#super soldier
Text
In it together
Hiii. I am alive, just very busy and overwhelmed with living ig. College fucking sucks and so does everything else rn, but figured i get a lil blurb out before i have to lock back into my classes. hope you enjoy!! don’t really know what ima do w my series or when ima update so i am sorry bout that LOL. anyway bye for now 👋👋
You were absolutely exhausted. A 2 week mission with only 3 hours of sleep total takes an intense toll, even if you are a super soldier. Letting the burning hot water run down your back , flashes of the recent mission ran through your mind. The experiment files were horrific, so many deaths, so many children.
You had only been at the compound for about a year and a half now, the team rescuing you from Hydra’s control like Bucky. You were free of the brainwash but not of the memories and this long ass mission had brought it all right back to the surface. It was getting better, your in therapy, bonding with the team, learning how to control your strength, your growing. But this mission, feels like it’s all about to come crumbling down. It made you feel sick. Thoughts of losing yourself, the team… of losing, Natasha, it burned your throat.
What you have with Natasha is confusing, complicated, but nice. No one else knows the true nature of it but you two. Falling into each others beds continuously for the past 8 months, staying tangled in each other, every single night, cuddling, and giggling like little teen girls. The team simply thought you guys were close friends, both you two being spies, it wasn’t too hard to hide your extracurriculars. But you both knew it was more, so much more. You held each other in the most gentlest ways…the most loving, opting not to leave one another when you guys inevitably came undone. In front of the team, you had a front, a quiet brooding one, but with her, it was peaceful, relieving, you felt free, like yourself. It was absolutely terrifying.
Not realizing it tears were beginning to mix with the water running down your face and crescent marks formed in your palms from clenching your fists too hard. You love her. You’re in love with her, but how could you tell her, would you. Your whole life you’ve been used as a weapon, serving for the military, then hydra. You were dangerous…a monster. It was late, almost 2 am, you couldn’t go to her now, she need rest, not a burden. no matter how much you yearned for her warmth. Turning off the burning water, you stepped out into the steam filled bathroom. Drying off, you wrapped the towel around your waist and another draped over your shoulders, you opened the door to your bedroom-on your bed sat Nat. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, her hair was slightly ruffled, she wore an old shirt of yours, and some of her loose sleep shorts. She looked absolutely stunning, you couldn’t help but give a soft tired smile.
“hi.” she spoke softly with a matching smile.
“hi,” you answered stopped in place just taking her in.
“you gonna get dressed,” she smirked tiredly, “tho i don’t mind.”
“oh really” you joked walking over to her and cupping her face as she looked up at you, “i missed you,” you spoke softly the tiredness bringing out a transparency.
She leaned into your hand closing her eyes, “i missed you,” she answered. Your heart swelled and the flashes came back, you could hurt her, what if you lose it. Suddenly taking a step back her cheek still warm from your touch, her eyes flew open. You turned your back, getting dressed by your closet, “is everything okay,” she asked as you pulled your tank top over your head and braced yourself against your dresser.
You opened your mouth unsure what you wanted her to know, “yeah,” was all you could muster.
“I really did miss you,” she walked up behind you wrapping her arms around your waist and leaning her check against your back, just enjoying your smell, “i don’t sleep well without you anymore.”
“me either,” you turned around wrapping your own arms around her middle and looking to the side as hers went to your neck, “it was a rough mission,” you mumbled
“oh, baby,” she spoke, moving her hands to your face this time, “look at me please,” your eyes were burning with unshed tears as they met her soft deep green ones, “oh, my love, it’s okay,” she brought your head down to her shoulder as you released a shaky breath and let your arms fall from around her waist, “is there something else,” she asked dropping her own hands. You walked past her to sit on the bed not really sure where to start as you looked at your hands in your lap, “we don’t have to talk about it, it’s okay,” she spoke sitting beside you and gently take your hands in her own.
You finally looked back at her face, your eyes still glossy. You stared deep into each others eyes, “you’re so beautiful, Natasha,” you said memorizing every detail of her. She laughed quietly as a soft blush rose to her face.
“Shut up,” she said putting her forehead against hers.
She closed her eyes at the action as yours remained open, “I mean it, you’re the prettiest girl there is.”
Her blush grew as she pulled back and looked away slightly, “god i love you,” she mumbled out casually bringing shock to both your faces. She immediately pulled her hands away and stood from the bed, her mouth opening and closing unsure what to say as you looked at her, overwhelmed with emotions, “y/n i’m sorry i-“
“You do?” you asked getting up from the bed with her, “you love me?”
“I..” She spoke uncertain, taking a deep breath in, “y/n i’m in love with you.” You laughed slightly in disbelief. You moved towards her with purpose grabbing her waist and pulling her into a bruising kiss, pouring every amount of love into it as possible, like it was the last time, like you were consumed by everything Natasha. You both grinned wide into the kiss, forcing the two of you to break apart.
Taking a deep breath, “Tasha, I..,” the thoughts all came rushing back. Your going to hurt her, you don’t deserve this love, your going to lose it all.
She moved her hands down from your neck to intertwine with your own, “I know,” she whispered.
“I really do,” you said, your foreheads still pressed together, “I..,” your mouth fell open and closed absolutely terrified to say something wrong, “Im just scared,” you mumbled, closing your eyes, but never dropping your hold.
“Don’t be,” she answered, moving her hands back up to cup your face, “we’re in this together.”
#enhanced!reader#marvel fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff#super soldier#natasha angst#angst with a happy ending#fluff#marvel#black widow x reader
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Desperate People find faith.
Bucky Barnes x reader
An accident mends your broken heart.
A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.
I read this amazing oneshot, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. So I added my own twist to it. Thanks to the wonderful writer for sharing it and for inspiring me.
Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me
TW: Bullets and blood. Mentions of torture but nothing explicit
Main Masterlist
You knew you shouldn't have done it. You should have stayed home. What could barely be described a home. You should have minded your business. You should have acted like the civilian you are now. You shouldn't have done it. But your loyalty to Steve wouldn't have let you
The image of the cheap copy so-called Captain America holding the shield blasting all over the news was a hit. A gut-wrenching hit. There was a guy who was taking the place of your childhood best friend, the man you called brother, the fearless leader. And he looked happy doing so. Then the blond had the audacity to say that Steve felt like a brother to him. You felt physical pain that you almost threw up.
Rationality went out the window. Before you knew any better, you were tracking down the man who was handed your friend's legacy. The man who gave it away when there was nobody more deserving than him. It wasn't hard to know exactly where Sam Wilson was. You were aware he joined the Air Force once again. So you hijacked the location of his next mission, demanding answers.
But it appeared that you weren't the only one who had the same plan. As you were talking to Sam, trying to be as nice as you could, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him you weren't here to judge or pick a fight. You just wanted an explanation. You heard him.
"Shouldn't have given up the shield."
His voice was filled with anger. But you could hear the sadness hidden in his tone. Sam scuffed, walking away from you as well. You turned around and you saw him. The love of your life. Quite literally.
You fail to recall a time you weren't in love with James Buchanan Barnes. Growing up together, your trio was inseparable. You would never see one without the others. From the age of three till your twenties, the three of you were more than family.
Despite loving Steve like the brother you never had, the same couldn't be said about his best friend. Your feelings for the brunette were never platonic. Neither were his. In the second grade, he promised to marry you once he got older. And he did. He kneeled to the ground with a beautiful golden ring for you once he secured a job. It was the easiest yes in your life.
Loving him came to you naturally. Stolen glances. Sweet words. Fast heartbeats. Shy smiles. Gentle touches. You were each other first everything. It was like you were made for each other. Like you were born to love him.
And he was your perfect man. Every woman envied you. Every woman hoped to have someone look at her like he looked at you. Every woman wished for a man who treated her the way he treated you. Every woman prayed for a man to love her that much.
Bucky Barnes was head over heels in love with you. And he made sure he showed it.
You were the luckiest girl.
Up until your luck ran out. War knocked on your door like a hurricane, destroying your life.
You remember the night before Bucky was shipped. When you went home after what couldn't be called a double date at Stark expo. The promises the both of you made. Your dream wedding. Your house. Your family. Your kids. All of it. Your future. And you believed him. You couldn't fathom any alternatives.
So when Steve walked in your tent where you did your job as a journalist, who was asked to cover The Howling Commandos missions and subject their heroism to the public, you knew. The look of utter defeat in his face, his glassy eyes, his red nose, the way he was trying to shrink away in his new huge body, you knew.
Your heart was ripped and broken to pieces. The pain was suffocating. You were drowning. You felt like the world ended. Life stopped.
You don't remember how things went after that. You don't remember if Steve ever said the words to you, but you remember his promise of revenge as he held your sobbing body against his chest.
And he did. He ended Hydra. But it came with a price. Very high. After Steve's sacrifice, life became meaningless. You weren't living. You were barely breathing. You were alone.
So when the government asked you to write the final article about the war, the winning announcement, you were about to turn it down. You found difficulties in everything. Leaving your bed sounded like a tiring task. Eating felt like a punishment. Functioning like a human became a burden.
But you remembered how supportive Bucky was of your career. When every man let women their abandon their dreams, Bucky helped you fight for yours. And he gave his life for this victory. Your fiancée and bestfriend. You owed it to them. To be the one to report the triumph tinted with their effort and blood.
So you put in all your strength and travelled with the small team to write the most important piece of work in your life.
However, only a number of people of the team and the article made it back. You didn't.
On your way back, you were ambushed by unknown soldiers. They took you to unknown quarters. You were so confused until you saw that cursed symbol. They weren't gone. Neither was your fiancée.
And that began a lifetime of torture and pain. They brainwashed Bucky but left you with your memories. So when they threatened to hurt him, you caved and let them do whatever they wanted to you. It was a trap they built for you, and you fell in it every time. They would hurt both of you at the end.
You endured it all. You survived it all. Except the moment they made Bucky look you in the eyes and fight you. They erased you from his mind. You saw the love of your life, and he saw nothing. He looked at you and saw either an enemy or a mission partner. And that was the most painful torture Hydra put you through.
As if this wasn't enough. You had to face a hindrance you never thought of.
After Steve rescued the both of you, after him running away from you, after spending two years making amendments with the government and helping Steve search for him, after the accords and Zemo's predicament, after he remembered you, after Princess Shuri was able to give him back his freedom, after you hugged him as he cried, after you decided to finally have that wedding, Thanos happened.
You believe you did something so terrible in another life, and you were getting punished for it in this life. There was no logical explanation as to why this kept happening to you. Why were you robbed of any chances of happiness. Why did you have to watch your man disappear right after having him back. Why you could only feel ache and misery. Why was the world so cruel.
So you kept your hopes to minimum when Steve came to your shared apartment one night, telling you that they had a plan. You agreed to join them in the time heist, ready to be disappointed.
But the second you saw Bucky standing on the sides with his machine gun, you wanted to cry. You thought it was an illusion, but these blue eyes said something else. Now, you were fighting with a strong drive and purpose.
You thought that was it. Your happy ending. You finally had him. But Steve leaving tore you apart. You were happy for your bestfriend who finally did something for himself. However, you couldn't help but feel sad. At least you and Bucky had each other.
Bucky had another thing in mind. Because, a couple of weeks after Steve leaving, Bucky broke up with. He said he needed to figure himself out and work on his pardon. You understood. But it didn't make it any easier.
So you left, giving him all the space he needed. You hadn't seen or spoken to each other since. At least he is alive. That's what you kept telling yourself to find any sort of comfort or condolence.
So this was the first time you had met. He looked different. He cut his hair. He had a scruff. He was wearing an all black outfit. He had gloves on. He had little bags under his eyes. He looked good overall. That's what mattered to you.
"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam said as he walked with intentions to move away from Bucky.
"This is wrong." Bucky didn't give him the chance as be walked beside Sam, without batting you an eye. You couldn't say that didn't hurt but you followed them anyway.
"Look, I'm working, alright. So all this outrage is going to have to wait." It was clear that Bucky wasn't here to have a civil conversation like you.
"You didn't know this was going to happen?" Bucky accused Sam.
"No, of course I didn't know that was going to happen." Sam was quick to deny Bucky's accusations.
"You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out and call him the new Captain America." This was more directed towards you, following up to your conversation before Bucky cut in.
"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky wasn't going to back down.
"Oh my god. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind. " Sam's sarcastic reply did nothing but annoy Bucky's more.
"Like I told your wife. There is nothing we can do. You just couldn't wait for her to get home." You looked at Sam. It didn't appear to you that he wouldn't know.
"We broke up."
Another wave of pain hit you as you turned to look at Bucky, who was still not looking at you. How easy could he just say it with no emotions at all. You were fighting to get by every day, and he looked like he didn't care.
"What?!" Sam stopped suddenly once he heard Bucky's words, turning to the both of you.
"You,two lovebirds who literally broke laws to be together, broke up?" Sam couldn't believe his ears. He thought you would have gotten married by now. Your love for each other more epic than all the novels he read.
"Were you asked to give it up?" You changed the topic quickly, refusing to answer Sam's question or talk about your tragic love story. It hurt bad enough, and you didn't want to show it.
"Of course not." Sam heard you loud and clear. He also knew your question had pure intentions. You weren't here to offend him.
"Right, great reunion, guys. Be well." Sam turned to walk out, ending this conversation.
"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky was angry, and he was showing it. In the wrong way.
"This is what you aren't going to do. You aren't going to come here in your over extended life and tell me about my rights." Three of you came to a stop.
"It's over." Sam added, looking at you as you came to stand next to Bucky.
"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with."
And you hadn't rest since.
It was, indeed, big thing to deal with.
You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you impulsively followed Sam and Bucky into the plane.
It was a constant mess. The flag smashers. New super soldiers. Karli Morgenthau. Isaiah Bradley. Zemo. Madripoor. Power Broker. And the worst of them all. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. It never ended.
All that chaos was a good distraction. You didn't have time to think about your broken heart nor to think about the current nature of your and Bucky's relationship.
It was complicated and confusing.
You fought very well together. Your combined sets of skills were lethal. Your collective training and ability to work together kicked in when needed. Away from that, the both of you barely talked. You acknowledged each other existence. That's how you would describe it.
However, you couldn't explain why Bucky refused when Raynor asked you and Sam to join them in the session in the police station. Or why he always made sure you stayed at least an arm distance away from Zemo. Or why did he choose to be the Winter Soldier for the night instead of you compromising your identity that you kept a secret all these years. Or why, that day at Madripoor, he almost took multiple bullets for you. Or why whenever John showed up, his hand would always find yours.
You were thankful you didn't have the time to think about all of this because you were sure you would have lost your mind. You barely had your emotions in checks. And there was a lot going on.
Then it all went crushing. You would never forget this day.
You followed Sam and Bucky, running out of the building into the street, only to see the calamity that just occurred.
John Walker stood proud with the blood-tinted shield above the man he just slaughtered.
Instinctively, your hand came up to wrap around Bucky's bicep, looking for any comfort for the both of you. This scene would forever be engraved in your memories.
Three of you gave John some time. You stood outside of the warehouse he was in right now. You knew if you all went angry, the results would be catastrophic.
But it was anyway.
You let Sam do most of the talking. He was the best in this. If anyone could convince John to hand over the shield, it would be him. So you stood and watched. But it appeared that the time you gave John Walker to cool down only drove him more over the edge. So, with the three of telling him to give up the shield, John Walker lost his mind.
It should have been an easy fight. A veteran and an avenger and two super soldiers. It shouldn't be hard. But neither one of the three of you was fighting was the intention to hurt John. Unlike him, John was fighting to kill. With his new powers, he was uncontrollable.
You let out a high-pitched scream once you saw John throw Bucky away, electrocuting his arm, making him lose consciousness. Then you watched as he straddled Sam on the ground. You needed to act quickly.
You groaned as you got up from the floor, looking at the cut in your arm. Nothing too bad. You told yourself as you ran toward John tickling him away from Sam.
It was just you and him, now.
And it was brutal.
You were still trying not to hurt him too much. However, he was unstoppable. So when he figured that he would lose combat with you eventually, he retrieved to other options.
Picking the shield and throwing it at you for it cause a cut in your chest was enough distraction for him to take out the gun he kept in his suit and shot you.
The bullets found their places in your stomach and legs. He aimed for places that you wouldn't recover from. You fell to the ground, coughing blood, feeling the bullets rest so deep in your body.
John walked towards you with the shield. He looked at you. His eyes were showing insanity and rage. He lifted the shield up and hit you in the chest. The pain was like no other. And you knew that was it.
It felt ironic in so many ways. Your bestfriend's shield. The shield that presented all of Steve's values and beliefs. The shield that helped once save your life. Now, it was going to be the weapon to kill you.
Of all the ways you thought you would die in, this wasn't even close. But when was life ever fair to you? At least you would have peace now. Your dying wish was for Bucky to know how much you loved him and how you wanted him to be fine and happy. Because you loved Bucky more than life itself.
You tried to distract yourself from the excruciating pain by counting how many hits of the shield would it take to end you.
You counted two.
You started coughing violently as you felt a weight got lifted off your chest. All your body going numb for seconds.
You saw Bucky was up once again, and he managed to corner John with Sam, trying to break his arm to take away the shield.
You desperately tried to get up and help them, but your whole body was on fire. Why was the serum not working?
A breath escaped you once you heard the sound of bone breaking. Only to realize breathing hurt. Everything hurt so bad.
With cuts on your arms and face, bruises on your ribs, wounds in your chest, bullets in your stomach and legs, you gave up, closing your eyes.
Because of your agonizing pain. You didn't hear Bucky beating the life out of John after taking the shield. He didn't stop until John passed out.
Bucky turned around and saw a sight that came straight out of his worst nightmares. He had seen it too many times. Woke up scared and sweating because of it. A sight that he knew would haunt him more than it already did.
Your lifeless body in a pool of blood.
He took careful steps towards you, praying it would disappear, and this would just be a nightmare of his. But the sound of your faint heartbeats made it real.
"Doll." Bucky got on his knees next to you, holding your motionless body in his arm.
You hissed in pain as you felt a movement that caused all the pain in your body to stir awake again.
"Bucky." Your voice was a whisper. You were too tired to open your eyes, but the feeling of the metal around you was familiar.
"I'm right here, doll." Bucky may not let it show in his voice, but if you opened your eyes, you would see the fear and tears.
"I need you to stay awake, okay. Can you do this for me? Please, stay awake." Bucky never felt this desperate before.
"Help is on the way." The three of you had already arranged with Torres to have an ambulance on stand-by. You had a feeling things would go bad. But not that bad.
"I'm tired." The amount of blood you were losing was making you too dizzy.
"I know, doll. But you will be okay." Bucky didn't care about the blood getting all over him as he pulled you closer to him.
"You will get better. Because you have to." He was saying it more to himself than you.
"I prayed for this." Talking was getting too hard, but you had to tell.
"What did you pray for?" Bucky was doing anything to keep you awake. He needed to listen to your voice.
"To die in your arms."
Bucky felt the tears escape his eyes, falling down freely on his face.
"You aren't dying. You will be okay." You heard it. The shakiness of his voice.
Fighting the great pain you were in, you opened your eyes to look at him. You wanted to see him one last time. This is why you prayed to die in his arms. So his face would be the last thing to see. This voice would be the last thing you heard. His arms the last thing you felt. Your farewell to the cruel world would be with the man who had been your heaven on Earth.
You lifted your arm with a moan of pain before you placed it on his cheek. You needed to say it. You needed it to be your last words.
"I love you, Bucky. I loved you my whole life."
With that, the world went dark.
You didn't get to see the mess that Bucky became as he heard your heartbeats slow down. His screams and desperate calls of your name to wake up.
He was so blinded by pain that he didn't let the paramedics near, protecting your body until he realized who they were. They didn't try to fight him when he insisted on getting in the ambulance with you.
All the time you were in the surgery, Bucky was inconsolable. He didn't care that Sam and Torres saw him as he sobbed, sitting on the floor waiting for anybody to tell you were fine. All he cared about was that he didn't say it back. You could die not knowing how much he loved you. The thought brought new tears to his already puffy red eyes
He prayed to God and anyone that would hear. If you were standing close enough, you would hear him. "Please, don't take her from me." "Please, let her be okay." "Take me instead of her." "She deserves so much better, please."
In his long life that was filled with hardships, torture, and wars, this was the worst pain he ever went through. He could feel his heart twisting and breaking. Every cell in his body was hurting. The emotional pain turning physical.
His eyes were dried up. Cheeks stained with tears. His mind going through all the worst scenarios. None of them he would be able to survive.
He jumped up from the floor when the door opened, and a doctor walked out. His heart was beating a thousand miles a second. All these prayers never leaving his mouth. His last hope.
"She is okay."
Tears of relief fell from his eyes. You survived it. You made it. The doctor talked about your injuries. With medications and the seurm, you would heal properly. Bucky didn't pay attention. His mind focused on one thing. He needed to see you.
After knowing your room's number, Bucky didn't leave your side. The doctor told him it might take a bit for you to wake up, but he didn't mind. He would stay forever.
It wasn't long before you woke up.
You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights. The last thing you remember was the intense pain. It didn't hurt as much now. You just felt so exhausted. You tried to move your hands, only to be blocked.
You looked down to see Bucky holding your hand so tightly and his head resting next to it. You could tell his eyes were swollen and his nose was red. But he looked peaceful sleeping. You missed him so much.
Without much thought, you moved your other free hand to his head, playing with his hair. It felt soft under your fingers. You blamed the serum that made him wake up from such a simple touch.
You smiled softly as you watched him, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing. He looked confused until he saw you.
"You are awake." Bucky got up from the seat next to the bed.
"Are you okay? Are you pain? What hurts? I'm going to call the doctor." He was frantic. He only stopped when you held his metal hand.
"I'm okay, Bucky." You reassured him with a smile.
You repeated it a couple of times before he finally sat back down on the chair. That's when you noticed he was still in his suit that was covered in blood. Your blood.
After he sat down, he looked at your intertwined fingers together and couldn't help the tears.
"What's wrong?" You asked as you moved your thumb gently on his knuckles.
"You scared the life out of me." He answered as he wiped his tears away.
"Though we were used to this, Barnes." You replied playfully, hands still together.
"Not when it comes to you. Never you." Bucky was fast to respond.
"Nothing I haven't been through before." You said it casually. You didn't miss the look in Bucky's eyes. It held too much depth to it. You couldn't put your hand on it
"Is your arm okay? Do you need to get it checked?" Flashbacks were coming back to you bit by a bit. As you touched his metal arm, you remembered what happened to him.
"You are in the hospital bed, and you are asking about my arm." Bucky's laugh was dry. He would always be in awe of how caring you were.
"I will never stop caring about, Bucky. Even if you don't want me." It was true. Nothing could make you stop caring about Bucky.
"Don't want you?" Bucky couldn't let your comment go by.
"Yeah. You don't want me anymore. It's okay. I understand."
"You understand?"
"I remind you of a bad time. The worst. And you had to move on. You had to cut ties with all parts of this time."
"Is this why you think we broke up?"
"Isn't it?"
You started telling yourself this after the breakup as a way to pick the shattered pieces of your heart. Of course, he didn't want to be with someone who held their bad time as a constant reminder on her body as scars. Or with someone who went through the same hell as him. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn't so damaged.
And you understood.
"No, it isn't."
He was planning to tell you everything but not right now. But words just fell out from the tip of his tongue.
"I don't look at you and see bad time. I look at you, and I see all my failures."
You looked at him, baffled, not getting what he meant.
"I remember everything."
You still didn't know what he wanted to say.
"I remember what Hydra did to you. What they made you do for me. What I did to you."
"Bucky.."
"How they pushed you too far in the lies of not hurting me. How they made you watch as they erased you from my mind. How they made me fight you. Hurt you."
You were about to tell him how you didn't hold him accountable to any of this because it was never his fault. It was never his intention. You were sure Bucky would never hurt you. The Winter Soldier not too. But he cut you off.
"They took you because they knew how much you meant to me. How important you are to me. I was the reason you had to go through all of this."
"I look at you and remember how I failed to protect you. When that's all I ever wanted in life. To protect you. But I failed."
"Just like I failed today."
Before you could say anything, he kept going.
"I couldn't understand how you could still love me."
"I looked at the list of people I hurt, and your name was first. And you wanted to help me. You wanted to stay by my side. I couldn't live with the guilt. I still can't. I had to let you go despite how bad it hurts."
"But, doll, I want you to be sure nobody will ever love you half as much as I do."
It took years for Hydra to remove you from his mind. But what they didn't know was that they never fully succeeded.
At first, he would forget his name but remember his girl and everything about you. Then they become harsher, so he would only remember your face and name. Then, it became only your face. Then nothing. The blank paper for them to write what they wanted.
However, whenever Hydra made the both of you train together or go on missions, he would get this rush of flashbacks like a movie playing in his head once he was alone in his cell. It would be you. In different places and different ages. The Winter Soldier would convince himself that it must be his memories from past missions. Effects of being wiped too many times.
The soldier was never able to shake the feeling of guilt after a training session where he would be instructed to be tough with you. A feeling so foreign to him.
He remembers the first time he refused to hurt you. They made him watch from far as they tortured you. Then they wiped him again. Every time he showed any sympathy for you, he was wiped and handled roughly.
But all the efforts weren't enough. You were the first thing he remembered once he settled in Bucharest. That's when the guilt came in. It was you. The love of his love. His fiancée. And they got to you. And he couldn't save you.
Even after the blip, His thoughts kept going back to how he betrayed you and hurt you instead of protecting you like he was meant it.
But the worst part was how he thought he didn't deserve your love anymore. He thought you would resent him. So he decided to break his heart into two. He left.
You were the forbidden topic that Raynor wasn't allowed to go near despite how much she wanted. You were the centre of his nightmares. All of them. Past memories of both of you at Hydra. Missions and trainings. And the worst, losing you. Watching you getting killed. Nightmares that invaded him, and he was defenceless.
"I love you, and I'm so sorry." Bucky laid soft kiss on your hand.
"Let me ask a question, Bucky." He looked at you, tears still filling his eyes.
You didn't expect this to be the real reason why you and Bucky broke up. But you should have known. He was too good of a man.
"If it had been the other way you around, wouldn't you have done the same? Would you have hated me then?"
"I would give my life for you without hesitation. And nothing could ever make me hate you."
His answer was fast. That was the only thing he knew about himself. You come first, always.
"Then why are you surprised with what I did? You don't love me more, Bucky." You laughed softly, already feeling your ribs ache a bit.
You always had this running joke that Bucky loved you more than you did. And to a lot of the extent, it was true.
"You didn't deserve it."
"Neither did you."
You patted the spot on bed next to you, wanting him to be close to you. And he listened. He sat on the bed, hands never leaving each other.
"Haven't we been through enough? Haven't the world tore us apart too many times? Let us have this."
If he still loved you, then you should be together. You should be broken together. You should heal together. It was poetic how even in pain, you were still together.
Both of you understood each other better than anyone. You shouldn't be separated.
"You don't hate me?" It was Bucky's worst fear and biggest doubt. If the damage Hydra did was unrepairable.
"I can live hundreds of years and still be in love with you."
You squeezed his hand to make sure he knew how serious you were. "You are all I have ever known, Bucky."
With that, Bucky got up and moved so close to you. Your faces millimetres away from each other. His breath fanning over your face. His personal scent with dust and blood engulfing you. His blue eyes warming the inside of you.
"I got the best girl of them all." Bucky kissed you.
It was a soft, slow kiss. A sign of starting over. Of getting back.
You smiled in the kiss. Bucky used to say this all the time back then. You were known as Bucky's best girl. He used to call you that.
You broke away, feeling so much better now. Bucky rested his flesh hand on your cheek.
"I thought I lost you. I was so scared."
"You didn't. I'm right here."
"Though you will leave me before I say it back." You looked at him, puzzled.
"I love you, doll. You are the thing I live for. You are the purpose of my existence. I love you so much."
You didn't care about the pain as you moved up to meet his lips one more time. And he kissed you back right away.
"You owe me a ring and wedding, Barnes." You joked while you brought your other hand to hold into his suit to ground yourself.
He laughed before he moved away for a bit, and you already missed the closeness, and he wasn't far. You watched as he brought his dog tags out. You saw something bright with them but couldn't tell it was.
"Oh my god." You felt tears gather in your eyes as Bucky brought out the shiny thing closer.
It was your ring. Your engagement ring. The ring Bucky put in your finger many years ago. It was it. You thought it must have been lost that you didn't try to look for it, avoiding the disappointment.
But here it was. Bucky was able to find it. And he kept it with his dog tags. So close to his heart. Where you belonged.
Bucky got in one knee in his technical gear in a hospital room with you connected to IV.
"Doll, will you marry me?"
You laughed loudly that you felt pain shot again in your body. Bucky was next to you in an instant when your laugh turned to a cough.
"Third time is a charm." You said as you gave him your hand.
With another proposal in Wakanda before the snap, you managed to get Bucky Barnes on his knees three times for you.
He put the ring on your finger and pressed a kiss on your hand. "It will be. Mrs. Barnes." The name always had its sweet effect on you.
Bucky leaned in again to kiss you. And this kiss felt out of the world. Like a lifeboat before drowning. Water after the drought. Your rescue.
It was Bucky's promise of safety and security. Nothing and nobody was ever going to hurt you again. A promise of a safe home. Together.
You kept your forehead resting on his as your hand found its place once again on his suit.
"No to be rude, but you need a shower, babe." You could feel the dust on his face and the blood dried on his suit and skin.
"I will be okay. Probably going to fall asleep." You didn't give him a chance to protest.
"Plus, you know. I like my man nice and clean." You pecked his lips playfully.
The sound of the word "your man" falling from your lips referring to Bucky made his heart do little dances. Damn right he was your man.
"I won't take long." He kissed your hair before he got up and left to get himself presentable for his lady.
The world felt lighter, brighter, better. You felt happy. You were happy. You looked at the ring that held huge meaning for you. You weren't hurting. You were finally okay. You had your man back.
Who would have thought a near death incident would be the thing to give you back the man who always brought life to you.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#tfatws#tfatws!bucky#tfatws!Bucky x reader#super soldier#the falcon and the winter soldier#james bucky barnes#40s bucky barnes#protective!bucky#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky fanfic#sam wilson#joaquin torres#Steve Rogers#captain america sam wilson#hurt/comfort#bucky barnes drabble#james buchanan bucky barnes#buckybarnes#bucky x you
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When You Wish Upon a Star
Summary: You and Bucky Barnes have grown close, bonding over sarcasm and shared trauma. You make it your mission to help Bucky experience all the joys of life that Hydra took from him. A little Disney magic is the perfect place to start.
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader (platonic)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: A few curse words and references to past trauma.
A/N: Who wouldn’t want to go to Disneyland with Bucky?
It was always the same. Your eyes shot open as the sensation of falling washed over you. Slowly, you rolled over and lifted your head to check the clock. 3:12 am. Fucking perfect. After a couple of deep breaths, you lifted your tired body off your bed. You throw on your favorite sweatshirt before opening your door and shuffling down the hall.
It was dark, but you knew the way by heart. A frequent late-night visitor to the compound halls thanks to your PTSD. Your nightmares came in bunches, and when they did you needed a distraction when you woke up to keep yourself from spiraling down completely. You reach the kitchen and are just about to open the fridge when you see the outline of James Buchanan Barnes sitting on the sofa in the dark.
“Bucky? What are you doing out here?”
“Moonlighting as a vampire”, he grumbled.
“You know, I usually just take your hundred-and-eight-year-old sarcasm at face value, but it’s late and I’m genuinely curious”, you said, as you sit across from him on the sofa. One leg tucked up under your body and your arms crossed over your chest to keep yourself warm.
Bucky looks over at you stone-faced, but you can tell he’s trying to read you, searching for an ulterior motive. The gears are turning endlessly inside his head. After about five seconds of silence, you decide to return the favor. There are dark circles under his eyes and his disheveled hair is standing on end. You can tell has been up much longer than you.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, sorry. I thought we were having a staring contest”, you said lightheartedly to cover up your attempt at reading him. You can’t help but notice the small smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth, disappearing as quickly as it came.
“Do you ever feel like you don’t matter? Like, despite it all, you’ll never be free of the pain?”
“All the time”, you stated without hesitation.
He turns to you with a furrowed brow and a look of surprise.
“What?”
“Nothing, sorry. It’s just, in the past when I’ve said that to people they usually give me a bunch of hollow platitudes,” Bucky said.
“Well, that’s not me.”
“Me either.”
That was the first time you and Bucky had a bonding moment. Moving forward there were many more late-night talks and quietly waiting up for each other. A movie always queued up to help pull each other back into the present moment after a mission. You could be alone together in a way that you couldn’t be with anyone else. It stumped the rest of the team, to say the least. Two people who would rather silently take in the world around them than be forced to speak had become best friends.
*^_^*
You wiped the perspiration off your forehead, sitting against the wall in the gym after a joint training session. Bucky insisted on helping you improve your hand-to-hand combat skills. He noticed you had gotten a bit complacent in relying solely on your powers. After you arrived home from your last mission with a black eye, Bucky was adamant about training you himself.
Taking a sip of water, you turn to Bucky, “Have you ever been to Disneyland?”
“You ask the most random questions, and no. I remember some of the original Disney cartoons, though. Steamboat Willie, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Before we started moving around to different army bases, my parents would give me a dollar and I would walk to the movie theater in Shelbyville, Indiana. They would joke, “Don’t spend it all in one place, James”, he said with a smile that slowly faded. “After my parents died, I stopped going to the movies. And… the Winter Soldier never had a vacation.”
It was only in the last few months you started to notice Bucky differentiating himself from the Winter Soldier. You assumed it was thanks to Dr. Raynor and his pardon-mandated therapy, but he would never admit it was you who was helping him see that the Winter Soldier and James Bucky Barnes were not one and the same.
“Well, something to add to your list then. Come on, dinner is probably ready,” patting his thigh. You mentally file away what Bucky shared for later. There was a whole new life for him to live now, and you were determined to help him do it.
A couple weeks later you and Bucky are infiltrating an old Hydra base off the grid. A simple in and out to retrieve a backlog of digital files, and you were back on the Quinjet within a couple of hours. You offered to pilot the jet home while Bucky took a nap. He awoke a few hours later to you poking him repeatedly on the shoulder with a dorky grin on your face.
“What?” Bucky groaned, wiping his hands over his face. “Are we home?”
“No, we’re making an unscheduled stop,” you said, as the super soldier sits up.
“Where the hell are we?” Bucky walked to the window surprised to find no landing pad, no buildings, no New York.
“Surprise, Buck! We’re going to Disneyland,” you declared. “I cleared it with Fury. We have tomorrow off, and I already sent the files we retrieved to Maria with a written debrief. We’re officially off the clock for the next 36 hours.”
“No, Y/N. I’m too old for this. What if someone recognizes us?”
“First of all, you’re too old for everything, but that doesn’t matter in the Happiest Place on Earth. Second of all, I’ve got that covered,” pulling a change of clothes for him out of your bag.
You both change and are about to depart the jet when you remember one more preventative measure. You grab both your suits and fiddle with them for a second before removing two of Tony’s trackers.
“This trip will be our little secret”, you wink.
You departed the jet and activated stealth mode at the top end of the Mickey and Friends parking structure, away from prying eyes. After a short ride on the tram and walk through security you’re standing at the top of Main Street USA. You look down at Cinderella’s castle as the sights, sounds, and smells of Disneyland envelop your senses.
“Okay, so I thought we could hit Adventureland first. Jungle Cruise, Indiana Jones, just to get your feet wet. Then we’ll do Frontierland and New Orleans Square. Wait until you see Pirates of the Caribbean! Oh, and Fantasyland has the Matterhorn, I have a feeling you’ll love that ride. Then maybe we could grab dinner at the Jolly Holiday cafe and watch the fireworks. That will leave us with Tomorrowland tomorrow, no pun intended. Finally, I thought for shits and giggles we could check out the Avengers campus in California Adventure Land before we leave.” you rambled happily. You finally look up from your park map to see Bucky eyeing you like you are speaking another language.
“Sounds great, but how are we paying for this? I doubt it’s on Shield’s payroll.”
“Ask and you shall receive”, you said with a devilish smirk, as you pulled Tony’s Black Master Card from your pocket.
“Where the hell did you get that?”
“Tony’s wallet. You’re not the only superhero here remember? Plus, Nat has taught me a thing or two about pickpocketing over the years,” you grinned. “Come on James, we’re going to spend it all in one place this time,” linking arms with the super soldier who simply rolled his eyes.
The next day and a half was a whirlwind of Disney magic. You went on every ride you possibly could. (You may or may not have hacked into the fast pass system to make your wait times in line as short as possible). Bucky made you go on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad twice and didn’t judge you for screaming in a way that would be considered very un-heroic by your teammates. You bought him personalized Mickey ears with his name embroidered on the back, and it only took ten minutes of arguing to convince him to wear them in a picture with Mickey. Meanwhile, Bucky took every opportunity he could to capture your Disneyland experience. Discreetly snapping a candid photo or filming as you happily sang along to the music on every ride.
After a good night’s sleep in the jet, the two of you made your way over to the Avengers campus in California Adventure Land. “Well, they got the aesthetics right,” you remarked. Taking in the scenery and park guests clad in Avengers merchandise.
You took a selfie in front of the Avengers campus sign that you immediately made your new lockscreen. It took a couple minutes, but Bucky found a spot for both of you in front of the compound to watch The Amazing Spider-Man! Peter welcomed the guests and conducted various flight tests in his new suit. There were flips, jumps, and web slingers galore. Each move executed smoothly, until he tripped over a few boxes and landed flat on his face.
“Yeah, that’s about right”, Bucky joked as you nod in agreement.
The campus is full of cast members dressed as all of your teammates interacting with park guests, Dr. Strange illustrating the mysteries of the Mystic Arts, and the Warriors of Wakanda demonstrating disciplines of the Dora Milaje. After exploring a bit, you decided to take a seat outside of Shawarma Palace to rest your feet. You both removed your hats and are scrolling through your phones when a curly-haired little boy wearing glasses and an Iron Man t-shirt quietly approached your table.
“Hi”, he whispered shyly.
“Hi, what’s your name?” you smiled. You put your phone down and place your hand on top of Bucky’s hand. The gears turning in his head like the night you found him on the sofa in the dark.
“James”, he answered, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet. You looked over at Bucky as he visibly relaxed and smiled.
“Are you Bucky Barnes and Y/F/N Y/L/N?” he asked. Pushing his little glasses back up the bridge of his nose.
“Why do you think that?” trying to hide your grin.
“I have a poster of the Avengers in my bedroom! You look just like them, and umm, we learned about you at school. Oh, and I had an Iron Man cake for my last birthday. I got a helmet and everything!”
“That’s amazing, James! Iron Man is my favorite Avenger too.”
“Hey?!” Bucky said.
“Okay, original Avenger.”
You look over at Bucky eagerly. He seems to read your mind and nodded in agreement.
“We’ll let you in on a little secret, but you have to promise not to tell anyone,” you whispered as you motion for James to come closer. You hold out your hand and focus as small blue sparks dance around your palm.
“Woah!!” James yelled.
“Shhhh,” you giggled.
Bucky looks around carefully before taking off his glove and rolling up his sleeve to reveal his Vibranium arm.
“That’s so cool,” James said mesmerized.
“We’re here on confidential Avenger business and we must keep our cover. Can you help us keep our identities secret?” Bucky asked as he rolls his sleeve back down and put back on his glove.
“Yeah!” your new friend exclaimed proudly.
“Thank you, James. You will make a great Avenger someday,” Bucky said.
He gave the small boy a fist bump, and you do the same. James walked away proudly, and you can’t help but look over at Bucky. Your eyes shining with unshed tears.
“That’s why you matter.”
For the first time in your friendship, you think he believes it.
The sun begins to set as you both stroll out of California Adventure Land. Bucky is about to suggest walking across the street to wait for the tram when he sees you running back toward the Disneyland entrance.
“What are you doing? We need to get going. I’m sure everyone is already freaking out that our trackers are offline” Bucky shouted.
“There’s one more thing we have to do. Come on!” you yelled, motioning for him to follow you. You lead your best friend back down Main Street USA before stopping in front of the cinema. You waited for him to catch up to you and pointed up at the marquee.
Main Street Cinema Presents:
Steamboat Willie
Plus six great original Disney cartoons.
I thought you might like a little walk down memory lane before the clock strikes midnight and we turn back into pumpkins.”
Bucky stared at the marquee for a few seconds before looking back at you. Before you can ask him what he thinks, he embraced you in a hug. You walked inside and strolled from screen to screen. Taking in the nostalgia of the classic black-and-white Disney cartoons. You reached the last screen just as Mickey began to whistle the theme to Steam Boat Willie. You glanced over at Bucky and noticed his eyes shining with unshed tears this time. You rub gentle circles on his back until the credits roll.
“Thank you, Y/N”, he sighed, wiping his eyes. That meant a lot to me. This trip meant a lot to me. I never thought I’d say this, but I loved it.”
“You’re my best friend, Buck. You deserve to experience all of the beautiful moments in life. It’s never too late. Hell, everyone should have a first trip to Disneyland. I’m just glad I got to do it with you”, putting your arms around him. “Come on, let’s go home.”
Back on the jet, Bucky offered to pilot so you can get some sleep. Fortunately, the night air is calm and clear, so after about an hour he put the jet on autopilot and sat down next to you. The super soldier gently covered you with a blanket before pulling out his phone. He can’t help but laugh at the sight of the two of you sharing a giant Dole Whip or screaming as the train dipped and dove on Thunder Mountain. For the first time in forever, Bucky sees himself smiling and almost doesn’t recognize himself.
You finally stirred when the wheels touched down on the compound landing pad. Bucky had yet to notice you’re awake. Preoccupied with shutting down the jet and grabbing both your bags. You lay there silently as your eyes followed him. You smiled to yourself as you heard him softly whistling “When You Wish Upon a Star”.
Mission accomplished.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x y/n#winter soldier#mcu#the avengers#fluff#disneyland#super soldier#super powers#vibranium#white wolf#james buchanan barnes
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Your girlfriend used to be a supersolider. I mean physically she still is, but she doesn't work as one anymore because of an injury taking away the use of one of her arms. She's been through a lot, she's been fighting for longer then unmodified humans tend to live, even with life extension technology, she's been fighting for longer then even the planet you're on has been colonized by humans. The empire she fought for is long gone, but she's still here.
She looks strangely inhuman. Her body looks almost like a statue, she's so perfectly lean and muscular, but in an almost inhuman way. Her eyes are strangely colored, and her skin has pieces of machinery sticking out of her. She's more human looking then the cyborgs you tend to see throughout the city, but there's something most people consider off about her. People always act uncomfortable around her, especially since her body language is kind of stilted, and her face doesn't show emotion, it makes her think of herself as less human than she is.
She's strangely skittish due to her past. Robots always scare her, even ones you consider small and cute. Occasionally she'll see someone with a visor covering their face and she'll want to avoid them due to some memory she has about that. She can't sleep when spaceships are passing overhead, and you'll have to hold her and comfort her until the sound ends.
Most people you meet just walking around the city think of her as being sort of creepy. A lot of your freinds talk behind her back about how she's killed people before. A lot of people think she doesn't feel emotions just because her body doesn't show them, a lot of people think it's impossible for her to love you.
You do your best to make her feel safe. You pet her skin, and kiss her a lot, and play with her hair. You feel the need to make her feel comfortable again. Whoever made her into what she is now took away her ability to feel sexual pleasure, but she seems to enjoy pleasuring you. She wants to cry when she lays her head agaisnt your breast, but her eyes can't do that anymore.
She seems to so often feel like a monster, feel like something designed to hurt people. She's so aware that her body itself is built as a weapon of war, that it makes her feel like violence itself is her nature. But you tell her that she doesn't have to be violent anymore if she doesn't want to. And you call her pretty, people have said a lot of things about her body, but you don't think anyone has called her pretty before.
#196#my thougts#worldbuilding#writing#my worldbuilding#my writing#super soldier#space marines#cyborgs#cyborg#scifi#scifi writing#scifi worldbuilding#scifi whump#sci fi writing#sci fi#science fantasy#science fiction#yuri#wlw#monster fucker#monster lover#hurt/comfort#short fiction#short story#flash fiction
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Judgment League Avengers Unlimited.
pencils and colors: Mayday Trippe
inks: Diego Moreno
#amalgam#comics#superheroes#marvel#dc#fan art#mayday trippe#batman#dark claw#super soldier#speed demon#amazon#captain america#Mashups#animated series#homage#dcau#iron lantern
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Predator/Captain America
#predator#the predator#yautja#captain america#steve rogers#super soldier#sentinel of liberty#iban coello#art#artwork#illustration#comic art#comics#comic books#superheroes#marvel#marvel comics#marvel universe#pop culture#crossover
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just for fun.
“It’s not even that serious, just for fun”
You tell your best friend for the umpteenth time as she rolls her eyes at your comment.
“Just for fun?” She repeats you, which makes you look back at the screen connecting your video call, was it delayed??
“Y/N…there’s so many reasons why you shouldn’t be doing this..” her serious voice comes over the speaker but you can’t help but smirk at her.
“Ergh, which is probably why you want to do this right? For the wrong reasons?” She asks you as you fake your offence at her words with a dramatic grab to your chest.
Yes, you were perhaps showing your rebellious side a little too much with this latest antic of yours.
But being brought up in the Stark family, it was almost inevitable that you would bend the rules.
And if there was a rule to say ‘don’t fuck around with any of your Dad’s work colleagues” then you’re definitely a rule breaker there.
*ping*
Your phone lights up the same way your face does when you see who the message is from.
Completely ignoring your best friend asking if it was him, you open the message as your heart starts to pick up its pace.
Doll?
You awake?
He was never the best at messaging but then again he was over a hundred years old.
“You’re not seeing him tonight are you?” Your best friend asks you as she sees a cheeky grin flash across your face, confirming her thoughts.
“Y/N! Your Dad is home” She almost shouts as you bring your fingers to your lips to shhh her.
Yes you were in your own room a whole floor above your Dad’s and Peppa’s bedroom but you never know how good a hearing they might have these days.
I’m up Soldier 😘
You type back to him as you quickly say your goodbyes to your bestie.
“Stay safe you absolute nut case!” She half laughed as she switched the end call button.
You quickly discard the over sized tee you had been lounging in as you rummage around for a better looking top.
You’ll keep your leggings on, one day you might meet up with him in a skirt or dress, I’m sure he’ll love you in one but for now it’s trousers of some kind seeing as you’ll be climbing out the window in a moment.
Your Dad gave you the best room available inside this compound.
Up and away from the others, it was almost an attic room only sharing its hallway with a storage cupboard on the end.
With massive floor to ceiling doors leading out to a balcony which was linked to the side alley of the building.
I mean, who wouldn’t choose to sneak out once in a while when it was set up so perfectly to do so.
ETA 23:05
You giggle a little at yet another blunt message as you carefully slide the door shut behind you.
A quick glance from left to right just in case anyone else was out for a midnight stroll, you hopped over the barrier and almost silently climb down the railings framing the side wall. You landed perfectly on that one soft part of grass to muffle the sound of your boots.
You’ve become a pro at this now, being the 6th or 7th time you’ve met up with the super soldier on the sly.
It always happens the same way, you’ll bid your good nights downstairs to him in the common room along with the rest of the avengers on camp and then a few minutes, sometimes hours later, your phone will ping with the same messages.
You wait in the shadows for him, you’ve always liked this part.
The hiding down the alleyways, the hushed voices, the standing flush against the wall with that cool metal hand of his wrapped around your mouth, keeping you quiet as you’ve had to wait for the coast to be clear.
You lean your head against the wall, looking up to the stars as the feel of the brick mixed perfectly with the rising heat of your body.
“Doll?” You can hear his smile through the whispering of his voice.
You know he can see you perfectly with his heightened senses but you can only make out it’s him by the faintest of light bouncing off his arm from the lamp post nearby.
You loved it when he didn’t cover it up.
“Waiting long?” He asks you but doesn’t give you much time to answer for his lips are already on yours.
You almost gasp into his mouth as his whole body leans into yours, pushing you further into the wall you were stood against.
“Sorry” he grins at you as he pulls away, leaving one hand casing your face.
“Been a long day?” You ask him. You could always tell if it was a good or bad day by the urgency he gave you when you met up with each other.
Some nights you’ll just sit in the dark somewhere and talk absolute rubbish until it was almost dawn.
Other nights he could barley contain himself and would pounce on you as soon as he laid eyes on you.
He was one of the best kissers you had.
Despite him saying he was lacking experience giving his past, you longed for them each time.
You’re not sure what you wanted from this.
Yes, your bestie thought it was purely about hurting your Dad but you can’t lie and say you didn’t find the super soldier very attractive.
He stood out to you the first day your father had introduced him, he didn’t want to touch you, not even for a handshake as quoting his words ‘he thought you were made of glass’.
You quickly taught him just how tough you were when he watched you train with Nat.
You can’t even remember how this came about and yet it was only 2 weeks ago, if that.
You enjoyed being with him so you just left your thoughts at that as he grabbed at your leggings, pulling them down to the tops of your thighs.
“here?” You breathed, the feeling of his hands on you where you needed it most causing your voice to waiver.
“Here” he smiled at you before kissing you deeply.
Groaning slightly into your mouth as his fingers pushed inside you.
“Fuck doll, so wet already?” His deep voice against your lips sent shivers down your spine.
You expected him to lift your leg up, wrap it around his waist.
If he wanted it here then the best way was to fuck you up against the wall but he took you by surprise as he spun your whole body round, you were now facing the brick in front of you.
His fingers never leaving their place buried inside you, you were so focused on the feeling he was giving you with the teasing of his hand that you didn’t quite hear the undoing of his belt.
Only realising that he had his cock out when you felt the tip of it pushing against your ass cheeks.
You’ve lost count the amount of times you had both slept together in the small space of time you had been meeting up like this but you still were in awe at the size of him.
Pulling out of you with his fingers, he pushes your underwear to the side so he could line himself up with you.
You shuffle your feet slightly, parting your legs to widen yourself.
The gravel underneath your boots being the other sound apart from both your rapid breathing.
“Ready doll?” He whispers into your ear as he gently bites at your neck.
He’s not silly, he won’t make any obvious markings on you, no matter how bad he wants to.
He makes a quick glance from left to right of either side of the alley, like it’s not too late to get out of this situation if someone was to catch the both of you.
He grabs your waist a little too tightly as he pushes his cock inside you.
You both groan out in sync.
He fills you to the base as he stalls his movements, feeling your walls contract around him to fit him inside you.
A quick kiss to your neck, that had already started to sweat a little, he pulls out of you just as slowly as he went in.
You want to push your ass outwards, not wanting him to leave you but you’re quickly taken by surprise as thrusts hard back inside you.
You moan out loud as you feel a hand of his grab you by the back of your neck.
“Shhh doll” he tells you as he jerks his hips up, pushing deeper.
You bite your lip as you know you have to be a lot quieter than you’re being right now.
“This…” he plants a kiss on your cheek as he starts to talk to you “is going…to be hard” he kisses your neck again “and fast…” his kisses become tiny nips at your skin “I’m going to need you to be very…” he trails his mouth down your neck “very… quiet for me ok?” He brings his gaze back up to yours “can you do that for me?”
You bite your lip as all you could do in answer was to nod your head slightly.
You knew how hard he could go, you literally broke the camp bed you had both been fucking on a couple of nights before.
That was a difficult one to explain to the team.
“That’s my girl” he says to you as he kisses you
hard once more.
Your lips are almost swollen by the time he’s finished and pulls away.
He adjusts his stance a little, pulling your hips out a bit further away from the wall so he can angle himself better.
You take a deep breath as you lean your head against your arm that was holding you up on the wall, balling your hand into a fist after that first deep thrust he gave you, wishing you could cry out.
He lands a slap to the flesh of your ass before picking up his pace.
The noise of his skin against yours was heavenly.
You honestly couldn’t care if someone else could hear this right now.
His pace was something else.
You don’t think you’ve ever been fucked this fast. You don’t think any one can fuck you this fast ever again.
The brutal force from his hips was causing your whole body to move alongside his.
If he wasn’t gripping so tightly onto you, you’re sure you would have been fucked into the wall rather than up against it.
The movements were causing your arm to drag up and down the wall, the sting of the bricks biting at your skin, grazes forming across it.
You’re sure you can taste blood also as you bite harder into your own lip to stop yourself from moaning out loud.
And you just know the imprint from his hands are going to be left behind for a few days.
But you can’t feel any of that, you feel only him.
The way he’s reaching so deep inside you.
The way he’s holding onto you, like he never wants to let go.
The way he’s also struggling to keep quiet as your cunt grips him so perfectly.
You start to see stars as you’re sure he’s close also.
His hips start to falter their movements as his hands move away from yours, trying to grab at the flesh of your ass instead, as well as pulling on your hair to steady himself.
You want him to finish, you want to feel that familiar feeling of filling you up with his come but you also don’t want this to end.
You know it’ll only be a few more days, hell, could even be tomorrow night that you next see him but you still want to milk every moment with the commander.
“Fuuuuck” he makes one last stifled moan before almost collapsing against you, the whole weight of himself leaning into you causing you to almost face plant the wall.
You laugh slightly as you’re pinned between him and the brick.
“I…Er..Bucky?” The strain of your voice causes him to come back down from his high.
“Sorry doll” he breathes out as stands up straight.
Pulling out of you as you feel his warm liquid start to drip down.
He tucks himself back into his combats as you can barely stay stood on your feet right now.
Turning round so you can lean your back up against the wall to better balance yourself whilst you pull your leggings up.
You notice him just staring at you as you try to catch your breath back.
“What?” You barley whisper out, feeling like the air had been fucked out of your lungs.
“How you going to haul your ass back up that trellis?” He asks you, grinning from ear to ear.
“Ha..You can always carry me up?” you manage to say as he laughs.
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Steve Rogers Headcannon- why Steve was so against the Sokovia Accords (trigger warning as this analysis involves SA/r*pe)
I think we can all agree that the MCU absolutely desecrated Steve Rogers' character to the point where people actually believe he's a horrible person- especially after Civil War. But I've had this headcannon about why Steve was so vehemently against the Sokovia Accords and its never been more obvious after She-Hulk.
From the jump (CATFA), we see that the serum is generally regarded as "property of the U.S government/SSR" thus, whoever is injected with it becomes government property by proxy. Ironically, after getting the serum Steve's freedom becomes limited. He has to follow orders and put on a show for the senators because they're the ones who have the power and position to fund the fight against the N*zis. He's their dancing monkey. We even see evidence of this when Steve is made to parade about like a showgirl in this scene 👇
Now, throughout the MCU there's an ongoing interest in Steve's "virginity" and cheap jokes at his perceived lack of sexual proclivities. We see it in CATFA, CATWS, Avengers 1 & 2 etc. Which leads us to She-Hulk. There's this whole reveal in that one episode that Steve lost his virginity to a showgirl on one of the USO tours.
This is where my headcannon comes in.
I don't think he lost his virginity consensually. I think he was forced into sexual acts by powerful men like the senators and military officials who saw Steve as a literal puppet and of no true value as he was not being used in battle or the war yet. Remember, they initially saw him as a failure because the serum was lost and their plans for an entire army of allied supersoldiers were lost after Erskine died. Now, for anyone who knows the comic Steve Rogers, it's not in his character design to have sex with a random girl he just met on tour- a tour which by the way didn't last that long.
We did see, however, that Steve is easily taken advantage of, esp in this scene 👇
Which ultimately leads to my main point, Steve was against the Accords because he knew that giving up their autonomy meant physical, mental and sexual abuse. The government wouldn't just be able to control where they went but also who they worked for and as he said in CACW, "[the UN] is run by people with agendas and agendas change. If we sign the accords we surrender our right to choose."
Steve knows what that much power (over super-powered beings like the Avengers) can lead to and he doesn't want that to happen to them. Add on the very heartbreaking case of how Bucky's autonomy was stripped from him as well and that only strengthens his case.
I just find it hard to believe that Steve would lose his virginity so cheaply and honestly shame on the writers for even insinuating that. He was taken advantage of and assaulted and this is one of the main reasons why he's against giving up his freedom to the very same people who would use and abuse him without a second thought.
#marvel#ao3#captain america#steve rogers#avengers#tony stark#mcu#marvel mcu#she hulk#catfa#catws#cacw#ted talks#steve rogers headcanon#super soldier#pre serum steve#postserum steve#stucky#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#the winter soldier#justice for steve rogers#tw#tw sa implied#tw sa vent#anti sokovia accords#team cap#natasha romanoff#sam wilson#wanda maximoff
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Natasha should've been a super soldier and should've been born in 1928.
She's a cold war legend and fought in WW2, which is a really important event for her.
(*cough* Nikolai & Rose *cough*)
She was used for propaganda reasons, especially during the cold war, and the mcu was like: no.
Her being born in 1984 takes away a lot from her character (and created a plothole).
#marvel#natalia romanova#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov#natasha romonova#black widow#marvel comics#mcu#black widow comic#marvel rant#i wish we got more comic accuracy#mcu rant#marvel red room#natalia alianovna romanova#marvel cinematic universe#super soldier
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winter soldier ❄️
#drawing#illustration#fanart#my art#movies#character design#portrait#art#cartoon#digital art#winter soldier#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#captain america#steve rogers#falcon#sam wilson#super soldier#baron zemo#avengers#the avengers#homem aranha#hawkeye#artists on tumblr#original art#fandom#ilustration#digital illustration#ilustração#illustrator
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K132: TROOPER (INFECTED)
by Nivanh Chanthara
#tentacles#fhtagn#nivanh chanthara#k132#creature#trooper#sci fi#monster#super soldier#horror#infected#corrupted#concept art#chara design#biomecha#fhtagnnn
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Post-collapse corporate enforcer
The final (for real this time) character class for Cyberblood.
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Warlady Segmex
A bot who’s not afraid to get her hands dirty.
Source
Creator: Shorjok
#lego#bionicle#female#female moc#female warrior#feminine#warrior#robot#robotic#robotic unit#humanoid#humanoid robot#soldier#super soldier#faceless#visor#weapon#firearms#gun#shotgun#machine#war#war machine
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Does having the super soldier serum make sure you never need glasses to see?
Cause myopia and hypermetropia aren't infections, they're distortions in the shape of the eyeball, which causes the lens to either get thicker or thinner and changes the position inside our eyes where the image is formed.
Does the serum make sure your eyeballs never get squeezed or stretched out of shape?
#steve rogers#bucky barnes#marvel#marvel theories#super soldier#super soldier serum#captain america#winter soldier
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Here’s another special issue from the omniversal spinner rack. Back during Secret Crisis of the Infinity Hour, Spider-Boy’s symbiote t-shirt made its first appearance!
Prints now available!
Pencils & colors: me, inks: Diego Moreno. #amalgam
#amalgam#amalgaverse#comics#homage#spider boy#mike zeck#parody#symbiote#superboy#Spider-Man#dark claw#dc#marvel#secret wars#crisis on infinite earths#super soldier#first appearance#comic book#Mayday trippe#fan art#superheroes#costum design
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Nightmare
Bucky Barnes x supersoldierF!reader (smut and fluff)
I had this idea some time ago and I just wanted to write some stories with this concept of a ex HYDRA supersoldier reader known as Edelweiss...hope you like it 💜
Tw: mention of torture,mental manipulation, nightmares, smut.
You wake with the discomfort of your nightmare still clinging into your very soul, with unsteady hand you wipe tears from your eyes. You look at the clock on your nightstand : 4 am. You move out of the tangled sheets on the floor with a sigh, knowing that you won't sleep anymore so you better use this time to make some breakfast and maybe do a light stretching routine.
you move down the stairs aiming for the kitchen while mentally you're trying to distract yourself thinking of the things you must do along the day.
As soon as you go down the last step you hear a soft groan from the living room. you approach the cabinet near the entrance where you do keep hidden, in the drawer, some light weapons: a gun, a knuckle-duster, a pair of knives. Quietly you open the drawer and you reach the hidden knives, you take a breath preparing yourself to knock down the intruder. You silently enter the living room, knives in hands, your killer reflexes on high alert. You approach the couch where you heard the groan coming from and to your surprise you find your boyfriend, fully clothed from his last mission, lying there, snoring slightly.
Suddenly you feel like crumbling, you walk past the couch, resting your knives on the coffee table before curling up close to your boyfriend's face.
"Love...wake up..." you whisper softly in his ear, being very careful not to touch him before he wakes up. Both of you, with your murderous pasts, have had some trouble getting used to the intimacy of a couple's daily gestures.
He growls softly. "Bucky...love..." you repeat and he opens his eyes on you. He blink, disoriented before recognising he's home,rubbing his eyes.
"Doll..." he groans.
"I remember you telling me you would come home this evening..." you whisper while you gently caress his face.
"We finished earlier...and I was missing you....i had planned, after a couple of hours of sleep, to surprise you with your favorite breakfast, in bed...but it seems that you have surprised me..." he replies smiling and taking your hand and kissing the palm. Then he sit, pulling you in his lap.
You straddle him and he cups your face with both his hands before taking your lips in a sweet kiss.
"I need you Jamie..." you whisper against his lips, resting both of your hands on his chest. For a moment he tenses, you rarely call him that way.
"You had another nightmare?" He asks gentle, now caressing your bare arms. You nod, looking away as to direct your thoughts elsewhere.
"What do you need me to do, doll?" He murmurs softly while his vibranium fingers caress your cleavage through the fabric of his shirt that you wear to sleep,up to your neck until they reach your chin, taking it to make you look at him in the eyes.
"Talk to me, love...tell me what you need..."he repeats lowering his voice. He knows how much important is for you to make and express your choice as you were deprived of that possibility for a very long time, like him. You were tortured and abused as an assett in an HYDRA experimental base in the italian alps. He felt especially guilty about you, because it was him, well the winter soldier, who captured and give you in the hands of HYDRA' s team who experimented on you. He knows all about your conditioning as he perfected your combat skills and because you were made for him, to have a sort of distraction, a kind of stress toy not so easy to broke. Once he had back his mind he made sure to track down and neutralise all of the scientists that partecipated in the sperimentation and after the avengers captured you he made sure of being present in every aspect of your rehabilitation. He always had a soft spot for you and he knows how difficult is to be back after being brainwashed.
"Love me...please..." you whisper, choking a sob "make me forget their touch..."
He hums and take your lips in a breathtaking kiss then he slowly peppers your jaw with kisses until he reaches for the sweet spot behind your ear that makes you moan.
Your hands travel to his leather jacket, opening it and pulling it down his arms urgently. Now you tear apart his blue henley to let your fingers touch his bare chest, he growls and the vibration in his chest reverberates right between your thighs.
"I need you...i need you... i need you..." you repeat feverishly and he grabs the plump flesh of your cheeks to steady you as he stands up. You lock your legs around his waist, brushing your bare cunt against his jeans where you can feel his growing erection. He moves up to the stairs, into your bedroom and then he notices the tangled sheets of the floor, not far from the bed, which is untouched, since he went on mission.
"You slept again on the floor?" He asks softly. He used to do the same before knowing you.
"I cannot sleep in the bed if you're not there..." you whisper shyly.
"Now I'm here doll...I'll make you forget them...concentrate on me...on the pleasure I can give you..." he murmurs laying you down on the bed.
"You're so cute in my shirt...but I need to feel you..." he breaths before tearing the fabric apart with his vibranium hand. You usually sleep completely bare, cause you like feeling the warmth that radiates from his skin.
"It smells like you..." you whisper in response, explaining why you're wearing his shirt. You gasp as his mouth latches against one of your nipple. His metal fingers are tracing your stomach and down to your folds. You whimper and you open more your legs to let him have an easier access as he brushes the tip of his fingers on your clit and then down your slit.
"Please...please Jaime...I need you..." you cry out and he obliges kissing his way down to your cunt until his lips meet your swollen bud. You shudder as he sucks and licks with extreme precision, taking you right trough the edge.
"Oh god... yes... I'm cumming...I'm cumm.." you choke on your words when the orgasm washes over you. You move your hand to his head, intertwining your finger through his hair as he drinks your release.
He loves the way you wound your fingers through his hair, how you feel so safe with him to lose control and let him takes care of you without a single doubt.
"You're so sweet doll..." he growls between your thighs, humping lightly his clothed erection against the mattress. It's been 4 days without you and he feels like a man starved. He laps slowly now, letting one of his vibranium fingers testing your heat.
"God...please Jamie...don't tease...I'm ready.." you whimper as he let another finger in and slowly start to move them.
"You're not, doll...you know that i don't want to hurt you..." he replies sweetly, even if you're an enhanced human he treats you as you're a beautiful and precious porcelain doll.
"You can't hurt me..." you murmur disappointed but at the same time you appreciate his concern, how sweet and careful he can be, how he privileges your wellbeing instead of his own. He starts to move his fingers faster inside you and you moan arching your back, lost in the pleasure.
"You're so beautiful baby...so erotic...I'm so excited that it hurt..." he whispers against your center before he let his tongue caress again your clit.
His ruthless resolve to make you really ready for him excite you. His free hand now lingers on you stomach and up, reaching for one of your boobs to grop it softly. You feel the wave of another orgasm coiling rapidly into your belly, you tilt your head and a scream leaves your mouth, your legs quiver, trapping his head between them.
He drinks you in and when you're able to relax your thighs he emerges, his chin and lips glimmering because of your juices.
"You're so fucking hot when you cum..." he growls now unfastening his belt and opening his jeans to free his raging erection.
"Sargent Barnes, such an indecent language..." You joke looking at him with a fake indignant stare.
"Oh doll, soon you'll be the one talking an indecent language and you know that..."he murmurs hooking both of his hands under your ass to let you come closer before entering you with a swift thrust thanks to your recent orgasm.
"FUCK!" You cry out, shutting your eyes. He's completely bottoming out, balls deep and the sensation of being so full leave you overwhelmed. He stills, leaving you time to adjust to his size and breathe.
You let out a sob and a tear run down your eye.
"You ok, love?" He asks, a little worried.
You open your eyes and look into his.
"I...I..." you stutter, for a moment you feel dizzy and incapable of speak but you nod reassuring him. It's magnificent the sensation of being stretch out like this and your body shivers, unlocking the memories of your shared past. You whimper in ecstasy as it seems that your body was created to fit and mould perfectly with his.
He hugs you tight without moving, then he rolls so you're on top, straddling him. At the change of position your walls clench hard his erection.
" Christ..." he moans loudly grabbing your hips " take what you need doll...use me..." he continues brushing his fingers on your skin.
Suddenly you feel hot, you position both of your hands on the side of his head and then you lean to kiss him. You know that the words coming from his mouth are not said easily and you feel grateful to have this man in your life.
"I love you James...I love you so much" you whisper against his lips before starting to buck your hips slowly, savoring the sensation of him fully sheathed inside you. You move both of your hands on his shoulders and the on his chest, leveraging youself so you have more space to move.
"I love you too baby...ah...you feel so good..." He grunts, kneading the flesh of your hips, following your movements.
"You're so good to me...soo good to me..."you echo grinding harder, gyrating your hips finding your rhythm.
"Ah... you know i won't last long if you move like that...it's seems you want to devour me..." he manages to whisper between his moans.
"I'm just claiming what's mine..." you tut before he sit brushing his vibranium hand on your back til he reaches your hair, clenching his fist and pulling lightly. He knows how pulling your hair arouses you because he feels the same.
You gasp at his gesture, closing your eyes.
"You know it drives me crazy when you act like that..." he whispers in you ear before latching on your neck, sucking slightly and then he starts to pump his hips up.
"You're so fucking deep..."you moan scratching his back "I'm gonna cum again baby...I'm so close...don't you dare to stop..."you breathe helplessly.
"You're gonna cum around my cock, baby? Ah...Say it, like a good girl..." he gloat squeezing one of your ass cheek and pulling a little more your hair.
"I'm cumming...I'm cumming..." you whine holding onto him like you would hold for dear life. Your entire body shaking incontrollably as a series of little cry escape your lips.
Your walls squeeze him so hard that he can't control himself as he came inside you with a roar. He hugs you tightly trying to ease the quivering of your body.
"I've got you, baby...I've got you..."he whispers softly caressing your hair as you relax in his embrace, leaning in his arms. He lies down, holding you tight against his chest.
"You're safe, love...you're safe..." he repeats lulling you into sleep.
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x yn#james barnes#winter soldier#winter soldier smut#super soldier#bucky smut#bucky x y/n#buckyxedelweiss
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