I’ve been extremely busy with grad school recently and it is stressful. I’ve been taking Renaissance and Restoration Lit and it’s more than I bargained for. I have three weeks left and then I’ll have some freedom.
if the fates conspire
that only one of us may live,
then lover,
it must be you.
i will save you the grand speeches
about how you are good and deserving.
you are. you are. you are,
but in the end, that is not the reason why.
the world may call me brave
or strong
or selfless
but lover, you know the truth
don't you?
in the end, i am only more afraid
of facing a world without you
than i am of facing death
of facing anything.
in the end, i am only too weak
to be the one left behind
to pick up the pieces of a broken life
a broken promise
a broken heart
and keep on bleeding
when the blood in your heart
is already dry.
i'm sorry. i'm sorry.
but will you let me be selfish
one last time?
can i ask you to live
for me?
to face what i feared most
so that i might find peace
in my eternal sleep
with a smile upon my face?
if it is cruel of me to ask,
then i beg you to forgive me.
or curse my name
and hate me if you must,
only live.
only live, my lover
so that my life and my death
and all that came in between
may mean something.
may mean everything.
When many people don’t even bother to read you when they pick you up, but only wish to look at your pretty pictures, we value the ones who choose to read us from cover to cover, relishing each paragraph and page, folding the corners of their favourite pages of us, not wanting to put us down. I cherish the ones who chose me to be their favourite book.
An older spoken word I redid. Please click on image to hear me speak.