#splat.txt
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i have to show everyone my pearlina locker i spent way too much time on
to my credit that song was playing on loop in the bg the whole time so i think i was mind controlled
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Drives me fucking crazy that Will Wood says in everything but the word Narcissist itself (TECHNICALLY He actually DOES use the word in an interpretable context) - describes in multiple, detailed, completely direct ways - that he has NPD or another Cluster B personality disorder, in every way he can possibly fucking RHYME WITH, and ableists will still say “oh he’s making FUN of those ppl he agrees with me im so sure!!!!”
He sings about his potential and past toxicity; the fact that he “admits when he’s wrong, but only to be right;” says in multiple songs that he has “flaws [only found] in the DSMV,” that he “is the main character,” “that first person they talk about,” “that perspective you cannot doubt,” that he will “control the narrative,” that he has a “superego,” "knows that [he's] the hero," how "two wrongs [make the right]" and then compares himself to a war hero as if equals or perhaps better, claims to be on a high horse, says he can't "imagine being an average human being," how people "have to like [him];" the list goes on forever in JUST "The Main Character" and "...and if I did, you deserved it," (which, by the way is a reference to blame shifting/lack of accountability, which are fucking symptoms!) ALONE, NOT TO MENTION his songs "Laplace's Angel" and "I, Me, Myself." in both of which he talks about being above others/above morality and explains in his lyric breakdown that I/Me/Myself is about how he used to pretend to be trans because he thought it would make more people like him (paraphrasing)
Yet STILL TODAY, DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I see bullshit about him being a voice for empaths, and shit like that, and how he makes fun of these people who deserve it!! He says HIMSELF that his songs are self-deprecating depictions of his OWN behaviors!
Wake up america, ur soft owo trans person is actually a self proclaimed cisgender crossdresser who is not a fucking "empath" <3
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>> !~by the way jsyk girlies, i love attention and any hate fuels me further. i laugh at every death threat i receive because you cant hate me more than the people who made me this way did~! <<
#splat.txt#actually npd#will wood#actually aspd#actually mentally ill#actually narcissistic#actually antisocial#the main character will wood#hot take#unpopular opinion#will wood and the tapeworms
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i wanna play ranked later but since i hit s+0 in splat zones im scared
#.txt#IVE NEVER LOST MY RANK YET... my bar has shattered but ive always maintained my rank#but i hear s+ is when you start to go up and down a lot and thats scaryyyy#i gotta remember my splatoon rambling tag. Fuck#splat.txt
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so now since i shut up ab my squid kids for about a week will anyone talk to me about them
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1 MORE WEEK
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veteran splatoon 2 players: first time?
new splatoon players fighting for their fucking lives in salmon run: yea you????
veterans, targeting the flyfish, stingers and annoying boss salmonids first: nahhh , no not my first time
#u can really tell who jus got the game...lol#no shame to new players tho but yall will get it trust me !#splatoon 3#splat.txt
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as a palette cleanser for tonight, i offer the dashboard my all time favorite gif of agent 3
that is all
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the end of an era
#nintendo has blessed 8s ankles and freed them of heels#agent 8#side order#splatoon 3#splatoon side order#splat.txt
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i thought weve been through this as a fandom, but i saw a post of my dash recently saying that agent 3/captain 3 "canonically and exclusively uses they/them" and anything else is "misgendering" them so as a they/them nb myself i must remind yall ahem
1. nonbinary people can use they/he/she/whatever it does not have to be "exclusively" they/them if they so chose
2. agent 3 and every subsequent agent Is The Player. they are not their own character, there IS NO "CANON" lol atleast not in the way we view it normally in fandoms
the other characters in the lore are npcs, they have set genders and pronouns, and the game acknowledges that the player could be Anyone and uses they/them for Every agent. they/them is a gender neutral set of pronouns, meaning they can represent someone who uses she/her if the person speaking does not know that yet, out of politeness. not everyone who is referred to by they/them uses those pronouns, thats the point
splatoons fandom is very unique in that we make content for characters that are. honestly non existent? like theyre us...but they also exist in the lore..
but theyre US yk??
not everyone who plays splatoon uses they/them, and therefore there is no "canon" set of pronouns. its whatever u want, u cant "misgender" a conceptual character lol
personally i view agent 3/captain 3 as nonbinary and uses they/she/he, but my agent 4 uses she/her. i am allowed to do that bc yk what? i said so its my copy of the game lmfao
#captain 3#this is lh#i dont actually care...but i like. wish yall wouldnt do that thing#with nonbinary characters All The Time#where they have to live in this lil bubble of one set of pronouns#its annoying tbh#splatoon#splatoon 3#agent 3#splat.txt
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*AHEM *
when agent 3 blushes, she usually pulls the scarf of her hero uniform up to cover her face
when she blushes now as captain 3, she takes off her cap and uses it to hide her face
ok thats it :)
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updates on the splatoon mini locker 👀
im gonna print a mini picture of marina for the photo slot hehe
#i definitely want more lil figures and the mem cakes#but right now theyre just like WAY too expensive wherever i look man#splatoon#splatoon locker#splat.txt
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i think one of the coolest things the splatoon team did was make agent 3 so strong and elusive and cool in octo expansion
bc yes we as the fandom kno them as their own character with a personality we created and relationships and backstory and stuff
but really this was meant to be YOU from splatoon 1
you were the badass mysterious inkling 8 admires so much
u kicked ur own ass
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yes i kno i do a lot of agent 24 headcanons but what if. pearlina headcanons
(aka the other splatoon ship that makes up most of my brain's space)
so at this point i think we all pretty much get their lore - marina was an octoling solider that heard the inkantation at the end of splat1 and fled from underground, pearl was a richy rich inkling who wanted to start a band, they make out they get married they adopt agent 8 yk the Canon
marina's first impression of pearl was "wow this short inkling girl can scream"
pearl's first impression of marina was that she looked cool and would make her band stand out from the rest bc of her "weird" look (pearl canonically did not know marina was an octoling lol) it wasnt long until "cool" became "shes pretty cute actually" and then "wow shes beautiful" and it just went downhill from there
for pearl she definitely fell in love with marina's looks first,, shes not even gonna lie,, she can be a lil shallow lesbian smh
marina for. obvious reasons cant say she ever found inklings physically attractive, given the. yk. propaganda in the underground
so for her she really admired pearl's inner beauty first and most
i like to think marina was not on the ground *at all* when she was in the military. definitely the one controlling the tech from the sidelines so she never really had to hold a weapon
hence, marina cannot fight. she's too pretty & she will cry
okay well she did grow up underground so she can hold her own when she needs to but she gets frazzled easily and a little overwhelmed. definitely tries to talk or manipulate her way out of tough situations
pearl, surprisingly on the otherhand, can and will beat the shit out of a grown man
well she's scrappy so she'll bite them and claw at them and kick in their shins and they'll run away but not without literal chunks bitten out of them
anything for her queen ✨️🌸
when marina agreed to make a band with pearl, pearl was so excited she immediately suggested marina move into her home (her bodyguards were horrified)
marina,,, immediately politely declined and pearl helped her get an apartment instead
basically, despite appearances and titles, pearl is not the princess who needs protecting by marina , she thinks of it Very differently
pearl's love language is, obviously, words of affirmation and gift giving
her way of "courting" marina was buying her tons of stuff and offering to have people do everything for her so she doesnt have to lift a finger
it worked for all pearl's exs sooooo should work for this octo baddie right (she is not right)
marina's love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation...actually its mostly physical touch lol
yk marina hugging pearl so hard they fall on the ground at the end of octo expansion. and then she keeps Going
marina is "baby i want the most high tech weaponry on the black market" and pearl is definitely "my baby gets whatever she wants laws be damned"
growing up a only child in a family with a LOT of money means pearl definitely got the spoiling but. she never got the feeling of spoiling Someone Else and she prefers that waay more
marina does not have expensive tastes,,, but she doesnt mind being spoiled sometimes as a treat i meann it would be rude to decline n she was raised to be polite soooOO
if marina's friends from the octoling barracks saw the stuff pearl buys her now they would be in Shock
but dont forget,,, marina was team love so shes not overly impressed by *all* the gifts
of all the fancy music gear and clothes and things pearl has bought her marina's favorite gift has just been plain ole flowers
they dont grow underground obviously but theyve always captured marina, the smell the look the different varieties she loves them
when marina thinks of the beauty and joy of being above ground first she thinks of pearl, and then she thinks of flowers
pearl catches on that marina likes flowers and starts ordering her tons of bouquets and starts lining the hallways leading to her apartment with floral gifts and flowers in the shape of her head and all kinds of junk
marina accepted the gifts. politely ofc
but her fondest memory is of her and pearl doing a photoshoot for an album in a wildflower meadow. marina looked so beautiful and Pearl's crushing was driving her crazy so she gathered a bunch of random flowers in her fist and shoved them in marina's face because she had to give her Something or she was gonna loose it
marina felt so fond, she keeps the dry and crumpled flowers in a locket with her all the time
at some point pearl realized marina likes it better when She opens the door for her first instead of pearl's bodyguards so now pearl rushes to every door to open it for marina before anyone else can
*bodyguard opens car door for pearl on side* *pearl runs to the other side of the car to open the door for marina*
pearl snores and drools like a dad of 4 who works a blue collar job 5 days a week and luckily marina is a heavy sleeper.
marina is the small spoon exclusively,,, when they fall asleep. when they wake up pearl is wrapped in marinas arms AND tentacles and she can't Move
whenever they get into fights pearl Always is the one to apologize. not just because shes usually the one whose wrong but marina is scary good at being cold (surprisingly given how affectionate and sweet she is with pearl) and pearl absolutely Hates it, its like the world feels wrong
everyone notices because marina is usually all over her, so pearl gets pressured by her bodyguards to apologize too (they always know shes in the wrong)
marina makes it look easy,,, but shes usually moments away from apologizing herself bc she misses her pearl so much
pearl is one of those people who makes sounds and hand motions to express feelings and marina is usually the only one who understands
marina has literally made a powerpoint presentation on all the things she loves about pearl in great detail. and she will present it do not test her
she's perpetually in the "crushing phase" and gets so excited to spend time with her and pearls like "babe we've been married for 2 years i see u every night and day"
if i was allowed to keep going i would never stop-
#splatoon#splatoon 3#off the hook#splatoon off the hook#splatoon marina#splatoon pearl#pearlina#splatoon headcanon#splat.txt#oth
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next direct ,,,,,, we'll get em next time,,,,
#no im not delusional ok#nintendo#nintendo direct#nintendogs#nintendogs switch#nintendogs + cats#splat.txt
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capn cuttlefish would wear this
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