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rlyehtaxidermist · 3 years

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FUCK YOU GENSOKYO!

If you're dumb enough to buy a new card this incident, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Boss Takane's Hell Cards!

Bad deals! Bombs that get wasted! Thieves!

If you think you're going to find a bargain at Boss Takane's, you can kiss my ass! It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker that you'll fall for this bullshit, GUARANTEED!

If you find a better deal: Shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right: Shove it up your ugly ass!

Bring your gohei, bring your hakkero, bring your wife: we'll fuck her! That's right: We'll fuck your wife! Because at Boss Takane Hell's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!

Take a hike to Boss Takane Hell's: Home of Challenge Grazing! That's right: Challenge Grazing! How does it work? If you can graze six spells straight without bombing, you get no down payment!

Don't wait! Don't delay! Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off! Only at Boss Takane's Hell, the only dealer that tells you to fuck off!

Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute you write us a check, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Go to hell! Boss Takane's Hell Cards. Gensokyo's filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest yamawaro bitches on Youkai Mountain: GUARANTEED!

#touhou #touhou spoilers /#yamashiro takane #shitposting is an art

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evilisk · 3 years

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Thinking About TH18′s Cast

Just revisiting my thoughts on TH18′s cast now that we’re hours away from this year’s popularity poll.

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Here are the Unconnected Marketeers characters from “least to most liked”

No. 8: Takane Yamashiro

Before UM, I always thought a second Kappa would be good. I thought that because ZUN has Nitori appear so often in official works that a second Kappa would allow Nitori to feel less overexposed. While I still like Takane, and I eagerly anticipate what fan works will do with her and Nitori, I do have to admit she’s the weakest newcomer of the bunch.

I think her design (which is a remix of Nitori’s one) is the most disappointing aspect. On the one hand, it’s consistent with Touhou’s lore; the Yamawaro have been in Gensokyo’s background since Wild and Horned Hermit, and their visual design straight up was just “Kappa but with Camo”. On the other hand, it’s hard not to call the design extremely safe. Takane’s design looks even worse when we have Megumu to compare to; she’s another Tengu, sure but she looks nothing like the existing tengu. I think it wouldn’t be wrong to call Takane’s design the least ambitious one in TH18.

I should say: I really do love UM's cast. Her being my least favorite doesn't mean I dislike her at all. But I really can’t justify putting her above anyone else.

No. 7: Sannyo Komakusa

It’s another character I appreciate for the world building. I didn’t explicitly want another Mountain Hag, but I do appreciate that we got her anyway; she and Nemuno help make it feel like Youkai Mountain isn’t just populated by Tengu. I don’t have much else to say; she’s just not my type of character. I find her unconventional power to be really fun. I’ll always prefer ridiculously specific and mundane powers like “the ability to listen to 10 people at once” or “the ability to calm people with tobacco smoke” in Touhou.

No. 6: Mike Goutokuji

She’s still a Stage 1 boss (most Stage 1 bosses don’t end up being hat interesting) but she’s great. Her backstory is just interesting enough to make her better than most Stage 1 bosses (it arguably makes her better than a good number of Stage 2 bosses too). I also like her attacks. Most Stage 1 bosses are too easy, but Mike’s spellcards are just difficult enough to make Stage 1 interesting.

No. 5 Megumu Iizunamaru

I wasn’t expecting to place her so low when I started this post. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that, to me, she’s the least interesting of UM’s Big 4. It's still great that we get some Tengu worldbuilding with her. But Megumu’s simple “hungry for power” motivation is a bit generic compared to the other co-conspirators. I can’t dislike her too much though, her theme is great and her star themed danmaku is so pretty.

No. 4 Misumaru Tamatsukuri

While I don’t like her design, she’s just so mysterious that I can’t help but be fascinated by her. I mean this lady crafted the Hakurei Yin Yang Orb. She has so much potential. The context of her fight is also hilarious. We’ve all heard Touhou bosses go, “sorry but I can’t let you pass” but Misumaru’s fight is the first time where “actually, yes, you really shouldn’t keep going forward”

No. 3 Chimata Tenkyuu

The Goddess of the Marketplace herself has really grown on me. At first I thought her design was horrid and her theme was underwhelming. Now I can't even get her theme out of her head (...that outfit still bad though. At least fan artists can make it look good. And the original, bad as it is, is bad in a fun, “vintage ZUN Art” kind of way a la TH10 Hina). Chimata really is a fun addition though. Her backstory gives me such strong “underdog final boss vibes” like Shinmyoumaru in TH14. I’ll also admit I love Touhou’s god characters more than the youkai, so I’ll happily accept another.

As for second and first place... I actually cannot decide which character I like more.

No. 1A Momoyo Himemushi

“Giant, stinky, fight hobo centipede youkai that wants to eat dragons” is just such a fun concept. And everything also about her is great too from her patterns to her boss music to her design (it’s honestly perfect for Momoyo’s personality. Though I am also in love with all the unnecessary ribbons on Momoyo’s limbs). At the same time, she is a bit simplistic. And Momoyo is far from the only fight hobo Touhou. Even if she’s one of the rare fight hobos that ISN’T an oni...

No. 1B Tsukasa Kudamaki

Tsukasa is such a lovable scamp though. And she appeals so much to my tastes. I love manipulative Touhou characters like Miko and Mamizou, and I especially love the ones that really don’t do much fighting (a la Seiga and Tewi). I also appreciate how Tsukasa is so good and so prominent in UM’s story, she makes you forget that she’s just a midboss.

I really don’t know who I prefer more. Momoyo has an actual boss fight and is more “complete” as a Touhou character, but Tsukasa has so much potential (if nothing else, I really want to see Tsukasa interacting with Mamizou). I think, for this year’s popularity poll, I’ll have to go with Momoyo. For no other reason than “I liked Momoyo first”. If they end up giving us more votes this year, maybe I’ll vote for both. If not, I’ll probably just vote Tsukasa next year/poll.

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sannyo-appreciation-posts · 2 months

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POV: you are a Yamajorou, Takane has caught you gambling

#touhou project #takane yamashiro #sannyo komakusa #The Yamawaro scalpers got too ambitious. Both in scalping and in gambling #Yugioh #I used Takane's confusion and lack of anger at the 18.5 ending for her reaction.#Maybe the highly specific joke about Yugioh card buyouts was too ambitious #But Yamawaro would be all over that.

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sannyo-appreciation-posts · 3 months

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what are, in your opinion, the best ships involving Sannyo? I'm easily influenced by canon so I'd say mamizou is pretty good. i saw what you said about seiga and while it's true i hate seiga with a passion

[All art used is sited with the reliant link at the bottom]

Truth be told, I'm not much of a shipper personally, but I have a lot of fun seeing it from different people and thinking about where it comes from.

But this will be fun. So fun, that im going to take this thought way further than i need to. Hopefully I'll have a good number of ships by the time I'm done over analyzing this.

(I actually mentioned that about Seiga because its the only time I've ever seen that ship before, let alone seen any art for it, and was thinking up how it happened, it was cute art after all)

There's actually a much more common ship with a similar character chemistry pairing Sannyo with Yachie,

but this ship makes a bit more sense because not only is Sannyo a dragon fangirl, Yachie even looks a lot like her pipe. In fact, if you used her tail with its length in Touhou 19 you could probably even stretch Yachie into its exact shape, plus a bonus shell.

(A pretty fun mental picture)

Anyway, the over analysis starts here

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Obligatory Disclaimer:

[Any Readers keep in mind, that even though I said you can think these up using canonical sources as a basis, that does not mean I'm claiming any of them are canonical relationships beyond possible friendships. There are also plenty of other ships that are possible with characters shes not likely to interact with that have just as much potential for cute dynamics]

Ships that can be thought up from the canonical sources.:

Well, first I'll do the ones from Lotus Eaters.

The easiest one to pick is definitely Mamizou. The entirety of Lotus Eaters Chapter 30 was more or less them having a fun and cheeky back and forth.

There is also Miyoi if you want to think of it that way since they are business partners and it's cute seeing her get both encouraged and picked on by Sannyo.

If you want to really be funny, and really stretch the imagination, you can joke about the Ponytailed Yamawaro with the surprising amount of screen time, since Sannyo helped her cool off when she was yelling, and more or less helped her when she was crying.

I mean look at that sad face

Those are the ones from Lotus Eaters.

Now Unconnected Marketeers gives us a few more things to build off of,

Sannyo has a funny back and forth with Sanae, and they both knew about each other before the incident, so that could be interesting.

(Though people can understandably find interactions with any protagonist to build off of if they see it that way)

The next one is since Sannyo lives at Heavens Shelf right beside rainbow dragon cave, Sannyo therefore lives very close by the dragon eater Momoyo too, which is definitely funny.

A surprisingly popular one is Sannyo with Misumaru, this one makes more sense then you might initially think, it comes from Sannyo's dialog implying she's been asked to keep humans out of rainbow dragon cave by someone. That person could only have been Misumaru. Idk how she'd have met her though. One particular artist really loves this ship

Misumaru doesn't technically live in the dragon cave but she definitely uses it sometimes and they both have some mentor energy going for them. My impression of Misumaru just from in game is she has some really proud but also no nonsense aspects to her personality. So it might be fun to see how she could interact with Sannyo.

For the same reason of being nearby, people could potentially ship her with Takane. She lives nearby the Yamawaro and they are both business ladies after all. I think the reason I haven't seen that one is Takane is a bit more hard professional and might not have as good of a back and forth with Sannyo. Especially when Takane has the far more obvious option of Nitori.

She lives nearby the Tengu too, so if someone decided that was enough to go on then they could ship her with any Tengu.

She even says "it's no wonder That Tengu has a high opinion of you" to Sanae.

[We can assume "That Tengu" is Megumu but people can definitely interpret that as someone else if they want. I think ive seen someone assume she was talking about Aya back during the Demo even]

Making it possible to have an argument for Megumu, Aya, Hatate, maybe even Momiji. But given Sannyo's : "you don't need to know about that......., actually i don't know either" flavor interactions with protagonists, it might be hilarious to see her interact with the Tengu.

Unfortunately there is no Sannyo x All Tengu picture to use so have the Megumu laugh Scene from Lotus Eaters:

Thats it for the ships you could extrapolate from UM interactions.

The last ship based on canon sources is Nemuno, they are different versions of the same Yokai species, Nemuno being a Yamanba, and Sannyo being a Yamajorou, a more outgoing version of the species. They both live in the mountains so it's possible for Sannyo to give her a visit if she wants, but Nemuno probably wouldn't travel too far personally.

In conclusion:

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Finally I'll actually list my favorites:

My favorite ship though is easily with Mamizou. Mamizou and Sannyo had some really fun interactions.

Despite generally not often thinking about Misumaru, I've seen so much cute art of this ship on Pixiv that it makes me kinda like it. They do have compatible personalities so I can't say it's unreasonable.

I feel like she could have potential with Megumu. A Daitengu might be above Sannyo's metaphorical pay grade, but it could be fun. And they apparently are on speaking terms. Plus, you can read Megumu Iizunamaru as Dragon, and thats fun.

[But that's a tough sell, Megumu already is pretty cute with Chimata, has Tsukasa Mythology, and that great running dragon joke with Momoyo]

I think the mental picture of stretching Yachie out into a pipe shape might have sold me on that ship just now too.

So anyway, that's what I came up with for favorites.

Sannyo x Yachie art by: stank

Nemuno fish art by :0-DEN

Nemuno soy sauce by: atoki

Mamizou x Sannyo art by Biyon

#touhou project #question response #sannyo komakusa #I appreciate Seiga though. She's funny and a useful character type. But it's definitely unusual seeing her shipped outside the Taoists #I really need to learn how to do a short post #I also think the Mike and Sannyo being buds stuff is cute but idk if I've seen the art used in a “ship” type way yet. Just friends so far #I'm actually surprised a Yuuka x Sannyo hasn't appeared. Since they both love flowers and are popularly gap-moe #Sannyo komakusa shipping

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