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mostlysignssomeportents · 11 months

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Dumping links like Galileo dumped the orange

Today (May 20) at 3:15PM, I’ll be at the GAITHERSBURG Book Festival with my novel Red Team Blues; then on Monday (May 22), I’m keynoting Public Knowledge’s Emerging Tech conference in DC.

On Tuesday (May 23), I’ll be in TORONTO for a book launch that’s part of WEPFest, a benefit for the West End Phoenix, onstage with Dave Bidini (The Rheostatics), Ron Diebert (Citizen Lab) and the whistleblower Dr Nancy Olivieri.

Welcome to my Saturday linkdump, the third in an occasional series that may or may not be restricted to Saturdays, but which will ever be a celebration of olde-timey linkblogging of the sort practiced by our blogfathers, blogmothers, and assorted other blogparents:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Any fule kno that Saturday is Caturday, and today’s woke felinism comes courtesy of Dr Eleanor Janega, the earthiest of all the Medivelist Bloggers, author of the superb Once and Future Sex, all about dirty dirty medieval people and their filthy filthy habits:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/17/ren-faire/#going-medieval

One of Janega’s winningest formulas is “Find a dopey thing about medieval people racing around social media and then set the ignorant straight in a world-beating, extremely well-informed rant.”

See, for example, “I assure you, medieval people bathed”:

https://going-medieval.com/2019/08/02/i-assure-you-medieval-people-bathed/

This week, Janega addresses herself to the burning question, “Did 14th C religious leaders label cats evil, precipitating a mass European cull of poor moggies?”

The answer, you will not be surprised to learn, is: “No.”

https://going-medieval.com/2023/05/16/on-cats/

Rather, medieval people — including those in the 14th century — just adored cats. That goes double for the religious leaders, as is evidenced by all the cats monks drew in the margins of religious manuscripts. Janega also reproduces painstakingly inked manuscripts crisscrossed by pawprints left by a cat that did the medieval version of walking back and forth over your keyboard while you’re trying to enter your password.

There’s also a manuscript with a large blotch that is labeled by a monk who identifies it as a piss-stain left behind by a cat (presumably a cat that wanted to go out and was tired of the monk not taking the walking-back-and-forth-over-the-manuscript hint).

In case there’s any doubt about how monks felt about cats, there’s a freaking adorable manuscript margin-doodle of cat in a little monk’s outfit. There’s doodles of cats with nuns, illustrations of cats hanging out with 14th century monks, and of course, drawings of working cats keeping down the rats in the barns and kitchens of the day.

As if that wasn’t enough, Janega closes with this banger: 14th century didn’t kill all their cats in a witch panic, because “witch panics are not a feature of medieval society”:

Indeed, medieval people didn’t really believe in the concept at all. Even in the fifteenth century when the Malleus Maleficarum, or Hammer of Witches, a witch-hunting guide was written it had to justify its very existence because no one believed that ol’ Heinrich Kramer was right about witches existing.

When people think that the Middle Ages is a place full of superstitious backwards religious fanatics it allows them to think they can just ignore over a thousand years of history because all you are going to see is disease and cat murder. This then allows stupid ideas like this to perpetuate and exacerbates the problem further. Suddenly the only people paying attention to medieval history are weirdo trad people who can bend the truth to suit their own aims, and baby, we cannot have that.

Happy caturday all, and especially to Dr Janega, may her quill never blunt.

Caturday — even a caturday about people being Very Wrong About Cats — is a reminder that the internet is often great, and not a cesspit of awful. Here is one way in which that is true: Mohit Bhoite builds tiny, perfect electronic sculptures that are both gorgeous little artworks and supremely functional exemplars of the hardware hacker’s noble art:

https://www.bhoite.com/sculptures/

Oh. My. God. These are so great. The tiny temperature monitor with the 7-seg digital display:

https://www.bhoite.com/sculptures/tiny-temp-monitor/

This stunning 7-seg counter:

https://www.bhoite.com/sculptures/seven-segment-counter/

This 555 Demux, with its delicate tracery of chassis and pins:

https://www.bhoite.com/sculptures/555-bcd-demux/

Each one a delightful morsel, made seemingly for the artist’s own pleasure and self-expression. I’m slightly disappointed that these aren’t for sale (because I want all of them), but even happier that these pure works of art, unsullied by commerce.

An important note about Bhoite’s sculptures is that they’re built on open source hardware, notably kits from Adafruit, often based on Arduinos and other open designs. This openness leads to “generativity,” the ability of follow-on creators and inventors to make new things based on existing things.

Generativity is the heart of the early explosive growth of the internet. From “view source” teaching millions of us to make the web to the LAMP stack (Linux, Apache, Mysql and python/perl) forming the substrate for billions of projects, the generative internet was — and is — the creative internet.

Despite a decade of energetic commons-enclosing, some of the staunchest bastions of openness and generativity continue to thrive, like Wikipedia, an encyclopedia that isn’t just “free as in beer,” it’s also “free as in speech” — free to mix and remix as you choose.

Here’s a whole passel of delightful Wikipedia-generated search tools, the Search Gizmos, a whole suite of special-purpose search tools that mine Wikipedia for informational goodies:

https://searchgizmos.com/

They’re the creation of Tara Calishain, and there are so many of them that’s it’s hard to choose just one to highlight, but I’m enormously fond of “Gossip Machine”:

A powerful tool that uses Wikipedia page views to surface potential “news days” in a given year for any topic with a Wikipedia page. By analyzing daily page views and flagging dates with significantly higher-than-average views, Gossip Machine provides you with pre-filled Google News and Google Web search links, taking you straight to valuable and insightful information about your chosen topic.

One of the bitter ironies of companies like Open AI is the co-opting of generativity for “Generative AI,” a set of products that could not be more unlike the generative projects of Bhoite or Calishain.

This kind of language game is a hallmark of every scam (not for nothing: Open AI isn’t open, and its product is neither artificial nor is it intelligent). As debates over “Generative AI” (which neither “generative,” nor “artificial,” etc, etc) rage, it’s worth revisiting how earlier debates about automation, creativity and appropriation played out.

This week in Clot Magazine, Estela Oliva interviews electronic music pioneers Jennifer Walshe and Jon “Wobbly” Leidecker (Negativland):

https://clotmag.com/interviews/jennifer-walshe-jon-leidecker-on-collaboration

The whole interview is great, but it really starts to smoke when Leidecker describes “Morover” a Negativland project built on samples of billionaires’ own fevered rants about AI:

With Negativland, we sample those CEO quotes directly — with Jennifer, those quotes also wind up in her notebooks, which she uses live as a source — it turns out CEO & EA musings make for an excellent libretto. Our deliverable is the ecosystem itself! Image diversity is more useful than photorealism! Sometimes the original sample is unbeatable, such as when Sam Altman’s voice falters when he says he feels terrible that AI is the reason his Rationalist friends have decided not to have kids. He thinks in the future, so many jobs will be lost to AI that our economy will be forced to come up with new solutions.

Later, Leidecker digs into the meat of the debate:

Electronic music has been dealing with issues of generative music and cybernetics since the 1940s, with Louis and Bebe Barron working out the creative potential of these new tools, making self-playing instruments capable of observing their own behaviour. I take the core questions faced by creative electronic musicians to involve issues of automation. What can be automated that points one in unheard musical directions?

Can networks involve more people, as opposed to replacing them? What new roles open up for humans once the old decisions are being handled? Electronic music has over 70 years’ worth of deeply moral and very creative responses to the issue of automation, and these patent-chasing corporations aren’t likely to bring up any of that work during their product demos. They need you to believe they invented this. But there’s a long and helpful history, and there’s still time to learn it.

These are the interesting discussions we could be having about these tools, if we could stop letting mediocre billionaire live rent-free in our heads as they hold flashlights under their chins and intone “Aaaaaaaay Eyeeeeeeee” in their spookiest voices. These guys are pumping their upcoming dump, and all the biggest disaster-stories are part of the scam: “AI will become sentient” and “AI will do your job as well as you” are both statements whose primary purpose is to increase the value of the stock in companies making “AI” technology (neither “artificial” nor you get the idea).

I mean, sure, our bosses will fire our asses and replace us with shell-scripts, but they don’t need working AI to do that — no more than they needed working voice response systems to replace human operators. They just enshittify their products and services, and do it under cover of chasing amazing new technology, and reap the stock gains bequeathed by keyword-drunk investors.

But the endless repetition of this vision of Fully Automated Austerity Pronatalist Space Neofeudalism gives people absolute brain-worms. The entire passive-income/rise-and-grind subculture has been convinced that they can use AI (neither etc etc) to make a fortune by…uh…generating plausible paragraphs.

Only problem: there’s no market for plausible paragraphs. The closest anyone comes is the tiny, low-dollar market for short science fiction and fantasy, which is pretty much the last bastion of paid short fiction markets. Now, these are amazing publications, and they do wonderful work, but they pay $0.01 to $0.25/word, and — more importantly — are edited by humans who sift through 1,000+ manuscripts per month looking for brilliant work to publish.

These editors are handily capable of distinguishing between extruded verbal slurry and actual short fiction, but the brain-worm bros are convinced that if they hammer these editors hard enough with enough algorithm-wrought word-salad, eventually, they’ll sell a “story” (netting a princely sum in the tens of dollars!).

This is objectively very stupid, but it’s also very terrible, because the human editors doing this labor of love are drowning in aishit. The most vocal among these LLM-blighted publishers is Neil Clarke, editor of the great Clarkesworld, who is waging a one-man war on spammy LLM submissions. His latest dispatch from the front lines (ominously titled “It continues…”) would be hacky sf, if it wasn’t real:

The one thing that is presently missing from the equation is integration with any of the existing AI detection tools. Despite their grand claims, we’ve found them to be stunningly unreliable, primitive, significantly overpriced, and easily outwitted by even the most basic of approaches.

http://neil-clarke.com/it-continues/

This is not the future we dreamt of. It’s been stolen from us by the brain-worms. Writing in Business Insider, the great Nathan Proctor describes how automation lets companies bring about the “death of ownership”:

https://www.businessinsider.com/companies-software-legal-tricks-subscriptions-customers-money-pay-death-ownership-2023-5

When your device won’t accept the ink you chose, or run the software you prefer, or let you repair it at the depot of your choosing (or even on your own kitchen table), do you really own it?

This is the theme of much of my work, of course, including my novella “Unauthorized Bread,” which performs the science-fictional trick of building a world around a single technical conceit to magnify and clarify the underlying issues:

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Proctor leads PIRG’s Right to Repair campaign, and he’s a comrade. He’s got these companies’ numbers and he’s a tireless fighter:

I believe in truth in advertising. If you’re going to sell somebody something, sell it to them. If you are going to lease something to somebody, lease it to them. If you tether their future purchases to a secret “agreement” that you baked into the technology that they don’t know about, that is deceptive. Not to mention, tinkering and fixing are American traditions. The ethos of “if it’s broke, then fix it” has other benefits, too. Repair teaches critical skills, it saves consumers money, it helps cut waste and product obsolescence. Tinkering and fixing also leads to product innovations that can benefit everyone.

Preach on, brother!

For ever tech bro who took cyberpunk dystopia as a suggestion, there are a dozen more who took it as a warning. Technologists like Micah Lee are on the front lines with Proctor and others. Lee was my colleague at EFF when Snowden contacted him privately, identifying himself as a would-be whistleblower who was trying to securely deliver a trove of US government leaks to some journalists who were struggling with the technology.

Now Lee is at the Freedom of the Press Foundation and The Intercept, and he’s working on a book: “Hacks, Leaks and Revelations,” is a practical manual for whistleblowers, reporters and investigators. Subtitled “The Art of Analyzing Hacked and Leaked Data,” it’s out in November:

https://nostarch.com/hacks-leaks-and-revelations

Meanwhile, Lee has put swathes of the book online for early perusal:

https://staging.hacksandleaks.com/introduction.html

This book isn’t a mere manifesto — it’s a manual, and it contains exercises for the reader to help them build a secure process for communicating and publishing in a way that protects sources.

Micah’s work is a reminder that the internet is made of people. Take the people away, all you’ve got is algorithms spamming each other (this is the plot of my short story, “When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth”):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/14/masque-of-the-red-death/#eschatology-watch

People matter. Everything people make — corporations, cities, workplaces, networks — only matter to the extent that they help people. Here’s a useful rule of thumb: when you’re trying to figure out whether a cause deserves your support, ask yourself, “Does this help people? Does it help more people than the alternative? Does it help people who need help?”

Asking that question made me a union man. That’s why I’ve been walking the WGA picket-lines in my neighborhood on my home-days while touring. It’s also why I cheered the dancers at LA’s Star Garden Topless Dive Bar when they became the first topless dancers in America to win recognition for their union:

https://apnews.com/article/strippers-union-los-angeles-star-garden-4069df93b149076dc2e23a0bff16438b

The Star Garden workers are organized under the Actors’ Equity Association, the same union I wrote a check to when I paid Wil Wheaton to record the audiobook of Red Team Blues (Wil’s a union man, too:)

https://www.tvinsider.com/1093201/jeopardy-wil-wheaton-ken-jennings-writers-strike/

There’s been a lot of “ha ha the strippers unionized ha ha” nonsense in response to this news, but fuck that. Sex work is work. These are workers. They work in a field that is physically demanding, potentially dangerous, and rife with exploitative practices. Damned right they need a union. Go, sisters, go!

People who think they understand ironic laughter because they made a snotty remark about a stripper’s union are absolute amateurs. To see how it’s done, check out The Onion, a publication that is consistently pretty funny, but also reliably screamingly, viciously, incredibly funny, especially about the things that hurt the most.

The canonical example of this, of course, is The Onion’s first issue after the 9/11 attacks, headlined “HOLY FUCKING SHIT” and containing such articles as “Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake”:

https://www.wired.com/2001/09/onions-bitter-tears-of-irony/

The Onion continues to be America’s leading ha-ha-only-serious forum, serving, somehow, as both escape valve and flame-fanner for the nation’s bitterest ailments. For years, they’ve run their “‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens” headline after every major mass shooting:

https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1819576527

But as America continues to record multiple, daily, mass shootings, The Onion’s writers needed something else. Yesterday, they ran “Americans Describe What It’s Like Surviving A Mass Shooting,” and oh shit is it a doozy:

https://www.theonion.com/surviving-a-mass-shooting-americans-describe-what-it-s-1850438794

“It makes you really appreciate how free we are as a country when you’re hiding under a desk with bullets flying over your head.”

“Those 15 minutes standing a safe distance away from the school while the suspect finished shooting were the most harrowing of my life.” (picture of a cop)

“There’s nothing like a brush with death to remind you that all your previously held beliefs are correct and should not be questioned.” (Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA))

“My boss let me use one of my three unpaid sick days to get sewed up.”

“Only two of my three kids came home from school, but Texas has no property taxes, so it’s a wash.”

I mean.

Shit.

The new Gilded American Age is already looking a little tarnished. The unholy alliance between the infinite greed of the capital classes and the sadistic indifference of the terrified, authoritarian, musket-fucking Bible-bashers has us racing for the precipice.

It’s wild to see the parties fiddle while the Shining City on the Hill burns. I think we all expect it of the Republicans, but watching the Democrats fail working people and continue to climb into bed with the ultra-wealthy and their priorities is demoralizing, especially for those of us hoping for more from the party of the New Deal.

There’s been a lot of ink spilled on the Trump transformation of the GOP, but Dems’ transformation from a party representing labor to a party representing McKinsey consultants is less well understood.

A new book, Left Behind: The Democrats’ Failed Attempt to Solve Inequality, by Lily Geismer, tells that story:

https://www.publicaffairsbooks.com/titles/lily-geismer/left-behind/9781541757004/

Left Behind gets a fascinating review by Ruby Ray Daily in Public Books, where it is contrasted with Partisans: The Conservative Revolutionaries Who Remade American Politics in the 1990s by Nicole Hemmer:

https://www.publicbooks.org/what-the-1990s-did-to-america/

Both books grapple with way that the end of the Cold War and the Reagan era transformed both major US parties. In Hemmer’s telling, Reagan wasn’t the “dawn of the free-market conservative,” but rather, the “late summer” of that brand of conservativism. Without “anticommunism” to animate it, the Reagan Right coalition thrashed in a void, eventually gelling into today’s “nativism, racial resentment, and media hysteria.”

Meanwhile, the Dems under Clinton turned their backs on state-backed programs and towards market-based initiatives, making today’s “lopsided, unfair economic gains” inevitable. The Atari Democrats of the Clinton years were — in the words of one bitter union organizer — “crypto-Republicans.”

Clinton isn’t the Democrats’ Eisenhower (“accommodating his party to, and sanding the radical edges off, a new consensus”). He’s the Democrats’ Reagan, “shaping and even leading this new market-oriented consensus.”

For Geismer, Clinton wasn’t simply jettisoning the New Deal — rather, he was embracing its technocratic, expertise-worshiping aspect. It was this tendency that produced Clinton’s ghastly “welfare reform” and other attacks on working people. It’s a stark reminder that ideology without a moral center sows the seeds of its own ruin.

Meanwhile, we live today in the Atari Democrats’ world, where wealthy professionals play a high-speed game of musical chairs for the few remaining opportunities to survive the coming polycrisis with intact shelter, food and comfort. One way this plays out is in the surreal, vicious fights over college admissions.

It’s only been a minute since the Varsity Blues scandal erupted: wealthy parents (including some celebrities) bribed college officials to pretend that nepobabies and failsons were elite athletes, letting them ooze into top college slots reserved for sports prodigies (slots that often represent the only chance for poor teens of color to enter these universities):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varsity_Blues_scandal

The scandal touched a nerve, perhaps because it punctured the already-fragile bubble of pretense that top colleges were full of the smartest kids in America — rather than, say, the kids whose parents attended those institutions (“legacies”), or made giant donations, or were coached and polished by tutors and consultants.

Well, there’s never just one ant. Varsity Blues wasn’t the only way for rich, status-obsessed parents to buy their kids’ way into college. The latest rot exposed is a doozy of a scam: parents pay academics to pretend to collaborate with high-schoolers so they can put their names on papers published in peer-reviewed journals:

https://www.propublica.org/article/college-high-school-research-peer-review-publications

The story was broken last week by Dan Golden for Propublica and The Chronicle of Higher Education, in a long-read that details all the variations on this scam. For example, sometimes the kid does actually do some original research, but the “journal” is a fake outlet run by the “service” that connects academics and kids.

Bottom line is it works: college admissions officers are deluged with applications and don’t have time to look up the “peer reviewed” publications claimed by applicants. Faculty don’t have the time or inclination to do it either. The stakes are incredibly high, the costs are very high, and the institutions that do the evaluations are weak afterthoughts.

I wonder if we won’t just eventually give up and admit that a degree from a Big Ten or an Ivy is just a thing you buy, like a Picasso or a blood diamond. We could just turn it into a half million dollar blue tick and have done with it.

Anyway.

Hate to end this linkdump on a down-note, but there you have it. Next time I do one of these, I’ll try to remember to hold back one of the upbeat links for a palate cleanser.

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/20/the-missing-links/#plunderphonics

[Image ID: A pot of chunky chicken and vegetable stew.]

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blowflyfag · 3 months

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WRESTLING SCENE Presents RINGSIDE : November 1983

ADRIAN STREET: Not Just Another Pretty Face

“The Exotic One,” Adrian Street has been a sensation since arriving in America. The man with the wild look has proven to be not just another pretty face.

By Jack O’Shea

It’s often been said that looks can be deceiving and this expression certainly fits “The Exotic One,” Adrian Street. When his well coiffeured locks and his impeccable clothes and make-up, one just would never get the impression that “The Exotic One” competes in the rough and tough world of professional wrestling. But after seeing this sensation in action one can easily see that he is indeed a very good professional wrestler.

Street has held the Middleweight Championship of Europe, The Lightheavyweight championship of Europe and the European Tag Team championship while competing in the “Motherland.” After literally controlling Europe Adrian Street decided to take his act to the United States and the “Exotic One” has been the talk of the country ever since.

[The Exotic One, Adrian Street, looks in his mirror admiringly.]

“I felt it was about time to let the world in on my fabulous talents,” Adrian confessed while sunning himself in Florida. “For so long I had been the toast of England and I knew that it was time to conquer America. Every since I’ve been here I have taken the world by storm. First I conquered California. There I won the Americas title and the Americas tag team title with the equally fabulous Timothy Flowers III. Then I traveled to Tennessee, and boy oh boy, did i drive those country folks wild! While there I did quite a bit of bodily harm on the superstiff, Bill Dundee. From there I traveled to Florida and as you can see I have once again taken over. If you still have any doubts, first check Dusty Rhodes’ scalp. In my trophy room I have a nice lock of his hair That will show him not to mess with Adrian Street.

[Adrian Street makes his way to the ring followed by J.J. Dillion.

Adrian Street sends Barry Windham reeling.]

It seems that not only Dusty Rhodes but also Blackjack Mulligan, Barry Windham, and Mike Graham have been waging war against the “Exotic One.” To help him combat these forces of “evil,” Adrian’s manager, J.J. Dillion, hired Elijah Akeem to keep his eye on Adrian. Akeem is Adrian Street’s personal bodyguard. He escorts the “Exotic One” to the ring and is always around in case someone might try to ruffle Adrian’s hair or cause any other serious problems. Since Akeem has joined Adrian’s entourage, not too many people have been messing around with the “Exotic One.” Who would have when you have a 6’6”, 320 pound brute ready to hump in at the first outbreak of trouble.

[Elijah Ajeem removed the handcuffs from Adrian Street as Miss Linda stands by.]

But who is Elijah Akeem and how did he get to be Adrian Street’s personal bodyguard? Dusty Rhodes has the answer: “Can you imagine what the boys on the south side of Chicaho are saying today about old Leroy Brown? Just because J.J. Dillion done bought him some funk jewelry and stuffed him in a three piece suit don’t change him one bit. Mr. Elijah Akeem is still the same old jive turkey that he was the day they found him in a pool hall in Chicago only today Sweet Adrian has helped him come out of the closet.”

[Adrian Street shows off his physique.

Adrian Street grabs Barry Windham around the neck and pounds away.]

Besides Dillion and Akeem, there is yet another pretty face in Adrian Street’s entourage and she’s known as Miss Linda. Actually, Miss Linda has been with Adrian Street since his days in merry old England. Although the two aren’t linked romantically, Miss Linda has been his constant companion for quite a number of years. “Adrian is a very warm, kind hearted and understanding person,” Miss Linda said recently. “He never mistreats or abuses me and he is very generous and considerate too. I feel that it is an honor and privilege to serve him. I help him prepare for his match, accompany him to the ring and assist in removing his outer garments. Once the matches are complete, I see to it that his wardrobe is in order and all of his basic needs are taken care of.” It sounds as if everyone could use the kind of assistance that Miss Linda supplies.

Actually Rhodes, Mulligan, Windham and Graham even appear to be a little jealous over all of the attention that Miss Linda gives to Adrian. “I just can’t see what Miss Linda is doing wasting her valuable time with a stiff like that,” Dusty lamented. “She should be going around with a real man. I could take her to the best little honky tonks this side of the Rio Grande and show her how to have real good time, Texas style, if you know what I mean.”

[“The Exotic One” grabs Terry Allen by the head.]

But Miss Linda has no plans of leaving her man and taking up with anybody, especially Dusty Rhodes. “In all of our travels,” Miss Linda stated, “I’ve never run across anyone as rough or as crude as your American Dream. If that’s the way all Americans act then I surely can see why so many American women go wild for our English rock-n-roll stars.” Poor old Dusty will just have to clean up his act before he could ever stand half a chance with Miss Linda.

[“The Exotic One,” Adrian Street in all his splendor.]

“Right now I feel that I am slumming,” Adrian confessed. “This time of year I’m usually on the south of France enjoying the good life. This is what I am accustomed to, not your run of the mill five and dime stores, your Seven-Elevens and these tacky Taco Bells. Before coming to America I had no idea whatsoever that this country was so backwards. My stay here has totally been an education for me. I know now how the other half lives and it’s sad to say but I actually feel sorry for the hayseed cowboys like Blackjack Mulligan, Barry Windham, Dusty Rhodes and Ron Bass. These people do not know what the good life is all about! They know nothing at all about the theater, the arts, museums, shows, concerts, ballets, recital halls. These merely are some of the things that people with culture learn at a young age in England. This is part of our upbringing, part of our way of life and from what I’ve seen of America it is sorely lacking in cultural events such as these.“

Whenever anyone talks about Adrian Street the only thing that is mentioned is his exotic “look.” Very rarely does anyone ever mention his wrestling ability. Actually, Adrian Street is a very good wrestler. He has a sound fundamental approach to the sport and if you look behind his wild get-up you just may see that Adrian Street is a remarkable wrestler, “I learned the sport is wrestling at an early age,” Adrian confessed. “Wrestling is an art and I am an artist. I know how to preform every move imaginable and then some. I have so many pinning techniques at my disposal that you just never know what to expect next from me when I go stepping through these ropes. I expect to be in America for a very long time, and fans across the country be on the lookout for the Exotic One for soon I will appear in your area too!”

From what we have see if Adrian Street since his arrival in America, it is definite that the man is leaving his mark on the wrestling scene. With his fantastic move and wild mannerisms Adrian Street has proven to be a tremendous athlete, not just another pretty face.

#im sorry about the quality of these but jesus christ they would not scan for the life for me #i feel bad but theres not much i can do #adrian street #magazine scan #magazine transcript

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jventureart · 4 months

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People I'd like to know better!

@ficklecat tagged me in this fun thing :) i'm very flattered to even cross your mind!

Last song: Shit - Bo Burnham

Favourite colour: Violently hot pink, eye-burning tier, this range vvv

Currently watching: Naurto war arc again because who needs a personality when i can just watch that over & over again JJK & Criminal Lawyer Reacts lol

Last movie/tv show: I just caught up on JJK & I'm thinking about Tojo A Lot. He's perfect. Perfect son, treasure him forever.

Spicy/savoury/sweet: Spicy, I've destroyed my life & cannot enjoy normal flavor ranges. if shit isn't spicy, strong, or bitter (glowing an evil red from the amount of spice, stout beers, black coffee, ect), it's not my favorite. idk, i wish i didnt do this to myself lmao I don't like sweet things very much at all.

Relationship status: Married to Local Kakashi PFP @doktorventure for like a long time now wowee (11 years this month, bananas) He's likes enough sweet shit for the both of us tho, taking one for the team (He is the one on the left, I am the one who refuses to have photos taken of my face :) but the arcade cabinet had our name on it so i caved lmao also this photo is old as fuck ash has his throat tattooed now, it's weird seeing it naked)

Current obsession: eheheh (it's naruto & it wont let me go please someone call my mom i want to go home)

Last thing you googled: The train that runs in the town I was born in to show my European friend how useless TX infrastructure is :) We had a good laugh

Tagging: eheheing once again because I want to know everyone but I am not brave enough to tag people

Feel free to ask me more things about myself & I'll answer to the best of my ability :3

#thank you for the tag!!#tag game #ficklecat #ill post the illustration that nart is from soon #probably #it's been done for a few days im just not sold on it #doktorventure #i hope adding photos isnt annoying #im just a very visual person i guess & it felt right

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aicommandhub · 2 months

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AI Black Box Under Siege: Researchers Revolt for AI Transparency

AI Transparency Battle Royale! Over 100 top AI researchers are throwing down the gauntlet, demanding AI transparency from tech giants like OpenAI and Meta. In a scorching open letter, they accuse these companies of hindering independent research with their restrictive rules. The argument? These supposedly "safe" protocols are actually stifling the very investigations needed to ensure these powerful AI systems are used responsibly! This isn't just academic whining. Researchers are worried that strict protocols meant to catch bad actors are instead silencing vital research. Independent investigators are terrified of account bans or even lawsuits if they dare to stress-test AI models without a company's blessing. It's like trying to warn people about a dangerous product, only to get sued by the manufacturer for hurting their reputation. “Generative AI companies should avoid repeating the mistakes of social media platforms, many of which have effectively banned types of research aimed at holding them accountable,”Authors of the letterTweet Who's Leading the Charge? A League of Extraordinary AI Watchdogs This isn't just a bunch of disgruntled researchers. This open letter is backed by a who's-who of AI experts, journalists, policymakers, and even a former European Parliament member. Let's break down the heavy hitters: - AI All-Stars: Think top minds from places like Stanford University, with names like Percy Liang gracing the letter. These are the folks who build the algorithms, not just theorize about them. - Investigative Journalists: Pulitzer Prize winners like Julia Angwin, famous for exposing tech's hidden biases, are signing on. They're not afraid to dig deep and uncover the flaws these shiny new AI tools might be hiding. - Policy Powerhouses: People like Renée DiResta from the Stanford Internet Observatory, who study the impact of AI on society, are demanding a seat at the table. They want to make sure these tools aren't used to manipulate elections or deepen inequalities. - Global Perspective: Marietje Schaake, a former member of European Parliament, adds international clout. This isn't just a US issue; the potential misuse of AI affects everyone and demands global solutions. Break Free Of Big Tech Control This rag-tag team of code-slingers, truth-seekers, and policy wonks might not wear capes, but they're fighting to ensure that AI serves the public interest, not just corporate profits. Tech Giants: Turning into the Evil Empires They Swore to Destroy? The letter throws some serious shade, accusing AI companies of emulating the secrecy that plagued early social media platforms. The examples are downright chilling: from OpenAI crying "hacker!" over copyright checks to Midjourney threatening artists with legal action The Midjourney saga is a prime example of how paranoid AI companies are getting. Artist Reid Southen dared to test if the image generator could be used to rip off copyrighted characters, and what did he get? Banned! Midjourney even went full-on drama queen in their terms of service, threatening lawsuits over copyright claims. Talk about an overreaction! This is just one example in a growing pattern – tech companies are clutching their precious algorithms, terrified of anyone peeking behind the curtain to find out what their AI creations are really up to. “If You knowingly infringe someone else’s intellectual property, and that costs us money, we’re going to come find You and collect that money from You,” Read the terms here “We might also do other stuff, like try to get a court to make You pay our legal fees. Don’t do it.”MidJourneyTweet The Battle for AI Transparency: Researchers vs. Corporate Control This is more than just disgruntled academics versus big tech. It's a clash of ideologies with the future of AI at stake. On one side, researchers are demanding open access and safeguards to protect us from biased or harmful AI. On the other, tech giants are clinging to control, treating potential misuse like it's some far-fetched sci-fi dystopia instead of a very real risk that needs serious scrutiny. Read the full article

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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Keeping my fingers crossed for that Black Widow meta

Aha, okay. As usual, I am ludicrously easy to enable, so let's take a crack at this. The ask obviously contains SPOILERS for the Black Widow film (and is also tagged "black widow spoilers" if you're planning to filter), and discussion/reference to other films/properties in the MCU, though I don't feel like any of those are still a secret.

Anyway, as I said in my earlier post, I can't believe I am actually still trying to critically analyse a Marvel production in the year of our Lord 2021, but then, I feel like we all have a complicated relationship with it. Likewise, the feeling of "oh wow NOW you're giving Natasha a solo movie after you killed her off in a cheap and fairly sexist way in Endgame?" If this film had come out ten or even five years ago, it would have been major, but holding it off until now seems to have left most of us justifiably unimpressed. Plus, as I am absolutely not the first person to point out, it renders Natasha's sacrifice in Endgame "because I don't have a family" even more narratively incoherent. I realize that this film was written after that one by totally different people, there's no point in expecting the MCU to make consistent canonical sense throughout its eighty billion different films/series, we were all stuck with a mess after the Whedonified Age of Ultron Nat, and so forth, but still. Natasha explicitly SAYS that she has two families (her wacky Russian found family of spies and the Avengers) and her decision to leap off the cliff in Endgame to save Clint and his retconned perfect white heterosexual nuclear family.... Hmmmm. To which I say to you, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb at Male Writers, sir.

Likewise, while I am wildly attracted to Florence Pugh as Yelena and deeply desire to be wrapped between her thighs, the movie felt more like her story than Nat's. Yelena drove most of the plot and the action, while Nat was just kind of along for the ride. As a solo piece, we really didn't learn that much about Natasha aside from the opening scene (which felt like it was straight out of The Americans and probably worked the best of the whole film for the reason) with her childhood in America. But even the infamous "what happened in Budapest" backstory with her and Clint was quickly info-dumped rather than shown, and they could have taken more narrative risks or included more flashbacks or otherwise given us more NATASHA, y'know??? Instead of cramming the film into the small space between Civil War and Infinity War and making it even weirder that Nat seemingly has no memory or reference to these events when she returns to the team at that time. Why not show her looking for Yelena or her actual defection to the Avengers or anything else we might want from a film that purportedly exists entirely to provide backstory for a now-dead character? It felt like even in the film universe, the main quest was being repeated -- she tried to kill Baddie McSoviet once before and it didn't work out, so she has to do it again, something something. Okay.

As for that, good ol' Marvel and its American Superiority TM. The only actual Eastern European actress in this film about Eastern Europeans was Antonia/Taskmaster, played by the Ukrainian Olga Kurylenko (and I was very interested in her?? If she's supposed to be a narrative foil and a ghost of Nat's past and mark of her former sins, etc., why not develop her as an actual character?) Everyone else were Brits and Americans hamming it up with even more chew-the-scenery fake Russian accents than Elizabeth Olsen's "Sokovian" accent as Scarlet Witch. If it's established that they all have perfect American accents at the start of the movie, why is Nat the only American-accented character in the modern day if she had presumably the exact same childhood as Yelena? I know it's another way to set her apart, but that and Baddie McSoviet (the Russians are finding a way to steal free will from people's brains! Zomgz!!! Is this 2021 or 1981?) were straight out of the Cold War in terms of its not-so-veiled American Supremacy Message. Likewise, making modern!Natasha a former KGB agent never really made sense, since she says in Winter Soldier that she was born in 1984, and we see her in this film as an 11-year-old in 1995. But the USSR collapsed in 1991, when she was seven, and the Red Room appears to be an entirely unrelated flying....lab....thingy run by a generic evil Russian (Ray Winstone, likewise Hamming Up Accent). So like. What is she, guys?? Make up your minds!!!

Likewise, Baddie McSoviet/Dreykov as a villain obviously plays into the hoary old Hollywood "All Bad People Are Recognizable As Being Terrible Sexists and Also Probably Russians" trope, but aside from that, he doesn't make sense. He has this entire army of basically unstoppable Widows and he has just been.... waiting around and causing random explosions? Or was just waiting for Nat and company to return so he could Put His Evil Plan Into Motion? Are we really supposed to believe that this guy has just been sitting up in his flying saucer and essentially never doing anything this whole time? He had about a million chances to launch this take-over-the-world plan long before Natasha ever got there. Plus, I.... am.... not sure what to think (aside from /deep sigh/ MARVEL) about the fact that all the Widows we see dying/getting killed on screen are women of color. (Then the Black surgeon who was about to remove Yelena's brain in the Red Room and the only other Black guy being Natasha's errand boy, which just... in context... YIKES.) I think the fact that there are random Black background Widows are supposed to mean that they're inclusive and badass or something? Scarlett Johansson also has her own issues with White Feminism and all the other things we've critiqued her for before, so after TFATWS and the Flag Smashers, Marvel clearly has found its subtly racist sweet spot. As usual?

The end of the film also just basically turns into the standard Marvel empty-spectacle/cool-looking fights/people flying through the air thing, and I wanted a lot more focus on the wacky found-family Russian-spy hijinks (I did love them, for reasons) and character dynamics, rather than all of them separately fighting baddies in different places. I did obviously have feelings about Natasha putting the parachute on Yelena to save her life. But why were we then denied Nat/Gamora parallels/relationships/any character development or interaction at all in Infinity War/Endgame? Both of them are trained assassins adopted into a non-biological family that they have a complicated relationship with, but end up forging a strong bond with their sister (Yelena/Nebula) nonetheless. Of course, that would have required Endgame to put more effort into its female characters than what it did, which was one (1) Epic CGI Charge Scene at the very end, and literally nothing else. Not that I am still salty about this or anything.

Anyway. The movie was genuinely fun in places. The wacky Russian found family of spies was definitely the best part, even if it made Endgame even more nonsensical as a result. But I wanted this movie to be a lot better than it was overall, though I probably would have liked it more if it had actually come out in a timely fashion and wasn't only released after they killed her off. It just feels like there were so many possible threads of potential that could have been done with Natasha if they were actually interested in experimenting and exploring the character and not just coming up with new baddies and ways to go boom, and it unfortunately missed the mark with that.

#anonymous #ask #black widow #black widow spoilers #mcu #long post

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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15 Best Resident Evil Bosses and Monsters Ranked

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You don’t go 25 years with a name like Resident Evil without introducing a good mix of macabre monsters primed to haunt the nightmares of players everywhere. At their best, these frightening beasties make you want to run away and hide, challenging you to use your limited resources wisely while trying to survive the night. Even at their worst, any Resident Evil monster worth its weight in viscera will still have you gawping at just how disgusting it appears. Eugh!

With the release of Resident Evil Village and the arrival of nine-foot-tall vampire Lady Dimitrescu, we thought it worth ranking the 15 scariest monsters in Resident Evil history. That’s right – not even a top 10 would be good enough to do the creatures of Capcom’s iconic survival horror franchise justice.

15. Ustanak – Resident Evil 6

Resident Evil’s much maligned sixth entry has a lot of problems, we’ll admit, but one area where it does succeed is in its litany of boss fights. While the game features four interconnected campaigns with plenty of unique enemies, Ustanak breaks away from the crowded roster of other monsters thanks to his relentless pursuing of Jake Muller and appearance (however brief) in almost all of the featured storylines. As far as bioweapons go, he’s also one of the most mean-looking, boasting a tank-like physique and threatening mechanical claw.

You’ll fight Ustanak multiple times as part of Jake’s Resident Evil 6 campaign, first within a wintery Eastern European town as he clambers from chopper to chopper to get to you, then as part of a team-up with Leon in a shipment yard, before eventually finishing him off in a fist fight as boiling lava bubbles below you. Very much following the Nemesis template of growing persistently stronger, Ustanak is easily one of the redeeming elements of Resident Evil 6’s overt bloat.

14. Comms Officer/Scaghead – Resident Evil: Revelations

The mutated Comms Officer in spin-off title Revelations is one of the first major hurdles you come across. After learning that Chris isn’t aboard the Queen Zenobia, Jill is forced to venture into the bowels of the cruise ship, and this oversized piece of sludge is the only thing standing in your way. Taking down this two-headed behemoth involves getting him close to the various gas cylinders littered around and firing, all while keeping his many ghoulish minions at bay.

The comms officer’s human half is where the monster is at its weakest, so by placing a few well-timed sniper shots in this area players shouldn’t have too much trouble. Even still, only having a limited number of windows to jump through and tight passages to go down makes him a real problem early on. That’s why it pays to be patient (as well as smart) with this lumbering mass of goo.

13. Regenerador – Resident Evil 4

Capable of regrowing any limbs you shoot off with relative ease, the first time you encounter a regenerador in Resident Evil 4 is easily one of the adventure’s scariest moments. Though Leon is by this point well-equipped, and without Ashley as his tag-a-long helper, these sludgy beings are still quite the challenge, as they continue chasing you unless you equip your thermal vision and target their specific weakness points.

An enhanced version of the Regenerador greets you a little later in the form of an Iron Maiden. This hellish creature would enjoy nothing more than to hug Leon and impale him on the long nails that protrude from its flesh. You have to be sure to not get to close and maintain your distance, all while targeting the leech-like Las Plagas cells scattered all over its body to make it out safely.

12. Executioner – Resident Evil 5

It may have been the entry that saw the series swerve fully into action blockbuster territory, yet Resident Evil 5 also features some extremely unsettling monsters that still haunt us to this day. One of the first you come across are the handful of executioners who look and act exactly as their name would suggest. These immense figures have pins sticking out of their arms and wield a deadly axe, one swing of which is enough to turn Chris and Sheva into nothing but jam.

The executioners pose a real problem early on in Resident Evil 5’s campaign, as your weapons are severely underpowered, and you’re only given limited space in which to lead them around. Hold out for long enough, though, and you’ll manage to avoid the edge of their blade, only to encounter a more imposing version of them later on in the Desperate Escape DLC. It’s here where their axe is now laden in flames and primed to roast your skin.

11. Licker – Resident Evil 2

Arguably not just one of the scariest but also one of the most iconic monster designs to come out of Resident Evil, lickers are known for their ability to move fast, climb walls, and trip players up using their incredibly far-reaching tongue. The lickers’ one weakness is lack of sight, which Leon and Claire are wise to take advantage of when exploring the zombie-infested R.P.D building. Sometimes, however, these brain-exposed mutants are simply impossible to avoid, forcing you to outwit them and stay at a distance.

Believe it or not, lickers are thought to be an advanced form of zombie. These particular subjects were designed to be even deadlier bioweapons. We’d say they succeeded. While lickers are easily dealt with in most of the games (provided you know what you’re doing), their arrival is always unsettling since you need to remain quiet, often while trying to contend with other undead threats.

10. Lisa Trevor – Resident Evil

Altering an existing game’s story or structure is always a tricky prospect. On the one hand, you want to be true to what fans know, yet at the same time sprinkle in a few surprises. This was the case with Lisa Trevor’s debut appearance in the 2002 remake of the first Resident Evil game. She isn’t just a ho-hum boss fight, but rather a fully formed character with a surprisingly sad back story that involves her being experimented on by Umbrella for at least 20 years.

Lisa Trevor’s animal-like posture and distorted appearance is a result of this constant testing, which makes having to slay her alongside a true series villain (Albert Wesker) all the more heart breaking. The encounter itself may be relatively straightforward, but hearing Lisa wail and cry out as you’re forced to pump rounds into her is genuinely unsettling. Lisa Trevor is a welcome addition to the original Resident Evil’s canon, not least due to how terrifying her circumstances are.

9. Dr. Salvador – Resident Evil 4

What makes Dr. Salvador from Resident Evil 4 even scarier than he looks is the fact he’s not even a boss. No, all this relentless, bag-wearing maniac needs to try and keep Leon Kennedy at bay is a thirst for blood and a ripping chainsaw primed to rip our protagonist to shreds. He’s surprisingly fast and nimble in spite of his wide-set frame, which makes for a deadly combination when you’ve just heard the rumble of his tool-turned-weapon from a distance and are trying to get an accurate lock on him.

Typical handgun bullets will do very little to stop the swing of Dr. Salvador’s chainsaw. Instead, your best bet is to barrage him with shotgun shells or attempt a stun with a flash grenade. Either way, every die-hard Resident Evil fan remembers where they were the first time they heard the grinding of a metal chain so soon after entering Resident Evil 4’s Spanish village.

8. Cerberus – Resident Evil

Dogs have always played a huge role in Resident Evil, but most players will never forget the first time they smashed onto the screen. Slowly traversing down an innocent hallway of the Spencer Mansion in the original Resident Evil, the unsettling silence is suddenly disrupted by the sound of windows shattering and what appears to be two undead Dobermans. They are, in fact, four-legged monsters known in canon as Cerberuses – bio-organic weapons infected by the T-virus strain.

These doggos are far from the good boys you first expect them to be, leaving a mark on your mind as well as the hallway floor thanks to the amount of blood they drip. Their introduction kicked off the classic Resident Evil tradition of having to take down zombie canines quickly. If you don’t, they’ll continue to pursue you around most corridors or until you can bide your time in the nearest safe room. Cerberus dogs are living proof that no mammal is safe from Umbrella’s experiments.

7. Nosferatu – Resident Evil Code: Veronica

Code: Veronica often gets forgotten about as far as Resident Evil games go. This is a shame considering its host to two of the most merciless franchise villains in siblings Alexander and Alexia Ashford. What makes them so monstrous? Possibly their willingness to experiment on their own father, eventually transforming him into the near unkillable monster known as Nosferatu. Strung up, blinded, and suffering from a gaping hole in the chest, he serves as one of Code: Veronica’s most nightmarish monsters and boss fights.

Nosferatu is another Resident Evil monster with a deep and disturbing back story, which makes fighting him even creepier. After whipping Claire whips her partner Steve Burnside away to one side, she faces Nosferatu on a wintery helipad without much visibility. It may be fairly obvious where his weak spot is, but you’ll quite literally need to play it cool to pump enough rounds in.

6. Deborah Harper – Resident Evil 6

Bombing it through the underground cavern in a minecart while trying to avoid the clutches of Helena’s gloopy sister is one of Resident Evil 6’s best sequences. At first it seems like you may have rescued Deborah in time, but it isn’t long until Leon and his partner discover she’s already been subjected to the C-virus, causing her to catch alight before birthing a more monstrous version of herself from out of her own back.

If this imagery alone isn’t enough to make you fear Deborah, just wait until she comes at you with her four whip-like tentacles. First you face her head-on while trying not to get repeatedly lashed as the caverns crumble around you, before gunning at her from the back of a racing minecart as mentioned. The fight culminates once you hit a ridge and squeaky Deborah is forced to fall to her death. For a short while there, though, this gruesome bioweapon gets close to giving Leon and Helena the kiss of death.

5. Queen Leech – Resident Evil 0

Don’t be fooled by how regal the monster known as Queen Leech looks in human form. By the time Billy and Sherry come across her in Resident Evil Zero, she’s increased in height, gained multiple flaps, and sports a face full of enough teeth to finish you in one bite. This boss fight serves as the climax of this prequel adventure, and as such she chases you throughout multiple areas.

She’s one of the scariest Resident Evil monsters due to her disgusting final form, coupled with her ability to control loads of smaller leeches, too. Players with a hatred of slithery creatures are sure to find her disgusting.

4. Marguerite Baker – Resident Evil 7

Almost any member of Resident Evil 7’s Baker family would have been a good choice for this list, but we had to pick Marguerite due to how distinctly spooky your boss encounter with her is. Not only has she grown abnormally long limbs by the time you take her on in an abandoned outhouse but the majority of the fight also takes place in the dark. This makes your attempt to burn her all the more unnerving since she’s prone to sneak up on you and strike.

Players will likely have already developed a deep hatred for Marguerite even before this fight, though, due to the handful Metal Gear Solid-esque missions where you’re forced to sneak past her as Mia. However, all bets are off by the time you face her as Ethan. It’s just a simple case of knowing where to look and what nooks she may pop out of. Sending both Marguerite and her army of insects to Hell is satisfyingly tense and a good showcase of Resident Evil 7’s more claustrophobic first-person perspective.

3. G-virus William Birkin – Resident Evil 2 Remake

The mutated version of William Birkin already looked grotesque in Resident Evil 2 on PlayStation One, but Capcom outdid itself when returning to the character for the 2019 remake. Transformed into a ghoulish monstrosity as a result of injecting himself with the G-Virus strain, Birkin constantly cries out in pain to his wife and daughter as players concentrate fire on the gaping eye bulging out of his right-side shoulder. This final hint of humanity makes fighting him feel devastating.

Dr. Birkin loses more control of himself as the Resident Evil 2 campaign barrels towards its end, eventually transforming into a wall-crawling mass of daggers that tries to tear your head off. His pursuit of Leon and Claire eventually leads to his downfall, however, after his attempt to derail the train escaping Raccoon City is thwarted by a few pokes. Still, Birkin goes down as one of the gooiest monsters in Resident Evil history.

2. Nemesis – Resident Evil 3

Resident Evil’s original hulking stalker is still one of the scariest. First appearing in the original PS One version of Resident Evil 3 before being slightly modernized for last year’s remake, Nemesis is a massive pain the ass for ex-S.T.A.R.S member Jill Valentine because he just doesn’t stop and can appear unannounced at almost any time. His Terminator-like determination to pursue means that you’re never safe when exploring the streets of Racoon City.

Nemesis is easily recognisable by his missing lips and stitched-together skull, both of which result in a face that only a mother could love. He becomes more deformed the longer Resident Evil 3’s campaign progresses, too, making each fight feel scarier than the last. Nemesis has only ever returned in spin-offs, but you never know when he’ll pop around the corner next.

1. Mr. X – Resident Evil 2 Remake

Mr. X is the reason many players start panicking whenever they hear the sound of approaching footsteps in Resident Evil 2 Remake. Don’t be fooled by his bowler hat and trench coat, this Tyrant model T-103 looks like a wardrobe but moves at a brisk pace. As such, facing him head-on is always a bad idea, especially since he won’t stay down for long, even after pumping him full of explosive rounds. The opposite direction is always your best bet whenever Mr. X unexpectedly shows up.

While he gradually evolves into something more monstrous and unsightly towards the end of Leon and Claire’s adventure, even Mr. X’s initially plain appearance is unsettling. You simply have no way of defeating or halting this 7-foot-tall stalker, and you’re instead forced to navigate R.P.D headquarters using an entirely different route than you first intended. This endless game of cat and mouse never fails to get the heart pumping, especially since he follows you in real time.

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The post 15 Best Resident Evil Bosses and Monsters Ranked appeared first on Den of Geek.

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gdwessel · 3 years

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Sakura Genesis 2021 - 4/4/2021

The traditional Spring megacard has taken place, the first one since 2018. (2019′s was overtaken by G1 Supercard in New York, 2020′s cancelled due to the pandemic.) Hiromu Takahashi made a brief appearance before the first match as well. You can see it now on NJPWWorld, but, well... read on.

Sakura Genesis 2021 - 4/4/2021, Tokyo Ryogoku Kokugikan (NJPWWorld)

Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI [SZKG] d. Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Jado [Bullet Club] (Sabre > Loa, European Clutch, 10:10)

Kazuchika Okada, Toru Yano, Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii & YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] v. EVIL, KENTA, Yujiro Takahashi, Taiji Ishimori & Dick Togo [Bullet Club] (Yano > Togo, Urakasumi, 11:37)

Great O-Khan, Jeff Cobb & X (X = Aaron Henare) [United Empire] d. Tetsuya Naito, SANADA & Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables] (Henare > SANADA, Streets Of Rage, 9:51)

Hiroshi Tanahashi & Satoshi Kojima d. Jay White & Bad Luck Fale [Bullet Club] (Tanahashi > Fale, High Fly Flow, 10:05)

IWGP Juniorheavyweight Tag Team Championship: SHO & YOH [CHAOS] d. El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru [SZKG] © (YOH > Kanemaru, Direct Drive, 20:48) - Desperado/Kanemaru fail their 1st defense - Roppongi 3K are the 65th champions

IWGP World Heavyweight Championship: Will Ospreay [United Empire] d. Kota Ibushi © (Stormbreaker, 30:13) - Ibushi fails his 1st defense of the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship - Ospreay is the 2nd champion

Immediately post-match, Jeff Cobb of the United Empire flattened Ibushi with a Tour Of The Islands. I expect there to be a grudge match there soon. Ospreay now holds two titles (including RevPro’s Undisputed British Heavyweight belt), and immediately called out Kazuchika Okada for his first defense, however Shingo Takagi interrupted that, and declared he wanted a shot at it. So, I guess it’s Shingo first, probably at Wrestling Dontaku, then presumably Okada at Dominion.

There is a lot to unpack here. After all the hemming and hawing on the part of both Kota Ibushi and New Japan Pro Wrestling about “becoming God,” unifying the titles, committing to an angle that clearly was not popular, the very first defense of the new title goes to Ospreay, whom Gedo and the bookers clearly like. However, between his antics both on social media, and #SpeakingOut, and the recent angle where he gave an OsCutter to Bea Priestley to show just how much he wanted the title that didn’t even go over well with the fans in attendance, this is a wrestler that has alienated a not-small chunk of the New Japan Pro Wrestling audience. It was clear that at some point, Ospreay was going to be IWGP champion. Nobody really expected it to be now, so soon after Ibushi won and unified the titles. This show was pretty United Empire-centric, however, so maybe we should have seen this coming. The fact of the matter is, NJPW have put their brand new main title on someone that legitimately repulses a portion of the NJPW audience.

The only real positive to take from this, is that historically, brand new IWGP champions generally (GENERALLY) have short first title reigns. Recent examples would include Tetsuya Naito, Jay White and EVIL. Historically, Big Van Vader, Tatsumi Fujinami, Riki Choshu, Shinsuke Nakamura and Masahiro Chono (his only reign, cut short due to injury) all had relatively short first reigns with few defenses. It’s the exceptions that you would expect, that have had more significant first reigns -- Antonio Inoki, Keiji Muto/Great Muta, Shinya Hashimoto, Kensuke Sasaki, Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kazuchika Okada, AJ Styles, Kenny Omega. Kota Ibushi’s, frankly, is a little more inflated than it actually was, due to all the drama about unification, as well as the 2-night Wrestle Kingdom 15, making it seem longer than it actually was. I’m pretty sure Ospreay is not going to have a long reign, no longer than Dominion. They seem to be following the pattern of Tetsuya Naito c. 2016 with this storyline, so I expect Shingo to fall at Wrestling Dontaku (a la Tomohiro Ishii) with Okada once more winning this title at Dominion.

To keep up with the United Empire line of thought, the new X member was Toa Henare (so @damascenocs was right again), although going back to being billed as Aaron Henare. (I can’t quite seem to locate when and where he quit going by “Aaron Henry” before going to Henare, and then Toa Henare.) There is kind of a gross subtext here, with Henare being a New Zealander, aka a former British colony, and reverting from a “more native” sounding name like Toa Henare to going by a “civilized, colonial name” in Aaron Henare. Like so many things with regard to Will Ospreay, there is a distinct lack of reading the room here. On the other hand, I don’t actually MIND Henare being part of this, they needed to do something with him after just spinning his wheels in opening tag matches and only ever getting wins over Young Lions for the last few years. He has a new finisher too, sort of a Fisherman’s Death Valley Driver, called Streets Of Rage, a name I confess I love. Post-match, O-Khan attacked Naito’s knee with a chair, so I fully expect this feud to go on for a bit.

In other news about new moves, YOH returned to in-ring action today teaming with SHO, and delivered the winning blow to get the IWGP junior tag belts back around RPG3K’s waists. This new move is called Direct Drive, looks like a butterfly brainbuster or DDT (maybe a bit like Death Rider?). YOH then immediately challenged El Desperado for the IWGP Juniorheavyweight title, which would be YOH’s first-ever I believe. I fully expected this scenario to happen, only with SHO instead. But hey, YOH is back and that’s good.

Post-match, Tanahashi put Jay White into a Texas Cloverleaf, but also finally accepted Jay’s challenge for the NEVER Openweight strap. A challenge has been made by a Bullet Club tandem (KENTA, Yujiro, Ishimori) for the NEVER Openweight 6-Man belts held by Ishii/Goto/YOSHI-HASHI. And finally, Taichi demanded NJPW return the Iron Finger from Hell, implying the office has confiscated it. Hmm.

It wasn’t all bad, but the bad taste left by Will Ospreay and the United Empire, after all the hoopla about the IWGP World Heavyweight title, shows this may in fact be a long year for New Japan Pro Wrestling.

The next show is this Saturday, the beginning of the Wrestling Dontaku cycle. No lineups are announced yet. Probably later tonight or Monday sometime.

#NJPW #new japan pro wrestling #Sakura Genesis #njsg #Will Ospreay #IWGP World Heavyweight Championship #united empire #Aaron Henare #toa henare #Yoh #yohei komatsu #njpwworld

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puroresu-musings · 4 years

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NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM 14 Night 1 Review (Jan 4th 2020, Tokyo Dome)

Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma, Yota Tsuji & Yuya Uemura vs. Toa Henare, Karl Fredericks, Clark Connors & Alex Coghlin ***

Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima vs. Yuji Nagata & Manabu Nakanishi **3/4

JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER RETIREMENT MATCH Ⅰ: Jushin Thunder Liger, Tatsumi Fujinami, The Great Sasuke & Tiger Mask vs. Naoki Sano, Shinjiro Otani, Tatsuhito Takaiwa & Ryusuke Taguchi ***1/2

SANADA, EVIL, Shingo Takagi & BUSHI vs. Zack Sabre Jr.,Minoru Suzuki, Taichi & El Desperado ***1/4

Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii, Toru Yano & YOSHI-HASHI vs. KENTA, Bad Luck Fale, Yujiro Takahashi & Chase Owens ***

IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Guerrillas Of Destiny (c) vs. Juice Robinson & David Finlay ***1/4+

IWGP US HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH/ TEXAS DEATH MATCH: Lance Archer (c) vs. Jon Moxley ****

IWGP Jr. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Will Ospreay (c) vs. Hiromu Takahashi *****

IWGP INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Jay White (c) vs. Tetsuya Naito ****1/4

IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Kota Ibushi *****

Photos.

Good Lord, was this a great pro wrestling show! It ran the emotional gamut and gave us trememendous matches aplenty, this was as close to perfect as a wrestling event gets in my opinion. After two very decent, but very brief, pre-show tags featuring a nice mix of Young Lions and NJPW Dads, the main show kicked off with the first of Jushin Thunder Liger’s retirement bouts. I loved this, and whilst I wouldn’t say it was a “great” match, per say, everyone brought their working boots to make Liger’s farewell feel special, and they certainly succeeded. It was also great just to see some of these guys in the ring. The 40,000 plus in attendance were super into this, with Liger’s exchanges with Otani (who are two of my favourite workers ever) being the highlight. Everyone looked good here. Well, as good as some of them are going to look in 2020. Naoki Sano hit a big tope suicida, which was initially frightening, but was great to see, 66 year old Tatsumi Fujinami hit everyone with his patented Dragon Screw Leg Whip, and The Great Sasuke nearly killed himself twice on a Senton Atomico, before the ever-selfless Liger stared at the lights for a Taguchi Dodon at 8:52 of a super fun outing. Liger shook hands with everyone in the post match. It’s going to be sad watching Liger go, I can tell you.

ZSJ submitted BUSHI with the Jim Breaks Special at 8:39 of a really good LIJ vs. Suzuki-gun 8 man. Zack and SANADA’s exchanges were the standout, hyping their British Title Match tomorrow, which should be excellent. Hirooki Goto pinned Yujiro with the GTR in another decent 8 minute multi-man. This was fun, but forgettable stuff with Ishii hitting a big vertical suplex on Fale getting the biggest pop. The WTL winners Juice Robinson and David Finlay defeated GOD to win the IWGP Tag Titles in yet another good outing. Finlay got the pin on Tama Tonga after an Acid Drop to win the belts. This was a feel good win, and anything that appears to shake up that ultra-stale tag division is a positive in my eyes. Next up, Lance Archer and Jon Moxley squared off in an excellent Texas Death Match for the US Title. This was a hard-hitting brawl which used the stipulation effectively, and featured a lot of plunder, some great brawling, and fortuitous hard-way juice. After surviving a Blackout onto four chairs, and a plastic bag induced EBD Claw, Mox hit a massive Death Rider DDT off the apron, through two tables, to regain the championship he never actually lost, at the 14:26 mark, when Archer couldn’t answer the 10 count. Great stuff here. In the post match, Moxley promised to beat Juice Robinson tomorrow.

In what was a truly exceptional Junior Heavyweight Championship battle, Hiromu Takahashi overcame certain defeat, and won his precious “belt-san” back, in a sublime match with Will Ospreay. This had it all; sky-high emotional stakes, a great story and fantastic action. It also featured one of the most creative sequences I’ve ever seen in a match, when Ospreay went for the Sasuke Special, but Hiromu caught him and tried a German suplex on the floor, but Will flipped out onto his feet. He then charged at Takahashi, who countered into an overhead belly to belly throw, but Ospreay jumped through the ropes, doing a roll back into the ring, then finally hitting the Sasuke Special in a mind-blowing spot. The story here was Ospreay continually working over Hiromu’s neck (hitting several worrying double stomps to the back of his head), who did a tremendous sell-job throughout. Ospreay got a believable near fall with the Oscutter, which lead into the hot closing stretch. After scoring a near fall with a Canadian/Mexican Destroyer, Hiromu tried Time Bomb, but Will escaped, hits the hook kick and tries Stormbreaker, but Takahashi counters, and runs straight into a Spanish Fly for another near fall. Hidden Blade connects, which Hiromu sold beautifully, then Ospreay tried Stormbreaker again, but Hiromu reverses into a Code Red for a great near fall. Hiromu battles back, hitting Time Bomb, but Ospreay kicks at two to a massive pop. A lariat follows, then Hiromu hits his new finish; a leg capture Emerald Flowsion, which is tentatively being called Time Bomb II, to end a fab match at 24:33, and the win the belt. This was a fantastic comeback story, as the Junior Ace returns from a potential career ending injury and reclaims his throne. This had high expectations going in, but far exceeded them, and here’s hoping this signifies Ospreay’s jump to Heavyweight full-time as he’s realistically done all he can do in the Juniour division.

This left the Intercontinental Title outing between White and Naito with an awful lot to follow. They had an excellent pro wrestling bout that was completely unlike the match that preceeded it, but told just as good a story. Unfortunatley, as good as the match was, at 33:54, it was much too long, which hurt it somewhat. Jay destroyed Naito’s knackered knees, which will be the story of these two shows, but Naito made a valiant comeback, hitting a tope rope Frankensteiner, and Gloria for a near fall. He goes for Destino, but Switchblade slumps to the mat to prevent it, then shoves Naito into Red Shoes for the prerequisite ref bump. This was Gedo’s cue to run in, but Naito sent him packing with a low blow, but Jay hits a low blow of his own, goes for Blade Runner, but Naito hits a Dragon Suplex. Gedo in again, this time with a chair, but is again sent packing. White throws the abandoned chair into Naito’s face however, which he takes full force, then takes the Sleeper Suplex. Naito hits a Destino out of nowhere for the double down, then hits a reverse rana and another Destino for a great near fall. Naito tried another Destino, but Jay counters into a Blade Runner attempt, but Naito reverses that into Valentia, then hits another Destino to win the belt, and head into the winner-takes-all match tomorrow. I will say that one thing New Japan do really well is protect finishers. Whenever White went for Blade Runner, the crowd, who were 100% behind Naito, gasped in horror every time, as if Jay hits the move, the match is over.

Which brought us to the main event, which was the best match of the night, very probably the best match of the entire year (I’m aware we’re only 4 days in), and one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. Both guys came out in new gear, with Okada looking like a God in his entrance, so you knew this was going to be special. It started slow but built into an absoulutely epic match. Okada hits the dropkick off the top to the floor, then his big dive over the barricade, then in the ring locks on Red Ink, a move he hasn’t used in forever, showing he’s going to the old tricks drawer to try and beat Ibushi, who of course beat him in the G1. Ibushi escapes a Rainmaker attempt and tries a Moonsault dropkick, (which saw him land right ontop of his head), but Okada catches him in a Tombstone, only for Ibushi to reverse that into a Bastard Driver. Okada tries John Woo, but Kota counters into a big double stomp, then hits the Golden Triangle to the floor, and scores a near fall with the Last Ride. Okada starts unloading with European Uppercuts, but Ibushi no-sells them, getting the “psycho look” in his eyes. Kota starts teeing off with hard palm-strikes, kicks and punches, Okada fores back with John Woo, but Ibushi pops right up and floors the champion with more strikes. He goes for the deadlift German off the ropes, but Okada counters into a nasty Tombstone onto the apron, but Ibushi makes it in at 19. Okada hits Heavy Rain (another old classic), then the German rolled through into a spinning Rainmaker attempt, but Ibushi escapes with a Lariat. Kota finally hits the deadlift German off the apron into the ring, which Okada lands right on his head for, for a near fall, then tries the lawndart, but Okada turns it into a spinning Tombstone. A Rainmaker is turned into a huge Ibushi Lariat, who then hits a Boma Ye, but Okada kicks at one! Another to the back follows, as does a big head kick, then Ibushi nails Kamigoye, but again the champion gets the shoulder up at 2.999 as the Dome goes crazy. Ibushi drops the knee pad and tries another, but Okada counters into an amazing dropkick. Okada escapes a top rope Tiger Driver and attempts a missile dropkick, but Ibushi catches him in a sitout powerbomb for a great near fall, then goes up top for the Phoenix Splash, but Okada moves. Okada hits a spinning Rainmaker, then another Rainmaker, but Ibushi kicks out as the crowd goes crazy. Ibushi counters another Rainmaker attempt with another big head kick, then hits a V-Trigger. He goes for Kamigoye again, but Okada counters into a Fire Thunder Driver, then hits Rainmaker to end an absolutely outstanding match at the 39:16 mark. This was just exceptional stuff that perfectly played off spots in all of their previous meetings.

Naito came out in the post match and he promised to win tomorrow, saying its his perfect chance to beat him at the Dome. I’m amazed Okada is even able to go tomorrow after this match. Okada says “no chance”, and thanks Ibushi. He also says he wants even more people in the Dome tomorrow to see the double Title Match. I can’t believe there’s another of these shows to go. What a time to be alive.

NDT

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stories-mostly · 5 years

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Stark's Bug

Tony Stark x Son!reader

Let's all collectively ignore that I forgot about the entire first 15 min of the 2nd Iron man movie as a late birthday gift to me. Thx.

Words: 1525 (what a pretty number to look at)

Warnings: Canon typical violence, other than that none

Chapter 15

You are watching Happy and your dad box in the ring as you stood beside it copying their movements and fighting an invisible villain. Lots of stuff had happened recently but now that your dad was back, there was no reason to dwell on the latest happenings. Because: You had your own superhero costume!

It had been a weekend project with your dad after he caught you playing with his helmet on. He came up with the idea and you with some rough drafts of the design, then you worked together to give it the finishing touches. Creating your superhero costume all within a 48 hour time span.

There was a helmet in Iron man style but purple and blue colors which looked similar to Captain Magic's colour scheme and it was taken off and put on like a motorcycle helmet. There were strong glasses in the holes for your eyes which Jarvis was built into. They could simulate enemy's. Make them look like they're really there, so you can fight them.

You had a long Cape with dark purple on the outside and a softer blue on the inside, which was attached to your shoulder plates. They were attached to your chest Armour that reached down to your waist line and was made of a thin, breathable, sturdy fabric. You also had super special gauntlets, and boots that reached your knees. You loved your look and went by the name of "Captain Storm", after Captain Magic of course.

His superpowers are controlling the wind, time travel, and super strength. Captain Storm also has a super secret super power only to use in dire situations. Nobody knew that he can use the force! But soon he'll be found out by his arch nemesis Madman!

You had your fun playing pretend as the door opened and Pepper walked in. She was real busy recently so you were excited to see her.

"Pepper!" You shout and run over into her arms.

"What? Who are you?" she gasped.

"Uh? I'm (y/-, I mean, I'm Captain Storm! I was protecting you of the evil lasers of Madman! You can only see them with my super special helmet! Thank me later!" You explained taking a superhero stance. You smiled up at her and went away to "fight" the evil Madman who was now targeting your family!

You didn't even realize there was a whole stranger in the room smiling at your antics.

As soon as your father left the ring the strange lady got in it and fought Happy while Tony and Pepper talked.

You watched in despair as she took down your uncle without a problem. How dare she? That was your uncle! And an ally of Captain Storm! She must be a villain! In truth you were very impressed though. Well (y/n) might've been impressed but Storm saw in her nothing but a potential threat! Maybe she was even a spy sent by Madman! He just couldn't trust her. Though he tried to copy her moves. They were really cool.

You snuck off into the side room and changes back into your "civilian clothes".

Walking back into the gym the woman and Happy were both out of the ring.

You wandered over and let yourself fall over your dad's lap.

"You're finally back, Bug." he said ruffling your hair after pulling you up into a sitting position. Instead of being sprawled over his legs like a lazy cat.

"What're you doing?" you asked both of them, as they seemed to be doing, well, things. You didn't really know what.

"Nothing big, just some paperwork." He paused handing back the papers to Pepper. "Bug, What do you think about going with Happy, Pepper and me to Monaco?" He asked after you faced him properly.

"A vacation?" you were confused, you had school. Also where IS Monaco? Your knowledge of European geography didnt go further than knowing a few names of countries and their estimated location.

"Yeah, more or less. I mean going to Monaco to attend the Grand prix? You know, Formula one? Cars racing each other." He made motions with his hands that were somehow related to race cars.

"Sure." You shrugged pulling up all the knowledge you possess about formula one. It wasn't a lot. You knew that your Stark industries was sponsoring or owned one of the teams and that they drove really weird and fast cars, but that was about it.

It was your first vacation in a long time so hopefully it would be fun.

Not long after your father had asked you whether or not you wanted to come you were in Monaco. More specifically in your hotel room.

You jumped around on the furniture in the large living room as your father was taking a shower. He had said to get ready but you could spare a bit of time for playing.

You let Captain Magic fly around the room after the Captain America figure Coulson had gifted you. Magic knew that Captain USA was an imposter since the real one is dead. So now she had to catch him and reveal his true identity. Though playtime was over as soon as the bedroom door opened and both Captains crashed into your father's chest.

You gasped, and then apologized while giggling.

"Your apology is accepted, now go get dressed you rascal." He said picking up both captains and shooing you back to the couch where your suit was waiting to be put on.

You were dressed in a few minutes, struggling a bit with the button up.

Your father tied your tie and voila you were all ready to go. Looking all fancy in your dress shirt and vest. A real charmer, as your dad put it.

You put on your sunglasses and left.

Arriving at the race track you were overwhelmed on how big it was. You couldn't even see it all together. They really had to drive a long way around Monaco. People cheered as your father got out of the car. He did his usual spiel, while you clamored at the track. You also gave a short wave to the people before you followed Pepper and your dad inside, Happy following behind you.

Inside you where slightly overwhelmed so you just stuck to your father's side. Natalie was also there doing stuff. You actually only found out her name on the flight here when you were back to playing pretend.

Somebody took a quick picture of the three of you while your dad didn't stop talking. You continued to follow him around like a lost puppy.

There was the Hammer guy that was also at your dads court hearing. You could feel that they hated each other. The four of you shortly sat down on a table before Natalie came and told Tony that the other table he wanted is ready.

Your dad stood up and Pepper took your hand having realized how lost you looked, leading you over. You sat down and fiddled with the middle button of your vest.

"Wheres Tony?" Pepper asked after you were both seated.

"On the Toilet." you said looking over to the TV where the preparations for the race were broadcasted.

"I think hes off the toilet now." you said as you saw your dad in full racing get up on the track.

"What? Oh my God." Pepper said and asked for Natalie to bring Happy.

Meanwhile you were ecstatic at the thought of your him racing.

The race began and you were basically bouncing in your seat. Not knowing whether your father was winning or not you still cheered him on internally.

You looked over at Pepper who still had a "I can't believe this" expression on her face.

Your attention was drawn a few minutes after the race had begun. There was a man on the track, just casually walking along. You knew something wasn't right even before he started to turn into a weird very villainy looking dude. You turned to Pepper only to see that she was gone. Now you were panicking. You took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself but nothing was working. Natalie placed her hand on your back comfortingly. It didn't calm you down at all but grounded you a little. Your father was on the screen getting attacked by some random guy, without his suit, and your main support system was currently gone! You had a feeling that they weren't away to search for safety either.

Tears were building in your eyes as the situation grew more and more concerning.

All you could do was stay there helplessly watching as your father avoided being fried by mere millimeters. You started to grind your teeth together when you saw the car you had come with ram the man into the side barely avoiding your dad. You flinched and bit your lower lip roughly.

There were several heart stopping moments before your dad could finally suit up. You'd like to say that he'd won with ease but it looked like it took a lot of effort to defeat the man.

Ultimately the man was dragged off by officers and the damage was done. You were relived that it was over.

You held onto him tightly as soon as he was within reach.

There was nothing to like about seeing your dad be in immediate danger and fighting for his life. Again.

Tags: @shannonr2003 @art-estrange @nicholasbich @tater-thottie @tonystanktheirondad @gaylemonshark @emilaa2001 @kindahadeschild

Thank you for reading :)

#tony stark x child!reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #tony stark #tony stark x male reader #tony stark x male!reader #tony stark x m!reader #male reader #male!reader #m!reader #marvel reader insert #child!reader #stark!reader #stark's bug #stark's bug chapter 15 #chapter 15

129 notes · View notes

hazyheel · 5 years

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G1 Supercard Review

First match of the night was the Honor Rumble, starting with Kenny King and Minoru Suzuki. Just gonna run through some of the fun spots, such as the tag teams teaming up. Taguchi had a moment where he directed Rocky Romero’s corner clotheslines, eventually leading almost all members of the match to hit BUSHI in the corner. Jushin Thunder Liger got a huge pop, entering and eliminating Brawler Milonas with Shoteis. Colt Cabana took Yano’s spot in the match, in a heartwarming moment. King Haku made a big return, got a decent pop. Haku was beating down Cabana, so Yano ran into the match to help him out. And at #30, the Great Muta made a huge return. Yano accidentally nailed Cabana with the corner pad, leading to them both being eliminated. Ishii and Suzuki renewed their rivalry, leading to Suzuki’s elimination. The two finalists were Jushin Thunder Liger and The Great Muta. They had a nice little match, before Kenny King, who had not been eliminated, threw them both out and won the match. King got misted for his deceit, but still won the match.

Grade D+. Just a weirdly rushed Royal Rumble rip off. Really not into this. It wasn’t very smooth, there wasn’t much story to it, and even though it was for a world title shot, I just couldn’t care. Still, nice to see Muta wrestle again. He kinda still had it.

And in the first actual match of the night, Will Ospreay took on Jeff Cobb, in a winner take all match for the NEVER Openweight Championship and the ROH World Television. They started out fast and furious, with Cobb hitting a huge European uppercut to start the match. Cobb even hit an awesome delayed superplex for a near fall, showing incredible core strength and balance from Ospreay. Ospreay went for his flip off the chest, but Cobb countered with a huge lariat. Ospreay went for the os cutter, but Cobb caught him and threw him into the corner, only for Ospreay to land on the middle rope and hit the os cutter anyway, for an awesome near fall. Ospreay tried to hit the stormbreaker off the top, but Cobb countered with a super tour of the islands, then hitting a normal tour of the islands for the win.

Grade: A-. Great match. They had awesome chemistry, and hit some awesome moves on each other. I don’t know why I thought that Ospreay would end Cobb’s undeafeated streak, but I was happy to be wrong. Really great match, and I am looking forward to seeing how long Cobb is a double champion. Definitely a match worth watching as their counters were actually awesome.

Next up, a special singles match between Rush and Dalton Castle. This match was over in seconds, as Rush nailed three huge corner dropkicks and got the win. After the match, Castle was so pissed about his loss, and pissed at the boys for trying to cheer him up, he attacked them with a gutwrench suplex and a bangarang, turning heel. I am not going to grade this match, but it was pretty awesome to see.

Then we had a woman of honor championship match, pitting Mayu Iwatani against Kelly Klein. Before the match, Klein sent away camp klein, opting to fight the match fairly. The two had technical exchanges, with Klein coming away with the advantage during mat wrestling. But as Klein got too comfortable, Iwantani locked in a sleeper hold, nearly able to get the win off of that. Kelly Klein got the win after two K powers. At the end of the match, Velvet sky and Angelina Love came down to the ring. As the women distracted her, Mandy Leon attacked, laying out Klein and several other women of honor. They drew the anarchy symbol on her head, and walked out. New stable in the women of honor division.

Grade: D. Just a bad match. I liked the story of Klein showing that she has become a better person, but other than that this was a boring match that was kinda awkward. I didn’t really care for the post match antics either, just becuase it wasn’t particularly good. But they did hit some cool moves, it just wasn’t awesome.

Mega Ran did a rap. Yay, but thankfully Bully Ray came out to interrupt. He was given a big babyface reaction because they all hated Mega Ran. He drove Mega Ran out of the ring, and confessed attacking Juice Robinson. He said that the challenge was still open, and Flip Gordon answered the call. Back from injury, he got a huge reaction. He quickly started out with a superkick, and a springboard spear. It didn’t take long for Bully to get the table, and for Shane Taylor and Silas Young, but LifeBlood’s Juice Robinson and Mark Haskins came out to save Flip Gordon. They offered to change this to a 3 on 3 match, and came to beat down Bully. Gordan had to take huge kendo stick shots from all of the heels, no selling all of them until his Lifeblood allies came, for a kendo stick fight among all six. The heels fought back, and powerbombed Gordon through a table. In the finish, Bully was hit with a superkick, powerslam, stinkface and a 450 for the win

Grade: C. Perfectly fun soap opera bullshit. It was a lot of hard core stuff, but nothing too crazy. Awesome to see Flip Gordon back, and doing his thang, happy to see Silas Young and Lifeblood, just fun. Not the best hardcore match ever, but it was fine for what it was.

Into the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship match, Taiji Ishimori took on both Dragon Lee and Bandido. Lee quickly picked up the pace with a slingshot hurricanrana to Bandido, only for Ishimori to hit a huge moonsault. Lee was really beating the shit out both of his opponents, with shots that were as stiff as they come. They just kept hitting crazy flying moves, mexican destroyers, hurricanranas and ddts. Ishimori hit Lee with the Bloody Cross for a near fall. Bandido hit both men with a moonsault powerslam, which the commentators accurately said wasn’t a real move. Lee was able to get the win after hitting a knee lift to Ishimori and some sort of vertical powerslam to Bandido.

Grade: B+. Flippy flippy flippy match. These guys flew all over the place, with awesome and dangerous moves. It was surprisingly short, but still quite fun. Dragon Lee winning the belt makes me think that Hiromu Takahashi will be back for the Best of the Super Juniors. Happy to see Lee have the belt, he really deserves it. And although I think Ishimori’s reign ended a bit short, I think that it ended at the perfect time for the story of Takahashi vs. Lee to continue. Hope to see that soon.

Into the tag team championships match, the Guerillas of Destiny vs. Villain Enterprises vs. The Briscoes vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon. PCO had to be revived in his entrance, but it looked pretty cool. They started out with a wild brawl, and there didn’t even seem to be rules in this match. The Briscoes seemed to be working together super well, destroying their opponents with chairs. Sanada and Evil hit awesome tag team offense, with huge kicks and such. PCO hit a huge moonsault for a big near fall. Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa gave PCO a huge powerbomb out of the ring, to the floor, with no protection, it looked horrendous, but he sat up afterwards, so I think he is okay. In the finish, Jado got involved, smacking Brody King with a Kendo Stick, allowing Tama Tonga to hit a gunstun, and then a superpowerbomb from Tonga Loa for the win. However, as they went to grab the belts, Toru Yano had stolen them, and looked to run away with them.

Grade: A-. Wild match right from the start. There were crazy bumps, crazy spots, non stop action, and I couldn’t look away. It was a lot crazier that I had thought it would be, but it was still awesome. Briscoes had some awesome hardcore spots, Brody King and PCO did some crazy stuff, Evil and Sanada kept ahold of their classic wrestling style, while Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa kept their heads down, interfered when they needed to, and came away with the win. Fun, car wreck of a match.

Next up was a singles match between Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi for the British Heavyweight Championship. The two exchanged technical holds, with Sabre not commiting too hard in the beginning of the match. Sabre continued to play mind games throughout the match, working over Tanahashi’s arm. When tanahashi couldn’t skin the cat, Sabre realized that he needs to target that limb and began to destroy it. Sabre did his best to counter Tanahashi’s submissions, but Tanahashi was able to keep outwrestling Sabre. However, when Tanahashi went up for the high fly flow, Sabre quickly ran to the top rope to stop it. Sabre seemed to have the advantage during striking contests, but not in technical wrestling, oddly enough. Tanahashi began to psych himself up, hitting several twist and shouts and slingblades. However, Sabre was able to outlast Tanahashi, locking in his submission that has a super long name and getting the verbal submission.

Grade: B. A bit slower than the matches that these two normally, but still quite good. I liked the story of Tanahashi actually being able to best Sabre, but sabre just outlasted him. He was younger, had better conditioning, and knew that he could outlast the Ace. Good stuff, but far from their best match.

And then we had the Intercontinental Championship match, Kota Ibushi vs. Tetsuya Naito. They started with the quick strikes right off the bat, targetting each other’s necks as these two so often do. It didn’t take long before they started busting out the big moves, with ibushi hitting a hurricanrana off the apron, and then hitting a springboard double stomp for a near fall. Ibushi hit his second rope german, Naito hit a spike hurricanrana off the top rope. The two battled for the opportunity to hit a package piledriver on each other, with Naito eventually getting the honors. The two began to exchange forearms, kicks and palm strikes. Naito then hit a huge reverserana into a destino, but Ibushi actually kicked out. Ibushi then nailed a bomboye to the back of the head, and then to the face for a near fall. He then hit a last ride for a near fall, before picking him up for a Kamegoye and the win.

Grade: A. As awesome as ever, these guys can do no wrong. They hit each other as hard as they could, they threw each other onto their necks, and the whole thing was just so so scary. Awesome to see Ibushi finally getting a long term title reign, unlike his run with the Openweight Belt. He will probably hold it for a couple months, hopefully into the G1 Classic, but I am just happy that he won here.

Now into the ROH main event, Jay Lethal vs. Marty Scurll vs. Matt Taven, for the ROH World Championship, in a ladder match. The men didn’t take long to start throwing ladders at each other. At one point, Scurll trapped Lethal’s head in a ladder, before hitting the latter with a chair. Scurll even attempted to grab the belt by climbing a shorter ladder and grabbing it with his umbrella. Throughout the match, Scurll injured his knee after being stuck in a figure four in a ladder. Taven hit a huge powerbomb to lethal through a ladder suspended between two chairs. Taven and Scurll faced off in the middle of the ring, with Scurll attempting to hit all his offense, but Taven kept playing spoiler to that, drawing chants of fuck you taven. Scurll hit a huge superplex to take out Taven. Lethal was about to win the match, but Scurll locked in the chicken wing and threw him off the top. Taven and Scurll then battled at the top, only for Scurll to break Taven’s fingers, before getting punched off. Taven had it won, but his fingers hurt too much and he fell off. Lethal was able to land a lethal injection on Scurll, but did not have a ladder to capitalize. Scurll took a lot of punishment, as Taven delivered a huge spear through the ropes and through a table. At one point, Lethal went up to the top of a huge ladder to hit the biggest elbow drop ever on Taven, through a table. At one point, Taven introduced a huge, purple ladder, with ladders suspended between lower rungs and the ropes of both sides. Scurll got taken out after Taven swept his leg, and he tumbled out of the ring. Lethal and Taven battled atop the ladder, and Taven smacked lethal with the belt, sending him down through the ladder. Taven then grabbed the title, the new ROH World Champion.

Grade: A. This was a great match. They destroyed themselves with ladder shots, and falling from huge heights. These guys will be sore tomorrow, and they put on a hell of a match. Scurll probably took the most sickening bumps, but everyone did some terrifying stuff. I didn’t expect this match to be as good as it was, but I was pleasantly surprised. Bummed that Scurll didn’t win, but Taven really does deserve it. Congratulations Taven, you deserved it. Surprisingly enough, this was probably the match of the night for me.

And the main event for New Japan, Kazuchika Okada vs. Jay White for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. White started playing mindgames immediately, but Okada played them right back. Every time Okada seemed to be gaining the advantage, Gedo got involved to keep White in the lead. It got to the point where, after booting Jay White over the barricade, Okada threw Gedo in after him, before hitting a huge splash to the both of them. White desperately tried to counter Okada’s signature moves, but even when he did, Okada would manage to hit them anyway. Okada was hitting his dropkicks as hard as he ever has, nailing one in the face and one in the chest. At one point, White hit a huge Saito suplex out of the ring, onto the apron. Jay did everything he could to make sure that he doesn’t get hit by the Rainmaker, at one point just sitting down to avoid it, and another time reversing into a sleeper suplex. Okada nailed a spinning rainmaker, into another Rainmaker for a great near fall. Jay hit the blade runner, but did not make the pin due to his exhaustion. As Okada was about to get the win again, but Gedo distracted the ref and White hit a low blow. They had a series of counters, before Okada hit two rainmakers, a jumping tombstone, and then one more rainmaker for the win.

Grade: A-. Really great match. They played on all the apsects of their rivalry over the past few months, like Gedo’s betrayal, the reversal of the rainmaker into Bladerunner, and Okada’s need to go super overkill to put down white. The action was fast and intense, and although I thought it would be better if White retained, it does feel good to see the belt back on Okada.

Overall Grade: B+

Pros: Cobb vs. Ospreay; junior heavyweight championship; tag championship; british championship; intercontinental championship; ladder match; main event

Cons: honor rumble; Dalton Castle heel turn :( ;women of honor match; mega ran

#hazyheel #roh #roh review #njpw review #njpw #new japan #new japan review #new japan pro wrestling review #new japan pro wrestling #ring of honor #ring of honor review #njpw world #g1 supercard #g1 supercard review

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vertigoambrosia · 5 years

Text

i am going to continue with drive of champions after the bad thing

...i just can’t understand why my husband would do this to our child...

mueller deserves a title shot more than marius tbh

seriously though i don’t’ understand why they would give andy another title shot from a writing standpoint

anyway if bertl doesn’t win this i will be upset - they haven’t had sitoci do anythign with the title and avalanche really needs a strong narrative

wait..he’s wearing the green singlet again

the monster consulting singlet

.....will we see julian?

god i do not understand why this shitty gimmick is persisting

i feel like emil’s current gimmick is the kind of thing people leave promotions over

who are these weirdos rooting for emil?

really though avalanche does have kind of an issue getting over on his own and it worries me a bit

heehee avalanche just throwing emil around

argh it bothers me cause emil in the ring actually has some fun mannerisms but the rest of the gimmick is trash

maybe avalanche does better in teams cause the best parts of his matches are when he has crazy momentum and is just going balls to the wall, and when he’s the hot tag you get that all the time

“THAT’S NOT A KISS THAT WAS A BITE” bless u rico

uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh really?

wait why would emil care about being in the main event

ugh how long are they gonna stretch this feud out

i don’t care about this title match at all it’s so random

and like...why is marius getting another shot?

ohh the mitteldeutchland cup got him a titel shot? i wish they had been a little more clear about that

this match should be interesting - i havne’t seen amale in a singles match besides against alison, and she did real well in the four way

still miss her last name but alas

also still have no idea what she is doing with her hand

wait is this a title match?

things i would like to ban in womens matches

rollups

slaps

butt offense

ohhhh that kiss my hand thing

RUDE

do other europeans think the french are snooty the way that we do?

ok that hand spot was weird

was it supposed to be that she licked her hand and then rubbed it in valkyrie’s face?

ok i very aprpeciate how that was more of a knee in teh cvorner than a hip attack

amale’s singles amtches are still a lil...stilted but this is much better than her other matches

ok that was a real good finishing segment

i love lil shit yuta

but if our sweet hamburger boy doesn’t win i think the crowd will riot

(also i know this was yuta’s last date, though hopefully he’ll be back?)

veit shaved his head again and i do not approve

i guess maybe he didn’t want to have the same haircut as walter anymore?

“what does a mueller wonderland look like? hamburg, i guess” rico asking the importnat questions

oh this match is fun

hahahahahahahahahahah andy said ‘hamburger boys’ that’s a thing i say!

yuta is good at selling like he’s getting fucking owned

oh snaaaap that counder to the oconnor roll was amazing

rip wheeler yuta

blech i hate that ROMEO AND JULIEEEETTTTT theme

ok actually i don’t hate it besides that part

ilja is being bad but i still love him as my song

also just noticed that torpedo moscow he did looked safer than usual, which is nice

ok i really need to know if ivan is in on pete’s evilness

if ivan and pete break up i cannot imagine how upset i will be

oh man i love how much hamburg hates jay fk

also i swear jay skillet gets more ridiculous every time i see him

lollll does he have earrings? did he always have those?

this is all amaing

wait don;t the champs fight last in a gauntlet?

oh snap are rise gonna win the titles?

the boys go evil but get their gold back?

VERY BAD GUESTS

hahahaah rip francis

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

amazing

oh no

ivannnnnnnnnn

oh ew side note i have a feelign the crown will be champs

i’m distressed whether ivan ditches pete or not

best husbands breaking up would be so sad

but ivan putting up with his asshole husband is also so sad

lmaooo alle ausser pete

tbh pete going heel is not my favorite story choice even ignoring the emotional trauma

i feel like it’s kind of a ‘we wanted the titles on aussie open but also don’t really knwo what to do with rise after they’re champs’ thing

i guess it’s felt a little too constructed

“have we addressed bouncer’s shape today?” oh rico

pete is evil and nothing is okay anymore

interesting, i thought vollgastern would be out next - maybe the crown won’t win?

glad people are still heckling jurn about being bald

FUCK that actually looked really painful

um andy he’s not the prince of pro anymore - he’s the pain prince

in his own words, he has not been feeling very professional

ok i actually kinda want the crown to win cause i think i’d be a little shitty to have aussie open beat every single tag team in one night

actually have the crown in and then vollgastern beat them lol

oh kyle that moonsault....

LOL AJ JUST USED JURN HAS A WEAPON

boooooo but also yay aussie open didn’t bury the entire tag division

julian being smart and getting tas out there

i mean, not that tas hasn’t dropped the ball like a hundred times

whaaaat

that was not what i as expecting!

not sure how i feel about julian’s new gear

i like the color but idk if i like it on him?

it’s like...not bright enough?

that was a really good gauntlet but i still think it’s shitty that aussie open just defeated literally every tag team in one night

also it’s weird that they brought in the schadenfruede thing but brookes hasn’t been around in like two months

esp with the whole ‘lucky has two families’ thing just kinda fizzing out

oh hi ilja

wtf is a “flic flac artist”

oh fuck i just realized ilja’s not wearing contacts anymore

it’s fucking weird

cause his eyes are so pretty

well now we know exactly what is gonna happen

walter & ilja will defeat aussie open at shortcut

but then lose the titles at world tag festival (still not thrilled about the change in format)

hopefully to tim and veit

oh ok so we are actually gonna try with schadenfreude again?

oh here’s that main event i don’t care about

maybe they’ll turn bobby heel finally

they won’t

seriously though they need to build a real singles feud for bobby

hahah you can see an imprint of lucky’s fingers on andy’s chest

oh snap it seems like part of hamburg hates bobby again

which is...something they probably should have accounted for? like, this isn’t as bad as in dresden, which was 100% ride or die ilja, but still

someone let verena knwo you don’t relaly pronounce the ‘h’ in ‘nihilist’

actually i’m kinad surprised she’s doing it in english at all

hahahaha rico and andy get scarf and shawl confused

bobby was wearing a scarf

oh now they’re cheering whatever make up your mind hamburg

hahaha i actually can’t blame andy for trying that

i mean, we know emil’s gonna be back in that match look at that face

see emil shoudl just stick to creepy smiles and biting people and laughing when he gets hit

basically emil should be a masochist instead of a nihilist

oh no what if emil wins and they unify the titles i would die

these spots are getting a little weird

why is bobby just standing there pin someone dumbass

....or get on the top rope and get caught, sure

???? why didn’t he pin marius?

not the best time for a runin?

avalanche should have interfered right after the spanish fly

weirdly mistimed

also avalanche did that to ilja like two years ago

you know commentary has run out of things to say when one of them asks for confirmation that bobby can lose his title without being pinned

HAHAHA was that intentional or a botch

when rico says ‘what a manuever’ i’m pretty sure he really means ‘what was that supposed to be?’

can this match just end

i just...don’t...care and this is so. long.

awww that double f5 would have actually been pretty cool

remember when bobby fucked up speedball’s finger like, for real?

remember when bobby had feuds with heat?

remember when bobby was heel?

even the crowd is losing interest

what a surprise

oh my god hamburg either boo him or cheer him make up your damn mind

oh is bobby gonna give lucky a title shot anyway???

oh my baby’s face

crowd i’m confused who should be punching who in the face?

awwww look at lucky’s face! his smile!

i feel like hamburg just wants to boo right now

god i hope lucky wins

hah lucky holding the hand just a liiittle bit too long

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sangriatimes · 5 years

Text

Nintendo Switch saves Valentines Day

Can you believe that we are almost half-way done with January? Maybe it’s just me and the countless hours I put into reviewing the latest titles for the Nintendo Switch...which is our focus point that can change the tide if you hit a hard spot this V-Day. Maybe you don’t have enough money for that dinner, movie and gift. Maybe you thought that restaurant you made a reservation at is more expensive than you though. Maybe you just started a new relationship but you still have some awkward silences that seem to kill the mood. Whatever the situation may be a Nintendo Switch can get you to second base and home plate...trust me.

So let’s look at some of the titles for switch that are great to play with that special someone. (Games are listed in no particular order; games are not based on “)sales”; Games are mainly hidden gems)

1. Monopoly | 9.5 out of 10

Hear me out. I was one that grew up playing the original board game with my family and the overall appeal of the game was astounding, but I lost interest when I got older and noticed how long it takes to make everyone go bankrupt. ...but this is something...otherworldly. The first awesome thing you will notice when you pick up this title is the use of the Joy-Con controllers to shake the dice and throw them. Though this is still the same mechanic in spirit as its predecessor but with the newly animated boards populated by Mii’s and watching a living city grow as you play and add properties adds an entirely new respect for Money Bags. Our team lost track of time having so much fun with this one and before we knew it, we had seen 5 hours pass. (No one wants to play Monopoly for that long.)

2. Uno | 8.5 out of 10

Uno is another one of those games I grew up playing with family. When I purchased the game, I was expecting some sort of controller mechanic similar to Monopoly’s dice...but with cards instead...but I was let down. None the less, going into this, I didn’t even know that there were so many ways to play Uno besides the normal rules. Once again, I was amazed at how much more fun this was than the physical cards themselves. Rules like “Stacking. Where Player 1 can play a “Blue Draw 2″ card and Player 2 can counter play a “Draw 2″ card as well. ...but if Player 3 doesn’t possess a “Draw 2″ card, Player 3 then has to pick all 4 cards from the previous turns” was so exciting to try and there are many other ways to customize rules and play styles.

3. Super Smash Bros | 9.0 out of 10

I really don’t need to go into detail about this one. My only issue with the Smash series is I would really enjoy a multiplayer adventure mode or campaign. I was quite pleased with the full roster of characters though. Disclaimer: Make sure your partner isn’t a sore loser. We all know about SSB’s steep learning curve for beginners. “Don’t be a butt...”

4. Diablo 3 | 9.0 out of 10

I remember having this title on my old PS4 and being able to enjoy it on my PS Vita while I was in a relationship with someone who liked the game as much as I and we would both take our Vita’s to the restroom with us so we could keep the experience going. This title can definitely be used to understand the mindset your partner has by the way they customize their character and the actions they take in response to events. It’s a top-down action-adventure-role-playing-hack-n-slash (inhale.) It is a port of it’s original released on PS3 & 360...the price tag is still $59.99. That’s a deal breaker in my book.

5. NES Emulator | 7.5 out of 10

I honestly chose this one because of how many gamers I know and how 89% of them are males. This is something for those who don’t game to get their feet wet. The emulator is free on the eShop for a 7-day trial but comes with a subscription cost after. Pretty inexpensive for the titles they have. Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros, Metroid, and many more. It even comes with special versions of some of the games which gives the player the experience of playing with Game Genie cheats.

6. 99 Vidas | 7.0 out of 10

Your probably thinking, “ Why is this even listed?” Well, just in case that partner your with doesn’t dig the 8-bit look or the low-res adventures of the NES Emulator and desires a little more action and has a fetish for Streets of Rage and Beat ‘em Up’s. Simply. The available characters are cool enough to get players to find a favorite out of them. ...so...that’s good!

7. Oh Sir...The Hollywood Roast | 8.3 out of 10

After seeing the Samuel Jackson clone named “Bad MotherHugger” who’s personality is totally canon, I had to dig deeper. If you didn’t play the prequel, you don’t need to. I honestly only used the first title to learn how to play. In this installment, you and a co-star face off on a movie set where your scenario is to insult the other the worst. It plays like a fighting game, complete with health bars, special insults, tag team insults and so much more. For the price it is, I was expecting something way less entertaining. Oh, and one point or another you will joke against a Deadpool copy...a less funnier Deadpool but funny enough.

Consider this the American version of The Office.

8. Oh Sir...The Insult Simulator | 7.8 out of 10

Obviously, this is the European version of The Office. I won’t say this is better than the sequel and I can’t say it’s worse either but I will say “I am an American...” What this game does is teach you how to layer your jokes and how lay the foundation for repetition in your topics to create combo’ s. I like to let the opponent bombard me with little weak jokes and build a super mean and super long insult that grants victory for only one joke. I call it, “The Kamehameha Effect!”

9. No More Heroes: Travis Strikes Back

The third installment to the series hits the eShop and retailers in a few days and I am super excited to get my copy. If you aren’t familiar with the series, let me fill you in:

Travis Touchdown is the protagonist of all three games. In NMH1 we find Travis at his lowest moment in life. Jobless, hopeless and drunk, he runs into a mysterious woman who offers him employment with a sketchy syndicate group he knows nothing about. Luckily he had lost all his money by winning a bid at an online auction for a Beam Katana, his main choice of weaponry. Not long after, you find out you were hired as an assassin in a shady game by her higher-ups. Travis takes the job after being promised some passionate TLC if he can take out all 10 of the already top ranking assassins all over the world. Travis is a pretty simple guy. He likes mecha anime, luchador wrestling, old school video games, porn, sex, and sleeping on the toilet.

In NMH2, Travis finds out that after becoming the #1 ranking assassin in Santa Cruise, he finds out that he actually has hundreds of more assassins in a new ranking system where Travis is the lowest ranking.

This time around, Travis is joined by the father of one the assassins he killed in NMH1, and the co-op option is something that would have been outstanding to have in NMH2 but none the less the developers always deliver great content in their titles and this one will not disappoint. Couples will enjoy the kinky nature of the series for sure. It has been proven many times.

10. Broforce | 9.5 out of 10

Every wanted to play Super Mario Bros on NES but with guns? Ever want to change Mario for, let’s say...any huge action movie star from the 80′s, 90′s, 00′s? Ever wanted it to be a co-op experience with up to 4 players with local and online co-op? As a mercenary for the USA, you are sent to 3rd world contries to liberate them from the evil control of Satan and his hell spawn. Before that, you will have to fight through waves of kamikaze soldiers, war dogs, giant helicoptors, aliens (...from the movie “Aliens”) and much more. Along the way, you will recruit an entire cast of badasses. From Rambo to Robocop, you will find Chuck Norris, Neo, Blade, Bruce Willis, Terminator, Preditor, Machette, Michelle Rodrigez, The Bride (Kill Bill) & so many more including Mortal Kombats Raiden.

Very easy to pick up, very hard to put down.

11. Nidhogg 2 | 8.0 out of 10

2D-Side Scrolling Fighter. You start of with a sword. When you die, you respawn with a dagger. When you die, you respawn with a bow and arrow. Die again and respawn with an ax. Die again and respawn with your fist. This cycle will continue until you our your opponent makes it to the opposing end of the map. Maps are relatively small and consist of about 2 to 3 different frames. Sounds easy on paper right?

Tons of laughs to be had!

12. Tales Of Vesperia

If your looking for an in-depth RPG you both can play while she sits between your legs and you both focus on the Switch screen laying in front of you: this is for you two. The co-op system usually only functions when you enter battle. Player 1 will always be the one running around the world map but this is still fine if you keep an open-mind and communicate on decisions that impact the story and more. (Keep track of your own money.)

side-note: All Tales games are co-op in this sense, even the Super Nintendo picks.

13. Harvest Moon: Light of Hope

I’ve been a Harvest Moon fan since Super Nintendo and got my first copy on the N64. I know a lot of people see this game and hate the thought of a farming simulator but unlike it’s counterpart with the same name-sake; Harvest Moon is so much more. This can easily tame the craving for an adventure-rpg-dating sim with a very rich story and characters that actually grow on you. I have not had the chance to play this particular version yet, but I saw it was multiplayer and that sold me. If you want to try a good yet cheaper version, Harvest Moon: Back to Nature is by far, one of the best, next to Harvest Moon 64.

So there you have it, our picks of love for your love to love with their love! Honestly...I don’ t celebrate Valentines Day (poly-gang), but I love exposing partners to new things that they can enjoy together.

OUT!

9 notes · View notes

weirdness-on-the-roof · 5 years

Text

critical role episode 48 campaign 2 notes and funny lines post break edit:this has detailed notes on all the stuff that happened later in the episode including physical descriptions near the end. enjoy ya nerds

don’t steal the books from a high powered mage; don’t kill the dude; beau turning into cad; look at beau planning for the future

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is marisha flirting with matt via matt playing yasha and beau flirting with yasha?

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‘tea the international language’ but no earl grey

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wensworth the goblin

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coming from Cad ‘im a fine tea maker’ is kinda a threat tbh

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elf that isn’t white/European??? yay! also really old elves are cool

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beau and cad tag teaming a political chat with a mage this can’t end poorly

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Nott: :beau ruins every situation shes in and is very abrasive

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send the freaking cat!!! why not?? caleb my dude

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god i miss allura and gilmore currently

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fucking fuck don’t lie to the mage beau plz stop this is painful ‘you’re not wrong’ sure blame the ancient sea god

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‘on the verge of returning’ yea no duh you let him out 2/3 of the way so fjord could get a spell

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‘we found a thing’ so smooth and eloquent beau ‘it was presented to us as the happy fun time ball’

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‘butter fingers with magical items’

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beau getting a geography lesson from a very old powerful elven mage

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‘magical geometric orb that has the ability to bend time and space and fate’ which is kept in a hot pink magic bag that happened to ‘fall into [their] lap’

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‘if youre down im down is what im saying... i have a few slots open in my loyalty bank if you’re willing to pay rent’ says the 20 some human who punches things to the centuries old wizard ‘

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liam stress eating

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cad’s hope in the group is heartwarming

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tower metaphors and a conversation!!!

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caleb reading shitty romance novel and nott eating a fish outside a mage’s tower in the morning sunlight in a major city

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caleb takes the rear

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first name drop and a while

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holy shit 200 years of magic using

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cad explaining materialistic nature of the rest of the party to elf dude is hilarious

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teleportation circles?????? in return for access to the sphere!! oh shit thats good

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or candy

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crap. no one has insight checked this dude and they gave him the happy fun ball and made a deal kinda.

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‘how do we prove our loyalty?’ ‘by not fucking me over’ sounds like a good plan

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is this guy just caleb’s patron now on the low idk this is how my head works and he said learn

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“you have a geometric shape that makes babies?” “yea they talked about that”

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fjord just kills the dude

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‘i got banishment on hold just in case’ *cackling laughter*

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i agree with elf dude, him not knowing anything about the dodecha is more concerning than him knowing about it

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ALL THE CITIES FROM CR1 MENTIONED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! I STILL MISS ALLURA AND GILMORE

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good to know the pink bag protects from divination on this plane but just this one

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jester and the traveler figurine

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cad included the Traveler in the ‘chaotic forces’ i still think the traveler is some kinda arch fey evil things idk its real late here and this is incoherent

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‘well, thats been my morning tea‘

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caleb getting additional tour

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good aesthetic for the room tbh

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letting weird people in for morning tea is entertainment is a mood and something i strive to be able to do without getting murdered one day

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so yasha and caleb both have gotten the ‘stay with friends’ chat from a powerful being which is nice. but also the ‘use who you need to’ going to caleb is vaguely concerning

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personalized biscuits [bourbon, cinnamon, lobster, fish and three unknowns]

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‘caleb, what happened in there?’

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cad not believing caleb’s bullshit and opening doors for caleb warms my heart

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‘if this isn’t the death of us, and if not hes a good ally. somethings gonna be the death of us so [yolo]’

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‘you can’t bullshit everyone in this world’

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cad talking about beau telling the truth: ‘you’re not very good at it but you tried

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jester looking out for nott and her home town

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caleb and beau being cute while also giving each other shit is the most sibling like thing

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omg going back to allfield that was so long ago for fucks sake BRYCE my person thank god

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jester had a boy band phase its cannon and i think the girls had a sleepover in jester’s old room. also marion never leaves the hotel. THE RUBY NECKLACE MY HEART AND THE HONEY AWWWWW

‘the army of men and women and inbetween that will do as i want them to’ god i adore her being protective of jester

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also the fact matt makes such a good mom why is he like this

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travel time!!!! ‘roll for initiative’-tal

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how does matt keep these notes so organized and remember all the npc names

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the ranger/beast master in Laura is coming out with nugget

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caleb is a devout cat person and jester is the definition of a dog person

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nott refining oil on a magical moving cart, while jester reads a romance novel and trains a dog,

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Dyren- Beau’s roommate at colbot souls; ‘taught beau lots of really cool things’ got sent to a warfront. shaved head, dark clothes, buff b/c ‘been workin out’, ‘do you love her?’ they had ‘good times’, then literal booty call, and dropping locations, Dyren was in Bladegarden. ‘fierce eyebrows, pointed nose’

OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

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Vandren info drop to Fjord ‘he was making amends’

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Dyren responded and was hurt in Bladegarden but is safe. Beau looked immediately worried and happy about jester’s imput [’sounded way into you’]

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empire kids chat and caleb admitting insecurities about powerful people and being scared about the consequences of his actions and the group’s actions. caleb is scared about being forced to leave for safety and being ‘flayed alive’. my thoughts are he would leave if he became a threat to the others by being there or vise versa. trent would extort that b/c hes a dick

“caleb, unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who cares for you” you’re fucking correct Beau

“the problem with friends is that you have to care for them”

walks away “wow cool caleb! see- jester thinks you’re cool because shes your fucking friend!”

me too Tal “everything i like about those two characters in one conversation”

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5 years since Caleb left Trent and crew ie had a nervous breakdown

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gustav left town after being freed and trostenwald now has a WV accent that is too familiar

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100 extra soldiers in allfield. bryce is still up and kicking and wonderful. stuff ‘got this far east [quickly]’. the attacks came from underground apparently so fuck. the fields were burned, building destroyed a bit then they [Xhorhasians] left

“good thing is they’ve already been attacked so lightning doesn’t strike twice” oof thanks bryce

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beau just dead ass asking for illegal writing statements

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fjord having a thank u jesus bryce moment

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jester giving cad a pretty present is ‘so exciting’ and precious

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Cad not knowing cookbooks were a thing!!! and not being utterly literate enough to understand it

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wtf happened to liam’s voice in the ‘main export is oysters’ thing

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FELDERWEN!!!!!

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a dozen squads of 50 ppl each patrolling felderwen area so rippppp

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Nott knows where the halfing’s house is.... interesting... and is heavily drinking

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BLUE FLASH

elven woman in fine clothes of green and black ----lady vest durogna the arch mage of antiquity serboros assembly

a male figure in deep blue robes, older pale elf, fine clothes, the flash came from him----- martinette luden’th de____ arch mage of domestic protection

CALEB KNOWS THEM BOTH FROM THE ACADEMY AHHHHHH

he just lays flat and hides in the cart internally: ‘nopenopenopenope’

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several burned buildings, a warehouse, an inn, apothecary and several houses

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ohhhh shit the halfling was the owner of the apothecary and nott was looking for the shit she had been sending back this whole adventure....... im sad now that was confirmed

havent found a body of yeza

luke is yeza’s son at old edith’s house

halflings only produce halflings according to something i read at some point but forget where sooooooooo

shattered vials and materials and house stuff

CHILDREN'S TOYS

locked basement which nott knows of?? Nott is anxious and impatient when the door doesn’t open. jester fails, yasha rages and at a 19 and doesn’t break the door. ‘it wasn’t [trapped]’ but dispel magic worked to open it.

a 15′x15′ room, tossed ‘not like you remember’ to nott, a 2x3 iron chest. a single chair in the center of the room. definitely a struggle with heavy impacts and blade scratched on wall

nott was the torturer from the goblin tribe

chair was placed in the spot after the struggle

this was where he [yeza] kept chemicals according to nott

poisoned iron locked box (dull black glass) inside a retractable silver tripod to hold something atop it, 3 empty vials 1 full one with a liquid/gas fog like dull colored thing, a pile of destroyed notes [two pieces of still legible paper which have props]

dunamous field, causes ppl slow to be slower or faster, ‘captured crin operatives’ dunaments and dunamacy, origon gliffs, exist outside established schools of magic, theory in deeply rooted in arcana taken for granted, rooted in _____ town, 12-16 months to refine, word has found me that trent’s kiddos have knacks for this things, dreams are thrilling

well shittttt

crin on battle fields, ‘breaking fields of fate, fuck the raven queen

SHIIIIIT

a piece of dunemous

dodecha goes in tripod according to beau

chair facing chest

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cricks did this apparently

a little under 100 crowns guard killed, 4 civilians burned

soldiers just ‘slowed down’

left via tunnels and collapsed them behind them

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nott dont be a bitch and don’t get mad at caleb and call them ‘his people’

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cad picks up caleb and ‘youre not at fault here, youre the solution here. don’t let her anger... its not about you’

my HEART

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the chest is too big for the haver sack but fits in lorenzo’s bag of holding

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people have entered and exited since the attack and left the chair and stuff

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lots ‘o chairs

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nott needs to see ledith and uke (?) and not flip the fuck out

‘humble hobble’

nott looked like halfling plump face, braids, tan skin

edith- human older, grey hair, beady eyes, ever present smile like face

LUKE IS HER SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANNON

*edit- rewatching this and seeing ever one’s faces “wheres my son?!” particularly laura/liam/travis just hurt. liam just looked up after a second and travis did his face he does and laura just stiffened and eyes and hand to face. caleb/liam who knows just hugs himself the rest of the convo. marisha is note taking and fuck the video off now

about 5 yrs old, blue eyes, tan/light brown skin, halfling

gave him the doll of the king

IM GONNA CRY NOW BYE

‘HES PROABLY DEAD NOW TOO LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WER’

yenza locks him away when ‘the mean lady comes by’

mean lady has pointy ears and comes often, luke was kept in room, luke was pushed out of the house and told to go somewhere safe so he ran to edith’s house and ‘everything was on fire’

‘im not strong enough to come back yet but know that [im stll thinking of you and i send things] and i hope dad sends them to you.“ fuck my heart

“in my heart i think he is” “well don’t die”

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the elves are gong to the ruins of yenza’s house

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marisha looked so betrayed

tal ‘i was waiting for the riegel shoe to drop’

WOW

HEY CALEB- WOOOW

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we’ll pick up hiiiere

fuck you sam and matt and everything abou this my heart is just FUCKKK

ummm so enjoy the frantic poorly taken notes <3

#critical role spoilers #spoilers #lore drop #ohh shit #fuck you sam #not okay in the slightest why are you like this #i dont have words at this point

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