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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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Don’t Wanna Get Caught

1/2 giveaway fics for my 1k follower celebration! This one is for @harringrovewhorexx who requested possessive!Billy.

There’s smut at the end.

Read on Ao3

Steve knows Robin doesn’t like him.

That very first day at Scoops, he had held out his hand, put on his sweetest smile, and said Hi, Steve Harrington.

“Yeah, I know .”

“Well, uh, it looks like we share most of our shifts.”

“Yippee.” She wasn’t looking at him, was only speaking in full monotone.

He didn’t really know what to do with her rejection.

He knows he’s fallen from grace, knows no girls have really spared him a second look, let alone owe him a conversation. But if they’re gonna work together most days, he wants to be able to talk.

Nothing implied.

He’s already got someone, of course. Not that he can tell anyone.

So he and Robin skirted around one another. And his shifts were long and boring, and went on forever while he passed time organizing different sized cups, practiced making perfectly round scoops, and thinking about Billy at the community pool, strutting around in the short red shorts he had picked up from Steve’s floor and shimmied on this morning.

He found out how to really crack her about three and a half weeks into their time together.

He was carrying in a load of plastic spoons, ready to set them out in the designated holders, when he tripped.

And 800 red spoons went everywhere .

She laughed at him so hard he thought she was gonna collapse.

So he figured it out. She likes to watch him make a fool of himself.

He leaned into it.

He had nothing left to lose anymore, didn’t have any more grace to fall from.

Bombing with girls hadn’t really been on purpose.

He wasn’t really paying attention to what he was doing, and had spilled a cone down some chicks shirt, getting rocky road all down her cleavage.

“God, you dingus. Aren’t you supposed to be good with the ladies.”

“Just lost my touch, I guess.”

“ I’ll say . You made a complete fool of yourself.” Steve smiled sheepishly at her.

It was easier than Steve wanted to think about, making a complete ass of himself, flirting so shittily with the girls that came through Scoops, they would walk away when they knew he was working.

But it’s not like he was trying to get laid anyway .

He had Billy, who would be waiting in his sitting room when he got home, shorts on the floor, and hard cock in his hand. He’d say, well c’mon sailor. Got something nice for ya . He did it almost every night .

Billy was beating on the steering wheel, singing along loudly to the Judas Priest tape he had picked.

He was picking Steve up, had planned to take him out for his lunch hour, maybe take him to the diner, maybe just fuck him in the backseat of the Camaro for about fifty minutes, and give Steve some time to wolf down a hotdog-on-a-stick before returning to his ice cream.

He twirled his key ring around one finger as he made his way to Steve.

He had one foot in the threshold when he saw Steve leaning over the counter, flirting with some fucking girl .

He felt like his vision was shorting out. His blood was rushing in his ears.

Steve, his Steve , was giggling at this blonde chick, talking out his ass about something . Something Billy didn’t care now, not when it wasn’t directed at him .

He ground his teeth as Steve finished the transaction, practically throwing the girl’s change at her. Fuckin’ eager little beaver, ain’t he?

She turned around, an odd look on her face as she left with her ice cream.

Steve brightened like the fucking sun when he saw Billy, who just glowered at him.

He stomped up to the counter.

“Hey, Bill.” He reached out to tug on Billy’s shirt collar. Billy knocked his hand away.

“Who the fuck was that ?” Steve’s face crumbled.

“Who?”

“That fucking girl you were having the goddamn time of your life with.”

“Um, the customer before you? I don’t know. I don’t know her name.”

“So you didn’t even bother to learn her name before trying to get in her pants?”

“I wasn’t, wait what the fuck ?”

“No. You don’t get to do that . You talk all this shit about us ,” he lowered his voice, talking through gritted teeth. “Us being together , and you fuck around with girls .”

“Billy, I wasn’t ! The only time my coworker doesn’t hate my fucking guts , is when I’m making a damn fool of myself. So I, on purpose , bomb with girls because she thinks it’s funny. It’s just that.”

Billy huffed.

Ultimately, he does trust Steve, knows when he’s telling the truth.

And in retrospect , Steve’s been hurt before, he wouldn’t cheat on Billy.

But picturing him with someone else, anyone else, well it was making Billy’s gut burn .

He took Steve by the wrist, tugging him into the breakroom.

“What the fuck ?” Steve’s coworker was at the table, drinking a milkshake, Walkman headphones over her ears.

“It’s Steve’s lunch. You’re on.” She threw Billy a dirty look while she pushed past him.

“Billy, no need to be rude-” Steve’s eyes were wide when he slammed him against the freezer door.

“Wanted her gone . So I can have my way with you.”

“Billy, we can’t-”

“You know, you got me thinkin’ . Thinkin’ about you , with other people . And I really fucking hated that idea.” He ghosted his breath over Steve’s neck. “Wanna show you who you belong to .”

Steve whined as Billy ground their hips together.

He started sucking bruises on Steve’s neck, making him gasp.

“You gotta be quiet , Baby. Don’t wanna get caught .”

Steve bit his lip as Billy went for his belt. He turned Steve around when he got it loose, just enough to shove his shorts down, expose his ass.

He sucked on two of his fingers, circling one around his hole.

One went in easy, Steve had ridden his dick just this morning before work. Steve was panting, trying not to make all his usual noises, his mewls and cries.

Billy’s body was so fucking hot behind his, and he could feel his cock, hard as a damn rock through the denim of his shorts.

He pushed in another finger, Steve whined in his throat, biting his lip to try and keep the sound down .

Steve arched his back, trying to fuck himself on Billy’s fingers.

“ Greedy , aren’t you?” Billy was pressed against his back, rasping right into his ear. “What do you say, then? You ready for my cock?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathed, wanting to stay quiet , wanting to stay good . “I’m ready.”

Billy’s fingers were gone, the weight against his back disappearing.

Steve stayed where he was, back arched against the freezer door, ass sticking out.

He heard Billy zipper, heard him spit into his hand.

Billy’s cock was hot against him, the blunt head pressed against his entrance, just teasing .

“Want you to remember who you belong to.” He shoved his way in, pulling Steve’s hips, forcing him to take his cock in one go.

Steve slapped one hand over his mouth, trying to stifle the whine that had forced its way out of his throat.

“Dingus? You okay?” Billy leaned forward as Robin called out to him.

“Go ahead, Pretty Boy. Tell her you’re fine .”

“I’m fine, Robin. Thanks.” Steve tried to keep his voice even, but it shook a little as Billy slowly pulled out, working his way back into Steve.

“The rush is picking up, so come out here when you can.” Billy’s dick was stretching him out, a little dry as he moved in and out of Steve, moved so fucking slow .

“Sure thing.” Steve rested his forehead against the freezer door, taking ragged breaths.

“ Good job. She doesn’t suspect a thing .”

Billy picked up the pace a little, didn’t want Robin to come looking for Steve at any point.

Even if the idea thrilled him a little.

He plastered himself to Steve, holding onto his hips as he fucked into him, pulling Steve back towards him with every thrust.

Steve turned over his shoulder, looking darkly at Billy before his eyes flutter closed, leaning as close as he could, pressing their lips together gently. Billy took one hand from his hips, bringing it to the back of Steve’s head to deepen the kiss, guide Steve just where he wants him.

He kissed his cheek, down over his jaw. He kissed his neck, letting his tongue lave against pale skin before pressing his lips to it.

Steve reached down, stroking his cock with one hand, the other bracing him against the freezer.

“Billy,” Steve trailed off. Billy knew he was close, knew by the sharp gasps he kept letting out that Billy was hitting his sweet spot , bringing him closer and closer and closer to the edge.

Billy bit him, sucking in the skin, leaving a red, angry mark on his neck, above the little collar of the sailor shirt, where everyone would see that Steve Harrington was claimed .

“You’re mine .”

Steve came when Billy growled into his ear, his legs shaking as his brows screwed up.

Billy fucked him through it, pulling out when Steve stopped clenching around him.

He turned Steve around, pushing on his shoulders to get him on his knees, little shorts still pulled down, spunk all over his hand.

He took Billy into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as he let Billy fuck his face, relaxing into it.

Billy was panting, staring down at Steve trying not to choke on his cock, staring at the bite mark , blossoming so pretty and red against his skin.

He pushed Steve down firmly, cumming right down his throat, making sure he takes it all , swallows everything up.

He released Stev, let him take a few shaking breaths as he tucked himself away.

He got a napkin for Steve’s hand, cleaning up the drool on his face while he was at it. Steve smiled softly up at him.

“You comin’ over tonight?” Billy helped him stand up, did his shorts and his belt back up for him.

“‘Course I am. Wanna see how nicely this develops.” He pressed a thumb into the bruise on Steve’s neck, making him hiss.

“Did you leave a mark ?” Steve scrambled to find something reflective, settled for the glass on the back door. “You asshole .”

“Wanted all the girlies that come by to know you’ve already got someone.” Steve slapped his chest.

“Jackass.”

#yikes writes #lemons #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

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khoicesbyk · 4 years

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The Nanny Affair.

The Vacation Of A Lifetime. Part 3.

Author’s Note: This fanfic right here is based off of the preview for Chapter 14. This will be four parts. First is what happens before they get to Italy. And the second, third and fourth parts will be what happens once they land. So; Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

***Rated: Mature 18+. Contains sexual content and strong language. You know? The usual from me. 😁

***Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters.

***Characters: Sam Dalton (LI) and Krystal Parker (MC). (Special appearances by my TRR MC Shanelle Dawkins, LI King Marquise)

***All Characters and names (except MC) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 2,826 words.

Yip! Yippee! It’s Part 3! (I was only going to make this a three part series but I changed my mind after releasing part 2. 🤷🏾‍♀️)

It was the evening of gala at the Cordonian embassy.

And after spending the morning and afternoon with the boys; Krystal was in her room trying to figure out what she wanted to wear.

“Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! Do I go with the black? Do I go with the fuchsia? Ooh! Maybe the coral one will work!”, she said as she looked over the options in front of her. Just then; there was a knock at her door. When she opened it; a man was standing there with a garment bag and two smaller boxes. “For you; Ms. Parker. Courtesy of Queen Shanelle herself.”, he said in a thick European accent as he handed her the items.

“Oh! Well, thank you! Tell her majesty that I’m honored!”, she said. He nodded and was then gone. As she sat them down on her bed; she noticed an envelope on top of the smaller of the two boxes.

She opened it to find a small card that read, “time to play dress up! If it’s not too much for you…trouble! ;) M.” As she remembered; she, Shanelle and Jenny used to be called TMI back in school. Krystal was T aka The Troublemaker. Shanelle was M aka The Matchmaker. And Jenny was I aka The Investigator.

They were a trip and a half back in those days.

When she opened the garment bag; she found a beautiful, off shoulder violet mermaid gown by Givenchy. In the larger of the two boxes; were a pair of black Gucci stilettos and a matching clutch. And in the smallest box; were a pair of diamond tear drop earrings and with a matching tear drop pendant. Her jaw hit the floor. She didn’t know what Shanelle’s intentions were; but so far she liked where they were headed, in terms of her new outfit.

After showering and changing; she was headed down to the lobby. One thing she was thankful for; is that the boys got ready with their dad in his room. When she got there; she was greeted by her three favorite people.

“Whoa! You look great Krystal!”, Mason said.

“Yeah! You look like a real life princess!”, Mickey quipped. Her heart melted at their words.

“Awwww! Thanks you two!”, she said as she wrapped them up in a fierce hug.

“They’re right ya know?”, Sam added after finally coming out of his trance. “You look absolutely stunning!”

“Thank you.”, she replied.

“Shall we everyone?”, he asked; and with that, they were in the transport and off to the embassy. As they were on their way; Krystal asks, “where’s Sofia? Is she sick again?”

“No. She’s coming with her dad and brother. And my parents are coming with Robin.”, he replies. Soon; they arrived and were greeted by flashing cameras and paparazzi. He offered her his arm; and they and the boys were escorted inside to the main ballroom. Upon entering the the ballroom; they were greeted by Sofia and the two families. “Well! Don’t you look absolutely lovely, Krystal! That dress is exquisite! Is it new?”, Mrs. Dalton asked. Sofia on the other hand; had her nose up in the air. “Yes. She does look somewhat put together, doesn’t she?”

“Thank you, ladies. It’s a gift from a very close friend.”, she replied. Robin walks up and has to do a double take when he sees her. With wolfish grin he says to her, “Damn Krystal! If you were trying to get my attention; you got it!”

She rolled her eyes at him but; never said a word. That’s when the Cordonian National Anthem was played; and Queen Shanelle, King Marquise flanked by her parents, Crown Princess Khari and the Royal Council enter the room. They were a very polarizing couple. Krystal was star struck looking at his majesty.

“Dammit Match! How did you get so lucky with all that tall, fine and chocolate?!”, she muttered to herself. When the two friends spotted one another; they just winked and smiled at each other.

“Dignitaries and esteemed guests. It is a true honor and privilege, to host all of you this evening. It is the hope of myself and my queen that you all enjoy yourselves tonight.”, says King Marquise. Dinner is soon served once everyone is seated. Krystal was seated in the back with the boys; per Sofia’s request.

Dinner was delicious! It was Pan Seared Alaskan Salmon topped with Colossal Shrimp in Lobster Sauce and Filet Mignon topped with Béarnaise Sauce. Served with Pan Roasted Brussel sprouts, Honey Glazed Carrots and King Oyster Mushroom Risotto. The boys were served Roman style pepperoni pizza; that was gone in the blink of an eye.

Sam soon comes over to check on them. “Well? How was it, everyone?”, he asks.

“It was awesome dad!”, Mickey exclaimed.

“Yeah! They even gave us extra cheese!”, Mason quipped.

“I’m happy to hear that boys. And; what about you, Krystal? How was your dinner?”, he asks her. “It was great! My compliments to the chef.”, she replies.

“Wonderful! Hey you two, can you behave yourselves, while I talk to Krystal for a second?”, Sam asked the boys; who nodded their heads, in response. He pulled her aside and explained, “I’m sorry that you three are all the way back here. By the time I knew where Sofia had you all sitting; it was too late to request a seating change.”,

“It’s fine. I can’t be surprised that she has us back here. She wants us out the way.”, she replied. “Looks like The Royal Family is making the rounds. You should go speak to the King while you can.”, she tells him.

With a nod; Sam disappears into the crowd of people forming around King Marquise. As Krystal takes her seat again, Shanelle walks up with her her father.

“Oh no! I thought I was done with you; when you girls graduated.”, Rev. Dawkins jokingly said to Krystal before giving her a hug. “Hello to you too Poppa D!”, she says as she hugs him back. “Boys, say hello to Rev. Dr. Rodney Dawkins Sr.”

“Hiiiiiiiii!”, they say to him in an enthusiastic greeting. He nods to them both. “So, Shanelle tells me; you’re their nanny, is it?”, he asks her and she nods her head, yes. “Well I hope they give you as many gray hairs as you Jenny and Nelle always gave me.”

“Daddy!”, Shanelle fussed at her father.

“What?! You three caused more trouble than I care to count!”, he responds to his daughter; before she rolls her eyes at him as he takes his leave.

“You look like royalty sweetie! I love that dress on you! Where’d you get it?”, she says to Krystal with a grin. “I got it from a friend! She’s always in the right place.”, Krystal replies with a wink.

“I have to ask why you’re so far back here? It’s positively lonely!”, Shanelle asks. Krystal pointed to Sofia, who was currently trying to schmooze the King as her answer. Shanelle took both notice and exception.

As the boys ran off with their grandparents, Shanelle said to Krystal. “I swear that bitch needs a good kick in the ass! Can you believe that she actually tried to treat me, like I’m not The Queen Of Cordonia?!”

“Welcome to my life! She calls me ‘the help’”, Krystal responded. “That gives me an idea! You up for some fun, trouble?”, Shanelle says with a grin. Before Krystal could answer; Shanelle was off in the direction towards her husband. That’s when Sam walks over to Krystal; with a flute of champagne in each hand.

“Enjoying yourself tonight?”, he asked as he handed her the champagne. “I am! I’m loving all of the fashion!”, she responds.

That’s when Sofia and Robin walk over. “I wondered where you wandered off to boo bear! I guess you had to keep Krystal company at some point.”, she said to them. “I mean if you wanted company Krystal; all you had to do was ask me! We could’ve blown this joint and headed back to my room for a little private time.”, he said.

Krystal grimaced at his words and Sam’s jaw clenched. Before Robin could say more; all eyes fell on the Royal couple on the dance floor; in the middle of the ballroom. “Now comes my favorite part of the night! The first dance!”, he said as the crowd clapped.

“Now; normally this dance is only reserved for my wife, The Queen. But with her blessing; I’ll be sharing this dance with another woman.”, he said as he turned towards Krystal and the others.

“Ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyy God! I’m so honored your majesty! I will happily dance with you!”, Sofia squealed. Shanelle glared daggers at Sofia. “Ms. Russo although I appreciate your excitement; the woman I’m referring to is Ms. Parker.”, he said as he looked towards Krystal. Who was recovering from nearly choking on her champagne.

“You want to dance with Krystal?! But your majesty; she’s so common! Wouldn’t you rather dance with someone who’s more refined? Like me?”, she said trying to convince King Marquise to reconsider. “This was a personal request from my wife. And what My Queen wants, My Queen gets. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”, he says as he starts walking past her.

Sofia is devastated and Krystal is trying not to faint. As his majesty walked closer; Krystal’s mind raced. “Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! His majesty is getting closer! And he wants to dance with me! Ohmygod! He wants to dance with me?! He wants to dance with me!”

With a bow; King Marquise took her right hand and asks Krystal, “Ms. Parker will you dance with me?” She was stuck for a moment. But eventually she says, “Absolutely your majesty! I would love to dance with you!”

With a final swig of her drink; she throws her glass at Robin’s chest and takes The King’s arm. For a moment; she forgot Sam even existed as she went to the dance floor. As they got closer to the center of the dance floor; she got a wink and a thumbs up from Shanelle.

And when the music started; off she and King Marquise went. “Your majesty please don’t take what I’m about to say to you wrong but; your wife is certifiably insane!”, she says to him. “Rest assured Ms. Parker; I’m used to my wife’s peculiarities. It’s honor to dance with you.”, he responds to her. She tries her hardest not to blush very hard. As they danced; Sam and Sofia looked on. She was absolutely livid and he was extremely jealous. Shanelle took notice and decided to speak with them.

“Hello you two! I hope you’re enjoying yourselves so far!”, she said to them with warm smile.

“Oh please! You can cut the crap; your majesty! That first dance was supposed to be mine! But instead! It goes to Krystal of all people!”, she sneered at Shanelle. It caused Shanelle’s smile to go from warm to icy. “I’d tread lightly if I were you; Ms. Russo! After all; I’m the one who’s not only wearing a tiara; but I’m also the one who rules a kingdom!”, she snapped back at Sofia.

“Now your majesty; I’m sure my fiancée didn’t mean what she said to you.”, Sam said hoping to quell the rise in voices. “For the sake of you, your company and the deal you brought forth; let’s hope so. Because; only one of us can convince my husband to sign onto your Nightingale Project, and it’s certainly not gonna be her.”, Shanelle said while gesturing to Sofia.

“Now; if you both will excuse me, I have to go rescue Krystal from my husband. Have a good rest of your evening!”, Shanelle says to them before sauntering towards the dance floor. Marquise notices Shanelle approaching and whispers to Krystal, “I believe this is the part where my wife cuts in.”

Krystal replies, “Dang! Just when I starting to have fun! Thank you so much for dancing with me your majesty! You’ve made my entire night! And I do hope you’ll consider agreeing to Dalton Enterprises’ Nightingale Project proposal.”

“I will most certainly consider it, Ms. Parker. After all; you made quite the case for it during our dance. Sam is lucky to have you work for him.”, he replies. “Looks like I’m just in time to rescue you, Krystal!”, Shanelle says.

“Rescue me? Why whatever for?”, she asks Shanelle. “Because; he’ll dance your poor little feet off, if I let him.”, Shanelle replied with a wink.

“Hah! Trust me; I wouldn’t have complained one bit! But in all seriousness; thank you so much Nelle! I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better dance partner.”, she says as King Marquise kisses the back of her right hand. “Don’t mind him! He’s just being a show off now.”, Shanelle said before the two embraced.

Krystal soon left the ballroom; and walked to the terrace to gather her thoughts and get some fresh air. That’s when she was confronted by Sofia. “I bet you’re really happy with yourself right now!”, she sneered.

“What are you talking about?”, she asks Sofia. “I can not believe that you had the audacity to embarrass me!”, she replies with rage in her eyes. Krystal figured out that Sofia was extremely jealous. “Are you seriously standing here; upset over a dance?”, Krystal asks.

“No I’m upset over the dance! I’m upset that ‘the help’ keeps forgetting her place! You are common! And no matter how many times you wear a designer gown; you will STILL ALWAYS BE common! Your job is to watch the boys! That’s it! That’s all! It is NOT to be dancing with his majesty! And it’s certainly not embarrass me! You’re not high society! You’ve never been high society! And you never will be high society!”, Sofia said in a venomous tone.

Just then; Sam joins them. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing boo bear! I’m just reminding Krystal of her place.”, she says to him sweetly; before turning on her heels and heading back inside. Sam soon turns to Krystal and says, “you do realize that you dancing with his majesty was highly inappropriate; right?”

“What are you talking about?! How was it inappropriate?!”, she asks him clearly confused. “I am in VERY tense negotiations with his majesty, Krystal! Anything could tip the scales both in and out of my favor. You dancing with him If anything; it makes me and my company look desperate and weak!”, he snapped at her.

“Oh my God! You’re just as jealous as she is. Maybe even worse than she is!”, Krystal said to him. He scoffed at her and said, “No I’m not! I’m pissed that everything I have worked towards the last day and a half could all be for nothing because of you!”, he said to her in a raised tone. She was in total shock. “It’s time for the boys to get to bed. Make sure, that they are sleep before I get back to the hotel.”, he tells her; before walking back into the ballroom. She couldn’t believe what just happened. She just got her head bit off and her ass chewed out.

As she entered the ballroom; she went looking for and found the boys sitting at their table. They were indeed sleepy. That’s when the royal couple was joined by Mr. and Mrs. Dalton.

“Esteemed guests! My Queen and I would like to thank each and every one of you; for joining us here tonight! We sincerely appreciate and hope you found our hospitality to your liking. I would also like to take the time to announce that Cordonia; will officially be partnering with Dalton Enterprises on their Nightingale Project! With their company always being at the forefront of innovation; we as a grateful nation, look forward to becoming a technology and innovation hub; for years to come! We will officially be signing the contracts tomorrow after the summit is over. This is all thanks to Ms. Parker. Her engaging conversation during our lovely dance was the tipping point for me.”, King Marquise announces as he shakes Mr. Dalton’s hand.

Sam stood there in a stunned silence. She got him the contract; he’d so desperately wanted and needed. But! He yelled at and was incredibly rude to her thinking she had ruined it all for him. When he looked around for her; she and the boys were gone. They were on their way back to the hotel.

After getting the boys ready for bed; she entered her room; took her shoes off and collapsed onto her bed in a mess of tears. After crying for what seemed like forever; there was a knock at her door. It was Sam.

She just stood there with blood shot eyes staring at him. She didn’t know what to say to him. And he didn’t know where to begin his apology to her.

@txemrn @lucy-268 @choicesficwriterscreations

Stay tuned for Part 4 and the finale!

😘

#choices #choices fanfiction #pixelberry #choices stories you play #fanfic #khoicesbyk #choices tna #sam dalton #the nanny affair

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starting-now · 5 years

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Never- Pt. 2 (Barry x Reader)

Link to Part 1 https://starting-now.tumblr.com/post/187660321968/never-pt-1-barry-x-reader

Warnings: gun violence, lots of cursing, depression in general

Word Count: 3858

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the support on part one. I hope you like it!

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Barry finally arrived at the marks house. He stopped a few blocks away before loading his gun and getting out of his car, tucking it neatly into his pocket. He glanced at his watch. An hour and a half before class started. He could make it if he was quick.

He carefully approached the front door, jiggling the handle. Unlocked. This was going to be easier than he thought. He slipped in quickly, doing a scan of the room before moving further into the house. He walked through every room, gun raised and pulled tightly into his chest, but it seemed as if no one was home. A soft shuffling sound came from the last room to be checked, and Barry turned towards the source of the noise, slowly sneaking to the door.

Barry silently pushed the door open, aiming his gun, expecting to see his mark. Instead, he saw a large dog drinking from a water bowl in the corner of the kitchen. He sighed softly, and the dogs head snapped in his direction, a snarl escaping its mouth, staring him down.

“Oh fuck” Barry said under his breath.

The dog charged him, grabbing his leg in it’s mouth as he tried to escape and yanking backwards. Barry tried to catch himself but to no avail, his face slamming against the hardwood, breaking his nose and disorienting him. He could feel himself begin to pass out, and he clutched at the corner of the wall, the floor, anything to try and pull himself up. But to his dismay, his grip softened as he went unconscious.

He awoke god-knows-how-long later, the dog barking and growling loudly, and Barry could hear the jingling of keys outside the front door. He blinked harshly, the lights in the foyer blurring his vision. He tried to push the dog off, but every time he managed it, the animal would find another area on Barry’s body to sink its teeth into.

The door swung open and a man walked in. His mark. Barry reached for his gun, but it had been knocked out of his reach. The man smiled.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here? Who the fuck are you?!” he demanded to know. Barry didn’t answer, and looked frantically for a way out. He shut his eyes tight trying unsuccessfully to remember anything Fuches had said during the briefing and mentally kicked himself for not paying attention.

“You hear me dickhead? Why are you here? Who sent you?” he asked again, stepping forward and kicking Barry in the head. It was almost enough to knock him out again, but he managed to stay conscious.

Barry glanced down and saw that the man was standing on a long throw rug. It was worth a shot. Barry yanked at the end of the rug as hard as he could and to his relief, it gave way and the man came crashing down into a similar position Barry had been just moments ago. Barry wasted no time, pushing the dog off and avoiding its gnashing teeth as he shoved it into the kitchen and shut the door. The dog barked loudly and repeatedly rammed against the door. Barry spun around and sprinted towards his gun, grabbing it and pointing where his mark had been, but the man was gone. Barry took a shaky step towards the door, but the man slid back into the living room, clumsily clutching a machine gun.

“YIPPEE KI YAY MOTHERFU-” was all the man was able to get out before Barry deftly shot him in the head and he fell to the floor.

Barry checked himself over for injuries. His nose was bleeding heavily, and his eyebrow was busted. He had a few bite wounds on his legs which were bleeding, but they weren’t very deep. He slowly left the house and trudged back towards his car. He looked at his watch. Class had ended hours ago. He pulled out his phone, seeing all the texts and missed calls from you, feeling guilty and trying to think of an excuse. He opted to text Fuches first to tell him the job was done. Barry shook his head. He really should have read the file on this guy, he thought.

He stopped dead in his tracks. The file. Had he remembered to bring it? He had taken it from Fuches earlier that day, then he had gone to- Your house. Fuck.

Barry broke out into a full on sprint and jumped into his car as quickly as possible, peeling out of the neighborhood and speeding towards your house.

His eyes were wide with terror as he sped down the road, imagining every horrible scenario where you found the file. How could he be so stupid? His hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white, tears slightly blurring his vision, and jaw clenched so hard it felt like it would crack.

When he finally got to your house, he didn’t even think to check for your car outside. The only thing on his mind was getting to that file before you saw it. He ran to your front door, fumbling with the key you had given him, the key that he had been so happy to receive. He flung the door open and sprinted into the kitchen. He froze.

That’s when he saw you, staring up at him with tired, red eyes, a horrified expression on your face. He could tell you had been crying before he had gotten here. Your hands were shaking, clutching the manilla folder. His worst fear was realized. He felt his brain shut down, but at the same time every nerve in his body was on edge, waiting for your reaction. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks as he hung his head in shame. When you asked him what was going on, he decided he had nothing left to lose, so he told you.

He knew, even while telling his story, that it was over. He wanted more than anything for you to wrap your arms around him, to tell him everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t ask that of you. He couldn’t ask you to accept who he was. Hell, even he couldn’t accept who he was. A murderer. A monster. His heart shattered as your eyes glazed over, avoiding eye contact while he finished his story. He thought that making you cry was the worst thing he would ever see, but this was much worse. The broken look on your face, the complete disappointment and betrayal.

He finished his story and of course, like any sane human being, you told him to leave. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. You started crying again and Barry instinctively took a few steps towards you, but you backed away, making the distance between you even more than it had originally been. He slipped your key off of his key ring and held it firmly in his hand. You weren’t even looking at him anymore. He slid the key underneath the folder on the table, and dragged himself away from you and out your door for the last time.

He wasn’t even sure where to go at first. It didn’t feel right to go home. To go somewhere familiar, to pretend as if his world would go on after this. He trudged back to his car, collapsing into the driver's seat and shutting the door. He gripped the steering wheel and a loud sob escaped his throat, rising to a yell that filled the car as he banged his hands on the steering wheel. He reluctantly decided to start the car and head for a motel.

Watching Barry walk out that door was one of the hardest things you had ever done. You couldn’t possibly process everything that was going through your mind. Empathy, love, anger, disappointment, betrayal. It was too much. You got in the shower, turning the water as hot as it would go and letting it hit your skin, mixing with the tears that streamed down your face.

You crawled into bed, sensing the empty space next to you. You wanted him to be there now more than ever, to hold you like he had done so many times before, running his hands through your hair and kissing your forehead. You laid awake for a few hours, thinking, a million questions running through your mind with no clear answers. You finally succumbed to sleep, the exhaustion of the day hitting you and shutting your brain down.

When you woke up, you kept your eyes closed for another minute or so. You had hoped that everything had just been a nightmare, and you would wake up to see the love of your life next to you, gazing at you sleepily as the morning sun washed over his face. But of course, he wasn’t there. Your head throbbed painfully and you checked your phone. It was mid afternoon at this point and your acting class had already started. You didn’t care, you weren’t planning on going today.

A week went by. You called in sick to work, to class. Sally texted you multiple times to make sure you were okay but you ignored her. You slept as much as you possibly could. Being awake was too painful.

Everywhere you looked you saw the places that he should be. You saw him standing at the coffee maker, pouring two cups, one with cream and sugar and one black. You saw him sitting on the couch, a bowl full of popcorn and a blanket waiting for you. You saw him at the stove, clumsily making pancakes and eggs in an attempt to impress you. You saw him in the seat next to you, his hair messy, sipping from a coffee mug and looking at you like you were the only other person in the world. Sitting at your kitchen table, you smiled sadly and tears flowed again as they had so often done over the past week, looking around the room until your eyes landed on the manilla folder once more.

You don’t think you had ever hated an inanimate object as much as you hated that fucking folder. You wished it had never been there. You wanted to rip it up, shred it, burn it, put it’s ashes on a rocket and send that rocket flying into the sun. Reluctantly, you placed a hand on the folder and slid it towards you. You opened it carefully, squinting at is as if you would go blind if you looked too long.

You flipped through the pages, the weird resume, the creepy surveillance photos, the envelope stuffed with cash. You slid that aside and saw the last group of papers. There were about five pages worth of screenshots. Text messages, emails, things like that. You looked closer.

They were threats. All of them. Threats about what would happen to Barry if he didn’t kill this man. About what would happen to the people he loved. What would happen to you. Your hand covered your mouth as you read the words of the people behind these messages. You thought about everything Barry had said last week. About his life of crime. About being a horrible person. But these people were essentially holding Barry captive. You furrowed your brow. You don’t know what you would have done in his situation.

As you looked through the messages you realized you had it the wrong way around. You thought that this was the real Barry. That this vicious, trained killer was who he really was, and the shy, sweet, sensitive guy you had come to know was all an act. But it was these people who were being fooled, not you. These monsters who treated Barry like a pawn in their game, risking his life over and over again, letting him off the hook before pulling him back in and starting the cycle once more. Your heart broke for him.

Feeling more conflicted than ever, you placed the folder to the side, eyes finally landing on the house key that you had given Barry. You were brought back to this same spot, but months ago, when you had given it to him.

-------

“Thanks again for dinner, Barry. Your peanut butter and jellys are really improving!” you said jokingly.

Barry rolled his eyes playfully and kissed you on the cheek. “I’ll pretend like that wasn’t sarcasm and that you actually love me and my amazing sandwiches.” he responded.

“Oh that reminds me! I have a gift for you!” you said excitedly. Barry was taken aback.

“A gift? For what?” he said nervously as he watched you bounce out of the room. You ran back, holding a small wrapped box.

“I- uh, didn’t know we were doing gifts. I didn’t even get you anything.” Barry said, eyes darting around.

“You weren’t supposed to!! It’s just something small, I promise.” you reassured him and handed him the box.

He carefully unwrapped it, and lifted the small lid. A red key was placed neatly in the box. Barry looked down at the key, then up at you, then back at the key.

“I just figured, you’re here all the time. You might as well have your own key.” you said nervously, rocking on your heels.

A wide smile spread across Barry’s face, and tears welled up in his eyes. He stared at the key. You had said it was just something small, but to Barry it was everything. It was your trust, a part of your life, and an indication that you saw this going somewhere just as much as he did.

“You okay, babe?” you asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Barry responded by scooping you up into his arms, pulling you into a tight hug and lifting you up so you were barely standing on your tiptoes. You laughed blissfully and threw your arms around his neck.

“I love it.” he said

-------

You wiped the remaining tears from your eyes and smiled at the key in your hand. This was who Barry is. He needed you now more than ever, and you needed him. And as insane as it felt, you were willing to deal with all of it a million times over to be with the man you loved. You slipped the key into your pocket and ran out your front door.

Barry, however, had not had any emotional revelations over the past week. In fact, he wasn’t exactly sure how much time had passed since he left you. Far too much, he figured. He had made an attempt at cleaning his wounds and getting rid of the blood, but other than that, he had barely moved. He had felt depression for much of his life, but this was different. Usually depression meant he felt nothing at all, when now he felt everything more intensely than he ever had before. The sadness suffocated him. He didn’t care how many times Fuches texted him, demanding to know where he was. He didn’t care about the missed calls from Gene, or Sally, or the messages from Noho Hank which were comprised of mostly emojis.

He heard a knock at his door and he sat up quickly, almost believing it’d be you coming back for him. His brain quickly shut that thought down, thinking that was obviously impossible.

“Barry? Barry I know you’re in here open the fucking door.” Fuches said from the other side and knocked as hard as he could.

Barry sat back into bed and sighed heavily, dragging a hand over his face. Another knock.

“Barry I’m not fucking kidding. Open this door. We gotta talk.” Fuches said. Barry reluctantly pulled himself up and walked to the door, turning the lock and opening it a crack.

“Fuches I can’t deal with this right now.” Barry said.

Fuches stuck his foot in the door and pried it open with his hand. Barry squinted as the sun shone harshly into his eyes.

“Yea well I’ve been looking for you for a fucking week so it’s happening now.” Fuches said and walked into the room. He spun to look at Barry. “Holy shit you look horrible.” he said and Barry furrowed his brow. He sat down in a nearby chair and held his head in his hands.

“So, are we gonna sit here having a pity party or are we gonna talk about what the fuck happened on that hit?” Fuches asked, crossing his arms.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Barry responded simply.

You approached the motel door. You had gone to Barry’s apartment looking for him, but when he wasn’t there you figured this was where he’d be. He had come here a few times in the past, when he needed a change of scenery. You assumed this was also where he dealt with most of his business as a hitman. Walking towards the room that Barry normally stayed in on his visits here, you hesitantly raised a hand to knock on the door, but stopped when you heard voices from inside.

Fuches scoffed “Really? You’re gone for hours that night, then a week straight, you haven’t been returning my calls or texts. Our cleanup guy said your blood was all over that house! And I know you didn’t read the file or listen to a word I said cause newsflash asshole: he has a guard dog!” his voice grew to a yell. You pressed your ear to the door.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over.” Barry responded again.

“It was sloppy! I didn’t train you to be that stupid-”

Barry slammed his fist down on the table. “You didn’t fucking train me dickhead! You used me! You’ve been using me!” he yelled.

“Hey listen this is a partnership,” Fuches started “we’re business partners.”

“I AM YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS DICKHEAD!” Barry yelled, “Everything I cared about is gone anyways.” You flinched. You had never heard Barry this mad before. You felt tears prick your eyes at the brokenness of his last statement.

Fuches furrowed his brow, annoyed. “What is that supposed to mean, you mean that little actor girl you’d gotten yourself involved with? You weren’t serious about that, were you?” he asked, smirking. You raised your eyebrows curiously, pressing your ear harder into the door.

Barry’s hands clenched into fists, but he couldn’t bring himself to be angry anymore. He let his head fall into his hands.

“She was everything to me. She was the first thing to make me feel normal since I got back from the Marines. The first person to give a single shit about me since… maybe ever. And she’s gone.” he choked out.

Fuches looked at Barry and awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey listen, I’m sorry buddy.” Fuches mumbled.

“Can you just get the fuck out of here, Fuches?” Barry asked softly. Fuches nodded and let his hand slip off of Barry’s shoulder.

You heard footsteps approaching the door and you backed away around the side of the building. The man you had been hearing walked out of the motel room. Once he was gone, you walked up to the door. You knocked lightly.

Barry rolled his eyes. “Fuches I told you I’m not doing this right now.” he said halfheartedly.

“...It’s..it’s me.” you said, rocking on your heels nervously.

Barry’s eyes widened and he slowly got up from his seat, walking to the door and opening it to you. The sun shone brightly around your silhouette.

“Hey.” he said breathlessly.

“Hey,” you responded, “Can I come in?”

Barry nodded and moved aside for you to come in. He shut the door behind your and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He was afraid that any sudden move would scare you off.

“Listen, (Y/N), I don’t even know what to say-” he started but you stopped him.

“Barry, this week has been fucking horrible.” you started, swallowing the lump in your throat. Barry looked down at his shoes guiltily. You continued, “I was so scared that night. That I didn’t know who you were, that everything I loved about you was all a lie. But I realized earlier today that I’m the only one who really knows. The only one who knows how fucking amazing you are. How caring, kind, passionate, and sweet you are and always have been.” Barry looked at you with tentative hope, worried that any moment you would change your mind, or reveal that it was all a cruel joke. You took a deep breath.

“And despite all the uncertainty I have felt this past week, I have never been more sure of anything than the simple fact that you are the love of my life. And I don’t care about what happened in your past or even your present. All I know is...is that if I’m living my life without you in it then... I’m not really living.” you finished, your fingers intertwining and twisting together nervously. You looked up at Barry. He was looking at you with sad eyes.

His gaze faltered, “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve this life I’m trying to live.” he said and your heart broke for him. You rummaged through your pocket and closed the distance between you two. You grabbed his hand and placed the key into his palm, closing his hand around it. You looked up at him.

“Yes, you do Barry. I know you might not believe me, but if you really care about me you’ll trust me when I say; you are a good person. And my love for you isn’t going anywhere.” you said. He looked down at the key in his hand and back at you. Even like this, with sad, tired eyes, your brows furrowed and hair messy, you were still the most breathtaking person he had ever seen. Your hand reached up to cup his cheek and leaned into your touch as you swiped at his tears with your thumb.

“I’m so sorry...about everything.” he said.

You couldn’t help yourself anymore. You threw your arms around him and hugged him as tightly as you could. Barry stood shocked for a moment. Shocked that you hadn’t run away yet, or laughed at him. Shocked that you had even come back in the first place. He relaxed into your touch, wrapping his arms around you and savouring the feeling of your skin on his once again. Sobs of relief escaped you both, and you just stood there for a minute, holding each other until your breathing had evened out.

Barry pulled back with a tired smile on his face. He traced down your cheek with his fingertips.

“I love you so much.” he said quietly. You leaned up and pressed your lips to his. You both felt whole again, relishing the short but sweet kiss that said everything you two were thinking. You leaned your forehead against his and smiled.

“I think we could both use some rest. Let’s head home.” you said, intertwining your fingers with his. Barry looked down at the key still in his hand and smiled.

Home.

#barry x reader #barry hbo #Barry Berkman #barry block #barry berkman x reader #im sorry bill hader

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emmalt24 · 3 years

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About me: History, background, CONTEXT!

Where my insecurities lie

I think that we all have our self-doubts and insecurities and it would be hard to go through life without experiencing them in some form. I believe that the majority of our insecurities can be traced back to childhood events, traumas, rejections, shifts in family dynamics etc. There is a reason behind why we are the way we are, we just have to trace the triggers back to their sources and try to use them to motivate, empower and drive us forward.

‘Do not let rejection define you. Let how you cope with rejection after define yourself’ - Jia Jiang from ‘What I learned from 100 days of rejection’ TED Talk

Here are four of my deepest, darkest insecurities. Not in order of pertinence. .

I have never felt bright enough.

I am the youngest of 4. I have three older brothers and we are quite close in age (7 year gap from the eldest). My mothers parents were devastated when they discovered she was a girl as they wanted her to inherit and take over their lavish country estate. Through no fault of her own she never felt wanted in her own family which I think in turn affected our relationship. Many people assumed because I am the youngest and only girl I received some sort of special treatment. I was treated (and definitely dressed) like one of the boys. I wore all of their hand me downs (even pants!), played football and looked a bit of a state half the time!

Thank God I met my well dressed best friend when I was 10, if not who knows where I’d be now! I have always felt that my mother has subtly resented me and undermined me partially due to the fact I am a girl. I understand why but I so wished (and still do now) to have a closer, more emotional, open relationship with her which I feel I have with my friends and friends mums! We by no means have a terrible relationship and I am grateful for lots of the things she has done but it has never been an open, easy one and I have accepted it for what it is.

I don’t think I grew up in a very intellectually stimulating environment.

My early days before I started school consisted of me being ferried along on school runs, completing chores and going here there and everywhere with my brothers. Don’t get me wrong I am sure my mum did lots of lovely things with me too but when you are the youngest of four you are on the back burner of importance a little. When my best friend had her first child she would map out days for her consisting of sensory baby classes, swimming and massage - I think my schedule was a little different! Then I started school - I don’t remember much of my first few years of school except for having a complete block when it came to maths. I remember sitting next to a boy completing subtraction sums and being so confused (I think he was too). I was copying his work but he kept rubbing it out. Teachers were coming over to help him but not me. I was too shy to ask for help at school and I didn’t feel like anyone had time for me at home. I became a little lost in the classroom and I always felt a step behind my peers. I don’t think my parents supported me with my early reading, maths or spellings which would have been such an important foundation. Perhaps unsurprisingly my job now is to give children a good foundation of knowledge and to support parents so that the children in my care hopefully will feel confident regardless of their ability and never have to feel like I did. Primary school was quite an uphill battle for me and a move at the end of Year 3 from a large sporty school to an all girls small academic school knocked my confidence once again. I got by in most subjects and loved sport but maths was always my nemesis. It just didn’t (and still doesn’t) make sense for me! I hated it. I remember my mum's bright idea for my impending 11+ secondary school entrance exam was to get my short fused middle brother to ‘explain maths’ to me probably in return for a chocolate bar. I remember dreading our sessions after dinners which basically consisted of him getting frustrated and making me feel even more stupid and worried that I would never get into a secondary school of my choice. Most sessions would end in tears and he would storm off vouching to my mother that he never wanted to help me again!

I don’t really understand a lot of the decisions my parents made regarding mine and my brother's education. We grew up next to some of the best schools in the country which I am sure we would have all done well at but instead they sent us to far flung expensive (some not very good) schools and boarding schools. My mum only put me forward for one entrance exam to a secondary school (probably only because my friend was also applying there and her mum suggested she at least sign me up to one school). I felt so unprepared and nervous about the entrance exam. I still really struggled with maths and my only tuition support (if you can call it that) was from my brother who made me feel worse about the subject and myself! My friend who was also sitting the exam had practised some of the papers at her school already and her sister was at the school giving her an extra foot in the door. The English papers went fine but I knew I flopped on the maths. The weeks after the exams waiting for the results were tense. What was I going to do if I didn’t get in? Where would I go to school? I have a vivid, painful memory of the day my mother told me I didn’t get in through a passive aggressive rhetorical reply. It was a Saturday morning and I had a feeling she had received the letter. My room was at the top of the house and she was ironing on the landing. I sat on the top step nervous to broach the subject of my impending doom... ‘So did you hear back from the school? Did I get in?’ I asked sheepishly. She glanced up from her ironing as if I’d asked her what the time was. ‘What do you think?’ she said. ‘I didn’t get in did I?’ I said glumly. ‘No, you didn’t’. Then she just continued on with the ironing. There was no discussion, no chat, no let's actually think carefully about what to do and how we can support you, your future. NOTHING.

To this day I still beat myself up because I didn’t get into that school. I ended up going to a pricey but good secondary school which did not require an entry exam (yippee). It was a small all girls Catholic school and I ended up doing the International Baccalaureate which I only recently discovered I actually did pretty well in compared to A-Levels. I looked at IB grade boundaries compared to A-Level results and it turns out I got the equivalent of three Bs and three Cs in the IB. As someone who has never flourished academically, that’s actually alright!

Walking towards to the end of my high school days with a close friend.

I have never felt pretty enough.

Growing up with three brothers was nice in the sense that I never had to fight over clothes or make up with sisters. Although I would have loved to have had someone to braid my hair or to steal their clothes (obvs not the other way round!) Up until my last year of primary school I was the biggest, sportiest Tom Boy. I lived in my brothers hand me downs and refused to wear dresses or pink clothes. It wasn’t until I met my best friend that my style changed. She was tall, well dressed, sporty, academic and drop dead gorgeous. I swapped my brothers hand me downs for hers and over time became less dishevelled and a little cooler (haha)! I spent the majority of my free time as a teenager competing in tennis tournaments with her and my other tennis friends. I was rarely at home and was almost adopted by other families. In the holidays I would spend weeks at friends houses and would tag along on family holidays. I related more to these families and felt more accepted by them. I’m just so thankful they were from nice, sporty, intellectual backgrounds so I stayed on the right path and grew up still doing the things I loved. My parents barely knew where I would go from the age of 10 as I started taking buses on my own so I could have easily ‘gotten in with the wrong crowd’ but luckily I chose some good eggs!

ANYWAY back to the point of this and this explaining / understanding this insecurity. My best friend did a lot of modelling growing up and I never really felt pretty compared / next to her. We couldn’t walk down the street without heads turning, her being accosted or people staring left right and centre. She was good at blocking a lot of it out but it was so noticeable to me and although she didn’t like most of it, it often left me feeling like I wasn’t pretty enough because she got all the attention. I remember one time when we were 16 and we went together to the new Abercrombie & Fitch store in London. For some ridiculous reason (I knew this would never happen), I really wanted one of the models to ask if I wanted to work there. Obviously there's a mould you have to fit, you need to be attractive but not necessarily a model. SO I put on a lot of makeup and my nicest outfit at the time, tried to be subtle about it, as if I was going to admit that to her?! We traipsed up to London on the train on a wet and windy day and 5 minutes into browsing some booty shorts (although who really knows because it’s so bloody dark in there!) an attractive tall, dark, ripped model swooped in and approached my best friend, asking if she wanted a job there. I also think he used it as a bit of an excuse to chat her up! She had a sidekick phone at the time and he was asking her a lot about that. I remember we walked out, it was raining, I felt so dejected and idiotic for even assuming there may be the slightest possibility someone would approach me with the same offer. I tried not to let my disappointment show or let it tarnish the rest of the day. That night when I got home I took out my scissors from my pen pot and made a cut at the top of my wrist so deep the scar still remains today 14 years on. That was a one-off self-harm incident but still my way of punishing myself for not being approached, not pretty enough, they don’t want you, why would they, they want her.

Looking like a bit of a hobo next to my best friend at a fashion show circa 2008.

A nicer pic of the two of us. Still my best friend to this day. :)

I was never good enough at tennis and my back held me back!

Growing up tennis was the biggest and best parts of my life and it still is today. It brought me so many friendships which I still continue to have. I remember the first time I went to the tennis club, I must have been about 4. My mum hadn’t played since having my oldest brother and wanted to get back into it. We went up to the club with old school wooden rackets and heavy yellow balls. I just remember trying to bounce the ball on my racket and longing to play properly. I don’t remember officially learning to play, it was so long ago! Tennis quickly became part of my DNA. Despite not being overly academic tennis was my trump card and was what I was known and respected for at school. Teachers and friends showed genuine interest in competitions and would stick newspaper articles up in the halls showing my successes.

Despite being a good county player I was never a top player which I so aspired to be. My best friend was one step ahead and in every tournament we entered together she seemly always got through to a further round. I never held this against her or let it affect our friendship, I just accepted that if we were in the same tournament the likelihood was she would eventually knock me out (unless we were playing doubles together). Nonetheless this was an extra unavoidable comparison; I already felt she was prettier and more clever than me and this was the cherry on top of the cake.

When I was 12 my back problem was spotted.

I remember when I was 10 going on 11 about to start at my secondary school I had to go to my doctor for a medical exam. I was sitting in the chair and the doctor was not overly complimentary about me. He said that my school would be shocked by the time I ‘finally reached puberty’ and that I had a terrible posture and needed to sit up straight. . . thanks

I LOVED PE, I could have done PE all day at my school and enjoyed all the sports my school offered. It was international so we got to play volleyball, basketball and baseball which I preferred to British sports like netball and hockey. One day at school I had the most terrible back pain but I didn’t want to admit to it. I just really hoped it would go away by itself… I tentatively got in to my PE kit not telling a soul. Then we started our running warm up on our field which I would usually take delight at being first for but I ran just a few steps and had to stop due to crippling back pain. My PE teacher (who I adored) could see my pain was genuine and sent me off with a friend to the nurse. I heard her on the phone to my mum as I lay forlorn on the bed, ‘I’ve never had Emma in my room before, this really does seem like she’s hurt herself. I would come and collect her and see if you can make an appointment with the doctor’. My mum collected me before the end of the school day and managed to get me an appointment later that day. We drove down to the doctors office. Pretty much immediately she said I had scoliosis, curvature of the spine. I had never heard of it but I immediately saw my mum's face drop. My main concern was whether it was going to affect my tennis / sporting interests / career.

In the years that followed little was done to stop the noticeable curve in my spine dramatically increasing and I could have done more (maybe) to avoid the traumatic surgery I underwent when I was 15. I continued to play tennis regularly, was extremely right hand dominant and carried the worlds heaviest one shoulder school bag equipped with my whole weeks learning every day (not clever). Maybe I should have had a brace in that time and taken greater care, maybe I should have done physio. There are arguments for and against. Some doctors think a curves inevitable and to let it happen and then consider bracing or surgery and some think trying bracing during pivotal growth spurts can reduce the degree of the curve. Anyway, I had check ups every 6 months and after the summer when I turned 15 I went for my check up in September time. I had just had a growth spurt and my curve had gotten dramatically worse. The doctor told me I’d need to try a back brace and referred me to a spinal surgeon in London. The surgeon filled us with a lot of confidence. My curve was just on the cusp of having to have surgery from a safety point of view but he assured us that the surgery was also aesthetic as my shoulders were out of line and the straightening would enable me to grow a few inches. He also assured us that I could play tennis a few months after surgery assuming everything had gone to plan. I opted for surgery which fortunately was successful. I think because I was active and healthy I made a quick recovery and was out of hospital in under a week which is pretty much unheard of. I spent half a term off school, was fueled on codeine and ibuprofen and spent days in bed watching property shows and my friends from school often came over to see how I was doing. All in all I am glad I had the surgery however my back is now by no means perfect. I take great care to ensure I do not over strain it and try to still complete daily physio exercises to avoid twinges and minor discomfort. The surgery was a ‘fix’ and not a ‘cure’. Two metal rods spanning three quarters of the way down my spine were inserted and 18 rods are fused to the vertebrae. I am petrified that something will go wrong, one will pop out of place on a cold day or what if I had a bad bike accident and something shifts? It’s really really scary and I wish I didn’t have it - but I do! Lying in bed you can feel the rods, sitting isn’t comfortable, I’m never really comfortable! People say to me, ‘oh Emma you have such a straight posture’ and I think to myself yes I do but also I have to sit up straight, I can’t slouch. This really does affect me and it’s too scary for me to talk about even with my closest friends. I need to see a specialist in London just to get some piece of mind on it. Anyway I have gone a little off topic but my back did impact my tennis and playing career. I’m not sure I would have made it anyway but it did throw a bit of a spanner in the works…

A family tragedy was never properly dealt with.

Growing up I had this aunt called Miranda. She was tall, slim, elegant, well spoken and incredibly beautiful. She lived far away in a beautiful country house stooped in generations of our family history. She lived in a house that was on land close to castle grounds (which was pulled down when my mum was five). I always felt a deep connection to where she lived and although I didn’t go many times I felt at home there and protected. I would explore the acres of land that surrounded the house and pick flowers to place by the graves of my deceased ancestors who I felt in some weird way were looking down on me. I didn’t and have never really been able to speak much about my time there growing up or the tragedy that ensued because it was and still fills me with such sadness.

Where my mum grew up and the church next to the country house my aunt lived in.

I can’t remember when my mum told me she had bone cancer. She had had it a few years before, received treatment but it had returned. This time she didn’t want any treatment she just wanted to hang on for as long as she could. She didn’t want her parents to find out because she didn’t want her father to change the will which was mainly in her daughters favour over my mums. My mum didn’t mind as she didn’t need to inherit that much money anyway and she wanted her niece to be financially secure. She was a heavy smoker and drinker and she usually had one or the other (or both!) in her hand when I was in her company. After her diagnosis, each time we saw her she seemed to have deteriorated physically a little more and it broke my heart as the years went on leading up to her death. I remember at my grandfather's funeral, it was held at the church next to her country house. She was painfully thin yet still managed to walk elegantly across the cobbled path to the entrance clutching her husband's arm.

The next month we were sitting at her funeral in the same church. One of the most devastating, heartbreaking days of my life. The aunt I hadn’t spent overly much time with growing up but whom I adored so deeply. What I’d give to be taken on another tour of her exquisite house, indulge in a family meal or hear a story of her arguing with her husband over a miscommunication over a turning in France. After the funeral and the time that followed her death I could tell that my mother was extremely sad but she didn’t express her emotions openly and instead we quickly got back to normal life. I don’t think she really realised how much the death impacted me growing up, it hung over me and I had an inability to speak about it to anyone. I just couldn’t, it was so sad. My parents didn’t ‘grieve’ or openly display their emotions regarding what had happened. I felt I had to stifle my emotions too. As a coping mechanism, I would cry myself to sleep and then wake up and go to school and get on with my day. When I was 15 I got so drunk, I cried the whole night in my friends arms but I couldn’t tell her why (it was for her). I just kept repeating, ‘I couldn’t hear what she was saying’. A day or so after my grandfather's funeral we stopped at the house to pick something up. She was ill in bed so didn’t greet us at the door. I was in the courtyard and she was banging on the window but I couldn’t hear what she was saying but she kept repeating it over and over. I wish I heard because that was the last thing she said to me. My friends mum called my mum to discuss my drunkenness which was very embarrassing, she was furious with me. Maybe she would have eased off a little had she known why I was so upset…

#insecurities

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 3 years

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FIC: The Club

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"Okay, okay, order guys," The calm, but perky, voice called out over the muffled din of so many voices bouncing off one another and talking over each other as if carried on an unrelenting river down the rapids. The blonde, shorter than most assembled around the large circular table but older or at the least wiser-seeming, stood from her seat as if to call order to them all. "Hey, thanks if we can settle down and get on with our purpose of being here… I'm sure we've all got things we'd much rather be doing-"

"My husband, for me," The willowy, inhumanly perfect looking brunette sassed out, one brow raised over her bright yellow eyes. "I don't know if you ladies get the same enjoyment, but I would quite like to get back home."

"Oh lah-dee-dah," The youngest blonde around the table snapped out, crystal blue eyes surrounded by dark circles snapped as she glared across at the other woman. "Just cause your world means a husband and no end-of-the-world apocalypses like some of us-"

"Sweetheart, please, no one's going to your world isn't bad if it's really like that." The blonde sitting next to Julie Grigio sighed softly, her fae-like features in her puckish lips shining through as she smiled gently at the younger girl. Her tooth-gaped smile hiding the exasperation at being surrounded by so many unable to keep their internal-voices as quiet as they were on the outside. Sookie Stackhouse placed a gentle hand on the girl next to her's hand before flinching back feeling the gap where a finger should have been. "Oh!"

"Yeah, fucking oh." Julie mocked, teeth gritted and an angry snarl to her lips as she jerked her hand back and slumped into her chair, the flash of anger dying out as quickly as it came to the depressive thoughts she really did have the worst life. "Let's just… get on with the point of this."

"Yes, exactly!" The first blonde spoke up again, clapping her hands together. Buffy Summers wasn't one to let the mood drop for long if she could help it. And being the eldest, she figured that keeping things on track was likely her task. "We're here cause, um-" She trailed off at that point, the actual purpose of this round table foggy for her.

It was the same for all those gathered there. They'd all been in their respective worlds one moment, and then things got cloudy and they were suddenly at this table. Some of them could recognise others - the various works that others came from familiar and fictional in their realities - while others had complete confusion.

Sookie Stackhouse had been cooking breakfast for her husband and children in her Grandma's house - calling out to her husband to fix the dang chicken coop - when she felt the fuzzy feeling she used to only get when moving to the fairy realm.

Bela Swann-Cullen had been about to go visit her friend Jacob, running through the woods without a care in the world as Edward took their daughter to see her dad, and then she took another powerful step and found herself seated at the table.

Buffy Summers was, of course, far too familiar with the effect of magic. She'd taken it in stride opening one door and finding herself at a strange table with an array of strange women.

Beside her was a dark haired, mousy looking lady who looked well loved and well and truly confused as she looked about at them all - eyes wide and frightened as she jerked her hands about to sign something. Not that anyone really had noticed her yet.

The youngest one was Julie Grigio, sat between Sookie and the dark-haired mute, and the extremely volatile emotions and reactions thus far were half out of annoyance at all the upbeat personalities and half out of fear of being in an unknown room she didn't know how to escape from. R had just said he'd finished making their breakfast and had been calling her down to get started on another hard day of travelling to reach out to those people that were not too far gone when she'd left the bedroom and found herself here.

Another dark haired girl at the table, sat beside her fellow vampire, was Elena Gilbert. Crazy had been her life for years, so she was taking the whole situation in stride and focused more upon the other vampire beside her who seemed less prepared for the unexpected than she was.

"Because - we're here as a joke," the lone blonde yet to speak said, her worn cowboy boots kicked up on the table at odds with the buttercup yellow sundress she wore but in keeping with the equally worn denim jacket she had on over the top. Jo Harvelle rolled her eyes as she looked around the assembled table with a sigh. "Y'all really haven't been made aware of your relevancy to that other world have you?"

"Huh?" Elena asked, tilting her head. "What other-"

"Oh god, this isn't one of those crossovers is it?" Buffy cut over the vampiric girl with a groan, slumping back down into her seat and rubbing at her temples. "Okay, if that's the case, we better work out what our crossover is for and complete the task so we can all get on home before this turns into a-" She shuddered, "- musical."

"Hey, I liked the musical episode," Bela chimed in, recognising the 90's heroine from her own world.

"Me too," Elena added with a smile, before exchanging a grin with the vampire beside her. "Bela, right?"

"Yeah, and you're...Elena?"

"Yup!"

"Okay cool, we at least recognise each other and Buffy over there."

"I recognise her too," Sookie chimed in, followed quickly by Julie nodding her head and pointing at the Slayer.

"Me too."

"Okay, what, am I famous in all your world's for something?" Buffy frowned, sitting up a little straighter and looking about the table at the nods from all but the silent, dark-haired woman. "Who are you?"

The mute paused for a second, doe-eyed and obviously frightened for a moment before she started signing away. The communal looks of confusion started until Sookie chimed up, "Oh! Her name is… Eliza? And she's from… Baltimore? In 1962?!"

"Yippee, time travel," Elena said, rolling her eyes to herself before starting at the confused looks she was getting. "Sorry. Dopplegangers and a lot of confusing time stuff."

"I had the same with the fairy realm so that's understandable," Sookie replied sympathetically, before going back to translating Eliza's thoughts and signing through that for them all. "She does not recognise any of us, and just… wants to go back to the water?"

There was a pause before the blonde hunter leaped to her feet, clapping her hands. "Oh fuckin' hell! It's the amphibian-girl!"

"What?"

"Who?"

"Do you recognise her?"

Jo clapped her hands again before looking around the table for a moment and then letting out a loud laugh. "Oh my fuckin' God - it's the monster fuckin' club!"

There was another, longer and clearly more drawn out pause of silence, before the rest clamoured all at once to question what on earth she was on about.

"No, no, I know what this is. This is totally Monster Fucking Club," Jo said with a definitive nod before pointing a hand straight across the table at Buffy. "I'm pretty sure I know how everyone here is, and I can prove that's what this is about. You're Buffy Summers-"

"Yes…?"

"And you've fucked at least two vampires, and definitely loved two of them, let alone any other non-humans - I'm sorry, it got so convoluted after Angel left for his own show."

Buffy turned bright red as she faced down the words before blinking in surprise at the other blonde's claim. "Umm…"

"That's true-"

"Yeah. You totally did."

"I mean it is definitely fair."

All three of the other vampire-partnered women spoke up, nodding their heads supportively before blinking in surprise at one another.

"Ah yes, I'm guessin' only the Southern Belle doesn't recognise you other two, hmm?" Jo chimed in as the two brunette vampires and the blonde half-fae looked curiously at one another. "So the pale one with the yellow eyes is Bela Swann, though given you've got the whole...unearthly glow going on I'm guessin' you're married?"

"Yes," Bela replied nodding. "And yes, I confirm that I do indeed sleep with my vampire husband."

"I'm Elena Gilbert," the other dark haired vampire said, smiling gently around the table but only unable to meet the eye of the very sour blonde across from her. Elena shrugged a shoulder. "I've...also slept with a few vampires."

"I've only one-" Bela cut in, frowning. "So your theory of it being-"

"Bela, it doesn't matter the numbers. You fuck someone inhuman - you're a monster-fucker." Jo shook her head towards the younger woman's attempt to exclude herself from the group before turning to look at the other blonde closest to her age. "Sookie Stackhouse - half-fairy, vampire-magnet and lover, right?"

"I mean, I prefer the idea of bein' seen as an empath instead of fae-"

"Fair. Fairies are bitches."

"Hey!"

There was a momentary squabble before Buffy banged her hand on the table shutting up her fellow blondes, eyes fixed on the one that had been holding court for a few moments there. "Alright then, you've been able to say a few of us - but what did you mean by amphibian-girl about Eliza here? And who are you and our other friend-"

"My name is Julie," the youngest blonde growled out, glaring towards the other women as she crossed her arms.

"Yes, what about Julie and yourself?"

"Okay, okay, first things first," Jo said with a sigh, holding up a hand with one finger up, "Eliza over there is in love with an amphibious man kinda like the creature from the Black Lagoon...except that he fucks. And well, I suspect, aye Lizzie?" She waggled an eyebrow looking over at the dark haired woman with a smirk.

Eliza blushed deeply for a moment, her hands flapping about as if trying to decide what to say before holding her hands tightly in her lap and nodding her head rapidly.

Jo smirked, giving a supportive nod, before holding up another finger. "Secondly, I'm Jo Harvelle. Hunter extraordinaire and I'm definitely a member of this club given. And thirdly-"

"How are you a member though?" Bela chimed in, eyes sharply focused on her as Jo glanced back across. "So far you've said vampires for all of use except for Eliza. So...you sleep with vampires too?"

"Fuckin' god no, ugh!" Jo shook her head with a disgusted look before shrugging her shoulder. "My darlin' hunny is a shadow monster. Kinda like a vampire but energy and no blood, and also fuckin' sexier than bein' a fang-banger."

"Hey!" Sookie scowled, arms crossed under her white Merlotte's shirt she was wearing having been meaning to go straight to work after feeding her family. "That's a filthy name to be callin' us-"

"Oh is that mean in your world?" Elena asked, head tilted curiously until Sookie nodded back at her.

"Anyways," Jo said, rolling her eyes and pointing at herself with her two fingers. "Point is, certified monster fucker here too. And then," she holds up a third finger before pointing her hand towards the remaining blonde. "She's Julie Grigio, right?"

"Yeah…" Julie grumbled the word out, looking warily at the other before noticing the amount of scars littering the older blonde's body how none of the other women had that pointed her out for a kindred spirit. "So? You gonna share my backstory now, huh?"

"Well, if you're not." Jo shrugged before sighing gently noticing the missing finger. "She's from an apocalyptic zombie-infested world. Her lover is a sentient zombie who's definitely working towards saving the world, or may have by now."

"Thanks-"

"You two are so cute and deserve better than that."

"Yeah, well, we don't all get to live happy lives with husbands and happiness and whatever else where bad things don't happen."

“True, but myself and Buffy over there have had our fair share of Shit Happens, so you’ve got some company here, Jules,” The hunter said with a comforting smile, ignoring the squawked objections from the two vampires and the half-fae that their worlds were equally so bad. It was fair to object, but crazed virus infected vampires that weren’t exactly dangerous any more wasn’t the same as world-wide zombie plague nor the actual biblical apocalypse like the hunter or Slayer had experienced. Let alone the potential, far less world-threatening issues the other two had experienced. “Anyways, I know you say that - but you and your super cute ex-zombie boyfriend aren’t living that bad a life now that you’re curin’ the world as it is.”

Julie had the decency to blush, even though she moved her hands both to the table and rubbed over the missing space on the one hand as message enough that her point still stood.

“Okay, well, I guess we’ve established that the connection between us all is,” Buffy quickly cut in, clapping her hands and standing up again as she looked around at the group of women. “But that doesn’t help us work out exactly what the purpose of us being together is for. What problem it is we’ve been brought to tackle.”

“Eliza was wondering if it was about humanity and.. Monsters?” Sookie chimed up after a beat of silence, eyes fixed on the dark-haired woman who was moving her hands rapidly before touching her neck. “Oh! Because so many of us are not… no longer humans? I mean, I was born what I was, and I’d always thought I was human, and- oh, same for Eliza over there.”

There was a pause as the dark-haired woman seemed to think carefully before she began miming something else, and all eyes were on her even as the blonde empath spoke for her instead. “She was never sure what was wrong with her, or if she’d always been meant to be in the water like her man is, but she never felt that humanity and being human was what her life should or would have been.” There was another pause as she gestured to the marks to the side of her neck and then around the air. “She could live outside the water, of course, but it’s a silent world up here for her.”

“I am what I am because of an ancient mystical curse or blessing, depending how you look at it.” Buffy added, shrugging a shoulder as she seemed to consider that as an option. “I mean, you could say because of my metahuman skills from being a Slayer that I may not be so considered a human any more-”

“I’m a flat out vampire now, not that I really… That is to say, I didn’t really want to be.” Elena spoke up quietly, looking at the table top rather than meeting anyone’s eye. “It was a mistake really. And especially for Damon to have been the one to sire me-”

“Ugh, why did you go for the dickhead brother? Worst. Decision. Ever.” “What the hell do you know about that, hunter-girl?” “Easy - always go for the nice one, far less dangerous a life choice.”

“Anyway,” Elena glared across at the older hunter at that point, looking up from the table and more confident as she spoke in that moment then. “If I had had the choice, I’m not sure I would have decided to become a vampire so… Does that not wanting to change from human factor in for anyone else?”

“Why would you not want to be a vampire?!” Bela’s eyes were wide and disbelieving as she looked at the girl next to her in confusion. “I mean, I had to get married to make my husband agree to turn me. And even then, he tried to talk me out of it for years. Why wouldn’t you want to have forever with your love?”

Sookie coughed softly and seemed to wipe at her eyes for a moment before speaking up softly. “Because, sometimes there are costs for being what you are that you can never make up for. I… I considered becoming a fairy-vampire with Warlow before I realised how evil and crazed he was. And then Bill was all messed up by Lilith, and Eric was dying from the virus and-” The blonde sucked in a quick, harsh series of breaths before shaking her head and the perpetually sunshine-like smile came back across her face. “Sometimes not becoming something you think you should works out. I’d have never had my loving human husband and kids if I had turned myself.”

“And I’d have died giving birth to my daughter if I hadn’t been turned,” Bela shot back, raising a brow with an arch look to her face. “We all have different experiences, you know.”

“Well, unlike the fucking rest of you-” Julie cut in with a sneer, crossing her arms under her chest as she looked around the table.”-Aint nobody want to be inhuman in my world. Though that doesn’t stop a whole damn lot of people from trying to be. The apathy for other beings is disgusting, and the treatment of not just the bonies and the fleshies, but other humans. Everything is corrupted, the world is dead and I mean the soul of the world is dead. Human or not - everything is missing that piece these days.”

There was another silence around the table at that declaration, each other woman catching one another’s eye before dropping it again at the feelings such a declaration brought up. A world, devoid of goodness that was still fighting for love, felt like such a far step away from the dramas of vampires and werewolves squabbling for land or acceptance in mainstream society.

Only Jo seemed to nod in agreement and understanding, speaking quietly, “Some of y’all ain’t seen how a real apocalypse works. The spread of pestilence and war ravaging the lands, death everywhere. Experiencing death first hand for real, the gritty horrible pain of bleedin’ out and knowin’ you aint got a damn thing to give for the world but what little you have left of yourself-” She looked straight across at the nodding younger blonde, and stared down each of the two vampires as they looked set to disagree about not having experienced a real death, before she found herself staring down the Slayer looking back at her. “I mean, I know Buffy over there has given the big sacrifices before, but even then your world wasn’t quite so...decimated as some others. Julie’s got zombies running wild, Sook had quite a 28 Days Later type situation goin’ on, and I fought one of the legit horsemen of the Apocalypse. So, it’s a bit grander than the family dramas and scheming military folks these other three had on their hands.”

“And nobody wants to be a zombie.” Julie added snappily to the end of the other’s speech, raising a brow. “Not even R wants to be one.”

“Sounds like my hunny, he wishes he could be a human too.”

Elena was the next one to speak up, her voice soft and uncertain but also clear and more like she was sharing a thought she was still formulating. “Maybe… maybe that is the point? That we’re all, um, well, what Jo called us-”

“Monster fuckers.”

“Yes, that,” Elena continued, a faint blush on her cheeks as she looked about the table. “We might all be that, but I know that, well, at least Stefan-”

“The best of your lover boys.” “Fair call, truth.” “Thanks, Bela.”

“Jo and Bela, can we let Elena finish talking for once?” Buffy cut in sharply with a reprimanding look at the two women that were sat beside one another, before looking around the rest of the table as if to confirm they all agreed to let the young vampire finish her thought process. “Okay, back to you Elena.”

“Um, thank you. But what I was saying,” Her voice got louder then and more bold, clearly not sure she would get to actually finish what she was saying without interruption if she didn’t speak up more. “-is that it seems like while we might all be monster-fuckers, none of the monsters that we love want to be one. I know Stefan regrets losing his human life, and sometimes Damon does too.”

“Edward literally tried to kill himself so I wouldn’t be tempted to become like him,” Bela added herself, looking thoughtful. “He believes he has no soul and he regrets being turned and not left to die as a human with his human mother. He regrets what I have become, given he’s such a silly religious type.”

“Bill was like that too,” Sookie spoke up next, nodding her head in agreement to Bela’s words. “He hated what he was made into, and if he could’ve been human he would be. I… I sometimes think even Eric would too,” At that she seemed to start fiddling with her wedding ring and unable to meet any watching eyes around the table. “So, so many of the vampires, and even the other half-faes I met wish we weren’t how we are - missing the humanity and the...carefree way being a human is.”

“Like I said - ain’t nobody want to be a fucking zombie.” Julie growled the words out, lifting a hand to rub at her neck with a sigh. “R has fought every piece of him to become a human again and return to the living. He’s fighting for everyone to have that back, in a way that nobody else could have if they didn’t have his conviction.”

Beside the feisty youngest blonde, Eliza bobbed her head one way then another - seemingly tossing up the idea to herself of her wondrous partner wanting to be any other way than the way he was and the way she was; but ended up shrugging a shoulder uncertainly. Perhaps he would if the idea of humanity and how humans lived could be expressed for him, but also being a river god to the humans of his past might be hard to view. But his love for her - the way she intrigued him and fascinated her as much as he did her spoke volumes as well. Maybe he would choose a human life if he’d ever had the option of one.

Buffy herself frowned for a moment before letting out a sharp, bark of a laugh. “Oh this really could be it. Cause if someone like Spike can miss the idea of humanity sometimes, it really must be true for all supernatural beings.” She let out another laugh, rubbing at her elbows for a moment. “Besides, I know Angel wishes he was-” She scowled at the communal sigh that five of the six other women gave at her mentioning the vampire-with-a-soul, eyes flashing dangerously with something she knew she’d have to always keep buried back in her world. “-so this could be it.”

“So we all sleep with monsters, and most of them wish to be human?” Bela said cautiously, looking about the table to see a group of correspondingly agreeing nods. “So...is that why we’re here? To discuss the ethicacy of it?”

"Maybe we're here to talk about how they fuck?" Julie snarked back at the suggestion, a lip curled up, before letting out a laugh as she managed to get a honking, squeak of a laugh from the mute woman beside her. "See? Eliza agrees with me."

"I mean, it'd be a fun topic!" Bela agreed with a laugh, her own mouth twisting into a pretty smile - pretty because that was the point of vampires in her world. "I know I've broken a few beds-"

"That's cute. Destroy a house." Buffy chimed in, sitting back in her own chair before turning slightly pink as all eyes focused on her. "I was just..saying."

"You're saying the Spike fucks, we know, your life is a TV show in our worlds." Elena replied, smiling sweetly at the blushing Slayer, before adding for herself. "I mean, it could be that, but given most of us are only vampires-"

"And a fairy-vampire. And a werewolf. And a shape shifter." Sookie added, before going bright red herself at the gaping looks she received from them all. "What?"

"Oh my god - Sookie is the queen of the monster-fuckers!" Julie cried out, pointing at her fellow blonde with a wicked grin. "We must be here to work out who the biggest one is - and it is totally Sookie! Unless any of you beat, what, four different monster types?"

"I'm only at two," Jo supplied, before the rest shrugged and confirmed they were all single-type girls themselves. "I guess Sookie is the biggest monster-fucker here!"

"Oh no!"

There was a shake to the room, though only one of them seemed to notice as the group began bickering back and forth as to if that was the purpose of their being gathered. Dark brown eyes darted around watching the way the edges of the room they were in, which had once been white began to tint a darker and darker color. Like the light in the room was dimming without anyone having done anything. No one else seemed to be reacting, as the women from all the various media she consumed and connected to in their passions continued to argue. Their voices were blurring together as much as the edges of the room were blurring into dark shadows, and looking about, Jo gave a laugh to herself as she finally worked out what they were there for.

“Oh, this is such a stupid dream.” She growled the words out, eyes fixated on the encroaching shadows as the rest of the women continued to talk without any input from her.

Of course it was a dream. It was her damn subconscious mind thinking on her love’s guilt and her own desires - drawing on them to form some stupid summoning of those she’s read or watched in similar yet equally doomed eventually cases. Sookie with her blurry husband that didn’t matter, Julie with her love trying so hard to better himself, Eliza with her running off to live in the monster’s world and abandoning her human life in the pattern, Bela getting the picket fence with every possible good outcome coming her Mary-Sue way, Elena who would end up in a coffin for decades for love, and of course Buffy who was never meant to live past a year defying the odds but giving up love along the way. Of course this is what her brain would come up with.

And letting out a final laugh, Jo finally closed her eyes and waited out the quiet, friendly voices of the women her mind had planted before her to turn into the vicious hisses she knew before gaining full control of herself each morning - happy to forget the sharp points of the dream to the fog of sleep and the mind-bleaching confusion of her paralysis rather than think on it much further.

---

#au stories #crack fic #jopov

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hato-writes-stories · 7 years

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The Magician and the Thief (Original Story)

Let me tell you one thing before the story begins. Life is hard enough as it is. Moving to a new city after angrily running away from your overbearing parents with high expectations is hard too. Moving boxes into your new apartment when you’re missing both of your arms from the shoulder down because of a magical explosion at your last workplace is even harder. But hey, thank the gods for magical levitation spells and handy helper spirits.

As soon as the last box was through the door, I closed it and flopped onto the dusty red couch that came with the apartment. It’s been weeks since the accident, so naturally I wasn’t yet used to having no arms. But I had just scored a job with the local Magicians’ Research Association, so with enough time and hopefully some promotions, I could afford a pair of prosthetic arms. I guess if there’s one thing to be glad of, it’s the levitation spell my dad taught me while he was trying to force me to learn the Dark Arts. It took more focus to move a glass of milk to my mouth now, but it honestly could be worse.

That apartment was pretty small. There was just a bed in its own little room off to the side, and a bathroom that probably wasn’t that much bigger than my mom’s walk-in closet back home. At least the apartment came with some furniture, like a little TV. Perfect for one guy to live in. I found myself dozing off, and next thing I knew it was morning. First day of work. Yippee. It was a bit of a struggle to get dressed, mostly because levitation required focus, and I was still tired as heck. But I managed, and went off to the Magicians’ Research Association Centre.

The Centre itself was a large, official-looking building. Like, so official that you’d mistake it for an actual government building. It was close to the center of the city, probably why it’s called the Magicians’ Research Association Centre. For a smaller-city type of guy like me, of course it was intimidating, but I was lucky enough to be accepted to work here.

I was to work on the second floor, where Spell Creation would be taking place. Promotions were based on the usefulness of spells and how many a worker could make by a deadline. That was the gist of the orientation. I won’t bore you with the details.

The boss of the floor was a tall, handsome fellow named Lazarus, but honestly by looks alone he looked like the kind of worker who slacked off and tried to pass off work on other employees. His hair was a big of a black, frayed mess, and he had the gall to wear a black long coat and trilby to match. He looked like a gang member, but he also had the air of someone who knew what he was doing.

“I think it’ll be a real pleasure to work with you, Mr. Jingshen,” he said at the end of the tour of the floor.

“Please,” I said, “call me Gakomare. Or Gako.”

“Haha, well, we’re expecting great things from you, Gako–”

“Chief!” One of the other Magicians on the floor, who I think was an astromancer, suddenly came up. “Chief, those thieves broke into my office! They stole the spell I was…”

“They broke in again?!” the boss suddenly snapped. “Ugh… Freakin’ fantastic…“

“What’s going on?” I had to ask.

“Lately, we’ve been getting these break-ins from thieves,” Lazarus explained. “They steal our new spells and we assume they sell ‘em for profit. We call these ruffians The RuneRunners.”

“Don’t these offices have security measures?”

“Well, of course we do! But these ain’t your everyday thieves, Gako. They’re magicians too, and crafty at that. We tend to have the last person to leave set up the security spell, since they’re not exactly easy to get through once they’re up. I’ll have to teach it to you later. Lemme show you to your workstation, and then we can check out the damages with you, Hayden…”

I had my own room to work, with its own little desk, spell-casting station, and bookshelf in the corner. It was small, but it felt like home already. “Nice place…” I muttered loud enough for Lazarus to hear.

“Isn’t it? Once you get some promotions, you can move up to bigger workspaces. If you can test some spells from the higher-ups and take note on their different effects, that’d do for today’s quota.”

“And I’m allowed to create my own spell in my free time, right?”

“Well, I mean, you can if you want. Now, if you’re going to stay late, here’s the security spell…” He handed me a scroll with a rather easy incantation to repeat. “Just head to the center of the floor, and it’ll do it’s thing. Thanks, man, now get out there and test those spells!”

The rest of the morning and afternoon consisted of me testing out the new spells from higher-ranked employees. There weren’t very many mishaps besides a test dummy catching fire, but that’s why spell-casting stations existed. In truth, I wanted to try and develop my own spells as quickly as possible. Not something in the Dark Arts, but… just something that felt natural. There were lots of elements to try out, so I just had to figure it out what was right for me. But my quota ended up taking up the entire workday. So I had to go home.

This routine continued for a few weeks, with the occasional break-ins and rumors of the RuneRunners’ plans. Soon life was repeating day after day, with not much to look forward to. My daily quotas kept taking the entire day, so I had no chances to work on my spells.

Until one day, when I was on a roll and felt like staying in late, even if there wasn’t any overtime. I was invested in reading about other spells and trying to find an element that’d suit me. Pretty soon, I was the only one in the building, as evidenced by the silence throughout the building. I didn’t care though, as I was used to quiet emptiness. Still, it would’ve been nice to make friends. But I had a self-imposed goal, and that was to find my real purpose. That first step was to find what magic class suited me best. Fire? No. Maybe ice? Not very suitable.

And soon, I was interrupted by the loud crash of a window breaking, and a thud. I snapped to attention. Was this… a break-in? No, couldn’t be, it was only… 3 in the morning. No, no, this was the perfect time to break-in. I really overstayed that night.

I peeked my head out the doorway of my workroom. It was mostly dark in the main room, to save electricity. But at the other end of the room, I could see a figure wrapped in a cloak, cautiously looking around, standing in front of a shattered window. I retreated my head when it looked like the figure was looking towards me. The hallway was dimly with what I could only imagine to be an illumination spell, accompanied by the soft crackles of electricity.

There I was, an armless man in more ways than one, cowering in my workroom, with this possibly thunder-affiliated thief outside. There were a lot of options I could’ve taken on how to deal with this situation. I could’ve maybe phoned for help, but it was too late at night, and even in these circumstances I didn’t wanna bother. I could’ve maybe tried to make a run for it, but I was more than likely to get caught. So I did the most reasonable thing I could.

I went out there, spell-scrolls levitating in front me, and half-shouted a “Hey, you!”

That got the intruder’s attention. They looked at me with wild eyes, their face very dimly lit. It was hard to tell if they were a boy or girl at first glance. The look on their face quickly changed from surprised to agitated, and in the blink of an eye they swung their arm forward, sending concentrated spheres of lightning my way. With a stomp of my foot, a shadow-infused shield rose from the ground, protecting me. Lowering it, I turned my body, no arm to properly aim my own attack of simply sending the shield forward. The intruder summoned their own shield, brightly-lit, and upon contact the two magical barriers clashed and dissipated.

The look of surprise overtook their face again when the main room lit up, allowing them to see who they were dealing with. “W-Wait, you don’t have any arms!” No, no I did not.

“Who are ya and what’re ya doing here?” I demanded, trying to sound calm enough to reason but angry enough to look as intimidating as I could. “You’re a RuneRunner, huh?!”

The intruder took a cautious step back, unsure what to do. “Look, I don’t want any trouble, okay? Just hand over… hand over a spell-scroll or something, and there won’t have to be any fighting, okay? I-I don’t wanna hurt anybody, especially not…”

I sent another dark shield towards them, only for them to duck into Lazarus’ workspace. I was alarmed enough to run over to check it out, only for the thief to suddenly rush back out with a spell that I assume turned them into a bolt of lightning to pass by me without hurting me, somehow. I couldn’t tell, because in the blink of an eye, they were gone and out the window.

I was in trouble the next day. The boss wasn’t too pleased with how late I stayed, and how I didn’t employ the security spell when I left. I didn’t have much of an excuse besides the fact that I was frazzled from having to deal with a thief head-on. Long story short, I wasn’t expecting a promotion or more opportunities to stay after for a while.

“Listen, Gakomare…” Lazarus had started. “You’re a real go-getter, and we really do appreciate that, but you’re handicapped. You just shouldn’t be alone at night, all right? So when the other last person leaves for the day, that’s when you should leave.”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Now, please get to work on those spell-checks, okay?… Ha, spell-check, that’s… that’s funny.”

“Yes sir.” It was back to a monotonous workday. In truth, I only really had myself to blame. I hated to even think it, but both my parents at Lazarus were right; I wasn’t capable of much without arms, much less fighting. But it was all the more reason to work harder to afford prosthetics. Or… at this rate, am I just doomed to be useless to others?

“Oy, Gakomare, you got mail,” Lazarus called from outside. He came in and handed over a letter to me. “At least, I’m pretty sure you’re who it’s for. The guy said to give it to an armless man. Geez, some people, right?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, thanks…” I opened it up as he left. It had better not be a letter from my parents… and it wasn’t.

“Make sure you’re alone when reading this,” read the first line. “Meet me in the alleyway to the left of the bar on 6th Street after work. I need to talk to you.” It was unsigned, but I had a feeling back then of who it could possibly be. I did the only reasonable thing I could do at a time like this. I went after work, alone.

6th Street was actually pretty close to my place. I brought a few defensive spells with me too, just in case. A meeting in the alleyway couldn’t be all good, but I would’ve been lying if I said my interest wasn’t piqued.

“Psst, hey,” a soft voice called out from behind a dumpster when I got there. I looked behind it with caution, to find a familiar tan face in a dark yellow hoodie. “Oh, good, you made it. I thought I’d be spending forever behind here. It really reeks, y’know?

“You…” I scowled. It really was the intruder from last night. This… person was the reason why I’d probably been having a hard time for longer than I’d like.

“W-Wait, wait wait wait!” they half-shouted, bringing up their hands defensively. “I didn’t wanna fight or do anything bad or anything like that!” They pulled out a scroll from the bag slung across their shoulder and held it out to me. “Here, just take this, okay? Take it and go.”

The scroll had Lazarus’ name written on it. “This is the spell you stole from…”

The thief was looking around wildly. “Yeah, yeah, it is, just please take it already and go back to work, okay?” They pushed it into my hands and tried to run off, but stumbled and let out a groan.

“H-Hey, are you okay?” I asked, suddenly concerned. I could see them grab the bottom half of their pant leg, with was stained red. Were they… hurt? “Your leg! It’s–”

“I know, don’t worry about it! Just get back to your work already!” They were about to round the corner when they froze. I could hear Hayden talking to another co-worker nearby. “Sh-Shoot! I–”

Reading the situation quickly, I grabbed the thief’s arm, gently pulling them away. “Hey, come on, you don’t wanna get caught, right? Come with me. Just trust me.”

“But, I…” I assumed they trusted the look in my eyes. This thief wasn’t so bad, especially after a gesture like this. “Okay…” Against all instinct to preserve my own well-being, I led them home, to my little apartment. Maybe it was because their leg was really hurting, or maybe they just wanted to find out where I live to rob me later, but I was willing to take a chance. I had them sit down, at which point I got a better look at their face.

“Um… L-Look, I don’t really know what you’re doing, but…” They seemed nervous sitting there as I went to brew a healing potion on the stove. “Ya gave me back my boss’ scroll,” I said straightforwardly. “I wanted to return the favor. Scratched up your leg during last night’s heist, right?”

“Yeah… Look, I’m sorry, okay? I felt bad about attacking you, because–”

“Because I’ve got no arms and am totally defenseless without them?” I retorted.

They paused. “Well, that’s half of it… I… I felt bad for stealing in general… It felt even worse when I attacked someone too, and I just– I needed the money, but in the end I decided–”

“Say no more,” I said as I walked over to them with a Cure Potion. I handed it over. “Don’t worry, I promise you it’s not poisoned.”

At my remark, they looked at me cautiously, but drank it anyway, not taking their eyes off me for that moment. In all honesty, even after hearing their voice and studying their face, I still couldn’t tell if they were a boy or a girl. But either way, they were young and… rather cute for a thief, or a RuneRunner, more likely.

“Mm… Thanks,” they mumbled, looking down. “Um… My name’s Taryn, by the way.” I was never gonna figure out their gender, was I?

“‘M Gako. So… sorry to ask, but… are you actually a…”

“RuneRunner? Yeah. I mean, I know it’s a scummy job, but it paid really well for a while. It wasn’t until last night that I had to actually face someone while on the job, though. But I’m glad I was alone for that one.”

“I see.”

“I mean… You’d think it’d happen at least once over the last few months, but… Oh, man, if my family ever found out, they’d probably drag my butt out of this city and back home…”

That piqued my interest. “You too?”

“Yeah… Wait, you live alone too? I-I don’t wanna be rude, and I’m sorry, but isn’t it hard?” Their voice was genuinely laced with sensitivity. I at least had to commend their apologetic nature. “Yeah, truth be told, it is, but I have levitation spells. So don’t you dare say I’m helpless.”

They held their hands up defensively again. “Hey, I never said that! I mean, honestly? You’re like, the opposite of helpless. I mean, I’m a weakling and all, but you managed to fight back against me in the dark!”

“Well…” I felt a blush creep on my face. “It helps that I was a Dark Magician before…”

“Whoa, really?!” They looked at me in awe. “That’s so cool! I only know Thunder magic. But what’s it like? To cast spells like that?”

Nobody had ever really wanted to listen to me before. I wasn’t very social to begin with, but here was someone, a RuneRunner who attacked me last night, who suddenly was interested in talking to me. I ended up talking with Taryn for a good chunk of the night, even cooking dinner for the two of us while watching TV. It was as if we hadn’t fought each other last night. Even in this second encounter, I could tell they weren’t up to anything malicious.

We alternated between telling each other about our lives. I told them about my own overbearing parents, the work accident, and my subsequent running away from home. Taryn told me he was born a girl, but preferred to be seen as a guy, so that was one question answered. He came from a poor family, with a twin sister, and he had promised to make it big in this city so he can get the money to support them. He fell on hard times just as I had, though, and resorted to working with the RuneRunners. I imagined he didn’t want to go back home either because of it. It was 11 at night when our conversation started to wane. We ended up talking about my search for an appropriate magic class to specialize in after going through countless other topics.

“Y’know,” he began, now lying on the couch. “You seem like someone who’d work better as a potion brewer than a magician…”

“Who, me?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “I dunno… I mean, true, maybe I’m not that into offensive magic and such… Maybe I don’t wanna go out there in the world to explore and help the country, but…”

Taryn yawned. “But…?” I didn’t answer. “Ah…? What time is it? Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstay my welcome…”

“It’s fine,” I said. “I didn’t mind one bit. You’re welcome to stay the night. But if I find out you stole something from me in the morning, I’d have to hunt you down.”

“N-No, I promise I won’t do that…” He yawned again. “I’ll go home. I think I may just resign from the RuneRunners… I don’t know what I’ll do after, but I don’t wanna continue a life like this…”

“Then what’ll you do?” I asked as I went to get a spare blanket from the closet anyway.

“I dunno… I don’t wanna stay in this city, to be honest, but I can’t… go home either…” His eyes drooped closed, his words slurring to an end. I put the blanket over him and went off to my own room to sleep.

The next morning, Taryn wasn’t there anymore, but he had left a plate of cooked eggs and a note reading, “Sorry I overstayed! I made some breakfast. I hope you find your magic calling!” He also left his number on there. I guess we weren’t enemies anymore. I smiled then.

Lazarus was pleased that I had recovered his spell. I made up a story that the criminal had dropped it when I cornered them in an alleyway. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was good enough for him to buy. He was so impressed that he wanted me to practice some more Dark Art spells to prepare for any other break-ins. I was allowed to stay after again.

But I didn’t want to deal with the possibility of running into other RuneRunners, or worse, Taryn. I couldn’t stay after because of that fear. The daily quotas were getting smaller anyway, so I had time to try and develop a spell, as well as try out different magic classes. I even tried dabbling more in magic potions on Taryn’s suggestion.

Speaking of Taryn, I found myself often texting him, inviting him over to stay at the slightest hint that he was undergoing hard times. He’d mention how he was trying to find a side job to get grocery money. I’d offer him to come over for dinner, and he’d initially say no, but I’d find him at my door at home anyway, his stomach growling audible. I didn’t mind it. His company was a good thing for me. And I felt bad whenever I saw his guilty but cute face silently asking if he could take back his answer and come in for dinner.

Time passed. Soon it really was as if Taryn and I hadn’t met during a break-in. He was becoming more and more familiar around me, to the point where I expected him to drop by a few times a week. Sometimes he’d even bring food, so we can have a bigger meal together. I wanted to spend more time with him, and I could tell he wanted the same with me. Sometimes he’d even text me when I was at work with pictures of the morning sky or of cute cats he saw on the way to his own work. They were little things to appreciate each morning.

“So how’s that promotion progress going?” he asked me one night, about three months after the first time he spent the night. He bought over some cornbread for us to share.

“It’s… going. Still have no clue what I wanna go into.” I poked at the microwaved meatloaf we were having for dinner.

“Oh… I’m sure you’ll find your calling soon!” he beamed, smiling. That was the kind of support I liked, something not too fake yet not too optimistic.

“Maybe… Maybe I should try healin’ magic, like you suggested.” It was a bit out there, especially since I had been more vested in offensive magic my entire life. To go into healing magic was like a baker going into blacksmithing.

“Oh, you think?” He paused in between bites. “Yeah, I bet you’d be good at that too!”

“Yer not just saying that?”

“Nope! I mean, healing magic involves potion brewing too, right? That’s like… half of the healing magic class, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “I’ve been thinking… maybe I should drop out of the Magicians’ Research Association.” I had been thinking it over the last couple weeks or so. It felt like a dead-end job some days. I wasn’t making any progress in terms of a raise either.

“Whaaat? But doesn’t it make good money?”

“Ah, yeah, true… Plus I’m so close to getting that promotion…”

“For those magical prosthetics, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Still… I guess if you’re not happy with you work, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to find a new workplace.”

“I guess so. I’ll have to think about it more. Have you quit the RuneRunners yet?”

“N-No… I just really need the money, y’know? I mean, I have enough for groceries to last a week, but it wouldn’t hurt to have more, right?”

“Right. But still… I thought you were gonna quit.” I didn’t wanna push it, but I had concerns, mostly lying in the territory of the conflict between the Magicians and RuneRunners.

“Just a little longer,” he assured me. “Don’t worry about it, okay?“

But there was plenty of reason to worry, I thought to myself. I wanted to tell him that the conflict between the Magicians’ Association and the RuneRunners was growing enough as it were, but he probably knew that. I would just have to hope we didn’t get caught up in it. What would happen if the other Magicians found out about our friendship? What would happen if the other RuneRunners knew that he had a close relation with a magician like me?

The thought of Taryn goading me onto his side to get into the Magicians’ Association building had crossed my mind multiple times. But I trusted him. He didn’t seem like the tricky type. In fact, I considered him my closest relation at the time. In truth, I saw him as more than a friend. I… I wanted to be even closer to him, but I didn’t want him to risk anything by staying as a worker for the RuneRunners.

“Taryn…” I began. “Please, I really think you should resign as soon as possible and find a new place to work.”

“Just a little longer, I said, okay?”

“I know your situation is tough, but… I don’t want you to associate with those low-lifes.”

His eyes narrowed for the first time since our battle. “‘Low-lifes?’” he echoed. “Is that how you see me for taking on a job I can actually do right?”

I felt a chill down my spine at his tone. “N-No, I don’t mean–”

“Do you think any of us wanted to be in that position, Gako? Do you think we all take pleasure in robbing people like you? Every single member of the RuneRunners is poor, Gako! And no offense, but your Magician friends aren’t nice to us.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my own eyes narrowing.

“You know that security spell you guys use every night? You know what it really does?!”

“It acts as a barrier to prevent outsiders from getting in,” I answered with confidence.

“No, Gako. It poisons anybody who touches it for too long. I lost friends from that spell. You Magicians are worse than we are. We never wanna hurt anyone, but you’re all willing to kill us over a living.”

I didn’t know what to say. The hurt in his voice told me he was telling the truth, but… no. No, would they really condone that? What of the innocents who tried to get in, not knowing it was after-hours? I didn’t want to believe it, but I felt inclined to.

Taryn didn’t stay over that night. We ate the rest of our dinner in silence, then he left with a simple goodbye. I felt bad to doubt his side of the story, and the Magicians in general. But I had to see for myself.

One late night, I decided to stay after. I spent my “overtime” testing all sorts of healing spells, from reviving a dead plant to magically stitching a dummy’s torn arm with a simple incantation. I was a natural at these arts, just as Taryn had suspected. I even toyed with some potion flasks from the storage room instead of waste hours playing with dead-end spell ideas for once. I quite liked healing magic.

But what I was anxious to try was the security spell. Taking the plant I had practiced on earlier, I left the building and activated the security spell. Instantly a glowing pink barrier rose over and above the Magicians’ Research Association Centre. Just from looking at it alone, nobody would want to touch it. The city wasn’t great at law enforcement either with how widespread magic was in everyday life, so it wasn’t like it was illegal to have a spell like this. Gingerly, I pressed the plant to the barrier. Nothing happened at first. I started to doubt Taryn’s word, when three minutes passed, and the plant wilted slowly, glowing as purple as the barrier. It was dying. It was poisoned.

I was hesitant to confront Lazarus about it in the morning. But it made sense, how a spell like this got past innocent eyes. To break a spell like that, it would’ve taken a few minutes of contact with the barrier.

I reported my findings to him, lying by telling him I found it out when I saw a bird die from standing on the barrier for too long. “… Sir, I know it’s not my place, but we should reconsider looking at the security spell…”

His feet were kicked up on the desk, hat covering his eyes. He got up, an unusually stern look on his face. “Gakomare…” he began dangerously. “No, that was indeed the intended reason. I ought to thank you for getting it back to me.”

“Y-You mean… that spell…”

“Exactly. Listen, we’re in dangerous waters as it is as a research facility. You think just because I’m one o’ the bosses, I got it easy? I gotta keep this place floating, y’here? So don’t go tellin’ me that those low-lifes are worth worrying about. It’s their own fault for trying to break in all the damn time…”

I swallowed, mustering courage in my voice. “Sir, with all due respect, think about their situation from their point of view.” I took a deep breath. “They’re struggling as much as we are. They’re all probably suffering in poverty, and it’s not helping that we’re killing them off like this. Do the other Magicians know about this? I bet if we try to negotiate with the RuneRunners…” I trailed off as I noticed Lazarus glaring at me, his friendly face a long-forgotten memory.

“So you have been associatin’ with one of those thieves…” He took an intimidating step towards me, hand enwrapped in a swirl of Dark Magic. “Hayden told me he saw somethin’ suspicious a few months ago. I told ‘im not to worry about your personal life, but y’know what? Now I got reason to worry. It’s a real good thing you got here early today…”

I turned on my heel and tried to open the door with the levitation spell, only to fail from frayed focus. I had to duck to avoid my head getting sliced off by Lazarus’ magic-infused hand.

“You’re crazy!”

“And you’re gonna make this too easy… Look at you, a poor, crippled man. I almost feel sorry having to do this. You really were a talented man, but I can’t risk the welfare of the other workers.” I stood as the magic encircling his palm grew in size. I was petrified in fear, only thinking to dive to the side as he unleashed the blast, which collided with and demolished the wall, leaving a gaping hole with a nice view of the city. “Dammit,” he hissed. “Too much…”

I was on the ground, sandwiched between the gaping hole and Lazarus, who was steadily coming closer. “If you murder me now…” I gulped. “You’re gonna taint the Association’s reputation…”

He merely chuckled. “Not if I tell the authorities that a filthy traitor was threatening me…” He pointed his hand at me, fingers mimicking a gun and the dark aura glowing once again. “Besides, if I could start a new life once, I can do it again.” A concentrated beam of Dark Magic was shot at me, with only a luckily-timed shield spell protecting me. It somehow withstood the blast, but was pushing me closer to the edge of the building the longer it fired. Soon I was feeling my heel peer over the edge of the hole, my energy steadily being used up to keep me from getting disintegrated.

“GAKO!” A familiar voice rang in my ears. I barely blinked, and suddenly a yellow shield was joining my purple one. A flash of lightning, a familiar teleportation spell, blinked beside me, and Taryn was there, helping me push back against Lazarus. It caught us both off guard. My former boss’ beam cut off, causing him to fall from the recoil.

“Taryn?! What’re you–” He grabbed my shoulders.

“No time! We gotta run!” Another flash of lightning, and in a split second we were transported to the ground, my ears ringing and mind in a brief haze until I was brought back by Taryn pulling me along. We sprinted, not looking back, even when the wail of sirens sounded some distance behind us.

He led back to his own apartment for the first time in the poorer side of the city. It was just two rooms: a living space and a bathroom. He had the radio tuned in while we made a Cure Potion for any injuries I sustained. I was lucky to escape with few bruises and scratches.

“In other news,” a lady reported over the static-riddled broadcast, “investigators are still surveying the Magicians’ Research Association Centre after what is presumed to be a terrorist attack of sorts. One of the building’s manager had this to say…”

Lazarus’ voice came up. “We’ve been dealing with problems concerning the RuneRunners Gang recently, and I believe it’s safe to say that they caused the damages to the building. I–” He was cut off with a loud bang, like a fiery explosion. Screams filled the air.

“Oh my gods, SOMEBODY HELP!!” the reporter cried. Feedback and screams overtook the air as Taryn and I listened in stunned silence. Whoever was attacking was still going at it, the sound of spells being cast soon filling the air.

A new voice, one I hadn’t heard before, came up. “We the RuneRunners have commenced war with the Magicians’ Research Association. It is time for us to take this city.”

With fear shaking him, Taryn switched the radio off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that was his own boss. So we were both wrong about our respective factions…

“Taryn…” I would’ve hugged him if I could’ve. “I… I’m sorry.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “No,” he whispered. “You don’t have to be sorry. I was wrong about the RuneRunners.”

“Yeah? Well, I was wrong about the Association too. So I guess we’re both wrong.” We hung there in silence for a moment. “I… Thank you, for saving my life.”

“I-I only did what I felt was right,” he said. “I’m sorry, for leaving things as they were the last time we met. I, um…” He reached into his backpack, which was slightly torn from our little encounter with Lazarus. “I know it’s a really bad time, but I think now’s as good of a time as any.” He pulled a nicely-wrapped present box.

“Taryn…? What did you…” He opened it up for me. Inside was a pair of metal, bone-like arms. Before I could say another word, he took one out and attached the brace to my right shoulder, pushing a button after. I felt a surge of energy course through my mind. Suddenly… I had an arm. I moved it up and down, flexing and extending it.

“I stayed because… I wanted to repay you for all the times you helped me.”

“Taryn…” Tears welled up in my eyes. “I-I don’t know what to say.” I looked up at him. “Th-Thank you,” I managed.

He simply smiled and hugged me. “How does it feel?” he asked as he got the other one out. He strapped it onto me, and soon I was feeling what it was like to have two arms again.

“Fits like a charm.” I was opening and closing the fists, moving them, getting used to them. “I… But why?”

“Like I said, it’s my thanks.” He brushed his hair to the side, a soft blush on his face. “Gako, I… I never had a friend like you. I never met someone who would risk that much for me. I mean… What I’m trying to say is…”

He didn’t get to finish. I finally had the ability to hold his cheek, tilting his face towards me. He looked at me confused for a moment, until I slowly pulled him in for a kiss. He didn’t resist at all, instead cupping my face back with his own soft hands. We parted after a few moments. He gazed into my own eyes happily.

“I love you too,” I said.

“Thank goodness,” he laughed. “Here I was worried that, well, y’know.” His laughter died down, the gravity of the situation dawning back on both of us. “But… What do we do now?”

This city was too dangerous for us now. That much we knew. It was to soon be overrun by a faction war by the Magicians and RuneRunners. There was no doubt in either of our minds that we would especially be in danger, being traitors to our respective faction.

So we took the most reasonable approach we could. I snuck back to my apartment in the cover of darkness, avoiding verbal wars between Magicians and RuneRunners on every other street. I packed the essentials, leaving everything not important, and I took off running to the edge of the city. There, Taryn waited, with his own few essentials packed.

“Well,” I began, taking a deep breath of the night air. “Here we go…”

“Yeah.” He simply looked back. Come dawn, and the streets would probably be overrun by fighting. But it wouldn’t matter to us. “Are you ready?”

“Nope.”

“Me neither.”

He took my new hand into his. Our gazes held for a moment. He closed his eyes and brought his lips to my cheek. Soon we started walking off, away from the filthy city.

“Where should we go first?”

“I don’t care, as long as you’re here beside me.”

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