Bdubs: i did talk to him later about his diary entry where—uhh—the, uh, the kid said go brrt—"brrt"— to him and then, uh, ran away. uh—so, i talked to him about that. and—he said he really does feel like he's losing touch, and he said, like, "what's all this dark twitter thing?"
oh Etho, i'm so glad you asked! so i got to explain it all to him in-depth for about an hour. and as he perused the "slabtwt" he, ah—started gagging—but he knows, he knows!
yes! yeah, you think it was a big deal when i found you, now Etho's gotcha. he might not even interact, that's the scariest part, is he's not—i come in and i say "hi everybody! i found you!" he'd come in and he'll just stand there silent and look at you.
Chloe, thank you—for the $6.99—"why must you do this to us?" what? what—(laughs) you guys love it, c'mon.
i'm more famous than Etho! (pause) should be worried about ME. (pause) Etho might have more fans, and more people might love him, but as far as star power? i'm the ki—(laughs) the king.
Cal, thanks for the five. "i refuse to believe that Etho knows about darktwt shenanigans. standing there, menacingly. (copium)" he knows. i explained it to him, i told him exactly what to search for, and he—w—and—on the call he said, "oh! oh. (pause) ohh." (pause) and then silence.
don't worry, guys, he's fun, he's a valuable member of the community, okay? is—"stuff posted about Etho is a different flavor" it sure is. but that's fine. i had to teach him about shipping and all that stuff as well. but he's glad he knows now. (pause) (laughs)
(pause)
this is an even number roof. i'm sick.
(pause)
what?! (laughs) what! if you guys are gonna do the shipping stuff with me and Etho, then—a—a—and think he's not gonna know about it at some point, you're crazy. all right? these are the consequences.
(pause)
and HALF of that stuff he wouldn't be down for, anyway.
(pause)
(laughs)
(laughs) "only half?"
"billion dollar idea—Bdubs reads fanfiction ABOUT Etho TO Etho and records his reaction. i don't think his sweet Canadian heart could take it." i—c—no, it would never happen. it would never happen, i w—i w—i would pote—the, the idea of me reading it is very—you know, it's likely. anything for a billion views, you know? uh—i'd even act out the scenes, if, if it was a guaranteed billion. but—Etho—Etho's a better man. (laughs) he wouldn't lower himself.
everybody say thank you Etho for Bdubs' short king energy <3
TRANSCRIPT:
Bdubs: (reading a chat message) "Bdubs is 5'6" and we all know it." stop it, stop it! Pojster's seen me in—irl. he knows, take his word for it, you see. Whey, thank you for the five, here we go—"you're better than Joel," wow. "he straight up lies and says he's tall despite the fact that he's, like, 5'8"." yeeees, yes, yes, yes. yes. smallishbeans, i think we're talking about, yes, yes.
(laughs) i'm not that short, but i do, i do—i do allow the character to develop, because Etho invented it, and it's a funny meme, and because i stan and love Etho so much, i just go along with it. if he wants to call me (laughs) short, i—i love it, i'll take it.
and i do short people thi—(wheezes) i've got, you know what? i'm not that short, but i have, i have short people energy. short—short person energy. i think that's it. that's the best way to describe it.
yeah, it's funny, so, so Scar, you can count on him either defaulting at some point to talking about Disney or Star Wars—with me—with me—you can count on (laughs) defaulting—to talking about Etho. is that, do i g—do i have that right? (laughs)
but also, i take it as upon myself to help everybody learn, uh, to laugh at yourself. don't take yourself too serious, that's my life motto.
Bdubs: "I'm Key," thanks for the five euro! "since we're at the topic, uh, of shipping now, what's your opinion on it?" i mean— (laughs)
to be honest— (stutters) i'll tell you right now, i've never—i've never actually read one, okay, i ha—i got the idea. Cle— (laughs) Cleo had to explain it to me. um—
i'm—i'm all for, like, people taking characters and creating their own story from it.
(laughs)
"Cleo explained shipping to me." yes. um—
i li—i think that's fun, you know? you take your character and you create your own l—lore from it. i'd love to see somebody take Darth Maul and make a, a, you know, a Darth Maul story out of it. that'd be fun. i like that.
(laughs)
so go ahead, write your own stories. i don't know—you know, there are certain people that, like, they—their passion is, ah, romantic novels. and that's what they write! they write romantic novels! people—people—there're people with different interests and stuff. and you—you know, sometimes people just do it for the money, and maybe that's what the shipping is!
who knows, but. all that to say it's the weirdest craziest thing i ever heard of. um—and (laughs) i don't know what would make you so insane to think that it's a good idea to do it. uh—it's fine, it's fine!
Bdubs: so let's see how many levels this will cost us. five. "Beyonce". mm-hmm! wait a second—uh, guys, give me one second, okay?
all right, welcome back, so—uh, turned the music off there—but, i want to try this, so—"alt-0233". fricker! no! "alt-0233". no! can i copy and paste it? hold on...maybe i can copy and paste it.
copy—paste—haha! yes! okay! so that worked—oh. hopefully that works. that looks weird there, question mark? it seems to work there, let's hope it works on the horse. if not, it's gonna be "Beyonc". fricker!
uh, is it night again? it's night. that took a long time. (laughs) now i have Beyoncé pictures up on my computer, my wife's gonna kill me—why don't y'all grow? they never—never grow. that's weird.
all right, c'mere Beyoncé. (singing to the tune of Single Ladies) if you like it let me take it throw a ring on it, if you like it lemme take it throw a nametag on me—take it!
frickin' PISS. (laughs) "Beyonc, question mark—" (wheezes) oh, man, don't move, girl, don't move—all right, come on, come on (laughs) outside. (laughs)
come on outside, we're gonna get a screenshot of you—(laughs) hold on—oh, i gotta have my F1 on? i wanna get a good shot of her—come on! dadgum, stop moving, girl! there we go! stop looking at me.
well, i got another nametag, but for right now she'll just be "Beyonc". (laughs) Beyonc—"Beyonc? question mark?" (laughs) dang it.
i'm captivated by the way he speaks. (they're called machicolations, for reference.)
TRANSCRIPT:
Bdubs: now, i don't have the lava yet, but: we're gonna sacrifice some good looks for some very important safety measures. those—now, in a real castle they call those, uh, magi—machinellations! magica—magicalinalations! maginalations! magicallations! (giggles) they're murder holes? i think?
Etho: a-HA! all right, here we go! we got proof, now. (laughs) remember last episode, i had a conspiracy theory that somebody was messing with me; someone was removing the portal corners just to get to me, 'cause it bothers me. and there was a lot of counters to that in the comments, like "oh no, Etho, it just—it just happened that way, that's the way the portals were formed, nobody's trying to get to you"—but now, we have PROOF. it wasn't a person at all! the corners are just falling off! and leaving us messages.
there's so much going on here. pyro doesn't know how to banter to save his life. bdubs is making silly little threats and being paranoid as fuck, per usual. pyro breaks genny's surveillance equipment. a mess. i adore them.
TRANSCRIPT:
Bdubs: i build you this place, and then—six diamonds out of ten!
Pyro: i—i was a bit short on cash, ah, i didn't have the money on me, you know, i-i-i am a busy man, i like to trek back and forth.
Bdubs: (disbelieving) uh huh.
Pyro: my appointments (?) are limited—
Bdubs: you ever heard of interest?
Pyro: ahhh, maybe?
Bdubs: my fists.
Pyro: i di—o-oh, wow.
Bdubs: my right fist is "in," my left fist is "trest".
Pyro: is that a—trest? is that a name?
Bdubs: (stuttering) intre—in—er—TREST.
Pyro: oh, oh, oh, "trest," okay. i thought it was—i thought it was like "Trish," you know, like—
Bdubs (overlapping): (laughing) it's this stupid American accent.
Pyro: it was. it was okay though, but i did do, uh, business studies at high school. so that was okay.
Bdubs: oh!
Pyro: i am familiar with interest though! and uh...i don't know, i paid a little bit extra. go on, go and—go and check, it's over there if you want to check.
Bdubs: this will—this will help. (ghast shoots) hi! (ghast shoots, dies) this will help with the whole intersecting problem. look at all this flame, now. and i tell you what, i hate working in the Nether, i HATE IT. it's a nightmare; it's dark, it's gloomy, it's sad, AND! it smells bad!