Being back in the hometown this week is so far pretty nice. I didn’t realize just how much i missed this town. Sure. Sure. It’s been humid, hot and gross, but everything else makes it just that much better.

....I can feel the air dude. It’s wet.

Tomorrow my sister is finally graduating high school. She did great, even if she’s working today before it and most of the week so a lot of plans don’t even include her. We had dinner the other night and I got food poisoning from the same damn wing place i got food poisoning at when i was like 15. Nothing’s changed there. My partner ate my leftovers tho and I’m jealous of their damn iron stomach bc those wings were Good.

To be fair, most plans don’t even include me bc I’ve been staying with the partner of sorts and I have to say, i fucking love it here with them. Even if they’re going through a search for a new roommate and I’m a bit jealous it isn’t me, but it’s not like there isn’t space for me here if i come back to town. I’d likely go back to staying with my mom and spending like 90% of the nights here. Even if there’s 5 cats around now bc of said new roommate. We had to drive to the next town over last night to pick up her cats and some stuff bc her place got a week’s notice eviction and that turned into her moving in within the week as I’m here which is just a pain in the ass. Not to mention how we’re trying to accustom her cats to this house. There’s a very mean and hissy cat in the bathroom rn and it scares the shit out of me. There’s also a little black one who’s an absolute sweetheart. Either way. There’s two cats locked in the bathroom rn and I’m scared to shower bc the big guy hiding behind the door keeps growling and hissing at me lmao For valid reasons tho, the cat just got randomly uprooted by strangers but the little one is already being friendly. Idk. But allergies are quite something today. Why can’t more people have white cats or sphynxes? Black cats and fluffy grey ones are making my eyes itch. Such cuties tho And there’s a slightly awkward thing about the new roommate. She’s an ex-coworker of mine and I Hated Her. She was the one who would literally hit on any slightly attractive 20-something guy who came in leaving me to deal with serving in a lunch rush alone as she disappeared to hit on him. AND back then, when my partner was still very much not out yet, one of my friends caught them making out in the parking lot before work and that was the one time I’ve ever gotten mad about their other endeavors. Like yeah, they’re poly, that’s cool. I wouldn’t mind figuring out poly relationships, they seem neat and i might be into that. But HER. Luckily, it seems like that was just some casual thing and they’re nothing more than just friends now. (I Was told I’m the only one who didn’t break off after they came out.) Either way, Super Fuckin Awkward just being there to pick up her cats. We never really got along well and it was just weird. Apparently i wasn’t the only one who was awkward as all hell though, so they were there just randomly joking and flirting with me between each thing going on. Staying here while they’re at work and she might not be when she lives here later on might be awkward too tho.

Alright, might get a bit tmi now lol

And I have to say, just being with the partner of sorts for the first time without having to struggle with timing and alternative plans and the ex-roommate who wouldn’t let anyone even look at their apartment, it’s great. They’re stuck with me all week and we’re both loving it and already trying to make plans to do it again. It’s been my first time sleeping with them, actually having a bed to have sex instead of the back seat of the car during an adventure across town, and ugh, i love them. I ended up waking up at 3am during that whole food poisoning bout and even though they had work in the morning, they still got up and tried their best to help me out through that bc it was causing me such extreme back pain along with the nausea and i couldn’t do anything without crying in pain. Everything just felt better once i was finally able to not deal with that damn nausea and just cuddle up to them and sleep. They’re just so damn comforting. Bonus points on the recent top growth they’ve had from the past year of HRT. Let me tell you just how SOFT it is. Its a whole new level of comfort being buried into their chest. <3 Also gave them their first titty hickey and that was a whole event lmao

But now, with the addition of a new roommate who won’t be the excessively controlling one they had previously, there’s advantages of having somebody who can take care of the cats if they decide to come up north for the weekend to spend time with me and then take me back here with them for a week and do it all over again the next weekend to drop me off. I’m hoping I’m going to be able to see them more often than i have the past few years. Like, since i’ve been here i’ve already gotten to know so much more about them that I’m surprised i didn’t before. It feels so much more romantic than it ever has. Before it was more casual, this genuinely feels serious. There’s more affection here than there was with my ex and I’ve only been here since saturday night. Tbf, that night was almost nothing but passion bc we haven’t actually hooked up for like three years or so and now it doesn’t feel like a series of hook ups. It’s a strange feeling possibly having a potential real relationship with the person I’ve had a crush on for nearly five years now. It’s amazing, but very odd bc I’ve convinced myself multiple times that this would never happen and i should get over having a crush, but here i am, sitting on their couch in my underwear after having them come home for their lunch break with no time other than to bring me a matcha latte and a kiss before leaving.

Ugh. I can’t wait until tonight after my sister’s graduation and they’re off work and it’s just us here again. They’re so damn sweet, i already miss them.

And it turns out we have the same goals when it comes to gender. Just that ‘when you walk into a room, everybody questions their sexuality’ kinda vibes. And apparently i give them gender envy already bc of that. Then again, they’re leaning far more fem than i am. Apparently, i already have the chapstick lesbian look that their going for while I’m wanting to be more masculine later on. Either way, they’re still cute as shit right now. And after dinner with my family, my mom called me the next day and was like “Huh. So, are you with him again or is he finally gay? Because that was far more feminine than i remember.” and i just had to tell her that they’ve always been vaguely queer. Even before the beard got shaved off never to return. Tho, i will say it’s hilarious how my parents think this is a safe choice (like idk, i won’t be having sex or smth) bc all they see them as is a very fruity guy. When in reality I’m spending time with a they/them chapstick lesbian who very much has some strong chemistry with me. I also finally figured out the whole deal with the name I overheard somebody else calling them a few years back. Apparently, that coworker was just somebody they came out relatively early to and she immediately was like “OH SHIT I GOTTA CALL YOU SOMETHING” and started up with calling them Bree. Which was cute as shit, but not actually the chosen name which cleared up SO MUCH for me after reeling over that for so long. Literally, they’re not even changing their name. If anything, further on, they’re just dropping the first letter of their first name, so going with Ames instead. Also cute as shit btw. Or the same initials based nickname they’ve had for years already. Also, they’re calling me Taks and it’s so Nice. I’ve never had that before and it’s great. <3

Damn. Let it be tonight already.