'Counterspell'

You attempt to interrupt a creature in the process of casting a spell.

Polished, choose your own paint color, inedible.

These are currently available for pre-order!

Passion for Fashion Part 2

Danny glances around the room, initially supposed to be the living room, but Dan had quickly turned it into a studio. He had fabrics stacked everywhere, random clothes designs pinned to the walls, and various-sized mannequins scattered about with half-finished projects.

"It looks like Joann Craft's store exploded in here" he grumbles side-stepping into a half-finished gown dress and ducking under rows of fabric swatches that Dan just has to hang across the whole house by color because they help him visualize.

Or some nonsense like that.

Frankly, Danny was starting to suspect Dan had developed a new ghost Obsession now that grief no longer blinded him, and he knew Clockwork made it deliberately fashion design.

He is a bit unsettled that Dan's tunnel vision mirrors his parent's obsession with ghost hunting. Is it a ghost Obsession thing or a Fenton thing? Even Jazz can't get sucked into her physiology studies, so he had to remind her to sleep and eat. Eventually, Danny will find his own tunnel vision obsession. He just knows it.

Ducking two more times to avoid the shades of blue and green, Danny follows the barely visible pathway to where Dan is likely working on the first suit for the competition's first catwalk.

The first round of the competition was a mere selection round, where contestants were all brought into a large room and given a sketchbook, pencils, colors pencils, and reference books. After the surprise judge gave them the theme of household pets, they were to design two male and female outfits within an hour. Dan had entered the testing room like a man sent to the front lines.

Danny hadn't been needed for that round, so he explored Gotham, stopping to eat the famous Batburger. The food was far tastier than Nasty Burger, and he felt like he was betraying his city by how much he savored the Joker fries.

He did notice the way everyone was staring at him, much to his shame, just as he was licking his fingers clean. He scrambled to leave as a few teens whispered, gesturing to him.

He had been in Casper High to know that usually meant insults, so when a pretty blond girl stood up and started for him, he made haste to get out of there as quickly as possible.

He met up with Dan- with a carryout bag because he wasn't a monster- and found the other had blown the competition out of the water. His designs were first in the selection round, and Dan's head got three sizes bigger that day.

It's strange how used to living here he's gotten. It's been a month and a half, and yes, people still stare at him a lot, but it's not like Danny isn't used to being called a freak, so he ignores them all. Dan tried to stay inside the house as much as possible, rarely leaving his fabrics, but Danny felt restless being indoors all the time.

Amity Park is a small city, with most of it being open space and grass he felt strange being surrounded by a loud, crowded city like Gotham. He often wandered about trying to find something new and fun, though that was hard to do once the sun started setting.

He found being outside at night was a terrible idea the first time a trio of men attempted to shove him into a van.

Thankfully, Danny had been bored enough he recreated some of his parents' gadgets, and the three men had been stunned by his Fenton Tazzer wristband before they had opened the van door. Then there was that time a group of toddlers tried to mug him. He had been trying to find a park or something when seven kids- couldn't be older than twelve- all creeped out of the shadows holding knives and bats and demanded he gave them his wallet.

Danny hadn't meant to, but it was so bizarre he had bursted out laughing. He was so used to ghosts that the sight of little kids trying to be threatening was so historical that he couldn't stop laughing. He also forgot to breathe for a second since coming to this world. His body needed less sleep, less food, and got less tired, which was a plus on their wallets.

Danny laughed so hard he fell to his knees, shaking with jest.

The kids scattered at once, a few shouting, "Joker venom!" he was left chuckling to himself. After that, he got up and went home, the occasional snicker slipping from his lips.

Dan had thought it was hilarious, too.

Despite the time they have been here and Danny's many outings, they haven't really interacted with anyone else. Danny had never been one to have positive memories with socializing, and Dan frankly disliked humans too much to want to be around them.

With nothing to do but wander during the day and practice his model walk, Danny quickly got into the habit of tinkering with various machinery. At first, he needed to rebuild his parent's weapons and ghost gear- something he had been able to do since he was seven- then he shifted to building whatever popped into his head.

From robotic prosthetics to a TV projector, Danny filled the hours with some eclectic in his hands. Otherwise, he looked around Gotham and took pictures of the architect because it was Sam's entire aesthetic. How could he not try to capture this place for her?

Dan had been researching through the house internet- thank the ancients the house came with the service- and found various styles he liked experimenting with. Due to his ghost abilities, he worked faster than the sewing machines and was dishing out whole outfits in matters of days instead of the months they usually take.

He has even been walking around in whatever Dan chose to make for him since he thought it would get him used to being seen in something not his usual style. He can't afford to lose the fashion show simply because he got awkward. That would ruin his plans to help Batman and get home.

His wardrobe now varied from what Dan called "eboy", "skater" "K-pop" "casual chic" "haute" and "streetwear". Personally, Danny preferred the streetwear since it was more often than not baggy.

He had a lot of people staring at him when he walked around in Dan's clothes. Danny hopes he doesn't look as dumb as he feels.

"Danny, come try this on!" Dan shouts, snapping Danny out of his thoughts. He gestured to a black and navy blue three-piece suit that took Danny's breath away.

"Wow, Dan, it's gorgeous."

"Duh, I made it brat." He gestures to the vest, which Danny can see painfully embroidered swirls of black, purple, and a few white strips. It did not take him long to recognize the Magellanic cloud resting on the right side while the left is a mirror design in black, carefully blending into the blue. The pants, jacket, and shoes were a nearly jet-black cloth that somehow looked like a liquid even when standing still, but what tied it all together was the black cape draping over the right shoulder. It was pinned in place by a metal piece shaped like a Sirius Star. "The first round is space theme, and lucky for us, I was obsessed with NASA as a kid."

"No, but honestly, can I keep this afterward?" Danny asks, reaching out to rub his hands on the fabric. "Wow this is soft"

"It's satin, of course; it's soft," Dan snorts. "And sure, if we win, it's yours. I don't care what happens to the clothes after I make them."

"How long did this take you to make?" Danny asks, turning it around and sporting more accurately placed constellations of the satellite galaxy. It was like a picture made of fabric, curling from the right to the back of the vest. He'll have to take the jacket off at some point to show that part off.

"Three days. Without sleep."

"That's insane Dan"

"No, you know what's insane? This place has different beauty standards. It's all about the goth and emo kids here. A few Victorian lads, too. Or frankly, a straight-up twink is hot."

"What?" Danny's brain buffers "That can't be right. I was bullied and so were my friends for looking like that."

"Trust me, the ideal body kept coming up as I researched fashion trends and ideas. Nerds are in here. "

"W-what do I do with knowledge?"

Dan's eyes flashed a dangerous green. "You put it to use on the walkway. This suit is designed to show you off, and the best part? It's your natural body; no need to highlight beefed-up muscles or a wide chest like Dash."

"Oh my ancients....Am I hotter than Dash? Then the top A-lister?"

Dan grins. "We got this competition in the bag."

Across Gotham, Tim is scrolling through GothamLive- the favorite plate form of all Gotham, beating even Twitter- and he's surprised to see it covered by the target of their latest mission. He's back at the cave running coms since he got dosed in fear toxin on the last big fight. It was not too bad but Bruce didn't want him doing anything too adrenaline-inducing for a least a month.

He would argue, but even he knew his hands still sometimes shook when he trained. So he was on comm duty listening in to all his family as they moved about Gotham.

It was a quiet night with only three muggings and one car thief so far, but Bruce wanted everyone connected just in case.

Tim figured he could check in on the meta twins and found Danny everywhere on Gotham's online platform.

People have been spotting him strut around Gotham looking drop-dead gorgeous, and everyone near their age group who was attracted to men was losing their minds over Danny Fenton.

Tim found a few of him in skater clothes and felt his face get slightly warmer. Okay, they are right. Danny certainly paints a pretty picture, but that's worrying.

A pretty meta? He could be snatched up by the worst of Gotham soon.

Tim will have to get close to keep an eye on him. You know, for the target's safety.

Dan is his identical twin, which means there are two beautiful boys out there. Tim thinks, checking over the twin's house location. It's thankfully on the outskirts of Gotham, where it's not exactly safe, but it sure as hell isn't Crime Alley. They should be okay as long as no one finds their home.

He choked on his coffee when a picture of Danny dressed like a K-pop star casually lodging on a chair drinking a coffee appears on his dash. Yeah, he can see how the guy ended up in modeling if he could make poses like that naturally.

"Red Robbin to everyone, we may want to keep an eye on the Fenton's. Don't want them taken by traffickers."

"Danny Fenton already fought off a kidnapping:" Jason responds in seconds with a slight sneer. His elder brother has always hated traffickers and rapists the most. " Some idiots tried to escape me by going into the Outskirts and saw Danny. They took their chance only to be taken out by the guy's tazer disguised as a bracelet."

He sends the family a photo of the incident, and Danny's unimpressed look at the three screaming men makes Tim's lips twitch. Maybe Gotham wasn't so different from Santa Prisca. Only someone used to danger so often found would be kidnapers annoying, and that island wasn't exactly the safest place to be.

Their mother died to get them out, after all.

"That's not all. He's also fought off three different gangs, none of the big players but enough to raise some brows," Babs adds, displaying a gang of Crime Alley kids running from a laughing Danny, a group of men and women wearing the red scorpion marks running from a laughing Danny and a second group of kids- slightly older but not older than Danny- all backing away from the ice Danny had encased himself in. "The first two he tricked into thinking Joker was about, and the last one he just froze himself until they got tired of shooting and went away."

"What about the other one?" Bruce asks.

"He doesn't leave the house, but he's been very active online. Mostly, he's looking up fashion articles or trends. Recently, his search is nothing but "What are twinks, and why are they hot?". I can't tell if that's a culture difference or if Dan is just weird."

"They are not trained," Damian says, an undertone of curiosity in his voice. "But they can defend themselves well and truly know their craft. Dan's designs for my animal theme challenge were exquisite. I will be commissioning the black German Shepherd suit he made. Ace and I will look divine at the next gala."

"I kind of want the bird dress," Steph cuts in with a chirp. "I know it's not purple, but it looked cool in concept. What bird breed did he pick for it?"

"It was the Lovebird," Damian answers. "Somehow his design was both elegant and accurate without seemingly childish as the bird it was based on."

Tim wonders if Damian may start to develop an interest in fashion or if he just appreciates drawings as an artist. "So should we be worried?"

"No. Fenton has unwillingly gathered too much attention online. People will notice if he disappears. Traffickers don't go for people that are easy to recognize." Jason sighs. "For now, they're safe, but not if Danny keeps wandering around like an easy target in those tailor outfits. He looks rich, even if it's only lower first class. That will attract a lot more muggings."

"Someone will have to get close to them-"

"I can do it!" Tim shouts, cutting off Bruce, then shrinks into his chair in mortification as the family chat dies. Trying to sound less eager, he hastily adds, "You know, since I'm benched. Light work to befriend the Fentons."

"Smooth Tim." Cass laughs over the coms with his other siblings snickering in the background, and sinks into his chair.

After a moment, Bruce sighs, "Alright, Tim, you can befriend one of them, but not until your turn to judge goes by. I don't want people claiming a conflict of interest there."

Hell yeah! Tim got the job!

"Of course, Bruce."

"And no flirting."

"Spoilsport"

alhaitham x mermaid! reader (3)

⤀ warnings: fem!reader, no pronouns mentioned, reader has hair long enough to be pinned a/n: recommended to read the previous parts first, since this is a direct continuation next ﾉ series masterlist ﾉ bonus (18+) ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓇼

When you first step foot into sumeru city’s grand bazaar, you're immediately taken aback by the atmosphere. It's too loud, feels too stifling— a far cry from the vast and silent depths of the ocean, or the peaceful serenity of the forest. Even port ormos, had at least a lovely sea breeze. But you've come so far, it'd be a waste not to experience this lively city to its fullest.

“This necklace should only be worn by someone as beautiful as you!”

“Ditch those drab clothes and come see this new fabric from liyue!”

“I guarantee these sunsettias are sweet like you!”

"Can I buy you a drink tonight?"

It's already a little dizzying to be so far inland, but the way all these humans vie for your attention, on top of the musicians and screaming children in the background… it’s a lot to take in so suddenly. Covering your ears helps a little, but not nearly enough to drown out the cacophony. You don’t even care to react when a strong arm wraps around your waist and leads you away.

Alhaitham guides you towards an isolated corner nearby, shooting a glare at any who dares look your way. He speaks to you in your native tongue; his pronunciation has become near flawless with your help.

“Are you alright?”

Both your head and your heart seem to settle a bit at the familiarity.

"It's a little much is all... just need some time to adjust."

To play it safe, alhaitham removes his soundproof earpieces, placing them on you instead, and switches it on to the lowest setting. He's no fan of the noise either, but he's used to it; he'll be fine.

"Oh isn't this beautiful? And i'm sure it'll look even better on me!"

Alhaitham rolls his eyes. You're gushing over a hairpin while he stands beside you, arms full carrying assorted jewelry, trinkets large and small, a carpet, and a basketful of zaytum peaches. Mermaids and their vanity and their affinity for pretty things… at least you’re helping the local economy.

However, there’s currently only one issue and it isn’t the mora— it's the merchant who has him blacklisted.

"That'll be two million mora for the hairpin."

Now that he cannot justify. It's well crafted and beautifully embedded with crystal ore, but definitely not worth even half of what dori is asking for; only a fool would pay that price. Underhanded as it may be, he manages to swipe a similar hairpin that peaks out from under the large pile of accessories. Besides, all the times lord sangemah bay has overcharged him on information sales is far from a mere two million mora.

Dinner at lambad’s is interrupted by a trio of colorfully clad men who seem to be on familiar terms with alhaitham. You had always read him as more of a loner, and had seemed to be correct in your assumptions until now.

"I have some business to attend to, but I'll be back shortly. In the meantime, these are my... acquaintances. You can trust them."

“Would it kill you to call us your friends?” says the intimidating, purple one.

The blonde one laughs into oblivion when he sees alhaitham leave with his arms full of your many purchases in tow.

…

“Ah, so you’re a diver. There’s a specific deep sea coral I’ve been dying to study, but it’s been impossible to get a sample. Would you be interested in working together? I'll be sure to compensate you well.”

You agree to tighnari’s proposal; it would be no trouble as the dragon bone coral he speaks of is easy to find if you know where to look. Across the table, cyno let's out a chuckle.

“You sea…,” a pause for dramatic effect, “you said ‘sure’ which can also be construed as ‘shore.’ As in, the land along the edge of the sea.”

Kaveh orders a round of firewater shots to drown out the pain of cyno’s terrible sense of humor. Unfortunately, alhaitham returns to find out you’re quite the lightweight.

…

He carries you on his back all the way home, listening to your drunken rambles along the way. You seemed to have had fun with his friends, but there’s a corner of his mind that can’t help but wonder if you now find him boring in comparison.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“Wanna know a secret?” you slur, giggling. “I enjoy the time I spend with you the most.”

With that said, you nuzzle closer into the crook of his neck and alhaitham feels his face heat up all the way to the tips of ears. Mermaids are proud and rarely ever reveal their true feelings, so he counts himself lucky to have heard yours. Your soft breathing tickles his skin. He’s glad you’re asleep now, knowing that you would’ve teased him again otherwise.

Once home, alhaitham sets you on the living room divan before leaving to prepare the bath. The aforementioned business he had to attend to, was purchasing salt. In bulk. He figured you’d need saltwater to rehydrate, as it’s been a few days since you’ve last been in any water. And a saltwater bath would surely be less of a hassle to deal with than a shriveled up mermaid.

The way your legs meld back into a tail is mesmerizing, especially with how your scales shimmer to life in the water. It quickly sobers you up. He’s about to leave but…

“Not even going to keep me company? I stayed with you all night at the cove you know.”

There it is. Alhaitham turns back around just in time to see the little grin on your face, as you rest your arms along the edge of the tub while your long tail hangs over the other end. He doesn’t know much of mermaid physiology but it’s enough to assume the saltwater, makeshift as it may be, has successfully sobered you up.

“I’m going to bed. You should get some sleep as well.”

“But I’m not tired.”

“I am. Goodnight.” And he leaves. Eventually, the man returns with a stack of books and papers.

“These are old studies I pulled from the akademiya regarding the dark sea. Since you’ve got the energy, mind fact checking? Just be careful not to get them wet.”

He sets them down on a nearby stool before a splash of water hits him right in the face.

“How about with some compensation then?” he says, pulling out the hairpin he had swiped from dori.

It’s similar to the one you had previously fawned over, though it’s laid with nagadus emerald instead, which he thought suited you much better than plain crystal ore. Unbeknownst to him, you had liked the first because its cyan stones reminded you of those he would toss in the water upon arriving at the cove. However, you adore this one for the way the emerald gems seem to match the very one sitting on his chest. You think you’ll cherish it forever.

“Will you put it on for me?”

His touch is surprisingly gentle, careful not to accidentally tug too hard. Alhaitham’s seen kaveh put up his hair enough times to replicate a simple style. Easier said than done as it turns out to be less than stellar, sitting slant and loose. At least he tried.

“Well? How does it look?”

Light reflects off the gems in your hair and into the water, casting an iridescent glow that bounces across the room, dancing onto your skin. Anyone could say that even the brightest of jewels dull in the face of your otherworldly beauty. Only he can say that in this moment, in his bathroom, you look more perfect than the moon shining through the window behind you.

“I think it’d look even more flattering if you were reading,” he glances down, “Enigmatic Depths: An Empirical Study of the Ocean and Beyond.”

Another splash of water hits his face.

a/n2: If you're already on the taglist, you'll be tagged for any future parts (just lmk if you'd like to be added/removed) ^^ I also kind of want to do an 18+ bonus part in the future, but no taglist for that since I don't want to jumpscare anyone lmao (unless you guys want one idk but have your age in bio pls) Anyways, thank you for reading ♡

© silkjade — do not steal, plagiarize, translate or repost any content onto any other platform

Them as your Valentine

• OP Men HC • (Fluff)

Characters: Monster Trio, Usopp, Law

CW: some uggestive content, fluff, bit of humor

Cee’s Note: A bit late but Happy Valentine’s Day!!🫶🏽 Hope y’all had a wonderful Valentine’s.

Luffy

Didn’t even know Valentine’s day was a thing 😭

When he noticed you pouting and distant he was so confused until Nami practically smacked him and told him

After it was explained to him, Luffy would practically run all over the ship trying to find you

When he does find you he tackles you and wraps his arms around you in a tight hug

“Luffy what the-“

“Hehe will you be my valentine or are you still mad at me?”

Luffy won’t make big gestures but he definitely will be extra clingy and affectionate

Giving you lots of kisses and holding you close to him at all times

He will show you (more ways than one) how much he loves you 🥹

Zoro

Didn’t know that he still had to ask you to be his valentine even though you two were already together 😭

“Why do I have to ask? You’re my girlfriend”

“You still have to ask 😒”

“But why-“

“You don’t love me 😢”

Finally asked you only after you threatened to make Sanji your valentine 😭

Is knew to the whole romance thing so don’t expect huge gestures

At best he gave you flowers that he stole got from Usopp’s garden sgshdj

Even though it’s not much, he definitely will make up for it later that night in the bedroom 🤭

Sanji

Oh he was prepared for this 🤭

He asked you to be his valentine even before you even thought about it

The entire day feels like something out of a romance movie

He wakes you with heart shaped pancakes and a bouquet of flowers

Literally spent all his berries on gifts for you such as a neckace and a beautiful dress with shoes to match

After begging the rest of the crew to not interfere, he prepared a candle lit dinner just for the two of you

He is literally the perfect valentine and you were ready to get on your knees by the end of the night to show your gratitude 🌝

Usopp

Even though you two been a couple for a while, usopp still felt nervous asking you to be his valentine 🥺

He crafted a big heart spelling out “Be my Valentine” in his workshop for you

He also made you a bracelet he crafted himself

He may embellish a bit about the bracelet by telling his signature captain usopp stories sgdhdj

“Oh this isn’t an ordinary bracelet”

“Oh?”

“Yeah it was personally gifted to me from this queen from an island. It was a thank you for saving her kingdom by none other than I, the great captain Usopp!”

“🧍🏽‍♀️”

He’s lucky he is cute lol

Law

Just like Zoro, he doesn’t understand why he has to ask you to be his valentine when you two were already together

Even when you pout he still will think you’re being silly

You will practically give him the silent treatment all day and he acts unbothered by it but deep down he started to miss your presence while he worked

Will show up at your bedroom door when you least expect it with a sheepish look on his face and a book behind his back

After hesitantly taking the book, you were pleasantly surprised to find it filled with love poems

“Look on the back of the book”

You read it aloud:

“ ‘Sorry for being an ass. You mean so much to me. Even with your sass, my love for you will never flee.’”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the terribly written poem which caused Law’s cheeks to tint red, claiming he was a doctor not a poet shdhjddn

Nonetheless you gave him a kiss and spent the rest of your Valentine’s night under the sheets 😉

HERE YE ALL HIGH ROLLER'S HIGH ROLLER FANS

so for like, the 2 people paying attention to me talking about my "secret project" on my main blog, i hope you like the result, because my december project has been...

LOW BALLERS!!!!!!!!!

ive been quietly painting ducks and creating myself a trio of little guys over the last, hm, 2? 3 weeks?

i dont even rember. but ive been planning this for months, i just didnt have time around university to do it til now.

BUT i had so much fun with these. painting ducks is surprisingly fun and it all went really well! i think the only issue is the only hats i could get had a straw texture already applied.

i used silver for details, mostly because i forgot to buy white and i thought id see how silver looked so i could dodge trying to buy more paint at christmas, and it looked good on the first so i stuck with it!

for those curious: i used white racing ducks (means they dont squeak or squish, but i think thats ideal for a painting project) and plastic hats designed for dolls and crafts. and wine bottles toppers, according to the terrible names that these get on amazon. with acrylic paints and superglue to affix the hats down. they aren't waterproof, sorry to the belivers.

heres a turnaround for ya'll too, i added some goofy details like sparkles around the glasses and the hat. its a tragedy i couldnt get metallic paints for the hat.

i think thats all ive got to say, hope everyone else likes my little guys the way i do :3 now on to make more until i have an undefeatable army of them...

more images under the read more!

THE GREATCOATS by Sebastien de Castell

I drew these up as one of the (mostly literary) paper figures I do each month for Patreon.

Despite always being drawn to the trappings of fantasy, there are precious few fantasy books (or movies, etc) that have resonated with me. One very notable exception is the Greatcoats series, four novels that follow a trio of comrades from an effectively-dissolved band of dueling magistrates, who, in their heyday, had been charged with enforcing unpopular verdicts against politically powerful folks who had, until that point, been untouchable by the rule of law.

It’s kind of a thrust-the-Musketeers-into-a-medieval-setting thing, and there are swordfights and sucked-into-political-intrigues-even-though-you’re-ill-suited-towards-them a’plenty, for folks who like that sort of thing, and I very much do.

From the first read (I’ve now read them all thrice, along with a collection of short stories), these have become some of my very favorite books, and I could not recommend them more highly. They can, at times, be a hard read; the world in which the Greatcoats live is an unjust one, and whatever terrible things you can imagine people doing (torture, sexual assault, murder, animal cruelty, etc) can and probably are enacted in it, but what has, to me, set this series apart from some other “grim” fantasies is the balance between the knowledge that the world is an unfair, cruel, and terrible place, with the wholehearted belief that it shouldn’t, and doesn’t have to be. Idealism colors every action of the leads, and there’s something incredibly moving and powerful about characters who persevere against impossible odds towards fairness and justice despite encountering the very worst examples of their absence, never in ignorance or denial but out of pure stubbornness.

De Castell crafts a narrative with masterful control over how it’ll affect the reader; it’s melodrama in the best way, with huge operatic emotional beats. They never feel calculated – they’re all earnest, and they’re all earned. There are sections that make you weep, that make you laugh, and (I suspect this is the rarest, and most difficult to achieve) that make you want to cheer, stomp, salute. Moving speeches, incredible narrative payoffs, characters for whom you desperately root. Plus, of course, the suspense of peril and the best action sequences I’ve ever encountered in prose. De Castell’s first-person narration of fight scenes from the point of view of a strategist follows a pretty wonderful pattern of beginning the fight, edging the audience, and then turning to an aside that informs the context of the fight - a lesson learned long ago, an observation about the human condition, a technique frequently incorporated by duelists, an anecdote – and then return to the fight, the new context both heightening the peril and also providing a means by which the reader can fully appreciate the very clever way that the hero(s) win despite being outmatched. It’s a great internal “meanwhile, back at the ranch” and it gives each action encounter (and they are joyously plentiful) narrative weight.

Again, I can’t recommend the series more highly. It has some truly great characters – the leads, the supporting cast, the villains are wonderful and terrible, and the setting is rich and immersive. De Castell describes it as “swashbuckling fantasy,” and it swashbuckles its heart out.

You can get it in print, or in unabridged audiobook (Audible has it, and probably your library does, too), wonderfully narrated by Joe Jameson.

There are a number of other great characters, too – co-leads in their own right – but to draw them is to provide spoilers, so rather than do a whole cast, as I sometimes do, I’ve stuck to the three that you get from the first page.

Design (for process buffs)

There’s not too much visual description about the characters; Kest is described as of average height and build, with short hair, Brasti has hair long enough to tie back and a beard and is tall… and I think that’s it (at least so far as I’ve noticed, or remember).

There’s a tendency to make archers lean and wiry – it compliments the arrow imagery, and a tight, sinewy form seems a carryover of the bowstring to its user, but I wanted Falcio to be lean and triangular, and stoic Kest to be square, so it got me thinking that Brasti ought to have rounder features to offset and compliment the others. He’s a country boy, too, and where I’m from the troublemakers are often a little meatier, so it felt fitting, though it does suggest that he's physically imposing in a way the stories don’t push. But I kind of like that beefy, country swagger he’s got. He’s carrying two bows, as it’s a plot point that he has bows for different purposes: a fast one, and a powerful one.

The eponymous coats were tricky; they’re practically magic; serving as armor (via little bone plates sewn under the leather) and utility belt, with little pockets for whatever the story may require the characters need. I wanted a way to make them modular, so I figured on making a pretty sturdy chest piece that folds back to allow the coat to be open and unbuttoned, and a rolled epaulet that unrolls and can be used as a gorget to protect the neck during a duel (or from the cold).

I wanted each of the characters to be able to wear the coat differently, to reflect their personalities: Kest, always at the ready and doing things the “right” way, has his greatcoat fully rigged. Byronic Falcio needs to be able to dash about with tragic romanticism, so his coat needs to be a little more open – I probably should’ve had the chestpiece partially unflapped ala the Rocketeer, but I also wanted it to read clearly. And Brasti wears his because he has to, so he has all the trappings tied or buttoned back.

Last Thoughts

For artist and writer pals, I’d highly recommend listening to any of De Castell’s interviews on podcasts or on youtube; he’s generous with his process and has a lot of great thoughts about the act of writing.

✨️Dice Mail!✨️

My chocolate dice set from @terribletriocreations on Etsy came today and oh my gosh, look at how lovely they are! Excuse my horrible photo, but I love them so much! 💖

They're for my newest DnD character, his name is Ambrosia or Roro/Rosia for short. He's a homebrew fey Tiefling Warlock, created by his Archfey patron, who is heavily based on Willy Wonka and is partially made out of sweets/desserts 🍭

Bottom dice picture belongs to Terrible Trio Crafts

Character art by Cryptid Keef

fic recs pls (part 1)

I am in need of long (don’t actually know what qualifies as long, 10k+ words?), complete (or not) dsmp (mainly sbi) or Life Series fanfic recommendations. I have read so many and I am trying to find more to soothe the brain itch.

Here are several that I have read, if you’re looking for fic recs yourself :)

Dream SMP (SBI)

tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillains by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) — [26/26 chapters, 189k words] aka “clinic”. A superhero au from Tommy’s pov where he’s just chillin with his healing powers and then he heals a villain and then gets sucked into it. He also gets attached to this Wilbur guy that visits the coffee shop he works at.

the world forgetting by the world forgot by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) — [21/21, 165k words] A superhero au from Tommy’s pov where he is the hero Dream’s sidekick and has terrible amnesia, forgetting the entirety of what happened the year before. The Syndicate, a band of villains, is looking for something that was stolen from them.

Hush Now (You Were Lost But Now You’re Found) by CorpseArt — [Incomplete, 56/?, 301k] A superhero AU where Tommy was Dream's sidekick and made it his entire person, and then Dream kicks him out of the Hero Corp. Tommy needs to figure out what the fuck is going on, bc there's no way Dream would just do that, even if he did protect the villain Siren. Their one rule is to not kill. Also he meets this funky man named Wilbur at a coffee shop and they become besties. (Pogtopia my absolute beloved.)

say you’re open by remrose — [9/9, 43k] A magic AU from Wilbur’s pov where he finds this kid unconscious on the floor if his shop after attending his mother’s funeral, obviously bearing the marks of intense chaos magic. He takes care of the kid. He also gets sold a mysterious object. The twinsduo here makes my heart sing. Also Phil is kind of like “you are mildly breaking the law” and Neapolitan trio just shrug.

Technoblade’s Entirely Average Babysitting Gig by opheliabloo — [3/3, 34k] A Techno pov fic where he is in college and needs money. A really shady family is offering like 20k for babysitting for 3 hours or something absurd like that, and him being a money-hungry college student, he ventures to this house in the middle of nowhere to take care of gremlin children that try to kill him.

His Curse of Binding by bari_astralis (orphan_account) — [30/30, 144k words] A foster au from Tommy’s pov where he is reincarnated into different Greek hero stories and he needs to figure out who this time’s story is before his sixteenth birthday. Featuring: Complicated SBI bonding, (minor) Clementine being a girlboss, bench trio being absolutely precious, allium duo making fun of each other but alsok being so damn precious, Linda Smith and Miss Allingham bashing (you’ll understand when you read it, I hate their guts), and generally trying to find your peace in life.

Breathing’s Just a Rhythm by MollyPollyKinz — [53/53, 186k] A time travel canon-divergent fic where Tommy, Schlatt, Dream, Tubbo, and The Voices travel from Exile era back to Pogtopia-Manburg era, and they've gotta fix the shitty world and avoid Dream at all fucking costs. Relationship building happens, and the Voices are the best character to ever exist in all literature.

the from ice to water series by Drhair76, plantform — [12 works, 157k words] The main fic is icing those hurts, but my personal favorite is hailing on you. An ice skating au fic centered around found family and belonging in a place without harm. In the main fic, Tommy gets healed, but in hailing on you, Wilbur gets healed and it's so sweet <3

holding onto nothing by remrose -- [20/20, 71k] A mainly Techno pov fic, twinsduo centric. adhd and autistic techno, and his mom is a bitch. He goes to the Crafts for help and it's terribly sweet but also pretty angsty. At times this fic has literally been my lifeblood, like my support system in keeping me alive. I love it so much.

My Faithless Hoax by phantom_star739 -- [24/24, 105k] A supernatural? (fae, vampire, siren) crimeboys centric fic with mild political aspects. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's amazing.

Fic recs part 2!

I know nothing about the DmD trio other than from your blog... But you already know how in love with the Tinman I am XD I had to send an ask for my random few thoughts.

- please- indulge me for a moment. You know that ship dynamic of the gentle giant and the overprotective short stack? That's what I've been imagining with Tinny. Him getting an S/O who is smaller than him (though that wouldn't be hard, I guess XD), but I will absolutely throw hands on his behalf. If he could without hurting them, he could pick them up and set them aside before dealing with the danger himself. Because he'll fight for them too ^^ (Also made me think; If Scarcrow got a Tinman's second in command!S/O and Lion has a Scarecrows assistant!S/O, what if Tinny got a Lions best warriors!S/O? Assuming he has his own army. Or someone associated with Lion?)

- TINMAN FEELING SO GUILTY WHEN HE ACCIDENTALLY CUTS YOU AND APOLOGIZING SO PROFUSELY, EXPECTING YOU TO YELL AT HIM LIKE DOROTHY, ONLY FOR YOU TO ASSURE HIM THAT YOU KNEW HE DIDNT MEAN IT 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- In general; Tinny knowing what it's like to be loved through you ^^ and just- realizing he's no longer in an abusive relationship the longer you two are together 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you don't yell and insult him, you don't order anything from him, and you never expect him to commit terrible crimes for you. You just want your lovely tin man <3

- Imagine taking in interest in his crafting hobby and sitting with him, or even asking him to teach you! Even if you just want to enjoy his company and have no desire for metal bending, Tinny will be so so so happy and elated to have you here with him ^^

- KISSING TIN!!!!! Holding his cold, metal face delicately while rubbing a thumb along his cheek, maybe brushing against his sharp overbite, your guys' eyes filled with love for each other before you lean in and carefully press your lips against his needle like teeth and lips??? SIGN ME UP! 📃📃📃📃📃

- TIN BEING TOUCH STARVED TIN BEING TOUCH STARCED TIN BEING TOUCH STARVED-

(.... Uh... *cough* I'm not sure if Tinny still has the ~equipment~ or the ~desire~, but you can try to grind on a smooth part of him, or convince him to get extensions. I'm certain he'll want to make happy in bed as well 😏 ok bye-)

- hm... Ngl I'm already wondering what a Yan!DmD!Tinny would be like... I have no self control 😅 of course you know his character more than me, but I like the idea that if he truly went full yandere mode, completely love struck with someone more hopelessly than with Dorothy, he would be more persistent in gaining their affections. It feels like with Dorothy that he'll try something with her, she'll hurt him, and he'll give her some space before trying again. And was slowly realizing that she didn't love him, before Glinda stepped in. But he still hasn't given up. Can you imagine how amplified that'd be if he were yandere?? Maybe even fully deluded that you'll love him instead of just listening to what others tell him? 🤔 what do you think? If you want to comment.

All I've got for now XD as you can see, in my mind, we're already married, live in a cottage in the woods, and are raising three robot children that we built togetger XD (omg this is another example of us falling in love with partner characters(?) You have Scarecrow, and I have Tin... It sounds like we might share Lion though XD) I hope these make you smile! ^^

THIS MADE ME COMBUST.

C OM B U S T.

I- HMMMMMM *BUZZING FROM EXCITEMENT* WHERE DO I EVEN START-

Okay first of all OMG YES!! It is another Norman/Wayne / Psycho/Greasy / Granny/Big Bad kinda situation!! 🤣🤣🤣 I love this, I love that we do this XD YESS Lion is like Wheezy, we both love him and need to appreciate him more XD

And second of all- YES! TIN MAN IS GONNA GET A FIC WHERE HIS S/O IS CLOSE TO THE LION! THAT WAS THE PLAN FROM THE START! XD I love sympatry.

Okay okay okay now onto your actual points- I must take a deep breath first XD

... hoo, okay. Let go.

Gentle Giant/Over Protective Short Stack: Yessss 🥺🥺🥺 Oh boy, does he need it. He needs someone who will CROSS the throne room the millisecond that Dorothy crosses the line and curse at her like a sailor like how DARE you!?- And that second part?? Tin picking his crazy small S/O up (Very carefully, with those fingers of his) and placing them somewhere to the side (Maybe into the arms of one of his tin soldiers- yes, he has entire army fully at his command. They're tin/biology hybrids frankensteined together by Scare) before Dealing with the situation himself. I can see it so clearly it is making my heart ache. Tin scooping you up, saying 'thank you, spring blossom (he'd use all sortsa cringy cute names like that genuinely XD ), but please, please let me handle this for you. The last thing we want is for you to be hurt', and carefully passing you off to another soldier he trusts. He carefully pushes some of your hair behind your ear, then turns back to the threat; straightens up to his f u l l building-like height, and takes care of shit. And the whole time, he wouldn't let even one piece of whoever he's Taking Care Of to hit you (The man is THOROUGH).

Tin Accidentally Hurting S/O:

He was on his knees, again. You told him a million times he doesn't need to do that, but the sweet, dramatic man just cant help himself. And honestly? You don't mind it, actually- You can kiss him and fluster him a lot easier this way. But this time?? This time he was on his knees profusely apologising. And you couldn't take it!! There was no need!! He just accidentally sliced you across the cheek with one of his fingers- he didn't mean to, and you both know it! You hear Dorothy give a snigger from her throne nearby, baring witness to this. You also see the Scarecrow drops his head backwards and sigh heavily at the display- but you don't care about Tin's so-called friends. You care about Tin. You take Tin's big metal head in your hands. " -so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I can do better. I would never, ever fetter your perfect skin on purpose- " "I know, I know." Instead of insisting he don't be silly and he cant help it sometimes!!, which is what you want to do!, you focus on calming him. Because everyone is watching, and he's probably mortified. You just want him to be okay. "Please Tin, its fine. Everyone knows you wouldn't hurt me on purpose." There's a hint of panic in his voice when he speaks next, a little quieter; following your lead and acting as if its just you two, here. Just him, and you. Safe. "Someone might think they could care for you better then me." "Doesn't matter." You whisper. "I know, they couldn't."

Having a Healthy Relationship with Tin: My heart <3 Yes! I can see him struggling with that- even before Dorothy went bad he was willing to give her anything. But imagine any time he offers you something, you're like 'oh that sounds nice! good idea Tin! lets do it together ^^' and leading him off before he can protest. And he s l o w l y starts to feel so so comfortable with you <3<3

"Moon flower, could I get you a drink?" "Oh yeah, I'd love one! Thank you! ^^ Lets go, and we'll get you some oil as well, love." *connecting arms and towing him towards the kitchens* *Eyes wide* "Oh- but I'm fin- " "I can hear you squeaking. Lets go!~ " *gentle voice* "You don't need to worry about me, my love." "No, I don't need to, but I don't mind." *pats his arm gently*

Crafting Together: WAHHHHHHHH, JUST IMAGINING SITTING THERE NEXT TO HIM WATCHING IN UTTER ADORATION AND AWE AND HE DOESNT EVEN NOTICE, JUST ENJOYS TELLING YOU ABOUT HIS THING, UNTIL LATER LION MENTIONS HE SAW YOU HIM AND 'YOUR LADY FRIEND LOOKED BESOTTED, OLD FRIEND'

Kissing, Affection & Sex: Yes yes yes kissing Tin <3<3<3 Oh my goodness. Cupping his large face and stroking his cheeks, leaving feather-light kisses all over his smooth metal cheeks and underbite, gently scraping your nails down his chest or any other smooth part of him and he SHUDDERS (I don't know how physical feeling works for him, especially since Scare was able to pop open his chest and enhance his heart without Tin feeling a thing but when Amy sliced it open it hurt him, but I don't care. It works. It is all in working order because I say so XD), curling your fingers between tangled springs and wires and hearing him gasp, kissing the side of his pointy nose, absentmindedly and gently sliding your finger along the dull side of each of his fingers, etc. Him stroking the dull side of his pointer fingers under your chin when he wants you to look up so he can see your pretty face, him being afraid to touch you or kiss you himself but asking you to touch/kiss him, him raising his hips or his leg (Or wherever you've deemed it safe to rub yourself) in an effort to make it feel better for you- aghhhhh XD I'm not okay XD

And- EXTENSIONS?? Omg yes he would absolutely do that for his S/O XD You wouldn't even have to ask man!! He'd anticipate it, once you two actually got together!! XDD But like, the thing thats getting me here?? SCARECROW IS THE ONE WHO'LL HAVE TO MAKE THOSE ADJUSTMENTS XDD

"I'm sorry, uh, old friend, let me just... let me see if I fully understand. You want to...? " "I want to make some necessary improvements to my body for the sake of my human love's pleasure. At night." "... uhuh. And that means?" "I would like to be fitted with the tool's a human man has, or something better, for- " *impatient with Tin's awkward pussy footing* "Are you asking me to attach a Dick to you, Tin Woodman!???" "... Yes. Will you do it?" "... Fine... For Science."

Yandere Tin Woodman!!!!!: Oooooookay. I'm struggling to gather my thoughts here XD To an extent, I think Woody is actually already kindof Yandere XD I mean, before Dorothy even shows her 'true colours' herself, he's doing some not-so-above-board things for her. Like forcing his people (The Winky's) to walk for days non stop to the Emerald palace to be her army. And then, when she seems displeased, letting Scarecrow do what he wants with them (He's shocked when he finds out WHAT Scare did with them, which was Frankenstein them of course (which killed a good portion of them before he got the procedure Right), but he was miraculously easy to convince that it was a good idea when Scare and Glinda said Dorothy would like it). As well as letting Scarecrow adjust Tin's own heart with magic For Dorothy. So... yeah, to an extent, Tin is already obsessed with getting her to like him. But if he was All The Way Yandere like you're thinking... oh boy.

There would be no getting away. Remember how he's got a whole army at his disposal?? And d u n g e o n s??? 👀 Yeah. He'd be like 'I know you don't love me yet, and it is painful my sunlit dandelion, but you will eventually. You'll fall for me, eventually'.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!! Aghhhh, you're really enabling me here XD

Probably The Top 10 Characters of 2023

It's time for the hardest top 10 list of the year, deciding who my top 10 characters of the year are. I am a very character focused writer and GM and that translates to my enjoyment of art too. I love characters and it's so hard to pick between the amazing swath of fantastic characters I read this year. Lowering the list down after eliminating stuff I had the list at like over 20 characters so getting this down to 10 was an exercise in self doubt. Of all of these lists this really is the list that I want to thin about next year and see what characters I am still thinking about in one years time. Unlike my other lists this is not even roughly in any order it simply is the 10 characters that at the moment I was writing this I managed to cut a list down to. My 45th character at this moment might be number 2 tomorrow and you can't see my 45th character, you can only see 10.

Mary Satome [Kaguri Twins]

I watched this early in the year but Mary stuck with me. She's funny, she's clever, she is messy, she's an asshole, she's sweet, she's passionate and determined and I just want the best for her and her girlfriends. It's rare to see a woman be as messy as her and remain the main character but she gets to both be kinda noble and heroic while also clearly being self motivated.

Prospera Mercury [gwitch]

Easily mother of the year, Prospera Mercury is a litness test for me on someone's taste and makes for an easy read on if someone will have utterly trash politics or not. If Prospera was a man she would probably be one of the most beloved characters in anime as a passionate loving mom who tries to teach her child hard lessons and is willing to do anything to give her child freedom and get her revenge. However, she is not a guy so from the start everyone suspected she was awful and abusive and terrible when the text never not even at the end supports it, she is mean to Sulleta exactly once and that is so she is not an accomplice to her crimes in case she ends up getting stopped.

Tilty Claret  [MagiRevo]

My favorite "side" character of the year has to be Tilty, this little freak. Tilty is sweet, she's kind, she deserves a girlfriend, two girlfriends, she should be dating Anise and Euphy. She is funny, she's well used, she does great emotional support and understands Anise so well, I love her so much and I love how loyal and great she is to the people she loves. I love her sciencey freaky attitude too she's just great.

Honey Trap [Super Women In Love]

Villain to Hero Honey Trap is utterly endearing. She starts as simply simping for Rapid Rabbit but it's fun to watch her evolve as a character and as a person over the course of the manga. She's sweet, endearing and brutal at all the right times. She's so gay and really funny, and she is really a perfect protagonist for this romantic comedy action yuri series. She's such a perfectly crafted character who can really command a range from serious threat to tragic damsel to Hero to gay little goof ball all while feeling like the same consistent character.

Satya [Pink Sugar]

Satya comes in with an air of mystery but this trans lesbian swiftly shows how quickly someone can go from sexy mystery to beloved dork. Satya gets a lot of the most soft and sweet moments with her future girlfriends getting to be someone to listen to them, to ask questions as an outsider to the trio and to be the inciting incident to get them to go on their wild road trip to begin with. I am really curious where her story will go but it would be lying to say she hasn't already endeared herself to the top of my list despite being probably the least focused on girl of the quad so far.

Shadowheart [BG3]

BG3 has a lot of good characters, great characters even and that is in spite of it being attached to one of the worst IPs around D&D. Shadowheart stood out to me among the many characters of a character who had queerness as part of her character done well despite being a player sexual character and I think she has the most dramatic character arc of the batch on her good path. Shadowheart starts as a catty Mormon girl and evolves into this kind heroic adventurer who you could see saving the world many more times.

Adalia [En Garde!] 

While En Garde! might be a short 3 hour romp all three hours with Adalia are perfectly used. She's funny, charming, cute, and heroic. She's fitting a very classic archtype but is a spin on it by having it both be a woman but also be queer. These two factors do add to Adalia's charm, the gay side lets us see her enter dork mode where she is very gay for a sexy pirate woman and her animations change and she makes worse decisions then snap out of it when it's what needs to happen to help people. She's utterly lovely and a true delight.

Nova [Spellastra]

While almost every character here has a bit of a silly side, I can appreciate a more dramatic character. Nova is a character covered in tragedies, of angst, of wanting to love but feeling unable, she's rough and prickly and messy and makes bad choices but they all make a lot of sense for where she is at in any given moment. Nova is at once the older mentor who knows what to do but also the love interest who's fucked up plenty of times and blames herself even more than she ever should. Nova's a testament to the depth and layers you can really give a character while having her be lovable and desirable and still fit in for more fun moments while having these hard edges.

Jala [Thirsty Suitors]

Speaking of messy queers we have the disaster bisexual herself Jala. She's a character I really wanna dive deeper into because I think there is so much to Jala and the game does a pretty good job at leaving a lot of space for my brain to get cooking about why Jala is like this while also explaining a lot of why Jala is like this. Jala has hurt a lot of people, like most of the people in her life and her path to make it right with everyone is great. We get to see where other people fucked up, what complicated situations, where she grows and where she stands firm. Jala is a really perfectly envisioned character with a cast weaved so perfectly around her that every interaction is splendor to behold.

Astra [Grand Slam Romance]

Astra's on a quest to fuck every woman on the planet and more power to her. Astra is kinda the villain of the first book but she's also the romantic lead which places her in an interesting position in the story where we see her at her worst, we get to understand how she got there and we are cheering for her to tone it down like 10%. I am fully biased in my love for her and I make no excuses for it. Astra is designed exactly like many of my OCs with a personality similar to a lot of my OCs, I love everything about her, I want her great success and I look forward to people telling me I ripped her off even if I made characters like her like 10 years ago and have a record of it. I love her and I just wanna see more of her.

If you want to help me enjoy more art then consider checking out my Patreon or Ko-fi .and giving me a little bit of cash so I can do more of this kind of writing but also like make lots of my own art, art is hard to make and costs money and like maintain my chronically ill and trans body also takes money so anything helps, thank you.

'Vorpal Blade'

Polished, unpainted, and inedible.

These are currently available for pre order! The link is in the name.

"Shut up"-rubric

So, Lin Kuei. A clan of assassins in the service of the Earthrealm. Dangerous and secretive masters of their craft.

And they are absolutely incompetent in this very craft.

As they say: "I'll write down every minute who sucked a dick where" (с)

Let's just say - yes, Lin Kuei are hired killers, just like in the old timeline. Why? They are the defenders of their homeworld, a noble clan!.. Shut up and answer yourself a couple of important questions - what means do they exist for and how do they earn a living. To maintain the work of a complex organization, resources are needed - first of all, money. It is necessary to maintain a base (a temple or something else), train fighters, maintain a staff of informants, buy ammunition and medicines, weapons, equipment and everything else. All this requires funds. And Lin Kuei clearly does not enjoy the support of any state, does not produce something independently on a sufficient scale, they do not have the opportunity to be completely self-sufficient. So, probably, their mercenary activity is literally what allows them to survive, develop and prepare for the defense of the Earthrealm. To draw an analogy, this is similar to the system shown in Naruto, where ninja villages also traded contracts of varying complexity, so they literally had something to survive on. However, they were ready to defend the interests of their country, and this was literally their goal.

And if we have dealt with this, then we will move on.

There is every reason to believe that the main trio of Lin Kuei - Bi Han, Kuai and Tomas, are masters in their profession, with enough experience and knowledge to be considered professionals. Secretive, deadly, able to use both their combat power and the skills of quiet killers, isn't it true?

Not true.

And the trailer of Lin Kuei in all its glory shows his incompetence.

Let's start with the little things - the equipment. A specialist is as good as his tools are good. And the trailer throws us in the face…

…this.

In another frame (if you have seen an exclusive fragment of the story clip), you can see how massive this telescope is. Ergonomics? No, thanks.

Where do you wear it, dear? There are no pockets, no pouches, nothing on your uniform. Why complicate your life (and worsen the review) by using an unambiguously outdated device? Your new era is clearly the twenty-first century. Or is Lin Kuei in such a dire financial situation?

But okay, the equipment is not such a terrible mistake, and he could take it anywhere, take it from a corpse, for example. How about how Lin Kuei warriors act in practice?

Answer: it's fucked up.

Here we see the fortress where they are making their way. Knowing that there are opponents there (again, this was shown in an exclusive fragment). In the daytime. Wait until dark or dusk? No? Why didn't they do it? Okay, it's possible that they were hurried by time, but even so, they chose literally the most illuminated fucking wall for climbing. Although it is clear that there are enough shadow areas where they would not be so noticeable in their colored clothes. Especially Scorpion is just the pinnacle of invisibility (sarcasm) in his bright yellow robe.

Despite the fact that they clearly have no problem with climbing. You have a cryomancer, you have a flying dude. You have the owner of the longest damn rope for climbing up. The relief of the wall clearly did not play a decisive role here. It's just that our nice fools don't think with their heads.

Well, to hell with it, with this wall, they may have chosen a place with the least security (which is doubtful), but what do they do once inside, in the courtyard of the fortress?

They are literally walking in the most open place. If there were no plot necessity, they would have been noticed in no time, raised the alarm and stuffed with arrows for a change.

Stay in the shade, use shelters and landscape features, almost any sane person will say. Bullshit, we will do stupid things, the "professional killers" from Lin Kuei will tell you.

But Bi Han's behavior raises even more questions here. We're not even going to talk about the ice tackle, which he did for some shit without any need. Let's remember about the murder he commits in the frame.

A soldier in armor with an open neck, but with a breastplate. How to secretly kill him? So that he died quickly and quietly, without attracting attention to himself?

WELL, OF COURSE, TO POKE AN ICE KNIFE INTO THE MOST PROTECTED PART OF THE ARMOR, HOW DID YOU NOT GUESS

Bi Han, dear, it seems you are no stranger to taking people's lives quickly and quietly. Why didn't you punch him in the throat, which would have been safer and faster? He was standing with his back to you, you couldn't have known one hundred percent that your knife would pierce his armor. Why are you embarrassing yourself so much? You're a fucking professional.

Damn, we understand that it's really not the fault of the characters. But all their stupid actions really look very funny and sad. Well-coordinated, well-honed work would be much more spectacular than these pathetic attempts. In the end, it's simple… it's a sad sight. And once again, Lin Kuei are exposed as just stupid people who can only engage in head-on collisions, which negates their role as hired secretive killers.

Museum

Thought process: OK hear me out. What if the Dream SMP events happened in real life? And they have a history museum dedicated to it. And they have wax figures of ALL the people on the SMP. One day the reader gets stuck in the museum after staying late. The people who were closing did a terrible job at their job. But as soon as the doors close the figures come alive. Story: The sun peeked out from behind the building. The Utah sun retries early I guess. The museum you were standing in looked as if it needed to be retired too. The town in general looked like it needed a makeover. At least the old retirees that live here are nice. When you got closer you saw the large oak doors had stained glass instead of windows. As you walked up the stairs to the doors to make it easier to see to colorful windows. They showed stories of people with colorful glass shards. You pushed open the tall oak doors to be greeted with an overly dusty entrance room. There was a woman around 50 sitting at the desk on her phone. She didn't notice you as you walked up to the counter and placed a five-dollar bill on the round desk. She didn't even notice when you walked right past her and into the museum. Right, when you walked past the desk you are met with the long hallways filled with glass cases that are filled with pieces of clothing and smaller items from the war-filled area. But what caught your attention was the large room right behind the desk. It had high-vaulted ceilings with large sunlight windows in the rafters. They were casting the last of the dusty afternoon sun into the room. 'wow' Was the only thing that entered your mind. The areas around the room were pushed in creating small half-rooms inside with extremely well-crafted wax figures. The first one to catch your eye was a tall brunette. He stood in a red and blue uniform holding an iron-like sword in his hands. His curly hair fell over his glasses and glass eyes that looked too real for a figure. A blonde teenager was standing behind him wearing the same uniform and clutching his arm while a red liquid stained his uniform. Across the room stood three men one wielding a sword. The second held a hand with a lit lighter out in front of him his eyes blazed a brilliant orange. Lastly, the third held a bow drawn back and pointed across the hall at the blonde boy. You stood frozen in between the five gazing around the room at the history in front of you. The next room had a male standing above a button hand hovering above it. Their sunglasses slid down his nose showing their pure white eyes. Across from the man, three people stood baking what looked to be cupcakes. The girl had pink hair and one of the men had blue and red colored glasses and close to no hair. Behind them sat what looked to be a fox-hybrid who sat nibbling on a pale-colored cupcake. On a pillar in the middle of the room stood a man with goat horns curling around his goat-like ears one hand lifted over the podium. His mouth was open as if he was giving an important speech. At the bottom of the pillar stood another man with large golden wings his arms folded across his chest smiling. Behind them stood two older-looking males. One with large black wings spread wide and the other had the skull of what looked to be a pig. The next room had two people in it a very tall male with his skin split down the middle black on one side and white on the other. The next was still odd he was very short and had the same goat features as the man on the podium. As you marvel at the room you didn't hear the lady at the desk get up and lock the doors leaving or the sun finally tucking under the horizon till you felt something wizz past the back of your head. Your head snapped to the right back toward the people in uniform. They stood moved from their original positions. They stood there blinking at the newcomer. You saw the arrow planted into the ivory floor that was originally in the bowman's bow and turned to look at the trio across from the boys. The blue-clad man had redrawn his bow but it was pointed at the floor. The other two men had let their weapons fall to their sides. You spun around the room the see all the figures were moving. The man on the podium lowered his hands and closed his mouth the stare at you. "Who are you?" the green-clad man asked in a loud voice walking up to you. The brunette in uniform walked up on the other side of you. "Y-y/n, my name is Y/n," you muttered focusing on the blonde's stunningly bright green eyes. They looked too real for glass. The brunette looked up and pulled the green man away from you. While they were talking you took it as a chance to stare at all the wax figures who now staring back at you. The pink-haired lady looked over at you and gave you a small wave. Of course, you gave a small wave back. You turned back toward the tall males and caught the last of their conversation. "Should we take her to XD?" Wilbur asked ignoring you and turning to the blonde. "Yes, probably. Tommy stay here and babysit Schlatt he looks drunk again," the teen grumbled but walked over to the podium. The brunette grabbed a hold of her wrist and started walking out of the room. The blonde trailing behind but catching up and grabbing your other hand. They still pulled you down one of the long hallways. They as in more the brunette than the blonde pulled you down a hallway and into a dark room. Before your eyes could adjust you heard a voice. "Wilbur? Dream? What are doing here?" the voice was loud and commanding. "Dream talk," the voice said again after no one answered it. The brunette let go of your hand and was blindly looking for the light switch. When he found it and switched on the lights. In front of you stood an extremely tall male. He had two large sets of white wings coming from his back and a pair of gold-colored halos floating above his head. He also had the same stunning green eyes and blonde hair as Dream or that's what the man called him. "Hello, Mortal," the winged man said now looking down. In my view, he made you feel already smaller than you already were. Though you were a very shy person you still gave the god a good glare. "XD. Her name is Y/n," the brunette- Wilbur snapped at the god. "Mortal, slave, pet, Y/n same thing. She is still under me," XD gladly snapped back at Wilbur. Just then a blonde head popped into the room. "Wilbur, Schlatt managed to lose his eye again," the teen whined. The four of you just stared at him. You probably thinking he's crazy. "Tell him Eret found it," XD spoke up. "Thank you, big man!" Tommy yelled running out of the room. "I am Wilbur," the brunette said even if you knew his name you were glad he introduced himself. "that's Dream and DreamXD, and the child is Tommy." He grabbed your hand this time instead of your forearm and started walking toward the hall again. Wilbur took a sharp turn to a different room instead of the main hall that you had met him in. When he pushed open the heavy wooden doors into what looked to be an auditorium.

have a few questions for u! i loved your latest chapter, i believe it’s my favourite one to date together with the yule ball special :)

01. since u’re writing a (very intense) re-write of book 1 to 7 canon, how happy/sad were you about draco’s arc in the books and films? it always bugged me that him and the slytherins didn’t get to shine that much in both aspects, and that’s why we never really got to appreciate them a lot when the books and films came out. would love to hear your take on this!

02. not sure if this has been asked before, but what thing/s inspired you to write lionheart? i recall reading it was because of your love for to all the young dudes, but i’d love to hear you talk about this more

03. if j* r****** weren’t as awful a person as she was (and so terribly closed minded too) do you think there would have been a way for draco and hermione to be together in canon, or at least be some level of friends, if not together romantically?

04. i’m a narcissa black-malfoy apologist and stan, and can i just say, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for writing her in such a beautiful and heartbreaking way. i cannot wait to see how you write her arc in books 5-7.

05. an absolute, absolute shot in the dark - but since friday’s last update was sort of a cliff hanger - would you be open to a double update or an earlier than usual update this week? we aren’t entitled to anything but i swear to you, i was biting my nails and at the edge of my seat fr the minute i ran to the friday update. draco and sirius’s conversation was too real and too beautiful i sobbed so much.

i love you!!! may the universe bless you with all the good karma (is my boyfriend, is a god, is the breeze in my hair on the weekend)!!!

hello! thank you for all the questions, wow!! will probably answer some in separate posts because tumblr usually censors my craft glitches out when i write long asks BUT

how happy/sad were you about draco’s arc in the books and films?

[looks at 400,000 words of AU fic about draco's arc] oh yeah i feel normal and care a regular amount about it

Man, it makes me sad. It makes me sad that almost all the Death Eaters are also children of Death Eaters, establishing this as a familial cycle of violence and hatred, and that's just... left to sit there in the narrative, implicating.

Draco’s arc in particular is a flat downward descent from schoolyard bully into a fascist death cult, and it’s bleak as fuck. like, if these books are written from Draco’s POV, it is some gruesome and deeply cynical stuff, guaranteed. which is a shame, because I think “reluctant and begrudging reformed villain” is an amazing character type that he could have fulfilled perfectly. doesn’t even have to go on tour with the Golden Trio, either; because I lost hope for Redemption Arc after the end of book 6, my ideal world going into book 7 was just having Draco stuck in Grimmauld Place, being bitchy and ill-tempered about the Order’s witness-protection equivalent, while the others treat him like a house-elf. “oh, yeah, that’s Draco, he used to bully us but now he has to ask us to buy the tea he likes at the grocer’s,” etc. I mean, full redemption would have been great, and by far the most rewarding for him/me personally as a reader, but I kind of figured by the end of HBP that it wasn’t in the cards. JKR writes characters in a particular way when she’s interested in them as people, and Draco was just never written with that level of attention or care. 

he’s not even given a particularly rewarding antagonist arc. he doesn’t follow through and kill Dumbledore, thus giving him something irrevocable and life-scarring to repent for; but neither does he join the Order (e.g., Disappearance), meaning his ultimate contribution to the war effort is just this listless, choiceless trend of enabling. he’s forced into the plot with the Vanishing Cabinet, but can't kill Dumbledore; he tries to hide Harry’s identity from Bellatrix in Book 7, but it doesn’t work; he tries to catch Harry in the Room of Requirement and fails, then has to be saved by Harry from fiendfyre his own incompetent sidekick conjured. cringe failson. it’s also hilarious put in contrast with this fanon we have of hypercompetent draco — it’s like we all saw him and were like god bless can we please get this man a skillset. jesus christ he is getting killed out here.

but anyway tbh I think the most character development we see from him in all 7 novels is when Hermione slaps the shit out of him in POA (call that spell of Shutting the Fuck Up the way he doesn't even try to retaliate). The bathroom scene in book 6 is huge, because it’s the first time we get a modicum of sympathy for him, but that’s not followed up on — we just sort of leave him with “yeah, that’s tough.” we don’t even know why the Malfoys go back to Voldemort, because by all accounts, they seem miserable. Lucius seems miserable even before he hits his Flop Era in book 6-7, but he’s also broadly miserable all the time when we see him (likely bc we only see him when he’s plotting/scheming/exploding in rage when Harry manages to yet again Scooby Doo one of his plots, but who knows). I think the seventh book subtly implies the Malfoys are so close with Voldemort because of Bellatrix, and [spoilers incoming] I myself lean heavily on that thread in later sequences in Lionheart, but in the books it’s up to the reader as to how much the Malfoys really believe in the Dark Lord versus just comply with his orders from fear.

Halloween 2023 marathon: 22-23

Wait Until Dark (dir. Terence Young, 1967)

Blinded a year ago in an accident, housewife Susy Hendrix (Audrey Hepburn) is still adjusting to her new reality and struggling with trauma from the event. When her photographer husband has to leave for an evening assignment, at worst she expects an annoying few hours getting her bratty kid neighbor Gloria (Julie Herrod) to actually go the damn grocery for her and not play pranks. Instead she's targeted by a trio of criminals who believe a shipment of heroin ended up in her husband's possession. Led by the psychopathic Mr. Roat (Alan Arkin), the criminals are only supposed to trick and terrorize Susy psychologically without resorting to physical violence. When Susy proves sharper than they expected, it does not stay that way for long.

After watching a terrible 1967 home invasion thriller based on a stage play, I needed to watch a good variation of the same and what better choice than Wait Until Dark, a movie I consider one of the greatest thrillers ever made.

If you've been on my blog for years, you'll know I'm obsessed with I love this movie. Only a handful of movies ever actually scared me on first watch and this is one of them. It's perfectly paced and exquisitely crafted, with a strong eerie atmosphere and great acting from everyone involved, especially Hepburn and Arkin. It's one of those movies where I usually notice new little details in the background every time I see it.

This is the first time I've rewatched this movie since Alan Arkin died, so it was a little bittersweet. Aside from Samantha Jones (who plays Roat's ill-fated accomplice Lisa), the entire adult cast of this movie is no longer with us. An era is slowly vanishing.

I've always seen Wait Until Dark as a transitional movie between Classic Hollywood and the New Hollywood of the late 60s and 70s. A lot of the behind the scenes crew were old-timers with careers going back to the 1930s, and of course Audrey Hepburn was one of the greatest Classic Hollywood stars, but you have more contemporary influences creeping in, mainly with the bad guys being "criminal hipsters" (to steal a line from critic Tim Brayton) and the lack of Hollywood glamor in the costuming and setting. This isn't the fairytale New York City of Sabrina and Breakfast at Tiffany's, but a far more dangerous one.

The other thing I want to mention is just how amazing Hepburn is in this movie and how her performance bowls me over every time. It's a generally acclaimed performance, but I feel like people don't always discuss the psychological nuances of it. While The Nun's Story is Hepburn's best hour as an actress, her work in Wait Until Dark will always be my favorite because her character seems so relatable in her vulnerability. Susy isn't just adjusting to a recent impairment-- she also suffers from PTSD (fire and smoke are literal triggers for her) and deep insecurity regarding her self-image and relationships.

There's one line which stuck out to me this time. At the end of their first conversation, Mike tells Susy, "You're very lovely. Sam's lucky." Susy frowns as though she doesn't believe it and says quietly, "So's Susy." This woman's self-confidence is so low that she can't even take a compliment. She fears that on her own without Sam, she can't possibly be competent or strong. It's also why she latches onto Mike (Richard Crenna) so much: he's a surrogate for her absent husband and he's superficially helpful in a way Sam isn't.

All this adds to the stakes: even if the men don't get violent, their charade will have a psychological toll on Susy, who is so terrified that no one could possibly love her as she is, and that she's really helpless. When she realizes Mike isn't going to be her savior-- and in fact, might kill her-- she realizes she can only rely on herself to get out of this bad situation and she's more than up to the task.

That emotional arc is a major part of why this film resonates with me so much, even more than the suspense or horror elements.

The Invisible Man (dir. James Whale, 1933)

When Dr. Jack Griffin (Claude Rains) finds a way to turn himself invisible, he initially has mixed feelings. On one hand, he doesn't know how to turn himself back. On the other, you can run around naked and no one will ever know. Oh and you can commit murders easily and possibly rule the world. Unable to find a reversal, Griffin embraces the power invisibility gives him and starts a reign of terror on the local population. Will he be caught? Can he be brought back to sanity? And will the screechy innkeeper played by Una O'Connor ever shut the hell up?

With each of his subsequent horror films, James Whale injected more and more camp humor into the proceedings. Some people dislike this, but I don't, especially in the case of The Invisible Man. I always forget how much I enjoy this movie-- I check it out from the library every year to watch around spooky season, but I need to buckle down and just buy the bluray already. This is peak 1930s horror.

This movie is such a delight with its great special effects and fast-moving story, but Claude Rains as the title character is definitely the shining star of the whole thing. He's brilliant. He's hilarious. He's menacing. Dracula is sinister and remote, the Monster is tragic and vulnerable, but Dr. Griffin is just so damned gleeful once he embraces being invisible and all the power that comes with it. While the film's logic for his behavior is that the solution he uses to turn invisible also makes one insane, Griffin's backstory as a lower-class, impoverished young man hoping to make a name for himself and a rich life for the woman he loves strongly suggests this power madness was latent inside him. It's his shadow, to use Jungian terminology.

On this rewatch, I was most struck by the film's similarities to Whale's Frankenstein. Tonally, they're unalike of course: Frankenstein has moments of humor but is generally serious, while black comedy is dominant throughout The Invisible Man. Griffin himself comes off like a prankster, getting childlike joy out of bamboozling and freaking out passerby. He makes great pre-kill quips (he asks one of his victims if they have insurance before murdering them in a car wreck). The townspeople are hilarious too. I LOVE the deadpan delivery of this line from the constable after he realizes Griffin's condition: "He's invisible. That's what's the matter with him."

But back to Frankenstein. Structurally, the two films are similar, much like Dracula and The Mummy are. We have a mad scientist who tampers with nature, creates a "monster" (in Griffin's case, he unleashes a monster within himself), that "monster" terrorizes the locals, the locals form a search party, there's a love interest who represents the ordinary and unambitious world that the scientist ignores, and the film ends with the "monster"'s destruction.

(At least Griffin wasn't stuck with the unprofessional, bastardly Fritz as an assistant. Imagine how THAT would have turned out! Actually, now I want a crossover between Griffin and Henry Frankenstein. That would be a mad scientist team up made in hell.)

Overall, this is a fantastic film: well-paced, funny, creepy, beautifully shot in black-and-white, and psychologically richer than it would appear on the surface. It's a good example of why the 1930s are my favorite period for horror.

2015 was golden, 2016 was great and solid though it had its weak points, but we got the abuse storyline and soap week, 2017… was a lot of hooey but while I may not have liked a lot of what they did, the characters still felt relatively well-rounded even if everything went to shit, and we got to see Robert go off the rails, which was kinda fun, 2018 gave us the lead up to the reunion and the actual reunion, which were masterpieces, and then we got serial killer Lachlan, which did drag out a long time and we got all that weird and awful “Rebecca’s been kidnapped! Rebecca’s being held captive in the woods! Rebecca’s dead! No wait she’s being held captive by an evil nurse!” bs but we got some cute character moments before that and Robert in the conclusion was fun. I think that’s the last time I remember liking what they had going on

Kate Oats had her problems but overall her storytelling style was much tighter and better paced than anything that has come after it. She overused her favorites and had her insane Thursday doubles and Robert got a little too 2D villain sometimes but still, the show was solid in those days. 2015 represents that well.

2016 struggled in the middle due to Kate leaving and Iain coming in, while he got his ideas going. But the lead up to and the main event of ssw 2016 was amazing.

Now while I certainly think Iain's time was better than the terrible trio's, I do think he had a lot more faults. But at the very least you could always count on his spectacle stuff to be pretty good. It was his day to day storytelling that often got super repetitive because he really liked to drag his stories out until he could do his big climactic conclusion. It's just that those conclusions did a lot to make up for the slog before it.

The terrible trio wouldn't know a good climactic conclusion if it fell on them like a caravan.

But the show definitely suffered under Iain's time. 2017 was a bit of a mess overall and 2018 was a slog when it came to having the Bails story, the Grace story, Sarah's heart story and the Lachlan serial killer story all running concurrently.

From a Robron standpoint, 2015 is just a lot of insane fun. 2016 bookends with great stories with the first chill period in between during the producer transition. 2017 is messy as hell but I still like the Hell Plot overall from a Robron standpoint. Rebecca sucked but whether they lucked into it or not, Robron had a great arc that finished up in 2018. Robron definitely got lost in the middle portion of 2018 because all of those other stories were going on and they weren't the center of attention anymore...sadly. But at least the reunion and the wedding were lovely and perfect.

And then the terrible trio took over and everything fell apart. They don't know how to pace a story. They don't know how to craft a character arc. They're way too focused on the next headline and generating hype and buzz to actually care about the characters. It's why everything feels so random and out of the blue or gets dropped abruptly only to be suddenly picked up months later. It's just a disaster. I'm thrilled Jane is gone now but the other two need to go too. And they need to bring in a new person in general because this show is crying out for a new creative vision.