Well, maybe, if some of you actually went out and tried connecting with actual people instead of giving so many fucks about fictional characters on the internet fucking each other enough to call shipping "erasure", you'd finally shut the fuck up and see our point about how annoying y'all are, for once.

Like, I guess no one can eroticize Barbie as a concept anymore in any capacity because Margot Robbie said she's aroace because she's plastic as if merely being plastic isn't a part of Barbie's eroticism for a lot of (already sexy hot queer) people... Oh NO!

Yeah, the only reason I didn't reblog directly and cropped out the username is because OP had no readable age visible in their bio and this post sounds like it was written by a minor....

And the turbo nerd who wrote this better not block evade me to try to clarify that ether.

I thought tenderqueer are queer/lgbt people who likes chicken tender but turn out I was wrong

so death of the author, right?

Separating art from the artist is an important tool in the context of literary analysis. NOT casual consumption. You separate the artist from their work so that you can analyze the work itself on it's own merits and all of the themes and devices being used to make it what it is. It does NOT mean ignoring the fact a creator is shitty so that you can keep casually enjoying their work for fun.

You separate art from the artist so that you can accurately analyze Birth of a Nation for a cinematography class and understand all of the cinematic tools and techniques that made that horriffic propoganda film one of the most influential pieces of cinema to ever be produced in ye olde days of american cinema.

You do NOT separate art from its artist when so you can pretend that shitstain on a film strip was good to watch for fun. Or when you're trying to justify Drag Race because you just like it that much, nor when you pop in an Elvis Presly record, nor while watching yet another shitty She-who-cannot-be-named book, or when R.Kelly comes up on that playlist you shouldn't still have.

You separate the art from the artist so you can figure out why a sewer rat tastes like pumpkin pie in a fucking lab, not so you can justify frying that shit into a sunday platter. FUCK.

Long overdue discussion (at least on YouTube and other space unaware). Also enjoying Keffals dismantling her critics with relative ease. I mean… the amount of slander, defamation, pedo-jacketing and straight up lies people come up with to try and ruin her reputation or make her out to be this horrific person is quite sad. So much baseless accusations after baseless accusation and boring purity testing. “Keffals bad look at this tweet!” Whoa deep. You sure showed her lol! Keffals is now going to “LOGOFF” just for you. Right.

I talked to a trans femme teen yesterday who told me to not use slurs (faggot, tranny) and I think people like to blame social media for these kids being so tenderqueer-y, but this kid also told me that of the 1,400 kids in her art school, there is lots of out gay, trans masc and non-binary AFAB kids but only 10 t-femmes, and I saw in her and this other trans femme teen I know this harsh assimilationist streak (they want to go stealth, strive for conventional beauty standards, jealous of the cis het white blonde girls) because they barely have a community and so it becomes a place to survive.

The internet is this boogieman that distorts what is the consensus. It has a selection bias of hyper isolated, neurodivergent, and anxious people who are just looking to survive

I look at queer kids with annoying conservative opinions I don't see the solution being "internet stop sucking" - the assimilationist woodworking "Cross Dressing Quarterly" trannies of the 90's didn't need TikTok to get this way, it was the violence of the closet.

I see the problem being them being scared kids - what bell hooks calls "the most oppressed class" and I see the solution being a more porous, safe community between kids and adults (outside of the nonprofit industrial complex that uses queer youth spaces to condescend, infantalize, and give resources in a nondemocratic way)

We always say "protect trans kids" and it's worth queer adults of all types toughing through bigotry and accusatory stares to find these kids, build relationships, give resources and love them. All we have is each other. We protect us. Us tranny faggots

Some people talk like tenderqueers are mythical creatures. I assure you, they are not. Theyre out there lowkey threatening to evict disabled people because the tenderqueers' own negligence HAS to be someone else's fault. They can absorb an 800$ bill for their cat no problem but its the people living on welfare--who they call comrades--that have the "privilege" of not being employable.

If you can mask as a 40 hr workweek human week in and out? You definitively ARE "physically and mentally capable" of it!! the proof is in the pudding asshole!! Youre putting this shamefest guiltrip on at least one person who manifestly just got out of the hospital days ago after a suicidality scare and another person who was 3hrs away on an island doing medical errands of her own when your cats tail abscess that youve been ignoring finally burst and you had to pay 800$ to fix it

Whose responsibility is it to get you places on time despite your codified drug addiction issues? YOURS! You dont tell anyone else your schedule! You dont leave care instructions for your cats you ignore!

This isnt anyone else's failure to "be an adult" but yours! Youre expecting your roomies to be your fulltime MINDREADING exective assistants for free when you KNOW they themselves dont have the everloving spooooooooons for that, you absolute frothing ty-RUNT

Stfu and rehome your neglected pets!

No one wants you to get your munchausens all over the place again!

You are like a living symbol of everything wrong with chronically online uwu tenderqueers on the Internet. If it weren't for people thinking you're a "hacktivist" they would see that youre just another dumb ass virgin bisexual asexual lesbian quasi-demisexual queerplatonic polyamorous mewgender I-need-to-come-up-with-fake-microidentities-to-feel-uwu-valid type bitch who probably masturbates to ao3 incest omegaverse supernatural Harry potter fanfiction or whatever the fuck. Stop being so self centered and pretending like you are some oppressed revolutionist. You are just an online degenerate who has only done one meaningful thing in their life.

ok 👍

Honestly?

Id rather be friends with people who call themselves faggots or queers and have fucked up kinks (as long as they keep them between consenting adults in real life) than the people who try to sanitize and make everything palatable to normal people

Because nine times out of ten they are infinitely better people irl than some random puritan ass person on here. and they will care about you more than anyone else.

So here's to you my fellow faggots, my freaks, my perverts, my degenerates, and all my fellows who dont fit in with the "Acceptable" and "sanitized" people who may as well be conservatives.

never stop being degenerates and keep waving that freak flag high.

Um, okay so some adult dipshit with a cartoon avatar with blue hair and a description implying they have an alter who's like a little kid or something (? I don't know) just posted that EXACT "u cant ship Al bc ASEXUAL!!!!!!!" video I was ragging on a couple days ago made by that turbovirgin brony with the brony dating profile DIRECTLY into main tags right now AND I'M REELING...

Don't let a DHMIS and Fnaf fan with a brony dating profile who sounds like Kate Micucci tell you anything about asexuality, fandoms or shipping especially if they label Al as a "Tumblr Sexyman" because they're so poisoned by their own bad taste I can't.

So much for keeping her anonymous.

The person who unironically posted that shit bronyscold video to the main tags too ... Like fandoms control your own cringe, self loathing and self flagellation and stop telling talented fanartists doing the most through fandom work and commissions what to do with their art for five minutes? Impossible!

The realest advice I was ever given? "Never trust Black folks who wanna be the only Black person in the room."

being one of the good™ cringy autists in the "cool parts" of tumblr is just a lot of eyebrow raising and going "woah you... actually believe that about people..."

i was telling somebody my story about going on a coffee date with a self-identified tenderqueer who worked for lockheed martin and how they worked only on "nonviolent projects," as an electrical engineer, and they (story audience) were like oh yeah my friend who worked at lockheed martin for six months before getting tf out also chose that option. and he got design notes like "this has to still function with one-inch-wide holes punched through it. no reason"

I didn't know how much i needed to see a person who isn't a binary man have phallo. I feel like I've only ever seen hypermasculine dudes who want to be cis talk about their experiences!! Ur hot btw

thanks! there are a lot of folks who have had phallo who are fem(me), various flavors of nonbinary, all sorts of people! and i think there would be more woman-aligned people who pursue it if there wasnt a weird stigma abt it. i know a lot of women, stone butches in particular, who talk abt wanting a sensate dick and when i say “so get phallo” they react like they’d never considered that. but women can get phallo! men can get vaginoplasty! and they do! but i know i have gotten flak for talking about being a woman who chose to get a dick, both from people who think that bc i got phallo i’m actually a man just lying and saying i’m a woman so i can trick lesbians into fucking me, or bc they assumed i’m a trans woman (when all i said was “i’m a woman w a dick”) and then find out i’m not and they say i’m appropriating trans women’s experiences or whatever. and i think that sentiment keeps a lot of ppl from pursuing bottom surgery, even tho it’s not always explicitly said, it’s an attitude that makes itself known

Hello. I sat here for a good 30 minutes trying to think of best how to ask this question without giving the online version of an annoying exposition dump, so I hope this somewhat makes sense: I’ve found myself, increasingly, having conversations with the more tenderqueer-esque queers in my life surrounding slurs- specifically slurs like faggot and tranny. I’m a trans guy, and I was told by another trans guy of the genre of person i just mentioned that only gay men can reclaim the word faggot, and trans women can reclaim the word tranny. I thought this was a stupid and gatekeep-y idea, and told him so, but i have been genuinely wondering if this is just a manifestation of terminally online induced queer infighting or a form of ignorant transmisogyny on my part. Is tranny a slur directed at and only to be reclaimed by trans women? Or is it just another tick in the barrel of a long line of slur speciation discourse?

I think the short answer of who can say what slur is "this is terminally online bullshit"

And my second answer is "this is a conversation that mostly people under the age of 30 have, and people mostly online have." I think the age is important - it's feels like it's a developmental phase a lot of queers go through, where they negotiate their identity." So, like I'm patient (if a little irked) when I see it on my feed. Or hear some dipshit socially awkward t-femme at Bluestockings rudely chime in to a conversation I'm having with a friend.

and I sometimes put it as a hypothetical;

I'm telling you right now, as a trans woman, in my lived experience, people of your exact intersecting identities are only allowed to say the word "tranny" on a Tuesday and "faggot" on a Friday. If you forget, remember 'tranny' and 'Tuesday' starts with 'T' and 'faggot' and 'Friday' starts with 'F'

Like, that's absurd for me to ask. And so I think that kind of forces the thought that at the end of the day I'm the one asking it. There'll be no consensus on this issue.; you have to decide for yourself whatever or not to respect one point of view over the other.

We say "listen to black people" but I had this moment in my life where IRL I did a call-out of Nazis in my community and a Black friend told me that I was talking over people of color and another thanked me for speaking up in a way that they wouldn't be listened to. Who is right? Neither. Both. You have to decide for yourself and have a strong sense of race. Same with interacting with our own queer community.

Who can say what queer slur where and when is a thing that can never be litigated online. It's such an interpersonal person-to-person thing. There's no pundit square that can fit all slurs and all identities and all experiences.

in the case of the teen in the previous story who told me not to use the word "tranny," I immediately retorted that people say that word to me on the street and spit at me, which means they recognize it as a thing of power and so I will use that power. And I don't think she'd ever had copped to it, but I think changed her mind because she was saying "tranny" over the next months.

I think for some of this shit, us trans women policing who can say "tranny" is us just doing a proxy war for transmisogny. Like, we get transmisogny in our community, an AFAB person queer person of some type who could probably leverage their privilege against us says "tranny," I can see it irking some. But, have you met a trans woman? Everything irks us. We're reprehensible.

And, I think in terms of your conversation and your friend. I dunno, I think of who-gets-to-be-lesbian discourse. I see so many people online twist in the wind trying to justify to others that they're a trans masc lesbian, or a non-binary lesbian or a bisexual lesbian and I'm kinda sitting there on my ass wondering why they're trying so hard to get probably the dumbest people online to justify our identity. Like, we're hear, we're queer, get used to it. I sometimes feel of the matter that we're all a mass medium as one and just going about shit without apology as a way to force people to confront our humanity.

Iffen you want my personal feelings on the matter, you're just as impacted by the codified violence of the state that's imposed on us and so we're all faggots at the end of the day. But the t-girl sitting next to me might feel differently, and you have to negotiate with that. Sometimes times calls for moments of respect and sometimes it's a matter of saying "fuck it" and doing the thing you know how it is.

If you would like, I can draw you a card that says "Amber, a hot trans woman, says I can say 'faggot'"

Finally, I'll say I wrote a couple paragraphs for you so I'm going to force you to return the favor and just challenge you to sit on your ass and ask yourself in honest ways what the word means and what it means to you and what's beautiful and what's ugly about the word. That - an internal process - a lot more valuable thing worth to litigate then everybody in-community being cops to each other.

And then after that, I always like to challenge people to look beyond the debate. This post I made on the matter is about a dead trans teen. It's nice to debate words, but it's also nice to look out at our wonderful, annoying community, name problems we see that creates material struggle, and then imagine solutions.

It's eternally frustrating how white-focused the queer community is, and how queer POC, especially black queers, can't even get a word in. White queers make up reasons to hate us, like how calling out racism in the community is "mudflinging," "infighting," and "actually makes us transphobic reactionaries." They make up reasons to demonize our terminology, like how "tenderqueer" is problematic because it's too close to "genderqueer." But yet you don't have a problem when racist white queers use our own terminology to degrade and dehumanize us.

They constantly use their queer identities to try and deflect when called out for racism, and they constantly use their queer identities to claim that they don't have white privilege. They use the excuse that they've gone through hardships before. As if we haven't explained that white privilege doesn't mean you haven't gone through hardships- it just means your skintone isn't one of the things making it harder. But whenever we explain racism, whenever we hold white queers accountable for their racism or white privilege, they deflect, and/or we get ad hominem responses.

When white queers mean solidarity, they mean with other white queers. They'll let Nazis into the community before they let QPOC, especially black queers, in.

kink dynamics are not the same as top/bottom dynamics and kink dynamics MUST be enthusiastically consensual. otherwise you’re not participating in kink, you are being abusive.

additionally, in the real world, clearly defined top/bottom dynamics are rarely ever discrete and rarely ever explicitly discussed. queer flirting in the wild often looks like two (or sometimes more) people interacting and feeling out what kind of connection there is and figuring things out as you go with communication and consent.

internet tenderqueers need to shut the fuck up, listen, and go touch some grass before they open their mouths and show their whole ass online.