05.05.23 || and if anyone ever finds this diary, and reads it, and comes to the conclusion that i'm crazy? they'd be spot on.

Hi there!

I just wanted to let you know that I'd never heard of Saya no Uta until I saw you talking about it on my dash and I was like hey I'll look into that!! I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and it was definitely an experience. I've only played the route of choosing Saya and choosing to call Ryoko, so I still have to make the other choices to view all of the game's content, but I just wanted to come say thank you for giving me the second controversial piece of media I've been able to consume without my ocd throwing a bitchfit, because the whole story is fascinating from a psychological standpoint and that definitely drew me in.

I just wish the story was a little more 3D, I guess? Like the writing is overly descriptive of things it doesn't need to be descriptive of and underwhelming with the actual voiced dialogue. It's an extremely bizarre contrast. And from what little Japanese I've learn over the years out of SpInterest there are some translation points that aren't entirely accurate.

A big one is the fact that Saya speaks in third person which is a common cutesy mannerism for small children in Japanese media. In fact, she speaks super similarly to Maria Ushiromiya from Umineko ( complete with using 'uu!' for emphasis too ) which caused me to attach quickly to her for it. While it's true that this doesn't translate well into English, it does lose in translation just how young Saya really sounds while speaking. Because in Japanese she's saying things like 'Saya did this for Fuminori because Saya wants to be with Fuminori forever!' and it's getting translated as like 'I did this to make you happy. So you'll stay with me forever, right, Fuminori?' and those are two completely different tones. In fact, it's so overlooked from the English translation that this trope of hers isn't even mentioned on the The Song of Saya tvtropes page and that's wild to me.

Sorry, I didn't meant to turn this into a rant in your inbox asjklhd. Thank you for bringing this intriguing piece of media to my attention. 💖

Hiii, I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to this ask but it was lovely getting it, so please don't apologize! We love getting long asks, and talking about our interests <3 And I'm really happy me basically screaming into the void about it, got you into it! That's great, that's exactly why I post about the things I like.

This was very interesting to read so thank you for sending it.

Side Thought: TV Troupes actually really really sucks for this kinda thing, it is widely innacurate with big media, and incredibly lacking for small media. So personally, I would not chuck TV Tropes lacking this as much to the (very bad, like super bad) official translation, as much as I would to the site just kinda sucking.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, the website is fun, like any other wiki is, I just have personal beef against it, do not mind me, old man yells at cloud.

The first route I finished was also the one with Ryouko, and tbh, in my opinion that's the best one, but obviously seeing the other endings gives a lot of extra information, and character depth, so I hope you play through them and enjoy them too.

And yeah, I feel you, I wish it was more 3D and that I could have cared more about the characters, the writing definetly feels too much like purple prose, and way too descriptive about meaningless things sometimes, while also compeltley glazing over others.

Also big big same about the translation, I already posted my long rant about it, but it's really such a shame, because Nitro+ is actually so good at conveying character through dialogue, like actually reading some of the VNs in Japanese is a whole new experience on its own

And exactly as you said, it would have been far easier to understand Saya is a literally preubecent child if the translation had shown how childishly she actually speaks, or another big one, we would have gotten to see more of just how badly Fuminori wants to show off in front of Saya and Yoh, if the translation had actually shown him avoiding being fully honest with Saya.

Like there's so so many moments in Japanese of him just going, Well, about that, you know... to Saya when she's asking him about their plans together, and he's very reluctant to ask her for help, even when he really needs it, until she blatantly offers it, and he takes it.

In the Official English version he literally just goes "Well, the thing, Saya is that I failed to kill Koji, any ideas about that?"

So much character missed there, I feel like also missing the honorifics isn't helpful or good, like Yoh calling Oumi, Oumi-chan makes them feel way way closer, than just college friends who hang out between classes. And it gives you a better sense that they care for each other.

My hot take about translations is that they shouldn't just accomodate to what's most familiar to the target audience, in this case USA people, it should just make the media more accesible. It isn't a failure of art if it is a bit of a struggle to engage with it, it's good to make an effort to try to understand foreign art, even when the way the text is presented, isn't super familiar or relatable to you.

This is basically what everybody who isn't from an English speaking country already does lol

underneath the cut of this post will talk briefly about pet/animal d*ath along with mental health issues

there aren't any triggering details as far as i can tell but i would still scroll away if you think this may trigger you or make you sad or anything like that. <33 this post is really more of me sharing a few happy memories with y'all :)

also, this is not an april fool's thing. i know it is april 1st, but i promise i would never ever joke about something like this.

So, a month ago today (March 1st), I lost my best and closet friend. Yes, she was an animal, a cat to be more specific, but that doesn't change the fact that she was literally the most amazing friend anyone could ask for.

She has been with me since I was really little, she's a childhood pet. I always thought I'd never lose her and that somehow, someway, we'd always be together.

She was with me when I was diagnosed with my chronic pain condition. She was with me when I decided to cut my hair real short. She was with me when I realized I was LGBTQ+. She was with me when I went through various hardships. She listened to my rants and to my dream goals for life. She made me laugh and smile and made me feel happy when no one and nothing else could. And yes she would listen to me gush about my various fictional and celebrity crushes. I swear she'd look at the pictures I showed her of them, maybe she was also interested in them as well lmao.

And I was with her through her hardships, as well. My parents and I helped her through any illnesses she developed through the course of her life. We were there with her when she needed us most, especially toward the end, like she always had with us.

She'd sometimes watch TV with me. Not very intently, of course, but every now and then something on the screen would catch her interest. The snow from an ambiance video seemed to be her favorite cause she'd usually always watch them for a couple seconds before laying down. Any other ambiance video, she completely ignored lmao.

She had her own side of my bed. Really it was our bed, considering how often she was adamant we share (I didn't mind). If I'd get up from my side though and she was awake, she'd speed over to my spot and make herself comfy.

Insert her unrelenting stare as I'd lay in bed, quietly signalling she wanted to use me as a cat bed. I'd just be like "...dude what's up???" *silent pondering* "Yeah, okay, c'mon dude." It was never super comfy for me tbh because of my chronic pain but I'd literally do anything for her (and I still would ofc) so if she wanted to use me as a pillow, I would put up with the pain.

Wrecking havoc in my room at 3 in the morning seemed to be her favorite pastime while everyone else was asleep. But I know she'd do it just for attention because as soon as I'd say her name, she'd look at me and run over.

She wasn't just my cat though. She was apart of our family and treated and saw us as such. And she will always be apart of our family, no matter what.

I cannot hold back my tears as I write this. It hurts to write "was" instead of "is". It hurts to think she'll never live to see me achieve the things I only dreamed of. It physically hurts to realize we'll never physically be a duo anymore. I often still find myself leaving my door slightly open, like I would always do when she was here so that she could come and go as she pleases. Now, it's more of a habit, but I never want to get rid of it.

She was literally the most amazing being in the whole entire universe, and she still is in whatever afterlife she found herself in. My pretty kitty grew wings and I'm sure they make her look even more badass than she already was.

I am a shattered piece of myself than I used to be. But, I am working on building myself up again into this new person. And she'll always be with me, even though she's not here physically anymore.

thanks for taking the time to read this, it means a lot. im not looking for attention, if that's what it seems like. i just wanted to share her life the best i could while still keeping some anonymity. <33

Ep 14 Confessionals | "I Am So Girlbossing This Now" - Rose

After Owen's vote out, Rose was on the offensive. She wanted to separate herself from TJ and Shane because she perceived them as running the show and needing to be split up. Once Shane won immunity, this meant she would need to somewhat turn on her duo, Andry.

Before the vote, Bryan was announced to have been eliminated from Ghost Island. The players also began rapidly moving in the Haunted House after leaving it alone for rounds. Maybe someone was tipped off about potential powers that lie inside...

TJ was paranoid going into council, feeling like now would be the time for someone to move against him. His intuition turned out to be correct when Captain mysteriously played an idol someone may or may not have given him in secret, causing TJ to also play an idol. This meant that due to 5/6 votes being cancelled, Andry was sent home in a 0-0-1 split. This definitely leaves the game wide open... perfect time to bring someone back from Ghosts' Island!

WELL i hope yall had fun that council.. i mean i did. sobs for owen tho. he died for me </3

I yelled at Owen at council. It was exhilarating. I feel so good after voting him out because he tried to pull a fast one on us and tried to vote TJ. I'm lowkey embarrassed but then again not really because it was kinda fun? I wasn't't even all that mad, I just hope that Owen was really mad because he felt like I was being selfish, and therefore our alliance wasn't really an alliance if I'm just looking out for myself. And, I mean he's right to an extent. I am being selfish. I am only looking out for myself, but isn't that the game of survivor? Be mad at the game, not the player. This honestly is just the culmination of my plan working really well. He realized what TJ and I were doing way too late, and that's not my fault. Lowkey, doesn't even matter because we just switched who the plan is with. I wanted it to be Owen and Allison but since they felt like they didn't want to be "my chess pieces" (which I didn't see them as but whatever), Andry and Rose are the way to go. I know Rose is willing to turn on us , but we should be good for this vote at least. She won't want to go to rocks next vote I don't think, so I think we should be good for a couple votes. I hope that people don't take things personally and that we all just can understand that this is a game. I'm playing very aggressively, but I am damn proud of the way I am playing. I lowkey think this is one of the best games I have ever played in the way that I feel like I have been behind a lot of the decisions and pulling strings, as Owen and Allison said. This really is the War of the Duos, and I'm happy I chose the right side (for now) at least. I just gotta hope things go the way I hope for the next couple rounds.

Last night's council was a solid win for me tbh. I think Shane and Owen fighting really took the spotlight off the person who really orchestrated last night - which was me. The idea to split was my idea, a)bc I wanted to see fighting and b)in the event of an idol. I think now moving forward, I would like to see TJ go sooner than later because I think he does have a good case to win the game moving forward. I think Rose would be taken out before me (probably?). That's what people are telling me. Shane seems to trust me completely, which is great. On a personal level, he is great - I love chatting with him. On a game level, he has revealed all his cards to me. I am hoping that that works in my favour. I also made sure to tell Shane that Rose was originally gunning for TJ. I want Shane to feel drawn to me and by telling him that, I am hoping it builds trust and also puts a big target on Rose's back. Allison seems like super angry about the vote - which fair! I think though it's not the right approach if she wants to get further. But who knows... maybe I am not in a position to give out advice lol.

*

Also - one thing I have been doing all game is really trying to make myself seem dumber then I am. These include things like pretending to be surprised by good ideas, saying I would've never thought of that, really reminding people that I haven't made it to the end game in so long. I think it's important to keep that fresh in peoples minds.

*

Last night, I lost immunity - which wasn't the worst thing in the world. But then my alliance of Rose, Shane, TJ, and I tried to get the haunt to happen (which didn't sadly). I made it to the vault where I did the task and passed, and managed to get a 50/50 Idol Nullifier. I was on call with Shane when I got it, and I told him at first I hadn't gotten anything - but then later retracted my statemen because I knew he didn't believe me. Honestly, I would say that moment was probably the stupidest move I have made all season. It took away some trust that existed between Shane and I. I know TJ and Rose have the only two idols left in the game, so TBH I would like to use it against TJ at some point. It expires at F6 - and I have been operating under the assumption that someone will be coming back after this vote. Right now, our alliance plans to vote out Captain. I think he would win simply because he hasn't rocked the boat too much this season. Also, sending Allison would help Owen in his fight to get back into the game - which we really don't want!!!!!! Also, BRYAN GOT ELIMINATED THANK GOD!!!!!!! Now he definitely won't return to the game. I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN this game. Right now, I need to start pivoting my game to best set me up for the win. I think I would like to sit with Shane at the FSC (final spirit council). Now it's just a matter of deciding who I want to be other person. I hope people would like to sit against me - I think people might underestimate my game, but I know I have played a strong season.

shane won the necklace which is... good for him. cause i'd be gunning for him if he hadn't won. giggles. anyways, these people are really making things so clear rn. cause no one apart from rose and allison talks to me. and its clear that they're targeting me again. GO GET URSELF A NEW TARGET BABES. like, they'd rather choose the safe route than do something fun i guess. but at least, there's rose who's willing to do something fun. so rose, allison, and i are gonna split our votes: 2 on TJ and 1 on andry. and then rose is gonna give me her immunity idol and i play it on myself. and then TJ will hopefully play his immunity on himself and andry will go. and that's the plan. things could go wrong if they split between me and allison but they only have 3 so idk. but that might happen and i'll ask if there is the split plan or not. until now, we just hope that rose is honest and rlly wants to work with me and allison. or we just pray that i don't get played by anyone. fingers crossed.

Almost forgot to confess! This is by far the most nervous I’ve been walking into council. I want to believe that Rose and Andry know that keeping me makes sense this round but I can easily see them thinking that making the move on me gives them the best chance at the end… Logically, they need to keep me. Logically, I know they know keeping me is good. Irrationally, I think everyone is going to make stupid decisions one way or another. And thus, here I am, preparing myself to potentially see myself fall victim to sixth place once again and just have nothing to do about it. Could I play the idol? Absolutely. But I’m wrong, I waste such an amazing tool and show Rose and Andry I didn’t trust them. So it’s a bad play to use it even it would make me feel better. So I have to do the one thing I hate to do… trust people.

We are about to vote but I have a bad feeling for tonight................. something seems off