#tbh....I really want someone to be romantic with. it sucks the person I’ve wanted lives across seas and isn’t into me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bthump · 3 years

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Heyyy, do You think it was justified the way casca was going to commit suicide, or it was something that Miura did just so that guts could save her and have sex with her? Does it make sense yo You?

I started out answering this with an "absolutely not well justified" response, but yk what, that's not entirely true.

imo it's bad writing if we're meant to see Guts and Casca's relationship as genuinely romantic, healthy, and positive. I'll say that straight up. If we're meant to see Casca falling for Guts as a step in the right direction for her, then that is just bad fuckin writing all around, and the suicide attempt specifically makes it even worse.

Casca gets a monologue in which she tells Guts that she was lying to him and herself when she said she wanted to be Griffith's sword, because what she really wants is to fuck him, and now he's probably dead and she's apparently not actually all that personally invested in his dream of a utopian kingdom, so her life feels worthless now, plus the last year has been hell, so see ya. Then Guts saves her and they start fucking and she's like, well what the hell I'm also in love with Guts, which is something that's been causing me existential angst this last year as well, guess I can give this a shot. Presto, mental health crisis solved, Casca no longer depressed now that she got laid.

So that sucks.

Buuuuut on the other hand I think you can make a pretty solid case that fucking Guts is not actually a step in the right direction for Casca, but rather, the continuation of a negative cycle.

Casca's own justification for killing herself there honestly could work in theory. Like yes I will always be disappointed personally by any narrative in which a female character is presented as someone with ideals and goals and personal desires but oops that was actually a bait and switch because those were all lies she told herself to stay in denial about being in love with a dude and having no sense of self outside of him. That inherently pisses me off no matter what else happens with her narrative, even if it's 100% purposeful for the sake of exploring that as a flaw. A woman being romantically obsessed with a dude is not a flaw I would choose to read about if I had a choice.

Like okay, I've ranted about how misogynist the writing is here before, and I do stand by that. I just re-read and nodded along to my own post there. BUT it like, it arguably serves the story, honestly, lol. Everyone's lying to themselves about being in love with someone throughout the Golden Age, from Casca to Judeau to the King and Queen. It's a motif, and one that fits the griffguts subtext like a glove, so while I hate it in Casca's case, I can live with it because it fits the Golden Age theme of repression.

And like I said there is a strong case to be made that Casca isn't overcoming that flaw by falling for Guts, she's just repeating it.

It sucks that the only GA female main character's narrative is all about falling in obsessive love with dudes who save her and dedicating her life to them, but the silver lining is that it really does read like a pointedly negative thing to me.

And if that's the case, then gtsca hooking up after the suicide attempt is a bandaid solution that doesn't solve Casca's actual problems rather than an actual solution to the factors that drove her to suicide, which is a little better than healing sex lol, and pretty strongly implied with Guts’ “Don’t think about those things. All you need is to feel alive” prelude statement.

(Plus just look at Casca all eager about Guts taking her with him when he leaves again vs how she responds when she watches him fight the kinds of strong enemies his dream entails fighting, ie by crying, wishing he would just run away, and telling him to die by himself while bandaging him up afterwards. Pretty strong hint that leaving with Guts wasn't actually going to be a great time for her.)

It also means her reason for killing herself, ie being in love with Griffith who is gone now, isn't about being in love with the wrong dude but rather about having no self esteem outside of the hope of reciprocated romantic feelings, epecially as a result of formative traumatic childhood experiences like the rest of our main characters, which is at least a better character note than driven to suicide bc the dude she likes doesn't like her back, and saved from that despair when this other dude she likes does like her back this time.

Though that said, it's a bit of a stretch for me to believe all that is the authorially intended reading of Casca's character because, I mean, look at the rest of the women in Berserk. When every other woman in the story is also obsessed with a dude it gets harder to believe that he put that much thoughtfulness into Casca’s version lol. But either way, it still makes sense to me and fits the story. And tbh I do still believe that Miura intended for Casca to have a pattern of falling for saviours, even if it’s one he repeats with a bunch of other women too, and I do think it was intended to have negative repercussions. Like I doubt the takeaway was meant to be that Casca needs to work on her self-esteem outside her relationships with men lol, but yk, some of it is probably intended.

So like, tl;dr I think the reasoning Casca gives on page for her suicide attempt sucks but it sucks less if you see her relationship with Guts as an unfortunate result of the character flaws that drove her to that point in the first place rather than the solution to her problems.

Thanks for the ask, hope that made sense to you as an answer!

#also like the rest of gtsca the one thing it adds to the story is griffguts subtext #in that if as is stated in the text she's killing herself because she's in love with griffith and he's out of the picture then well #it makes a neat parallel to griffith's suicide attempt when he thinks guts is leaving again #though ofc griffith's is much better written by virtue of having a shitload of characterization outside his romantic feelings #as well as those romantic feelings being much better written by themselves #a #ask #Anonymous #character: casca #ship: gtsca #theme: repression #theme: trauma #theme: critique #theme: misogyny

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jpegjade · 4 years

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Pact it in - Spencer

We have a new fic!! everyone handclaps for @hypotheticalforest for this great idea!! i made a tiiiiny detail change but it wasn’t huge.

request: Spencer and reader are best friends that are both fed up with dating so they made a pact to get married if they’re both still single at 35? But then the reader starts talking to other guys and notices that Spencer is sabotaging things? Like coincidentally texting her while she’s out, point out their flaws, little stuff like that. Spencer doesn’t realize what he’s doing until she calls him out?

warnings: tbh i dont think there are any. a little angsty but i promise there’s fluff.

__________________

“Spencer, what the hell is wrong with you?” You asked as he pushed open your apartment door.

Spencer, as smart as he was, seemed to be a total idiot sometimes.

“What do you mean? That guy literally was checking out the waitress when he should’ve been checking you out. Did he even make a comment on your highlighter? Your cheekbones look immaculate.” Spencer held the door open for you as you walked in.

“How did you even happen to show up to the same bar where we chose to get drinks?” You asked, putting your bag down on the couch, collapsing next to it.

“I didn’t know that’s where you were going. Morgan just asked me to stop by there with him.” Spencer shrugged.

“Oh, so Morgan asked you to stop by the place where I had my date, profile him, make an ass out of both you and me, and then bring me home after almost punching the guy?” You questioned, skeptically.

You knew Spencer could be an idiot but you didn’t know he could be so dumb to think he would sneak this one past you.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I genuinely didn’t know that you were going to be there and I thought a night with Morgan would be a good thing for me.” Spencer said looking down at his feet.

“Spencer, what are you talking about? You hate bars.” You wondered what Spencer could possibly be going on about.

“I feel like you’re pulling away and we’ll miss the big day...” Spencer got quiet as he watched your emotions shift in front of him.

“Spencer…” You said, all angry resolve melting off of you.

Spencer didn’t look forward to his birthday. Too much had happened over the years and so little of it was good. He didn’t have much to celebrate so he didn’t bother celebrating it. His mom wasn’t doing that great, the team was constantly shifting, and nothing was stable for him except his relationship with you. This birthday was bound to be different. He had been looking forward to it ever since you made the pact.

A few years ago, you and Spencer decided that you needed to focus on your careers and not bother with dating anyone because nothing was turning out right. You both agreed that if you were both single at 35, you would date each other and if things went well, your happy ending would be with the other person. Your 35th birthday already passed and you weren’t seriously dating anyone. Spencer’s birthday was in a week and he made sure to stay single just for you.

“Are you still serious about that?” You asked.

“You aren’t?” Spencer could feel his heart breaking slowly.

“No, I mean… Spencer, come on.” You looked at your shoes.

There was a heavy silence between the two of you as you both thought back to the day when you made the agreement, putting it down on paper.

***

“Y/n, please get up.” Spencer said, trying to pull you up.

You hadn’t moved from bed in 3 days after you got dumped in the most humiliating way possible on Valentine’s Day: a text message after you booked a very expensive restaurant and bought the best champaign they had. They stood you up for an hour then said ‘Sorry luv. It’s not working out xx.”

“I’m worried about you.” Spencer said as you turned over so your back was facing him.

“You shouldn’t be. I’m just swearing off having a significant other for… Forever.” You said, sighing.

Spencer didn’t like to see you upset, especially not over a romantic interest. He knew how it felt to lose someone you really liked. His job had taken away so many people he felt a genuine connection with that he hated to think you were giving up on something that could be so wonderful. Ever the realist, Spencer was a hopeless romantic at heart.

“I don’t think you mean forever. Statistically, there’s no such thing, especially with matters of the heart.” Spencer was starting to get going on statistics about bad habits being the leading cause of breakups but you shot him a look that said you couldn’t handle statistics about your heart being broken.

“Well, long enough to make me forget that there are actually people in the world who hate my personality enough to stand me up and pretend like they were going to come back to me or even talk to me again.” You said, turning over to face Spencer completely.

“I like your personality enough to live with you.” Spencer said, staring at you.

“Spencer, we’re best friends, first, and second, you’re gone half of the time so you don’t have to put up with me all the time.” You said, sighing.

“That shouldn’t matter.” Spencer was confused at why being your friend would make anything different.

“But it does. You know parts of me that I hide from new people in my life and look at what happens. I still end up crying alone in my bed.” You saw a new set of tears begin to obscure your vision slightly.

“I don’t show all of myself and I lose people I love, even in the friend sense.” Spencer looked at you softly.

He knows how it feels to be hurt and he knew you could be sensitive when you were really invested in something or someone and you were disappointed, especially if you admired it a lot.

“What if we just married each other?” You said, sitting up.

“What?” The air in Spencer’s lungs were sucked out of him.

Of all the things he ever hoped you’d say, he didn’t think he would ever hear that one.

“You and I should just get married.” You repeated.

“Now?” Spencer was only capable of saying one word at a time as his heart was racing and his brain was overloading with happiness.

“No, not now. Let’s give it a few years… Maybe if we’re still single at 35, we’ll date each other with the intent of getting married. I mean, hell, we’re practically married already.” You said, smiling a little bit.

You always loved Spencer in a special way but you were always scared that he would turn you down so you never really went for it. You spent so much time burying the feelings that you didn’t think you even had a chance.

“Let’s put this on paper.” Spencer said, yanking a piece of paper out of his journal.

You wrote down the exact conditions you just outlined and drew two straight lines at the bottom for signatures. First, you signed. Spencer signed right after you.

“Promise?” You said, holding your pinky out.

“Promise.” He said, wrapping his pinky with yours.

***

“Do you still have the paper?” You asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah.” Spencer nodded.

“Then the contract is still enacted.” You nodded slowly. You were trying to process what this meant.

“Do you still want me?” Spencer asked, trying to keep it together.

“Spencer… Listen.” You started. “I have spent years in love with you and it’s been hard. You’ve fallen in love with other girls and I’ve just been here. Waiting. So yeah, I started to look for other people because I don’t know if you even feel the same way, let alone still want to go through with that. Honestly, I haven’t forgotten about it. I just thought you would’ve thrown it out by now.”

“I do.” Spencer muttered.

“What?” You asked, making sure that you were hearing him correctly.

“I do. I still feel the same way and I’m still serious about the contract.” He said, looking up at you.

You were trying to find some hint of Spencer messing with you. You weren’t a profiler but this seemed too easy. This was going to lead in disappointment, right?

“So what now?” You asked, almost in a whisper.

“I guess we wait.” Spencer said, unsure what to really do.

“Wait?” Your thoughts were racing but you didn’t understand why you would wait when you both wanted the same thing.

“Yeah. It says we both have to be 35. I have one more week to go.” Spencer was so technical.

“So does that mean I can’t kiss you for a week?” You asked, a small smile on your face.

“The contract didn’t say anything about you giving me kisses…” Spencer blushed, his heart racing.

“Well then I guess we found a loophole.” You said, closing the distance between you and Spencer.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine

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amelialincoln · 3 years

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Electric Love

im sorry to those who were expecting an amelink fic. i guess what else would you expect (im sorry). but i also really enjoy reading Marecal fics from Red Queen and tbh I've been loving amelink this season but the last two episodes have left me feeling a bit disappointed with the lack of cutesy, romantic shit that i live for and i’ve just been feeling unmotivated. so i hope some of you can enjoy this fic. i know it isn’t a huge fandom but it’s a wholesome one so maybe i can find some marecal shippers in the greys anatomy fandom :)

Mare’s eyes shone with amusement as Rafe tumbled back into the mud. They both were panting and the sky swirled above them, tainted with purple and green.

“That was pathetic.” She grinned.

“Hey, cut me some slack, I’ve been training with Ella for the last six months and, as powerful as she is, she’s no combat fighter.” Despite being exhausted, he wiped the blood from his chin and green lighting sparked at his fingertips. “Let’s put the physical fighting to rest and level out the playing field a bit.” Mare’s expression darkened and she tried to hide her reaction. The training she’d done ever since she and Cal had started their training camp in Norta had been minimal. Cal had tried to pass off all royal responsibilities after the war but the palace had too much of a perfect training arena to pass up. They’d kept saying they would build their own centre in the Westlakes region so Mare could be closer to home, but the amount of newblood prodigies they’d discovered since they’d started the camp was too impressive to leave behind. And despite everything, she’d rarely used her abilities lately. A couple weeks back she’d gotten out of control. She wasn’t sure where it had come from but she’d never experienced anything like it. Ever since she could sense something different. Something that was causing an imbalance inside of her. She’d mentioned none of it to Cal, simply asking if she could work on combat instead of ability training. He’d showed some confusion but didn’t press it, assuming she was wanting to brush up on fighting skills. “Come on, Mare,” Rafe joked, “are you scared?”

“No.” She found herself yearning for the feeling of electricity coursing through her veins. She was surprised by how easily she summoned it after three weeks of suppression. She felt herself wondering if she’d created the whole situation in her head. Rafe shot a web of green energy at her to bring her back to reality.

“You’re distracted,” he observed.

“Never,” she replied. A bolt of lighting hit the ground beside him, causing him to jump. Rafe grinned and the hill lit up with green.

Mare was full of exhilaration, summoning lighting from the thundering sky above in ways that she’d forgotten she was capable of. If she were fighting Ella they probably would’ve torn the mountain apart by now but Rafe easily absorbed the purple bolts into the webs of his own and they reflected back up into the sky. Mare dodged the ones he sent her way, letting them sizzle into the grass behind her. Rain began to pour down on them and the purple bolts of lighting were coming down quickly and sporadically.

“Mare, cut it out with the rain,” Rafe yelled over the thundering noise. Mare looked up into the sky nervously, she hadn’t asked for the rain. She noticed a swirling pattern of lighting that was churning in the clouds, one she hadn’t called upon.

“I didn’t--” she started before she was knocked to the ground, a green light washed over her and she was left tingling. Rafe rushed over to her.

“I thought you were paying attention, sorry.”

“I probably deserved that,” she muttered, wiping mud off her cheeks.

“Call it off, let's head inside.” Mare nodded, wishing the clouds to disperse and the lighting to suppress. The storm only got more intense, she could feel the hair stand up on the back of her neck, Rafe seemed to notice it too. “Mare, call it off!” Lightning stuck too close to the pair, leaving the ground sizzling with purple, hot flames. Mare was suddenly happy for the rain. “What are you doing?” He yelled. Mare felt a wave of nausea roll over her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up again. “Mare!” She could hear the fear in his voice. He cupped her face in his hands. “Focus!” Mare felt her entire body shake as the rain stopped and static electricity was sucked out of the air. She fell back in exhaustion, her body trembling in sweat. “Jesus.” Rafe glanced around at the damage that their fight had caused.

“We should head back,” Mare grimaced.

They had a silent journey home. Usually they would run but Mare seemed so exhausted that Rafe hadn’t mentioned it. The trek seemed about a million hours long but finally they said their goodbyes as they neared the entrance of the kingdom.

“Tell Ella and Tyton that I say hi,” she mentioned softly.

“I will,” he promised, studying his friend with concern.

“Thanks for demonstrating at camp today, I know it meant a lot to the kids.”

“No worries,” he shrugged. “You should come and train with us though. It’s easy to get out of practice when there’s no other electricons to drill with.” He was worried he’d overstepped but was relieved when Mare nodded in response.

��Hey, you look like you got a good workout. I could see the storm you created from here.” Cal embraced her tightly as she let herself into their room. “You okay?” He asked as she winced.

“Yeah, just sore,” she muttered, trying to ignore his confusion as she pushed passed him.

“What’s wrong?” He pressed, sensing her anger.

“I’m just out of practice.” She stepped into their bathroom, turning on the shower.

“I’ve noticed.” He ignored the glare she shot him as he sat on the toilet seat while she undressed and stepped under the stream of water, covered in mud. “You haven’t really been training.” Mare sighed, watching the mud swirl off her in pools of grey. She stepped out of the shower once the water turned clear and was surprised to find Cal still waiting with a towel. “Mare,” he breathed, tracing his hand along her ribcage. She was covered in jagged burns. “What happened?”

“They don’t hurt.” She shrugged, which was a lie.

“Did Rafe hit you?”

“It was an accident, I wasn’t paying attention,” she grimaced as he wrapped her in the towel. Cal didn’t know Mare to be the type of person to not pay attention while fighting. If anything she was more aware of her surroundings than anyone he knew.

“I’ll tell Sara to come up.” He walked out of the room before she could protest, as he knew she would.

They were sitting on the bed when Sara arrived. Mare was draped in one of Cal’s t-shirts that seemed to be drowning her. She couldn’t manage to put on any restrictive clothing without grimacing in pain. Cal had thrown the shirt at her after watching her sort through her clothes for too long, which she’d pulled on happily.

“Cal,” Sara greeted the obviously concerned brunette as she followed him into the living room. He and Mare had built the apartment over the training centre, not wanting to live in the palace considering that sleeping there caused them both to have nightmares every time they tried to close their eyes. She eyed Mare, knowing immediately that something was off. She’d barely seen the young woman over the last couple of weeks and had been trying not to worry after hearing whisperings around the palace that she’d been barely eating. Despite the couple no longer living in the palace, they both usually had no problem requesting food from the kitchen. Apparently Mare was an awful cook, to which Sara wasn’t surprised. Mare lifted her shirt to reveal the blisters that were beginning to form in swirling patterns on her skin. Cal seemed to flinch. Sara was surprised by his reaction to seeing his girlfriend in pain, no doubt after experiencing it many times before. Mare sighed as Sara’s hands began to soothe her skin. The tingling of the burns began to diminish and the soreness in her lower back had also begun to suppress. She glanced up to see that Sara had paused, her palms hovered in place.

“Mare, have you noticed any changes lately?” She questioned softly. Mare glanced at Cal who was eyeing her as he bit the skin on his fingertips.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Sara ignored him, waiting for Mare to respond. Mare nodded slowly.

“I’ve felt out of control,” she replied so softly that Cal could hardly hear it. “I noticed it a couple of weeks ago so I stopped for a bit. Today when I was training with Rafe...it got bad.” Sara nodded, although what Mare had told her was not what she’d been expecting.

“Sara--” Cal started, his voice filled with worry.

“She’s pregnant,” she interrupted him. “Three weeks.” The room’s temperature climbed to what seemed like a thousand degrees and the lights above flickered. Sara couldn’t help but suppress an amused smile at their reactions. Mare burst into tears and the healer immediately removed her hands from the trembling girl’s stomach.

“Thank you, Sara,” Cal shifted awkwardly on his feet as she practically fled from the room. He took Mare into his arms rocking her slightly back and forth, it was rare that she cried and he hadn’t seen her bawl like this in what seemed like years. “Hey, Mare, it’s okay,” he tried.

“Cal, you don’t understand.” She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to sit up. “What happened today scared me. I thought I was going to kill him.”

“What do you mean?” Cal asked, his voice was sympathetic as he rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her, stealing occasional, curious looks at her stomach.

“It started a couple weeks ago,” she explained as he raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to worry you. I was demonstrating for some of the newbloods and suddenly I felt everything pause, as if the lightning had slipped out of my grasp. It struck more powerfully than I’ve seen it, about ten meters away. The kids were impressed because they thought I was controlling it but I wasn’t. After that I decided to take a break. I was scared that it would happen again and hurt someone. Today was...bad.”

“You think someone else is controlling it when you slip?” He asked. “Or controlling you?”

“I don’t know,” she shuddered.

“You think it might be the baby?” He added tentatively.

“I doubt a fetus could…” She trailed off. “I mean, I have no idea,” she finally confessed.

“Can we talk about this? Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” Mare bit her lip uncomfortably.

“I should’ve noticed sooner. I’ve been nauseous and been feeling more tired than usual. My cycle has always been irregular since I lost it in the war,” she admitted. “We’ve just been so busy.”

“When I’ve brought up having kids in the past you’ve never seemed enthusiastic.”

“I don’t think I’d be a good mom,” she confessed. “We also both get our fair share of PTSD episodes.” Cal grimaced at that. “I just have never felt ready to bring a child into this world. That’s why I’ve always been so careful about taking those pills Farley gave me. I don’t know what happened.”

“That makes sense,” he assured her before adding, “we’d have a pretty cool kid,”

“Yeah, we would,” Mare breathed, placing a tentative hand on her stomach. “Gisa’s gonna freak.”

“Your Mom would want us to move to the Westlakes immediately,” he joked. Mare smiled at the thought but Cal could sense the worry in her eyes. “Hey, if you don’t want to have it, I’ll support you.” To his surprise Mare shook her head.

“I love you, Cal. I know how much you want this and I see how good you are with the children at camp. Even though it’s not great timing and it might just be the hormones, I don’t want to make a choice that I’ll regret.”

“So we’re having a baby?” Cal asked, trying to conceal his excitement.

“I guess so?” Mare wiped another tear with Cal’s massive t-shirt sleeve. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without training for nine months.”

“You think it all has something to do with the baby?”

“Three weeks works out pretty well with when I first noticed the change.” She nodded. “Our baby seems like she’s going to be a bit like her mom.”

“Her?” Cal asked, grinning ear to ear.

“I have a hunch,” Mare shrugged, laughing as Cal gently pushed her back against the mattress and covered her face in kisses.

“Nah he’ll be burning your insides in no time. The lightning thing was just a fluke.”

“Does that actually happen?” Mare froze.

“God no,” he laughed. “Though Maven and I found out about our abilities pretty young. Our parents pressed the testing on us pretty early. They wanted to start our training as soon as possible. I don’t think the palace staff appreciated unpredictable five year old fire wielders.”

“Oh god,” Mare shook her head at the thought as Call pulled the duvet over her. “Cal it’s nine.”

“You said you’ve been feeling tired,” he said firmly.

“Tomorrow is Sunday, there’s no camp anyways.”

“Perfect, you can sleep in too. My baby is tired.” Mare rolled her eyes at that, knowing she’d have a long nine months ahead of her.

“Fine, but you have to come to bed as well,” she bargained.

“I told Julian--”

“Nope, I’m actually carrying your child which makes me more important than Julian.” She smiled as she watched frustration pass over Cal’s face.

“Fine,” he finally sighed, swifty removing his shirt in one swift motion and wrapping his arms around her. Mare yawned, allowing herself to finally relax into their bed. “If you think you’re fighting combat you’re insane.” Cal’s voice pulled her out of sleep.

“If you think I’m going to sit on my ass all day you’re insane,” she shrugged, rolling over. Cal sighed as he heard Mare’s breathing begin to deepen.

“I know.”

#marecal #redqueen #red queen #marecalfanfic #marecal fanfic #broken throne #war storm #glass sword #marebarrow #mare barrow #tiberias calore #diana farley #victoria aveyard #red queen fanfiction

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tobesobri · 4 years

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𝓦elcome to a brand new story from me that I never thought I would be posting but here we are! This chapter is very much introductory, which is like obvious being the first chapter but tbh I don’t really do a lot of introducing characters right off the bat in a descriptive way often so this was new for me! Also, I have an old taglist from a while ago when I was originally going to post this, but I don’t want to randomly tag people who may no longer be interested SO if you’d like to be included on a taglist for upcoming chapters please let me know! Thank you!

huge massive thank you to the incredible @youresogolden-h for editing ❤️

Chapter One: Where Happiness Begins (5.4k)

Harry and Y/N are friends…. with benefits, but not the kinds you’re thinking of.

🥥MASTERLIST 🌃INSPO TAG 🌻ASK TAG 💃PLAYLIST 🛌

There was something very different when she woke that Saturday morning. Maybe her breath smelled a little worse than normal. Maybe the sun shined a little brighter through her curtains than it was supposed to...

Maybe there was someone in her bed who didn’t belong there.

“Oh my god.”

Friday night was not unlike every other night that week. There was an endless bag of chips she dug her Hot Cheeto dust covered fingers into and an over-watched series on Netflix open on her laptop in front of her. And when she wasn’t distracted by Sam and Dean Winchester, she was bawling her eyes out under the comfort of her thrifted quilt, staining her poor mismatched pillowcases.

Just like any given night.

And this Friday was no different. At least not until there was a knock on her door.

By the time she dried her face, it was almost completely unnoticeable she’d just been buried in hysterics only seconds ago.

“Harry’s coming over. You want anything from the store?” Will asked, the same Will who stuck them all together in the very beginning of splitting rent on an apartment four different ways.

He was the roommate who paid the most in rent and got the biggest room with his own private bathroom. One of the two roommates who constantly had his significant other over every night to make Y/N’s miserable time even worse. Between Will and Violet’s incessant need to take over the entire living room every weekend, Y/N was bound to end up in her own room alone crying her eyes out for no apparent reason.

Then there was her third roommate, James, who never bothered her because she was lucky to catch a fleeting glimpse of him every other week.

Y/N glanced at the phone he had pressed to his cheek, assuming Harry was on the other end of the line, on hold. Just the mention of his name sucked every sad little tear back into her skull. She didn’t know why, but having Harry around always seemed to do the trick.

Even though she barely spoke a word to him over the course of the last eighteen months she’d known him.

She buried her excitement about Harry coming over and frowned, answering as if she was she couldn’t care less even though... she cared way more than she should. “No.”

And before Will could protest, she shut the door in his face and retreated back to her bed.

Not every night was spent in agonizing spirals of self-pity and dread, but it came and went. Some days were fine. She was happy by the time she went to bed at night and didn’t have nightmares or anxiety that kept her up past her self-proclaimed bedtime. Most days, she ate regularly and went about her nightly routine with a genuine smile on her face. But recently, it had all gone to shit.

And there was no explanation. There never was. She didn’t just break up with a long-term boyfriend. No one called her an ugly bitch on the train home. Her boss didn’t yell at her for the umpteenth time about her inadequacies at work.

She was just... alone. Painfully and tragically alone.

She hated how black and white it was. That she was either happy to be alive or praying for a very large rock to fall on her and end it all. There was never an in-between and it made her feel like all her emotions were made up, like she wasn’t ever truly happy or she was sad over really stupid things.

It was a fucking nightmare.

Another agonizing thirty minutes went by before she heard from Will again. Before she heard more than just her roommate's voice through the thin walls. Before she could literally feel her

brain swell with more serotonin than she’d had in a long time when it was Harry’s voice she heard.

He was like an unusual ray of sunshine. Every time he was over at their apartment, it was like he was some kind of ancient sun god warding off all the evil spirits sitting on her shoulders. Which...she knew was quite strange, but she really couldn’t--nor did she want to--fight off how he made her feel.

Even if he wasn’t an internationally famous pop-sensation, she still couldn’t put her finger on why he made her feel like sunshine and butterflies whenever he was around. Which had been quite often recently on account of his upcoming album needing desperate help from Will.

Okay. She hadn’t heard a damn thing from the album, but the conversations they had about it weren’t always good. It was delayed, apparently, and Harry was in the middle of a massive writing block that led him to an impromptu trip to Barcelona the previous week.

And so now he was back. To work on the album, and, upon Y/N’s quiet arrival into the kitchen of her shared apartment, to pig out on junk food. Will hovered over the kitchen island while they figured out which movie, among a small stack of romantic comedies, to watch first.

Once Harry noticed her, he instantly stood up straight, shoving the last bit of a Kit-Kat bar into his mouth quickly to hide it from her; as if she cared about the Harry Styles munching on chocolate and sweets.

“What’re you doing?” Y/N asked Will, even though Harry was the only one paying her any attention. She didn’t often make eye contact with him, or even speak to him at all for that matter. But Harry was used to it. He was used to her mumbling and her short phrases. The way whenever he looked at her, she always looked away.

“Pretty Woman or Notting Hill?” Will turned to her finally, holding up both DVD boxes in his hands for Y/N to choose from, completely ignoring her previous question.

“Um... I’ve never seen them.”

Will rolled his eyes and placed the Blu-Ray boxes back down on the granite countertop, “Should’ve known that. You only watch scary shit.”

It was quiet after that for a moment. A long moment of Harry awkwardly glancing between Will and Y/N. Though his glances towards her did not come easily. Just the thought of looking at her was like his body went into fight or flight mode. Fight through the nerves and the butterflies in his stomach or fly the hell out of there.

She was like an unfriendly cat who didn’t seem to like him one bit, and it drove him insane. All his attempts to have a normal conversation with her had been fruitless. She never said more than one word to him at a time. Maybe two, if she was feeling generous. He didn’t get it at all, but he got used to it. Maybe she just didn’t have any room in her life for another person and certainly not for a person like him.

“Well, I vote for Pretty Woman,” Will said, making up everyone’s minds for them, and when he glanced at the other two, they didn’t seem to care. “Pretty Woman it is then. Y/N,” Will glanced at her exclusively while he began gathering snacks and the movie, “are you watching it too?”

“Uh.. no.” She continued into the kitchen, walking behind Harry toward the fridge and making every single nerve in his body light up. He had no idea why she, of all people on the planet he’d come into contact with, made him as nervous as she did. But, here he was. Stepping out of her way and swallowing the pit in his throat when he got a whiff of her all-too-familiar coconut scented shampoo.

And that scent just about made his head spin. It took him right back to the night he’d gotten drunk off his ass after a long day of work. She’d offered her bed to him since he was too tall for their couches, and she had been up late working herself anyways. Most of the night had been forgotten, but he very distinctly remembered stuffing his face into her pillowcases and letting the scent of her shampoo completely engulf his nostrils as he fell asleep. And it took him back to the following morning where he wobbled his hungover ass to the shower and accidentally (on purpose) used her coconut scented shampoo.

And then the entire rest of the day he smelled exactly like her and hadn’t gone a single minute without thinking of her. Thinking of her soft voice and what it would feel like to hear her saying his name just once. Thinking about the way she sometimes smiled at him like maybe she didn’t hate him as much as he thought. Thinking about her hair spread over her pillowcase and tucking loose strands behind her ear while she slept peacefully beside him...

Harry was also, very, very alone.

So alone that he spent more nights at other people’s homes, particularly Will’s, than his own. Even though he had an insanely expensive house all to himself up in the gated hills of Los Angeles, it was nothing compared to being surrounded by people he cared about instead of lifeless appliances.

He blamed it on the city. It always had a way of making him feel alienated. Even if it was the city that recognized him most often, it almost made him feel even more alone than he already was. Because none of the people he met along the way really knew him. They weren’t with him at the end of the day when he broke down on the floor in his bathroom. They didn’t see the dark parts of his life where he often wished he could take it all back just to be normal again. To have normal conversations and normal relationships with people he wasn’t constantly paranoid were trying to get something out of him.

So, in a way, he understood Y/N’s unwillingness to let him in, because he did it all the time. The thing he didn’t understand was why she had any reason to worry about the people in her life. No one was out to get her money or make themselves famous off of her. But there was a reason for it anyways, and it just about killed the curious cat in his mind every time he was at her apartment and she continued to not peep a single unnecessary word to him.

By the time he and Will had settled onto their respective spots in the living room, Harry tucked back into the cushions of their armchair and Will spread out on the loveseat opposite him, Y/N had already retreated back into her bedroom with her glass of ice water.

“Think that’s the most I’ve ever heard her talk.” Harry said, while Will skipped through the outdated commercials on the DVD.

Will’s lips turned up into a very knowing grin and he nodded, “She’s always been quiet, man. I told you not to take it personally.”

“How did you get her to talk?”

That was a question Harry had never asked before out of the countless stupid ones he had in the past. The stupidest was probably when he’d first met her and then proceeded to ask Will shortly after if Y/N was mute.

Will shrugged, “I’ve known her for a long time. It’s not like she goes on and on around me either though. That’s just how she is. And she probably just doesn’t like you that much.”

Harry huffed and sat back into his chair, giving up on it. He couldn’t force her to be his friend, as much as he wanted her to be.

The movie went on without Harry because he was completely lost in his own mind, however, Will seemed to be completely enthralled with Julia Roberts. Harry just couldn’t bring himself to focus on the television screen for more than a minute at a time.

It wasn’t until he heard a door down the hall click open that he brought himself back to reality and let his eyes wander to the sound behind him as Y/N stepped quietly out from her bedroom again. He knew she was the only other roommate home tonight and, yet, he still made the mistake of looking in her direction and, fucking finally, locking eyes with her. It was brief, but it was enough to stir up the enormous pot of butterflies in his stomach again.

Without a single word, she sat on the last unoccupied piece of furniture between the both of them, Harry still in a bit of shock and Will grinning with his eyes glued to the screen.

“Changed your mind, did you?” Will asked cheekily.

“Shut up,” she mumbled back at him before reaching toward the opened bag of untouched Hershey kisses. “Can I have one of these?”

Will finally peered over at her from his spot and then glanced at Harry across the coffee table, “You’ll have to ask Harry. He brought them.”

Her hand froze and she reluctantly turned her attention toward Harry, which had been the first time since he arrived that she voluntarily looked at him. She had no fucking clue how she was going to sit there and ask Harry for one of his Hershey kisses. Or if she even wanted them desperately enough.

The question went unasked, but the look on her face said more than enough. She was already waiting for his answer. And upon seeing the look on her face, Harry couldn’t possibly find it in himself to force her to say a damn thing. So he just cleared his throat instead, “Uh, it’s alright. You can have as many as you want.”

He watched as she grabbed a couple foil sealed chocolates and settled back into the corner of her own loveseat again, never willing to admit that he’d bought them especially for her. Because it had somehow managed to become common knowledge that they were her favorite candy and while wandering the local corner market, he spotted them and thought of her. His brain at the time thought there might be some minuscule possibility that if he brought one of her favorite foods over she might eventually start to like him.

Even if that didn’t happen though, he was still reeling from that one brief moment of interaction for the entire rest of the night. Splurging on an overpriced package of cavities had been well worth it.

It wasn’t until the movie ended that both Harry and Y/N realized Will was dead asleep. That he was no longer conscious enough to use the remote resting on his chest and turn the movie off. So, after a little while of staring at the credits, Y/N stood and grabbed it, flipping the controls until she brought up regular TV channels and then eventually settled for a horror movie Harry had never seen and had no intentions to. But, if it meant he got more time with Y/N, he’d sit through just about anything she wanted to watch.

And then finally, the sugar he’d consumed got to his head.

“Do you always watch scary movies before bed?” He asked, completely lost in his daydreams and not fully realizing he’d asked her a full-blown question until it was out of his mouth. Once he came to his senses, he wanted to shove every last word back into his mouth and pretend he never said anything.

That was, until a couple silent moments went by and she finally said something. “Makes the nightmares more interesting.”

He didn’t expect her to say anything at all, and so for her to say that, he had no idea how to respond to her. Was she being... sarcastic? He didn’t even know she was capable of being funny.

So he laughed, not too loudly in case she wasn’t joking. But all his worries were relieved when she glanced at him and giggled too.

He didn’t dare bring up any of the questions floating around in his mind in fear that she’d never speak another word to him ever again once he’d finally managed to break through the walls somehow. Now that he’d made groundbreaking progress with her, there was no way he was asking her why she never talked to him or why she was so quiet. So he kept a fine-tuned filter over what words came out of his mouth.

“Does that mean you have uninteresting nightmares then?” Harry really did try his damndest to think of anything to say that would get her to keep talking, because he wasn’t done listening to her voice or hearing bits of her brain spill out. He wanted to know everything about her, from her mouth only, but he also didn’t want to get too ahead of himself.

“Only on Sundays.”

“Why Sundays?” He asked through a muffled laugh, curious as to what she was on about.

“Because then the nightmares are about showing up at work naked on Monday morning... and that’s not very interesting.”

He couldn’t help the widespread grin on his face, or the way his eyebrows furrowed at how fucking weird she actually was. And she wasn’t even that weird. She was kind of normal, but this entire time he thought she wasn’t like him at all, so seeing her say things like a normal person was... weird.

“So what kind of nightmares does watching Annabelle at...” Harry checked his watch, and went into momentary shock at the time, but also couldn’t care less because he wasn’t leaving now, “two in the morning get you?”

She smiled, and refusing to look at him, settled for planting her eyes on the television instead. “Walking into work naked on Monday morning but,” she held up a finger in anticipation and Harry smiled wider, “all my coworkers are creepy dolls.”

“Guess at that point it doesn't matter if you’re naked then.”

She thought about for a moment before giggling at what he said, “No, I guess it doesn’t.”

There was silence between them again, but it was different this time. It was peaceful. It wasn’t full of awkward tension and things Harry wished she would say. It felt like two friends hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.

“Are you sleeping here or...” She finally asked him and he wasn’t sure if that was her way of asking him to leave or not. But something about it made him feel like she was building her walls back up again.

“Oh, uh... if that’s okay. Think I’m too tired to drive.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just wanted to know because I can sleep in Violet’s room and you can have my bed like before. If you want.”

“Oh, um, are you sure?” Under any other circumstances, he would have said no, that the short, uncomfortable couch would be fine. That he would get over the pain in his legs and back in the morning because he didn’t want to invade her space, again. Unfortunately for him, he already had the knowledge of what her pillows smelled like and how soft her sheets were and he desperately wanted to invade her space again.

She nodded. “It’s no problem. I’ll go clean up a little. Just let yourself in.”

She was gone before he could get another word out. And while he listened to her footsteps as she walked away from him, he stared blankly up at the ceiling, resting his neck back on the chair. It felt like he’d just been through a fever dream, like none of it was real. Not only did he have a normal conversation with her, but now she was offering her bed to him again as well.

He needed a moment to process things.

When she got done tidying up her room and replacing her blanket with a clean one for Harry, he appeared cautiously in the doorway, yawning as he watched her gather some of her things to take to Violet’s room directly across the hall.

“I turned the TV off and the lights. Will’s still quite dead out there.”

She smiled to herself and gave him a very fleeting glance before picking the last item she needed up off her side table and then finally facing him. “It’s all yours.”

Ushering him in, he stepped into her room like he wasn’t actually allowed to. Like he had never been there before. Like he hadn’t nearly puked all over her poor white bed sheets that one night.

She replaced his spot in the doorway as he sat down on the edge of her bed. He stared at her back as she walked away, not getting his hopes up about her saying anything else to him. So, when she did turn to face him again, it just about knocked the air out of him.

“Oh and Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you try to not drool on my pillows this time?”

He glanced at the top of her bed where all her pillows were neatly stacked and cringed at the horrible memories he had and at the fact that he’d actually drooled on her pillows. Like a fucking animal. Like a dog who couldn’t control himself.

“Sorry ‘bout that...” He looked at her again, genuinely apologetic and completely embarrassed by his past, drunken self.

“It’s okay.” She smiled reassuringly, “Night.”

“G’night.” Harry mumbled just before she left and closed the door behind her.

And in all the talk about drool, it wasn’t until he was cuddled under her blanket and up against her mound of pillows that he realized something. She’d said his name, out loud, to his face, where he could hear it and obsess over it and never get sick of it. He repeated it over and over in his head and kept himself awake just thinking about the way it had sounded and if he’d ever get to hear her say his name again.

The faint hum of voices right outside the door woke him slightly. His entire body was still asleep except for about half of his brain and one eye that peeked open to investigate the noise. He could tell it was early, though, his eyes stung and his body ached to go fully back to sleep.

He could make out Violet’s voice, which confused his foggy brain because he swore Will had mentioned she’d be gone all weekend, and yet here she was yelling in the hallway and interrupting his sleep.

“Please just sleep on the couch then, I need to be alone right now.” Harry furrowed his eyebrows at how distressed she sounded and flinched when the door across the hall just about slammed shut.

He heard an exasperated sigh and then squeezed his eyes shut when he saw movement under the door to Y/N’s bedroom just moments before it opened. He pretended to be asleep for as long as he could, listening to the footsteps as they carefully wandered into the room.

And then a hushed, but very exclamatory, “Ow!” got him to roll onto his back and knuckle his eyes open.

She looked at him apologetically while grasping the big toe of her right foot. “Sorry.”

“S’okay.” His voice was a lot groggier and a lot more raspy than she expected it to be. And she kind of hated herself for enjoying the view, a little too much, of Harry waking up in her bed. While she got her thoughts under control, he continued. “Did Violet just kick you out?”

She simply nodded and went back to digging into her cabinets for spare pillows.

“What time is it?” He asked.

“Four-thirty.”

Then he slowly pulled her blanket off, still dressed in his shirt and joggers from last night but without his socks and rings he’d removed before bed.

She immediately turned to him, however. “You don’t have to get up. I’m fine on the couch.” “No, I would feel bad.”

“It’s okay, really. Don’t worry about it.” She got him to stop what he was doing and lay back into the bed again while she opened up more cabinet doors to find her extra bed sets.

He cleared his throat after a little while of watching her, and gathered up the largest bundle of courage he ever had, to say what he was about to say next. With nervous, shaking fingers and a cold sweat on the back of his neck, he voiced the stupidest idea he’d ever had in his life.

“We can just both sleep here... if that’s fine.”

She froze and he knew he’d made a mistake. Why in the actual fuck did he just suggest that? Maybe he was sleep deprived. Maybe he was still reeling from last night. Maybe he had some false sense of security with her and completely forgot about the fact that last night had been the first time she’d said that many words to him. Of course she wasn’t about to climb in bed with him.

“Oh, um...” She finally found a couple pillows and pulled them from the cabinet while turning her attention back to Harry. She could not deny how desperately she wanted to crawl back into her own bed. And have a warm body next to her, which she had literally never had. No one had ever slept in her bed besides Harry, and definitely not with her. Sure, she’d slept in friends’ beds before on occasion, but this was different. It was her own bed and this was Harry, not her college friends.

So maybe it was the sleep-deprivation talking.

“Okay.”

In all forms but physical, his jaw had just hit the floor. Never in a million years or in any other infinite alternate realities would he have thought they’d end up here, with Harry sliding over to one side of the bed to make room for her while she crawled in beside him. Her queen size gave lots of room in between them, so it wasn’t as weird as it sounded. It was just two, very tired loose-knit friends sharing a bed for a few hours.

“Goodnight, again.” Harry mumbled, realizing too late that it was technically morning now.

“Mhm,” was the only response he got out of her when she curled up under the blanket they shared and went straight back to sleep with her back to him.

And once his nerves settled, he did the same.

It was a lot easier than either of them thought possible. And for a long while, they stayed on their respective sides of the bed. But once she was lost in dreamland and he was already letting out soft snores, there was no control over what happened next. She turned and cuddled right up to his side as if her unconscious mind thought he was some kind of pillow to cradle. She wasn’t all to blame, though, as his arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her even closer. Closer than either of them had been to another living being in a long time. As close as her forearm spread across his chest and her head nestled into his neck. Close enough to smell his cologne but not realize why or stop any of it from happening. Not that she would have wanted to if she had any clue what she was doing. Not that he would have wanted to either.

With his hand digging into her waist, they both were mildly aware of what was going on, but both were also still too lost in their exhaustion. So, it just happened. And they held each other tighter as the minutes passed and the dreams took over once again. Because they both needed it. To hold and to be held. To feel the pressure of another person and the heartbeat on their skin. And all the loneliness in their bones melting away with each other’s touch as if they’d never been alone in the first place.

The only thing that could ever separate them was the knock on her door at nine a.m. Everything was a little fuzzy at first before she blinked a few times and realized that what she’d been using as a pillow wasn’t exactly stuffed with cotton and lined in silk. With a gasp, she pulled away from him abruptly. Ceasing all contact. Not because she wanted to necessarily, but because she would rather Harry not find out she was all over him like she had just been.

“Oh my god,” she whispered quietly in disbelief, mentally punching herself in the face for what she’d just woken up to.

But her embarrassment only skyrocketed when she dragged her eyes up his neck to his chin, then his nose and finally saw him staring right back at her with furrowed brows like he was just as confused as she was. When he glanced at the door is when she moved to do something about it.

Quickly, she pulled the covers off of herself and opened her door only the smallest amount possible. Just enough to peak her head out, but not enough for Will to see Harry in her bed. Where she’d just been sleeping right next to him. Or... right on top of him, as it seemed.

“Did Harry go home last night?”

With absolutely no plan to go along with her lie, she still figured it was the better option than to admit to Will she’d been in the same bed as Harry. That she’d been all fucking over him for who knows how long.

“Um, yeah. After you fell asleep.”

From behind her, Harry quietly smacked his hands over his face and fell back dramatically into her fluffy pillows.

“Oh, ok. Vi won’t come out of her room, but I’m going to go get breakfast from Jade’s. You want anything?”

“No, I’m alright, thanks.” Her words fused together in a flash, just trying to get the least amount of information out as quickly as possible so she didn't accidentally say something suspicious.

She shut the door on him with a smile before Will could even offer her a pastry from their most loved local cafe. Once that was dealt with, and she had a moment to gather her thoughts as she stared at her door, she slowly turned around to face Harry.

Her cheeks were probably bright red and full of embarrassment seeing him there amongst her sheets; as if once she had turned around he wouldn’t actually be there, like maybe she’d dreamt the whole thing.

But no.

He was there. And he was very real. And very much looking at her like they were both insane.

“I’m sorry,” they said it at the exact same time, cutting each other off from saying anything else.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, um...” Harry started once he found an opportunity to speak again, but he didn’t exactly know what he was apologizing for. He wasn’t sorry for how they’d ended up. He had the best four and a half hours of sleep he’d ever had.

“I shouldn’t have been like... all on you like that.” She averted her eyes when she spoke, not able to look him straight on and admit it. And she knew she was only apologizing because she felt embarrassed and like she had to. She felt like she’d invaded Harry’s space and took advantage of him.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

She just shrugged. Nothing he said at this point could make her feel any less horrible about it. And even so, some part deep down inside of her, when she finally looked at him again, wanted to get right back into that spot with him for another few hours.

It just felt... right. And even though she couldn’t remember what she dreamed about, she knew it wasn’t her usual nightmare. She had felt safe and secure, and not so alone anymore, sleeping beside him like that and she felt stupid knowing it would never happen again.

“I should get going then. Before Will comes back and realizes I didn’t actually leave.” Harry let out an exasperated laugh as he began getting up, sitting himself on the edge of her bed with his back facing her as he stretched. The fabric of his shirt tugged along his muscles as he flexed them awake, and she grew far too overwhelmed thinking about the fact that those fucking arms of his had been around her for the better half of the morning. She could still feel him holding onto her and his grip at her side.

She needed a very cold shower and some fresh air.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #onlyhuman

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skeletalroses · 3 years

Text

I was going to submit this anonymously to one of the bigger aspec blogs but it got so long that I’d feel like a pain in the ass. I’m posting this because I’ve recently landed in a bit of a difficult situation in the vein of Just Aroace Things, and I’m not sure what to do or even how to feel. I’m hoping to get some advice from the community re: a topic that comes up from time to time---navigating roommate/housing situations as an aroace, particularly when your potential roommate’s romance fucks you over.

I met my best friend, A, our sophomore year of college when we got paired up via roommate lottery. We clicked right away and had a blast living together. Unfortunately it only lasted a year, since the best option for my major was to transfer to another campus while for her it was best to stay put. We’ve known each other for nine years now and live in different states, but we visit regularly and had always talked about living together again once we both moved away from our parents.

I’m aroace, sex- and romance-repulsed. A is super considerate and supportive of this. She even discovered recently that she’s demisexual (which she learned about while researching the symbolism of the asexual flag! On her own, completely unprompted! Because she thought it would help her understand me more! See? Super supportive!). She is, however, very, very alloromantic. Up until now this has just been one more facet of our overall odd-couple dynamic (I’m an Addams and she’s a Disney fairy), which has always been something we’ve laughed at and reveled in.

A couple months ago, however, A moved out of her parents’ place and in with her boyfriend of a few years. I’m still with my parents, which suits me fine for the time being, but I eventually want to move out. Like I said, A and I have long talked about living together. We never made any specific plans, but I’ve asked her before to verify that yes, this is a thing we’re both Actually down to do when the time’s right. But that was a good while ago, before she moved in with Boyfriend. We visited last weekend and I brought up the subject again, because I’ve been unsure about it since that whole development.

“Feel free to say no; I won’t be offended; I just want to know how my options stand at this point. We’ve talked in the past about rooming together again. With Boyfriend in the picture now, is that still on the table?”

A’s answer: “Boyfriend has a lot of anxiety, so probably not. Sorry. He doesn’t even like having his family stay over. You’re welcome to stay a few days but not for like weeks on end.”

This was a calm conversation had over cocktails in the mall. She asked to make sure my parents weren’t threatening to kick me out or anything; I assured her that they weren’t, and I wasn’t moving anytime soon, and it’s okay that my rooming with her is out.

Only I’m not that okay with it. I wasn’t confident she’d say yes, but I did kind of think it was likely, and moreover I’m realizing how much I was unconsciously banking on that plan. I’ve been sans income during the pandemic, and I have a fuckton of economic anxiety to begin with. A’s a STEM major in a big city who easily found a solidly-paying job right out of college. She gets promotions and raises and shit. I’m a humanities major in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere where all my impressive qualifications (which I do have) can’t get me anything with a living wage below management level, let alone something in my field. And I’m never going to have that built-in cohabitant in the form of a romantic or sexual partner that allos like A can take for granted. A was the person I could split costs with so as to maybe live semi-decently with someone compatible. Without her, my chances of having that have plummeted.

And it’s all because she got a romosexual partner. This guy who’s known her half as long as I have; who never worked her through the trials and eventual breakup of her previous long-term, engaged-to-be-engaged relationship; who has himself caused her massive amounts of grief, suffering, and sometimes outright danger through his inability to competently handle the drama in his personal life that should never have touched her, all while her mother would write letters to me asking me to come visit because, actual quote, A only smiles when I’m around. He was the reason she would be too depressed to function, and I had to long-distance therapize her through it even though she refused to take the basic step of leaving this grown-ass man at least until he got his shit together, because “he needs me.”

It’s like this dude calls the shots in A’s and my relationship now. I hadn’t seen her in seven months because every time we planned a weekend to hang out, it’d get canceled because Boyfriend wanted to go see his family or something (and he can’t do that without her, I fucking guess). Even this last visit got cut down to overnight when it was supposed to be the long weekend, because Boyfriend wanted to make other plans. And now my best option for future living arrangements is apparently down the shitter because of him. It’d have been one thing if A doesn’t want to live with me anymore because she and he need their allo space or whatever the fuck couples do (still amatonormative and lousy for me). But as far as I understand, it’s not even that. It’s not her. It’s Boyfriend. A and I can be planning something for the two of us for weeks, for months, for years, then it all goes away in a minute because ehh, it kinda cramps Boyfriend’s style. I’m, as A called me, her “best friend soulmate.” I Was Here First. I never fucking made her cry. But I can’t kiss her or fuck her, so I automatically take a backseat to the one who can. I don’t need to be her Number One, but I don’t appreciate being pushed aside at Boyfriend’s every whim.

A, I’m sure, doesn’t realize how it looks from my angle. I know she cares about me and doesn’t want me to feel devalued. She’s just an oblivious alloro. I’m not even sure Boyfriend’s intentionally hogging her. (To be clear, I don’t think he’s a bad person; I’ve only met him a handful of times but I reliably clock my friends’ truly shitty partners on less. I haven’t heard about any crises in the past year or so, so I guess he’s finally managing his baggage well enough that A’s life can go smoothly and not suck.) I’m not unsympathetic to anxiety either; I’m chronically mentally ill and I’ve had my share. And I get we’re little more than strangers at this point. But I hate that he can just singlehandedly veto me and A rooming together ever. It’s much more of a blow to my likely quality of life than he or A---or tbh even I did, before this point---realize.

I hate feeling like I’m being jealous and needy. Maybe A just genuinely likes him better and it’s not only an amatonormative thing. I know I’m not entitled to live with her; it’s not like we promised or anything. But the option getting shut down really made me realize how much I resent not having it, and how much I kind of resent Boyfriend in general.

Which brings me to the asking-for-advice part, to the maybe two people who’ve read this far. Aspecs on here have talked about how amatonormativity fucks over single people and especially aros in terms of housing and life in general. Has anyone dealt with a situation like mine? How do you manage the amatonormative behavior of people in your life snatching your prospects out from under you, or feeling like it has? Is my reaction even reasonable? If so, how should I bring it up to A? This would be the closest thing we’ve ever had to a conflict, and also I’m...not great at being vulnerable. I can’t even vagueblog about these topics because my social media presence is limited to Tumblr and hers to Facebook. Hell, maybe I should just forget it for now, since I’m not changing housing anytime soon anyway, and cross that bridge when I get to it. I wouldn’t ask her to leave him, since their relationship seems to be going a lot smoother than it had been. But goddamn, am I filled with aroace salt about this.

#aromantic #amatonormativity #arophobia #asexual #aroace #might delete this later #sorry about the rant #why this is hell nor am I out of it

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kishimoto-did-us-dirty · 4 years

Note

I don’t know if I’ve asked before but would you write for Lee or Choji? Maybe a girl that really likes them and they’re super surprised to find out. Could be friends to lovers?? I just think they deserve more writing! I’m also a hopeless romantic. 😅

Why yes I do~ Thank you for the super cute request! <3

Choji is so underrated I love this plump boy so much T^T both of them are so genuinely kind I love them!!!

Warnings: a teeny bit angsty

OMG WAITTTT

I JUST SAW THAT THIS SAID “SURPRISED TO FIND OUT” T^T

I’M SO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYY :(

just lmk and I'll re-do them no problem :(

Enjoyyyy!

Friends To Lovers with Choji and Lee

Choji and you have known each other since you were children in the academy

You guys got along super well, and once it was discovered that you got along with Shikamaru too, you’ve been a set trio ever since

You three are attached at the hip

You guys have the most chill and supportive friendship amongst you

Choji is there to talk about your problems and help you emotionally

While Shikamaru is there to solve your problems and help you rationally

It’s a 10/10 friendship. The type you see in the movies.

You guys are never afraid to be honest with each other and accept one another completely as you are

The three of you always have great laughs and even better conversations

You yourself are particularly funny and make up for a lot of the lighter mood in the group

But you and Choji always got along a little more

You liked Shikamaru for sure, but Choji and you were just... closer

Not in the way that Shikamaru and Choji are close -- those two are each other’s ride or die, there’s no equalling that

But it’s obvious that you’re special to one another, especially once you guys become genin

It’s in the way he always compliments you

It’s in the way he always chuckles at your unfunny jokes

It’s in the way he always assures you that you’re amazing

It’s in the way he always lets you rest your head on his shoulder whenever the three of you are cloud watching

It’s in the way he always offers you food that he’s usually protective over

It’s in the way he always fiddles with your hair or rubs patterns into your back whenever you’re next to him

It’s in the way he never stands up for himself but will take on an army to protect you

And it’s been like this ever since you were little

Everyone can see right through it -- the two of you like each other. A lot.

But both of you are just so oblivious

Shikamaru just watches the whole thing go down for years with affectionate exasperation

When you guys end up on different teams, he’s a little heartbroken and so are you

He makes sure that you’re always healthy and especially well fed lol

He worries about you on missions

This all lasts for years

What breaks the two of you out of it is Asuma’s death

He’s been hit, and he’s been hit hard

He doesn't know what to do -- he ends up just softly crying to you in a sense of loss

And you’re there for him every step of the way

Being so close to death, especially one of someone precious, makes people recognize the fragility of life

He begins to see the people precious to him in a new light

Especially you

He asks Shikamaru about it, who has long since known that the two of you liked each other

Shikamaru lets him know that there’s no chance of him being rejected (without saying you like Choji) and just lays out the two options he has:

1) There’s a war approaching. You don’t tell them and they go off to fight and could potentially die just like Asuma.

2) You tell them and they don’t die bc now the two of you have something to fight for: your future together.

Choji decides to do it

It takes him a long ass time though

Maybe 4-6 months?

Not because he’s scared (well, partially), but because he wants to remember you as the exact way he fell in love with you for just a little longer

It ends up being over a hang out with some chips and giggles that he tells you

You guys are just sitting on a hill and talking, your head on his shoulder again

Shikamaru isn’t there bc Choji told him his plan

It’s honestly just really casual and sweet

blUSHING

You can imagine what he says lol

You tell him you feel the sameeee 👀

and then y’all kith. Just a cute peck.

It’s so sickeningly sweet. You may get a cavity.

Anywho, falling into a relationship with him doesn’t feel much different than before

It’s just the same except more affection and kissing

He LIVES for receiving cheek kisses

Also loves receiving praise since his self-esteem ain’t the best

When y’all announce that you’re dating everyone is unimpressed bc they all already knew it was all a matter of time

Naruto is hella confused

He thought y’all had been together since the academy days

Which

You kind of were, now that you thought about it.

10000/10 friend

Supports you unconditionally and will scream as much off of the hokage monument

Always has your back

Any accomplishment that you have ends up with him being prouder than you are

You two are just pretty in tune with each other tbh

You definitely admire him from afar

You liked him first for sure

He’s just super one track minded and oblivious that it was hard for him to notice

You guys were still friends though and bonded through shared missions, training and getting food together after either/or

You just admire his dedication and persistence as well as how hard he tries to make his dreams into a reality

Not only that, but he’s so attentive to your needs and emotions that he’s a really steady figure within your life

No one except a few people close to you know just how much you admire him

You don’t want to distract him from his goals as a Shinobi and tbh it doesn’t seem like he ever will be

You’re convinced for a while that he’ll never like anyone until he’s retired

So when you see him with Sakura it lowkey saddens you

Because that means he does like someone, he just doesn’t like you

However Tenten, who has her suspicions on how you feel about him, casually mentions in passing that although he really does think she’s pretty, she believes Lee’s pursuing of Sakura is only a product of his rivalry with Naruto and Sasuke

Thank god for Tenten, the queen that she is

It’s a long process with Lee

Unlike Choji who always liked you, Lee takes a longer time to see you for just how amazing you really are

It starts out with training

He punches the training stump at a bad angle accidentally and cuts his finger. It’s not bad, but he’s bleeding a decent amount for a cut

He tries to continue but you won’t let him and insist on him being properly bandaged before he continues

It’s when you’re wrapping his hand that he sort of realizes how great you are to him

This doesn’t directly lead to any feelings though

He just starts noticing how great you are in general

He thinks it’s totally platonic too

You land a good hit on him? Wow, you’re so amazing!

You stop to take a drink of water? What an awesome self-caring person you are!

You bandage someone up? Could you be any better?

He just starts to notice things about you that he doesn’t even think are that important, just normal admiration for his friend

You of course already admire everything about him

So when you get asked out by someone else and he hears about it??? 👀👀👀👀

Lee can’t help but think to himself that they just don’t know how amazing you are as well as he does

Again, he thinks it’s totally platonic

Boy is dense

But it still really bothers him

You didn’t even say yes to the guy

But it’s just a matter of him thinking about you with them

Now the boy is not a control freak or dominating product of toxic masculinity

He knows you have a free will and that you don’t belong to him or anything

It was just the thought of you not spending as much time with him and showing off how amazing you are to him that got him sad :(

And then he just kind of realized that he wants to spend all the time he can with you

And so he does lol

BUT HE STILL THINKS IT’S A PLATONIC FEELING

You start recognizing how much time he’s been spending with you lately and how much he seems to want to be around you

And so with a little push from Tenten you decide to confess

But when you do, Lee kind of just goes:

“Oh... so that's what I’m feeling...”

And realizes that he didn't just want to spend time with you, he just wanted you

And so from there, you got to show him just how amazing you are every day forth 😌

SORRY THESE LOWKEY SUCKED I WROTE THEM IN BETWEEN ONLINE CLASSES T^T

#naruto #naruto headcanons #lee x reader #choji x reader #choji akimichi #rock lee #naruto fluff #choji fluff #lee fluff #lee headcanons #Choji headcanons

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norgestan · 3 years

Note

norandro, eva/nora, amiris 👀❣️

NORANDRO:

i mean, starting off pretty strong with my favorite eskam couple. oh god. THEM. as someone who cannot stomach season 2 and also skipped william's clip and william's clip only when season 4 of skam came to an end... i will ALWAYS love what eskam did for this couple. i think i explain it pretty well on my season 3 review, but to sum up those thoughts: i think this is what noorhelm was truly supposed to be, they're both pretty flawed characters with great arcs who make their get-together super interesting and organic, alejandro is my baby and the most developed william and i'll die on this hill, etc.

especially i think that norandro, for a ship that got way less screentime that all their other counterparts, is by FAR the most developed couple in all of them and up there in eskam too, and although they weren't the focus of most of the show, it's clear as day that the writers really tried to tell a compelling story with these two - and they succeeded. it's shocking to me that eskam actually got to link the "everyone is fighting a battle" motto that has become a meme for how poorly incorporated it is on the skamverse, as alejandro effectively behaved around that motto: during season 3 and onwards, which is where i believe he's fully reformed as a character and love interest, he never hurts nora - nor anyone - in any way. he struggles to tell nora how he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want to hurt her, and in the miscommunication fest that their first clip of s3 is, i've always LOVED that nora calls alejandro a "fuckboy" still, and he's clearly annoyed by this, but doesn't bite back. he's always so mindful of her feelings even though he's struggling himself, BECAUSE he understands that his suffering is not the center of the world! because treating people with kindness is a strength in itself! and it continues like that for the rest of the season. like, at his most petty, he just sends a text to nora calling her a "fuckboy", which is honestly hilarious. he deals with a lot of jealousy because of nora's new relationship, yet he values her friendship so much that he never snaps at her, he never lets it show when he's talking to her, and he's never passive-aggressive about it - you can tell that he's so genuinely glad that they're still friends after all. god, the clip where he realizes that miquel is a shit boyfriend while he's talking to nora... imagine the things any other william would've said there. imagine the ways alejandro could've been petty or overprotective and fuck everything up. instead, he recognizes nora needs space and even though it hurts to be away from her, he does it because he understands it's what she needs - and his own feelings and entitlement (that he previously showed, too!) aren't the most important thing. it's beautiful. UGH. what a great character eskam crafted, there.

i like them well enough in s4, too. i think, for what they had to work with, they took them in a good direction and their happy ending feels deserved. it's just that... personally, i wish there was more introspection of nora's aftermath in s3, which is also one of my complaints with season 3 - and where characters like emma could've been SO good. although i understand the intentions, a lot of nora's internal turmoil regarding her abusive relationship with miquel are only tied to her desire to be with alejandro. it's frustrating that it became so boy-focused when the girl squad was the center of the emotional climax of nora's season. to me, the solution is still in giving the pov's to the girl squad and not... random characters lol, but oh well. i think eskam did good there and i still love this couple the most!!! i just wish there was an universe where their story doesn't have to be wrapped up in one season and we can get actual glimpses of a beautiful slow burn where they can finally get together and make their relationship work - and this is where the fanfic part comes in, i guess! as someone who loves the couple, i liked seeing them lovey-dovey in the background of s4, but also i wouldn't have been too mad if they held off from making them completely canon and only hinted their status as endgame, kinda how they did with eva and jorge. oh, and speaking of eva, i guess...

NOREVA:

i guess, the main thing with them is that i love norandro so much that i can't really see nora with any other love interest??????? now, platonically. UGH. 12/10. anyone who's seen season 3 should know and i shouldn't even have to explain it tbh. i love the focus that is put on their friendship and how emotionally charged it is when it comes to miquel and the aftermath of all that. like, a similar thing is done with norandro - because at that point, nora and alejandro were exclusively friends, but it becomes even more relevant when it's about eva. eva who, you know, was in a toxic relationship herself. i love that she herself brings up her relationship with jorge when she's talking about miquel, and how wary she is of everything that happening. the fact that she's the first one to sense it feels so right!!! i love that eskam really made them close and gave them the window scene, which is both so powerful on its message and a true love letter to female friendships.

i think eva is a really underrated eskam character as it is, like... people really don't understand how great of a character she is and how much she's grown. they are quick to call her a boring, ooc party girl once s2 rolls around, like eskam didn't spend TIME making eva herself declare that hooking up with cristian (and cristian ONLY!) was something she did out of fun and she was decided to stop as soon as it stopped being fun for her. moreover, eva is such a perceptive person: she's been that way since s1 and it has only carried across for the entirety of the show since then. and when pairing two really good characters together, like eva and nora, you really can't go wrong. their friendship brings great things out of both of them and it goes through its own arc during nora's season, whereas other seasons either dump eva as noora's bff midway through or just make them really close to introduce character drama but don't really do anything to their dynamic as it is.

romantically... sigh. i'm sorry LOL as much as i love girls kissing and wlw romance done right... i don't see potential for this relationship outside their platonic dynamic. which is, btw, incredibly strong and beautiful. i'm super contented with how eskam handled their friendship and therefore i wouldn't want anything else from them, and it's not like nooreva where the chemistry was THERE. however! i'm always open to see people's interpretations of what romantic noreva could be. wasn't it you who wrote that beautiful fic of nora realizing she's bi and falling for eva after season 3? because now THAT'S the shit i'm looking for. i think there's a lot of potential there which i'd like to see explored in fic, but other than that, i love their relationship how it is and i've never felt a desire to see them as each other romantic interests.

AMIRIS:

first things first: why did eskam NEVER confirm cris having an embarrassing, sweet, confusing childhood crush on amira? i mean, it's my headcanon that she'll later realize it and she'll jolt awake and think "holy FUCK" but like... it's a thing that isaks are into their jonases. why didn't it happen here :(((((

being honest, childhood friends to lovers has never been my thing? a simple friends to lovers doesn't do it for me: i like my relationships rocky, with lots of character moments and whose survival and success depend only on the people involved making efforts to change and do better. if you've seen s4... yeah, that's not really the case. it's just disappointing because damn, amiris is the realest thing indeed, but also... what case are the writers doing for them? because it was only irene and hajar doing the intense gazing and bringing all the chemistry home. s4 cris is a mess and a half, and while i like the idea of the bench scene featuring both of them, and being more about cris reminding amira the reasons she's made it this far instead of lecturing her about sucking it up better... the result is still lackluster. there are SO many issues on their friendship that were introduced and then dropped, and it's really nice that cris finally is there to comfort amira when shit goes down, it truly is! but what else is there? it's just a small part of s4 being a bunch of missed potential. they could've REALLY done something great with their relationship and bring back and close cris' development in the show, but we only got... well, nothing. back to 0. amira has to live with those problems, now. things like that really make it seem like once amira broadens her horizons, she won't really go back to her friendship with the girls, and cris will be a lingering wound of the past. oh well.

ehem. romantically!!!!!!! as i said, cris was totally crushing on amira at some point. like... canon really makes a point at making cris' brother amira's love interest, where dani has nothing to offer to amira than cris hasn't done yet. iftar on a rooftop? ha, loser, cris did it first. admiring her passion and her faith? cris does it arguably way better than dani. longtime pining? dude. go home. okay, i'll cut dani soto some slack since it's not about him lol. point is, if amira was charmed by all of those things, then what tells me that the option of her and cris being a thing is off the table? at the end of the day, they're indeed a relationship that needs a lot of work and patience to last. the 500k slow burn is writing itself, really.

(regardless of amiris' future, i still think irene and hajar have to do a cute romcom romance at some point. their chemistry is off the charts.)

#skam españa #putting a read more thingy because as usual i've gone in too deep #also yes. i did mark 'i want to kiss them' in every ship. and what about it #thank you so much for your ask adelaide!!!!!!!! <3 #answered

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

Text

Accidentally deleted my Tyrian and Watts asks while I was trying to fix a mistake so... Sorry about that, everyone! Here they are! Tyrian and Watts for the RWBY character asks!

Let’s do Tyrian first, because I have less to say about him, I feel like.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. Dysfunctional villainous romance of the century, no one knows how they’ve managed to make it to their tenth anniversary without killing each other, including them. Tyrian/Salem is my second top ship for him. Major Bellatrix/Voldy vibes with this one, but I could see it. Tyrian/Hazel is my third ship for lack of options. Does this one make sense? No. But I can at least see Tyrian being super flirty and Hazel being endlessly tired, but never really stopping it. (Also I hate Hazel so much lol.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Tyrian/Qrow sucks for me. Like... I kinda feel like two people fighting each other just gets shippers, which is fine and totally understandable. But for me, Tyrian poisoning Qrow and almost killing him and calling his beloved niece a bitch and then killing Clover is a big no from me, dog. On that note! Tyrian/Clover is also one big no from me, since Clover murdered him. And Tyrian/Ozpin is another really big no from me. Tyrian and his crazy Salem worship can stay five hundred and fifty feet away from my son.

My biggest criticism for the character

They went a little too much on the crazy in the fourth and fifth season and it made him feel annoying. Like, I don’t mind the Bellatrix vibes, but I do mind the movie version Bellatrix vibes, sometimes. It just got kinda annoying. I wish his crazy was always more on the dangerous side and less on the kooky side, but that’s just personal opinions.

My favorite thing about the character

The way people are so uncomfortable around him. Whenever Tyrian talks to Emerald or Mercury, he’s honestly freaky. Like both me and the characters are waiting for him to snap. That’s a great quality in a villain that we’re meant to hate or love to hate. He has a real presence and it’s enjoyable.

A headcanon I have about them

Tyrian doesn’t often try to act normal, but he can, and he’s got a great ‘respectable, cool guy’ act that’s actually a little reminiscent of Qrow or Clover. He’s even passed himself as a Huntsman here and there.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

More involvement in volumes 4 and 5, and I’d treat him a bit more seriously and make him a bit more dangerous. Maybe I’d have him wound a member of Team RNJR in his attack as well as poison Qrow (maybe give Jaune a reason to unlock his semblance in season 4 and in response to the pain of a member of his team. Also, his ‘Tyrian purple’ color should be more than just the color of his eyes. Like, how come so many RWBY characters season 4 and onward have such boring colors? I’d give Tyrian some strong purple and pink.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Tyrian alludes to the animal fable ‘the Scorpion and the Frog,’ and that’s... really in name only, I think. A part of me wants to give them some kind of points for having Qrow work with him against Clover, only for Tyrian to kill Clover, which lines up with his ‘its just my nature’ scorpion stinging the frog so that they’ll both drown and die. But they didn’t mean for Qrow to really be wrong! They didn’t mean for the lesson to be ‘Qrow shouldn’t have trusted the poisonous villain’ it was ‘wowza does Qrow’s semblance hurt him. :( Too bad Clover got himself killed.’ Which makes the whole allusion kind of suck.

Now for Watts, the single best villain in my opinion.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. See above. This ship would be a dysfunctional mess, but it’d be a wild ride. Watts/Villain!Ironwood. I kind of hate this ship when it’s ‘fallen hero turned villain’ Ironwood. But if he actually had been written as a secret villain or obviously headed that way from the start, I can see him and Watts also being a dysfunctional mess of a wild ride ship, only with way more ‘evil power couple’ vibes than Tyrian and Watts would have. Also my favorite version of this features Watts having been the one to build Penny (maybe by stealing the plans from Pietro) and him and Ironwood raising a still bright and cheerful, still innocent and trusting, villain Penny who will attack to kill with a smile on her face and a ‘it was nice meeting you!’ And this is very weird and niche but Watts/Evil Stepsister (specifically the one with the sharp bangs and highlights.) Someone sent me an ask saying the Evil Stepmother and stepsisters should’ve been connected to Salem and gotten Cinder involved and I totally agree with this. I then started envisioning a world where the step sisters competed with Cinder and all three of them were raised in Salem’s circle. In this version of things, I could totally picture one of the step sisters having a romantic tension driven connection with Watts and the two of them subtly flirting sometimes (and bonding over their mutual hatred of Cinder.) I picked the sister with bangs for no real reason except that I like her look more.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Watts/Cinder. Watts thinks of her like a bratty little girl, and Cinder kills him. Watts/Lionheart. Kinda really hate this one because of how clearly Lionheart was terrified of him. Just a bit uncomfortable for me to see that in a relationship. Watts/Hero!Ironwood or Watts/HeroTurnedVillain/Ironwood. Sorry, but Ironwood in canon got such a bad, bad portrayal in season 8 and the end of season 7, and I just can’t help but blame Watts for quite a bit of it. I only like them as a ship if Ironwood is an antagonist from the start.

My biggest criticism for the character

They shouldn’t have killed him! He was one of Salem’s best followers and one of the best villains and it was such a big mistake to kill literally one of the only actual loyal followers. It threw off any character development for Cinder and it was a big mistake. I really wanted the Cinder / Watts / Neo team up to keep going! I’m so disappointed it got thrown away.

My favorite thing about the character

Watts is an entitled, petty bastard, and I think that’s so good for a villain that isn’t meant to be social commentary (because tbh, RWBY never should’ve tried to be social commentary.) Watts isn’t sympathetic, he’s an Atlas born and raised guy in a three piece suit, he’s posh, he’s upset because he wasn’t given exactly what he wanted. Most of the villains in RWBY are either victims of abuse, systemic oppression, or poverty, and that’s... Not fun in a show that’s never handled social commentary well and is about magical girls destroying Voldemort/Satan with the power of friendship (Ruby literally never says anything about Faunus rights iirc.) Watts is refreshing because he’s exactly the type of villain that you can expect in a show like what RWBY should’ve been, and he flourishes as that. Why would we be sympathetic to Watts when he’s just doing this all because he wasn’t picked first for his tech? Why would we feel soured towards conflicts with Watts and Team RWBY? He’s just a petty bastard being evil because he was snubbed. Why would we be frustrated that incredibly significant problems are being shoved to the side with Watts? He’s a fun villain, he’s not meant to be more, he’s not meant to make you emotionally invested only to then be gutted for it. You can hate to love him without it feeling bad. Maybe that’s why he’s just my favorite non-kid villain (other than Roman.)

A headcanon I have about them

Watts has been trying to build his own AI robot like Penny, in his spare time. He wanted it to be done in time to become a Maiden, but it wasn’t, and Salem gave that slot to Cinder and got after Watts for not contributing enough. He of course thought this was deeply unfair (especially after being made to contribute a lot to Cinder’s Beacon success without getting any credit for it.) And this just fueled his hatred of Cinder, his hatred of Pietro and Ironwood, and by extension, his hatred of Penny.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I would keep him freaking alive and keep up the pair up he had going on with Cinder and Neo! But also I’d increase his relationships with Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Hazel... Just some more Salem’s Inner Circle moments to flesh out their characters. Other than that, I wouldn’t change much. He’s a pretty good character.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Okay, I’ve talked about his character allusion in a very long post awhile ago, but I’m not scrolling down that far to tag it. To sum it up... I hate his allusion. XD I loved the Sherlock Holmes books and read most of them, and I didn’t realize he was supposed to allude to John Watson until I read someone else’s post saying so, and I started freaking out about how awful it was. Watts has so little in common with Watson, he’s essentially the anti-Watson. Which basically means he’s Sherlock Holmes, the opposite of Watson in almost every way, up to and including freaking faking his death which is one of the most iconic Sherlock Holmes thing ever. Watts is everything Sherlock Holmes is on his worst days, arrogant, callous, consumed with his projects, petty, smug, over the top - as well as being hyper intelligent and a genius who often just gets passed over. He has rivalries with his colleagues like Holmes did. And like I said, he faked his death, only to reveal himself to an old friend later on the cusp of carrying out a scheme. He’s evil Holmes! He has nothing to do with John Watson - caring, humble, down to earth, not brilliant like his friend but content to be ordinary and special because of his emotional depth and devoted heart, medical former doctor who spends quite a lot of time chronicling the successes of someone else because he’s content to live in the background. Don’t get me wrong, a ‘Watson’ character who is evil could work - Watson himself indulged in crime for the sake of Holmes sometimes in the original works and if he worshipped Salem or one of her followers and did everything for her while still being a more humble, more friendly, not brilliant person he could be good - but Watts is not that person. Even the gimmicks Watts is given are stupid and don’t make it obvious he’s Watson. Boy’s got a moustache and a revolver and they thought that’d be enough. Idk why they thought 'we’ll make him Watson’ when he’s clearly a Holmes! Also, he’s supposed to be ‘Watson if he’d met Moriarty instead of Holmes,’ and to that I say boo! Watson wouldn’t turn into a super genius just because he meets a different mastermind!

...That’s summing up my feelings, yeah. Because I have so many feelings about his warped, weird character allusion. If I was changing it, I’d just make him Holmes like I think he was clearly supposed to be.

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florbelles · 4 years

Note

All odd NSFW asks for my beloved cult daughter-in law! I promise this won't make it back to the Resistance. 🐍💕

here we are, lovely. evens answered here with all the freak stuff.

nsfw. tw lyra-typical content.

note that i’ve used “husband” where both john & wes are applicable, names where it’s specific to one (1) of the ferretbrooks men

01. when did they lose their virginity?

in the conscious “i am going to fuck” sense, she was 14; it was the son of one of the summer families on the island, he was older and smuggled whiskey and cigarettes out to the beach for her. arguably it was a bit earlier than that, depending on how hard you want to drive the definition; she’d messed around a bit with past friends & roommates at school, but nothing serious.

the boy never knew, for what that’s worth; she didn’t lie, he simply didn’t ask, and that’s how she preferred it.

03. what is the weirdest place they’ve had sex?

by whose definition?

lyra generally has more abnormality in circumstance than physical location ( her judge chambers, john’s confession room, the altar in the compound church, that time she got railed against a tree to the screams of sinners roasting on a pyre ) but to her they’re all simply tuesday.

having said that, if there’s a place sex is physically a viable option, she’s probably fucked there tbh

05. are they dominant, submissive, or switch?

switch. with men, historically, she was more likely to be dominant, but given that the vast majority of them were strangers she met along the road and/or targets of a conjob or murder, that was more about maintaining control & a protective measure than any personal preference ( much like leaving her shoes on; john is the first person she fucks barefoot in the entirety of her life ). there’s a reason lust isn’t one of her sins despite her expansive experience; for most of her life, sex was a weapon, a tool, or an outlet for her to self-medicate, not a driving force for its own sake.

having established that, she enjoys going both ways; with john it’s very much either/or because they both tip more towards the bossy bottom bitch end of the spectrum but Also enjoy absolutely railing their bossy bottom bitch partner, so it works well for them. wes is more likely to top despite being a switchlord himself because he generously indulges her ( their ) secret inner simp(s).

she inherently lets women get away with more, so she’s more likely to sub with them, but she doesn’t mind domming/topping. much like positions, she prefers variety; she wouldn’t want to be one or the other all the time.

07. would they be more likely to do it in the bed, on the couch, on the floor, or somewhere else?

lyra will fuck on literally any surface available; her blood runs hot and so do her impulses, so wherever the urge strikes ( as it often does ). statistically speaking, she probably has more sex in bed than any other single location purely out of convenience; it’s where they are in the morning and it’s where they end up at night. a close second would be the shower, but there’s not a place in the ranch that hasn’t been desecrated ( rip to the cleaners and to shaggy specifically ). having said that, other highlights include against trees, in the dirt, on bearskin rugs, on the cement floors of the bunker, on tables and desks, that poor couch, yeah, the plane, the plane got desecrated, what about it,

09. have they ever been caught masturbating?

sure, especially in boarding school, where she invariably had roommates. it’s not a major life event, though.

11. how often do they have sex?

she ain’t just soaking in that tub every day for the fun of it honey

lyra being very much Like That, it’s usually every day, multiple times a day. in canon that’s partly because she and john don’t really have long enough to move past the stage of physical obsession with each other ( though how much they really would have progressed in that department is debatable because they are Them ).

that’s just with john, so imagine how much worse it is in ferretbrooks verse where there’s Two Husbands, oh god there’s gonna be a prolapse situation

all jests aside, physicality is the way lyra is best at expressing love and intimacy, so she seeks it out wherever and whenever she can. she loves the permanent pleasant soreness between her thighs and in her muscles because it's a reminder of what she has; the ache of its absence later is excruciating.

13. do they like giving oral?

she loves it ( in all forms ). lyra’s extremely mouthy in all aspects. going down on her partners is one of her preferred forms of sex and is also her biggest unhorrific turn-on; she’s highly voyeuristic and loves watching them, hearing them, tasting them, feeling the muscles in their thighs twitch, cleaning them with her mouth post-coitus.

15. what is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to them during sex?

the mortifying ordeal of openly weeping during sex because you love your husband so much. also the mortifying ordeal of loving your husband so much.

17. what is a song they’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

here

lyra would much prefer to hear herself and her partner; she never intentionally puts music on during sex.

19. would they prefer sex in the tub or sex in the shower?

she’s more likely to have sex in the shower simply both out of efficiency and the greater position range ( her preferred shower sex position is with her leg over her partner’s shoulder ) in addition to weeping potential but she enjoys both; she’s more likely to engaging heavy petting/making out in the bath and fucking After, though.

21. have they ever had a threesome? if not, would they?

lyra has both thrown and attended her share of orgies in her day, so yes, absolutely. perhaps more pertinently she’s in polyamorous marriages across the multiverse ( because of her history with her father and who she is as a person, infidelity/lying/betraying a partner is something she’s physically incapable of doing; poly/open relationships or orgies are the only circumstances where multiple partners are possible for her ). special mention goes to shaggy who, while never having any form of sexual or romantic contact with either of them, is john & lyra’s long-suffering third ( and fairbrooks’ long-suffering fourth ).

23. have they ever given someone a dirty text/letter/picture?

please refer to the bit about her exhibitionist tendencies from installment i.

in all seriousness, she’s more likely to give her partners an actual physical photo of herself or a a handwritten, perfumed, lipstick-printed note ( no, she does not ordinarily wear lipstick, yes, she put on lipstick for that specifically, why do you ask ) that’s some convoluted but poetic variation of “hurry home so i can suck you dry xx” than she is to text anything. ( with her darling dear deputy wes she’s also quite fond of erotic radio broadcasts, though those are usually vaguely threatening in nature and sexy to absolutely no one but herself and their unfortunate recipient. what do you mean describing the way she’s going to crucify his friends along the main road isn’t romantic? ) she also abuses the radios with john, but those calls are simply to conspire trysts, not engage in verbal foreplay ( yes, they’re married and live together, what about it? ).

25. is there anything they do after sex? (ex: smoke, eat, drink, cuddle)

lyra’s sleeping/clinging habits have been described extensively in the past ( in that she’s invariably completely twined and tangled with her partner in a confusion of limbs, usually facing them, usually nuzzling their neck ), and those are more or less applicable here regardless of whether or not she’s actually going to sleep; she likes the hold her partner and watch them, stroke their hair/beard/face/back. she’s a nudger, she expresses post-coital fondness nose-first. if sleep isn’t imminent and she has cigarettes on hand ( she usually does ) she’ll light up, but that’s less a post-sex ritual and more her permanent state of being.

this is all only applicable with her husband/spouse(s), though; with casual encounters she’s a hit and run.

27. do they prefer morning sex or night sex?

both, but secretly she prefers mornings; that’s when she’s at her most affectionate. she makes love in the morning, still too comfortably sleepy to pretend to be anything but deliriously happy and desperately in love, and she’s all heavy lids and upturned lips she kisses swollen and slow rocking hips; the point isn’t to get each other off as it is to be together and have that intimacy & closeness. lyra’s always going to be most comfortable expressing her love with her body, it’s why she’s so deeply physical. it’s also the real reason john actually drags his beauty sleep requiring bitch ass out of bed to watch the sunrise with her every morning.

29. what is their favourite body part on the same sex?

the whole ass woman.

#good MORNING #oc: lyra fairbanks #nsft #answered #risenlucifer

17 notes · View notes

petork · 3 years

Note

-105 please

NB i am told this was meant to say 1-50

thanks queen <3 here we go

1. Who is your favourite ghost?

lately? it's been kitty. and i'm contractually obligated to love the captain

2. If you could see the ghosts like Alison, which one do you think would come the closest to making you want to leave the house?

the obvious answer is julian but probably actually robin, i HATE being spooked (as the asker can attest xx)

3. How would you feel if you couldn’t see the ghosts, but knew they were there, like Mike?

i'd feel mad jealous even though i'd actually have it pretty good. the other person would be trying so hard to tell me how much it sucks and i'd just be like 'but... goast.....'

4. Would you want to see ghosts like Alison, or would you rather be ignorant to their goings and doings?

again my immediate answer is I WANNA SEE THEM but i also know that might suck in many ways. at least for a while. i am not a patient person so i don't know if i could learn to live with them like alison could. but on the other hand... the chance to actually talk to people from the fucking actual past... thinking emoji!

5. If you were a ghost living in the house, would you rather be upstairs with the main nine ghosts, or downstairs with the plague ghosts?

upstairs for sure, sorry to the plague ghosts but i do not want to hang out in a basement for eternity

6. If you were someone who died in the house would you rather be “sucked off” immediately, or would you like to hang around a bit and get to know some of the other ghosts before getting “sucked off”?

i would probably just end up staying forever because i'm scared of the void of death.... <3

7. Which ghost would you miss the most if they were “sucked off” in the next series?

UNBELIEVABLE question? i'd miss ALL OF THEM. but see question 1 also

8. Which ghost do you think you’d get along with the best?

it's hard to say. i think they would all get on my nerves because as said i am not very patient. but the one who would irritate me LEAST... maybe pat?

9. Which ghost would you say you’re most like?

captain. not to be a cliche but i'm gay and repressed. and also irritable and grumpy

10. Which ghost would you say you’re least like?

JULIAN

11. What is a (popular or not) fan theory that you love?

(pasted from prev answer) i don’t actually like ship it because he’s definitely older than her, but a couple of people have said kitty sometimes acts like she has a crush on thomas. which is cute to me even if she does need to get better taste (love u kitty xxx)

12. What is a (popular or not) fan theory that you don’t quite agree with?

(pasted from prev answer) not so much a specific theory but i disagree with the general idea that anything of consequence went on with the captain and havers. i think it was meant to come across as just a snippet of the captain’s poor sad gay life and, as several brain geniuses have pointed out, due to the timing of germany invading france + the captain’s medals the flashback must have been from a good few years BEFORE he died. and i think the flashback was the last time they ever saw each other, so i don’t think that a) havers has any link to the captain’s eventual death or 2) anything romantic ever happened between them

13. Favourite ship and why?

captain x my cute oc boyfriend because i've tailored it to my exact needs. why ship retail when you can ship bespoke?

14. Least favourite ship and why? (Please be nice though!)

patcap as we all know. like YES i'm a contrary bitch so i don't like things that are popular and i do think i'm better than everyone else... but really idk why exactly i just don't gel with it at all. and when i've tried to read fic in the past it feels to me like their characters are kind of flattened. and i think the captain is too much of a bitch. and i think pat is serving us normie heterosexual. it's the 'cinnamon roll' ship of this fandom and i can't STAND (metaphorical) cinnamon rolls. AND ALSO pat is not the simple soft dad cinnamon roll fandom often makes him out to be! like he is a very nice person but he's also fucked up and insane like all of them. anyway my brain charges extremely low rents

15. If you could go back in time and live in the house/on the property at the same time as one of the ghosts when they were alive, who would you pick?

captain. need to know wtf's going on with him

16. Would you rather inherit the house (and its ghostly inhabitants), or just visit?

realistically... visit. i think i would lose my mind eventually if i lived there

17. Do you think we’ll ever know how every ghost died? Do you think there will be anyone whose death we’ll never learn about?

i hope we do, but i also appreciate that isn't the sole point of the series, otherwise it would be kinda boring and discovering how they died wouldn't be as impactful. if there's anyone's death we don't find out about, i think it would probably be robin? lol what if it was so long ago he just forgot

18. What is your favourite Ghosts fanfiction?

so i'm stupid and i never use bookmarks on ao3..... i've read a LOT of different fics i like but do you think i can revisit them? no! because i'm stupid! so i cannot fairly pick an absolute fave sorry

19. What is your favourite Ghosts fan art?

THIS <3

all the babies and children on here talk about horrible histories the show being 'their childhood'........ put some respect on terry deary's name. and this artist did!

20. Tag 5 favourite Ghosts fandom content creators!

honestly i'm not good with like. knowing people. but here are 5 fanfics i've enjoyed (based on the author's replies in my inbox because, again, i am too stupid to use bookmarks)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287567

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29868645

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653192

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28067277/chapters/68761830

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957662/chapters/65795407

21. Are there any historical periods you wish we’d have gotten to see a ghost/ghosts from but didn’t?

(pasted from other post) not to be predictable but i would have liked to see a 1960s ghost. like a mod who crashed his scooter or something. we have enough 20th century ghosts though but i believe the us remake has some kind of hippie ghost…

22. What is something you’re hoping to see in a future series?

flashback to the captain getting some. like implied or whatever. i can't cope with him dying a virgin. he needs this

23. What is something you’re hoping to see in a future series, but know we probably WON’T get to see?

(pasted from other post) alison meets someone else who can see ghosts, and we get to see the ghosts at THEIR house…. i always love it when we see extra ghosts but i know they probably won’t make any recurring because it would come off as running out of ideas. but i still think they should add a 90s teenager named roy

24. Which lesser-seen characters would you like to see more of in future series?

tbh there's none i can think of that i think we should SEE more of, they get a pretty good balance. there are some i definitely want to learn more about though

25. Are there any characters you wish we’d see less?

don't make me pick a least favourite child </3 but also i think thomas could probably tone it down a bit.

26. Favourite one-liner?

I'LL WAIT FOR YOU, MY COMELY NUG - me whenever i order chicken nuggets on just eat

27. Favourite episode?

DON'T EVEN... i like 2x06 and 3x05 a lot

28. Top 5 headcanons for [insert character name here]?

i'm going to do the captain because obviously i am

- he may or may not have been lavender married

- he may or may not have had a drinking problem

- public schoolboy with domineering father, clearly

- IF he had a lavender wife then she spent all her time in the company of her 'odd' female friend who wore men's clothes, smoked cigars and drove a motorbike. the captain was obviously clueless

that's 4 so a cheeky one for fanny:

- she did a lot of medicinal coke

29. Whose costume is your favourite?

kitty. gotta love an ott ballgown

30. Whose costume is your least favourite?

that's an offtopic question. you have been stopped.

31. If you could do a complete redesign of one of the ghosts’ costumes, whose would you change and how?

i would give thomas his double denim

32. If you could play any of the existing ghosts, which one would you want to play and why?

i think i'd be good at playing mary. meek weird girl who says things that don't make any sense? omg she is LITERALLY me

33. Which ghost would you least like to play and why?

julian, i'm not getting my pussy out

34. What one thing would you miss most if you became a ghost and had to live by the same rules as the Button House ghosts?

FOOD. food. eating and food.

35. How do you think one or more of the ghosts whose deaths we haven’t seen died? Or, if we know the cause of death but not the reason for the death (like Mary being burned as a witch or Humphrey being beheaded), why do you think they were killed?

i think mary's execution might have had something to do with her husband's death and her being unfairly accused or something. also like, she just acts kinda weird, and we know how that often played out for women back then...

and i think the captain died in some really boring mundane natural causes way (congenital heart attack or something) but he's stuck around because a) he's never come to terms with the whole h*mo thing and 2) he was just really mad that he died so boringly

36. Favourite [insert character name here] moment?

CAPTAIN GETTING KITTY TO SMILE

37. What do you think [insert character name here] was like when they were alive? Do you think they were exactly the same as they are now, or do you think there were any major or minor differences?

ok i'll do fanny for this one. i think she was less domineering when she was alive, in death she clearly thinks of herself as above the other ghosts and bosses them around, and when she talks shit about george it's not like he can get back at her in any way. but it would be interesting to see how they interacted when both were alive

38. It’s your turn to pick a movie for film club! What are you watching?

(from prev post) i haven’t seen any movies errr….. maybe austin powers because it’s so sad that julian died just a few years before it came out because he would love it and get really annoying about quoting it all the time and it would be really funny for the captain (who thought the movie was unironic) to have to deal with that. and fanny would NOT COPE.

39. Would you rather share a room with Thomas (constantly sighing and reciting bad poetry) or Fanny (falls out of the window screaming every night)?

fanny. men be quiet challenge

40. If you could do some kind of historical swap (i.e. place a ghost in a different period from their own), who would you choose and what period are they from now?

i would like to give kitty the chance to be a 20th or 21st century girl. maybe an era like the 60s or 80s that was known for daring fashions, i think she would luv it

41. Let’s settle this once and for all. Who’s the real leader, the Captain or Pat?

fanny

42. If the ghosts could eat, what is one food you would like to share with them that they might not have tried before?

doritos tangy cheese, mountain dew baja blast, 4loko. i would make thomas try a jalapeno. i would also make them try my cooking experiments because i do that to anyone i live with

43. You’ve heard rumours of a tenth upstairs ghost who doesn’t often venture out of their room to visit with the other residents of the house. Who are they? (i.e. make up a ghost OC. I know i’m putting you on the spot. I just want to see what you come up with.)

it's george button and his bitch ass is too scared of his wife to come down. his downfall comes when he finds out there's another gay ghost and simply has to clap them cheeks (he fails)

44. Tell me a song you think [insert character name here] would like, or a song that reminds you of them!

i think alison's probably already introduced him to them but thomas + anything by the smiths. i would also make the captain sit quietly and listen to a tracy chapman cd (for my lover...)

45. What song(s) do you think would annoy certain ghosts the most?

the smiths would annoy everyone except thomas. literally they'd all be trying to re-kill him

46. Who is one actor you’d love to see guest star? What kind of character would you like to see them play?

steve coogan as like. anyone. preferably a ghost. a roman centurion ghost if you wanna get cultural. but seriously i just want alan

47. If you could have one Horrible Histories song in Ghosts (either sung by a ghost/ghosts, or playing on the TV or computer for them to watch), which one would you want it to be and why?

that song about how no 'british' stuff is actually british. like tea. i want julian to melt down

48. What do you think the ghosts’ jobs would be in a modern living-human AU where they’re all just chaotic housemates?

captain & kitty: have their own wedding planning company

julian: still a politician but instead of an mp he's like a parish councillor. handforth antics

fanny: headteacher

robin: cool off the shits teacher at same school who undermines fanny wherever possible. deals weed to students

mary: runs a shop selling like healing crystals and incense and dreamcatchers

humphrey: customer service supervisor who actually likes his job because he takes no shit and just fucks with every single customer

thomas: unemployed podcaster

pat: dogwalker

49. What is one modern invention you think [insert character name here] would be surprised or confused by?

fanny would be so baffled by any Feminine Products. when she discovers tampons it's all she can talk about for a week. the mooncup made her go into a coma

50. Name an AU you haven’t seen someone create content for, but which you’d love to read a fic or see some art for.

not to be the way i am but i'd love if anyone ever drew art or something about my au which is a modern-day au where fanny and captain are alison and kitty's divorced parents, julian and robin are captain's brothers and alison's wack uncles, mary is their childhood nanny, thomas is a student lodger at button house, humphrey is a cat and pat is just some guy. but yeah in the past i've had a couple of anons on here mention it and i did melt into a puddle... i think if someone did art i'd explode and die. in a good way like

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xbaebsae · 4 years

Text

OTP Questions

Tagged by @f0xyboxes , @dieguzguz, @nightwingshero, @deputyrhiannonhale and @returnofthepd3 thanks for thinking of me sweethearts♥

(art by minilev)

Rheese Bennett & Jacob Seed (idk if anyone even reads these except me but under cut because long post)

DISAGREEMENTS

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Jacob. Now don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t loose his cool all that easy but Rheese can be a pain sometimes and he lacks the patience.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Neither of them.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? This is actually what Rheese does when they break up about three months before the game. He finally is too deluded by Joseph’s demands of him that she cannot get through to him anymore and keep him from hurting people. They have a pretty bad fight about him torturing people that ends with him actually slapping her with the intention of making her shut up because she wouldn’t stop arguing against him. She gives him one moment to apologize for that, but he doesn’t so she leaves :’)

Who trashes the house? They frequently throw things at each other.

Do either of them get physical? Depends on when. Jacob pushes her around sometimes or touches her pretty roughly when he suffers from the effects of his PTSD. No domestic violence though. They also land real blows in training fights, same level bad on both sides really.

It’s worse during the arrest when they aren’t together anymore. Jacob was pretty devastated when he realized she actually left for good (he interpreted ‘i am leaving’ as her going home). It resulted in a lot of self blame (justified) which his family couldn’t really deal with. Joseph convinced him in the end that she was just another test he had to overcome in his life to find his correct path. So, he pretty much behaves just like he does in-game. She doesn’t get special treatment, she gets starved and thrown into murder trials like everyone else.

How often do they argue/disagree? Pretty often. In the beginning it’s all they do, until they realize that having normal conversations every once in a while isn’t so bad actually.

Who is the first to apologize? Apologies are for the weak :)

SEX

Who is on top? Jacob

Who is on the bottom? Rheese (though she won’t admit it if you asked her)

Who has the strangest desires? It’s nothing very strange tbh (at least not by my definition of strange... god i’ve seen ... things on deviantart. Definetly none of that!)

Any kinks? Yeah, the perfect combo of wanting to feel powerless and wanting to feel in control. It complies with their character really. Rheese was forced to take care of herself ever since her teen years, which developed her into a pretty tough person. She likes the control she has over her life, and doesn’t let herself be pushed around by anyone. Feeling stripped of that control is however really exciting for her. Jacob’s kinda the other way around (imo anyway) in that he’s constantly following orders nevermind when or where, even within his own family (to not disappoint Joseph).

Who’s dominant in bed? Jacob, Rheese only if he forces her to be :)

Is head ever in the equation? Yes

If so, who is better at performing it? Rheese. Slightly unfair though because she’s simply worse on the receiving end.

Ever had sex in public? Yeah, much to her dismay.

Who moans the most? Rheese

Who leaves the most marks? Both do in different ways.

Who is the more experienced of the two? Jacob

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Even the nastiest sex is ‘making love’ to them really. It’s frankly a form of talking to them because they both truly suck at verbal communication. Also, Rheese has the old fashioned rule in her life that she won’t sleep with people she isn’t sure about, so before actually being together they don’t have sex. Tho she’s close to breaking that rule multiple times.

Rough or soft? Rough, sometimes foreplay is soft.

How long do they usually last? Depends on time and mood. Also Rheese is a lot younger so she sometimes could go again when he can’t. However that doesn’t mean he gets the best of her sometimes :’)

Is protection used? Yes on her side

Does it ever get boring? No

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Some small cabin at the place they train Judges. It was kinky, they got caught and she prefers to just not talk about it ever again.

FAMILY

Do they plan on having children/or have children? No, they never wanted to. Their daughter Jaina was an unwanted accident.

If so, how many children do they want/have? They have 1 and that’s already more than they wanted.

AFFECTION

Who likes to cuddle? Rheese

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Jacob usually. But sometimes she’s good at it as well.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Jacob, and it bothers her a lot in public. He doesn’t really care about what his people think of him, he knows he’s the boss so they can’t say shit. It’s also a way of just showing off that she belongs to him and that’s exactly why she doesn’t like it, cause she ain’t property. Also, people might believe she only became a Chosen trainer because she fucks the boss, which isn’t true because she got that position from someone other than Jake, based entirely on her performance.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Until Rheese falls into deep sleep and starts spreading her limbs everywhere uncontrolably.

Who gives the most kisses? Jacob

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Honestly, just existing next to each other is enough. They are just as happy just sitting in the same room, doing their own tasks, as they are going out for a fishing trip (actually she hates fishing, but the lakes are nice).

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? The bed

How often do they get time to themselves? Usually evenings and nights. They would have more time together if Rheese didn’t value her alone time. Sometimes she prefers to spend her days off alone, going on a ride through the forests or just relaxing without anybody around. He doesn’t quite approve of that but she doesn’t let herself be locked up.

SLEEPING

Who snores? None of them

If both do, who snores the loudest? Nobody

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share a bed when living together.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Usually fall asleep cuddling but where they end up is entirely up to chance.

What do they wear to bed? Underwear usually. Though t-shirts along with that in the beginning.

Are either of them insomniacs? Jake has trouble sleeping and often wakes up. Her presence helps him but she’s not a magic sleeping pill so the issue never fully disappears.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Nah

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Usually the first, when it’s too hot the latter.

Who wakes up with bed hair? Both. Rheese loves his messy hair, especially after she bullied him enough into letting it grow a bit. He however calls her hay-head, because her hair gets all tangled up and poofy despite being tied into a braid.

Who wakes up first? He does, good luck getting her outta bed before 10.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Nobody does, they aren’t romantic.

What is their favourite sleeping position? Rheese digging her face in the space between his neck and shoulders while one leg and one arm hugs him and he has an arm around her.

Do they set an alarm each night? When there’s work the next day.

Can a television be found in their bedroom? No, though she sometimes uses his laptop to watch movies.

Who has nightmares? Jacob has real ones, Rheese only the occasional bad dream we all get sometimes.

Who has ridiculous dreams? She dreams demented shit sometimes, never talks about it though.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Rheese, she’s a restless sleeper. Got kicked out of the bed for it more than once.

Who makes the bed? Neither of them. They don’t care about it being untidy.

What time is bed time? Depends. Usually Rheese stays awake longer to finish watching movies.

Any routines/rituals before bed? Nothing special, sometimes talking, sometimes a movie, sometimes sex, sometimes just hugging in silence.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Jake, esp when she talks too much in the morning.

WORK

Who is the busiest? They both are pretty equally busy.

Who rakes in the highest income? It doesn’t really matter to them. The cult pays food and since they don’t care much about materialism, they don’t need much money.

Are any of them unemployed? They have their job in the cult. Rheese works as a deputy before and after her stay there. so no.

Who takes the most sick days? Neither really take any unless they are really so sick they can’t move. It’s an unhealthy work ethic but they feel useless when just lying in bed all day.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Jake didn’t before, but he sometimes does because of her in the morning. Not that he really minds though, who’s gonna say anything against him?

Who sucks up to their boss? Jacob in regards to Joseph, which Rheese thinks is very unhealthy. She doesn’t like how he lets himself be used so much and mostly blindly follows whatever his brother says. They have a lot of arguments about this and in the end it’s what ruins their relationship.

What are their jobs? He’s head of security at Eden’s Gate. She’s a deputy, then pseudo joins the cult and works herself up to become a trainer of the Chosen, then she returns to her deputy position for the arrest.

Who stresses the most? He does

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Police work wasn’t her passion. It was just a career she thought wouldn’t be boring. No noble motives and such. She only reprises her role as the deputy for the arrest because she falsely blames herself for everyone who’s been hurt by Jake’s hands after she left him. Her return is based on her trying to redeem herself. She had fun training Chosen, but she wouldn’t want to be part of any torture cult.

Jacob barely has any opinion on his work. He believes what he does is what needs to be done and he’s the best suited person for the job. You won’t find him complain, though he secretly just wants peace in his life. He hopes the cult’s actions will ultimately lead to that.

Are they financially stable? They have enough.

HOME

Who does the washing? Neither until one of them is fed up with the pile in the sink or the lack of clean plates in the shelf.

Who takes out the trash? Usually Rheese is bothered by it first.

Who does the ironing? They don’t

Who does the cooking? She makes good pancakes. But other than that? Don’t allow her in the kitchen because she can’t cook for shit. He can cook a couple of things but is often simply too lazy to ‘play housewife’ so their dinners often consist of very simplistic things. Occasionally one of them will bring home takeout.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Rheese, just...keep her out of the kitchen.

Who is messier? Both pretty much. His place is a mess and she isn’t bothered by it because her apartment looked the same.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Jake, to annoy her.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? They both just throw them wherever.

Who forgets to flush the toilet? Jake, again to annoy her. (her ‘ewww you’re fucking nasty’ face is really entertaining)

Who is the prankster around the house? Neither, they diss each other a lot, sometimes joke on the other’s cost but no deliberate pranks.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Doesn’t really happen.

Who mows the lawn? No lawn

Who answers the telephone? They answer their own cells respectively. He refuses to get a smartphone.

Who does the vacuuming? They don’t own a vacuum cleaner. Only a broom and a mop.

Who does the groceries? Usually he does.

Who takes the longest to shower? Rheese, she enjoys the feel of hot water on her skin.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Not much difference there. Rheese doesn’t bother anymore with any routines and such after Jake told her he hates when she wears makeup because it makes his hands sticky when he touches her face :’) Though sometimes she will still put eyeliner out of habit.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? No, they don’t need much.

How many cars do they own? Jake own an old truck and a motorcycle, Rheese used to have a car but sold it. She prefers riding on her horse Nugget anyway.

Do they own their home or do they rent? She had an apartment in Missoula before ‘joining’. Then she lived at Stone Ridge for a while, then she moved in with him to his place. A tiny cabin far up a mountain at the far outside of the region.

Do they live in the city or in the country? Country

Do they enjoy their surroundings? Yes, especially the forests.

What’s their song? You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Working, doing their own thing, living. He’s more possessive about her than she is about it. But they both function normally when not being together.

Where did they first meet? Technically at the church during her very first sermon to ‘join’ the project. But they only interacted about a week later when he’s supposed to bring her to her initiation at John’s place. They immediately hate each other :’)

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Whoever does the grocery shopping? They both aren’t big on other shopping trips.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? She’s not very show off-y. Jacob likes showing she ‘belongs to him’.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Both

Any mental issues? Rheese doesn’t really, she lost her parents and her family is extremely distant but it never gave her trauma.

Jacob still deals with the aftermath of war esp. His PTSD gets bad sometimes and he has sleeping issues.

Who’s terrified of bugs? She is afraid of spiders, and would appreciate if he killed them when they are in the house. But usually he ends up throwing them at her and tells her it’s therapy to defeat her fears.

Who kills the spiders around the house? Neither, see above

Their favourite place? A small lake behind a mountain near his cabin.

Who pays the bills? The cult

Do they have any fears for their future? Yeah, they are very conflicted about it. Neither of them know where it all leads and their differences (esp the age one) is an issue at times.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? They don’t really do that.

Who’s the tallest? He’s 6'1, she is 5'2. He constantly calls her ‘Shorty’, not in any endearing cute nickname way, but purely to mock her height.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Happens with both of them frequently. Tho Jacob is more prone to this because he showers less on his own. So when she’s in there he’s often like ‘might as well join’.

Who wanders around in their underwear? Rheese starts this trend which he really doesn’t complain about. She also argues that it makes sense because then there will be less laundry to take care of. Can’t really argue with that really.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? She does, very very badly cause she can’t sing.

What do they tease each other about? Her short height and his age. Always.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Doesn’t really happen but he does judge her Power Rangers T-shirt she wears for sleeping.

Who crushed first? They both kinda did. They blamed it on physical attraction at first, which made Rheese mad because he wasn’t her type. It takes them a couple of months to actually admit they might eventually possibly perhaps maybe have feelings for one another :)

Any alcohol or substance related problems? Not really

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Rheese does once, and another time they do it together.

Who swears the most? Jacob, though she’s pretty good at it too.

Tagging @joeyhxdson @fadedjacket @shallow-gravy @chazz-anova @ja-crispea if you want to. Idk who did this by the time this gets posted.

#tag games #deputy rheese anne bennett #sched

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