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#talk about mash moments that made me transgender
warp--space · 1 year
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What Comes Next
The 21 year old Rian Shepard, the perfect stranger that Toshinori knew better than anyone else, was so skittish that it could have broken his frozen heart.
It took a bit of talking around, but Nighteye was convinced to leave to secure a more suitable hideout. Soon after, Hinata was able to convince Lilly to go with her to take a shower.
And that left the two men to awkwardly hang around the sparse living room. All Might tried not to let his curious glances linger on Rian while the younger man, visibly uncomfortable, kept layers of threadbare cloth huddled around his form. Memories of said young man wearing far less clothing swirled around his mind, and he had to beat them back.
This is who I marry, huh? Well… I won't complain. But I'm skeptical about the circumstances.
After several long moments, the blonde sighed. "I don't mean to pry, but… is there anything I can do to make you calm down?" He paused, then looked away, rubbing his neck. "That was worded wrong… I'm not exactly used to this… but still. Is there anything I can get you?"
"...water."
The older man nodded, disappearing into the kitchen for a moment, then returning with a glass of water. He knelt in front of the brunette, almost hesitating as he measured his words, holding the glass out. "Don't drink too fast… you could get sick."
The young man regarded the glass carefully and he took hold of it, inspecting it, and then nodded. He scooted closer. Hesitating a moment, he sniffed it, then took slow and careful drinks. All Might couldn't help but feel relieved that his directions were being followed.
"...Thank you."
Progress…
All Might nodded. "Can you stand?" he asked, taking the empty glass back after Rian finished it. The young man seemed to think hard, then nodded. Giving the softest smile he could, the blonde offered his hand. "Come with me, then. I can warm up some food for you and your sister… my daughter ate while the anesthesia still had you out cold."
The small man shivered, then took the hand with the careful deliberation of someone who expected to be bitten. It made Toshinori want to kill every single person in that lab. The overwhelming desire to protect this person was... new. But purposeful, and not entirely unwelcome. Familiar. The villain guided him into a standing position, then carefully led him into the kitchen where he had the brunette sit at the table.
The blonde bruiser began warming up some mashed potatoes, letting the hum of the microwave fill the silence while he carefully chose his next words.
Might as well get this part over with.
"... Again, I don't mean to pry. But I find myself wanting to help you. So… you're transgender, right?" All Might could practically feel the icy glare he was receiving from the younger man, who kept his silence bitter. Sighing, he continued speaking. "I saw your file. Don't misunderstand me."
"... So what if I am?" He hissed, voice almost a whisper. After a beat, he continued, trembling like a leaf. "I had to sit there for years being referred to as a girl and being constantly degraded and threatened with assault. No offense, 'cause it's not like I'm ungrateful for you pulling me and my sister out of there, but you'll either call me 'Rian' and refer to me as a man… or I'll just have to annoy you until you put me out of my misery," the brunette said.
All Might considered the small scrap of humanity before him, then smirked. "Alright, Rian, if that's the case, then..." suddenly, the larger man paused, going quiet as the counter he leaned against made a dangerous creaking sound. "Wait... Did you just say assault?"
The young man stiffened. "It's nothing."
"I doubt it," All Might said bluntly, but not unkindly. Miraculously the microwave beeped, and he distracted his ferocious anger by stirring the mashed potatoes and adding butter. "But... I won't press the issue right now. You need to rest. And recover. You and your sister look like shit."
"Is... Is there somewhere... Somewhere we can stay?"
"Obviously. Weren't you listening to Nighteye and I speak earlier? You're staying with me where you'll be safe."
And happy, if I'm lucky.
Toshinori couldn't help but be shocked as the kid just... Burst into silent tears, staring down at his feet. For a moment the blonde thought that he'd said or done something wrong... Until he realized that the kid was relieved, not hurt or frightened.
How the hell am I going to pull this off without breaking his wounded little heart? I'm the most heartless bastard I know... But... I suppose I don't have to stay that way.
"... Does your sister know?"
"My sister hasn't seen me for nearly half of her life…" Rian practically whispered. "I have no idea what she knows."
"Then… I'll be glad to help. Respectfully. Obviously I'll be using the name and terms you prefer… but…" The young man gave him a confused look, and the blonde didn't bother to try to hide his blush as he slid a bowl of food towards him. "But… I can also help you get surgeries. Clothes. Hair dye. Anything you need, I can provide."
"...What's the catch?"
"None. Just…" All Might scowled, rubbing the back of his head. "...just get better. What happened to you wasn't right. That piece of shit and his lackeys only experimented on you because they want to be stronger than me, so I'm holding myself responsible…" he grumbled, heart sinking as he remembered that Rian never would have been there if he had also shown up at the bank those years ago. "And… you'd look less like shit if you could smile."
Silence.
Then laughter.
"Well…" Rian said, suppressing giggles as his face lit up Toshinori's suddenly shabby-looking kitchen. "I guess you aren't wrong… but don't blame yourself."
If only you knew.
"How about this…" the young man murmured, eating slowly as he talked. "You're the world's greatest villain, All Might… right?"
"Yes?"
"Then… I'll help you watch your daughter while you're out being a menace. I mean…" Rian shuddered. "I want to say I don't wanna impose… but the thought of going outside makes me feel sick. It might be better if I stay inside. Just until I can get used to people again."
"Of course… and on that note, you can take your time doing that. No one will dare to push you. I'll kick their asses if they try."
"I appreciate that," Rian said, smiling softly. "You know… you're a good dad, I think. Or at least you seem like it. You're a better person than I thought you might be, just looking at you."
Toshinori's face heated up, but before he could speak, a door down the hall slammed open.
"Ray!!!"
"Uhoh…" the young man murmured, shakily standing up. Toshinori had to fight to keep himself from physically supporting him, and instead he portioned off more mashed potatoes into a bowl. "Over here, sis! I'm in the kitchen with Hinata's father."
The blonde listened to the pitter patter of little feet running towards their location, and his heart felt oddly warm.
"RayRay the shower is so cool! It's a whole room by itself and there's this big-big tub!!! Like big for that guy! You need to go see it!"
Rian smiled, hesitating for a moment, before he went to his knees and hugged his little sister tightly. "... I missed you, kiddo. I'll go do that while you eat."
On cue, Toshinori put a small bowl down on the table for Lilly.
"Eat up while your brother showers, kid… then you all should definitely go to bed."
The kids were already pouting at him, but the blonde couldn't help but smile at Rian's back as the younger man shakily walked down the hall.
If the previous 'me's somehow managed to get through this first night without falling in love with him… it'll have been a miracle.
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hawkeye gender moments that make me insane
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elitegymnastics · 3 years
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Q: What is this?
A: It’s a flyer for a virtual fundraiser on June 4th that Elite Gymnastics is playing. You can access the show at quietyear.com
Q: Hasn’t Elite Gymnastics been inactive for like, ten years?
A: Yes. This is the first Elite Gymnastics performance of any kind since November 30th 2012, at the Horn Gallery at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. 
Q: Why did Elite Gymnastics stop playing shows?
A: Elite Gymnastics started out as me (Jaime) and a bunch of my friends agreeing to help me play my songs live back in 2009. I made a lot of weird demos in GarageBand and my friend Dominique Davis from the band Dearling Physique got tired of watching me sit on them. So, he booked me to play at a show he was curating as part of a small local music and arts festival called Clapperclaw. For several months that’s mainly what EG was. At some point the focus shifted to making recordings rather than playing shows, to participate in the emergent culture of new music distributed via MP3 file-sharing. The lineup winnowed to just me and Josh Clancy, who began creating digital EPs that we posted on this Tumblr page as ZIP files full of MP3s accompanied by a PDF of artwork. This is the incarnation of the group that most people are familiar with.
This was before Patreon existed. If Bandcamp was around, we’d never heard of it. Though MP3 file-sharing culture and file transfer sites like MediaFire and MegaUpload allowed anyone to distribute music freely across the world via the internet, it was still pretty difficult to get people to pay you for it. I think it was for this reason that a lot of internet music back then featured a lot of sampling. A lot of artists’ first forays into the world of DAWs and production took the form of mash-ups, bootleg remixes, and DJ mixes. Artists like Animal Collective, MIA, Kanye West, and Daft Punk for whom sampling was a pillar of their creative process were extremely influential. Elite Gymnastics was no exception - the first song of ours to gain traction online was “Is This On Me?” which made no attempt to hide the fact that it heavily sampled Faye Wong’s “Eyes On Me.” The fact that it was so difficult to make money off MP3s pushed people to make different creative decisions than they would have otherwise. It was sort of a free-for-all.
Eventually, all of this started to change. The major labels started getting a lot more aggressive about trying to destroy MP3 file-sharing culture. Platforms like MegaUpload were raided and taken offline. The replacements that sprung up to replace them were increasingly infested with ads and malware. Corporate platforms like YouTube and SoundCloud adopted Content ID filters to prevent the proliferation of copyrighted music there. Blogs and private torrent trackers being taken down meant thousands of hours of labor were wiped out in an instant. Some of the best archives of the history of recorded music ever created were destroyed without hesitation. Even the most devoted participants lost the will to keep repairing and re-making the stuff that cops and record companies kept obliterating.
Josh and I both dreamed of being able to make a living as musicians. We still do. Back then, we were willing to accept a lot of changes in order to make that possible, which seemed necessary. A lot of the stuff that we were great at just didn’t make any money. Once, we were asked to do a remix of a song called “Sa Sa Samoa” by the band Korallreven. I did the remix by myself, which was normal for us, and Josh was so inspired by it that he spent a week working non-stop to create a video for it. People loved it - the day the video dropped, Pitchfork designated the song as a “Best New Track” and New York Magazine wrote about it in their “Approval Matrix.” The video led to a ton of exposure, but from a financial perspective, it just did not make sense to put that much effort into promoting a remix of someone else’s song. The stuff we were personally excited by just seemed to have less and less to do with what actually makes money.
A lot of internet bands during this era began to palpably shapeshift in an effort to succeed in music as a career. Artists who’d first attracted notice for sample-based bangers they made on a laptop started posing with vintage hardware in their press photos and trading in their laptops for live bands and recording studios. It became harder to distribute DJ mixes or mash-ups that contained copyrighted music in them. Influential bloggers either closed up shop or were absorbed into the traditional music industry in some way. Feeds that once touted bizarre songs by laptop-toting weirdos with no industry connections started to become populated mostly by artists with labels and publicists. The bottom rungs of festival lineups started to consist mostly of new major label signings who have lots of money to spend on stage production but not much in the way of grassroots fan enthusiasm or media buzz. 
Internet music and what people tend to refer to as “indie music” split off into two separate streams. Today, there’s a pretty intense firewall between internet culture and whatever you want to call the culture of vinyl records, mid-sized indie labels with publicists, and positive reviews from the few remaining websites that still pay people to write about music. I call it “publicist indie,” “lifestyle techno,” or “prestige electronica” depending on whether or not the music features guitars and/or vocals. The recent online kerfuffle about NFTs really emphasized this split. The worlds of digital illustration and game development campaigned aggressively against mass adoption of cryptocurrency - if you saw any Medium posts explaining crypto’s environmental issues, chances are they were written by someone from those fields. Every new announcement by an artist that they had minted an NFT was met with a swift and vocal backlash from fans. Though I’ve never really been much of an Aphex Twin fan, it was still pretty startling to look at the replies under his NFT announcement tweet and see hundreds of furious people announcing that he was now dead to them. That’s an artist who has seemed more or less unimpeachable for most of my life up until this point! All of that seemed to change in an instant.
There is a massive disconnect between the insular world of the industry establishment and the cutting edge of online counterculture. We saw this again a couple of weeks ago with the online response to the crisis in Gaza. We saw passionate advocacy for Palestinians from games journalists and developers much more often than we saw it from musicians. This is a very serious problem for music! I do not believe it is possible to please both sides - that is to say, I do not believe it is possible to be part of internet counterculture and the industry establishment simultaneously. The music industry is too conservative, too compromised, too corrupt. If it weren’t for the ocean of valuable copyrights that labels are sitting on, most of them would be bankrupt within a year. If the industry was forced to live or die based on how they handle what’s happening right now in the present, it would most assuredly die. The only people who don’t realize this are those who are being paid to stay ignorant. 
Josh and I did not know this back then. From where we were standing, it looked like internet culture and established media industries were on track to converge. A career in the arts seemed genuinely, tantalizingly possible, right up until the moment that it no longer did. 
In my case, I had really been struggling up until that point. My life had been this ongoing sequence of evictions and hospitalizations, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better. I donated plasma twice a week to pay for groceries and while I was sitting there with a giant needle stuck in my left arm for an hour I would see my picture in The Fader or my songs being recommended by one of the Kings of Leon on Twitter or whatever. Music seemed like the only thing the world thought I was any good at. It felt like my only chance at a peaceful, happy life was somewhere out there in a world I could only perceive through a laptop screen. 
Gender, for me, was a big factor in all of this. The more invested in the craft of songwriting I became, the harder it was to repress or ignore my gender stuff. At that time I’m not sure I even knew what the word “transgender” meant - I just knew that when I showed up at a venue wearing a skirt, no one would talk to me or look me in the eye, and that reading about people like Anohni or Terre Thaemlitz or on the internet made me feel like if I could get out of Minneapolis maybe I could find a place where people would accept me. The internet was like, a pretty toxic place for someone in my position. When I tried to find people to talk to about what I was feeling, nobody tried to tell me to read Judith Butler or ask me what pronouns I preferred. The internet was just like, overrun with predators who just wanted to fetishize me and exploit me. Music seemed like the only way I’d ever have an actual life as myself. I was desperate for that. I was well and truly desperate.
Between all the big changes that were happening to us individually and the music industry moving farther and farther away of the anarchic free-for-all of MP3 file-sharing culture, the strain on us just got to be too much. We stopped trusting each other. We became the unstoppable force and the immovable object, crashing haphazardly against one another’s resolve in a dazzling display of youthful futility. Our partnership ended, and after finishing out the remaining live shows on the calendar by myself, I retired the name “Elite Gymnastics” and started making music on my own under other names. That was that.
Q: Why is Elite Gymnastics coming back now, then?
A: Over the years, Josh and I eventually started talking again. Though there was a lot we did agree on, and potential future projects were discussed, nothing truly felt right. We haven’t been in the same room since Summer 2012, and we’ve both changed a lot since then. We both have other projects and we’ve both developed other ways of working since we stopped working together. It’s a pretty big commitment to put all of that aside in order to join your fortunes together with someone you haven’t seen in a decade.
Recently, Josh decided to leave Elite Gymnastics. His reasons are his own, and I was very surprised by his decision, but after having had time to adjust, I’m really grateful to him. I had kept these songs at a distance for many years, because it seemed foolish to allow myself to get too attached to songs I didn’t feel like I was allowed to think of as mine, if that makes any sense. The songs felt like casualties of a conflict that I had to bury in the ground and try to forget about. Being able to embrace them again felt like re-growing a severed limb or having a loved one come back to life, almost. Feeling like it was safe to love these songs again made me feel whole in a way I didn’t expect to. I became really excited by the prospect of revisiting them, so that’s what I decided to do.
Q: Does this mean you’re going to put RUIN back on Spotify?
A: No. Taking the record off Spotify was the right thing to do. That record was only ever intended to exist during the era of MP3 piracy. I never envisioned a world where the music industry would be so aggressive about policing the way that copyrighted music is allowed to exist online. If we hadn’t opted to take the record down when we did, someone would inevitably have forced us to. If you want to hear those specific recordings again, you’re going to have to do it the way we originally intended: by downloading MP3 files from the internet. Try SoulSeek.
Q: What’s next for Elite Gymnastics, then?
A: Here’s the situation currently. There is no Elite Gymnastics music available to stream or purchase in an official capacity anywhere on the internet. It wouldn’t really be possible for me to put the old stuff on Spotify or Bandcamp now because of all the samples. Like I said before, it was a different time. Those records were created to thrive on a past version of the internet that no longer exists. They weren’t designed to be compatible with the 2021 internet.
Technically, Elite Gymnastics didn’t ever release a debut album. We had EPs, a compilation, and a remix collection. We didn’t make an album, a record that existed as the distillation of all that experimentation that contained all of the songs that fans of the EPs would want to hear, all in one place. It’s like we did Good Fridays but stopped before we made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.
So, I am currently working on the first Elite Gymnastics album. If you were following my stuff as Default Genders, you may have noticed me posting demos on my SoundCloud page from 2015-2018 that were all eventually reworked into the album Main Pop Girl 2019. The album I am making is taking that approach to all the old EG songs, including some unreleased stuff. I’m collaborating with others on some songs and I honestly feel like it has resulted in some of the best and most exciting music I have ever been involved with. It is a drastic reinvention, but iteration and reinvention have always been a big part of what I do. I want to make something that feels like the culmination of everything that came before, and so far, I think I’m succeeding.
Q: When will I be able to hear this new music?
At a virtual fundraiser on June 4th, 2021, where there is a suggested donation of $10. You can access it at quietyear.com
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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years
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Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Peanut butter. I don’t get the Nutella hype to be honest.
Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? I refuse to choose cause I love both.
What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I’m not sharing that.
Do you like breadsticks? Yes. The more cheesy-garlicky, the better. <<< Yesss. With marinara or some kind of olive oil sauce for dipping.
What are your favorite things to spend money on? Food and clothes.
Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy. 
How old will you be on your next birthday? 33. 
Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Yes. I’m a picky and particular eater, even when it comes to how I eat. Plus, I take forever to finish my food, so I’ll still be eating longgg after everyone else and I just feel awkward and rushed cause I don’t want to keep anyone waiting.
When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? What time it is is generally my first thought. 
What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? A framed photo of my dog, Brandie, who passed away December 26, 2016.
Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? I have no desire to be one. Not like I’d be cut out to be one anyway, so it works out. As far as dating one... I don’t know if I’d want to date anyone in the spotlight like that. That kind of life is not for me. 
Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Nooo. I don’t make fun of people or purposely try to hurt someone.
Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Intelligence.
Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? No.
You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? All expenses paid vacation.
Honestly, have you ever danced naked? No.
What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Take candy from the candy bins at the grocery store when I was a kid. I was a big rebel, I know. 
What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Google.
Do you like to write poetry? I don’t write poetry. I’m not a poet and I do know it. 
Are your ears pierced? Yeah, my earlobes.
If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? I’m not sure, since my mom had them pierced when I was a baby. I would guess piercing gun, though. <<<
Do you wear makeup regularly? No. Prior to my brother’s grad party back in May it had been like 4 years since I wore any makeup. I haven’t worn any since then. 
Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? No, I made a microwave breakfast egg scramble thing with these microwave mini pancakes. 
When was the last time you tripped over something? My doggo likes to leave her toys right in the way so it’s not such a rare occurrence. 
Who was the last person you yelled at? Not yell, but had to get stern with my doggo earlier when my aunt brought her doggo over. Mine was getting too hyper and excitable and wanted to play of course, but her dog is a tiny chihuahua and was scared. My dog forgets how big she is sometimes lol. To be fair, she hasn’t had a lot of interaction with other dogs, which is something we should have tried to do more.
Why did you yell at them? ^ That.
Favorite type of apple? The brand, ha.
Ever seen live horse racing? No.
How about live greyhound racing? No.
What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? I need my coffee, ha.
Have you ever touched a giraffe? No, I wish!
What does your mom call you? She often calls me “Sis.” What stresses you out the most in life? My health.
Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Yeah, The Sims 4. I’ve been obsessed again lately. I go through phases with it.
If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. < Yeah. <<<
What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? I rocked out hard on easy mode, ha.
What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? I realized I wasn’t ready for a relationship and he was moving too fast for me so I ended it.
What’s your favorite country song? I like several, but the first that just randomly popped into my head is “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves.
What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Use and play me.
What were you for Halloween last year? I stopped dressing up a few years ago.
Are you feeling guilty for something? Yes, a few things. 
Are you usually quiet or loud? Most definitely quiet. No one would describe me as loud.
How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? It really varies. Some days definitely more than others.
What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and Doug to name a few.
Do your siblings text you? My younger brother does.
Do you want a small or big wedding? I don’t plan to ever get married.
Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Of course. That was like the first thing everyone did when it came out, which is quite funny because you could search anywhere and we chose our own house haha.
Who is your ex dating/talking to? I have no idea nor do I care to be honest.
Ever kissed someone who smokes? No.
Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? No, especially not nowadays. I’m so moody and irritable.
Do you own your own computer? I do.
Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? No.
What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? The ASMR video I’m listening to, my fans, and myself typing.
Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? No.
What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I don’t have any.
What do you typically order from Wendy’s? Meh, I rarely go to Wendy’s but if I did I’d just get a cheeseburger, fries, and a frosty.
Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No.
What do you love most about yourself? :/
Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No.
What are you doing right now? This and listening to an ASMR video.
What’s bothering you right now? My stomach.
What was the last thing you drank? Water.
Be honest, do you like people in general? I’m not a people person.
Do you want your tongue pierced? No.
Do you change your phone background a lot? I change it for the season or holiday. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? Not that I know of.
Have you ever been strip searched? No.
Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No, a lot of people have said they like it.
Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? No.
Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? People do throw that term around too loosely. That one and OCD.
Describe your day so far in three words: My stomach hurts.
What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? There had been many.
Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Butterfinger.
Have you ever stepped in dog poop? Ugh, yes.
What was the last thing you spent money on? Food.Yeah.
Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? No.
Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? Yeah.
Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? My parents and brother.
Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? Ooooh, both. I love coffee. <<<
Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? No.
Do you enjoy being outdoors? At the beach, yes.
Do people tell you that you have an accent? No.
Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? I wish they weren’t so damn loud.
What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? Meh.
Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? My parents and brother.
Do you enjoy tanning? I don’t mind if I get one while I’m at the beach, but I don’t actively go tanning or get tanned.
Are you a virgin? Yes.
Who’s your celebrity crush? Alexander Skarsgard.
Did or do you get good grades in English class? Yep. English was always my best and favorite subject.
What part of your body are you self-conscious about? All of it.
Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No. I like doing the appetizers, though.
Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? No.
Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? No.
When was the last time you got a shot? It’s been many years.
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jackawhacker · 4 years
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Who You’re Meant To Be
Contains breast expansion, ass expansion, giantess growth, and cock expansion
“It’s here!” Jolyne slammed the door to our apartment, eagerly rushing inside. She rounded the corner into the living room carrying a small cardboard box.
“Please, I told you to not slam that thing, our neighbors are going to report us again.” I complained.
“You’re just being a grouch, Elaine. Our neighbors don’t care.” She retorted, sticking her tongue out at me. It was hard to take her seriously whenever we argued. Her short five foot flat stature didn’t lend much authority to what she said, and the bright smile she wore whenever we bickered made me forget about what we were talking about in the first place.
I sighed, “It’s whatever. What did you order this time?” Jolyne had a habit of draining her bank account by purchasing all sorts of baubles and trinkets that she swore had some mystical property to them. Last week it was a “scrying orb” with the forbidden ability to see into the future. That illusion was broken pretty quickly after I pointed out the “Made in China” sticker on the bottom.
“Well since you asked,” she said as she plopped down on the couch next to me, “I found a surefire way to help our…” she paused, “...situation.”
For the past couple months our sex life had been rocky to say the least. It wasn’t either of our faults, in fact the intimate moments I shared with Jolyne over our two year relationship were some of the best of my entire life. Before her I felt like I couldn’t be loved.
The main problem was my dysphoria. Being a transgender woman unable to afford hormones and being outcast by my family took a heavy toll on my psyche. I couldn’t find it in me to accept myself, let alone ask somebody else to accept me. But Jolyne made me feel loved and cared for. She looked past my lumbering, wide six and a half foot frame and my rough angular features. She loved me for who I was.
But this last month I was having more and more trouble seeing my body in a positive light. I felt disgusting. And it interfered with the sexual dynamic of our relationship. I couldn’t get over the fact that I would be trapped in this body forever, and it really killed all sexual drive in me.
Jolyne nervously pushed a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear. “I know this is a touchy subject for you, but I really think I can help.” She never failed to try and make everything easier for me. She was there every step of the way. I appreciated her genuine care, even if I did doubt whatever she had to offer. “Alright, if you think it’ll work, I’ll give it a shot.” I said.
“Really?” She bounced up and down with glee, “Thank you Elaine! I know you won’t regret it.” She began tearing open the flap on the small cardboard package. The outside had no discernible markings; no shipping labels or company logos. After she finally got it open, she reached inside and produced a small aluminum sheet with two tablets encased in plastic, similar to the kind you’d pop cough drops or aspirin out of.
“What the hell are those?” I asked, taking the mystery container. The two pills were bright pink in color, devoid of any inscriptions.
“Those,” she said proudly, “are our little miracle workers. I got them off a website called Witch’s Wares.” She took the package back, and popped out the two pills from inside. “We each take one, and after that we’re supposed to become more ideal versions for ourselves and each other.”
“Ideal selves?” I inquired. “Like more at peace or inner calm or something?” The idea of taking random drugs off the internet made me nervous, but if it was something to just mellow you out for an hour or two I wouldn’t mind taking it.
“Not exactly,” she giggled, “it’s supposed to have a more physical effect.” She cocked her eyebrow and cupped the air in front of her flat chest. “Eh? Get it?” She winked at me. I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t satisfied with her body. Ever since puberty passed her over in high school she’d been looking for ways to give herself a boost in the chest department. She had gone through a multitude of natural oils and phony spell books trying to gain a couple cup sizes. Nothing worked of course, but she took it in stride by wearing push up bras and high heels to boost her confidence.
I rolled my eyes. “Jolyne, there’s no way I’m sticking some random snake oil pill in my mouth. Who knows where they came from.”
She frowned, turning away from me in mock anger. “Well then, I guess I’ll have to take this all by myself then.” She said, quickly popping a pill into her mouth before I could respond. God damnit. I couldn’t let her do this alone. If she was poisoned then I might as well be too. “You’re the devil.” I grumbled, swallowing the other pill. The taste was surprisingly sweet, almost like it was pure sugar.
She lightly pecked my cheek. “Thanks baby. I know you’ll enjoy this.” We sat on the couch for the better part of an hour, mindlessly watching reruns on TV, waiting for our miracle drug to kick in. Jolyne anxiously looked back and forth between us the entire time, waiting with bated breath for any sign of change. My eyes remain glued on the episode of MASH playing.
Finally I paused the show and turned to Jolyne. “Listen, not to rain on your parade, but I don’t-“
She had her eyes tightly shut. Her fists were clenched, and her back was arched in either pain or pleasure. A small bead of sweat began to trickle down her forehead. I stared at her, debating whether I needed to call poison control or 911, when she finally spoke up.
“Elaine… I feel really…” she whispered.
All at once, a sudden wave of heat spread across my chest, moving its way throughout my body as I began to breathe heavier. I was overcome with a tingling sensation that seemed to gently massage every inch of my body. I was expecting some sort of bad acid trip at worst, but this didn’t feel painful at all.
“Elaine… I feel good.”
All I could do was stare at my girlfriend as she began to gently moan under her breath. Her breaths were as deep as mine, her chest rising and falling steadily. With each breath it seemed that it rose a little higher, the fabric of her buttoned top slowly being pulled tighter and tighter. I thought I was seeing things, but there was no doubt about what was happening.
She looked down and realized the same thing I had. She looked back up and smiled at me. “See? I told you baby.” She moaned through labored breaths. “Oh Elaine, I feel really warm.” Her nails dug deep into the leather armrest of the couch as she fell back into her stupor.
It was hard to tell at first, but I could slowly see the top of her head rising, inch by inch towards the ceiling. Her ass below her had begun to push against her jeans, her growing hips putting strain on the material. Her curves continued to slowly blossom outwards, creating an hourglass from her once skinny frame. Her breasts had begun to put intense pressure on the buttons of her shirt, easily growing past handfuls now. This was impossible. There’s no way this was happening. And yet she continued to change. Her face was glazed over in ecstasy, unable to form any coherent thoughts as she grew and grew. Suddenly her eyes opened. “Baby, we should stand up. Quickly, quickly!”
I managed to distract myself from this impossible scene in front of me and drag myself off the couch. The tingle inside of me slowly intensified. Why hadn’t I changed yet? What would I look like? What would she look like? Why wasn’t I more freaked out?
I could see why she wanted to stand up. Her once diminutive stature was slowly creeping higher and higher. I couldn’t believe anything I was seeing. My dick tensed against my pants, all of this had me unbelievably turned on. Her legs poked out from the hemline of her jeans, steadily growing, pushing her up taller and taller. The top of her head was level with my nose by now. Her top finally gave up its fight with her expanding tits, launching buttons across the room, her bra snapping in half as breasts the size of her head were finally released from their prison.
“Elaaaaaiiiine,” she groaned, “I’m getting...so big. So big for you.” I looked into Jolyne’s eyes as she crept up to my height, and then past it. “So big baby. I know this is what you want.” And she was right. I had never been more turned on in my entire life. Jolyne was turning into an absolute goddess in front of me.
The jeans desperately clinging on to her frame finally ripped, her monumental bottom shredding them to bits. Her curves were not only massive, but impossibly beautiful. The soft bounce of her now basketball sized breasts was mesmerizing, and every inch added to her growing frame somehow made her more and more perfect with each passing second. The woman standing in front of me was becoming something greater. She stretched upwards, her hands grazing the ceiling.
Slowly her breathing returned to normal, the last bits of her growth coming to an end. I looked on in stunned silence. All I could see was the bottom of a massive pair of flawless, bountiful tits directly in front of me. I forced myself to crane my neck up at her, and gasped. This whole time I had been focusing on her growing body, I had neglected her face. The features were all hers, but changed enough to be the envy of any model. Her lips plumped, eyes glittering. It was intoxicating. I was at a loss for words.
Jolyne softly giggled and looked down on me. Even her voice had become angelic. “I think it’s your turn, Elaine.” She said in her new smooth and sultry tones.
Almost as if on cue, the warmth inside of me began to burn hotter. Realizing I didn’t have much time before the changes set in, I quickly began pulling my top off, only to be hit with a wave of unbridled pleasure. I could hardly move.
“Oh baby don’t worry,” Jolyne cooed, “I’ll get that.” She bent down, her hulking form pressing close to me. I could feel her breasts push into me, slowly consuming the entire upper half of my body. And as if they were nothing, she ripped off my clothes and tossed them aside. “That’ll make it better for both of us.” She stood back up and hungrily licked her lips in anticipation.
I wanted to reply, but all I could do was eek out a yelp of pleasure as the intense tingling settled on my dick. I felt the heat consume my four inch length, and slowly seem to intensify my hard on. It was hard to see at first, but it became apparent that my penis was thickening, growing longer by the minute. My unimpressive rod was now average looking, around six inches now.
The heat burned in my chest, and I almost cried in joy as I dared to hope what may happen. The flesh beneath my nipples pushed out, forming small buds that began rapidly increasing in size. I felt the same heat burn in my rear, and could feel the pressure on my hips as they got wider. My thighs began to thicken and jiggle with my thrashing in pleasure. All the years of hating who I was were now melting off as I began to settle into my new body. The popping and rearranging of my body felt almost orgasmic.
“Elaine, you’re growing so fast! You’re gonna be so big!” Jolyne exclaimed. She was right, I was growing much faster than her, my tits rapidly moving from the size oranges to small melons. All I could do was moan and let the feeling wash over me. This was almost everything I could have hoped for.
I was pulled from my reverie by the slapping of my dick against my stomach. It had grown beyond the point of big, and had moved its way into practically outrageous. It slowly inched higher as my breasts grew to envelop the head. I could feel the thick pulsing shaft creep up in between my breasts and cried out in pleasure. I was practically giving myself a tit job as my breasts massaged my penis with their growth, now as big as Jolyne’s.
I looked up to her from my haze, and realized I had to look further up than before. I didn’t reach the bottom of her tits anymore, I was staring smack dab at her belly button. Had she grown more?
It dawned on me. “I’m getting… smaller.” My now completely feminine frame had been slowly dwindling. The world around me seemed to expand and shift as I lost more and more height. I smiled as I looked up at my girlfriend, slowly sinking below her hips. My titanic breasts now hung below my navel, resting on the tops of my thighs. I could feel myself falling, being pulled further and further downward. My dick burst through the top of my cleavage, achingly hard and begging for release.
I could feel the last spurts of my change coming to an end. My hands roamed all over my new body. I had curves for days. Hell, I had curves for weeks. My dick bounced and throbbed as I felt myself up, thick and leaking precum.
“Oh Elaine, you’re beautiful.” Jolyne stepped closer to me. Her thighs filled my vision. I had shrunk enough to be eye level with her knees now, the thought of which excited me greatly. She knelt down on the floor, still much taller than me even crouched. “I knew this would work. You’re who you’re supposed to be now.” She smiled warmly.
The tingling sensation had slowly left, leaving me with only one thing on my mind.
“Jolyne?”
“Yes baby?” She replied.
“Let’s go to the bedroom.”
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hawkeyes-sanity · 3 years
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Oli's babbling post it is 12:13 and he can't sleep
So you ever forget what you're doing as you're doing it that's me all the time I honestly can't sleep right now because I'm not tired so I'm watching binging with babish and I'm just hungry now I'm just falling apart today has been a day of days I have to go to school again at 8:00 a.m. my alarm goes off at 7:10 a.m. I don't do math but I think I have six hours till I have to technically be up for school. I'm 19 and trying to get my high school diploma at this moment so yeah it's exhausting and I know I'm only in my young years but I'm allowed to be tired I'm allowed to complain.
Sometimes I wonder why I hold the movie MASH, top gun, The Green Mile and Pat Garrison and Billy the Kid so close to my heart and I realized I just have good taste of movies. I'm using text to speech right now if I don't know how good it's going I'm just talking in like putting indents not indent spaces where they need to go to show I move from one thought to another even though I didn't put a space between this and the thing in the thought above.
I'm kind of sad that it doesn't put my coughs in but I can understand why cuz over half this post would just be me coughing, I'm not sick anymore I don't know why I'm coughing. I just cough sometimes and it's weird.
It took me so long to realize that goose and Dr Mark green are the same person mostly because connect that Anthony Edward plays both and I feel like that's because he doesn't look like goose in ER so in my little world of my brain it's like it's not the same person that's like when I can't think of his last name but I'm pretty sure his first name is Rene who played Dago in the mash movie was Odo and Star Trek deep space nine right he was in the deep space nine it was deep deep space nine yet it was deep space. I mostly don't connect actors characters together because actors are supposed to be like chameleons for their roles like when I watched a show called say elsewhere I didn't realize Fiscus was Howie from Let's Make a deal wait no from deal or No deal that's what his show was dealing No deal.
I can't wait to read this post after I get some sleep if I ever get some sleep because I'm probably going to be like what was I doing what was I thinking my ADHD went off the record again. You ever think about the guy who made the enema like what made him think to do that you know like word that even come from I'm not even I don't even know if it was a guy who made it could have been a girl for all I know I don't know I don't know I don't know.
Well I've been incoherently babbling for a good amount of time I guess.
I wonder who thought let me dry out corn kernels and make popcorn the world confuses me a lot I've used the excuse I'm too transgender for this I'm female to male by the way and honestly I think that's why I have so much social anxiety I think that's where my real like anxiousness when I'm out and about in public comes from because sometimes I pass and sometimes I don't you know I don't know.
I started watching worst Cooks in America celebrity edition and by started watching I'm like halfway through the first episode I know like four people on it it's got that the kid who plays a Luke from modern family in it Ian from 90210 the original Daisy Duke Oscar from the office the toilet Jackson and other people that I don't know but Ian was looking for whipped cream in and told him he had to make it and he was like I don't know how to make it and she said it's literally whipped cream and he made it before the time ran out and I was so proud of him.
I'm going to keep using the same photo for when I babble so people who don't want to read my babbles can just like scroll by and people who want to read it instantly know oh that's one of Oliver's babblings I want to see if he's mentally stable that guy on the TV kind of look like Glenn Frey and I don't know how to feel about that distracted again I am still watching binging with babish but it's try to stop I can't think of her name and she's making like a fake food and not fake food like a savory food masquerading as a real no savory food masquerading as a sweet food.
I promise I'm okay I also promise that that might be a lie but I'm okay in the sense of I'm not having a panic attack or having a complete another mental breakdown I'm going to bed now I promise I'm probably going to be scrolling on Tumblr for another hour at least and I feel bad for that because I need sleep but I don't don't think I can fall asleep you know you know how you feel like tired but you don't think you could fall asleep that's how I feel right now like I feel exhausted but I can't fall asleep you know I watch this episode already. Good night.
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hotelconcierge · 6 years
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THE SOUND OF MANY ONE HANDS CLAPPING
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All of the blind men trying to describe the alt-right elephant seem to agree that anti-political-correctness is part of the picture. Maybe anti-PC isn’t the most important issue to any one alt-righter, but it’s the stance that is most widespread among them, sensitive but not specific. Okay. Why?
Movie reviewer/philosophizer “Film Crit Hulk” weighs in with “P.C. Culture Vs. The Big Joke - A tale of dissent in five acts”:
I'm sitting here at point of paralysis, trying to casually explain the rise of internet trolls, 4chan, hardcore gamer culture, lulz, twitter-eggs, gamergate, pepe the frog, the alt-right, the rich asshole and how they came all crashing together in spectacular ugliness...for the purposes of this conversation just know that all display a combo of 1) being virulently anti-PC. 2) being the kinds of people who have really sad, internal existences and internet they can be anonymous and escape into. And 3) a core philosophy that sees the value of what I will call "the big joke."
That is to say that the world itself is a joke.
I feel bad for mocking a lawful good superhero, but the above paragraph is the sickly sentimentality of someone who has fed on his own vomited platitudes for too long. If I ever reach “the point of paralysis” while explaining “lulz” or “twitter-eggs,” euthanize me.
There's a reason The Dark Knight's Joker struck such a cord with this populace and it wasn't just his good performance, it was his mantra: "Why so serious?" It was his ability to reign terror and tear apart hypocrisy. It was the sense power that comes with having such a freeing attitude toward the cares of society. The pure, bleak joy of nihilistic glee.
There isn't a side. There isn't a belief. The only goal is to burn down your side. After all, "Some men just want to watch the world burn."
Comparisons between children’s fantasy and adult reality tend toward the inane, but there’s a particular irony here: back in ‘08, when The Dark Knight came out, every dinner party worth schmoozing agreed that the pyromaniacs in question were supposed to represent Al Qaeda. And when someone pointed this out, the accepted reply was to say something about how, well, it’s more complicated than that, you see, back in the ‘80s everyone was doing a lot of cocaine and tweaking pretty hard about the Soviet Union, and well, maybe we funded some terrorists here and there, mistakes were made, that’s all I’m saying. It’s a little naive for Christopher Nolan to act like they’re just bad.
Now the analogy has switched teams and it didn’t get any less idiotic. I too have observed that some individuals are psychopaths who care about nothing except mashing the dopamine button. I have never observed a group of such people, in fact I’m not sure it’s possible, shit would go Reservoir Dogs before you could say “defect in the prisoner’s dilemma.” What makes fascism terrifying is that most fascists are not psychopaths. Nurses get Milgram’d on the daily, told to hurt people via IV pokes and pulled bandages, often doing this when patients are demented or delirious or otherwise screaming No No No. And yet nurses are some of the most compassionate people in existence. How do they stay sane? Any violation of another requires the same mentality: this is for the greater good. Repeated like a mantra, whether you’re building a utopia or feeding the kids or preparing to shoot up a school: this is for the greater good. It’s comforting to believe that the bad guys are motivated by “nihilistic glee” because that means you aren’t one of them. “If anything, my problem is...I care too much,” you say, between sobs, as you bring your boot down on the curb.
Political correctness is defined as, "the avoidance, often considered as taken to extremes, of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against.
For the moment, I hope you can get past any associations you might have and understand that the intent behind being politically correct is clear: empathy with marginalized groups.
We're supposedly having a debate between PC and Anti-PC culture, but we can't have a debate unless we're really talking about what we're really talking about...We have get away from so much of the false equivalency that surrounds this conversation...we can't miss the only two sides that matter:
Victim and victimizer.
Here’s the thing: no.
Film Crit Hulk’s argument has such polished stupidity that it reflects a shining truth: the switch from “being politically correct” to “PC culture.” This is the sleight of hand common to all defenses of political correctness. Being politically correct is something you do. PC culture is something you do to others.
Two case studies, and hold off on your value judgments:
1. Milo Yiannopoulos mocks and misgenders a transgender student.
2. Harvard rescinds 10 admission offers to students who posted offensive memes. (Incidentally—check out the cover photo of the linked articles.)
Intentionally misgendering someone is an aggressive act. This is true even if transgenderism is attention whoring or special snowflakism or whatever—misgendering violates the Zeroth Commandment of “Thou shalt call others by their chosen name.” You can argue that misgendering is justified, that it’s impractical to cater to every pronoun, that you shouldn’t encourage a society-wide “mental illness”—we can duke that out elsewhere—but don’t pretend it isn’t an act of aggression.
Contrast with the Harvard story: posting offensive memes in a private group chat is not an act of aggression. It may suggest poor character, it certainly suggests weak judgment, and Harvard has the right to kick ‘em out, but don’t pretend the dichotomy is between victim and victimizer when there was no victim.
Discussions of political correctness go nowhere because one team is hurt by the first example and retaliates with the second, the other is hurt by the second and retaliates with the first, and the internet makes private public so it’s impossible to tell the difference.
Film Crit Hulk spends the rest of his 8000 word essay on variations of:
So I'll ask again: why am I doing all this? Why write about movies and politics? Yes, it's because I give a shit. It's because I feel insanely lucky and want to express endless gratitude. I do not consider it heroic or anything more self-serving than the simple idea that it is important. It's because I feel compelled and passionate about it.
Because I don't think the world is a joke.
It's the only one we got and I'm trying to run around with 60 million other Americans and try to hold it together with duct tape. You can demonize this. You can demonize me. I don't care.
I don’t think you should stunt like Jesus on the cross when your grand insight is "them motherfuckers be crazy." But sure, I’m willing to buy that Hulk believes his own gospel. What he doesn’t get is that he holds the majority opinion. The Panopticon gives out mad brownie points for calling out -isms, even private victimless -isms; why wouldn’t it, you’re giving it that much more power over what used to be privacy. And maybe that’s fine, maybe if you’ve got nothing to hide you’ve got nothing to fear, but don’t say I didn’t warn you: "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." If society subsidizes political correctness, then some virtuous people will be PC but so will any competent sociopath. And no matter how noble the intentions behind a policy, when sociopaths exploit that policy, exploit it to shame and punish people who haven’t done anything wrong—well, you’ve got to admit that’s kind of funny.
Choose:
THE GENDER NULLARY
HYPOCRISY’S BAD, BUT YOU’RE WORSE
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ladystylestores · 4 years
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Nicolas Ghesquière Photographs Louis Vuitton’s Fall Campaign – WWD
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Confinement pushed many fashion people to be creative in different ways, to move outside their comfort zone and usual perimeter of expression.
It gave Nicolas Ghesquière the bold idea to shoot Louis Vuitton’s fall campaign, his extensive “portrait gallery” as direct, sharp and carefully considered as his fashions, though with a lighter spirit. He even coaxed some full-on smiles.
“It was something I wanted to do for a long time, in a very humble way,” he said. “I thought it was interesting to add a new point of view for Vuitton, and they were kind enough to agree to take a risk on a very young, new photographer.”
Ghesquière laughed. He’s actually not such a newbie, recalling that he photographed his designs earlier in his career “to try to give them that second dimension,” and for years toted an old Leica to snap personal pics, accumulating boxes and boxes of images. “I think maturity, probably, and experience give you confidence to take positions you never took before,” he mused.
Mariam de Vinzelle  Courtesy Photo
His pitch to Vuitton chief executive officer Michael Burke and executive vice president Delphine Arnault was to bring coherence and unity in communication across multiple categories of product. “And I told them, ‘I think I’m ready to do that,’” he related in an exclusive interview.
Indeed, the campaign, slated to run over three months after it breaks Aug. 1 in Le Figaro, amalgamates what would have been several campaigns: showcasing not only the fall runway collection, but also the new Since 1854 range, plus permanent products designed long before Ghesquière arrived at the French luxury house in 2013.
Ghesquière acknowledged that one of the most challenging aspects was photographing the leather goods. “You know how essential handbags are at Vuitton, and we love handbags, but it is so hard to give handbags a great visual effect,” he said.
French actress Léa Seydoux, in perhaps the most joyful of the images, found a way to suspend a monogram Dauphine bag over her forearm and elbow as she folds her arms behind her head and lets out a laugh.
“There are so many things that I like about this picture: the attitude, the fact that he captured a genuine moment where I was laughing. He didn’t ask me to laugh on purpose,” Seydoux marveled. “As with everything he does, Nicolas was a pro. He knew exactly what he wanted, talked me through the brief and took the time to explain what he wanted to achieve. He guided the team and me throughout the session, creating a really relaxed atmosphere, so we got the shot very quickly.”
Léa Seydoux  Courtesy Photo
Ghesquière said his motivation to shoot a campaign was to “show that I could have a point of view.”
To be sure, the French designer said he has long been inspired by fashion photography “so it was interesting to be on the other side of the camera,” he said. “Some people have this crazy capacity to be so photogenic, and some other people that are so gorgeous in real life are not that easy to photograph. I mean, it is the reality and this is a discussion I have had with many photographers.”
He’s worked with the crème de la crème: Annie Leibovitz, Bruce Weber, Steven Meisel, David Sims, Juergen Teller, Collier Schorr, Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin among them. What’s more, Irving Penn has shot the designer’s portrait, and he attended a Penn fashion shoot for American Vogue featuring model Gemma Ward.
All have different working methods, and Ghesquière gleaned many insights.
“Some people can catch the moment very quickly, and the first picture will often be the right one. Bruce catches that moment of emotion that is very raw, and David has that gift, too,” he said. Penn, meanwhile, was all about building up the image slowly and methodically. “The way he was putting the girl and the clothes and the composition together was exactly like what you can imagine a painter would do, and the time for him was limitless,” Ghesquière said. “He could take days to do one shot.”
During his debut Vuitton shoot, “what I was looking for was the direct emotion,” Ghesquière said. “So I was the more quick type. I was trying to get something right at the beginning of this session.”
A heritage trunkmaker still closely associated with travel, Vuitton campaigns have been shot all over the world, from the swamps of Cambodia and downtown Moscow to Pompano Beach, Fla., and the storied Île Saint-Louis in Paris.
Yet Ghesquière decided to stay put, inviting the entire cast and crew to his Paris apartment, where he could closely follow all safety precautions to protect everyone from the coronavirus.
“I wanted to welcome people at home, to make them comfortable, and to set up a relationship of trust,” he said, also describing the space as very feng shui. “Today I think home means a lot to people. In the moment we all just went through, going home, being at home, is even a stronger symbol than before. So that was why I wanted to do it there.”
Dina Asher-Smith  Courtesy Photo
The designer assembled a large and diverse cast for the shoot. They include British sprinter Dina Asher-Smith, transgender model Krow Kian, actress Stacy Martin and the Congolese-Belgian singer known as Lous and the Yakuza. Ghesquière said he was often sneaking off to the makeup area to listen in on conversations, always curious to know about the personalities he recruits, their artistic expressions, and their interests.
“You have to try to shoot models for who they are in real life, not because they are models,” he said, noting, for example, that sleepy-eyed Mariam de Vinzelle is studying engineering and talks science as fluently as the designer does fashion history. “She’s a model, but I see her more as the student she is,” he said.
For Seydoux, who will be seen late this year in the James Bond film “No Time to Die” and in Wes Anderson’s “The French Dispatch,” the designer “wanted to catch that sense of humor she has in real life and this lightness,” not forgetting her inimitable mix of French beauty and Hollywood glamour.
Martin, who stars in the acclaimed sci-fi film “Archive,” said Ghesquière approached the shoot with a “precise eye” and clear intentions.
“Nicolas always seems to see beyond the clothing — he creates not only a silhouette but also a character in a distinctive world. I think that’s why I respond to it so much, it echoes cinematic worlds,” she said. “He looks for what magnifies women and makes them feel unique by going past the conventions of beauty and fashion.”
French actress Marina Foïs lauds Ghesquière’s bold use of color and mash-up of references in his fashions, and yet “no one disappears behind what they wear,” she says. “What strikes me about these photos, mine and the others, is the directness, the strength of the gazes and the truth of the smiles. It’s simple and sophisticated.”
Ghesquière worked with professional crews to achieve the lighting and framing he had in mind, leaving him free to conjure moments he described as simple, positive and at times joyful. “It’s also the message I wanted to give,” he said.
“Probably my work when I do fashion shows is much more about drama, because the fashion show is usually quite dramatic. And I thought the campaign would be interesting if I could achieve a different kind of emotion,” he said.
Ghesquière acknowledged that he had to occasionally resist the urge to drop the camera, and jump onto the set to adjust the clothes, leaving that job to stylist Marie-Amélie Sauvé, who draped a hoodie over Asher-Smith’s head, a wink to her athleticism.
He said it was inspiring to see how “all these elements came together with great coherency. There is a strong proposition at Vuitton that says a lot about how much people are working together in that brand.”
The designer also felt a strong sense of accomplishment having followed his clothes from their creation to the “final point,” which is the campaign. “It was interesting to take control of that and to really go through the whole process until photographing the clothes,” he said. “I took so much pleasure to do it. It was a joyful experience, and safely done. I shot the different talents one by one.”
Very few designers pick up a camera themselves, with the late Karl Lagerfeld perhaps the most accomplished of them all, having lensed campaigns for Chanel, Fendi and his own brand for decades, along with advertisements for Dom Pérignon, Adidas and Coca-Cola. Hedi Slimane followed in his footsteps and shoots all brand imagery for Celine.
Recently, Valentino’s Pierpaolo Piccioli and Balmain’s Olivier Rousteing picked up a camera to shoot their resort campaigns.
Ghesquière made it clear his expansive fall campaign is not a one-off.
“Yes, I hope to continue shooting,” he said, “but I also want to keep working with great talents. Vuitton is so large and we always need different images.”
Ghesquière suggested to Burke and Arnault that he could do a “working session” just to reassure them he was up to the task, but they did not insist.
“They were very supportive right at the beginning, they never saw any picture that I did before. And they really trust my vision from in the first minute I shared the idea of this project with them. It was really great to explore a new artistic expression I could add to the Vuitton story we’ve been telling over the last years,” Ghesquiere said, describing himself as “someone that could really put together this message with a lot of unity, a universal message about what is Louis Vuitton today and how it can reflect the world of today.”
According to Burke, Ghesquière offered “a more focused point of view” for Vuitton at a time when new media is exploding. “There are very few global buys anymore,” he said. “We’ve empowered completely all our countries and regions.”
Also, Vuitton is forgoing the past impulse to dedicate campaigns to certain seasons or product categories. “People want to see Nicolas’ point of view on the Vuitton woman,” he said. “There’s more movement, more attitude, more inclusivity — all the things that resonate with digital media platforms.”
While he didn’t give numbers, Burke said Vuitton would spend more on advertising in the second half of 2020 than the same period last year, reflecting a rebound in business in many markets, and unspent monies carried over from the first half. It is also to support a stronger pipeline of new products, headlined by Since 1854, a range of clothes and leather goods featuring a new jacquard.
Burke said the new campaign would lead to a sequel, done with the same dedication to diversity and inclusion, and a reliance on local casting. While the latter was a necessity this year due to travel restrictions, Burke said “that’s also the future.”
While he didn’t rule out campaign shoots in cities other than Paris, Burke said Vuitton would rely on talents in town at the time rather than flying in models, singers and actresses from all over the world. “It makes for a much more authentic set,” he said.
Vuitton will also run separate campaigns for its men’s product universe and high jewelry in the second half, he noted.
Deciding to shoot the women’s campaign was not the only new idea Ghesquière had during lockdown.
“I took that opportunity to step back, to think more deeply about how I do things,” he said. “I want to be an actor of change. To change in everyday actions, in everyday decisions is important.”
In lieu of a destination cruise show — Vuitton has shown as far afield as Brazil and Japan — the designer created a more concise collection of about 20 looks, pouring a lot of energy into fabric development, including a new monogram toile incorporating playing-card motifs.
“It is a very strong statement in fashion, I did it with the same honest message, the same conviction, with no compromise,” he said. “It pushed us to go straight to the essentials, maybe to do fewer prototypes, to waste less maybe, to be more focused on the message.”
He said he was heartened by the positive feedback, though he still plans to do a physical show in October,
“I’m going to do digital stuff like everyone, I’m working on different projects that can reach the people who will be far away from us unfortunately,” he said. “But I need a physical, live event that will take place in Paris and I’m doing everything to make it happen, limited obviously by the sanitary conditions. I really hope the fashion week will exist. Everyone has a responsibility and the big brands are important in this calendar.”
He allowed that the show is likely to be smaller, “more adapted to what we’re going through.”
More from WWD.com:
Louis Vuitton Switches to a New Model for Men’s Shows
Coronavirus Crisis Hits Fall 2020 Advertising Campaign Productions
The Best Fashion Ad Campaigns of Spring 2020
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emilyiannielli · 7 years
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My dad
Today is Father's Day and I want to wish my dad a very Happy Father's Day as we unfortunately lost him to suicide in 2009. My mom we lost to mental illness in 1990. That tragic end does not however define my father's life as he was truly a hero to me. He served 2 years in the Navy at the age of 17 and after that went to work at age 19 in the 'family business' which actually was not truly a family business but his father and he and his 3 brothers also worked proudly as ironworkers building bridges, office building, courthouses, hospitals, high schools and skyscrapers that dot the Manhattan skyline. He was very proud of what he did and he did it for over 45 years and in between that time he managed to marry the love of his life, my mother who gave birth first to me and then to my two younger sisters. My father and mother were so proud when I was born a boy that they gave me the same name as his father and himself with my mother's approval so I was born Edward D Iannielli III. The D is for Donald. I was and always will be proud of my name because that was bestowed on me by my parents with pride so I accept my name with honor and pride. My two sisters and I had wonderful parents but unfortunately mom had mental illness and was in an out of hospitals from her early 30's when my youngest sister was only 4 years old, my middle sister was 8 and I was 10. My father literally had to take on the roles of both mom and dad while working in a dangerous business where he saw death and tragedy having lost a friend, his father and one of his brothers to the business due to falls from different construction sites. We were young and while mom was in the hospital dad would go right to the hospital after his work day and then would bring us home White Castle burgers with fries quite a bit in addition to pizza and Chinese food until we became self sufficient to cook for ourselves. I would usually go to the store and my dad would give us money when mom was unable to shop and I would by bread, milk, eggs, cheese, butter, Kraft macaroni and cheese, Oreo cookies, pop tarts, captain crunch cereal, soups, spaghetti o's, spaghetti, frozen pizza, chicken pot pies, pastries, soda, potato chips, chicken cutlet, beef, ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, tuna fish, olive loaf and turkey breast, lettuce, tomatoes and pickles Thomas's English muffins, olive oil, shredded mozzarella cheese and olives. Then my sister's would cook and I would make grilled cheese sandwiches the way my mom made them and English muffin pizza's while my sister's and I would have a plate of chicken cutlets with mashed potatoes or spaghetti waiting for dad after visiting mom in the hospital. My dad was a quiet man who was very kind and caring and you could tell he was hurting because mom was sick and there was very little we could do as her psychiatrist just prescribed her tons of medication and she had several electro shock therapy sessions and we had no idea what to say or do about that. Mom really suffered and dad was so loyal to her even during her last remaining days when we kind of knew we were going to lose her. Mom died at age 50 in 1990. I was 29, my middle sister was 27 and our younger sister was 22. My two sisters were already independent and my middle sister was married with a son who mom did get to share time with. My younger sister had her own apartment and was dating. I was the one still at home with my father and I lived to see how her death deeply impacted him as he isolated himself basically closing himself off to others and the only things aside from his children and grandchildren and future grandchildren was his ironworking and his love of books and passion for making airplanes out of cardboard, toothpicks and balsa wood as well as replica construction sites and tower cranes. He was also a big fan of John F Kennedy and Charles A Lindbergh and WWII movies. He would sometimes go and visit family relatives but basically aside from me being home he was very isolated and depressed and started unfortunately to drink his problems away but the drinking only resulted in more problems where Dad had to go for detox in Rhode Island for 30 days and family interventions and was in psychiatric hospitals like mom. I was literally witnessing my father becoming unglued and I was also struggling with mom's death, my dad's anti social situation and his drinking problems in addition to my gender struggle and self imposed isolation. I was going down the same path as my father and had thought about suicide so after seeing all this play out I needed to start going for therapy in my early 30's which also coincided with my desire to transition to become a woman but I couldn't as it would have crushed my father so I had to keep it internalized and continue therapy to try to deal with my mom's death, my father's situation and my own. Throughout all the pain and heartache and tragedy I always saw an inner strength in my dad that forced him to live despite his weaknesses. He was a very devoted and loyal husband to mom, a very loving and caring father to my two sisters and I and was a very proud ironworker doing something he loved as he provided for his family so as I reflect on Father's Day I always will hold on to the many wonderful attributes of my dad who was my hero and remember how much he loved mom and my two sisters and I and our children. He always made time for his grandchildren and would visit us and have conversations with Matthew and he would play games and build lego structures as he talked about building the Verrazano Bridge and I'll never forget this precious moment when my dad, me and my son Matty would drive over the Verrazano Bridge and my dad, 'Pop' would say to Matthew 'I built that bridge' and my son's eyes would light up saying 'you built that whole bridge' as he felt so proud and all I could do was choke back tears when I learned that my dad had taken his life on April 16, 2009; exactly 2 years following the Virginia Tech mass shooting tragedy. I even remember my dad calling me up to tell me about it since I studied mechanical engineering there many years earlier. The coroner ruled my dad's death a suicide as he jumped into the path of a rush hour train essentially being crushed to death at age 73, no suicide note; and my brother-in-law went to identity the body as I couldn't handle it myself. Our whole family was devastated and I started to withdraw even though I was married with a beautiful wife and our 10 year old autistic son who kept asking us why Pop doesn't come by anymore as we couldn't tell him for quite some time and he would rationalize that Pop was on vacation and we'd see him again. It was such a tragic and difficult time and I just started back in therapy talking about all the family tragedies as I also tried to speak of my personal struggles with being transgender. It took me 48 years to finally embrace the true me as I knew I felt like a girl since age 3. I came out at age 51 and was talked into taking a new job with a pediatrician who had several offices and was looking for a controller but from day one he never allowed me a phone or gave me a seat in business meetings so I felt like I was an experiment but the practice manager made it seem like they were transgender friendly but the doctor/owner wanted no part with me so he had the practice manager terminate me, I fainted, was brought to Bellevue hospital where I spent ten days and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and gender dysphoria and they had to find me an out patient facility before they could release me which was Mount Sinai Beth Israel Hospital where I went for almost 4 years and was approved for both SSD/LTD, eventually Medicare and waiver of premium for my $1M life Insurance policy that will pay out in any event if I die no later than September 30, 2036 as I will be 75 and I have no real desire to live past age 65 - 69. I don't see the age of 70 in my future but I will live my life as Emily Iannielli with the D being Denise but retaining my birth name and I am proud to be a father of my son Matthew Edward Iannielli and wish to express my appreciation to my wife who did all the hard work as his mother. Im still with my family luckily as I continue to live out the rest of my life as Emily my transgender name which will always be unofficial since I'm not planning to change my name even if I'm fortunate to have the surgery. So I wish to extend a very Happy Father's Day to my Father who is now 8 years in heaven with mom who is 27 years in heaven and also I wish to make mention of my 26 year old nephew who tragically died on April 14, 2017 with no definitive explanation by the coroner's office yet as to why and our family is completely devastated over this and I wish to extend my condolences to my sister and her husband who had to bury their child. I also wish to extend Happy Father's Day wishes to all my friends here who are fathers whether they are men or transgender women. In my book they are all fathers including transgender women who have children through marriage when they were living as men like myself. There's no shame in being transgender but to deny fatherhood by making up a word to identify yourself as is not in my eyes the right thing to do. I'm a father and I also happen to be a transgender woman and I'm lucky to be a father to a wonderful son who now is 18 years old! Where has the time gone? I remember when he was in the hospital bassinet and now he's a grown young man who's the best part of my life!❤️ Happy Father's Day! Love, Emily Edward
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