🌻 Sunflowers 🌻
I stop in the field, my chest quickly expanding for air as I finally stop running.
My head still pounding from my thoughts flying a million miles an hour. I look behind me and see no movement through the green stems.
I take a deep breath and finally look up at the multi colored flowers above my head. Yellow, red, orange, and even purple sunflowers all faceing the opposite way I had come, towards the sun.
I slowly exhale, staring down at the soft grass below me, feeling as if time has slowed down in this moment.
I can hear the chirping of insects around the field, but I can't bring myself to move, nor to open my mouth and say something. I close my eyes and try taking slow breaths and thinking.
But everything was too much and it's hard not to feel so overwhelmed when you're in the middle of an unknown place where you don't know anyone or what you'll find on the other side of this field.
I feel like crying, but I just can’t find it inside of me to do that anymore.
Maybe I'm tired? Maybe I'm hurt? Or maybe I'm scared... No, definitely terrified.
It felt like every nerve ending had been set on fire, and I didn't know how to stop it. The tears were burning away my sight, my throat constricting.
My heart was beating out of my chest and I didn't think it would ever calm down again. I just wanted to scream and scream and scream until I couldn't breathe anymore.
So I did.
I just cried and screamed until I was out of tears and my voice too stained to even talk. The sun was setting, so I stood up and just watched the sky change before walking slowly out of the field and back to my car.
Had I changed anything? No, but I felt a lot better than I had in a while.
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I'm not into fanart mood lately, I experiment with acrylic painting... It's quite surprising I prefer to paint landscapes traditional, but for characters I'd rather to use my tablet.
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