” I didn’t know what I was trying to accomplish, avoiding a brawl, I guess.

He turned, grabbing my wrist and marched us up the stairs. I heard Tamlin laugh from behind us, but he didn’t say anything else. Neither did Rhys. An elegant woman with long dark hair took a step forward, her hand outstretched. Distress lined her lovely face. “You know he doesn’t mean it.”

Rhys snapped, “Stay out of it, Am,” and continued up the stairs.

As soon as his attention was off of her, the woman was glaring at me. Not only did she look like she disliked me, but she was looking at me as if I were to blame for Rhysand’s current attitude. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was.

I didn’t have too long to think about it, though, because Rhysand dragged me the rest of the way up the stairs, and down the hallways toward my room. I had a feeling he was pretty pissed that I had left my room to begin with. Perhaps he would trap me inside, find a way to make sure I didn’t leave. Tamlin’s groupie comment repeated inside of my mind, making me fully aware just how underdressed I was, how out of place I looked.

Rhysand was probably embarrassed of me.

Halfway down the hallway, I finally managed to jerk my wrist free of Rhysand’s grip, before I completely lost feeling in my arm.

“I know the way,” I said. “I can make it there myself.”

“Still wanna get some, huh? You should have said something, I’d be more than happy to oblige,” he said with a false smile. “And hey, you’re not even shit-faced tonight. Chances are you’d remember.”

I scoffed. “Ouch.”

“Something I said untrue?” he asked, eyes ablaze.

“You’re being a prick,” I snapped.

He froze and turned, eyes wide and, surprisingly, shocked. “Me? I’m being a prick? For fucks sake, you’re my wife!”

“No, I’m not. You said yourself, right before you went to go play in the pool house with your little friend.” Though they hadn’t stayed long, only five, maybe six minutes. I almost felt bad for Little Miss Belly Chain. I know I would’ve been disappointed in such a lackluster performance. That wasn’t service with a smile.

He shook his head, a dark laugh leaving him, but there was no humor to it. Clearly, he wasn’t my biggest fan right now. It’s okay, the feeling was mutual.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Should I take you back to Tamlin?” He cracked his knuckles like he was preparing for a fight.

“No, thank you.”

“That was real nice, making fuck-me eyes at him, by the way. Out of everyone down there, you had to be flirting with Tam,” he sneered. “Classy, Feyre.”

“That’s honestly what you think was happening?”

“What with you and him getting all fucking cozy in the corner?”

“Seriously?”

“I know Tamlin and I know girls around Tamlin. That’s definitely what it looked like, baby.” He held his arms out wide, that tattoo with my name on it standing out, red and angry. “Prove me wrong.”

“I don’t even know how to make fuck-me eyes. And if I did, I definitely wouldn’t have been making them at that tool downstairs,” I snapped. No wonder so many marriages ended in divorce. Marriage sucked and husbands were the worst.

“Trust me, you absolutely do,” he breathed, and the tone of his voice had me looking up into his eyes. What I saw there unsettled me, especially considering what he’d just accused me of.

“It’s funny,” I started, crossing my arms. “My best friend begged me not to break the band up when I came out here, but I think you and Tamlin can handle that on your own. Your band issues might be even worse than your wife issues, and that’s saying something.” Slowly, I shook my head. “Thank you for offering me the opportunity to defend myself. I really appreciate it. But you know what, Rhys, I’m just not convinced your good opinion is worth it.”

He flinched.

I walked away before I said something worse. Forget anything amicable. The sooner we were divorced, the better.

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