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#stop putting her in shitty situations
moth-mart · 25 days
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"I need them to die in eachothers arms and for it to mean something" then proceeded to make a terrible. horrible punch to the gut
#o.#ow?????????#its. coming off the future alt but sona's afflictions go from being chronic to terminal#and because of the mutations to his vampirism the only way to survive is to feed off of gods#which they find out the hard way when he gets *really* sick and nothing's helping so they panic and Stylus kills a god#as a last 'out of options' resort and he feeds off it and it *works*#and they come to that realization and Sona refuses to continue like that because he says hes not going to live off of other people's-#suffering anymore. and so he makes his choice and at some point they go to visit Will who's completely cut ties with them because she#blames god's death on them being cowards who didnt try hard enough to stop her#which she isnt happy to see that and doesnt take the news well at all and states that theyre just throwing god's sacrifice away by#letting him die which makes the situation even more conflicting for sona who muses on how even beyond the grave#god's putting him in shitty situations. of either living selfishly off of others' deaths or seemingly having let her die for nothing#and will storms off and Caraway [who she's living with now] tells them to stay the night so they do#but it doesnt even matter cause Sona gently wakes Stylus up in the middle of the night and tells him hes dying and so#they sit with eachother and just talk softly and reminisce about meeting the other and they both agree they wouldnt trade it for anything#then he dies very peacefully in Stylus' arms#and will wakes up the next morning and comes downstairs and Caraway gently informs her and she runs into the other room#and Stylus is still sitting there in the same spot just. holding whats left of him. unmoved for hours#AND THEN I HAD TO STOP BRUSHING MY TEETH. CAUSE WTF. MAN???#the emotional damage may entirely be dependent on the emotional attachment level to these guys#and nothing otherwise but. if youre me. yknow. [shatters like glass]#MHMMH#cool#character death#I GUESS#sonaverse#delete tag#lore dump#very much a noncanon thing but. mmgnmgmg [wiggly sheet of metal noise]
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immobiliter · 2 years
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ROBIN BUCKLEY - biography  /  homelife
Robin's family tree began with a young Italian beauty called Franca de Felise, who immigrated to Clinton, Indiana in the late 19th century with her three brothers, all searching for a better life than the rural poverty they had grown up in and been orphaned by in Southern Italy. She went on to dazzle and marry an American carpenter, Thomas Buckley, for love a few years after arriving and the pair settled in a small town called Hawkins, where they had three children.
The eldest, Christian, grew up and made it his life mission to expand his father's business, branching out to Indianapolis where he met and fell for a young secretary in a passionate romance. However, when it came to the matter of marriage, her fiancé's insistence on being close to his mother in Hawkins following his father's death from ill health, as well as a looming pregnancy, meant that, for the young Susan Quincey, any high-flying career as a PA to a wealthy businessman in Manhattan or L.A was derailed. Almost overnight, she became a stay-at-home housewife, primarily responsible for looking after their new daughter Robin, born in March 1968.
Christian abandoned any plans to expand the family business so that he could remain close to his mother, and the family's finances took a hit. With his father gone, his focus was entirely on keeping the carpentry business afloat in Hawkins, which meant making certain sacrifices in order to keep his family fed. He could not be described as entirely absent from Robin's life (his mother had instilled the importance of family into him from a young age), but he would work long days and weekends throughout her childhood and the times he was around became very special to her. Despite these lengthy absences, Robin was always far closer to her father than she was to her mother.
Susan Buckley would never outwardly admit that she resented her daughter for robbing her of a successful career and life outside of the trappings of the mid-west, but the feeling would permeate nonetheless into the way Robin was treated. While at high school in Indianapolis, Susan had been top of her class, popular, and a cheerleader ---- completely normal, in other words. That made any initial signs that Robin was slow to develop as a toddler difficult to deal with: the story that she took six months longer to learn to walk than all of the other babies became one that was repeated over and over in Susan's social circle, and all of Robin's accomplishments (or lack thereof) as a child were constantly compared to her peers.
Robin's struggles with her coordination and social skills, as well as her loner attitude at elementary school, were issues that Susan believed could be solved by enrolling her daughter in extracurricular activities. Robin was given the choice of a sport and she picked the soccer team, which she continued to be a part of until her sophomore year of high school, and she was enrolled in marching band, where she learned the trumpet. She continued in marching band throughout her school career, giving her the comfortable label of band nerd that she embraced as her allotted place in the Hawkins High food chain. To deviate in any way from that label would be dangerous.
Robin's parents' marriage was not loveless, but it remained strained throughout her upbringing, with neither side willing to concede to divorce. Christian had been brought up to prioritise family as the most important thing in the whole world, and he would often be the one to concede and try to make things work between husband and wife, while Susan was too afraid of the reputational harm leaving her husband might cause. Instead, she sought to live vicariously through her daughter's achievements, which put extra strain on the relationship between mother and daughter as Robin never showed the desire nor aptitude (at least in her mind) for the kind of high-flying career that her mother had always wanted for herself.
Italian was spoken frequently whenever her uncles or nonna visited, and knowing that her family originated from Europe inspired Robin to take a particular interest in the learning of languages as a teenager, opting to teach herself French and Spanish with the aid of language tapes and dictionaries since the school system didn't offer the subjects as electives. As for her actual school subjects, the pressure from her mom ensured that Robin maintained a good enough GPA and grades across the board, although deep down she despised the rigid structure of the school system.
Expressing herself became a tightrope walk between keeping her mom happy and flying under the radar at school: where she couldn't physically escape from this town and its monotonous chokehold on all who lived here, movies and books took her to distant lands where things might be different. A disastrous attempt to audition for the school play made Robin resolve to stay in the background, helping out with set design behind the scenes. And then there was the matter of boyfriends, a topic of conversation so spectacularly uninteresting that Robin had to wonder whether she was simply wired differently to all of the other teenagers at Hawkins High.
As soon as she reached her sophomore year, Robin got her first job at the movie theatre in town, allowing her to somewhat alleviate her dad's financial concerns and begin raising the funds for what was her biggest rebellion to date: Operation Croissant. Her plan to run away to Europe didn't quite work out the way she planned, but she still plans to leave Hawkins one day --- even if it means enduring a whole summer working at Scoops Ahoy alongside Steve Harrington.
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a-random-nerd · 2 years
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An actual thought that just went through my mind is “You reblogged from me!! You don’t hate me!!”
And like I understand how that could appear dependent and like I’m seeking validation from reblogs and likes but what you’ve got to understand is that I accidentally commented an opinion on a post they reblogged and then wondered if they would disagree and think I was an idiot. So you see, the problem here is not that I am dependent (although that could be argued) it is simply that I am in fact an idiot who overthinks. Thank you.
#Sorry to that mutual if they see this#i am really trying to stop sharing my opinions it just seems to make my life more stressful#Doing my best to simply exist and have fun on the internet but it’s hard when I see people in my opinion being overly harsh/critical or#Just downright mean to someone who I don’t think deserves it#But I didn’t know everything about the situation so maybe it would have been best to just shut up#still I do know quite a bit about the person so i guess I felt justified in asking for people to maybe calm down a bit about it#Since the situation appeared to be just people really hating someone without much of a reason#So sorry about the essay in the tags I just didn’t want to put all of this in the main text#On the upside I planted new plants in the garden with my mother today :)#We now have some Esperanza and Althea (like 4 colors too!) and something else I can’t quite remember#And I found a good quality pot that was just lying around so I wanna put something in it#Also I have this tiny little starter pot that’s kinda shitty and there’s no drainage holes so that sucks but there was#Nothing in it so I’m going to start some tomato seeds in it!#Also I had some little glass colored pebbles lying around so I put them in my potted plants#And also added a small stake to a hanging succulent I have to help it put a bit :)#Today was lovely for the most part#Tomorrow me and my mother are going to go pick up a trellis for her wisteria and coral honeysuckle#It’s gonna be huge and so cool the garden looks amazing#Anyways I know y’all aren’t gonna read all this I just wanted to talk about my day because it was really great#Happy Good Friday everyone
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troonwolf · 1 year
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Ezri Dax was a terrible character and her introduction basically killed the whole show by simultaneously ruining three long-running character arcs at once.
SEND POST.
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lorarri · 2 months
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꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐑 ─ 𝐌𝐕𝟏 ˚₊· ꒱꒱
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─ summary . . . ❨ since the day you were born you knew you weren't the favourite your brother was and it all comes to a head on vegas night ❩  ─ pairing . . . ❨ platonic! max verstappen x fem! younger! verstappen! mclaren! f1 driver! reader ❩  ─ genre . . . ❨ social media file ❩ ─ author note . . . ❨ this one is def gonna be a series loved the request idea so def gonna do more so enjoy! ❩
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❨ taglist | masterlist ❩
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yourinstagram
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liked by yourbestie1 yourbestie2 98,374,345 others
yourinstagram tough race shit hit the fan but oh well that's racing for ya
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user can't belive max fucking crashed into you like that... ⤷ yourinsatgram well I can since it sent me to the hospital
user dude is so scared of your taking the championship from him he had to take you out
user I feel so bad for Y/N you could see that she was in so much pain when she was getting out of the car
user no max like
user dw babe men do this when they are threatened
user my queen hope you are okay ⤷ yourinsatgram ego is a bit hurt but other than that I'm good
user that was so shitty of max to do that
user future wdc winner idk about max
user the way her family just ignored her and celebrated with max while she was taken to hospital
user so max is the favourite child confirmed? ⤷ yourinsatgram no comment.
user don't worry you family may not appreciate you but we love you <3
user Y/N in her reputation era love to see it liked by yourinstagram
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MAX
hey Y/N how are you doing?
Y/N
fine
MAX
are you okay?
Y/N
yeah I'm fucking fine max
what do you want?
MAX
hey I'm just worried about you
Y/N
really?
after you fucking cost me the win
yeah right
why don't you just go play favorites to mom and dad
and fucking leave me alone
since your clearly so much fucking better than me
Y/N has blocked MAX
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─ requested by . . .
anon ─ Request Max Verstappen x Younger Sister Mclaren Driver She is his younger sister and drives for Mclaren. They are started together in the motorsport, but the media always put a rivarly between siblings, and said that Max is much better. She believes that her family loved Max more her and stopping talk with whole family, and she always attacks her family and Max in social medias and press conferences. Max was hurt with situation, he loves her sister and because the asshole media, she hates him. The siblings are fighting for championship, and whole family go to the race for watching the siblings e try to reconnecting relationship with Y/N, specially Max.
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bluejutdae · 14 days
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• best friend Stray Kids saving you (or being saved by you) from a bad date | Minho x you
Chan, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin
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genre: friends to lovers
warnings: asshole date, nothing happens but reader thinks her date might follow her home
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This night has been terrible so far. Your friend convinced you to go out with one of her colleagues to get over your crush for Minho, and you knew it was pointless, but she insisted so much you have lost the will to fight. So you wore a nice dress and a minute before you left the apartment, the guy texted you saying there was a change of plans and to meet two hours later and at a different location. Is the dating scene like this for everybody? You haven’t dated anyone for a long time, a bit because of how things ended with your last boyfriend but mostly because of the raging (unreciprocated) crush for Minho.
Minho’s now one of your closest friends, but you never actually gave up on your feelings for him. It’s almost comfortable, safe in a way, to love someone knowing things won’t change but won’t end either.
But for the sake of shutting up your friend, you are now in a very shitty situation. The guy is pretty, you’re mature enough to admit that, but he’s a major asshole. Even ignoring the last minute change of plans, the fact that he arrived 25 minutes later and apparently the new location is a nightclub. His hands have been on you the moment he introduced himself and the more you try to put some distance between you two, the more he’s all over you. You could just leave, that’s true. It’s also true that this guy is very set on never leaving your side and he’s so pushy you’re certain he wouldn’t hesitate to follow you home.
You wonder when Minho is going to be here so you can at least leave the club and have him keep you company, when you feel a hand grabbing your wrist. You turn to find the hand holding you belongs to Minho himself and he’s looking at you with a surly expression, teeth clenched and a frown between his eyebrows. “We’re going home.”
His voice is cold and firm, you’ve never heard him speak to you like that. Your date notices the scene and turns to Minho. “Woah dude, she’s mine tonight.”
Minho’s cold stare rests on the guy and at the same time your friend makes a step to place himself between you and your date. “She’ll never be yours, not tonight, not never. She belongs to me. Dude.” The last word was spat through Minho’s teeth, mocking and a bit cruel.
Words die on the guy’s tongue when Minho gets into his face and says something too quiet for you to hear.
A moment later he’s gently pushing you away and through the crowd, towards the exit.
“Well, that was intense,” you joke when you’re safe on the sidewalk.
“Don’t you ever put yourself into a situation like this. Ever again.” He’s on your face, almost screaming the words at you, anger contorting his face.
You can understand he was worried, but you don’t like the way he’s talking to you.
“Ya, Minho! Do you think I wanted that?” You raise your eyebrows. “I didn’t call you so you could scold me! I called you because I trusted you to help me, I know I was in a shitty situation!”
“And yet you still got into this situation!” He rebuts, and in this moment you hate him a little.
Why is he judging you like this? Why is he blaming you? Sure, you were a bit too naive but it’s not like you consciously decided to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.
“This clearly wasn’t what I expected.”
“No? You’re the one who decided to go to a club with a man you didn’t know. And you came alone! Was bringing a friend too easy?”
“Fuck you, Minho!”
You stalk away, towards the direction of the bus stop. Why is he mad at you now? He’s never been mean or cruel to you, despite what lots of people say about him, he’s a caring friend.
You can hear his footsteps getting close and you almost laugh at the thought that comes to your mind: you are always so focused on him, you can now recognize his footsteps.
“I parked in the other direction.”
“Then go the other direction. I don’t need you here. Sorry I bothered you. I won’t be your problem anymore.”
“You are my problem.”
“Oh, so I really am a problem to you.” You can believe him. All this because he had to come get you? You didn’t think it’d be such a hassle.
“Yes. You’ve been my problem since I met you.”
“You’re being so fucking cruel tonight, Minho.”
“I am not- can you stop walking?” He asks, sounding exasperated. You stop and face him, one hand on your hip and your lips pursed in disapproval. “So you can tell me more about how I’m a problem?”
“I didn’t say a problem.”
“You said exac-“
“I said MY problem! Emphasis on my. Because you’re not other people’s problem. And I don’t want you to belong to other guys, don’t want them to call you theirs! I want you to be mine.”
You stare at him for half a minute, silent and still. Putting aside the fact that he’s repeating the fact that you’re a problem, you try to read between the lines.
“Is this a fucked up way to tell me you have feeling for me?”
“Yes.”
This is ridiculous. Really ridiculous. Your crush has feelings for you. And the most backwards way of confessing. Well, considering he is Minho, it’s pretty in character for him. Still ridiculous, though.
“I didn’t know you decided to go on dates.” He says it like a second thought.
“I didn’t.”
“You were on a date.”
“Doesn’t mean I decided to go on dates.”
“Means exactly that.”
“Jesus, Minho. Can you ever drop something?”
“Not when it’s about you.”
This asshole. How can you find his otherwise annoying answers amusing?
“My friend insisted so much that she wore me down, so I accepted this date with her colleague. So, as I said, I haven’t decided to go on dates.”
“Good.”
“You can never be normal, uh? Always with a weird answer.”
“You like weird.”
“I do.”
“You’re normal. I like normal.”
He likes normal, and he likes you. And he tells you so in a Minho way at least another ten times in the following minutes, during your way home.
You say goodbye and you’re about to get out of the car, when he puts his hand on your arm, an hesitant expression on his face. “No more other guys, right?”
You smile softly at him. “No more other guys. There hasn’t really been another guy since I met you.”
His smile is all you need.
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plutoswritingplanet · 7 months
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could you do a request of Buggy (opla) falling for Luffy’s older sister? (Adopted or blood relation, doesn’t matter) like he takes her hostage but she doesn’t seem to mind. She know she can escape at any time, but keep annoying buggy to a point where… he doesn’t see her as a hostage anymore, more like treasure? And she starts to maybe feel something for the clown?
You Started It (Buggy The Clown x Reader)
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a/n: how did i know the first request will be about the clown lmao. i took some liberties when writing this but i hope you still like it <3
Warnings: Buggy Being Kind Of An Asshole, Captivity, Some Suggestive Themes
Summary: Poking the bear isn't the wisest things you could be doing in your particular situation.
Part 2.
You've memorized every nook and cranny of your shoes. The time you've spent in containment has really opened your eyes, when it comes to how little you actually knew about the clothes you were wearing. For example, your right shoe was slightly bigger, molded by your foot. You must be putting more weight onto your right leg, when standing. The hem of your shorts is made with a very close cross stitch, making them slightly sturdier and thicker. Right where the material folds, just above your knee, you've managed to pick out a small hole, the strings of abused material hung sadly and tickled your skin.
There wasn't really much to do, while being kept in a cage, in the backstage of a circus which belonged to the infamous Buggy the Clown. Well, except studying the stains on your shoes and waiting for the Captain to visit you, which he did quite frequently.
"Entertainment purposes" is the reason he declared, when you've asked him why on earth is he keeping you locked up in a hanging cage. But you weren't so easily fooled. You knew from the start, that the role he has envisioned for you to play, was that of a Hostage and Bait. So, inevitably, when your younger brother and his merry band of misfits come to save you, he'd be able to even out the score. Which was a shitty plan, in your opinion.
They've kicked his ass before, they can do it once again.
So, that's why you're here, feet dangling above the floor, as you hum to yourself. Anything to pass the time. That is, until you hear the door to the backstage open, and a familiar tone of voice calls out.
"Hostage!"
Really, how did he even expect you to stay in the dark about his plan, while calling you like this? The man was clearly insane.
Buggy the Clown stands before you, makeup disheveled as always, with his Captain's hat abandoned in favor of a striped bandana. He's excited, which is evident, by the way he can't seem to stop moving, jumping from one leg to the other, hands fidgeting at his sides.
"How are you feeling, my dear Hostage?" he asks with fake concern, and just as your mouth opens to answer, he interrupts "Ah, never mind that, I don't care."
You don't even try to hide the annoyed expression on your face.
"You can sing" he states matter-of-factly, pointing a finger right at you.
"Barely."
"Can you dance though?"
"Barely as well."
He hums in thought, pacing the floor in front of your cage. Finally, he stops, looking at you with his head tilted to the side. His eyes rake over your body, and it brings a sudden wave of discomfort to your bones.
"You'll be performing in our next act."
Again, his tone leaves no space for an argument. Still, you were never an agreeable person, smiles were more of your brother's thing. So, you straighten out as much as the cage allows you and cross your arms in front of your chest.
"Do whatever you like, my brother will get me out of here before you can say Welcome to my big show".
"Welcome to my big show" he says immediately, then, raises his finger, as if he's waiting for the entire crew of Strawhats to fall from the sky.
They don't, obviously, and he gives you a pointed look, to which you respond with a roll of your eyes.
"Besides" he turns around and opens one of the chests laid out on the table "Aren't you a bit old to dote on your younger brother so much?"
The question genuinely offends you, and as he pulls out another bandana, this one red, covered entirely with big white polka dots, your eyes glimmer with venom.
"Aren't you a bit old to play dress up?"
He turns in a blink of an eye, and with terror mixed with disgust you watch his hands detach from his body, slamming into the cage. The force of impact sends it flying right into the nearby wall, the back of your head smacks against the metal bars. The swinging of the cage coupled with the stars erupting before your eyelids from the impact make you feel dizzy.
Then, Buggy takes a step towards the cage, connecting his hands with the rest of his body, and your prison stops swinging in an instant.
"I should kill you for that" he says lowly, his blue eyes bearing into your face.
"You started it" you choke out an accusation, trying very hard not to vomit.
He stays completely quiet, just watching you for a long while, his hands slowly loose tension. Then, as if his rage has entirely dissolved, he smiles, teeth completely exposed, as his cheeks crease. God, you'd do such a better job at his make-up, given the chance.
"You're funny, Hostage" he shakes his head, and suddenly, for some unknown reason, it downs upon you, just how close to you, he's standing.
"Sing for me some more" he says.
And then, his hands push back with sufficient force to send your cage flying again. You groan at the movement, another wave of nausea almost making you loose your breakfast. When you finally have the perfect, biting comeback, he's already gone, the door slamming after him. You're alone again.
A sigh escapes your lips, as you press your forehead to the cold metal of the cage. You've already memorized all the details of your own clothes, and the room was too dark to see anything more. So, you start observing the cage. The way the light shifts up and down on the bars, the way the brown paint seems to peel away under your thighs. Then, you look up, towards the place where all the bars have been stuck together.
And then your eyebrows furrow. Because just above the ceiling of the cage, you can see something poking out. Something roughly the size of a fist and colored a pale, fleshy color. You raise yourself slightly in your seat, to get a better look, and immediately regret doing so.
It's an ear. His ear. Detached and placed right on top of the cage. That's how he knows about your singing, the bastard.
An idea brews in your brain, mischief spilling out of your growing smirk. You pull yourself up, until you can reach the top of the cage. Your arm is just slender enough to slip past the bars, and your fingers brush against the cold flesh of the ear. Before Buggy, wherever he is, can react, you snatch the ear from the top of the cage, keeping a tight grip, as it starts to jump in your hand.
Then, you take a deep breath, place the ear close to your lips… And give the most blood-curling, shrill scream you could muster.
Immediately, you hear a string of curses coming your way, and a second later Buggy bursts into the room, a murderous expression on his face. You open your hand, and the ear nearly bursts out of your fingers, flying back to it's owner like some sort of deformed beetle. The sight, for some reason, is so incredibly funny, you can't help but choke out a little giggle. Which soon becomes a quite big giggle, which in turn morphs into a full blown laughter.
You can't see the Captain through the tears of laughter forming in your eyes, so when he knocks on the metal bars of your cage, you nearly choke from surprise. He's looking at you strangely. Not quite as angry as before, but there is something else lurking behind his eyes. As if he's enveloped deeply in his thoughts, but at the same time completely present and focused on you. Your laughter dies down in an instantly, and you reach up to wipe your tears, clearing your throat awkwardly.
"I've captured myself a comedian, huh?" the man leans closer to the bars of the cage, placing his forehead against them and looking at you from below "You trying to take my place as the funniest person in the circus? Hm, Hostage?"
You risk a smirk, leaning down towards him. He watches your movements with a curious expression, eyes darting all over your face.
"Yeah" you whisper "So, you better watch your back."
At that, he smiles one of his brilliantly wide smiles. This one however, seems the most honest out of every one you've seen up to this point. You try not to linger too much at the way his eyes seem to shine in the dimly lit room. Or how the stubble on his face makes his features sharper. Or even on the way his arms flex as he leans against the cage. And definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, you're not focusing on the fact, that he's standing nestled right between your dangling legs.
So, before your brain conjures up any unwanted ideas, you clear your throat again and straighten up. Buggy notices the shift in your posture, but doesn't move, instead it seems as if a lightbulb has literally appeared beside his head. Desperate to change the subject, which hasn't been even brought up yet, you wave your hand in the general direction of his ear.
"Your ability is pretty useful" you try to sound as neutral, as humanly possible.
"Oh?" he tilts his head back and gives you a suspicious look.
"Yeah, that eavesdropping thing was really cool… And slightly disgusting" your nose scrunches "But mostly cool."
He hums low in his throat, his hands slowly letting go of your cage. Still, he remains standing between your legs, your knee brushing against his prominent hip bones.
"Are there" you swallow "Any limits to this ability?"
Now, his eyebrows jump straight under his bandana, and you definitely do not like the slow smirk filling his features.
"I mean, like, can you detach your nose? Or um… I don't know, your fingernails?"
Finally he steps back, stretching his arms to the side, as if he's giving you a show, and in a way, he does. There are muscles, hidden under those circus clothes. His exposed forearms are nicely shaped, with thick veins running the length of them. You really don't mean to ogle the man, but fuck, he is handsome. In an "insane-sadistic-clown-who-is-also-a-pirate-for-some-reason" way.
"I can detach every single part of my body with no effort" he says, his smile growing.
Before you could really think about your actions, your gaze falls downward, right to his belt keeping his trousers up. Mortified, that your brain would even go there, you tear your eyes up, and with a horrified expression, look upon a face full of excitement.
Then, Buggy raises his hands to his heart, feigning a scandalized expression, which would've been funny, if you weren't currently blushing in the lovely shade of a ripe beetroot.
"I'm sorry… that's not… I didn't" your words come out a jumbled mess, and Buggy wheezes out a laugh.
"Oh would you look at that" he puts his hands behind his back, as he slowly starts to stalk towards your confinement "You know, with how sheltered your little brother is, I didn't expect you to be such a dirty pervert."
You choke on air, arms flailing inside the cage, as you genuinely are at a loss for words, You can feel your face grow impossibly hot, the heat spreading all the way to the tops of your ears. The Clown still advances, until his face is pushed right between the bars of the cage, a smile on his lips and a glint in his eye. You don't know what to do with yourself, as the man continues to laugh at your outrage.
Finally, his right hand flies from behind his back and stops right above his head. Then, as if making a show specially for you out of his unusual abilities, he lets his pointer finger remove itself from the hand. Involuntarily, you make a face, and try to push yourself as far into the cage, as humanly possible. Which, given the size of your prison, does practically nothing. The finger aims straight at your nose and presses it with slightly more force, than a friendly "boop" would.
"You started it" he throws your own words back at you, and watches your dumbfounded expression with a smile and a giggle.
Finally, he steps back, all his body parts in place, and you can breathe again at last. Then, with a flourish, he bows down before the cage, before giving you a slightly unbalanced twirl. At that, you can't help but smile, almost fondly. He's not so bad, when he isn't actively trying to murder you and your friends.
"Anyways, get ready, your grand performance is in a week" he concludes, and you sigh deeply.
So he hasn't let this one go.
No matter. A week from now, you'll be out of this place. The thought fills you with joy, and strangely, with some sort of melancholy, which you have to jot down as nausea, just to protect your own mental health.
"Hostage" the man says, as a goodbye, bowing once again, this time with fewer theatrics, and begins to walk back towards the door. "Captain" you respond in kind, inclining your head slightly.
He stops in his tracks, back turned to you, before slowly, twisting his body, to look you in the face. He wants to say something, his mouth opens and closes, and anticipation floods your stomach. But then, his lips pull back into one more smile, more reserved, more private. Now, in this rare moment of tranquility, he looks truly handsome, and your heart jumps to your throat at the realization. He gives you one last look, shakes his head at the floor, and exits with a soft click of the door.
You're, once again, left alone with your mismatched shoes and the hole in your shorts. This time, however, your head is filled with tender thoughts, one that could keep you company, until another visit befalls you.
2K notes · View notes
softspiderling · 1 month
Text
think you're a genius (you drive me up the wall) | r.c.
summary: it wouldn't be an outer banks party if there wasn't at least one fist fight. also, rafe is trying to turn over a new leaf.
pairing: rafe cameron x reader
word count: 3,8k
warning: mention of blood, violence (reader gets punched in the face, but there are no graphic details), shitty topper (sorry top)
author's note: long awaited (at least by me) rafe fic, whoop whoop!!! no usage of Y/N, happy reading, don't forget to reblog!!! also tagging @sunderlust bc i borrowed some of our conversation in this fic😘love you sol
☆⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄
“Since when do you drink beer?”
Barely pausing at the words, you continued to stack cold beer cans in your arms, the condensation dripping onto your skin. You didn’t have to turn around to know who the voice belonged to, having heard it so many times. And this was his house after all.
“Wasn’t aware you kept track of my drink of choice,” you retorted, turning around to face him, while simultaneously trying to balance the cans.
Rafe raised an eyebrow at you before his gaze lowered to the beer in your arms. “… You trying to tell me that all that beer’s for you?”
“You calling me a lightweight?”
The corner of Rafe’s mouth ticked up and he took a sip from his drink, the ice clinking in the glass.
“I think we both know I’m not.”
If someone had told you that one day you’d be standing in the parlor of Tannyhill, having a mostly civil conversation with Rafe you’d have them institutionalized. But things have changed. When Sarah returned with the news that Ward has died protecting Sarah, Rafe imploded at first. Blaming her for his death, the downfall of their family and generally being ungrateful for Ward’s love for her.
Everyone avoided the Cameron estate for a while, hearing stuff crash and yells from a mile away. No one dared to step close. A few days after, the disturbances stopped, being replaced with complete silence.
It was so silent, you actually grew concerned until Rafe turned up at Heyward’s setting up a weekly grocery delivery. Pope had dumped the stuff he was holding as soon as Rafe had stepped into the store, storming outside, with Cleo hot on his heels, leaving you to set up the standing order.
“Can you tell Sarah I’m sorry?”
“What?”
You looked up from the register and Rafe clenched his jaw, giving you a look.
“You really gon’ make me say it again?”
“How about you call her yourself instead of making me deliver your message like a post boy?”
Rafe exhaled deeply, knitting his eyebrows together like he was really trying not to explode and honestly, you had to respect him for that. You know how impatient he could be.
“I tried, okay? Don’t you think I’ve tried? I’ve tried to call her, she’s not picking up. Fuck, I don’t even know if she still has the same phone number,” he said, like the words physically pained him. “I don’t even know where she’s staying. Is it at John B’s new place?”
Somewhere between his words, Rafe had started pacing up and down the stairs, making you antsy.
“Hey,” you said, coming around to slowly, carefully - like you were trying to pet a stray cat - curl your hand around his wrist. Rafe immediately stopped, eyeing his wrist where you were touching him.
“Sorry, I’ll take my hand off,” you quickly said, but before you could, Rafe stopped you.
“’s fine,” he muttered, meeting your eyes for a second before looking away again. “Physical touch grounds me… Y’know… When my thoughts get too… Much.”
You swallowed thickly, nodding at him and staying in place, for god knew how long, until Rafe had seemed to calm down.
“Thanks.”
“Sure.”
You drew your hand back, crossing your arms over your chest and leaned against the counter to put some distance between you and him, wildly overwhelmed with this situation. Rafe didn’t seem like he knew what to do either, turning his ring on his finger, his eyes cast on the floor.
“If you really want to apologize to Sarah,” you started, making him look up. “Maybe I can talk to her. Ask her if she’s willing to meet up with you.”
Rafe raised an eyebrow at you, clearly surprised. “You’d do that for me?”
“Don’t let it get to your head. I’m mostly doing it for Sarah,” you scoffed and Rafe only smirked, shaking his head.
“Sure, tough girl. Gonna ring me up now or what?”
Rolling your eyes at him, you returned to the cash register, finishing up his order. You still felt his eyes on you as you worked away.
“Thanks,” he finally said, and you lifted your head, briefly meeting his eyes.
“Don’t mention it.”
And he never did.
Miraculously, you had managed to get Sarah to agree to talk to Rafe and while you had accompanied her to the beach, where she had met up with Rafe, you stayed behind to give them privacy. You weren’t sure what they had talked about, but you didn’t press her about it either when she came stomping back to you with tearstained cheeks. Whatever they have talked about must have helped though, because even though Sarah still stayed with John B of the the times, she went home every odd night, returning with sandwiches and drinks the next day like a soccer mom. It went unsaid that Rafe had provided her with everything and Sarah avoided talking about him, mostly because Pope still got that distant look in his eyes whenever she mentioned her brother. Which is why you were surprised that he was the first one to agree to go to a party Rafe had invited Sarah to, forwarding the invite to her friends.
“What?” Pope had said everyone gave him an odd look. “He stole a family heirloom of mine. The least he can do is invite us to a party of his.”
“Okay then,” JJ jeered, beating on Pope’s back with his opens palms. “Let’s go to a Kook party.”
You had to admit that it was nice to see that the two tribes of the island coming together. The fact that Pogues were invited to a party on Figure 8 was huge. Granted, it was just you and your friends, but still. It was a start.
Loud cheering from outside brought you out of your thoughts, you and Rafe both looking towards the dimly lit backyard, where the main attraction of the party took place.
“JJ and John B are destroying a group of Kooks at Rage Cage right now,” you then explained, lifting the beer in your arms. “Hence... You know.”
“Right right, I was starting the wonder what all that yelling was about,” Rafe mused.
“So how come you’re not out there?”
Rafe shrugged. “Needed some quiet.”
“What, you having your private party in here?” you teased and Rafe smirked, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Why? You jealous?”
You rolled your eyes, shifting the beer cans in your arms, the weight slowly getting to you.
“In your dreams, Rafe,” you scoffed. “I got to go, get these beers to the boys before they’ll get warm. You should come down, when you’re done brooding and shit.”
Throwing your last words over your shoulder, you returned to your friends, being welcomed with loud cheers as the empty cups get filled rather quickly. You dropped down into your empty chair, taking your drink from Kiara who had been holding onto it during your absence.
“Pope was about to send a search party because you were taking so long,” she said and you gave Pope a look over the brim of your cup.
“You’re such a mother hen. I was talking to Rafe.”
“Why the hell were you talking to Rafe?”
“You talked to Rafe?”
“Jesus, guys relax,” you groaned, leaning your head back. “He’s fine. He didn’t even do anything. We just talked.”
“It’s never just anything with Rafe,” Pope muttered.
“I get that,” Sarah started, rolling her empty cup in her hand. “But he’s different.Like… He regrets a lot of the thing’s he’s done and trying really hard to make up for his mistakes,” she paused, pressing her lips together tightly. “I’d be the last person to defend him, but I feel like he’s trying to turn over a new leaf.”
Before Pope was able to list all of the bad things that Rafe has done in the past, your conversation was interrupted, angry yells ringing over the music.
“So now you’re just all buddy buddy hanging out here, huh?”
The new voice wasn’t really new and everyone looked at Sarah, who paled, slowly pushing herself up from her chair, looking towards the disturbance, the rest of the group following her.
“Shit. What the hell is Topper doing here?”
The sudden intrusion of a rather inebriated Topper had immediately tanked the relaxed and laid back atmosphere; suddenly, everyone was tense, not daring to make a move in fear of making the wrong one.
“What? Aren’t we here to party?” Topper cajoled, waving a half empty bottle of whiskey around. “Let’s get rid of these Pogues and party!”
The rest of the Kooks looked between themselves, not really wanting to follow Topper’s request but also not wanting to defend your friends. Even if they just had fun together, the Kooks wouldn't go as far as openly defend Pogues, you knew that.
“You should leave, Topper,” John B said, his hands curling at his sides, which was fair, honestly. Even though you had rebuilt the Chateau, bigger, better and most importantly more fire resistant, Topper burnt down John B’s home. His safe space. Topper only widened his eyes at John B comically, snorting.
“Who are you to tell me to leave?”
Sarah pushed herself to the front, pressing herself to John B’s side, which was probably not the smartest thing she could have done, as it only aggravated Topper even more to see her next to John B. You and the others stood right behind her, ready to step in as soon as it escalated.
“Leave, Topper,” Sarah snapped at him. “Nobody invited you.”
“Yeah, as far as I know, you don’t even live here anymore, Sarah,” Topper said, spitting out her name like it was venom in his mouth.
“I didn’t invite you.”
You hadn’t even noticed Rafe having joined you, not really standing on your side, but not on Topper's side either. Suddenly, the tension had grown even thicker and by now, you realized this could go wrong in about a 100 ways.
Topper stared at his friend, mouth agape, before he collected himself, pulling a face.
“Seriously, Rafe? Weren’t you the one who told me that I’m better off without your bitch of a sister and now you’re taking her side?”
“Watch it, Top,” Rafe only said, not even moving an inch.
Not that he had to. Everyone knew what Rafe was capable of, if he was angry enough. Topper only narrowed his eyes at his friend, weighing his options.
“Topper, just go,” Sarah yelled, walking towards him for good measure, trying to offer some sort of olive branch, but Topper only pushed Sarah roughly, causing her to stumble to the ground.
“Jesus, fuck, Topper,” you snapped, rushing to get Sarah back on her feet again, making the fatal mistake of getting between him and John B, as you received a sickening punch to the side of your face.
“Fuck!”
“Holy shit, Topper are you insane?”
You had toppled over your feet to the grass, not having expected the punch at all. Disoriented, you touched your throbbing cheek, your fingers stained red when you looked at them.
“Fuck,” you moaned, feeling like you were about to pass out. Your friends quickly crowded around you, helping you up.
“Shit, girl, you alright?” Cleo asked, carefully pushing your hair to the side to assess the damage.
“Is Sarah okay?” you only asked, pausing to spit out some blood, leaning on Cleo, your legs still shaking.
“Dude, I’m fine!” Sarah said, wrapping an arm around you, still shaking herself.
Your vision was still dizzy, and the voices were not helping, but it seemed like most of the party goers had dissipated as the argument had started. As your eyes adjusted, you could just see Rafe holding Topper by the collar of his shirt and saying something you couldn’t quite understand, before he tossed his friend on the ground. Topper didn’t take long to get back to his feet, fleeing from the scene.
Rafe turned around, his eyes scanning over you before turning to Sarah.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just a bruise,” Sarah said, her eyes fixated on you. “But you should definitely get checked out. I can't believe Topper punched you."
“Come on, I got a first aid kit upstairs and some ice for the swelling.”
Rafe reached out to grab you under the arms, but Cleo was reluctant to let you go.
“Maybe I should help.”
“Seriously?” Rafe asked, incredulously and you only watched with narrowed eyes, your reaction time still limited.
“We should just take her home,” Pope chimed in, grabbing you by the shoulder gently, jostling you around.
“Guys, I’m gonna be sick if you keep handing me around like a joint,” you groaned, shutting your eyes, in the hopes of making the dizziness better.
“Pope, it’s fine. Rafe’s not going to hurt her. And he knows a thing or two about patching up wounds,” Sarah said, Pope’s grip on you loosening.
“Fine. But you even look at our girl funny, and you got another thing coming, you hear me, Rafe?”
“Yeah yeah, I got it,” Rafe grunted.
You peeked an eye open, when your friends let go of you, Rafe looping his arm around your shoulder, pausing to look at John B. “You got Sarah, right?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about her.”
Rafe nodded his head in thanks, before leading you towards the house.
"Hey, just call if you need anything!" Kiara called after you, which you only replied with a weak "Okay!", your focus on putting one foot after the other. Rafe had his arm around your waist, taking most of your weight.
“Can you walk alright or do you need me to carry you?”
“If you pick me up right now, I will vomit on you,” you moaned and Rafe snorted.
“Right, and neither of us want that.”
It took you guys an embarrassing amount of time until you reached the house, since you kept making Rafe stop because you thought you were going to throw up. When you finally walked inside, Rafe lead you upstairs, instead of steering you towards the living room.
“Where are you taking me?”
“First aid kit is in my bathroom,” Rafe replied, mostly supporting your weight as you climbed the stairs.
“Ugh, your bathroom? Am I gonna get infected with herpes or something?”
“Is it the smartest idea to insult me in your position right now?” he asked dryly, and you almost sighed in relief when you reached the second floor.
“Just take me to your bedroom Rafe.”
“Alright, Princess,” Rafe sighed, a hint of exasperation in his voice as he guided you to his bedroom, carefully depositing you on the bed. While he went to the bathroom to fetch the first aid kit, you took a second to catch your breath, hoping the world would stop spinning.
Rafe returned with the first aid kit, moving slowly so as not to startle you. He set it down on the bed and then looked at you, concern flickering in his eyes. "You okay?"
"Yeah," you mumbled, pressing a hand to your throbbing cheek. "Just a little dizzy."
"Right." Rafe opened the kit and began to rifle through it, pulling out a bottle of disinfectant and some cotton pads. “This is probably gonna sting,” he warned you.
“Do your worst.”
You managed to flinch only slightly as the cool, yet burning liquid hit your skin, with Rafe’s surprising gentle touch as he cleaned your wound. He put a small bandage on the cut, before sitting back to inspect his handiwork.
“I’ll go grab you some ice for the swelling,” Rafe then said, standing up. “No dozing off, though, a’ight?”
Without waiting for an answer, Rafe left the room, leaving you by yourself yet again. Even though he explicitly told you not to doze off, you laid down on the bed, figuring that it might make the pain a little less bad. As soon as your head hit the pillow, Rafe’s scent engulfed you, and you weren’t sure if you lying down in his bed was too... Intimate? Then again, he was the one who had left you in his bedroom by himself. Before you could sit up again, Rafe reappeared in the room, holding a bag of in his hand, an unreadable expression on his face as he took you in on his bed.
“Sure, go ahead and make yourself at home,” he huffed, but you could see the frown on his face. Rafe sat down on the bed next to you, carefully wrapping the ice bag in a small towel and pressing it against your bruise, his other hand cradling your face. Despite the ice on your skin, you felt your cheeks heating up.
It was odd. You’d never have expected that Rafe could be able to be so gentle, so caring, and you suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
“What’d you say to Topper?” you blurted out instead, breaking the silence. You reached up to hold the ice bag, and Rafe pulled his hands back, raising an eyebrow at you.
“What?”
“After he hit me. What did you tell him to make you leave?”
Rafe sighed, leaning back a bit, staring at the wall as his eyes hardened. “I reminded him of what he did to me when I… Hurt Sarah. Asked him if he was willing to beat me to a pulp for my sister, what he thought I’d do to him for hurting her.”
His eyes flickered back to you.
And you.
You let out a breath at the pregnant pause, scared he’d say something he couldn’t take back. Something real. Maye you had been flirting with him, but so what? There was no harm, they were just words. Right? But admitting something real? That was a whole other story.
“Who would’ve thought Rafe Cameron could be so nice?” You said instead, a teasing lilt in your voice.
Rafe snorted, shaking his head with a laugh, the moment dissipating. “Yeah yeah, don’t get used to it. It was a one time thing.”
“Right, right, we wouldn’t want people to think that Rafe the Kook prince actually has a heart.”
“Does that make you the Pogue Princess then?”
“What?” you asked, flushing. “Where’d you get that idea? That’s obviously Kie.”
“Come on,” Rafe huffed, rolling his eyes. “Kie’s half Kook. And don't even start with my sister. Sarah’s… Half and half, at least.”
You eyed him in amusement. It was clear that he’d spent a good amount of time on that analogy.
“What about Cleo?” you asked, humoring him.
“Ehh. She would��ve made a good Pogue princess, too bad you’ve already taken the spot,” Rafe said with a shrug. “Pogue Princess. Flirts with everyone, heart of gold, never hesitates to get right between a brawl to help out a friend and to call people out on their bullshit…. Should I continue?”
“Please don’t,” you laughed, pressing the ice bag to your cheek. “You’re talking shit out of your ass right now.”
“I’m talking shit out of my ass? You’re the one saying everything that comes to your mind to stop yourself from kissing me right now.”
What?
“What?”
You never thought he’d actually say it out loud. Mention the elephant in the room. The tension you had been trying to ignore all this time. The silence that followed was deafening as you tried to find the right words, your heart beating in your chest.
“In your dreams,” you muttered hotly, repeating your words from earlier in the evening, looking everywhere but at him. It didn’t take long for Rafe to grab you by the chin gently, forcing you to look at him, his eyes piercing yours.
“In my dreams, yes,” he said quietly, inching so close that his warm breath was fanning across your face. “What about yours, princess?”
Gaping at him, speechless, you knew you didn’t have long until Rafe would take your silence as rejection. Your mind was racing, but ultimately, you leaned in, closing the gap and finally kissed him. Rafe let out a soft grunt, dropping his hand from your chin and cupping the back of your head instead to press even closer to you. The kiss deepened, becoming more passionate, as you finally admitted the attraction you felt to another, but you pulled away, when you felt a tad too dizzy.
“Right, shit,” Rafe cursed, knitting his brows together, examining your cheek. “Got too carried away.”
You flushed, handing him the small ice bag, that was more or less a bag of water now. Rafe dumped it in the trash next to the nightstand, before turning back to you with a smirk.
“Took you long enough.”
“Shut up,” you huffed and Rafe only grinned, pushing your hair out of your face, where it stuck to your wet cheek. You leaned in for another kiss, only for Rafe to stop you, holding you back.
“Nuh-uh. You get better first. Next time, I want you to get dizzy because of my mouth and not because you just got punched in the face.”
“You sound real confident there will be a next time,” you pointed out.
Rafe sighed, faux-exasperation. “Princess, don’t act dumb, it doesn’t suit you. You really think I’ll let you go after you’ve professed your love for me?”
“After I did what?” you shrieked in laughter, and Rafe only laughed. It was nice seeing him laugh for real for once, not the smarmy, smirk he used to do. After your laughter subsided, your pursed your lips, serious.
“You know my friends won’t take this well, right? Especially Pope.”
Rafe ran his hand over his buzzed hair, exhaling softly. “I know. But I won you over, didn’t I? Rest will be a piece of cake.”
“I’m serious, Rafe.”
You gave him a look and he leaned down, clasping his hands in his. “So am I. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have been trying to make things up to him, to Sarah. To everyone. It might take a while… And I don’t blame him.”
“As long as you’re aware…. Now, can we get back to kissing?”
“Didn’t you just hear what I said?”
Pushing your lower lip forward, you pouted at him. “One kiss.”
Rafe stared at you for a hot second, frowning. “Fine. One.”
But when he leaned down to give you a chaste kiss true to his words, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of you.
"Jesus, are you trying to kill yourself?" Rafe hissed, but you only cackled, almost taking your bandage off in the process.
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author's note: pls leave a comment/reblog/like if you liked it🥹
457 notes · View notes
gaytanic-panic · 2 years
Text
The huge meat grinder of callouts for trans women has repeatedly put me in the weird situation of "well she'll really annoying and kind of shitty but I have to defend her because she's currently being hounded for bullshit she didn't do by people who want her dead"
Like I wanna be able to find a popular trans woman annoying without six months later having to be like "stop trying to get her killed, you fucking demons"
8K notes · View notes
gimmeurtmi · 1 year
Text
no nut november — changbin (loser #4)
pairing: seo changbin x fem!reader
tags: no nut november mini series, situationship, ot8 inclusive, smut!!!🔞
warnings: swearing, angsty, periods, mentions of nausea and sick but not actually being sick, reader has bad cramps and pms, messing around over clothes, smut!!, multiple orgasms
inspo: the need to be taken care of by a softie :(
notes: i wrote this while watching mama so im not sure about this one but let me know what you think <3
banner by @sluttywonwoo
{ wc: 3566 }
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The last thing you needed between your busy schedule and your mum pressuring you to make time for a family meal was for your period to come as well. 
You were jumping between one thing to another, you couldn’t even remember the last time you ate or drank water, but you had to keep going and making sure you met all your deadlines. 
You were impatient with your mother when she called to check if you were coming over for the weekend like she wanted and you didn’t even answer Changbin when he asked you if you wanted to hang out tonight. 
But all that had to come to a stop when your cramps told you to stop moving and rest. 
You couldn’t do anything but cry. 
There was so much to do, so much to get done, so many people waiting on you, but the pain was too much to try and push through. 
Your roommate made sure you had a bit of food before she gave you some painkillers and instructed you to just lay down with a hot water bottle. 
“Tell me if you need anything,” she said with a stroke of your back. 
“I need to barf,” you groaned at the nausea settled in your stomach. 
“Okay,” she said calmly, already used to taking care of you when you were unwell like this. She found your little bin and put it by the bed in case you did need to be sick. 
She left you to it, letting you fall asleep as your comfort show played in the background. 
Changbin called you twice before he started his workout session—but you didn’t answer. He knew you were busy with your schedule so he didn’t take it to heart, but still, he couldn’t help but notice the pair of you had been spending less time together. 
And he knew why that was. 
At the end of the day, what the pair of you had was a situationship and nothing more. Although Changbin knew he could say something to change it—finally have a serious conversation about feelings—he was too scared. 
And meeting up with your situationship to hang out without having sex was… weird. 
So by the time Hyunjin told everyone he lost, Changbin realised he hadn’t actually made plans to see you since the month started. 
He used all his spare energy at the gym, his trainer impressed by his new found motivation. But truthfully, it was the only thing that stopped Changbin from feeling an urge to touch himself. 
Of course, it helped not seeing you, but he knew he was being a shitty not-exactly-boyfriend to you. 
So when he was done with his workout and his shower he called you again. 
you: stop calling 
A text from you came through a few moments after, Changbin’s eyebrows raising as his heart dropped. What did he do?
binnie: are you okay? 
you: no i’m sick and i’m trying to sleep 
binnie: do you need me to come over and take care of you? 
you: do whatever you want i don’t care 
Luckily, Changbin has a sister—and so he’s almost fluent in Girl. That text meant you definitely wanted him to come over and take care of you. He texted your roommate, who was his childhood friend—she introduced you two in the first place, and asked her what was wrong with you. 
Oh. 
Now it made even more sense. 
Changbin made a stop at the store first, grabbing your favourite meal and drink and even some pads he recognised and made his way over to your flat. 
Your roommate let Changbin in with a roll of her eyes. 
“She’s not easy on her period,” she said, “you’ve never seen her like this.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Changbin tsked. He’s sure he can handle you in any situation. 
“And she’s mad at you,” she pointed out. 
That made Changbin’s confidence fade slightly. 
“Uh, what? Why?” 
“Something about how you only want her for sex,” she raised her eyebrows. 
“That is completely not true! You know how crazy I am about her,” he had to whisper the last part. 
“Changbin, as someone who’s been your best friend since we were babies I think I can say you’re being a coward.”
“You and Chan are ganging up on me now?” Changbin moved past her, letting himself into the kitchen to prepare your food for you. 
“Chan and I are concerned,” she crossed her hands over her chest. 
“Oh, so it’s concern now,” he mumbled. 
“You’re gonna lose her if you don’t grow up and do something.”
Changbin turned to her with a raise of his eyebrows. “Are you on your period, too?” 
“Yes,” she shrugged, “we sync up. It’s normal.” 
“Okay, I’m gonna go feed her but tell me if you need something too,” Changbin said simply, grabbing the food and drink he got you and taking it towards your room. 
He knocked slowly on your door. 
“Fuck off, Unnie!” 
“You’ve never called me Unnie before,” he smirked as he said back. 
“Binnie?” 
“Yeah, can I come in?” 
“No,” you whined. 
“I have food.” 
A pause.
“Okay.” 
Slowly, Changbin opened the door and slid into your room. 
You looked like you were in pain, curled up into a ball with a fluffy water bottle pressed to your lower stomach. 
“Hey,” he sat down at the edge of your bed, putting the food down on your bedside table. 
You didn’t say anything or even move. 
“Come on, let’s get up and eat something.”
“No,” you whined. 
“You’re not hungry?” 
“I’m not having sex with you,” you mumbled. 
Changbin laughed. “I’m not having sex with you either, I still have that bet.” 
“Yeah,” you sat up quickly, throwing Changbin off guard, “that bet that made you stop talking to me.”
“We talked on the phone last week,” he pointed out. 
“But you never wanna see me now.” 
“I’m literally right in front of you,” Changbin said simply. 
“Yeah, and you should leave,” you said, just as simply. 
“After you eat,” he nodded. 
You rolled your eyes at him before grabbing the plate and devouring the food. Changbin let you eat quietly, not saying a word as you finished everything and handed him the plate back. 
“Good job,” he praised. “When did you last take some meds?” 
“Four hours ago,” 
Changbin grabbed the medication bottle and handed you two pills with your favourite drink. You swallowed them easily and handed the bottle back to him. 
“Now I can go,” he said, satisfied that you were taken care of now. If you wanted space he’d go, he just needed to see you eat. 
“Okay, you can go,” you nodded.
You grabbed his arm and pulled him into the middle of your bed. 
Changbin just looked at you as you moved him around, spreading his thighs and opening his arms wide. You slotted yourself in the space you created between his legs, then you wrapped his strong arms around you and brought his palms to your stomach. 
He heard you sigh in relief, your head falling onto his shoulder as your eyes fluttered shut. 
“Feel better like this?” He asked softly, kissing your temple. 
“Yes,” you sighed softly, relaxing at the warmth Changbin’s body was offering you. 
“Why didn’t you say you needed cuddles then?” 
“Because I’m mad at you,” you said, far too relaxed to make it sound at all menacing. 
“And why’s that?” Changbin kissed your hair. 
“All you do now is go to the gym.”
“That’s all I did before, too.” 
“But now you’re ignoring me,” you said, wrapping his arms around you tighter. 
Changbin let you say it, he knew it wasn’t at all unfounded, but he kissed your cheek anyway. 
“I’m sorry I haven’t been giving you enough attention,” he said lowly. 
“It’s okay, it’s not like you owe me anything,” you dismissed, moving away from his arms now. 
Changbin whined, pulling you in closer. 
“Come on,” Changbin sighed, “now I’m here so tell me everything.” 
“I’m in so much pain,” you whined, “and my mum is on my case, and all these stupid deadlines, and I’m so horny, and I’m so hungry, and I wanna punch someone and my boss and—“ 
“—okay,” Changbin said, kissing your hair again. “The meds will start working soon. And we can call your mum and tell her you just need to rest. And the deadlines will wait until you’re feeling better. And I can get more food. And I can make you cum. And we can go find a punching bag and I’ll teach you how to box. Anything else?” 
You turned around, your eyes wide. 
“What?” Changbin chuckled at your expression. 
“I’m being an unreasonable baby,” you said slowly. 
“No,” he shook his head, “you’re in pain and stressed and uncomfortable.” 
You wrapped an arm around Changbin, resting your head on his wide shoulder. 
“You should be yelling at me,” you sighed. 
“Only if it would turn you on,” he joked. 
“Bin, I’m serious,” you said quietly. “I never wanted you to see me like this, I’m awful.” 
“How are we gonna just not see each other three days a month? That’s not gonna work,” he shook his head. 
“It worked so far,” you said. 
“Wouldn’t work long term,” he tsked. 
You ignored the way your stomach dropped at those words. There were too many things going on in your brain, too much to actually think about the fact Changbin might actually be considering taking the next step with you. You didn’t know why you two were still not official, still in the in between phase, but you liked Changbin so much you didn’t want to bring it up. 
It was only now, with your brain marinated in hormones, that it bothered you as much as it did. 
“So which one first? More food?” 
Changbin went to get you another helping of food, making sure to find some chocolate too, and after you ate more he wrapped his arms around you again as you two watched an episode of your favourite show. 
“I wanna sleep now,” you mumbled, and Changbin nodded slowly and he moved away from you. 
“No,” you whined, “wanna sleep in your arms.”
Changbin smiled at your tone, his heart melting at how much you still wanted him next to you. It gave him small flutters he tried so hard to ignore. 
November 15th
It was after midnight when you woke up, still wrapped in Changbin’s arms. You were sticky and you felt gross and so you went to have a quick shower, leaving a soft and beautiful Changbin in your bed. 
When you came back, hair still dripping, Changbin was on his phone waiting for you. 
He had his head propped up on his hand, his bicep sitting proudly next to him. His shirt was riding up slightly from the position, and all you could notice was the semi in his pants. 
“Feeling better?” He asked with a soft smile. 
“Yeah, uh, you can leave now if you want,” you said slowly, sitting back on the bed with your back to him. 
Changbin sat up, kissing your shoulder. “What’s wrong?” 
“N-nothing,” you stuttered. 
A lot was wrong. You were horny and you were still so angry at virtually nothing and all you wanted was some relief. It didn’t help that Changbin looked the way he did, that all you wanted was to jump his bones as he laid so casually on your bed.
How could you accuse Changbin of only wanting you for sex when you were now drooling over him, squeezing your thighs together? 
Maybe it wasn’t your fault—you couldn’t help the hormones in your body, and ever since your friend pointed out that orgasms helped them with their period, it was a solid part of your routine. 
“I just need you to leave so I can cum,” you said in a rush, heat travelling up and down your body, “it helps with cramps.” 
“How rude,” he joked, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Not good enough for you anymore?” 
“It’s gross,” you said, positive Changbin would be just like the other boys and want nothing to do with you on your period.
“It isn’t that gross, if you want to we can.” Changbin kissed up your shoulder, all the way to your neck, as if he already made up his mind. 
You were going to say something else—but you forgot what it was when Changbin grabbed your hips and lifted you up, placing your back on the bed in one swift motion. 
“Holy fuck,” you let out, your legs spreading on their own accord. 
“I haven’t even started yet,” he smirked at you. 
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pushing him into you as you kissed him hungrily. 
After a few moments of kissing, you whined at him, pushing your hips up for more friction. 
“Do you want me to take anything off?” He asked softly as his hands trailed up your body.  
Instead of answering, you pulled at his shirt—Changbin reacting quickly as he pulled the back of his shirt up and off his head. 
You sighed at the sight of him. 
Your hands ran from his shoulders to his chest to his stomach to his arms, grabbing at the muscles as he went. 
“Not so mad at the gym now, are you?” He smirked at you, his confidence radiating off him as he saw your pupils dilating at his body. 
“Shut up,” you groaned, pulling his hips closer to you. 
He groaned back, already fully hard. The urge to do thirty push-ups was crawling into Changbin’s brain—but he didn’t care about pushing it away anymore. 
He just wanted to focus on you. Losing the bet would be much better than losing you for not giving you the attention you needed from him. 
So he grabbed you by your hipbone, pushing you into the mattress as he rolled into you. 
“Tell me what you’re comfortable with,” he asked, reaching for the hem of your leggings. 
“Over clothes, if it’s okay,” you said, unable to meet his eyes. “And really, if this is weird we don’t have to—“ 
“—shhh,” Changbin let out, commanding. You swallowed your words and nodded. 
He ran his fingers over your clothed pussy, sighing as you arched your back off the bed. 
“Just there?” He asked, his voice low and quick. 
You nodded. He repeated his actions, finding the right spot and giving it extra attention. 
You moaned softly, your hand reaching up to your tits. 
“Let me?” He offered, moving your hands to the side. After a small nod, Changbin trailed his hand underneath your shirt, grabbing your tits, finger moving back and forth as he played with your nipples. 
Although you were sensitive, Changbin was delicate, never going too hard, never crossing the line between pleasure and pain. 
You felt yourself relaxing, your jaw hanging open as the moans kept leaving your mouth. 
“Binnie,” you let out softly. Changbin raised his eyes towards you, looking at you in wait. 
“I’m close.” 
So Changbin pressed harder on your clit, moved his fingers faster, and looked in awe as you started shaking in place—a high pitched moan leaving you as you came. 
You breathed in deeply, relaxing into the rush that took over your body. 
You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him right on top of you. 
“Thank you,” you said softly, kissing his lips. Changbin kissed you just as softly, still moving his hips against you. 
“Again?” He asked, knowing you usually liked two or three together. You nodded sheepishly, but when Changbin smiled at you softly you didn’t feel too embarrassed. 
He made you cum again and again, and then a fourth time—only using his fingers over your leggings like you asked. 
“Okay, I think I’m done,” you heaved, pulling him into another kiss. 
He kissed back, his tongue against yours. He kissed you in a way he never did before—grabbing your neck and keeping you closer to him, even when you tried to pull away for air. 
“Can I always take care of you?” He said softly against your skin, moving to kiss your cheeks instead. 
“Sure, Binnie,” you giggled, feeling him wrap his arms around you as he squeezed your body against his. 
He moved around the bed, getting on his back and pulling you onto his lap. 
The pair of you kept kissing for a few more minutes, or maybe hours, Changbin stopping every now and again just to look at you. The pair of you would burst into giggles after a few moments before getting back to the important task of just kissing each other. 
“Feel better?” He asked, his voice hoarse from the late hour. You nodded.
“So much better. I got my protector with me,” you said, wrapping his arms around you. The pair of you always joked about how Changbin looks like a bodyguard, but you never used possession when speaking about him.
Changbin didn’t comment on it, instead nodding with a satisfied grin.
The pair of you fell asleep a while later, just as the sun came up through the clouds. 
When you woke up, Changbin was running his hands up and down your arm, kissing your shoulders softly. 
“Morning, Bin,” you mumbled softly. 
“I should sleep over more,” he mused, wrapping an arm around your waist. “It’s cool waking up next to you.” 
You turned around, smiling at him. “Yeah, it’s really nice.” 
“I’m gonna go to the gym,” he said, chuckling slightly as you groaned at his words, “and when I come back I can take care of you more.” 
“Can I come with you?” You asked, remembering the article you read about how exercise helps with period cramps. It felt like utter bullshit, and you never had the right motivation to go during those times, but Changbin felt like the best motivation. 
He agreed. 
The next three days passed in a similar routine. Changbin helped you work out, and then he fed you, and later at night he’d make you cum until the cramps stopped. He never complained or asked you to help him out–he only cared about taking care of you. 
“Changbin!” Your roommate groaned as she walked into the living room, “why are you still here?” 
“Unnie, be nice!” You tried. 
Changbin just laughed as he kept scrolling through the different movies the pair of you could watch. 
“I will have to be reporting the noises I heard last night,” she teased, grabbing something to drink from the fridge. 
“What noises?” You asked through a blush. 
“I mean, I don’t mind. My noise cancelling headphones are a godsend,” she rolled her eyes, “but at this point Changbin has to be cheating.” 
“Cheating?” 
“Yah! How is she not meant to misunderstand that?” Changbin yelled at your roommate. “I think she just means the bet,” he explained quickly to you. 
“The bet?” You blinked twice. And then you remembered. 
Of course, the bet. The bet that made Changbin ignore you completely. 
He’s spent the past three days with you—making you cum about a dozen times so far–was the bet even a problem for him anymore? 
You wrapped your arm around Changbin’s bicep, leaning into his chest as you told him to just pick a movie already. 
When the pair of you got ready for bed that night, you brought up the subject again. 
“You know, if we can keep going like this I’m sure we can win that bet,” you said with a small smile. 
“Oh, I lost it already,” he shrugged simply. 
“What? When?” 
“The first night I stayed over,” he picked up the new toothbrush you gave him three days ago, it was pink and was now designated as his. “I woke up and I must’ve just lost in my sleep somehow.” 
“You didn’t say anything though,” you said, eyebrows scrunched together. 
“I thought you feeling unwell was more important than me complaining I came in my sleep,” he chuckled dryly, brushing his teeth instead. 
When he was done he sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes fixated on the mattress instead of you. 
“Anyway, I wanted to ask,” he began, coughing slowly, “can I be your boyfriend?”
“Please tell me you didn’t just use song lyrics on me,” you shudder visibly. 
Changbin smiles sheepishly. He didn’t even realise he did that—he was so nervous to even ask it, he just said the first thing that came into his head. 
Fuck.
He blew it, didn’t he? 
“Oh, well, I mean, I didn’t have to say that, I guess–no, yeah, I guess we can just stay as we are then? Yeah, um, maybe I should–” 
“--Binnie,” you sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked at you, fear across his mesmerising eyes, and waited for you to keep speaking. “Yeah, you can be. Can I be your girlfriend?” 
Changbin grinned at that, his eyes bright and wide as he nodded quickly. “Of course you can.” 
You cuddled into him as the pair of you climbed under the covers, Changbin promising to fuck his girlfriend as soon as you wanted him too. 
You just needed your period to end already. 
When Changbin got back to the dorm, the boys were eating Minho’s food happily—talking about their plans over the New Year. 
“Where have you been?” Hyunjin asked with a raised brow. 
“At Y/N’s,” he shrugged, “or should I say–my girlfriend’s.” 
He smirked proudly, his smile unstoppable on his face, and his friends cheered loudly at the news. 
“Finally!” Chan smiled, patting Changbin on the back twice. 
The boy sat down, Minho quickly filling his plate with food. 
“So, I’m guessing a celebratory nut was involved?” Jisung asked. Everyone groaned in response. 
“That’s disgusting,” Changbin said after he took a bite of his food. “I mean Jisung! Not the food!” 
Minho took back his menacing look, instead agreeing with the judgement passed on the younger member. 
“But yes. I’m out.” 
“Four down, four to go,” Minho smirked. 
A few days later Changbin got a call from his girlfriend, telling him it was date night. Your first date night as a couple. And as much as Changbin hated to admit it to Jisung, it definitely did end with a celebratory nut.
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lorcandidlucienwill · 4 months
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The most disturbing things portrayed in ACOTAR
Victim-blaming: Lucien tries to help Feyre and gets physically abused by Tamlin as a result. Feyre then proceeds to call him a dog despite Lucien doing everything he could in a difficult situation. And we're supposed to...support Feyre on this? And Rhysand throws around words like "can never forgive" man stfu you prick.
Sexual Assault: The most disturbing thing is not that Rhysand sexually assaulted Feyre. It's that he's never held accountable for this and never even apologizes at ANY point in the series. There are so many examples but this is the one that is the most disturbing.
Double Standards: We have Tamlin locking Feyre up for her own good being vilified, yet Rhysand is championed for locking Lucien and Nesta up in houses for their own good. Huh? WTF.
War Crimes: What Feyre did to the Spring Court, manipulating the sentries with the whole Ianthe thing and basically getting them killed, then weakening the Spring Court rulership which resulted in all those villagers in the Spring Court getting killed, then laying the Summer Court bare to Hybern as well, are nothing short of war crimes. And...instead of feeling regret, we have the main characters saying "Hybern's actions are their own." Like bitch what? Hybern wouldn't have been able to do shit if it wasn't for you! Have some damn accountability! And the fact that Tamlin and Tarquin are vilified for this never ceases to irk me.
Grooming: Rhysand groomed Feyre. He made excuses for everything he did with trauma, then sent Feyre out to do tasks for him like she's some kind of weapon he can use. WITHOUT giving her proper information, there is no choice. And everything he does is constantly explained away, until eventually Feyre becomes his trophy wife. Rhysand basically assigns Cassian to do the same for Nesta. I'm holding out hope that Elain will be saved from the Night Court.
The pregnancy debacle: the whole thing with the baby having wings and Rhysand withholding information from Feyre is just...disturbing. Idc if you're not telling her FoR hEr OwN gOoD, it is HER life at stake and she deserves to know. They didn't even try to shapeshift her to try and save her life? Like why is everybody seemingly more concerned about the baby than the mother? Disgusting. And why is Nesta vilified for being the only one to tell Feyre? She said it to hurt her, blah blah blah. She also wanted to show Feyre that their situations are similar. That they're BOTH being shit on by the Night Court. And when she's close to a breaking point...Nesta is forced to hike a mountain? That is physical abuse. Also, Rhysand being extremely territorial putting a shield over her and barely letting Feyre go anywhere is beyond weird.
Suicide baiting: What Rhysand did to Tamlin in ACOFAS is nothing short of suicide baiting. And...only Lucien seems to really be that concerned about it? Like...are you telling me I'm supposed to be supporting Rhysand after he basically told a depressed male to kill himself?
Segregation: Separating the Hewn City from Velaris IS segregation, no matter what excuse you try to come up with. You can't claim they're all shitty people, since your bestie Mor comes from the CoN. So, there are good people stuck in the CoN unable to get out of their torment because Rhysand decided that only certain individuals are allowed in Velaris.
Performance Feminism: Establishing laws to help women and not doing shit to enforce them is performance feminism. If he's as powerful as he says, he can 100% stop wing-cutting and r*pe. But, he's a goddamn virtue signaler so he doesn't fucking care. The thing is, SJM could've handled these topics in a much better way and it would've been fine. But she completely fucked shit up here and it's crazy that some people don't see it. Part of me is still waiting for the final book where she says, psych rhysand was the villain the whole time. If so, I'll take everything back.
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misty-caligula · 10 months
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Okay this is gonna be long, but I’ve got a lot of ground to cover so please bear with me. In a real way, this is my series thesis.
I’ve said before, many times now (like a cycle) that for me the most important scene is ep 1 act 1 scene 1. There’s something There that I have been struggling to see clearly, struggling to articulate, and s2e9 really finally gave me the last pieces for it.
I think that Pit Girl is the point of the entire story. But not in the way that I thought going in. I feel like I’m rambling, so I’m going to try to structure my thoughts.
Imagine you’re a new viewer. You haven’t watched yj start to finish 30 times, you’ve never even buzzed before. You turn on the tv and the FIRST thing that happens is you see ... brutality. A half dressed girl chased through the freezing woods, murdered without a chance. They drag her through the snow, string her up, pour her blood on the ground. Hack her into unrecognisable chunks. Sit around in scary outfits and rip at her, with a huge focus on the teeth, as horror music plays. Then, Misty takes off her mask, puts on her glasses, and does the worst possible thing. She smiles. Directly at you.
Again, forget everything you know and go on vibes. You’re seeing the teens pre-crash, and you’re seeing them in the third timeline, fully formed, with horror motifs and covered in fur. You’d be mistaken for thinking that you were seeing start and end. Except that... we know, and you know, that Pit Girl is the middle. These monsters somehow came back from this. How? When they’re so so so far gone?
Hence the show. I know I’m not breaking new ground here, but bear with me. I’m going somewhere.
(Edit: Readmore added because honestly, LONG post)
You’d be forgiven, fresh-faced new viewer, for thinking you were watching some kind of gross-out slasher. But what happens in S1? Restraint. Laura Lee, the first non-crash victim dies at the end of episode eight. Jackie end of ep 10. (For the sake of this thesis we’re going to be almost exclusively focused on the teens.)
And yet there’s this tonal shift, It’s like ... inevitability. Like watching a crack in a window that’s very slowly spreading. Everything is steadily Getting Worse. The weather is slowly getting colder, the days are getting darker, food’s getting scarcer, life is getting harder. But so much of this difficulty is coming from external events and pressure. Yes, cracks start to show in the internal relationship dynamics, of course, but if food was plentiful, if shrooms were less so, if the weather were better, then they could probably work out a very long term stable situation. Sadly for them, things are not stable, and the pressure is building.
Then Jackie dies and the glass gets a really big break.
It’s worth mentioning at this moment that Jackie at any time could’ve come the fuck inside. Safety and warmth and even love were available to her. All it would’ve required was for her not to be the centre of the world. To make actual goddamn concessions and join the team. Which is why she couldn’t possibly make that choice, because she had to be invited, she had to be apologised to, she had to be accommodated. She couldn’t see the rest of the ‘jackets as being people who just like her were in a really shitty situation. She saw them as being external, as being in cahoots against her, as being part of some Thing that she wasn’t in on. She couldn’t let go of the society they’d left, and she preferred to die. Which sure is a choice...
Keep all of that in mind though. We’re taught to blame Shauna for Jackie’s choices. Let’s stop with that. Jackie chose not to assimilate, she looked around the cabin at the team eating the bear and praying to the wilderness and instead of just paying lip service to fit in, like Tai, she decided to put her foot down and make a Thing of it. She decided that being Right was more important than being Included.
Seriously, keep that in mind, we’re coming back to it. Cycles, you know...
Season 2, everyone’s hungry and hey we have this spare Jackie lying around. And we joke like “ha, you gonna eat that?” Only...
No. They WEREN’T going to eat her.
Really think about that for a second. They put her in the meat shed. With the bear. Think about what that does, psychologically. Linguistically. The meat shed is made to store food. The bear has a word: carcass. Day after day after week after month they carve progressively more pathetic chunks from it, subsisting on what little it offers. In the EXACT same room, sitting right there is Jackie. Her body has a different name. Corpse. With many different connotations. At NO point does ANY of them raise the fact that they’ve taken their friend and added her to their meat stockpile.
Because they haven’t. Instead, they’ve added a new sub-room. The meat shed is now also a morgue. And nobody ever once had to say it. They got it. We got it. You got it. And while they starved and their bodies BEGGED for food, Jackie’s corpse lay there, frozen and fresh, and stubbornly refused to become a carcass, because they wouldn’t let it. They knew that there were more important things than meat, even when they were starving.
The bacchanal was a mistake. A literal error. It simply wasn’t planned, wasn’t meant to go down that way. Maybe if they HAD considered that route earlier and had a discussion about it they’d have been prepared, psychologically, maybe if they weren’t so starved. Who knows. But in the middle of the night they were offered a way out, and they took it.
But Shauna took it first.
Even in their state, even faced with an ideal roasted feast infront of them, they waited until Shauna said it was okay. Because Jackie was Shauna’s friend, and they knew that she was still a person. That this was still a corpse first. It was Shauna who was able to give them permission to survive. To turn a friend into a meal. It was not their place to take that step. To shoulder that guilt. So Shauna did it for them.
The next day they’re devastated. The heavy reality sets in, now the hunger is settled. And Jackie’s carcass is far too real, they can’t change her back into a corpse. Nat tries, bless her heart. But Tai’s screaming reaction at having eaten Jackie’s face is only an externalisation of the grief and horror and agony they’re all going through.
And after Jackie they starve again. Hope and heat and light dwindles further. Every single day they all take another step towards death. That’s what starvation is, it’s the same thing as dying, you die a little bit every day until you can’t die anymore.
Kristen falls. Misty doesn’t even consider that she might bring her back as meat. If she had’ve, she might think, maybe she’d be considered like ... heroic. It doesn’t even occur to her. She’s not going to LET those bitches eat her one and only friend, and she goes out of her way to protect her.
Shauna has her horror show birth. And, no matter WHAT the context is, she produces.... meat. In the most awful, brutal way. And while the fandom made so many jokes and stuff, the reality is that yes... at least to an extent there was real nutrients there. And it was never once even brought up as an option, by these desperate, starving girls. 
When Coach tries to kill himself, here’s a ready source of willing meat. And Misty uses it as a threat to stop him. But it’s hollow, she’s just putting on fake fangs to try to keep him safe. She’s not actually that vicious thing that she’s pretending to be, just like she’s not actually homophobic.
When Lottie tells Misty to eat her if she dies, Misty fights her on it. Lottie has to insist. Then when she tells the rest of the team, they are so overwhelmed with the selflessness of the gesture that it inspires them to twist it into their first hunt. That’s what it takes. The hunt is an act of self-sacrifice and love.
And so we get to the hunt. The proto-pit-girl, we’ve come full circle and we start to learn all these answers to questions posed in act 1 scene 1. And they’re not the answers that were assumed.
How do they get to the point of eating each other? They sacrifice themselves willingly, for the sake of each other’s survival.
Why do they hunt the way they do? Because Shauna just can’t stand to murder a friend in cold blood, a friend she cares for and has no reason to hate.
Why the spike pit? Because it keeps the blood off their hands. Because it lets them blame It and preserve a tiny fragment of their innocence.
Why the weird symbols? The ritual itself? Because they need SOMETHING to hold onto, to make it all make sense.
Why so brutal? Is it? We THINK it’s brutal. It’s certainly bloody. But Pit Girl dies almost instantly. Her pain is over fast. She doesn’t have a good time going into it, obviously, none of them want to die. But she chose to run, she could’ve taken the knife instead. And the spike trap was efficient. Yes they drag her through the snow and string her up, but it’s mechanical and just part of the process and she’s dead already. Her pain is over fast, it’s not sadistic.
Why do they chop her up into chunks like that? Because nobody wants to eat her face. Because nobody wants to struggle with her humanity, they want her to look just like any other meat. So that they might be having deer or bear or ... friend. They’re eating because they are biological machines that need to eat, that NEED death to survive. They didn’t ask to be made the way they are, and they’re doing their best to cope. Shauna, probably blindly, takes on that responsibility, to transform their friend into unrecognisable meat to change a corpse into a carcass. She takes that pain for them, holds that sin for them, out of love. So they can eat, so they can survive.
What’s with the creepy horror masks? During the ritual they can’t handle being themselves. They create alternate versions of themselves to hold what must be done. The masks aren’t there to scare anyone, because there IS NO AUDIENCE. The masks are there to hide behind. That’s why Misty takes hers off at the end of the scene. The ritual is over and they can go back to being people again.
Why is Misty fucking Quigley in charge? Because she CAN be. Because she’s strong enough. If Lott/Nat/The AQ is the goddess/queen, Misty is the priestess/handmaiden, tasked with actually carrying out her orders. She interprets the queens words when she’s too weak, she provides counsel when she needs it, she tells the team what they need to hear in the moment, she gives out the micromanagement. Misty’s the power behind the throne, because when she says she’ll do something she fucking follows through. No matter the cost. And what the team NEEDS, whether they choose to admit it or not, is a backbone.
So...
They bring home Javi. The music uses a reference that’s never been done before. It uses the spiritual powerballad that was playing when Laura Lee tried to fly away. It builds the expectation of Great Things, of big, potent ...
And then it just stops. As the girls are faced with the reality of what’s laying on the table. The cold, blue corpse of a soft child who never hurt anyone. No matter what they do, no matter how hard they try they just cannot make him a carcass. But they have made the choice already, and if they turn back now it’s not like it’ll bring him back. They’ll just be starving and regretful as he rots.
So Shauna, blind and shaking, does the best she can. And when she brings in the meat, she - of all people - understands EXACTLY what Travis is going through. She knows what he needs. Because she’s been here. With Jackie. So she brings him Javi’s heart. His core. His love. His soul.
(She doesn’t bring him Javi’s head. She cuts that off and puts it aside so nobody has to eat his face... Some things are worth more than pure nutritional survival.)
And Travis, god bless him, does the only thing he can do left to respect Javi. He takes his heart, and he bites it, raw and bloody.
It hurts him to do so. It disgusts him so much, but he manages not to throw up. It disgusts the girls too, but they watch on, horrified. And that’s the POINT. Travis makes sure that before they do this, before they do what they have to... that they all remember this is Javi, this is human, this is a person. And he preserves the horror. For all their sakes. And only then, after he’s given his blessing, after he’s done his human acts, do these starving, ravenous girls allow themselves to reach for their food.
S1E1. Act 1, scene 1. We do not know who Pit Girl is. We do not know the exact circumstances that get us there. But we do know where we started now. What the original meaning is behind each of these little things. And it’s not brutality, not barbarism. It’s love. It’s not lord of the flies, a bunch of monstrous human-shaped creatures giving in to their primal nature and predating on each other. It’s a team of terrified people desperately clutching at their own humanity as hard as they can. Trying SO hard not to let that glass break, to not become the thing that the framing of act 1 scene 1 tried so VERY hard to convince us they were. Context changes everything.
And the proof is in the pudding. After they eat Jackie the shock explodes throughout the cabin. The atmosphere is thick, and horrific. Now with Javi, reduced to simple meat, carefully and lovingly seperated from what made him human, so they can grieve him while they sate their natural needs, the mood post-eating is calm and soft and warm and loving. For once they’re all together,  with grateful full stomachs and in a time of peace and plenty. They’ve done the impossible and maintained their humanity and love for each other and their respect for Javi in a nearly impossible situation.
*takes a deep breath*
Which brings us to THIS asshole.
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Right from the start, Jackie is only kind of part of the team. She’s the team captain, put up there by Coach Martinez, but not because she’s the best of them but because she can maybe wrangle them into doing better. And they KNOW that she’s not really one of them. They plot around her, and just don’t bring her in on it. They put up with her, more than loving her, she’s just kind of forced upon them. But she does her best, to try to maintain some semblance of order, giving pep talks and the like.
Wait, Jackie? I mean coach. My bad.
Anyway, so Jackie has one friend, Shauna. She SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to her, but Shauna’s the only one who actually likes her. And Shauna’s her connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn as to where her real loyalties lie.
Sorry I’m talking about Jackie again.... weird.
In S1E9/10 Shauna finally chooses the team, for real. And Jackie tries to pull her back away, but Shauna puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, you’re the odd one out. Why don’t YOU leave, Jackie? Jackie looks around at the burgeoning cult, she thinks “Look at these evil monstrous bitches, and now Shauna’s one of them TOO?” And instead of finding a compromise, instead of doing introspection, instead of anything like that, Jackie goes and freezes to death because it turns out that sheer rage won’t keep you warm in sub zero temperatures. Because no matter what happens, Jackie’s Right and it’s more important to her to be Right than Included. If she’s not in charge than why is she even THERE?
Hold on, I see my mistake. Let me backtrack.
Right from the start, Coach is only kind of part of the team. He’s trying to hide from his real life, from Paul and the complexities of being genuine in society by taking on the job of coaching the ‘jackets. And they KNOW that he’s not really one of them. He’s just the guy they have to listen to, because society put him there. But he tries his best, giving pep talks and the like.
So Coach has one friend, Natalie. He SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to him, but Nat’s the only one who actually likes him. (Ignore Misty, a schoolgirl comphet crush is not the same thing). And Nat’s his connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn to where her real loyalties lie. Sometimes she’s on the bench with Coach, complaining about the state of things. Sometimes she’s in the thick of it with them all, and Coach is nowhere to be found.
In S2E9, Nat finally chooses the team, for real. And Coach tries to pull her back, but Nat puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, I’m worse than them, you’re the odd one out. Go, save yourself, you don’t belong in this place. Coach looks at a table covered in blood and gore, at Nat’s face, at the rest of the team pledging fealty to her. And instead of looking for context, or looking for compromise, or even remotely trying to understand what he’s looking at he thinks
Look at these evil monstrous bitches. They’re eating each other. They’ve all gone mad. They’ve even gotten Nat now. There’s no hope for them, there’s no hope for anyone out here.
And he decides that they’re corrupt. That the way you deal with that is fire. And he’s wrong.
(I have a theory that he’s gone and jumped off the cliff, that he set the fire to clear the corruption, and now like Jackie, unable to live in this situation any longer, he’s decided to die himself. I’d not be surprised to find him in s3e1 that way)
Jackie was a frustrating, difficult person. Because no matter how things went she just COULDN’T let go of the fact that she was trying to fit a mold that just didn’t suit her. She was raised with super high expectations, when she was really just kind of mid. And that’s fine, honestly, most people ARE mid, that’s why it’s mid. But she refused to see that those around her were shedding their social pressures, were adapting to the wilderness. They weren’t having a good time, they weren’t hunting and foraging because they were out there, camping for fun. Nobody wanted to be there. They were just trying not to complain about it, because they were all in the same boat.
Coach is similar. He simply won’t adapt. Refuses to. I mean this is a guy who’s STILL trying to live in the closet when there’s open lesbians making out in public around him. Who thinks of others as inherently monstrous when he himself, as a gay man, should know better. Because that’s what trying to fit your society-assigned role does to you.
It’s no accident that he and Jackie both spend a long time in the woods and neither of them can do something as basic as start a fucking campfire. Javi, a little kid, survived for MONTHS on his own in that cave. Coach couldn’t make it a day alone. Jackie couldn’t get through a night. They both rely so heavily on the team without ever once recognising it. Because SOMEONE was keeping the fires going. They both just ... refused to engage.
And just like Jackie can’t see that they’re not having fun out there in the woods, on the knifes edge of survival, Coach can’t see that they’re not having fun when they are so desperate they feel it’s warranted to sacrifice one of their own. He always thought of them as monsters, and he just sees what he expects to: a bunch of stupid useless teenage girls, finally doing what he always expected they would.
At any point... At ANY point he could’ve come in from the cold. He could’ve just accepted reality as they have. He could’ve taken some meat and accepted the price, as they have, joined them in their GRIEF about it, shared their humanity, and survived. Just as Jackie could’ve come in from the cold, and become part of the whole. But instead, they sit in the cold, consumed by their bitter hate, and decide that no, it’s everyone ELSE who’s wrong.
And who emerges from the burning cabin? A bunch of scared kids. Shauna, the FIRST cannibal, who saves Jackie’s prom dress before anything else. Travis, who grabs Javi’s wolf. Nat who grabs the ammunition - that they NEVER use on each other - because if they lost that they’d get SERIOUSLY desperate. And they protect each other, they make sure everyone makes it out. These supposed monsters who are so far gone they don’t even care about eating each other go out of their way to save each other, not just themselves.
Because Coach is wrong. Just like Jackie was wrong. Just like WE were wrong, in s1e1. Which brings me to my actual point.
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This question is asked so many times in S1 it’s almost a mantra. And the ‘jackets’ oath of silence really builds up that it must’ve been something REALLY bad, right? But S2E9 has really made me recognise that fundamentally... Act 1 Scene 1 is entirely what everyone who asks this question is expecting.
Imagine they DID know what really happened out there. With that bloodthirsty fucking look in their eyes...
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They’re not looking for an answer. They’re looking for a story. For an exciting spooky nightmare they didn’t take part in, so they can get a shiver and a thrill they didn’t earn.
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They’re not looking for a love story. They’re not looking to hear how HARD these scared, tragic, broken people fought to hold onto their morals and their humanity and their sanity even against their own survival. They’re not interested in Shauna blinding herself just to try to stop her hands from shaking. They’re not looking to hear about Travis choking down the blood of his brother just to make sure that he can really FEEL it. So he can share the guilt, and never ever pretend like it’s Just Meat. The look in his eye when he can’t think of any good response to Van’s arguments that he needs to let Javi save him. What they want is...
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They don’t want the context. And if the ‘jackets ever did try to tell anybody what actually DID happen out there, all they would see is ... Episode 1, Act 1, Scene 1. A bunch of monsters. Eating each other. Just like Jackie. Just like Coach. Just like we did, on first glance.
I’ve been saying this whole time that Yellowjackets is doing something really special. That it’s letting us see behind the curtain, that while everyone’s asking this big question, “what really happened?”, we’re the ones who get to know. Because it can’t be told. It can’t be spoken. It can only be seen. Experienced. I think that S2 has finally finished the first major arc in the teen timeline, that we now have the context to understand what comes next. And I do believe that it will get messy, it will devolve. Into fighting and screaming and battles. It’s tragic, but it looks like that’s the downward spiral, spiraling. As Travis and Nat deal with the guilt of what they did with Javi for each other. As Shauna and Nat butt heads and people pick sides. As Misty Mistys. As resources get even more desperate now their shelter is gone. As potentially new people (hikers? other cabin people?) get brought into conflict with them (I believe the cabin is a smoke signal, personally).
But don’t ever forget that we got here with love. Expect that the downward spiral will be lubricated with toxic, broken, codependant, self-destructive love as well. Watch them love each other to death... they’ve already begun.
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zeltqz · 3 months
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selfish | haitani ran
synopsis. haitani ran wants you, but can't have you because it would be considered selfish. content. 12k words (listen ik its long just hear me out..), fem!reader, friends to enemies to lovers, mild fwb situation gone wrong, ran's mother is in prison and gives shitty advice, implied sexual harassment (some creepy junkie, nothing happens though), mildly toxic ran, possessiveness, alcohol mentions, ran says hurtful things when he's drunk. NSFW content. authors note. this was inspired by an ask that i changed up a little because i LUV drama, so anon if you see this and recongise the plot creds to uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu for the idea!!!!
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You were jolted awake by the violent buzz of your phone, muffled by your pillow. You groggily sat up, wiping your eyes and slapped around under your pillow for your phone. Carefully, you rolled to the far edge of your bed and answered. 
“Hello?”
“Come down. I’m outside.”
“Ran it’s…2 in the morning.”
“Just come. I want to talk to you.”
You slipped from your bed, yawning and grabbing your house keys on the way out. Once you were outside, the instant regret of not bringing a jacket hit you as you shivered from the cold. You were about to run back inside, but decided against it when you saw Ran’s car parked at the end of the road, the lights on and the windshield wipers actively wiping away the snow. 
You resisted the urge to dramatically slam the door shut when you got in the car. “There better be a zombie apocalypse happening right now if you think waking me up at 2 am was a good idea.”
“So I can only contact you when the world is ending?”
“At 2am, yes.” You leaned your head back against his car seat, mindlessly closing your eyes to savour onto the lingering signs of sleep. “Why’re you even here? I thought you were out of town.”
“I had plans.” He drummed his fingers along the steering wheel. 
“Like plans or ‘plans’?” His smile turned into a smirk and you grimaced. “Ew don’t touch me.”  He laughed playfully and gestured at your seatbelt. You put it on as he started the car, pulling out onto the main road. 
“So where are you taking me anyway?” you asked, plucking at a loose thread on your pyjama bottoms. 
“Nowhere in particular. Just driving around.”
“Cool. So why am I here then?”
“Wanted company. Is that so wrong?” 
You looked his way, wondering if he was being serious right now. “Why didn’t you call your brother then? Or literally anybody else.”
“Because I wanted to see you.” He glanced in your direction, seeing the stunned expression on your face that you quickly fixed when you realised he was staring. 
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah sure. Whatever.” You yawned and turned to the side to lean against the window. 
“If you’re tired you can sleep.”
“I don’t wanna fall asleep on you. That’s rude.” Another yawn. “I’ll manage it.”
“You hungry?” he asked, pulling up towards a late night fast food drive-thru across the street. 
“Kinda. Now that I think about it, I barely ate all day.”
“Don’t know how you do it honestly.” He was plucking at his baby hairs as he slowed the car to a stop. “Alright whaddya want.” 
You peeked past his body to look at the menu on the wall, the bright lights straining your tired eyes. “Literally anything. I don’t care.” He clicked his tongue and stared at you. You sighed. “I don’t want you to waste money on me.”
“Don’t stress,” he said, waving off your concern with a wave of his hand. You settled in your seat as he rolled down the window. You were distractedly scrolling on your phone to pass time as he spent the next five minutes ordering. 
Looking up, you saw he already had the bag of food on his lap, but instead of handing it to you, his arm is leaning against the window, smirking as he talks to the cashier working the drive-thru. She has her finger twirling her hair, leaning so far from the narrow window you’re surprised she hasn’t fallen out yet. 
“Hello?? Can we go?!” you snapped. 
“Oh, sorry.” The girl leered in your direction, taking you back momentarily before she fixed her features in time when she looked back at Ran. “It was nice meeting you,” she said softly, her voice lacking the same venomous tone she gave you earlier.
“Pleasure meeting you too. See you around beautiful.” You don’t know if he winked or did his signature smirk at her, but it was something of that nature because she had to fan herself to calm the redness on her face as his car began driving off.
You took the bag of food from his lap and ripped it open. “Do you really have to flirt with every girl you meet?”
“Someone sounds jealous.” You weren’t even looking in his direction but you could envision the shit eating grin of his face when he said that.
“I’m not jealous. I just know how to keep it in my pants and not go around flirting with every guy I meet.” You bit the packaging of the straw and poked it in your drink more aggressively than you intended.
“Have you maybe thought that’s because you just suck at flirting?” 
You almost choked on your drink with how quick you moved your head to face him. “I don’t suck at flirting!”
He snorted, taking one hand off the wheel to support his head as he leaned against the door. “Sureeeeeeeee.”
“Don't say sure like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t believe me!”
He shrugged. “I don’t.” He stopped the car at a red light. “Show me how you flirt then.”
You stared down at the food in your hands, contemplating if you should. When you looked up, you saw him already staring at you, waiting. “Fine.” You wiped your hands and set your food back down, putting it back in the takeout bag before shifting to face him on your seat. 
You cleared your throat, readying yourself to speak. The second you opened your mouth, it was like your mind blanked and you instantly closed it again. “This is too embarrassing. I can’t.”
“It’s only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing,” he responded back, shifting his attention back on the road when the light changed to green.
“No. I just know you’re going to laugh at me if I do it.”
“No I won’t.” He put a hand over his heart. “Scouts honour”
“You’re so ridiculous,” you grumbled but laughed nonetheless. “Okay, I’ll do it once we get home. I need time to prepare.”
Ran seemed to agree with that and in the fifteen minutes it took you to get home, you finished your food. He was parked outside your house across the street and you were idly sipping at your drink.
“Alright, ready?” He turned the engine off, leaving the radio still on.
“Wait this is my favourite song.” You inched forward to turn the volume up only to recoil when he slapped your hand away. “What the hell?!”
“Stop stalling.” He ignored the frustrated look on your face. “Show me already. I didn’t drive you here for nothing.”
“You shouldn’t have driven here at 3 in the morning anyway!”
“So ungrateful.” He pinched your nose with two fingers, laughing when you swatted him away. “Show meeee.”
“Okay fine! Fine!” You set your drink in the cupholder and turned to look at him. “I actually don’t know how to flirt.”
“Had a feeling.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Want me to teach you,” he asked gently, looking directly into your eyes. You found it hard to look away in that moment, like so much was riding on your answer. 
You nodded slowly. “Yeah… okay…”
“Alright. Guys love it when you’re confident and can hold eye contact. So hold eye contact as much as you can, but don’t stare like a creep. That shit’s weird. Show ‘em you’re engaged in the conversation when they’re talking about themselves and just stare into their eyes. Shit, that even gets me all fuzzy when a girl knows how to hold it. Had me stutterin’ and shit once.”
You blinked and envisioned a stuttering, flustered Ran in your mind. “Really? Eye contact? That’s all?” He shrugged and nodded. “That sounds really hard to believe honestly.”
“Really?” You nodded. “Reaaaally?” he repeated, extra slow, giving you enough time to back out when you have the chance.
“Yes. Reaaaaally Ran.”
“Tell me what you did today.”
You crossed your arms and looked up at the ceiling. “Well…I woke up this morning…I went to work, had lunch, worked until 4, then came home and studied.”
“In detail.”
“Is that really necessary?” you complained, but the look on his face was completely serious. Sighing, you settled back into your seat. “Okay so I went to bed late as fuck last night and I woke up at like 12 which was so bad because my shift started in fifteen minutes. So I wondered whether or not I should go and—”
“Look at me when you talk.”
You were about to slap him. You sighed and turned to look at him. 
“I went to back late last night and woke up at like…” Your mind blanked, and you struggled to find your words or remember what the hell you did hours ago with him looking so intently at you. “...11 ish? Which was—”
“You said it was 12, no?” he tilted his head, his stare unwavering.
You gulped. “Yes. Sorry. I woke up at 12 and my shift started at 12:15.” Your face burned. Just what the hell was wrong with you. In that moment, you felt like you were out of your own body, spirit you watching as you did nothing but blink uselessly at Ran. You fought the urge to slap yourself and ignore his slutty mind tricks. 
You looked down at your lap only to have him lift your face back to him with a single finger. “You’re not done with your story yet.”
“...right…right.” You cleared your throat again. He leaned forward, forearms resting on the steering wheel, locking his gaze on you. Was Ran always this hot? Surely you’ve noticed it before but not like this, where your mind is focusing only on him, and pushing all other stray thoughts out of the way 
You inhaled deeply and regained composure. “And I briefly considered whether or not I should go in late…but my boss has been kinda mean to me lately and…”
He raised an eyebrow, nodding as he studied your face, and urged you to continue when you stopped talking.
“...so I went in and finished my shift. My boss wasn’t too mad at me which was good I guess.”
“Then what?” His voice was purposefully different than usual, it was lower in that moment, throwing you off balance completely.
Your throat suddenly felt dry. “One second.” You grabbed your drink from before and began taking long sips from it, still feeling the intensity of his stare against the side of your face. Once you gulped half the drink down, you forcefully swallowed your burp, not wanting to ruin the weird, but heated atmosphere in the car with your natural bodily functions. 
“Then I went home to study for my exam on Thursday and fell asleep. Then your annoying ass woke me up and here I am.”
He laughed lightly, pulling back to return back to his seat. “How hard was that? Be honest.” His head rested back against the headrest, smirking at you. “Don’t lie now.”
You looked down at your lap, averting your eyes from his and refusing to make eye contact. You hated that you had to admit that it actually worked, his intense eye contact had actually effected you. He kept urging you until you persisted and you groaned inwardly. “Fine. It worked.”
“Seeeeee?” He jostled you playfully, and you smiled weakly. “I told ya. Anyway, want more advice?”
“There’s more?” Was the eye contact not enough? You didn’t even want to think how much power this man has. 
“Yeah. Say his name a lot. Drives me crazy when I hear a girl say my name.”
You snorted. “Sounds oddly narcissistic of you,” you retorted before you could catch yourself. “Sorry.”
“(Y/N),” he called your name in a deep, rumbling tone that had you internally shut down and log off. 
Once you came back, you grinned, impressed. “Wow…you’re good,” you admitted, subtly rubbing your hand along your arm to rid it of the goosebumps that seemed to sprout up whenever he spoke to you in that tone. “You’re actually a danger to society.”
“It’s fun making girls all flustered.” His hand rose to rest on your thigh. When you didn’t shrug it off or tell him to stop, his fingers began to caress softly against your skin. His touch felt electrifying, zapping through the fabric of your pyjama bottoms as he continued his actions.
“Something wrong?” he asked teasingly when he saw you struggle to control yourself, clenching your thighs together.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re not gonna tell me to stop?”
“No.”
“I see.” His thumb continued to stroke your inner thigh.
You don’t know what possessed you at that moment, but you grabbed his hand and placed it between your legs. He looked at you, confused and surprised at your sudden boldness. 
You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck, and whispered into his ear, “I can be seductive too, you know?”
Something in your words ignited a flame inside him, something primal and raw when your lips softly grazed down his ear. He turned his head to meet yours. 
“I’m sure you can be,”  he said softly, leaning in to kiss you gently. The kiss was only a soft press of his lips against yours, and your desire to want him to kiss you for real grew stronger by the second.
His hand moved down your body, helping you pass the console to straddle him. One hand slid down the back of his neck as you kissed each other hungrily, your tongue sliding out to meet his. He bit your bottom lip, gently sucking it while running his tongue along the inside of your mouth, slowly parting your lips with his. 
“Fuck,” you breathed out, pulling away to look down at him, resting your forehead against his. You went back in, and the kiss quickly turned heated, hungry and wild. “This doesn’t mean anything, right?” you asked, panting slightly.
He broke the eye contact to look down at his hands on your waist, sliding down to your hips and held you firmly in place, leaving no space between you. “Nah. Let’s just have fun.”
He cupped the back of your neck to bring you in for another kiss, your insides melting as your body temperature rose at the feeling of his rough hands working you over. He fumbled with the drawstrings of your pj bottoms until they loosened, slipping his hands inside, desperate to touch bare skin.
“No panties,” he grinned against your lips, giving you a peck when you flushed. 
“They’re uncomfortable at night…gotta let it breathe, you know?” you mumbled, looking down at his lap. 
He nudged your head up using his own and reattached his lips to yours. His hands continued to explore your body, roaming up and down your back, clutching at your waist. He placed his hand firmly on the back of your head, gilding your head movements into the kiss.
His thumb traced circles on the soft flesh on your hip as your mouth left his to plant open, wet kisses along his neck, teeth nipping and skimming when the radio thought it’ll be a wonderfully convenient idea to switch from the soft music it was playing earlier, to sudden heavy death metal, loud instruments and screaming booming through the car. 
You both jumped apart, your head smacked against the roof of the car, wailing as you winced when Ran started laughing. “It’s not funny!”
He doesn’t stop laughing because why would he, but he at least reached forward, your body on his lap following his movements as he turned the volume down.
“Why do you even have that on your playlist?!” 
“Rindou had a…phase. I hate it too, don’t worry.” 
You continued to rub the sore spot and pouted when you felt a headache blooming, already kissing goodbye to your good night’s sleep tonight. 
“Come here.” He smoothed a hand over the sore spot. “Better?”
“Kinda.” Your sour mood lessens and you start laughing, hiding your face in his shoulder. Your shoulders shook as you struggled to control your laughter. He laughed alongside you, his arms tightening around your body as he pulled you back against him. 
“That scared the living shit out of me,” you panted, finally catching your breath, kissing down the side of his neck. 
He turned his face to properly meet yours. You kissed him deeply, slowly rocking your hips with his as his strong hands squeezed tightly against your ass. After a while, you broke the kiss, your body now craving more than just kissing.
“Stop teasing me,” you complained, pushing him lightly on the chest.
“‘S fun seeing you so worked up,” he said with a shitty smirk, pressing a kiss to your neck. Your head lolled back as he steadily worked his way down the column of your throat, then down your chest.
His fingers bunched around the hem of your shirt, about to tug it off when you looked outside. The sun was still dark, but the promise of sunrise just around the corner as it rounded near 4 am. Obviously people wouldn’t be up and walking around this late, but the thought still made you stiffen.
“What’s wrong?” Ran asked, pausing with your shirt half way up your stomach.
“Can we go inside?” you asked, dragging the tips of your nails along the flat plane of his stomach. Despite having spent the last ten minutes making out with this man, the question implied more and your face burned when his eyes widened a bit. 
You looked down at your hands moving under his shirt, tracing patterns across his skin and bit down a giggle when he squirmed as you hit a particularly ticklish spot, poking his belly button. You took a mental note of that for later…
“You sure you wanna?” he asked carefully. You nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.” 
You quietly stumbled out of the car, holding his hand as you crossed the street to your house. You were fumbling with your keys, hard to find the keyhole in the darkness. It wasn’t helping your focus and accuracy with Ran behind you, fingers caressing your hips and waist, nipping at your neck. You let out a soft moan, giving up with your keys to lean your head back against his shoulder to give him more access before you quickly came to your senses.
“I need to open the door, go away,” you said with a huff, ignoring his laughter as you pushed him away. 
The door slammed shut and you locked it before pouncing on Ran, letting him press you up hard against the door as he hungrily devoured your mouth. His lips branded the soft skin of your neck as he dipped lower, carrying you to your bedroom. You were dropped mindlessly on your bed, bouncing from the impact as he hovered over you, your mind pleasantly blank as you focused solely on how badly you needed him right now.
His fingers slipped down your underwear and you saw stars.
~*~
As you were walking through the aisles of the grocery store, your music was interrupted by your phone ringing. You jerked your phone out from your jeans pocket to stare at the caller ID. Just a long string of numbers. 
“Who is this?” you asked suspiciously, racking your brain for a time you handed your number out to anyone you hadn’t saved.
“It’s Ran. What, forgot about me already?” 
Your mood immediately dampened and you clutched your phone tighter in your hand. “Why’re you calling me?”
“Easy with the hostility, man. I just wanted to talk to you.”
“And you couldn’t have done this, I dunno, in the two months you spent ghosting me? And don’t tell me “easy with the hostility”, I have a right to be fucking mad after you just hit and dipped like that.”
“Hit and dipped?”
“You ghosted me dumbass.”
You heard a loud exhale. “Right… yeah about that.”
“What do you want Ran?”
“I miss you.”
You almost forgot how to breathe. “Areyoufuckingkiddingmerightnow?”
“You heard me. I said I missed you.”
“Let me guess, there’s no other girls available right now, right? That’s why you’re bugging me?” It would be a wild accusation if not for the fact after that night you spent together, his phone buzzed incessantly, the constant vibrations waking you up and you saw notifications of girls in his inbox, sending him the usual “are you up?” text messages, followed up with images of themselves half naked.
He hummed. “Why would there be other girls? I’m talking to you right now.”
“Because you’re you.”
“Ok, but I’m serious though. I miss you a lot.” You found it so hard to give this man any sympathy.
“Well who’s fault is that? Nobody asked you to stop speaking to me after that night.”
“I know I know. I messed up. I just didn’t know how to approach you after that.” He sounded seriously stressed over this, and your face softened for a fraction of a moment before memories of you constantly checking your phone to see if he bothered to open your message yet reappear in your mind; just like that, your scowl is back, sympathy long gone.
“Right. Because THE Haitani Ran gets nervous after sex. Wow, shocker.”
“I mean, you were the best lay I ever had.”
Your traitorous heart stuttered without your permission, making your lips quirk up into a smile. “Really?” You cursed yourself for even entertaining his bullshit, and cursed your body even more for reacting in such a manner.
“Yeah, course you were.”
“Then why’d you ghost me? It’s like you want me to hate you. I swear to god for the life of me I’ll never under male logic.”
“It’s not male logic. ‘S just me, being a dumbass.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“This was different though because we were friends before we fucked, and I didn’t wanna make things weird. I had no clue how to text you after that.” You guessed that made sense, having felt the same awkwardness the morning after waking up sore with him beside you. 
“Oh. Well, it’s only weird if you make it weird.”
“Right. So…can I make it up to you?”
“How?”
“Let’s hang out.”
“Like hang out or ‘hang out’?” Part of you wanted it to be the first one, not wanting to ruin anymore awkwardness in your friendship by sleeping with each other again. But the other part of your body already was hellbent on it being the second, already addicted to the way he makes you feel in bed. 
“The former. But,” his voice dropped lower, “it can also be the latter, if you’re down.”
“I’m down,” you said a bit too quickly for someone trying to seem indifferent.
“Cool. See you tonight then.” 
Before you could say goodbye, he was already saying hi to someone else, and then hung up. Any negative emotions you felt for him was tempered by the excitement buzzing through your limbs as you continued shopping for groceries with a dopey smile on your face, happy you were able to patch things up.
~*~
Time passes since you both agreed to this weird friends with benefits arrangement. All awkwardness is stomped on and thrown out the window, now more open to the matter. Months go by of you losing yourself in his sheets, of him mapping out your body with his tongue, latching his mouth onto your skin and marking you all over. Months go by of you craving his touch whenever you’re alone, picturing his voice in your ear, his presence caging you from above when you’re with other men. Months go by of you both making plans, with you, more than him, staring at your phone the entire day, starting the mental countdown to when you’re next able to see him. 
Life is good for Ran, until the day he dreaded the most every year rolls around. The day he has to visit his mother in prison along with Rindou. Their meet-ups are nothing more than an annual thing, visiting her on her birthday every year. 
“So what have you been up to this year?” she asked disinterestedly. 
Ran could see right through her, can see she’s started using again if the bloodshot eyes and the not so subtle way she rubs her nose were any clue. 
“Good ma,” Rindou responded. “I’ve took up DJ’ing in a few of Dad’s clubs in my free time.”
At the mention of her ex-husband, she sneered. Rindou rolled his eyes. “Are you gonna do that every time I mention him ma?”
“I’ll react however the fuck I want when you bring up that passed around, dried up whore of a man,” she snapped. Rindou doesn’t react, already used to her mood swings and aggressive comments about his father. She jerked her head over to her weirdly quiet son. “And you? What’s your deal?”
“My deal?” Ran asked, matching her levels of indifference. 
“What have you been up to,” she repeated slower, like he was dumb. 
“Nothing.”
“What? Your life is that shit you haven’t done anything for the past year? Nothing at all?” She stared at Ran who responded with silence and a blank stare. “Even I’ve done shit and I’m stuck in this hell hole.”
“Well whose fault is that?” Ran snapped back. Rindou slapped his forehead.
“Listen here you—”
“Ran’s been seeing a girl ma,” Rindou said quickly, hoping that small drop of information about his brother’s life was enough to diffuse a bad situation. 
“A girl?? Who?”
“Just some girl. You don’t know her and never will,” Ran grumbled.
“Is she…?” she gestured at him, at herself. He didn’t respond and she changed the wording of her question. “How did you meet?”
“She’s not involved in what we do ma. If that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Good.” She let out an exhale in relief. “And you make sure to leave her out of it.”
“What?”
She pointed her finger at him. “Don’t pursue this girl because you’re selfish and want to bring her in potential danger. Keep her around, fuck her or whatever it is you do in your spare time that you wanna keep a secret from me, but if you pursue her romantically then you’re a selfish piece of shit.”
Ran stiffened, his glare hardening in her direction. “Keep out of my goddamn business.”
“You know I’m right, Ran. That’s why you’re mad. Isn’t that right, Rindou?” She looked at her youngest son who looked tentatively between them both, staying stubbornly silent. She clicked her tongue and turned back to Ran. “You’d rather put this girl in danger because you can’t stand being alone by yourself. You’ve got issues, Ran. That’s why you haven’t had a relationship longer than 3 months. Correct?”
Ran stared down at the table, silent. 
“Do you care about her?” she asked and Rindou had no idea if he pictured it or not but it looked like she softened for a moment.
Ran didn’t respond, but nodded in slight movements. 
“If you truly care about this girl, you’ll leave her alone. It’s for her own good. Bringing her into your lifestyle is just selfish.”
“Times up,” The officer from the back of the room said, walking towards the table with handcuffs. 
She stood up and placed her hands behind her back. “Do the right thing, Ran.”
“How do you know that’s true though?” he asked.
“Speaking from experience. Look at me, suffering from the actions of your father. He brought me into this lifestyle, and I wasn’t prepared for it. So now I’m facing the consequences. You’re just like your father, Ran. An emotionally distant, sadistic, messed up man. Embrace it or don’t. Try to change or don’t. Either way I don’t care. Just don’t ruin others because of that nature.”
The officer tightened her handcuffs and locked them. “Let’s go,” he said, before escorting her out of the room.
Rindou looked at his brother with sympathy. “You okay?” His hand rose to rest of his shoulder but Ran stood up before he could make contact.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned around. “Let’s go.”
~*~
You weren’t sure what was going on with Ran but he seemed emotionally distant. He was no longer affectionate towards you when you both hung out, his response time was a lot slower than it used to be. When you had sex, he was totally fine though, which weirded you out because he would randomly do a complete 180 out of nowhere with the affection. 
“That was amazing,” you said panting as you collapsed back on the bed. Ran hummed in agreement, gathering you in his chest as you cuddled. You buried your face in his neck, the scent of his cologne heavy in your nose.
“I know,” he sighed, looking down and kissing your forehead. You smiled harder, fighting back the urge to giggle and use his warm body as a blanket.
You were playing with the tip of his braid, occasionally twirling it around the tip of your index finger when you decided now was the time to approach the topic that’d been brewing inside you the last few months.
“So…” you traced your fingernail across the spiral tattoo on his chest.
He looked down at you, a lazy smirk on his face. “So?” He kissed your forehead again.
You bit down on your lip and forced yourself to look into Ran’s eyes. “This might sound cliche, or cheesy or whatever but…”
“Doubt it,” he snorted, taking your hand off his chest and linking his fingers with yours, clutching your hand tightly. When you looked stumped for words, he nudged his shoulder, softly jostling you in the process. “What’s up?”
“Well…” God, this was harder than you thought it would be. 
You chewed the skin of your lips as you tried to calm your nerves before you exploded with anxiety. You nearly froze when he placed his thumb against your lip, tugging it free from its brawl with your teeth. 
Fuck it. “I just wanted to know…what are we…?”
It didn’t help your already racing nerves when he froze beneath you, and you swore you could feel the blood in his body stop flowing at that moment. 
He sat up abruptly, sending you sliding off his chest. You blinked uselessly at the muscled plane of his back, grabbing the sheets and clutching it towards your chest, your body deprived of the warmth his body provided earlier now making your limbs go cold.
He scratched his hair and sighed exhaustedly. “I gotta be honest with you.”
You barely found your voice as you softly said, “Go on.”
“I don’t want a relationship right now.”
“Oh.” You quietly cleared your throat, sitting upright and shifting backwards on your mattress until your back hit the headboard. “With me…or?”
“Anyone.”
“So…what was the point of this then?”
“I dunno? I mean I just thought you liked…” he gestured at the both of you, hoping you’d see where he was coming from. When you didn’t and just stared at him confused, he got more frustrated. “You know, this? What were we doing? I didn’t know you—” He sighed again and groaned. 
You felt like your throat was stuffed with cotton with how hard it was to breathe. “But I thought you liked me?”
“I do like you.”
“So then what’s the hold up?”
“Just because I like you doesn’t mean I have to be with you, okay? I’m busy all the fucking time and you’ll just be getting in the way of that,” he said curtly, not bothering to hide the clear frustration in his voice.
Hurt prickled across your skin, your ears felt full as you toned out everything he was saying. He turned to face you, those eyes of his that normally made you flush from head to toe now felt so cold and distant, like you didn’t know who the man in front of you was. 
“Just get out, Ran.” You choked back tears as they threatened to fall from your eyes, but you quickly looked away before they could. He’d seen you vulnerable beneath him many times, but this time was different. You couldn’t—no, you won’t allow him the satisfaction of seeing he made you this upset.
“No wait.” He reached out for you, his heart shattering when you pushed him away, sulking. 
He had a weird feeling in his chest, one that he wasn’t used to feeling, and instead of combating his emotions like a regular person, he discarded them  to the side, pretending they didn’t exist. He sighed exasperatedly and slid off your bed.
You moved to lay down, covering your entire body with your bedsheets as you heard him pack up his things. He silently changed and gently closed the door when he left. Once you heard your front door close, you sat up and wiped your tears, grabbing your phone from your dresser. 
The next few hours were spent watching youtube videos, laughing softly at the comments people left. It made you feel less useless about yourself and tried to desperately take your mind off what just happened prior. Honestly, you blame yourself for even bringing it up. It wasn’t worth ruining a two year friendship over.
Sure, it’s normal to catch feelings for a guy that treats you nice, isn’t selfish in bed and actually takes his time to account for your needs. That doesn’t mean you’re romantically interested in him though, right? Guaranteed it could’ve been any other of your friends, like Sanzu or even Mikey and you would’ve developed those same feelings, right? 
Before you had any time to digest that topic deeper, a text message notification popped up on your screen.
Ran: ok so that was awkward before. Can we talk this over properly?? I dont want to ruin what we had honestly. It…was a mistake to start sleeping together i know. We both had different intentions and i apologise if I sent you mixed feelings. Your friendship is something I value a lot and I don’t wanna lose that. So can we start over??? Just be friends this time? 
You: sure i guess. Sorry if i made things uncomfortable earlier.
Ran: ur good. Ill see you later then?
You: yeah okay
You and Ran had fought many times over the course of your friendship, and each time you both were able to move on like nothing happened. But this time, it just felt different. You felt it.
~*~
“You know it’s 3 in the morning right?” Sanzu rubbed his eyes, yawning obnoxiously. “I mentally check out from 2-10am.” 
“Shut up.” You dig around in his pocket and pull out a box of cigarettes. “Give me a lighter.”
“Since when do you smoke?” he asked, then tacked on, “Oh and I don’t have one.”
“Then why do you have a box of cigarettes then?!” 
Sanzu blinked at your sudden outburst. “Okay first. Calm down. Inside voices, we’re outside right now.” You fought the urge to point out how contradictory it was to use your inside voice outside but let it slide. “Secondly, why are you acting so…”
“So what?” 
“You know…” he looked carefully at you, trying to gauge your reaction if he were to say the words he truly wanted to say.
“If you’re about to say bitchy save it.”
“I wasn’t!”
“Then what were you going to say?” you raised your brow, waiting. He slowly closed his mouth and looked down at the floor in defeat. “Exactly,” you said triumphantly, then exhaled softly and looked around the street for any convenience stores that sell lighters.
“So can I ask why you suddenly want to smoke?”
“I’m stressed out okay?” You began walking towards the 24 hour convenience store across the street, Sanzu following behind you. “I sort of, maybe not, confessed to Ran earlier and he wanted to stay friends. So now I don’t think I can handle being in the same room as him without wanting to die.”
Sanzu yawned again, scratching his eye. “That sucks. I dunno what that has to do with me though.”
“I need company! I feel like I’m going to explode if I’m alone with myself tonight.”
 The bell chimed when you both entered the store, instantly heading over to the counter to buy the lighter. The cashier went to the back to grab the lighter.
“All I’m hearing is that you missed me,” Sanzu teased, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He was expecting you to push him off like you normally do. He definitely was not expecting you to chuckle, hug him back and mildly not in agreement. 
He backed away dramatically, narrowly avoiding stumbling into a display shelf and tapped your shoulder to get your attention. When you turned around, he kept staring gingerly at your face, causing you to raise your eyebrow.
“What?”
“Who are you and what did you do to my friend?”
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, pushing him away from you. The cashier handed you the lighter and you paid him, leaving the store with Sanzu behind you. Grabbing the box of cigarettes, you lit one up and exhaled for the nth time tonight.
“Do you think it’s normal for a guy to just be friends with a girl they used to have a thing with? Or if it’s normal for them to be friends with girls they know like them?”
Sanzu shrugged. “Are you asking the opinion of all men or just Ran? Because nobody knows what that guy is thinking when it comes to women. He’s way too comfortable around girls so probably? I mean, it’ll be in the back of his mind, sure, but as long as you’re not awkward around him it’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Guess we’ll have to see.” He pulled the cigarette from your mouth and dropped it on the floor, stubbing it out with his foot. At your shocked face, he held his hand out. “I don’t want you taking on bad habits because you’re having an emotional meltdown.”
You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m not having an emotional meltdown.”
“Sure…” He yawned for the fifth time tonight. “If I stay out any longer I’m going to pass out on the street. I’ll see you later, okay?” He pat you on the head, deliberately ignoring your complaint of “don’t fuck up my hair” and made his way home.
~*~
In the time you spent avoiding anything Ran related, that also meant avoiding people and situations that he was guaranteed to be there. It meant you stop hanging out with your mutual friends in groups, stopped going to parties you knew he was hosting. Was it bad your other friendships had to be jeprodized because you were too scared to confront your newfound, fresh start with Ran? Yeah, it wasn’t your proudest moment either. But it also meant you were spending a lot more time with Sanzu and Mikey. Out of everyone in his gang, they were the least close, only talking to each other with work related issues. Sanzu and Ran had this unspoken hatred with each other, that made the two of them avoid each other at all costs, not wanting to start another argument or fight.
That was great news for you because it would mean no impromptu visits, like the incident at Hanma’s house, or no unexpected calls from Ran like when you were hanging out with Kakucho, or no fear that Ran would be upstairs in his room when you were hanging out with Rindou. 
Hanging out with Sanzu more often also meant getting closer with Senju. She’s two years younger than you and you treated her like a little sister. It was her birthday next weekend and Takeomi was in charge of the planning the surprise birthday party, which meant nobody had a single clue who was coming.
If that were the case, you wouldn’t have shown up that day. 
“Ran. Are you going to Senju’s party?” Takeomi asked, exhaling cigarette smoke over the phone.
“Do I have to? I don’t know that girl.”
“I don’t care what you do. Just tell me so I can start planning her shit.”
“Depends honestly. Who’s going?”
Takeomi started listing off the names which included some of Senju’s college friends that Ran didn’t care about, some of their mutual friends like Sanzu (duh), Mikey, Kakucho, you, Rindou—wait, hold up.
“Wait, (y/n)’s going?” Ran cut Takeomi off mid sentence.
Takeomi grunted. “Yes.”
“Fine. I’ll go.” He hung up before Takeomi could say anything. Honestly Ran couldn’t care less about Senju, his only motivation was the thought of seeing you.
The fact he sent you that message, hoping it’ll mend whatever dent was placed in your friendship, only to get slapped in the face when you spent the last four months avoiding him pissed him off to no extent. He wasn’t blocked, he knew you wouldn’t do that to him, but he didn’t have the courage to check either. Maybe this party would be the perfect time to talk to you, to catch up and mend until he could selfishly hold you in his arms again. 
He didn’t spend the whole four months pining over you, the group of girls in his bed would confirm that, but there was an unknown feeling in his chest, something always wriggling at the back of his mind that he knew distantly was caused by you. It was getting annoying, having his shitty mother’s words ringing in the back of his mind every time he thought about making up with you. It took him about three months to realise that he actually loved you, whether that was a fact he wanted to accept or not. That feeling he was deliberately avoiding, was his conscious telling him to stop self sabotaging himself and just tell you how he feels.
He can’t wait to see you next Saturday.
~*~
When Ran says he knew nothing about your life in the last four months it wasn't an exaggeration. He genuinely had no idea who you were with, what you were doing, where and when. So you could only imagine his shock when he sees you’ve somehow become best buddies with Manjiro and fucking Sanzu, the idiot currently sitting between your legs on the floor as you braided his hair. 
You looked so pretty tonight, dressed up semi formal. Your hair and makeup was done in a way that Ran had never seen you in before. Senju sat beside you, talking loudly and making you laugh. Sanzu scrolled on his phone, waiting for you to finish his hair. Mikey sat next to you, his head resting on your shoulder as he looked like he was on the verge of sleep.
If you noticed him come in tonight, you sure hid it well, not even bothering to acknowledge his existence. He was planning on talking to you after Senju blew out her candles, that was until he saw what he did. 
After a load of drinks, everybody was pretty tipsy, including you and Manjiro as you both made out in the patio, his hands caressing your thighs as you sat sideways on his lap. The patio was filled with Senju’s friends in the pool, the smell of barbecue (requested by Senju) filling the air as people hovered around the grill, desperate for some savoury meat. It was hard to see you and Manjiro at first, but he did, as if his eyes were automatically drawn to you no matter where in the room.
Granted he had no right to feel the way he did, he knows that, and his words from that night constantly play on loop in his mind. He told you he wanted to be just friends and you agreed to that, and friends don’t get mad at friends for having relationships. But his boss of all fucking people? He wouldn’t give this much of a fuck if it was Shion or something.
“Drink up bitch!” Sanzu shoved a cup into Ran’s hand, resting his arm on the taller boy’s shoulder as he watched Ran grimace at the beverage.
“The fuck is this supposed to be?” 
“Dunno honestly. Just mixed a bunch of shit together.” Sanzu clinked his cup with his. “You’ll probably wake up tomorrow with memory loss and severe liver damage, but bon appetit.”
“I’m not drinking your mystery drink.”
“Boo. No fun.” Sanzu pouted, taking a big gulp of his drink.
“Why are you even talking to me?”
“Because you look like you’re about to kill somebody and as much as I relate to that feeling, I don’t want any drama on Senju’s birthday. She’ll never shut the fuck up about it. So drink up and enjoy the party dude.” He lifted the cup to Ran’s lips which stayed stubbornly closed until he gave in, making a face as it burned down his throat.
“See! It’s not so bad!” Sanzu slapped his back before walking away, ready to hand out samples of his new drink to random people. 
Fifteen minutes later and whatever Sanzu poured in that drink did wonders, Ran couldn’t help but admit. He got over his sour funk sooner than he’d thought. The liquor running through his veins made him socialise a hundred times better and managed to snag five pretty girls’ numbers tonight. He was currently leaning against the wall, hovering beside this girl he couldn’t remember the name of for the life of him (it wasn’t his fault, he blames it on Sanzu), as she tilted up to whisper provocative things in his ear. She looked like she’d be good in bed, and that was all Ran was thinking about when he saw your hair bounce past him.
Ran looked just in time to see you disappear through a doorway, and he abruptly pulled himself away from the girl before him. “I’ll be back in a sec. Just…do whatever,” he said, not even looking at her as he walked away. 
When he rounded the corner, his stomach did backflips as he saw you yell something to some people inside a room down the hallway before turning around. You almost recoiled when you saw Ran and mentally cursed the fact there was no objects, or people you could hide behind.
You pressed your lips into a wry smile and tried to walk past him before he grabbed your arm, stopping you. “What, so you’re not talking to me at all now?”
“Okay, calm down. It’s been like four months.”
“Which is a long time?” His phone lit up in his hand, a text message of a girl asking where he is with a string of sad faces emojis, and to add fuel to the fire, a tongue and water splash emoji. Ran clicked his tongue and made a mental note to block her when he’s done with this. 
You scoffed. “Sorry I hadn’t been able to entertain you these last four months, Ran. I just assumed girls 1 though 56 had it handled for me.”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean,” he said curtly, shoving his phone back in his pocket.
You looked up at him, mouth in a thin line as you hissed, “Exactly how it sounds. Now I have somewhere to be.” You tried to skirt past him but he blocked your way out. He suddenly felt too big, too close, and your simmering temper was beginning to surface. “Ran seriously move.” You tried pushing his chest, but it didn’t work.
“Why? So you can go back to sucking face with Mikey?” Shut up…please, just shut up, sober Ran was yelling inside his head, but the words just came out before he could stop them. Note to self, never drink anything from Sanzu ever again. 
“Sucking face? Why are you…why do you even care?! You’re the one that said “I don’t want a relationship right now” so you don’t get a right to act all possessive over me and shit. Just because you’re too emotionally stunted to maintain a goddamn relationship, doesn’t mean everybody else is like that.” Your chest burnt with anger at his fucking audacity. Seriously, who does he think he is?
“What, so you want a relationship with Mikey, that it? Someone’s who is even more emotionally stunted than everybody in this fucking party combined?”
“And if I do? Is that your business? Whatever my decision is, it’s not up to you. Now get out of my way.” You leaned in close to his face as you glared up at him. His anger gave way into something more heated that made him lick his lips, wondering how you’d react if he were to kiss you right now.  You were about to attempt to walk away when Kakucho stumbled out of one of the rooms in the hallway, slightly tipsy.
“What’s going on? Why are you yelling?”
“Kakucho. Get your boy and tell him to leave me the fuck alone.” You pointed at Ran who snapped out of his stupor.
“Ran, let her leave.”
“Not till I get my answers.”
You pinched your temples, not even bothering to lower your voice as you yelled in sheer frustration, “What answers Ran?! I don’t owe you shit!”
“What’s going on?” Mikey stumbled out of the room you were exiting earlier and his arm instantly found itself on your waist. You were still seething, your heavy breathing only calming down once Mikey’s hand curled a little more around you, pulling you flush against his side.
“Nothing. Let’s go,” you said softly to Mikey, letting him lead you back to the room.
Ran’s anger returned tenfold upon seeing your hand hold Mikey back. “Since when are you two such good friends?”
“That’s none of your damn business,” you yelled back from the end of the hallway, your grip around Mikey tightening significantly.
“Don’t tell me you’re fucking him now? What is he your new boy toy? You’re that desperate?” 
Kakucho slapped a hand on his forehead, regretting not pulling Ran away before he had the chance.
You froze at the door, turning to look at him. In the years of your friendship with Ran, he’d seen you get angry many times, yelling at characters in movies when they do something stupid, yelling at him over the mic when you were playing video games. And in every one of those instances, he was never on the receiving end of your anger. The look you gave him, if it could, would’ve turned him to stone with how irate you looked right now. Dimly, he knew what he was doing was wrong, and if he was sober enough he would've definitely stopped himself from saying those things, but he was hurt, and angry, and those two combinations had him feeling like he had a right to make you feel the same way.
“I’m sorry, what?” You stepped out of Mikey’s grip. “Oh this is fucking rich. The irony right now, holy shit!” You began laughing. “If what I’m doing is considered “desperate” to you, then what does that make you? Pathetic? Huh? Needing fifty girls attention on you every second of every fucking day doesn’t seem desperate to you?”
Your loud laughter began to draw people in the party towards the hallway, interested in the loud argument going on. Kakucho grabbed Ran’s arm, shaking his head as if he could read his thoughts. “Don’t respond. Let’s just go.”
Ran shoved his hand off him, sending Kakucho back against the wall. “Nah I’m gonna respond.” He turned back to you, uncaring of all the eyes watching the scene take place. “You stay bringing up these girls in every single conversation I have with you and shame them like you weren’t proud to be one of them months ago.”
Your eyebrows rose in surprise. “So that’s all I was? A number to you? Enlighten me Ran, what number was I? 34? 52?”
“What fucking difference does it make if you know.”
“It makes no difference. I just want to hear you say it.” You closed the distance between you both and poked a finger into his chest. “I wanna hear you say that you enjoy ruining girls lives by making them fall for you with your shitty words and affection, then running away the second things get serious because you’re a coward afraid of stability.”
He pretended your words didn’t cut as deep as they did, pretended your words didn’t take him back to his mother’s birthday all those months ago, sitting at that table and listening to her spew hot garbage in his face about his personality and issues that he refused to acknowledge.
“That wasn’t the case with you. I didn’t tell you to fall for me.”
“That wasn’t the case? So I’m somehow different? How so?”
“Because—” Even in his drunken mind, he knew telling you he loved you now would only pull you further away than you already were. He pressed his lips in a thin line, and looked away from your oppressive stare. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Because your reasoning doesn’t exist, Ran. Stop searching for nothing. You’re a shitty person and you need to acknowledge that.” You pulled your finger away from his chest and turned around, lowering your voice to almost a whisper. “Now just stay out of my life.” 
He didn’t say anything and only watched you approach Mikey again, the man not even bothering to look at Ran the entire time as he took you inside the room, closing it shut. Ran’s ears were burning and his chest clenched as he realised the gravity of what he’d just done. So much for making amends. 
You went home and instantly blocked his number and cried yourself to sleep that night, regretting even messing with him to begin with.
~*~
“Are you sure this is safe?” you asked, looking around the strange alleyway surrounding you. 
“Don’t be a fucking wuss! Besides, I can fight remember? Nobody’s touching me tonight.”
“Yeah but…underground clubs are scary.”
“I know but that’s what makes this so exciting! Come on, let’s go!” She held your hand firm and tightly in her hand, giving you a reassurance squeeze that did nothing to help calm your raging nerves. 
“Imagine your brother finds you here tonight,” you laughed.
“Oh fuck. Takeomi would probably lock me in a house with no contact to the outside world for years,” Senju responded, shivering at the thought. She led you down the stairs and opened the janky door, leading you inside the club.
The rest of the night proceeded as follows, Senju getting drunk out of her mind; she nearly passed out on the floor from dancing too much, and you guarded the drinks, making sure nobody gets roofied tonight. This club was known for being shady, with drug transactions being held in the bathrooms of this place, and not just regular drugs, hardcore drugs. You had to use the bathroom and decided holding your pee in was much better than relieving yourself in a bathroom that had a woman passed out on the floor after taking too much drugs.
It was scary, and you had your guard up every second, and only felt relieved when you were carrying Senju outside, back through the alleyway to call for a taxi home. “It was soooooo much fun today. I loved it,” she slurred as you picked her up, struggling to hold her upright. 
“Yeah yeah I know. You told me this fifty times already,” you laughed lightly. “Come on, help me a little bit. I can’t carry you all the way, you’re too heavy!”
“I can’t feel my legs~”
“Oh for fucks sake.” You set her agaisnt the wall and caught your breath. You pulled out your phone and decided you had no other choice. You were calling her brother. 
“Who are you calling?” she asked after hearing the phone ring.
“Your brother.”
All traces of alcohol left her body as she practically screamed, “YOU’RE CALLING MY BROTHER?!”
“Relax! It’s Sanzu, not Takeomi. I considered Sanzu would be more understanding about this. It’s not like he and Omi are on speaking terms anymore.”
“Yeah but…”
“It’ll be okay, I promise,” you reassured her, patting her head.
“Hullloooo?” Sanzu’s voice rang through the speakers and you instantly perked up. 
“Sanzu! Hey! We kinda need your help right now.”
“‘M sorta busy right now. Is it urgent?”
“Senju’s kind of passed out right now and I need help taking her home. I can’t do it myself.”
“Senju’s WHAT?!” Takeomi’s voice boomed through the phone; Senju shivered in fear. 
“Sanzu! Why’d you put me on speaker phone you idiot!”
“So I can hear you better! Nothing’s wrong with that!”
You groaned and slapped a hand over your face, whispering sorry to Senju who looked like she was already planning her funeral. 
“Where are you guys right now?” Takeomi asked, sounding positively furious.
You gulped, Senju rapidly shaking her head no no no no. “We’re at this club…” you admitted, giving him the address.
“Wait, that club?” Sanzu perked up. “That place is like known for hardcore ass shit bro. Don’t tell me Senju took anything from there?”
“...she did.”
“Ah shit. Yeah, okay. Coming. It’s really close from here Takeomi. Don’t worry, lets’ go.” He turned his attention back to his phone. “You two. Stay right there—”
“You girls look pretty lonely by yourself.” The three of you froze as a deep voice spoke from behind you. You felt time pass in slow motion as you turned around to look at a guy waiting by the club’s backdoor. 
“We’re not lonely,” you said slowly. “Thanks for your concern though.”
Senju stood up on shaky legs and clutched onto your arms when she felt his stare on her body. “Yeah, we’re fine.”
“Who is that?” Sanzu asked from the phone.
“I don’t know,” you whispered back, clutching the phone tightly.
“Seriously don’t move. We’re heading out right now. All of us, okay?”
“Okay okay.” You had no clue who “all of us” meant, but you didn’t care, not when the guy slowly stepped away from the wall and began walking towards you both. You missed Sanzu calling for Ran to come in the car with them, your attention solely focused on this strange man in front of you.
“How old are you girls?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the shameless way he was gazing you both up and down.
“It’s none of your business,” Senju spat, slowly stepping back when he began walking forward. 
“It’s rude to not answer a question.”
“It’s even ruder to ask personal questions to strangers!”
“Senju, stop. You’re provoking him.” You squeezed her arm roughly, digging your nails into her arm.
“I don’t care! I hate men like him that think they’re entitled to us!”
“Men like me, huh? Go on, babe. Enlighten me on men like me.” 
“Senju just ignore him,” you whispered, panic filling you when you looked down at  your phone to see Sanzu had already hung up. “Sorry but we really have to get going,” you said to the man, bowing slightly before grabbing Senju’s hand and beginning to walk away from him.
You could hear his footsteps behind you and began walking faster until the point where you were running away towards the end of the alley. The end of the alley seemed so far away with how small your vision was as you panicked hearing him begin to run after you. Senju was a faster runner than you and grabbed your hand tightly, leading the way as you both bolted as fast as you could. 
“Stop running girls! I just wanna touch you!” he screamed out, laughing obnoxiously. He was clearly high on something.
Senju bumped into the chest of Takeomi at the end of the alley, and the man came to stop upon seeing Sanzu exit the car, a manic smile on his face.
“You wanna touch my sister huh?” Takeomi gritted out.
“Wow, uh I didn’t mean for—I didn’t know she was—” 
Sanzu walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I think we should have a little chat, huh? Come with me.” He had this strangely friendly smile on his face that sent shivers down your spine. 
Your heart was beating out of your chest and you barely heard Takeomi telling you both to get in the car. He and Sanzu stayed behind and taught the man a lesson, and Senju slipped in the back, taking up all three seat as she laid down, exhausted.
You had no choice to sit in the front seat. The windows were tinted so you didn’t see Ran until you opened the door. You blinked uselessly at him, fingers tightening against the handle. “What are you doing here?”
“Saving your stupid ass, that’s what. Now get in.”
You swallowed whatever retort you had because he wasn’t lying, and as much as you shouldn’t a part of you felt relieved to see a familiar face after that incident. You slipped in the front seat and slammed the door behind you, putting your seatbelt on and looking straight ahead.
Ran got the order from Takeomi to take Senju home first and so he began driving towards the Akashi household. Senju was dead to the world in the backseat, drooling partially on the seat as the fatigue from running finally hit.The two of you sat in silence the entire ride, and Ran exited the car to put Senju inside once they arrived. He locked the door behind him and re-entered the car to see you facing the opposite way, staring out the window.
No other words were said as he dropped you back at your house, and you were surprised you both said nothing to each other the entire time. After sitting in silence outside your house for a while, Ran finally broke the silence.
“Are you fucking stupid?” Ran scolded. “What made you think coming to an underground club was a good fucking idea?”
“Oh sorry, I was just playing the role of the dumb desperate slut that can’t keep her legs closed. Sorry if I gave you a fright.”
“Listen to me,” he said sharply, making you snap your mouth shut. “You could’ve died tonight if we weren’t here tonight you know that? That place you went to, that’s not for girls like you. Not for girls like Senju either. I don’t know what fucking possessed you to be acting this fucking recklessly, but I just hope you know what you experienced tonight was a wake up call. You aren’t built for this goddamn lifestyle, so stop trying to act like you are.”
“...you’re right. I’m sorry, Ran.” You looked down at your lap when the tears started to drop from your eyes. “Tonight was so scary, I genuinely don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.”
Ran sighed and you kept sniffling as you heard his door open before slamming shut. You watched him round the car and open it on your end. “W-what are you—”
He carried you out of the car, your legs wrapping around his waist as he kicked the door closed behind him, walking up to your front door. He set you down on the ground and held his hand out. “Keys.”
You swallowed and reached inside your purse, pulling them out and into his hand. He unlocked your front door and once again carried you inside, locking the door behind you. He led you upstairs to your bedroom and set you down on your bed. 
You watched in confusion as he walked over to your chest of drawers and began searching for your pyjamas. Once in hand, he tossed them next to you on the bed, and then walked into your ensuite bathroom. You heard him turn the shower on.
“Get changed and come in here,” he said from the bathroom.
You stripped out from your dress and entered the bathroom, not even bothering to cover yourself in his presence, nothing he hasn’t seen before anyway. He was in the midst of taking his shirt off when you stepped into the shower, the warm water running down your body as you waited for him to join you.
You stared at your feet when he grabbed your soap, placing some on his hand before lavashing your body with soap, rubbing them along your arms and sides. 
“What are you doing Ran?” you finally asked as he bent down to wash your legs.
“What I should’ve done months ago.” His tone left no space for a remark from you, so you stayed silent and let him do what he had to you. Once you were washed clean, he turned the shower off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapped it around your body. “Go and get changed.”
“You need a towel too. I’ll go get one.” You quickly towelled yourself dry before stepping out, returning with an unused towel from your storage. “Here.”
“Thanks.”
You entered your bedroom and got changed into the clothes he picked out for you, then handed him some clothes of his you kept when he used to sleep over all those months ago. You sat on the bed and listened to him change. 
“Are you going to sleep over?” you asked, looking up at him.
“You want me to?”
You nodded slowly, getting into bed. He followed you, giving you some space as he laid down beside you. He had his back facing you, turned away from you and you frowned at the lack of attention.
“...Ran?” you tested, seeing if he was asleep or not.
“What?”
“Why don’t you want me?” you whispered, remembering the last time you were in your bed together. 
“Because I don’t deserve you,” he responded, voice flat and devoid of any emotion.
“Huh?” you asked, confused.
He turned around and looked at you, your eyes glossy with fresh tears. “I uh. I spoke to my mom a few months ago.” Your eyes widened, knowing the estranged relationship he has with her. Why didn’t he tell you this?
“I spoke to her and she uh, gave me a fucking reality check.”
“What did she say?” You shifted closer, close enough that you could see and finally notice the eyebags under his eyes, like he hasn’t had a good night sleep in time, which was strange for Ran as he savours sleep more than anything else in the world.
“A lot,” he sighed exhaustedly, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “Said I was a lot like my old man. That was I was emotionally stunted, sadistic, and a downright shitty person.” His chuckle was so emotionless, you almost reached out and hugged him, but stayed still as he wasn’t finished talking. “Worst thing was she’s right. I can’t savour relationships for my fucking life and when I actually felt something for the first damn time, I fucked things up and ruined it. Nobody else did that. I did. I’m responsible for that shit. I don’t wanna bring you down and you deserve better than me, whether you wanna admit that shit or not.”
He took a moment and you were unsure if you should respond or not. When you were about to, he continued. 
“She told me I’d ruin your life if I pursed you. Told me I was being fucking selfish. Can you believe that shit? And you know what, I fucking believed her. I thought I would do that, that’s why I pushed you away. I wanted you all to myself which is why I continued sleeping with you, which was wrong of me I know, but you seemed happy which is why I didn’t think much of it. Then you had to go fuck with my goddamn head and tell me you wanted me too.”
“...sorry,” you whispered, feeling the breath sweep out from your lungs.
“It’s not your fault, dummy. It’s mine. I—In that moment I should’ve been selfish. I know I should’ve, and every fucking day I regret not doing that shit. But as usual I fucked things up again, then you were gone. I thought we could still be friends so I could at least see you again, but nope. You distanced yourself from me.”
Another tear fell from your eyes, wetting your pillow the longer you heard him talk. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologising. You did the right thing. Keeping you as a friend would’ve been selfish of me. You clearly distanced yourself because you wanted to get over me, but I wanted you all for myself and wanted you in my life at all times, even if that wasn’t what you wanted. Once again, proving my ma right. I’m fucking selfish. Then that stupid party happened and just seeing you with Manjiro made me want to lose my shit. The fact that I wasn’t able to have you because as a guy living this type of lifestyle, it would be considered selfish. But yet Mikey was? How come he was allowed to be selfish and I wasn’t?”
“It’s not selfish Ran,” you finally got a word in. “I didn’t even like Mikey like that. We were just drunk and horny. I never dated him. In fact, I hadn’t dated anyone since I was with you. Nobody else made me feel the way you made me feel and it was selfish of me to want you when you didn’t want me back at that time. We’re allowed to be selfish Ran. Don’t let that stop you from getting what you want.”
Ran’s eyes were wide as he listened to you talk. When you finished, he shook his head. “My level of selfish and yours aren’t the same. In my world, if you’re vulnerable it can get you killed, or put in a bad situation where you have to take a live, or have yours taken. You don’t need to be involved in that. That’s why I can’t be selfish.”
“But—”
“No. Buts. Go find a nice accountant to date or whatever. You don’t need me tying your life down.”
You frowned. “I don’t want an accountant though.”
“Why not? You always said you wanted to marry rich.”
You shifted closer, flush against his. “I never said it had to be good money though.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek.
He looked down at you. “You’re fucking crazy,” he said with a light laugh, and you were happy you were able to break the ice.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer till your noses touched. “You love it though.” 
“Damn right I do.”
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moonhoures · 5 months
Text
That’s My Girl
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🕷️ kinktober — day 18: mommy kink 🕸️
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pairing: jihyo (twice) +reader (afab/fem.)
genre: non-idol!au, smut, fluff
warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, established relationship, wlw relationship, mommy kink, scissoring
word count: ~970
synopsis: your wife helps you relax after you had a bad day at work
posted: october 18, 2023
kinktober masterlist
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Shitty days at work were unfortunately common for you. The insurance company you worked for was understaffed, and the few staff members you had weren’t exactly the brightest. As the department head, you had a lot of decisions to make, lots of responsibility. You often went home with weighted shoulders and headaches that even the strongest dose of medicine couldn’t seem to get rid of. Sometimes you wouldn’t get home until it was dark out, pulling overtime.
It was a Thursday night, and you had (once again) come home hours late. Your wonderful wife had already ate the dinner she prepared and saved your share in the refrigerator after you had sent her a text saying you wouldn’t be home in time to enjoy it. You trudged through the house, feeling absolutely drained. Your bedroom door opened to reveal the soft, golden glow of your wife’s bedside lamp. She sat on her side of the bed, already bathed and dressed down in her pajamas. When she heard the door, her head tilted up and she greeted you with a smile that made the weight on your back feel a little lighter.
“Hi, love. How was work?” Jihyo asked you, sitting up straighter.
“Terrible as always, but I’m home now,” you shrugged with a smile, already peeling off your coat. You let it drop to the floor carelessly while your wife’s smile faltered. She turned the TV volume down, wanting to focus on her conversation with you. She listened to you go on and on about work and how annoying it was. How much stress you were under every day, and how you were tired of it all. Her eyes followed you as you went to the bathroom, and she watched you pull your hair down from the clip you held it in all day. You cleaned off your face and rubbed in your favorite moisturizer. You stripped down to your undergarments and walked around the room, still venting about work as you picked out what pajama set you would wear after your bath.
And as you paused to gather your thoughts, you stopped at the side of your bed to put your phone on its charger. Jihyo smiled gently at you, admiring how cute you looked when you were mad. The crease forming between your brows and the subtle pout to your lips was adorable.
“I’m sorry, honey. Remember, the holidays are coming up. And after you get your bonus, you can look for a new job!” Your wife was always one to see the positives in everything. The one to remind you that the grass is greener on the other side of any tough situation you faced. You were beyond grateful for her.
“I know, love. It’s just- I have to get through the now before the holidays,” you laughed softly, shaking your head as you sighed heavily. When you met your wife’s eyes again, there was a new expression in them.
“Maybe we can take your mind off of work for a little while?”
The question was innocent, but the events that took place after were not so innocent. Jihyo had mastered the art of being a wonderful wife, and one of the things she was best at was caring for you—in every sense of the word. She knew how to make you feel better in any way she could. And right now, she decided love making was the best way to clear your mind.
So she laid you down on the bed, parting your legs for herself to slot between them. And once her pelvis was seated over yours, she began rocking her hips. Your folds grew slick under her own, the skin rubbing against each other.
“How does that feel, baby? Is it just what you needed?” she asked you, using her free hand to push her hair out of her face as she looked down at you. Your eyes were shut so you could focus on the pleasurable high you were chasing, but you nodded.
“Uh huh,” you choked out, hands gripping desperately at her thigh. She smiled at your eagerness, hurrying her pace as she started to feel her own release building up. She loved scissoring with you, and she especially loved being on top. Though there were no specific roles in your relationship, she did secretly enjoy being the “leader”. She liked having someone to rely on her. She liked being the one to make decisions. She liked taking the weight off your shoulders and helping you whenever and however she could. It made her feel powerful and needed.
“Are you gonna let go and cum for mommy?” she asked you, grinding her weeping cunt against yours. She groaned as your clits touched over and over, sending electricity throughout your bodies.
“Yes. Yes. Yes, oh-,” your words were cut off as you were overwhelmed with pleasure. Jihyo’s pussy slid against yours, sending you reeling as she stared down at you with the most wicked glint in her eye. Like she knew she was doing everything right, and she loved watching you snap.
Your hands reached up, pawing at her voluptuous breasts until she mercifully leaned down to kiss your neck. This gave you easier access to knead and play with her boobs, your palms squishing her sensitive nipples. The little moans and whines she let out by your ear only made you wetter, and she could feel it. She was doing it on purpose.
“That’s my girl,” she cooed, kissing your jaw, “Cumming for mommy when you’re told. So proud of you.”
You smiled into the kiss she graced your lips with, melting underneath her. Every ounce of worry and any stressful thought in your mind was gone. She knew her job was done, and successfully so.
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— taglist #1
@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @odisdad @abby-grace @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @bekah931215 @heerinnie @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite @k-drizzle @iguanas-world
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753 notes · View notes
blessedbucky · 9 days
Text
based off my own thot because i saw a lack of tentacles in the satosugu/reader tag and took that personally! (i wanted this posted because the brainrot is real right now so apologies if there are any mistakes!)
pairing: satoru/suguru/reader
word count: 1.3k
warnings: TENTACLES BABY, so...shibari-ish by proxy?, vaginal, oral, anal, this throuple do be a little fucked up but that's just jjk territory, satoru and reader seeing orders to kill suguru on sight and straight up saying "that sign can't stop me because i can't read!", some jealousy, a mention of exhibition, suguru lowkey being a daddy, i think that's everything
my thanks to @firefly-graphics for the header! i'm tickled pink by it!
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I hate you!
There’s a hum, but you’re still not looked at. “Why, my dearest, are you looking at me like that? I don’t think it was me that put you in this situation.” Suguru flips to the next page in his book. His face hasn’t shifted once since this all started. He still wears that same blasé expression, as if he couldn’t be bothered with any of this. “If anything, I’m helping my sweet girl by teaching her a lesson.” Your adrenaline spikes when you watch him raise a hand. “You need to have a stronger backbone, dear…”
Just as you feared, Suguru flicks his fingers. The cursed spirit shifts as it’s commanded to, and the inky black tentacles move deeper. You didn’t even think that was possible! You breathe harshly through your nose as the heavy weight of the tentacle pushes further down your throat. You still gag. Tears blur your vision but it’s not enough for you not to see that Suguru is finally watching you.
Then, Suguru smirks. It’s that shitty, smug one. It’s bait, of course. It always is. That smirk is always followed by something said that’s so egregious that it makes you act up. And, sure enough, “You can’t keep letting our darling Satoru have his way.”
You’re letting him have his way right now, Suguru!
“Ooh, I know that look.” Suguru reaches out. You think that this is it! He’s finally going to touch you! Instead, he lovingly pets at his new favorite cursed spirit. “Let me guess—you think it’s only him that I’m indulging, is that it?” He chuckles at the widening of your eyes. “Aw, that’s cute. You really thought I wouldn’t find out about what you two little perverts are watching and getting off to together.”
Stalker, you think at him as if he can read your mind. Though, with how deep in your guts his curses are, you’d think that he’d be able to do that. Creep. Pervert. It’s not like these things bother you. You’re as half-mad as Satoru. Suguru makes you both so fucking stupid, so you two get home to your apartment, feeling Suguru’s residuals, and think it’s romantic. Right now, you’re just on the verge of breaking down because Suguru won’t touch you.
“I don’t like this attitude,” Suguru remarks. “Satoru is usually the bratty one. Look at how good he’s being right now.”
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! This is bullshit! The only reason he’s being so good right now is because you fucked him stupid, and you know it!
Satoru started this whole thing and he’s getting the praise now?!
In the middle of keeping your face pinned down against the mattress by the back of your neck and snapping his hips against your ass, that bastard had leaned over your back and started whispering in your ear. Let’s drop in on Suguru, hmm? It had been over three months since either of you had seen him. There was always this…unspoken rule that you and Satoru do not interfere in Suguru’s world. But then Satoru said, I hear he hired some bitch to be his assistant. We should totally fuck somewhere that she’ll find us. C’mon, baby, let’s make him pay attention to us.
Alright, yeah, maybe you do need to grow a backbone.
Though…it was really worth it to see that bitch’s face when she walked into Suguru’s office to find your head hanging over the edge of his desk while Satoru ruthlessly pounded into you. It was made all the better when Suguru slammed open the door about thirty minutes later and snapped at her to leave him alone. No matter how close his little cult followers or family get, he’ll only ever be fake smiles with them. And you’re as much a greedy little hedonist as Satoru is, so it’s nearly orgasmic to know that only you and Satoru can see every side of Geto Suguru.
You don’t quite remember what Satoru said when he mouthed off to Suguru. All you remember is that beatific smile of Suguru’s and his sugary sweet voice when he said, I see. I’ve been neglecting my darlings. Let’s go to my room, shall we? If you wanted to see me so badly, I’ll let you see me as much as you want.
Unlike Satoru, you had some sense left for you to nervously think, I’m in danger! Common sense flew out the window when Suguru slid one of those obscenely big hands of his under his yukata to tug it loose, though. You and Satoru followed after him like bitches in heat.
Let you two see him, Suguru definitely has done. You see each other, too. Satoru is the picture definition of lewd right now. You don’t want to imagine what shape you’re in yourself. You’re mirror images. On your knees, kept in the perfect pose by the one tentacle that’s wrapped around your ankles and wrists. It forces your backs to arch, putting your breasts on full display. A tentacle didn’t waste time before it was wrapping around your tits, too. Satoru got tentacles locking around his chest, squeezing so hard as to bring attention to Satoru’s pecs. Sensitive little Satoru started having the suckers of tentacles pluck at his nipples and the strongest sorcerer of the modern age turned into a whimpering mess.
The strongest sorceress of the modern age lost every thought in her head when all her holes got filled. A tentacle down your throat, one of the bigger ones thrusting inside your pussy, and another carefully pushing inside your ass. No prep. Even with the tentacles lubricated with something almost sweet, it burned. That just makes it better. Rough is the default setting when you three have sex. Gentleness only comes when you’ve all burned out that pent-up aggressive energy.
You and Satoru were okay with it, at first. That tentacle monster bursting onto the scene behind Suguru was like a wet dream come true. Hell, you didn’t even complain when Suguru propped himself up against the headboard with a book. None of you are a stranger to some edging.
Then, you and Satoru were two orgasms in, and the tentacles hadn’t budged. Suguru was making no move to do so, either. It’s become clear that Suguru’s affection is a double-edged sword. Suguru will spoil you and Satoru…and will turn right around and mercilessly abuse that gift to punish you both. Because Suguru knows how tactile you and Satoru are. You two crave touch, especially Suguru’s. To be denied it for so long…
Satoru’s lashes are clumped together from his tears. He’s overstimulated, exhausted, and silently begging Suguru with those shining blue eyes to end his suffering. You get pissy, though. The defiance and anger are meant to goad him because even a rough touch is still a touch.
“Ngh!”
Suguru isn’t falling for any of it. He snaps his fingers and the tentacles that he’d forced to stop moving about ten minutes ago start thrusting inside you. Satoru’s shout is muffled by the tentacle he’s been deepthroating. The tentacles go from zero to a hundred, pumping inside you at a pace that you both relish and aren’t ready for. Your eyes roll in the back of your head. Just before you come so hard that you’re convulsing and liquid gushes from your pussy, you feel the splatter of Satoru’s hot come across your thighs.
“Alright. No more playing.” Suguru gets on his knees, shuffling forward. He shoves his pants down in one fluid movement, his thick, massive cock slapping against his abdomen. He grips the base of it, holding it out in Satoru and your direct lines of sight. “Suck me off.” The tentacles in both your mouths slips away, leaving you and Satoru drooling and panting. “If you two can work together and make this real good for me, I’ll come in all your holes. How’s that sound, my loves?”
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sleepiexx · 10 months
Text
Can’t Lose You
Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!Reader
Note: way late to the party of writing for Ghost but y’know I had my fun
Summary: A mission goes slightly off plan, Simon doesn’t take it too well.
Warnings: he yells at u lmao, mention of injury, mention of blood, mention of stitches
Word count: 1190
Mere seconds after the rest of the team cleared out of the room to take off gear and rest for the night, leaving Ghost alone in a room with (Y/N), he snapped. The stress of the recent mission got in his head. It brewed nothing but trouble for him, anger festering until it boiled over. Namely the part where (Y/N) went into the enemy compound by herself— as she’d been ordered to do— when, unbeknownst to the team, her comms were cut leaving them with no way of telling whether she was alive or dead for a large chunk of their assignment.
It all worked out in the end but that did nothing to quell Ghost’s simmering rage.
“You’re a bloody fucking idiot.” He growled, “It’s like you don’t care about your own god damn well being. You’re completely fucking reckless, do you even realize how easily you could have been killed!”
(Y/N) was surprised at Ghost’s hostile behavior, normally they were on good terms. If he was mad at anyone, it was never her. Not to mention that the situation had in no way been her fault.
She scoffed, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and anger, “I was fine! Barely got hurt, I don’t know why you’re getting your panties in a twist over nothing.”
He knew he shouldn’t be this mad, the rational part of his brain could reason that it wasn’t even her fault. But he wasn’t thinking logically, he was thinking emotionally, and to him yelling seemed the only way to express big emotions, “It may not be this time, it may not be the next, but if you keep on like this, some day you are going to meet the consequences of your actions and it is not going to be pretty.”
By then, (Y/N) was pissed, “Jesus Christ, it’s not that serious, Ghost! This is my fucking job! I don’t see you getting onto anyone else like this. What, do you think I can’t handle myself because I’m a woman or some shit?”
“No it’s not that it’s-“ because I love you, “it’s-“
She was sick of the arguing and frankly could not stand the fact that he wouldn’t refute her claim of sexism. She never pegged him as the type, but sooner or later, most military guys showed their true colors.
“Yeah, while you try and think up some shitty excuse, I’m going to go get cleaned up.” She stood from her seat quickly, black dotted her vision.
Ghost watched from behind, confused as she stood there swaying for a moment. Quicker than he could catch her, she slammed to the ground.
He was filled with alarm as he yelled out to her, “(Y/N)!” He was at her side in a split second, turning her onto her back.
“Fuck.” He muttered. She was out cold.
Ghost didn’t even think, it was second nature to help her. He pulled her off the ground, one arm behind her back, one under her knees. With her in his arms, he sprinted to the infirmary.
“Medic! I need a medic!” He screamed as he neared the infirmary.
All heads turned towards Ghost holding (Y/N) in his arms. Any medic who wasn’t previously occupied with an injured soldier ran towards them.
“What happened?” One of them asked, putting on latex gloves.
Ghost was shaken to his very core, even stuttering out a simple response was hard. “She just- she just fell, I don’t know.”
(Y/N) was taken from his arms and moved to a cot where they removed all of her gear. Her green shirt was heavily stained with blood, just below where her bulletproof vest ended.
“Fucking hell.” Ghost whispered. His hands made their way to his head to rake through his hair but he was stopped by his mask. Instead, he ran his hands up and down his head.
He felt horrible. He spent this whole time yelling at her instead of checking if she was okay and she wasn’t. He shouldn’t have been yelling at her in the first place, he only now realized that. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t even disappointed, he was scared.
They lifted her shirt, revealing a huge gash that was overflowing with blood. The medic who was wearing gloves pressed gauze down harshly on the wound to stop the bleeding as another medic ran to get the suture kit.
14. She ended up getting 14 stitches in her abdomen. The wound narrowly missed her internal organs; had it been a hair's width closer, she’d be in a lot worse condition than she found herself in.
Ghost was mortified, she could have died. She could have died and the last conversation they would have had would have been him yelling at her for something he wasn’t even actually mad about.
He sat at her bedside, mask rested on the table beside him. He didn’t want the mask to be the first thing she saw when she woke up; he figured that it would scare her, and he’d antagonized her enough for one day.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. His thumb rubbed over the knuckles on her limp hand. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”
Simon tilted his head towards the ceiling, blinking away tears. “It’s just… I can’t lose you, (Y/N). I know- I know you are more capable than anyone else at your job. Hell, I’ve seen it, seen how good you are at what you do. But, (Y/N), I love you, and I dread the day that someone gets the upper hand on you and you get hurt and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”
He stopped his monologue the moment he felt her hand squeeze his back. His eyes shot down to see hers blinking up at him.
“Good thing that won’t happen,” she rasped. She parted her hand from his only so that she could reach for his face. “Where’d your other face go?”
“My other face?” He snorted, holding her hand to his cheek.
“Your skull.”
“Oh.” He said, glancing towards the mask on the table. “Didn’t want to frighten you.”
“It’s gonna take a lot more than that to scare me, Lieutenant.”
Simon shook his head, half disappointed that she hadn’t seemed to have heard his confession, half relieved.
“Oh and Lt.?”
He perked up to her calling him, “Yeah?”
She sat up ever so slightly before pulling him towards her in one swift movement, pressing their lips together. He was shocked by her actions but caught on quickly, kissing back with double the amount of passion she kissed him with. Her hands found themselves interlocked behind his neck while his came to clasp around her waist.
As they parted— hands still glued to the spots on either body that they held onto with a death grip— a spit trail kept them connected.
“Gross.” (Y/N) laughed, triggering Simon to laugh as well.
She stopped laughing to stare into his eyes, the ones that gleamed with love for her. “In case you couldn’t tell,” she started, “I love you too.”
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