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l0v3tast3 · 11 months

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here to help — spike spiegel

spike can't help but say yes when you ask him to help you with something so nicely.

✎ tags: mdni!, smut, female reader, cat girl!reader, dub-con if you squint, smoking, spike's eye wasn't the only thing experimented on (wink), pet names, spike is kind of a perv but in a hot way, very brief mentions of blood, dacryphilia, bit of a size kink, he's nice in a mean way, unsafe sex, fluff at the end

✎ word count: 3.8k (proofread this time wowie!)

✎ author's note: i know i haven't posted anything in a month oops sorry ヾ(´ ▽ ` ) ... anyways i'm back and still working on call of duty stuff for those who follow me for that! but i'm also gonna start writing for jujutsu kaisen and cowboy bebop now yippee!

masterlist

spike really, really hated sharing a wall with you right now.

being the latest addition to the bebop, the room next to spike's had been the only empty one left, and you were just so sweet. he had just grumbled a "fine" and went on with his day, thinking that you were agreeable enough to live next to.

you were quiet, certainly more-so than faye; he had reasoned with himself that that was why he said yes. not that your pointed cat ears atop your head and fluffy tail that flicked side to side and curled when you were happy was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

you had sheepishly explained them when it was just you and him in the living room. he had asked what the deal was with "all that", and you had twiddled your thumbs in your lap and told him about the medical tests gone very wrong. he had started scolding faye and jet whenever they made jokes after that, and kept ed away from poking at you.

now, though, you were anything but quiet.

spike could hear every moan and gasped breath you uttered through the thin wall, his bed of course pressed up against it. he could hear the sounds of you desperately fingering yourself, wet noises between your voiced frustrations. you must have been soaked.

he wasn't stupid; he had figured it out pretty quick. after the first night, when faye had knocked on your door to drag you out and you said you were sick, he knew you were lying. after the second night he realized you were in heat.

this was now the third night in a row, and he was exhausted. it was hard to get any sleep with you practically crying out in his ear, making him painfully hard throughout the whole night. at least he knew now why you would disappear for a week every month you'd been here. this time, though, the bebop just had to be out of fuel, unable to get to the nearest planet with a hotel.

spike was fed up.

he was just going to go over to your door and tell you to be quiet. right? well, he didn't want to embarrass you. but you had to know he could hear you. you had to know he could hear everything, even the whines of his name that you were poorly attempting to keep quiet.

your door stood in front of him and spike was unsure of what to do, more than he had been in a long while. should he knock? just yell and hope you hear?

he was about to just turn away when the door slid open; he hadn't even realized you'd gone quiet. he just stared in shock, mouth hanging open as he processed the fact that the only thing you were wearing was one of his shirts.

"spike," you sighed, as if just seeing him gave you some kind of relief. your eyes were glazed and wet like you were on the verge of crying.

it took him several moments to recover. "you're... being loud," he finally managed to say.

"'m sorry," you muttered, looking down. "can't help it, it just hurts."

"you need some help?"

spike was just as surprised as you seemed to be by the words that had just come out, but your breathy voice, wet thighs, and having been already thinking about this for awhile won him over.

"are- are you serious?"

"wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it." he was walking forward into your doorframe, tall enough that he almost had to slouch. it made him very aware of just how small you were compared to him. "do you want my help?"

you nodded, backing up as he slid the door shut behind him and moved closer to you. when you were at the edge of your bed and couldn't back up anymore, he came close enough to cup your face with his hands and bend down until your lips were a hair's breadth apart.

"you gotta say it, sweetheart."

your hands were on his bare chest, nails almost digging in. "yes, please, need your help, spike-"

he pushed his lips into yours and you let out the sweetest moan he'd ever heard. his hands were running through your hair, down your back and to your waist and under your (his) shirt, swallowing your noises the entire time.

breaking your kiss to pull off your shirt, he marveled at the sight of you. he was laying you down on your bed and biting and licking down your body before he knew it, until he kneeled between your legs, pushing them up to get a better view.

your hands were already in his unruly hair to try and tug him to where you needed him to be, but he didn't budge. instead he brought his hand down from under your knee, each grazing touch closer to your core making you twitch.

"shit, you're so sensitive, baby," he muttered. his fingers had barely touched your clit and you were already crying out.

"please, spike, please just do something," you whimpered when his hand went back to your thigh.

"what do you want me to do, hm?"

"something, anything, please spike!" he almost felt bad when tears started welling up in your eyes again. almost.

"anything?" he echoed with a giddy smile.

he slid two fingers inside you easily. you were practically dripping wet, a damp spot already forming underneath you. he cursed again as he felt how tight you were, watching your back arch almost immediately.

"ha-a, ah! spike!"

your voice was music to his ears, a song he wanted to play on loop forever. he'd been imagining it, your whimpers and pleas, for months now. it was about time the universe paid him back.

it took less than a minute for you to cum, your body going stiff and your voice choking. spike almost came himself when he felt your pussy contracting around his fingers.

he gave you barely any time to recover before he was licking up your juices, sucking on your clit and pushing his tongue into you. you just about screamed, but you didn't push him away, only pulled him closer, one hand leaving his hair to claw at any skin you could reach.

you were already reduced to a babbling mess and he couldn't stop muttering about just how sweet and addicting you were.

"fuuuck, sweetheart," he dragged out, finally detaching himself from your clit after you'd came twice more. "can't get enough of you."

spike stood up and you whined, sitting up and trying to get his sweatpants off before he even had a chance to himself.

he choked out a moan when you started licking and sucking at his cock as soon as his pants were down, looking like you were entering the same trance he had just been in. it took every ounce of willpower he had to drag you off of him and lift you back onto the bed.

"you can do that later, angel. i'm here to help you, right?"

you seemed to forget about going down on him pretty quickly, opting instead for trying to drag the man closer as he crawled over you. he gave in to you rather easily, meeting his lips with yours again.

admittedly, he had been giving into you a lot lately. he would give you the last snack left and let you lean against him on the couch when you were tired. he would let you come with him when he split off from the group when you touched down in a new place.

and of course, everyone noticed. they saw how soft he was with you, how his stature relaxed and he slouched just a bit closer to your level when you walked into the room. and of course, they teased him relentlessly about it.

jet had even asked him once if spike thought you went into heats.

"well, she disappears for a week every month. what if that's when- ya know-"

"faye disappears all the time. so do i. besides, it's none of our business."

spike would never admit that he got off to the thought of it. and now, here he was, basically living his dreams. he couldn't wipe the grin off his face.

you whined when he started rubbing his dick over your pussy, his head bumping your clit with each grind. he found your attempts to line your hips up so he would finally fuck into you adorable; there wasn't much you could do though when he had his arms hooked under your knees and hands grabbing at your waist.

"aww, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he patronized, breaking away from kissing you. you were still grabbing at him wherever you could. "what is it? you want me to fuck you?"

"mhm, need you to, please spike- ah!"

he wasted no time pushing into you as soon as he heard your sweet voice, cursing as he slowly pressed in further and further, barely dragging his hips back before he would slide in more.

"oh, fuck, baby- so fuckin' tight, can barely fit my dick inside you- shit!"

you cried out when he finally bottomed out; it was like he was reshaping you to fit him inside. it had been so long since you had been with someone, since someone had helped you with your heat, but even then it had never felt as good as it did now.

he was about to ask if you were alright when you started begging him to move, to fuck you, to please help you. his final shred of resolve snapped before he grabbed one of your wrists as leverage to start hammering into you.

your back arched again and spike took that as an opportunity to lean down and suck on one of your nipples. he wasn't surprised when you came again already, your cunt tightening until he felt like he could barely move. your eyes rolled back and your nails dug as deep as they could into spike's back, probably drawing blood. he didn't care, though, because you looked so pretty cumming on his cock.

spike kept making you cum as much as he could until he couldn't fight off his own orgasm anymore (he was honestly impressed with himself that he'd managed to even last this long).

"where do you want me, baby? huh? where d'you want my cum?" he breathed, watching your body squirm and twitch from overstimulation.

you couldn't even answer him, feeling like he fucked your brain right out of your head. all you could think of was the pleasure overtaking your entire being, of wanting to stay like this for as long as possible.

when you didn't say anything, spike leaned down over you and left your leg on his shoulder to lightly grab your jaw.

"c'mon, angel, you gotta answer me," he panted. "you want me to cum inside you, right?"

that seemed to bring you out your haze a little bit and you nodded, ears teary and face painted a cute shade of pink. "mhm- ah- cum in- side, ah! please!" you managed.

he came with a harsh groan, bullying his dick as far into you as he could as he filled you up. you came with him one more time, your body clinging onto his, trying to keep him from pulling out.

you both stayed like that for some time, kissing slow and stealing the other's body heat. you whimpered when he pulled away and started to untangle your limbs from his, but he shushed you with another smile.

"don't worry, sweetheart. we're far from being done."

spike found out just how sensitive your extra appendages are pretty quickly, and he absolutely took advantage of it.

scratching and petting your soft ears made you melt against him, like putty in his hands. he found you're much more pliant when he does it, less whiny and more grateful.

of course, spike wasn't a complete dick, so he would take you into his room to feed both of his addictions at once. like when he was fucking you but stopped every time you were about to cum, torturing you just to see what you'd do. he had your hands tied to his headboard, keeping one hand on your stomach to pin you down and using the other to smoke a cigarette while he lazily fucked you.

"nngh, nonono- please! spike, you're bein' mean-"

he bends down over you to put out his cigarette on the bedside table, making him press deeper into you; you nearly came just from that, choking on your words.

"i'm being mean? sweetheart, i'm helping you." he cupped your face and debated internally for a second before he reached up to pet and rub your little cat ears soothingly.

your tensed limbs went slack, no longer tugging on your binds or trying to pull him closer with your legs. your wide eyes became lidded and you started nuzzling your head further into his hand.

"you asked for my help, remember? this is how i help you, baby," he cooed, and when you gave a little nod and a whimpered "mhm" he smiled. "you just gotta be a good girl and take it. can you do that?"

you nodded again. "mhm, i'll be good," you mumbled.

"good," spike said, reaching for another cigarette and leaning back up to light it. he put a hand back on your stomach and when he wasn't holding his cigarette he was petting your ears as he went back to slowly dragging his hips back and forth.

he also found out that tugging on your tail made you cum nearly instantly, and he used that until you were crying.

you were on your hands and knees on the floor with spike fucking you from behind, having to hold your hips to keep them up; he was holding your hair in a messy ponytail to make you watch it all in the floor-length mirror that was in front of you.

the curl of your tail against your back was just so cute, and having seen the effect of touching your ears, he had no hesitation in grabbing your tail lightly. your body shuddered and twitched and your back arched when you let out a loud whine.

"shit," he groaned through clenched teeth, feeling your pussy tightening around him. "you really like that, don't you angel?"

"fu-uck, mm-mm, i don'-"

he grabbed the base of your tail and tugged, and you were clawing at the blankets underneath you as you came.

"ha, why are you lying to me, baby?" spike breathed, tossing his head back as he fucked you through your orgasm. "thought you were finally being good."

he flipped you over with a pillow under your back and tried it again while he ate you out, and he was delighted to feel your cunt pulsing around his tongue. he tried it when he was just rubbing your clit, when he only had two fingers inside of you, when he was just sucking on your tits. you came every time, and each time made you try to claw your way away from him a little more. he never let you run; even if he did, he knew you would just come right back.

"one more time, baby, just one more for me," he kept saying, until you were reaching back to grab his wrist, his arm, his chest, anything to get him to let up.

"please, ple- ah, spike!" you hiccupped. which one of you was the one in heat again? "break, i need- nnh- need a break!"

he slowed down his thrusts and took his hand away from your tail, your sob turning into one of relief.

"alright, baby, we can take a break, you just gotta give me one more," he said, leaning down over you to kiss the back of your neck. you tried to shake your head, tried to say you couldn't give him anymore; it was then that you realized you definitely wouldn't be able to keep up with him if you continued this after your heat was over.

"i know you can, doin' so good for me," he just mumbled as he fucked you slower, until he finally let himself cum, of course making sure to give your tail one last squeeze. he couldn't help himself when it forced the cutest moans out of you.

he filled you with his cum over and over again, the both of you passing out for a couple of hours just to wake up and fuck all over again.

he would wake up to you sucking his dick, you would wake up to him spooning you and giving you hickies in the spaces between the ones he'd already left while he fingered you open again.

the only other time you stopped fucking is when he forced you to take a break and shower. you clung to him like a koala bear the entire way to the bathroom, fucked again in the shower, and clung to him all the way back.

during the duration of your heat, spike found himself being a lot more caring than he had been to someone in a very long time. he made sure you drank plenty of water, took you to the bathroom, made sure you ate still, dealt with your whining every second he wasn't physically touching you. in truth, he liked how much it made him feel needed.

he only ran into jet once while he quickly raided the fridge and filled up water bottles. jet came in just as he was hugging the supplies to his shirtless chest.

"spike! where the hell have you been?"

"uh... well, turns out she does go into heat," he said with a shrug and a slightly smug grin, walking past jet.

"oh, shit... wait, how do you know-" his jaw dropped when he saw spike's chest, back and arms, scratched to hell and marked with bites from your little fangs. he told faye, edward, and ein that you two were both very sick and needed to be "quarantined", counting himself lucky their bedrooms were all on the opposite side of the ship from yours.

you both stayed in your routine of fucking, sleeping, eating, and being forced to bathe for four days before your system starts calming down (spike had found himself considering the experiments done on himself more good than bad; he was so grateful he could keep up with you).

it's when you wake up with a pained groan as he's stretching out his overused muscles that he knows you're finally sobering up. as much as he loved the sex marathon, he was starting to get sore all over.

he plops back down next to you and you roll over to lay on top of him, but for the first time in days you don't start nipping at his chest and grinding against him. you just let out a little whine and go back to sleep. he can't help the little smile that spreads across his lips, and he reaches up to gently pet your ears and hair until he falls back asleep too.

you're shook awake a few hours later, blearily cracking open your eyes to see spike setting down a tray of "beef" and vegetables next to you on the bed. he gently moves your legs to sit beside you and eat his own.

"morning, sweetheart," he says when you raise your head and mumble something along the same lines back, slowly shifting onto your back and sitting up with another groan.

spike frowns a little in worry, wondering now if he had been too rough on you. it doesn't match up to your face of horror, though, when you look up and see his shirtless body.

"oh god, spike, 'm so sorry! you didn't have to- oh god," you ramble in panic, reaching out to him then retracting your hands and hiding your face in them, curling up into a ball.

spike laughs a little bit before he reaches over and gently takes your wrists in his hands to show your face to him again. "it's alright! hey, really, it's alright. i love the kind of woman who stakes her claim," he reassured with a cheesy smile.

your face goes red and you look down, embarrassed. "you didn't have to help me. i'm sorry- 'm sorry i made you do... all that."

"i seem to recall making you do a lot of things, too. very happily, too."

"well, yeah, but-"

"trust me, i enjoyed every minute of it, princess. well, except maybe having to force you into the shower. and having to spoon-feed you."

"you did not have to spoon-feed me!" you mutter indignantly, brows furrowing adorably and your tail flicking behind you.

"yes, i did," he sys, pointing his fork at you as he went back to his tray, "when you just needed to keep my dick inside you but didn't want to stop fucking yourself on it long enough to eat. had to hold you down." he acts like he's complaining, but he has a shit-eating grin on his face the entire time.

you choke on your own spit a little before huffing; before you can turn to your own food he adds on, "eat, don't make me force feed you again." you half-pout and half-glare at him, but you shovel the food into your mouth nonetheless.

once you're beyond full, you collapse back onto the bed, fully intending to go back to sleep and let your hormones rebalance on their own. you were always sore and exhausted for a day or two after your heat, but you usually slept through it anyways.

"hey." apparently, spike has other plans. "come on, we gotta take a bath." he's hauling you back into a sitting position and pulling his t-shirt over your head, which of course swallows you whole, despite all your whines and protests. "quit complaining, all you gotta do is sit in the water."

regardless of his front of acting like he was doing you a favor, he lets you cling to him again all the way to the bathroom. he washes your hair and cleans you off, makes sure the water isn't too hot for you. generally, you hate baths, but this seemed like something you could live with.

when he's toweled you dry and put you in one of his clean shirts, you sit on the counter while he finishes pulling up his sweats.

he picks you up again and as he starts walking you both back to your room, he asks, "so when did you take my shirt, anyway?"

spike feels you tense up and your cheeks get warm where they're pressed into the crook of his neck.

"i didn't take it," you squeak, "it got- it got mixed up in the laundry..."

"riiight. sure, sweetheart."

#cowboy bebop #spike spiegel #spike spiegel x reader #spike spiegel x female reader #spike spiegel x you #spike spiegel smut #cowboy bebop smut #— lilly writes! ♡

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lostbluejayart · 6 months

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[This piece is a mere abstract interpretation of a conversation between Spike and Niah while the ‘sun’ slowly sets on Mars, which is where the surrounding theme of twilight in their story takes place. Originally in my mind, I would have drawn Niah in a gown with a pink sheer kimono falling off her shoulders, but I decided to go with something casual such as high-waist pants, tank, and a button-down shirt for this variation. ]

It’s a languid, moony scene where Spike walks into her yard to find her lounging on a lawn chair, sipping on some red wine and enjoying the scenery of her garden. She doesn’t appear to realize his presence quite yet, as her mind was lost in the enchantment of a daydream for a while now, making her lose partial focus on reality. But for just a moment, Spike stands still to bask in the quiet scene, eyes half-lidded beneath the shadow of his curly fringes as he watches her swallowed up in touches of red and green, smoke from his cigarette swirling across his vision. Spike can only admire from afar. At a distance. With a heart that aches at the sight of her. A heart full of yearning, tastes bittersweet upon his tongue, like forbidden fruit he desires to take a bite out of for just a measly taste. A simple drop of sweet wine that taints her lips a blushing red.

#illustration #artists on tumblr #my art #cowboy bebop #spike spiegel #cowboy bebop oc #cb #digital art #bebop #spike spiegel x oc #oc x canon #black artist #spike spiegel x reader #cowboy bebop fanfiction #cowboy bebop fanfic #spike spiegel fanfic #oc: Niah Foxx

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lil-tokyo-42 · 7 months

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Y'all...Y'ALL-

Why is nobody talking abt this lanky ass man's LEGS????

He seems like the type to randomly bounce his thigh while you're sitting on his lap and then laugh like a maniac from your reaction 😭

Like y'all would be chilling in the Bebop while Edward and Ein go off and run somewhere as he sits on one of the yellow chairs and you come up and sit on his lap.

He takes this as his chance to tease you a bit and as you get comfortable, you look up at him as his big silly grin shows up on his face. '𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐, 𝑺𝒑𝒊𝒌𝒆?"

And before you can react, he bounces his leg suddenly and looks at your flustered and shocked face as you we're blushing furiously. "𝙇𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙮𝙖, 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙚~"

Now he's laughing hard as you hide your flushed face in his chest

LET'S BE HONEST WE'D ALL GET ON OUR KNEES FOR HIM-

#spike spiegel #spike spiegel x reader #spike spiegel headcanons #cowboy bebop #faye valentine #jet black #Edward lV #Win #beboptober 2023 cosmic rhythms #see you space cowboy #bebop #i can't get over him 😩#we love him tho #he's such a tease #im tired #pfft lol

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venushasvixens · 1 year

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Imagine FaceTiming on a mission, everything is going completely wrong, the bounty may be lost…

And you see this gorgeous face.

#fanfiction #cowboy bebop #faye valentine #90s anime #jet black #radio free mars #spike spiegel #see you space cowboy #spike spiegel x reader #spike spiegel headcanons #spike spiegel requests #radical ed #spike spiegel smut

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manias-wordcount · 7 months

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Tight Fit (Spike Spiegel)

Kinktober 2023 Day Nine: Riding

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

Spike usually doesn’t let anyone in the Swordfish II.

The cockpit isn’t very big. And flying this ship isn’t quite for amateurs since it’s a repurposed MONO racer. Not to mention, Spike doesn’t any just about anyone to mess with his stuff. Even when he’s there to watch over things with a keen eye.

But all you had to do was let him get you all wined and dined up one night on Ganymede. And then bat your pretty eyes at him a couple of times while letting that pout of yours settle on your lip. And suddenly, he’s pulling you into the Swordfish- still tucked away nice and safe on the Bebop- and reclining the seat as far back as he can while pulling you onto his lap.

“It’s a snug fit,” He murmurs at you. Eyes half-lidded and voice a little heavy as he peers up at you from the pilot’s chair that has him nearly lying down beneath you. You can smell his drink on him. Just a little bit. But he’s had one less glass than you and you’re walking and talking and feeling just fine. And you’d like to think that he’s feeling fine too. Given the fact that you’re feeling something hard and stiff and thick poking at your thigh while you’re straddling in “I might need to take these panties off of you. It could make things a little more comfortable, you know?

And you know for a fact that’s not his gun.

You do know that something as simple as taking off your panties would make you a lot more comfortable. A lot more happy. You do know, so you have no qualms with lifting and shifting your hips to let him slide the lacy pair of panties you chose for him tonight. And when they’re all the way down your thigh and starting to hang off of just one leg, he used one hand to reach down at his pants and another to cup the back of your head and push you into letting his lips touch yours. You don’t need any coaxing. Because you’re already running your fingers through his hair and gripping at his suit jacket, humming as he kisses you deeper and deeper and deeper.

It’s starting to get hot in the Swordfish. It’s starting to get hot in his arms. But when you stop running your hands through his hair to reach for the ends of your dress to tug it off you, he stops you. He breaks the kiss for a moment, and you’re already missing the feeling of making out with him a little too much to be embarrassed about it. But then his eyes trail downwards. Looking past your face, and traveling down your neck. Moving a little further to take in your chest and the swell of that pretty little dress you find yourself and how it sits upon your waist and your hips and your everything else- just hidden and out of his view.

And then he reaches down. Not for your dress, but to go underneath.

Your chest heaves. Up and down and up and down as your breathing grows more labored. More needy. But you don’t say anything- not even as he takes two of his fingers and swipes at the wet mess growing from your pussy. It makes a lewd sound. One that makes your cheeks warm and your gaze grow a little more bashful, despite the alcohol in your system. And that feeling only grows as his eyes trail upwards once more as he locks onto your gaze. Those same two fingers reach down, and stretch out wide to spread your lower lips for him. He doesn’t have to tell you what he needs. He doesn’t have to tell you what to do.

Because before he can even open his mouth, you’re already reaching out to help him. One hand grabbing at your backside, spreading your cheeks to help him. Another hand wrapping itself around his dick. Giving it a few strokes. Working it with a few pumps. Letting the pre-cum leak all over your hand. And lining it up to your soaking-wet slit.

Your knees ache in this position. This isn’t like fucking on the bed. Or fucking on the couch. Or even fucking on the ground. This is a space built for one. Trying to fit two. But you want it. You need it. So you let your thighs burn in favor of letting the bright red tip of his long, hard cock brush against your clit, sending little sparks of pleasure throughout your body. You let your gaze fall onto him- to the man you’re about to fuck- and you let out a little smile.

There’s a whole lot of foreplay the two of you missed. Most guys wouldn’t have been able to get you this worked up with a couple of minutes of making out and a couple of sensual touches over your clothes. Most guys would have to buy you a bigger meal or the whole entire bottle just for you to consider saying yes. But him? But Spike? He’s different. He got you so easy. He got you so good. He got you so wound up and rolled tight that somehow, someway…

…you’re able to sink his cock into your nice and warm insides like he was meant to be there all along.

And because you’re needy. And because you’re whiny. And because you want nothing more than for his breath to become your breath as you fog up the glass of the Swordfish, you’re instantly lifting up your hips and lowering yourself on his dick with a giddy sense of eagerness. He comes in easily. He slips out just as easily. Though there are a couple of feelings. A couple of feelings that have you gasping. A couple of feelings that have him groaning. The way you would tighten up around him. The way you feel him dragging himself against your inner walls. The way you would take so much of him only to pull all the way out and shove him inside you again. And the way that he managed to let his dick kiss that spot inside of you that has you stutter out a name. His name.

“Spike…” You say it so softly. You say it like a prayer. It gets lost in the sound of Swordfish creaking and groaning with all the movements. But somehow he can hear it. He can hear it so loud and so clear. Because he’s the one keeping you warm tonight. He’s the one who showed you a good time. He’s the one taking care of you. Showing you his beautiful ship. Filling you up with his long, hard dick. “...fuck…”

And so his hands come up and grab at your hips from beneath your dress. They hike up the fabric so he can see all of you as he stuffs you nice and full. And they guide your hips a little more to move in the way that he wants them to move. To let you grind against him. To let you roll against him. Or to keep you still as he pressed his feet flat against the nearest surface and bucks into you a man gone mad with lust. A man gone mad for you.

And you’ll spend the rest of tonight moaning. Propped up on your knees and leaning over his figure as you continue the same routine. Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down. Climbing and climbing and climbing your way to the top. Looking for the summit as your moans grow louder and your hands grip at his hair and his suit once more for a little more leverage. A little more of a chance of you reaching that peak faster. A little more of a chance of your moans getting louder. A little more of a chance of making this snug fit even more snug. Even more tight. Not that you’re complaining of course.

Because the glass is already getting a little harder to see through. And the air is now noticeably warmer than before. You’re having a blast like this. And he’s doing a good job taking care of you. Like he always had. Like you knew he would. After all, Spike doesn’t let anyone just anyone inside the Swordfish. It’s too important of a ship. He’s too grumpy of a person. And it’s too snug of a cockpit. But you’re lucky. You’re so, so, so lucky. Because you’re not just anyone to Spike. You’re someone special. Someone important.

Someone worth getting this close to.

#spike spiegel #spike spiegel x reader #cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop x reader #cowboy bebop fanfic #cowboy bebop fanfiction #x reader #xreader #fanfic #fanfiction

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kaidan-z · 3 months

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i wanna write a fanfic but

what the FUCK am i supposed to write for???

spiderverse is dead. nobody wants to read about a spidersona either

i’m not really in the loop of what everybody is drooling over rn

i love deadpool but that’s not gonna be a good idea to post cause it’s not gonna get any attention unless i post it after the new movie which comes out in forever

i got a lot of angst ideas for a million different characters but all the angst tags(that i follow) are DEAD

@dolligent @kyoscrayons @urmadiik @janaeby and any of my other moots or random people if y’all have any ideas please send them immediately 🙇🏽‍♀️🙏🏽 even if they’re of something i said would be boring/unpopular

(i suck ass at angst and writing hobie 😭💔 i’m gonna work on it i swear but not on this account)

#across the spiderverse #kaidan’s thoughts #atsv #hobie brown #fic ideas #deadpool #deadpool x reader #miles morales x reader #spike spiegel x reader #jefferson davis + reader platonic #spidersona

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keigologies · 8 months

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sick heart, sick body, s. spiegel

syn. you both got some healing to do.

gen. romance, sick fic.

warnings. canon typical spike banter.

word count. 2.1k.

note. this was posted on ao3 forever ago and i said it was cross-posted here, but i ... clearly never actually did that... until now... oops (?)

spike has known you for most of his bounty hunting career. you came on the team a year after he himself joined jet, proving yourself to be not some wayward hitchhiker they'd have to take care of on their own dime, but a genuine asset: budgeting skills like no other (which the bebop crew really needed help with, though they would object to if questioned), ways of drawing out bounty heads into false senses of security (without causing a fire fight, something spike could really learn from, according to jet), disciplined in all the ways that matter. you're a quick learner; given the time and patience, you'd been able to pick up on his fighting style and you'd learned enough about mechanical engineering to help him and jet in repairing things on the bebop and the other spaceships on board.

all that to say: you're strong and spike has never known you to be anything else. you're smart, quickwitted, a powerhouse bounty hunter with all the skills that matter. you may be a little quiet, a little meek at points, but you're strong, almost untouchable.

so it surprises him when you come down especially hard with a severe case of the flu. it sounds so... primitive, he thinks, just some stupid earth sickness that honestly can't compete with some of the (quite frankly) awesomely-titled sicknesses that have come to be since the colonization of other planets; really, he justifies to himself, venus sickness sucks, but it is a cool name.

he cringes when he hears you cough for what might seriously be the hundreth time tonight and then mentally punches himself for taking the piss out of what you're going through right now. jet had said you'd contracted it while you guys were hanging around in tijuana and spike had been off tracking bounties; it was just coughing and congestion at first, but apparently, it eventually morphed into something way more severe. you'd quarantined yourself immediately to keep them safe, which spike has respected since he got back earlier in the day, but he shares a bedroom wall with you and damn him if you think he's going to allow you to keep suffering like this without him interfering.

your next coughing fit sends him up and out of the comforting warmth of his bed. it's not like he's angry with you or anything - sure, the coughing is getting on his nerves, but he knows you can't help it and he's not that much of a heartless asshole to be mad at you for keeping him from sleeping specifically because you're ill. really, he finds himself wanting (needing, maybe) to check on you, to make sure you have everything you need so you can rest easy and recover faster.

he realized a long time ago that he'd become jaded about the world. with everything that happened in the before the bebop era, it was clear why he'd become so disillusioned and nonchalant about things. with his past, things just didn't matter as much; he still had life to live, but he'd decided to be a little more reckless about things. he didn't want to waste time worrying about things that didn't concern him, now or ever: whatever happens, happens.

your being sick isn't really any of his business because outside of him having to listen to you cough all night for as long as you're ill, it doesn't concern him in the slightest. he means, it shouldn't concern him because it really shouldn't, but there's a part of him that's... open to the idea of being concerned for you and your wellbeing, which is strange to him because he shut himself off from ideas like that decades ago, it seems like. it's not that he's incapable of it, of caring for another person, but rather that he feels it's more of a betrayal. he'd given his heart to another and he'd never truly gotten it back.

though, in the five long strides it takes him to cross from his door to your own, he thinks that maybe he had gotten it back, years ago even, and he was too afraid to admit it to himself. so many things he'd held himself back from for years, all in the name of a woman who had disappeared into the ether without so much as a trace. she was gone; dead or alive, julia was gone and she had been for a long time. it's been time for him to douse that torch for a while now.

and when he comes to this conclusion in those five strides, he thinks that you getting sick might be a blessing in disguise, at least for him, because he's realizing now that he's been taken with you for quite some time. he's not sure when it first started, this infatuation with you, but it certainly isn't recent. he supposes it doesn't matter, however, because he's realizing it now, on his way to rescue you from an earth virus that definitely had a way lamer name than other sicknesses, which is a comment he's sure you'll laugh at and agree with him about if he brings it up.

once he finally raps his knuckles on the sliding metal door leading to your bedroom, he hears the beginning syllable of "come" before it's interrupted by a ragged cough. your voice, rough and almost whispered, struggles to say "come in," but you finally manage it and he opens the door just enough to slide in, ducking under the door frame.

"you feeling alright?" he asks, closing the door behind him. "you've been hacking up a lung all night."

you do your best to laugh, but it's a sad attempt, barely there and hoarse. a piece of him wilts at the sound, sad to hear you in such a bad condition. "better than i was yesterday."

"sure doesn't sound like it," he answers, turning towards you. he withers a little more.

you look so small in your bed, under what he can only guess to be every single available blanket on the bebop. you have dark circles under your eyes, your cheeks sunken and your skin pallid in accordance. you look like you have one foot in the grave.

"jesus," spike says, crossing the small room to your bedside and sitting on the edge. "you look awful. have you been eating?"

somehow, he's able to recognize your shrug under fifteen different blankets. "we're almost out of food. didn't wanna bother jet about it or throw the budget out of sorts."

"are you being serious right now? fuck the budget. you have to eat when you're sick like this." he genuinely frowns and presses the back of his hand to your forehead and then cheeks. "and you're burning up. did you just decide to forgo medicine in the name of the budget too?"

you shrug again.

"you're the worst."

but you can tell he's joking because if he really thought that, he wouldn't be here at all. he stands and when he turns to look at you, you've got a questioning expression on your face.

"oh, don't look at me like that. i'm not just going to come in here, berate you for being stupid about being sick, and then leave. i'm going to go see if i can track down some medicine."

"it's not gonna be any of that weird shit you keep in the first aid kit, is it?" you ask, a grimace clear on your face.

"okay, first off, that weird shit is home remedies and they work just fine. second, no, i'm not stupid. that stuff isn't going to cure what you have, so don't worry your pretty little head, alright? the newt stays in the kit another day."

the last comment makes you laugh and this time, it's not as hoarse as it was a few minutes ago, which makes him smile to himself. with you being in the state you are, it's nice to hear a few seconds of your cool, clear laugh. something about it anchors him to this moment in time, reminds him that he's not as cold and as standoffish as he's always presented himself to be in this new life of his; no, he's capable of caring for people like this, of loving someone like this. he's got something good here with you and he's always had it, he's just never let himself think that it was his to actually indulge in.

"i'll see what i can find. in the meantime, start deconstructing that 'money is more important than my pressing health needs' mindset you apparently have going on, okay? i mean, really, you were worried about the budget? you know jet would agree with me here, as much as he complains about not having money. plus, shit that you can't account for happens."

"okay, okay, i get it." you accompany your words with an eye roll, but the smile is clear on your lips, which are cracked from dehydration. "can we save the lecture for when you get back? or just save it for jet altogether since i know you'll end up snitching to him about this eventually anyway?"

spike scowls, but it's obviously playful. "don't go catching an attitude with me. i'm generously playing nurse for you right now when i could very well just let you suffer here alone."

"oh, this is you playing nurse? then you really oughta work on your bedside manner, spiegel. it's atrocious."

he shakes his head and begins backing away from you, arms crossed over his chest. "keep acting like that and maybe i'll feed you that newt after all."

"yeah, yeah, yeah. i think jet's been hiding chamomile tea somewhere in the living room. make some for me, please?"

"you're real lucky i'm in the mood to be compassionate," he jokes, finally turning to open the door. "you want honey with it?"

"if we have any."

"you got it. don't fall asleep before i get back or i'm ratting you out to jet about this tea too."

he hears your hum of affirmation as he steps into the hallway and when he closes the door behind him, he allows himself to assess the whole interaction. if this had occurred at any point before now, he would have felt entirely disgusted with himself, but at present, he realizes he doesn't really mind. you've taken care of him an innumerable amount of times since joining him and jet, serving as the defacto nurse on the bebop, and this could easily be just him returning the favor, but it feels like so much more than that.

because it is. if it was anyone else, if was any other time, he wouldn't be feeling this way: soft and warm on the inside like heat without his trusty cigarette. when he'd left the syndicate and faked his death, he'd sworn off love and adoration and affection. they had been his downfall once, they would not ruin him a second time. sure, he'd come to trust jet more than he'd trusted anyone before, but he kept even him at arm's length, afraid of what might happen if he let him come too close to orbit.

and while it worked for the most part, spike has been learning (for what he assumes is quite a long time) that cutting those kinds of human connections of out of one's life isn't the way to go about healing, especially when the person one wants to love has proven time and time again that they're worthy of being trusted. there is no life without love because life without love and companionship is a sickness of the heart and he's let it fester for far too long.

so when he comes back to your room with a hot mug of chamomile tea with honey, a few pieces of hard tack he scrounged up, and some generic medicine, and he finds you asleep? he doesn't find himself all too annoyed with you like he threatened he'd be. no, instead, he feels a little bad when he has to wake you up to drink and eat and take the medicine he had to go digging through too many drawers for. and when you apologize for keeping him up with your coughing, he tells you you're the worst next door neighbor for it (a joke), but he's glad he can help you (not a joke).

and when you ask him if he'll stay for a while (just to make sure i'm not going to die in my sleep, you reason), he agrees and lays under your fifteen blankets with you until your breathing evens out and you're fast asleep, and even then, he stays just a little bit longer than he needs to, relishing in the feeling of sharing a bed with another person again.

he figures you've both got some healing to do, so you won't mind if he falls asleep with you.

#spike spiegel x reader #spike x reader #cowboy bebop x reader #.fic #.fluff #.spike

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demigoddessqueens · 3 months

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whatever happens, happens Valentine 💌 💘

HERE ON MASTERLIST 9

Valentine's Headcanons include…

Spike is not the kind to really indulge in something like Valentine's Day, not really into the whole "lovey dovey" scene. Comes with his past and all.

May or may not tease you about Valentine's, especially if you really enjoy the holiday or what comes along with it.

But he is observant, and he'll put something together for you once he gets a glimpse of what you like.

Cue a surprise you find in your room of small gifts, trinkets that he put together for you. Along with a crudely written note:

"Whatever happens, happens Valentine. I'm in the living room, if you ever want to talk."

Who says he doesn't have a heart?

#my writing #spike spiegel #spike spiegel x reader #cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop spike #valentine's headcanon #headcanons #cowboy bebop x reader #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #cowboy bebop headcanons

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elysianavenue · 9 months

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Not Alone

Spike Spiegel x Reader (no pronouns)

Warnings: injury, lots of mentions of blood, reader has trouble asking for help.

Summary: Before you met Spike, you had gotten used to dealing with things on your own. When you get hurt, Spike tries to get you to realize that you're not alone anymore.

Word Count: 1008

Maybe he just didn't know you as well as he thought he did. It was funny, almost. After 3 whole years of being with you, he still couldn't tell when you were hurt. Maybe it wasn't him. Maybe you were just too damn good at hiding it, after years and years of being alone.

To you, it had just become a habit. To deal with injuries on your own, constantly feeling as if you'd be a burden to anyone who'd be so kind as to offer the tiniest amount of help. That just wasn't you. You couldn't do that to people when you were fully capable of patching yourself up.

So when a target worth quite the amount of woolongs manages to get the better of you, you didn't give the burning pain on the left side of your waist a second thought. There were more important things going on, after all.

Luckily, you had your partner in crime with you. Spike had taken down the guy, and the two of you were very eager to retrieve your reward, the injury on your side already being forgotten. That is until you and Spike made it back to the Bebop.

The pain, which started off as a burning pain, then a throbbing pain, was now both of those and before you knew it, you were limping from the pain.

The thought of burdening Spike made you uneasy, so as best you could, you pushed through the pain and walked towards your room, ignoring the comments from Spike and Jet, both of which were asking where you were going.

"I'm tired, I'm going to lie down for a bit." Was all you said before disappearing.

Spike lied back on his yellow couch, arms resting under his head as he tried to push back the nagging thoughts that were telling him something was wrong with you. You'd tell him if something was wrong...Wouldn't you?

"Something happen?" Jet asked, his attention back to the tall man on the couch.

"We had a little bit of trouble with the guy, but I don't think anything more than that happened," Spike shrugged, lighting the cigarette he put between his teeth.

"You don't think?" Jet deadpanned.

Spike sighed and sat up, now wondering if maybe something more had happened. The guy was holding a knife...No, you would've said something. Or would you?

Deciding enough was enough, Spike stood up, dropping his cigarette and ignoring Jet's remarks that the ship wasn't his personal ash tray. He didn't care. He had to make sure you were okay.

Meanwhile, you stood in front of your mirror with your shirt off, blinking back the tears from the pain. It was a nasty wound. It was a deep cut and the amount of blood made you sick to your stomach.

Your shaky hands were busy cleaning the cut while your teeth were sunk into your bottom lip, trying to hold back the cries that so desperately wanted to escape.

A knock on your door made you yelp and before you could get a single word out, none other than Spike Spiegel let himself in.

"I just wanted to know if you were...," He trailed off, his eyes widening at your current state. Not to mention, the amount of blood.

"Shit, Y/n." He ran over to you. You turned away from him, almost as if that could stop him. You didn't want him to see you like this.

"I'm fine, Spike. It's just a scratch," You said frantically. Definitely not fine, and most definitely not just a scratch.

"A scratch? Are we looking at the same thing?" He replied, possibly just as frantic. It was odd to see him react in such a way. Normally Spike didn't lose his cool over situations like this.

"Okay, yeah, it's bad. But I can handle it, trust me, I've dealt with worse," You kept trying to push him away.

At those words, I've dealt with worse, Spike realized he didn't know you as well as he thought. What could you have possibly gone through alone?

"I have no doubt you can handle this, but you're not alone, so please let me help you with this," He held onto your shoulders while he crouched down to your height so he could look in your eyes.

You were at a loss for words as he spoke. You're not alone. It's true, you weren't alone, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you were burdening him.

"I don't want you to go out of your way for something like this," You gave one last futile attempt to deal with it alone.

He gave you a look. One that said "are you kidding me?" It made you want to hide in the corner like a little kid.

"Let me tell you something, Y/n. I'd go out of my way to help you with a goddamn paper cut, cause guess what, sweetheart? I kinda love you or something, all right? The last thing I want is for you to feel like you have to hide things like this from me because you're worried I'm going out of my way," He didn't look away from your eyes the entire time.

He loves you. You couldn't help the blush that appeared on your cheeks as you repeated his words in your head.

"So how 'bout it? Will you let me take care of you?" He asked, flashing you a comforting smirk. You sighed, unable to turn him down, even showing a small smile. "I suppose."

So he took care of your wound, apologizing every time you winced in pain, cleaned up the blood, and handed you a clean shirt to change into. Once you were fixed up, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and ushered you to the bed.

It was foreign to you, being taken care of like this. But you told yourself that if you were able to get used to dealing with things alone, then you could manage to get used to Spike helping you out once in a while.

A/n: just a lil something i thought was cute since ive been multitasking with anime and rewatching cowboy bebop at the same time im watching one piece and black clover teehee. very overstimulated. anywaysssss.

#cowboy bebop #spike spiegel #spike spiegel x you #spike spiegel x reader #cowboy bebop x reader

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whitneysgang2019 · 11 months

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You Remind Me of Her

Spike Spiegel x Fem Reader SMUT

Watched and finished Cowboy BeBop and thought it was pretty good. Which means it's time to write an angsty, smutty one shot. It's a really, REALLY long one so settle in. Things get a lil spicy in more ways than one but it's all good. Spike is a sweet, broken baby and he deserves all the love. Minor's this is NOT for you, please walk away. Enjoy my dears.

WARNING: 18+, Minors DNI, SPOILERS, TRIGGER WARNINGS: angst, heated conversations/arguments, smoking, talk of past traumas, slight gaslighting, STRONG mentions of past abuse, breakdown, angst to fluff, reconciliation, reassurance, soft foreplay, fingering, oral (m receiving), comfort sex (p in v), praise kink if you squint, all the lovey-dovey stuff, cum on body, cuddles.

It was supposed to be a quiet night, with Jet out looking for info on a bounty, Faye blowing all her money at the casino, and Ed and Ein on some wacky adventure of their own. You figured you'd have the Bebop to yourself and that Spike would tag along with another one of your comrades. But being the stubborn man he is, he stayed back, wanting some time to himself as well. For a good bit of the night, you both kept to yourselves, he took a cat nap, and you cleaned up the Bebop.

While you were cleaning the kitchen you thought you might try and spend some time with Spike rather than avoid him, seeing as it might come off as rude if you ignored him. After you finished cleaning you put on some comfy clothes in place of your work ones and made your way to the living space. You saw Spike was still lightly sleeping on the couch. You gently bumped his leg, jolting him awake from his dream. He furrowed his brows as he looked over to you.

"Was that really necessary?" he grumbled, annoyed that you woke him. You chuckled to yourself as you sat on the floor next to him, now being at eye level with him. Telling him he shouldn't sleep the entire day away in hopes to lighten his mood. That only seemed to make things worse though. He gave an exasperated sigh as he sat up and pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket. He blatantly stated that he didn't want to be woken up and that he would've preferred to keep sleeping. You furrowed your brows,

"Well there's no need to be a jerk about it," you pulled yourself up from the floor. You looked at him and crossed your arms, wanting him to talk about what was bugging him, even though you never outright said it. He looked at you with bitter-cold eyes,

"Well maybe if you left me alone there wouldn't be an issue," he spat as he flicked his lighter and took a few puffs until the end burned a bright orange. You sighed heavily, your fingers gripped the sleeve of your shirt to keep yourself calm and collected,

"Im sorry if I bothered you, I just wanted to spend some time with you. Feels like its been a long time since the two of us spent any time together and just hung out you know ."

You two weren't super close, but close enough to where you'd hang out, talk, and occasionally hook up to pass the time. You both knew it would never lead to anything, but you stupidly developed feelings for the floofy-haired man anyways. You wanted to be the one to support him. But he never really showed interest in having a relationship with you, or anyone for that matter. The only time he showed any interest in anything was when his past was brought up, and especially when a certain someone was mentioned. It was those moments where he would either would open up or close off completely. And at that moment you could tell he was thinking about her and his past as he exhaled a cloud of smoke, clearly irritated with you.

"Yeah, and?" He didn't look at you when he asked. You felt the heat of anger and resentment rise in your cheeks, finding it hard to keep your composure.

"And I thought we could spend a little bit of time together, is that such a heinous request," you spat back at him.

"Whenever you want to 'spend time together' it usually means you wanna sleep with me, and im gonna pass on that." Your arms fell to your sides and clenched into fists. You took an audibly deep sigh,

"Believe it or not I don't always wanna sleep with you, sometimes I do just want to talk," you rebutted. He took another puff, and exhaled heavily, still not making eye contact with you,

"Heh, could've fooled me," he mumbled, the cigarette never leaving his lips as he spoke. You scoffed in disbelief and crossed your arms over your chest once again, scowling at him. Spike had always been a bit snarky, it seemed it was just in his nature, but the comment he made was pure spite.

"For the love of Christ what the hell is your problem?"

He adjusted to a position where he was slouching and one arm rested crossed on his thigh, while the other reached for his half-smoked cigarette,

"I already told you," he said before taking in another long, exasperated drag. You rolled your eyes at his dramatics,

"Don't give me that bullshit Spike, we both know that's not true," you bitterly spat.

You both were getting visibly frustrated at that point. Spike's leg began to lightly bounce up and down and your fingers tapped against your arms.

"Even if something was bothering me it's none of your goddamn business," he said finishing his cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray beside him.

"Spike, please, I just wanna-" you were cut off by Spike standing up abruptly, now fuming with anger in his eyes,

"Fine, since you wanna know so fuckin' badly I'll tell you! When I sleep, I'm never at peace with myself, if it's not one thing from my past it's another. Not that you would understand." He said sitting back down, defeated and frustrated. You sat next to him, hoping he would allow you to comfort him,

"I might understand it more than you think," you said as you reached for his hand, only for him to pull away.

"No, you don't understand. You don't understand what it's like to lose the one person who loved you for what you were, even though they knew you were inherently bad. You'll never know what it's like to have to just walk away from the life you knew and the people you loved and cared about. You'll never know what that's like, ever." Angered by his remark you rebutted,

"You have no right to say that whatsoever when you know very little of what my past was like. Not once have ever implied that kind of attitude towards your past and what you experienced. Do not say I don't understand, because, believe it or not I do know what it's like " you said getting up and preparing to leave the room.

"You're the one who just had to push. This is what you wanted to know, and you got what you asked for," he snapped as stepped in front of you, blocking your way to the exit.

"At least I'm not a hypocrite. How you always say that we should let our pasts stay in the past. But as soon as she's brought up that philosophy is out the window and is suddenly the only thing that fucking matters. But when it's one of us it shouldn't be bothered with and we should leave it alone and move on. Just because she keeps popping up in your dreams doesn't mean we get to put everything on hold to chase after you chasing after her," you said as you struggled to push him aside to make your way to the bathroom, but he remained still.

"At least I still care about the people in my past. I didn't just up and leave and abandon the people I loved because I wanted to. That's the difference between you and me, I was loyal to the ones I loved-" Before he could get another word in you slapped him, hard. Tears began to swell and threatened to fall from your eyes as he brought his hand to his face and attempted to rub the sting out of his cheek. But you would never let him see them, not like this.

"How dare you? You have no right to bring that up. Because you don't know the whole story of what happened. And I didn't abandon them, if we're going to bring up abandonment, Julia is a perfect example. She abandoned you, Spike, and if she really gave a damn about you she would've showed up that day and ran away with you. But she didn't. So, as you always say, let it go and move on," you said, pushing him as hard as you could, finally getting him to move aside. He stared at you in awe as you made your way to the door,

"She would've never abandoned me," he stated lightly as he reached for another cigarette.

"Could've fooled me," you replied harshly as you exited the room and made your way down the hall to the bathroom.

You slammed the door and locked it behind you, you took a deep breath as you made your way to the tub. You turned the knobs and let the water fill the porcelain vessel. Tears began to fall as the water ran, drowning out the sounds of your stifled cries. The feeling of guilt set in the pit of your stomach as memories began to flood your mind. Particularly the ones that were brought up in the argument.

You sank down in the steaming water, shuddering at the warmth that rushed through your body while pondering on the past. Tears continuing to stain your face as you wondered deeper into your thoughts.

You were part of a family at one point in time, to a home where a couple took in lost, orphaned, or abandoned children. During the early years of being there you never felt the need to run away on or be your own, you always felt incredibly safe and secure. You helped out around the house, did your chores, and got along well enough with your housemates. Until you got a little older, and then things began to change. Your father began acting differently toward you, more aggressive and irritable. And it only got worse after his wife passed away unexpectedly. He would start taking his aggression out on you and some of the of the other girls living in the home. It started off small, whether it was pushing you aside harshly or random flicks on the head to keep you in line. Then it progressed in to hitting, manhandling, and kicking while you were doing chores or playing with the other kids. It was to the point where it was everyday that the abuse took place. You and a few of your housemates were bruised, bloodied and beaten to the point of unconsciousness, while other housemates were used for more sinister acts. Anyone who fought back was either beaten senseless and kicked out, or never seen again. No matter what it was something would set him off and he would go into uncontrollable rages, and you had no choice but to take the beatings. You were young, defenseless, and had nowhere else to go, therefore you had no choice but to endure the constant abuse.

Until one day you found your out.

You were able to save back enough woolongs from odd jobs to get a one way trip off world, but you alone. Woolongs were hard to come by in the household and being able to build up what you had seemed like a miracle in itself. You planned to make your escape late into the night, after everyone was asleep, and taking only what you needed to survive.

When the time came you were quick and quiet about it. Woolongs and suitcase in hand, you quietly walked down the stairs and out the front door. You looked behind you saddened and guilt coursing through your entire bod. You wanted to bring them all with you and give them a better life. but unfortunately it just wasn't possible. Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to go forward. But you found the strength deep within you and walked away, never looking back after. The memories of your housemates flooded your mind as you made your way on the ship alone, blocking out all the sounds of the station. You found yourself a seat and watched as the ship began to take off, and you looked down on that planet for the last time.

You submerged yourself under the water, hoping it would help shake off the memories of that dreadful place. As much as you hated to admit it, you and Spike were similar when it came to your pasts, but you both reacted much differently from one another. You would find yourself entranced in fear and guilt, afraid that you made the wrong decision or that you didn't try hard enough to help yourself and those who you left behind. Remembering the abuse you endured, as well as being reminded of emotional and mental scars that were left for you to carry.

Reemerging from the lukewarm water for air, you couldn't handle the thoughts that were running rampant in your head. The quiet tears that had been falling now turned to violent sobs of anguish. You couldn't hold it in, after all the time that had passed, you couldn't find the strength hold it back anymore. It hurt to think about it, to think that you turned your back on them, even though you didn't have any other choice.

After you rode out your breakdown you finished your bath and pulled yourself up and out of the tub. Grabbing a towel you wrapped your body up and went to the sink to wash your face. Looking in the a mirror, a red, swollen, puffy eyed face looked back at you. Sighing heavily you splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would help with the redness and swelling.

After drying off and putting your clothes back on you looked at yourself again, still puffy and red. It seemed it was going to be a bit before it went back to normal.

Slipping quietly out of the bathroom you made your way across the ship to your room. You let yourself fall back onto the bed, hoping you'd just crash, and you that's exactly what you did.

...

Weeks passed since the argument between the two of you. Neither one saying much to the other during that time. You both tried your best to not think about what happened, ignoring the nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. You were courteous when you interacted with him, which hadn't been often. Whether it was during missions or at meal time. You could tell it was bothering him though, he wanted you to say something, anything, to be angry and upset with the way he spoke to you that night. But you felt it was best to move on from it rather than bringing it back up and continue a senseless conversation.

It had been a hard day for you, you lost a bounty and Jet had been harping on you to keep up with the rest of the gang, seeing as you'd been slipping behind lately. During those weeks you spent most of your time in your room laying in bed crying, overthinking, and sleeping, so you didn't get as much training in as you should. You didn't want to cause a fuss with your shipmates thought so you kept to yourself and tried to do your best to get through your fragile state. But Jet being the kind of man he was, he could see right through you,

"I don't know what's going on between you and Spike, but you gotta figure that shit out and get your head back in the game Y/N," he said as you were traveling back to your room after returning from the failed mission. You gave him a sadden expression,

"I know, I'm sorry Jet, I just need to get some things figured out before I talk to him is all. But don't worry about me, I'll be ok, really ," you said giving him sad eyes with a forced smile. He gave you a sympathetic expression and put his metallic hand on your shoulder giving you a pat of reassurance,

"I hope so kid, if you ever need anything I'm here for ya. Just get back to being the Y/N we know and love, ok?"

You pulled him into a quick but loving hug, fighting the urge to cry,

"Thank you Jeb, you're the best." Pulling away you gave him an appreciative smile and made your way to your room, not realizing a certain someone had overheard the interaction.

...

You spent the rest of the day in your room, cleaning up and reorganizing to keep your mind busy, but when you couldn't clean or reorganize anymore you stripped down and crawled into bed. Though it was difficult, you were finally able to drift off to sleep.

There was a loud banging on your door that caused you to jolt up from your slumber, groaning in frustration you wrapped yourself in your blanket, pulled yourself out of bed, and walked to the door. A stoic Spike was waiting on the other side when you opened up,

"Hey," you said still half asleep. You looked at him groggily, he was shirtless and in a pair of light grey sweats, but you didn't pay too much attention to his attire considering the circumstances. He grunted lightly and pushed past you into your room, almost knocking you down. Sighing deeply you closed the door behind you and followed him into your room. He sat down at the foot of you bed while you walked to the head and sat, putting some distance between you both.

"It's late Spike," you said while fiddling with the blanket that clung to your body.

"Yeah, " he replied while flicking his lighter on and off. A bit of silence passed until you spoke up, your breath getting caught in your throat while asking,

"Why are you here?"

"I wanna talk," he stated in a whisper. Spike adjusted so he was now sitting cross legged on the bed and pulled a cigarette out from his pant pocket,

"You mind?" You shook your head in response, knowing it wouldn't matter if you did. Once he lit his lighter and took a puff the room began to fill with smoke, and a stoic expression fell on his face once again.

"What did you wanna talk about," you asked while turning your face the other way as to not inhale the smoke directly. He grumbled at your question, holding back what he wanted to say. It took some time, but after a few more grumbles and mutters to himself he finally spoke,

"About that night, when we argued," your head snapped back in his direction, unsure and anxious of where the conversation was headed.

"I've been thinking a lot about what was said from both of us, but mostly what I said. And even though a lot of the things that were said were true, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I said and how I treated you. It wasn't right of me to do that" he said gritting the cigarette between his teeth. You frowned,

"What do you mean by that?"

"What?"

"What do you mean by a lot of things that were said were true," you pried at him as you clutched the blanket. The smoke in the room was getting heavy and you began to cough, he sighed and put the cigarette out, seeing as it was clearly bothering you.

"What I mean is that some of what you said was true, like how I always run after her when I get even the slightest hint of where she is. And that whenever anything is brought it becomes the only thing that matters. It's one of those things I can't explain," he said falling back on to the bed. Your body relaxed, you looked at him as he laid there, lost in thought and an expression of confliction. You were about to speak, but he beat you to it,

"And I feel bad about what I said to you. It wasn't fair of me to assume what happened, and throwing it back in your face was wrong. I'm sorry," he said in a soft voice. His hand ran through his hair as he shuffled. He wasn't used to being this open or soft with anyone, anyone that wasn't her. Feeling you could open up to him now in this moment, you spoke calmly,

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed as much as I did. I lost my temper and said things I shouldn't have. I just wanted you to be open with me, like you were with Julia. And when I didn't get that, I lashed out at you, at that wasn't fair of me to do. I shouldn't have expected you to be as intimate with me as you were in your past. I'm really, truly sorry Spike," you said wholeheartedly as you pat his shoulder lightly. He jumped slightly in surprise but soon relaxed into your touch. He furrowed his brows as he turned his face towards you,

"You remind me of her, you know. To the point where it hurts," he said as he placed his hand in yours.

"How so?"

"It's the little things you do. The way you handle situations so calmly and treat everyone with compassion. But mostly it's the way you look at me. You have that spark in your eyes that she had, and its like seeing a ghost that continuously lingers. I know you're not her, and I don't expect you to be. And Im not sure how to manage these feelings I have, but I'm trying to be better." He sat up and turned to face you, his hand never leaving yours. His eyes finally meeting up with yours for the first time in weeks. The soft glow from the stars flowing into your room from thewindow illuminated the uniqueness of them. Captivated by his features you found yourself at a loss for words,

"Y/N, I promise that no matter what, I'll never use what happened in your past against you ever again. And I want you to know that when you're ready, I'll be more than willing to listen to all of it," he said as he softly cupped your cheek with his free hand. A few stray tears fell down your cheeks and he gently wiped them away as you spoke,

"Thank you Spike. You don't how much that means to me. And I promise to do the same for you whenever you're ready," you whispered softly to him. The glittering his eyes from the soft light shifted in something in you, what little bit of anger you had left for him melted away. And then a new feeling bubbled up inside you, a feeling you hadn't experienced in quite a while. You felt yourself drawing closer to him, feeling a bit bold, you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek,

"Thank you again Spike," you said as you gave him an expression of gratitude. He smiled softly in response, but you could tell he was still holding something back, something strained. His hands moved from your tear stained cheeks down to your bare shoulders, his eyes hazy and a faint dusting of pink in his face. You felt the heat rising all throughout your body, and your self control depleting with each passing second. Lust overcame your better judgement and you closed the space between you with a soft kiss. It was loving, yet needy all the same as your hands slowly ran down his shoulders and to his chest. You expected him to pull back, but instead he deepened the kiss and tightly gripped your shoulders. Pulling away to take a breath, your lips flushed and slightly swollen, you felt a spur of guilt in your chest,

"I'm sorry Spike, I shouldn't have done that," you stated disappointingly as you turned away from him and took your hands off his chest. Only to be met with his hand bringing your gaze back to his,

"Do it again." His eyes dark and glassy with desire as your lips gently crashed on to his once again. You slowly fell back on to the soft mattress. You slowly snaked your arms down his back in attempts to pull him closer, his calloused hands wandering down to your waist to do the same. He gave a slight groan as the kiss got more intense and sloppy, the need for his touch coursing through your veins once his grip tightened on your waist. He pulled away with a gasp for air as he looked at you, your face red as a rose and eyes half lidded with want,

"You're so pretty," he said in a breathy whisper.

He pulled you in close and his head dipped into your neck. His hair tickled your neck as his flushed lips make contact with your sensitive skin. A shiver flowed through your body as he began to sweetly suck on the skin, holding back your moans for the sake of your shipmates. As he left them one by one down to your collarbone he lightly tugged on the blanket still wrapped tightly around you. Pushing him up and off you for just a moment so you could get into a better position, you teasingly peeled the blanket off of you, slowly revealing your flushed skin. The way the stars light fell on your naked form left Spike breathless. Though he'd seen you naked many times before, the way the light fell on you, the expression on your face, and maybe just the reassurance that you understood him in that moment made him see you in an entirely different light. You held out your arms to him, coaxing him to come back to you. His hands caressed the plush skin of your thighs as he continued to leave hickeys down your collarbone and to your chest. Your heavy breathing and stifled moans filled the small space as he began to suck on the soft flesh and slowly moved to the hardened bud. As he took your nipple in his mouth, one of his hands moved to the other and began to roll and pinch it between his nimble fingers. You yelped at the bursting sensation coming from your chest,

"Spike," you quietly moaned out to him. Gripping his hair lightly as a way to keep you grounded from losing yourself. Everytime the two of you did this you found it very easy to lose yourself in the heat of it all and fully surrender yourself to him. But this time you were reluctant to do so. Not because you were afraid, but because of what you knew. The nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach knowing were never going to be her, not matter how hard you tried to be. He would always want her, and that hurt you,

"Hey, what's wrong," he said, concern lacing his voice.

"It's nothing," you sighed lightly as you twirled his hair between your fingers. He moved his hands to your face brought your gaze to his,

"Talk to me pretty girl." You tried coming up with a plausible excuse, but he could see right through you,

"You're thinking about her aren't you?" You nodded your head and looked away from him, shame spread across your face. He smirked at you lovingly and his hand moved down in between your thighs and rubbed against your sensitive, slick nether regions. A surprised, pleasure filled moan escaped you as he spoke,

"Don't think about her Y/N, right now the only thing I want you to think about is me. Because what I'm thinking about in this moment, the only thing I care about right now, is you. I want to please you, to touch you, and make you feel loved. Shes in the past, and you're here with me, and I want it to stay that way for as long as possible," he said as his pace became more intense, pleasure surged through your body in blissful spasms. You found a sliver of comfort knowing that he wanted you as much as you wanted him in this moment, and at that point you let yourself go completely. You couldn't hold in your moans and ragged breaths as his pace became almost too much to bare. His slender fingers slowed a bit as he moved down your slit and inserted a digit in to you. You covered your mouth and moaned sinfully into your palm as he went slowly in and out of you,

"Uncover your mouth sweetheart, I wanna hear every sound you make for me" sincerity and need dripping off his tongue as he spoke. You moved your hand, but still tried to keep the volume minimal. He added another digit and his pace quickened once more. Your moans started to become more frequent as you felt your orgasm approaching steadily. He curled his fingers against your walls, earning a squeal from you,

"Spike, if you keep that up," you said pitifully in between gasps. This didn't stop him from slowing his pace though.

"I want you to cum for me pretty girl," he said sinfully as he kept up his pace. As if on cue, you clenched around his fingers and let your orgasm flow through you. The moan you let out was much louder than you would've liked, but you didn't care, you felt amazing. He pulled out of you, his fingers covered in your slick.

He wiped in on his pants before removing them hastily, revealing his painful hard cock. The tip a flushed rosy color and a bead of precum slowly dripping down. You crawled over to him and looked up into his eyes pleadingly. He gave a slight nod, his breathing hitched at the the thought of what you were about to do. You took the tip into your mouth and swirled your tongue it, tasting the salt from his precum. You teased the tip a little more, earning light groans and ragged breaths from Spike before taking him fully into your mouth. He let out a whimper as you began to take I'm entirely into your mouth and down your throat. His noises like music to your as you want painfully slow,

"Fuck, it feels so good," he groaned as he ran a hand through your hair, wanting to take control, but not giving in to his primal desires. He wanted to be gentle with you and made sure that you were as comfortable as possible. His fingers ran through your hair as you began to quicken your pace, feeling the tip of his cock lightly hitting the back of your throat. It wasn't enough to hurt you, but you definitely knew it would be something you'd feel the next day. You could feel him pulsating against your hollowed cheeks, knowing he would last too much longer if you kept this up. You found yourself in a rhythm that made him quiver and whimper everytime you took him fully, hoping you'd get him to finish as soon as you could. But, despite Spike wanting nothing more than to cum down your throat, he gently stopped you. His cock sliding out of your mouth with a pop,

"Not yet pretty girl," he said wiping away the little bit of saliva that dipped from the corner of you mouth.

He lifted you up to him and kissed you with heated passion, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he pushed you back on to the bed. His hand roamed down to your thighs and proceeded to spread them,

"You ready," he asked in a hot, breathy whisper against your ear.

"Yes Spike, please," you pleaded, your skin on flushed and sensitive as ever and your pussy aching. He slowly thrusted into you, you clenched around him as a reflex to the slight relief you felt. Both of you moaning at the initial thrust,

"Fuck," he cried out. He brought you in close and began to slowly thrust in to you once you were fully adjusted. His fingers traced circled on your shoulder blades and he placed butterfly kisses down your forehead and cheeks. Feeling him pick up the pace, your moans became more prominent and carried throughout the room. You found yourself submitting to him once more as your moans got louder and louder with each thrust, not caring who heard the two of you.

"I love the sounds you make Y/N," he groaned out. You gave an incoherent gasp in response. He brought his gaze to yours,

"You're so fucking pretty like this, taking my cock so well. You're doing amazing sweetheart," he said losing himself to your gaze. The look of pure love and lust in your eyes was nearly too much to bear for him. He always thought you were an attractive person, even before you two started doing this. But as he got to know you, he thought you were one of the prettiest people he'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. And when he first saw you writhing under him, he thought he'd met an angel. The way you shivered under his touch, the way you looked at him with your starstruck eyes, eveything about you when you two were together made him admire you even more.

"So fuckin' beautiful," he said to himself. Lost in the thought of you being with him like this. You gripped at his lower back harshly as he began to bottom you out, losing control of his rhythm. His whimpers and your moans filled the room like a symphony, he whispered sweet nothing in your ear, telling you how beautiful you were and how much he loved being with you. You felt his cock pulsing once again against your slick walls, he was close, as were you. Your moans turned into pure, sinful squealing once again and you felt another orgasm threatening to wash over you,

"Spike, I-" He cut you off before you could finish.

"I know sweetheart. Just a little longer, please" he said said kissing your forehead sweetly. He lost complete control at that point and was fixated on making you cum with him. His thrusts were sporadic and needy, and his cock harder than ever as he continued to fuck senseless. His whimpers were now rhythmatic as he finally moaned out,

"Cum for me pretty girl." You gave out a pleasure filled moan as you came all over his still thrusting cock. The clench from your swollen pussy and the now dripping slick was more than enough to push him over the edge,

"Fuucckk," he drew out in an absolute sinful whimper as he pulled out of you and let out thick spurts of hot cum all over your inner thighs and pussy.

He stroked himself a few times to get all his cum out while taking a few deep, draw out sighs of relief. He must of been holding it in for a while because it was quite a load he let out, not that you cared, you were just happy you were able to be with him. You sighed in relief as he grabbed some tissues off your nightstand and cleaned you up then in turn cleaning himself. When he finished he threw the dirty tissues away and crawled into bed with you, covering you both in the blanket and pulling you in close for a sweet, loving cuddle. You began to drift off to sleep from exhaustion when you heard him say,

"I'm happy to have someone like you Y/N, " he whispered. You turned to him and kissed his cheek as he began to drift off,

"Same here," you said as you pulled him into the crook of your neck and the two of you fell asleep soundly in one another's embrace.

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