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hardygalwrites · 1 year

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Originally posted to FFN around the 2nd of January, 2017

Simply archiving a writing challenge I did back in 2016 up to 2017 and featuring my favourite writing pieces from each week of the challenge here on Tumblr :]

← Week 20 (KO) – Week 22 (BB) →

Cartoon: Transformers Prime / Robots in Disguise 2015

Characters: Smokescreen, Knock Out, and Bumblebee, with appearances from numerous other characters (even ones not featured in the cartoons)

Synopsis: An Autobot Elite Guard rookie, a Decepticon medic turned Autobot, and an Autobot scout turned warrior turned street cop - three very different bots with a wide range of stories to tell. And we are going to spend the next year exploring said stories through daily-written drabbles, be they angsty, humorous, gut-punching, or just plain odd! Who doesn’t love a challenge? (2016 to 2017)

Note: Here is where some Bumblebee drabbles may get a tad confusing, as some of them are set during the war on Cybertron and thus feature the WFC version of Sideswipe. Just know that in my headcanon, more than one bot can have the same name. Thus WFC Sideswipe and RiD2015 Sideswipe exist in the same universe, but are just two different bots with the same name.

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This Isn't Over!

Bumblebee had been feeling uneasy all week, and sleep hadn't been coming easy. Frustrated and tired, he decided to go for a short drive. He didn't get far; the uneasiness that had been plaguing him all week attacked in full force, and he transformed, reaching slowly for his Hunter.

Then, he stopped himself. 'Ugh, don't be so paranoid. Nothing's out there.'

"Hello, Bumblebee," said a familiar voice.

He froze. "No..."

"I told you this wasn't over."

Bumblebee spun around, just in time to see a pair of yellow eyes glaring at him from the darkness before they leapt at him.

Versus

"Slag." Bluestreak lowered his rifle. "Sunstreaker's watching the flag."

"We need a diversion," Sideswipe muttered. "'Bee, make yourself a target."

"What?" the youngest Autobot exclaimed. "Why me?"

"You're loud, you're noticeable, and you 'killed' Jazz. If we could stand to lose anyone, it would be you."

"I'm sorry, I'm just not that great a shot!"

"Add that to the list of reasons we could stand to lose you."

"I'm not gonna give myself up to Suntreaker!" Bumblebee hissed. "He takes the game way too seriously!"

"Yeah, me too."

"Who died and made you leader, anyway?"

"Jazz. After you 'killed' him. Now get out there!"

Survivor

"A fight. Hand to hand combat, just you and me. If you win, then I'll let your friends go." The warrior indicated towards Grimlock and Strongarm's unconscious forms. "If I win, well..." He shrugged, chuckling. "I'm sure you've read my rap sheet. Use your imagination."

Bumblebee lowered his weapon. "Deal."

"So eager! I admire that." His opponent loosened his joints confidently. "I should warn you though, I was a gladiator - a survivor of the Pits of Kaon. Consider that."

"And I've faced a few gladiators in my time. So far, I'm still standing." Bumblebee raised his fists readily. "Consider that."

Dilemma

"You're old enough. Remember the War?"

Bumblebee's optics flickered to the bot's armed blaster as he replied. "Yes, I remember."

"Then you know how brutal the 'Cons are. How much those slaggers just love bringing destruction and misery wherever they go." The bot approached Bumblebee, optics pleading for him to understand. "You know why I'm doing what I'm doing!"

Bumblebee vented deeply. "I of all bots know how... brutal the Decepticons can be. But the War is over. And Primus, I know that doesn't make anything that happened better, but we can't go around killing other bots because of it. Not anymore."

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heartbreakfeelsogood · 1 year

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omg what how long have you been a fan? you def gave off like fellow 2014 emo trinity tumblr survivor

this is the best ask i’ve ever received LMAOOO one time i said i should start lying and say i got into fob at fourteen and it’s nice to know that would be believable. anyway the truth is it’s been about/almost three years

#i think it would be funny to just start lying and saying i started listening to them when i watched one tree hill in 2015 #asks #anon #testimonials #because i think giving off ‘2014 emo trinity tumblr survivor’ should be on my resume

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haikuswithdani · 15 days

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over soon.

Alone in a room that was bathed with sunlight, he said that he loved me. His fingers were huge.

I was 3, and there’s so much I don’t know. Just, “it’ll be over soon.”

They didn’t love me like he did. I tried to run once (maybe more?) but they caught me and threw me, pinning me down before…well.

I still study ceilings when I’m scared.

I could never fight back. I could never run. I could never find words. I could only wait.

“It’ll be over soon.”

I was 9 when the bath was too shallow to cover my head, but I tried.

I was 12 with a scar down my wrist when they said it was just a fad and how could I be so selfish?

I was 13 and starving eating mostly NSAIDS when they said I just wanted attention.

I was discovered and selfish, Dramatic and untrustworthy.

What I was, was beaten.

They swore, they swore, they swore it was a phase it would get better.

“It’ll be over soon, you’ll see!”

I was always naive but I was always desperate. I was tired of waiting for it all to be over.

He ran his hands all over me breathed down my neck laid on top of me & wriggled and laughed when I fought.

I was public domain.

He wheeled up behind me and pulled me into his lap the off-kilter feeling was so familiar. I searched for a pattern to study

I can still feel his grip on my breast his mouth on my jaw someone peeling him off finger by finger.

“Why didn’t you fight?” “Did you say no?” A lifetime taught me to wait silently. After all, “it’ll be over soon.”

I try not to dwell on these things, you know. But the memories, depression, death wishes remain. And I can’t decide if it’s okay to think on good days and bad days alike:

it’ll be over soon.

#2013 #2014 #2015 #abuse #trauma #childhood abuse #abuse survivor #trigger warning

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naoa-ao3 · 7 months

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Perdition

He was just a kid. A stupid dumb kid who had been suckered. And now he was damned. Remy crawled out of the sewers, the little girl wrapped in his arms. He was bleeding on her and she was shaking. Maybe he was the one shaking. He didn't know. There was blood everywhere and he left her crying in the street, wanting to put space between himself and the disaster and knowing he must get to a doctor. He walked away unsteadily. People would find the girl. He knew that. He had to count on that.

As he stumbled he silently cursed. He was done with Sinister. Sinister had both saved his life and damned him to hell. He couldn't take what he had done but couldn't stop walking either. He was bleeding badly. His stomach was shredded. He stumbled into a hospital, collapsing in the waiting room under the blinding white of florescent lights.

When he awoke again he was hooked up to a machine and the steady beeping it made told him he was alive. Everything hurt and he could barely move. He wished he wasn't. He was in so much pain. He drifted to sleep again.

The second time he awoke his head was clearer but he was in just as much pain. Knowing he couldn't stay he unhooked himself, darting away and stealing a pair of scrubs. And just like that he walked out of the hospital.

Only a few blocks away his posture fell and he doubled over, carefully lifting his shirt to check the bandages. He was not bleeding and he was glad of that. He continued on, shaking as he went. It was probably too soon after surgery for him to be moving. He got as far away as he could before crawling into an alley. He could sleep there. It was a warm night and he could make it. He had done so as a child. He curled up and slept. When he awoke it was day and he felt just as awful. He rose unsteadily to his feet and headed on. He had a locker full of cash in the gym. That was his first stop.

There he grabbed as much as he could and found a gym bag full of clothes to steal. Once changed he was back on the street, looking more or less like everyone else. He checked the newspapers. There was no mention of the morlocks, Maybe the surface would never know.

He wondered if maybe he should try and go back down there. But he didn't. He knew the people he'd lead wouldn't be sloppy. Everyone was dead.

He shook violently as he stood. It was his fault. Innocent people, maybe hundreds, he didn't know, all dead because of him. And the the thought that maybe Sinister wasn't through with him either. He trembled more at the idea. He'd sold his soul to the man what more could he want? He crawled away to a motel and hauled up, trying to heal.

Once his head was clear he found sleeping hard. Every noise outside the door made him jump. He slept with a card in his hand. He was too nervous to eat and too jittery to sleep. When he did occasionally drift off he would jerk awake from a nightmare. It was getting out of hand. He didn't sleep, he didn't eat. He'd gone by the place he'd left the girl but she was gone and no one knew where. He hoped she was somewhere good because if she wasn't then it was one more bad thing that was his fault.

Guilt was consuming him. Panic over took him quite frequently. Sometimes he swore he could head Sinister laughing. Like it was all a joke. Like all those dead people and his own damned soul was a game. He hated it. Shadows made him jump. Shadows that looked like the devil. Like Sinister.

Dogs growling reminded him of Sabertooth. How he had ever sat at a table with that monster of a man was beyond him. The others. . . he couldn't get them out of his head and as he drempt of sewers that ran blood he woke up choking. Gasping through the smell of iron and blood. Water tasted dirty in his mouth. Anything good felt undeserving.

Food felt gross and indulgent. Even liquor had lost it's taste, although he still drank it. More than he had before. Balancing between fear of being caught off guard drunk and a want for escape. Sometimes even alcohol couldn't keep his demons at bay. Sometimes he couldn't drink enough and sometimes he just made himself sick, hurting his insides that always screamed at him and begged him to stop drinking.

Time had little meaning. He stayed couped up in the motel, sheets getting dirty as he awoke covered in sweats night after night. Hos room was a mess but he wouldn't let the maid in. it was his mess and he had to live in it.

He was losing himself. Nothing was constant other than the pain and his own guilt. He could hear screams even when he wasn't asleep. He hated it. He hated himself.

A little over a week later he couldn't take it. He thought he would go mad. Death seemed the only worthwhile option but even that he feared because he was surely damned. What good was it to escape hell on earth, only to be thrown into eternal damnation?

He went to a priest as a last straw.

"Father I've sinned." He said, not even asking for a blessing.

The priest asked him how long since his last confession. He said he didn't know and lost his voice. The priest was kind and told him to take his time.

"It's all my fault." He said softly.

"What is?" The priest sounded kind and kindness was suffocating.

"They're all dead because of me."

And this alarmed the priest. "Who's dead?"

He couldn't say so he went on. "I didn't know they were going to kill them! I swear I didn't but it doesn't matter, I killed them." The priest asked him to slow down, said he couldn't understand his accent. He tried again. That morning there had been reports of bodies turning up in the sewers. He told the priest that it was his fault and the priest told him to get out, told him it was a joke but he assured him it wasn't and this time the priest was horrified. "I've done an awful thing father., I need. . . can I. . . I need. . ." He wanted to ask for forgiveness but couldn't. He felt dirty. Too ashamed to ask.

"If you've done what you say, then you need to go to the police." The priest advised.

He looked up, he could only see the dim outline of the priest through the screen but the idea horrified him. "I can't!"

"The you don't really want to repent. If you won't accept the consequences then how can you expect forgiveness?"

He knew that was right. He shuddered and pushed the door open, leaving it ajar behind him. Back out onto the crowded street he stumbled, feeling lost and sick to his stomach. No salvation for what he had done. He doubted very much that turning himself in would help any either and he cursed Sinister and his own weakness. Oh God, he had let himself be used so easily.

He felt so sick.

He stumbled on, rejecting food and sleep. Jumping at every sound as though tit were a marauder ready to finish him off.

It was two weeks before he noticed a real change in his wounds. They were healing. He was glad of that. It eased the pain. Movement became more easy. Yet the guilt did not abate. Thoughts ran through his head that he had never done a good thing in his life. He'd spent it as a thief and yet could not entertain the thought of changing. He lay in bed miserable, sprawled out and limp. There was nothing in him. He felt twisted and empty.

It was a month later exactly that he was contacted by Sinister who made it quite clear that he had known where he was the entire time. Sinister laughed at him, sneered at him. Told him he was a wast. Even thanked him and then left him with his head spinning and a stomach that had him running for the bathroom. He puked a lot. Somehow his stomach seemed weaker and between the binge drinking and the puking it wasn't long before he was truly sick again. He could barely take it anymore. He felt awful. He felt pathetic and disgusting.

When he was well enough he tried a caper. Took a job stealing a painting and found only a slight lift of his spirits. An adrenalin rush was much needed. For once his heart beat fast and loud not in panic or fear but in excitement and that was all it took for him to throw himself into work. Yet in the back of his mind he remembered that it was just another sin and he had made up for nothing. Redeemed no part of himself.

Even with the small grace he got from a job his empty time was filled with twisted guilt and thoughts he could not escape. Demons chased him through his dreams without end and life had taken a turn towards an endless kind of perdition. Worse yet he yearned for a kind touch or some gentleness in his life but there was none to turn to. He could not return to his family and he had no one. Empty sex was just empty and as of late it had seemed pointless.

As he went on even the thrill of a job seemed to lose it's spark. He was truly losing himself.

And just when things seemed to have reached their terrible pinnacle he found his saving grace. A young girl, pursued by wicked forces was just his chance to save what little self he had left. She was young and helpless to his eye and he could redeem himself by her. He saved her from an evil he did not understand and she in turn saved him. She was kind and strong and not nearly as helpless as he had first supposed, although she was more so than she herself thought. And they latched on to each other. He called her Stormy and loved her instantly. She was courageous and good and many things he wished himself to be.

The spark in her rekindled his spirit and he thought that if only he could look after her and keep her well than maybe he might have a shot at redemption and for all her bickering she loved him greatly and it was a blessed thing to be loved by another. Her courageous little heart was passionate and witty and she was so many things he admired and she put him on a path to goodness and offered him the ultimate chance with the team of mutants known as the X-Men and even when she was no longer a little girl he loved her. She kept him rooted and understood him. And he loved and thanked her beyond any other.

#fanfiction #gambit #remy lebeau #old fic #written in 2015 #so not that old #fanifc #ao3 #xmen #x-men #x men #angst #survivors guilt #hurt no comfort #confessional #injury #blood

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cosplayamaradolce · 8 months

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A throwback to when I was fixated on the horror pixel game, Lone Survivor. I had to cosplay the main character even though I knew not many people knew about the game!

#my cosplay #video game cosplay #lone survivor #pixel game #colossalcon 2015 #survival horror #“you”

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sgt-mark-smith · 11 months

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You shouldn’t have done that.

#the haunting etc #sgt mark smith #mark smith #manaaki kokiri #harry smith's ghost #when we go to war miniseries #when we go to war 2015 #ur dead bestie is haunting you in a very het way #manaaki's ongoing survivor's guilt #cissy's letter #wwgtw s01 ep06

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alliepsmithh · 5 months

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israel posted a video of them giving water bottles to palestinians on a beach, then destroyed their luggage and shot at them after they stopped recording.

israel posted a photo of one of their soldiers "assisting" with an elderly man, then they shot him twice in the back and killed him.

in 2015, the idf posted pr photos of an israeli soldier giving water to an elderly palestinian woman, only for them to execute her after the photo was taken.

in 2005, an idf soldier emptied his rifle into a 13-year-old palestinian schoolgirl. he said he would have done the same thing if she was 3-years-old. he was acquitted of all charged.

israel claimed that hamas beheaded 40 israeli babies and then a month later cut off power to a palestinian hospital where premature babies were on incubators.

israel bombed a group of children collecting rainwater.

israel shot and killed two palestinian children playing with their scooter.

israel shot a hard of hearing girl in the face with a stun grenade and broke her jaw.

israel is using bombs with blades that are designed to cause maximum damage to the person in range.

israel forced medical workers at al-Nasr medical center to leave babies in incubators in order to evacuate the hospital they were bombing.

israel turned off power to hospitals in palestine, forcing nurses and doctors to use their phone flashlights when treating patients.

israel raised their flag over Al Shifa hospital.

israel has blown up the chambers of the palestinian legislative council.

israel targeted a "suspicious vehicle containing several terrorists”, meanwhile the only people in the car were three girls, ages 10, 12, and 14, their grandmother, and their mother. the only survivor was the three girls' mother.

israel planted a copy of mein kampf in a children's bedroom in a gazan house they claim hamas was hiding in.

israel poured fake blood onto the floor of an israeli child's bedroom and claimed hamas killed them.

israeli soldiers posted a video of them dancing on gazan graves.

israel posted a video showing a calendar in a palestinian children's hospital was a hamas guard list because it was written in arabic.

israel was using white phosphorus on hospitals.

israel bombed a refugee camp.

israel has burned olive trees in palestine.

israel has put cement into the water supply of palestine.

israel claimed that they found tunnels under Al Shifa hospital, only for it to be exposed that those tunnels are actually in sweden.

israel built a bunker and command room under Al Shifa hospital in 1983, only for them to now say that they are hamas tunnels.

israeli police arrested an israeli high school teacher, who posted on facebook expressing sympathy with palestinian civilians who have been killed.

israeli soldiers filmed themselves throwing a stun grenade into a palestinian mosque.

we are witnessing a genocide in real time framed under the guise of stopping hamas. israel has been terrorizing palestine for as long as israel has existed, but their access to technology and social media has made it much easier to fool people into supporting them.

meanwhile, noah schnapp is posting that zionism is sexy and celebrities are standing with israel. just absolutely twisted shit.

edit: for those who would like sources, my twitter is alliiesmith. i have retweeted everything i’ve mentioned. i apologize for not providing this sooner

edit 2: i’ve had some people in the replies and reposts pointing out that linking my twitter seems like promotion. i just wanted to clear up that that was not my intention. i’ve been retweeting resources and news much faster than i’m able to add to this post, and i thought that my twitter profile could be something of a hub for information. i don’t care if you follow me, but i think scrolling through and seeing what i’ve retweeted could be helpful.

#*#allie talks #israel palestine conflict #israel #idf #palestine #gaza #west bank #politics #current events

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