#specifically i am bad at apologies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

izzy-hands · 1 year

Photo

The Witcher + fine literature (in/sp.)

2K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 10 months

Text

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

9K notes · View notes

turtleblogatlast · 1 month

Text

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that small moment in “Air Turtle” where immediately after the Daves lose yet another game, Leo says how sorry he is and how he’s doing his best as the mascot. This moment is so short but it’s honestly jam-packed with a whole heap of characterization.

His need to apologize for things clearly not his fault - especially when it feels like he messes up the job he was given despite doing the best he can (the phrase “it’s not about you” takes a new meaning when this is one of the lessons to be learned from that - that he is not always solely responsible for things going wrong), his need to save face and make a connection with an older adult man in his life (something he consistently does throughout the series - he’s got a few daddy issues, always collecting potential father figures, it’s no wonder he jumps at the bit to keep rapport), and the way he sounds and looks and the words he chooses really pushes how he is just a kid (“Mr. the Dunk, I’m so sorry”).

Like I know it’s a one off moment that doesn’t truly mean much, but when put against the rest of the series it works really well with the rest of Leo’s established character and helps in solidifying later concepts as well.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt headcanons #am I looking too much into things? almost assuredly yes #I actually appreciate how tim immediately goes ‘it’s not your fault’ as well? like he could’ve just blamed this 15/16 year old but he didn’t #but yeah this moment got to me a little mainly because it made me realize that Leo…DOES take responsibility for things a lot #he messes up a ton yeah but he says sorry at a pretty consistent rate #and y’know thinking about it #THIS IS TINFOIL HAT TERRITORY BE WARNED #he’s mentioned being betrayed by his brothers before - I wonder if it was something as simple as taking the fall for like #breaking something of Splinters or whatever #point is it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to get the full blame for something only partially his fault #or not his fault at all in some cases #like in bug busters where Raph gets mad at Leo for not getting captured with them #(I understand Raph’s mindset here a ton - Raph’s the leader and he’s likely lashing out so I don’t blame the poor kid)#but this plus the moment at the beginning of the movie #where only Leo is reprimanded despite Mikey and Donnie having full autonomy to join the fun pizza stacking #make no mistake this is not at all a diss on everyone else!!! it’s just something I noticed #I think that “it’s not about you” doesn’t just pertain to being arrogant and wanting the spotlight #I think it’s also about how responsibility is meant to be shared #and like #Leo DOES mess up a lot! so he’s honestly probably used to having the blame because it is often at least somewhat warranted #he’s specifically described as being good at apologizing after all #tldr: Leo messes up a lot of the time so he is very used to blame and attention both good and bad #even when the full blame should not be solely on his shoulders

290 notes · View notes

podcast-hemocytoblast · 10 months

Text

The cruelest thing that the tma fandom has ever done is repeatedly depict Elias in Green Suits tm because now whenever I try to picture him I just see this image in my brain

#the magnus archives #tma #jonah magnus #elias bouchard #tma spoilers #*amv of elias beating an old man to death with a steel pipe while How Bad Can I Be plays threateningly in the background*#i’d apologize for posting this but i am not sorry.#pinning this specifically because i want other people to feel my pain about this

368 notes · View notes

pineappical · 1 year

Note

I always thought is very tricky to draw that wrinkle that goes from the nose and around the mouth and still male it look good, but gosh you nail it in every art, super expressive and pretty. Looking at all your drawings 🔍🕵‍♀️ to properly appreciate and study it. But wow really in love with your art style is so expressive and pleasing to look at, and the colors are so pretty 👌👌👌👌

i LOVEEE drawing wrinkles!!! it makes faces soso so expressive and i try to add wrinkles to every character i draw whenever i can. and the fact i also love drawing characters smiling (they make me happy, so i want to be able to share my joy to other people by drawing them smiling too!) which of course makes that wrinkle around the nose and mouth more prominent :-)

im not a person that can draw well from memory, i use references excessively even if it doesnt turn out the same way from the reference im copying from in the end 😊

i drew these out real quick but i have no clue how to explain any of these so i just thought about sharing it with you anyways!

call it "cheating" or whatever, but most of the time i even trace over the reference just to have a base i can copy the expression im trying to draw from. i do art for fun and if it makes my process that much easier then. well!

anyhoo, ignore the fact these are all mr lassos... i just love him a whole bunch 💛

#im not saying 'tracing is good!' as a whole. never trace from other people's work and pass it off as your own obviously. i just think you -#can learn a whole bunch of tricks and how to draw specific things if you just Trace Over References #'ohh but youll never Get Good by just tracing though! :/' who cares. i love drawing men being silly and thats enough for me.#Getting Good be damned!#apologies if this doesnt make any damn sense LMAO !! i just got home a couple hours ago and its now 3am zzzz #pn.ask #theres also the matter of me being obsessed with handlebar facial hairs and how it 'removes' the upper lip when im drawing so i use the -#bottom part of the mustache as the line for the mouth itself #ITS THIS WHOLE PROCESS.... IDK!!!! wish i could explain it any better but i am. so bad at writing down my thoughts. why cant i just beam -#them directly into your mind smh #THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK THOUGHHHH i waited till i got home before answering it because i have some stuff i wanted to say

72 notes · View notes

nebulouscoffee · 5 months

Text

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to)#I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things)#(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe)#anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically?#does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now?#does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day?#does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more?#idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually...#(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao)#cw death

13 notes · View notes

werewolf-transgenderism · 5 months

Note

What are your favorite angsty fics? I desperately need recommendations 😭

I recently read Lighthouse Expeditions, a modern au which has some canon-typical "Stede dipping out on the running away plan" and Stede and Ed's general poor self-worth/mental health flavored angst. I really enjoyed it and it's got a really strong and thoughtful connection to Ed's indigeneity running throughout since the author is māori

also always have to recommend my Fave Of All Time, a love that won't sit still, which hits exactly the hurt/comfort beats I look for in fic, good balance between the angst and the comfort and soooo well-written.

I will be honest I just went through all my AO3 bookmarks and these were the only two I had to hand and I read so much that I am certainly forgetting so many but. there's a solid like ~400k worth of hurt/comfort between those two so at least it's a decent amount I think

#I hardly bookmark anything anymore and half the stuff I have bookmarked is stuff that hasn't updated in like over a year so.#apologies #I usually just go onto AO3 set the filters to over 50k words and spelunk around #or I'll plug in specific tags for the flavor of angst I want to read #so. unhelpful I apologize but I barely bookmark anything anymore since I just have the pairing tab open anyway #I am not the person to go to for fic recs I will be honest. I am so bad at remembering what I've read #and I use my bookmarks exclusively to track WIPs I want to follow

11 notes · View notes

katyspersonal · 5 months

Text

Tumblr sorta needs a 'Mute' feature in my opinion. Like what if I don't want to block this user, what if I don't want to become enemies and in some days I'd like to interact. But also most of the time seeing how they avidly encourage everyone else whereas I get the passive-aggressive 'oh yeah very uhh... interesting... (please leave me alone I don't like your art lol)' makes me want to unfollow every single fan of these characters and never draw them again.

I remember two years ago the exact same thing happened when someone liked the same character and the same ship and I swear I was the only person in the fandom they bluntly left out and could not spare a single good word for. I can't even blame this on my art being "ugly" because this type of user always aggressively praises all art styles and all levels of skill, it feels more like 'a personal thing except we never fought a single time'. And now my toxic trait of needing approval from [cool person name] is back to haunt me years later! Add the unability to "abandon" this character/ship/whatever despite wanting to after facing so much unspoken passive spite, because I am a contrarian and the best way to trap me into doing something is to try to exclude me from it. I didn't face attempts to very aggressively bully me out of the yard/class/community/etc, sometimes with physical violence included, only to let something mid like passive aggression online finally do it.

I am really stupid and naive person despite my age, but in like 5% of the cases I will still understand the hint and understand what is going on. Yet I have to pretend to be clueless even in rare situations when I know someone hates me, because since they never admitted it, quitting will be perceived as me being "paranoid". But dear goooood, it hurts sometimes. I hope that one day I will be numbed to being treated as a tumor on an otherwise healthy body of society that someone is dying to amputate- and always a person whose approval I want, of all people. Knowing that this day will come is one of the things that keep me going as both a person and a creator. Things like viruses and diseases still try their best to persist, so even if I am actually one, I should persist. It doesn't matter whether I actually rot everything around me or this is just my self-depreciating delusion upon focusing on people that mistreated me and not people that loved me. What matters is persisting, I just still feel angry that it hurts. I can't respond spite with spite or passive aggression with passive aggression, I can't do the 'smug asshole' when I become aware that someone tries to starve me until I "die". I can just fall over and cry about it like a kicked dog, despite being so old, especially when it is a person I didn't have anything against.

And really.. It is as simple as turning the internet off, so I don't see The Person and can focus on doing stuff that I like, as if they never existed and can't crash my self-esteem. It is just annoying to keep doing this, a feature to not see them unless I am in the mood would be better. Like.. blocking is not an option. Not only it implies being enemies which is not my intention, but also it will be like an "evidence" that I was "crazy". They didn't do anything, right? Well, they know what they did, but it was never verbal, so it is my fault I "imagined things", right?

#/vent #/negative #/HEAVILY negative #fandomry rambles #like I started crying typing this do not read it unless you already know #it is just stupid how I don't even need any sort of drama to *just* annoy people to THIS severe point #like I said even before everything there was a very similar situation #I just evoke some primal hatred in specific type of people #it is probably what happened with maasanox but they apologized and moreover felt bad vibes from the stalker bully idiot #it is more like that meme from Lilo and Stitch #'ah yeah all artists and other creative fans deserve knowing they are liked and talented and supported...'#*katya walks in* 'EXCEPT THAT ONE!!!!!!!'#the punchline is that the two years ago guy and todays guy are fans of the same character #I swear the fictional bastard has abnormal ability to reveal the ugliest truths and bring out the worst in people #like the last time someone kinned the twink every single person here showed their true face and that was painful #not a single person got spared of showing what they were made of and me lacking spine was the LEAST of the sins brought up for judgement #you see this is why truth hurts. because people are terrible. truth is always ugly because WE are always ugly #I kinda love him for that but seriously can he stop making the worst things surface for FIVE minutes lol #in my excuse I am TRYING to kill my 'inner child' because these problems are too stupid but it seems impossible #I am a kicked dog with rabies in the past today and always

9 notes · View notes

astriiformes · 1 year

Text

Talked about this with the counselor I've been seeing at school earlier today but my intense, desperate need to leave a mark on the world (not even in a fame way, in like a "I need to leave this place better than I found it in a big, tangible way" one) and the fact that I only value myself when I feel like I'm adding good to it paired with the fact that I've been an insane perfectionist since I was a very young child and tear myself to shreds and lose all my confidence over tiny mistakes is literally going to kill me some day

#had been thinking about applying for a leadership position in our university ostem chapter for a while now #but psyched myself out of it last night before applications closed #because with everything that's gone wrong in the student group i was involved in this year i no longer trust myself to be a good leader #or frankly even a good person #i also had a slightly soul-crushing talk with a professor yesterday about my grade in her class #because even though she clearly thinks i'm brilliant (and basically said as much) i missed like two weeks of class #specifically because something happened with another student who i know i managed to make upset #(on accident. but it seems like she found my apology wanting)#and i feel so awful about it that i decided the only way to handle this was to avoid her so i didn't make her uncomfortable #so now my grade is suffering in a class i could've gotten an 'A' in #and it's just like. what am i even doing #i care so much about making the world a better place but i feel like such a bad person and trying makes it worse #and i know i'm under no obligation to put myself through this kind of stress but i don't know how to value myself if i don't #lately i feel like i'm beating myself up for being too fragile and unstable to even make a good martyr #and i know it's not healthy but if i try to step back i just get sad #like how now i feel awful about not sending in that application. and at least half dozen other similar things #i just want to make a real impact but it feels like the only thing i'm good for is making things worse #i'm not even fun to be around most days. i'm just.... sad

32 notes · View notes

perenlop · 8 days

Text

pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:

the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon

to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)

the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon

pretty much everything about that gible

blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)

boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen

pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character

#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit #the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league #but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle #i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/#that battling didnt even come up once #ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one #but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me #and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just #had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we #but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc #where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass #she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask #the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy #but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own #have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent #like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward #rewarding #imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show #as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all #was kind of a shitty move #like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th #which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself #by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!!#like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there #so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall #echoed voice

6 notes · View notes

seventh-district · 5 months

Text

i feel so bad for the people who follow me for the approximately 2 and a half fandom-related posts i make per year only to then probably realize that i spend the rest of my time vent-posting and oversharing in the tags

#Seven.txt #fr tho shout out to everyone who follows me on this blog specifically. y’all r gods strongest soldiers #and also i’m sorry for being like this lmao #i feel less bad for the ppl that obviously only follow me immediately after i post a selfie. y’all can learn ur lesson the hard way #if u follow me bc u think i’m cute without doing the research to learn that i am also insane.. well buddy that one’s on you #but i do apologize to my fandom girlies (/gender neutral girlies)#i shall be offering up an excerpt from my 40k Astarion fic sometime soon hopefully. as penance #penance isn’t the right word but i’m not retyping all of that #when will tumblr let users edit tags on mobile #and also apologies to my mutuals. i will respond to ur messages eventually i promise. just gotta wait until the horrors of life let up #then my capacity for conversation will return

4 notes · View notes

kakusu-shipping · 3 months

Text

Crush List

I use to have a crush list on my first pinned post but I ended up deleting it to save space and sense then have been pretty indecisive about bringing it back just because I didn't feel it was useful information and the concept was too broad and more and more excuses of the like.

Then my OCD got stuck in list mode so here we are anyway.

Long post under the cut, thankyou for your attention

Canon Crushes

Crushes that are canon to my Self-Insert's story (either I have a crush on them or they have a crush on me), some of which are also on the F/O list, but they're still in the crush phase to me <3

Katsuki Bakugo - My Hero Academia

Reedus Jonah - Fairy Tail

Usopp - One Piece

Makoto Katai - Komi Can't Communicate

Souichi Nishimura (Ironman) - Baka and Test

Junta Hayami - Romantic Killer

Franky Franklin - Spy X Family

Chieko - Princess Jellyfish

Masato Hanzawa - Sasaki and Miyano/Hirano and Kagiura

Baron Humbert von Gikkington - The Cat Returns

Arrietty Clock - The Secret World of Arrietty

The Beast - Over the Garden Wall

Ash's Sirfetch'd - Pokemon Anime

Guzma - Pokemon Masters

Doctor Mario - Super Mario

Metal Mario - Super Mario

Wardell - Animal Crossing

Spyke - Splatoon

CQ Cumber - Splatoon

Chara - Undertale

Flowey - Undertale

Gaster - Deltarune

Phineas Filch - Ace Attorney

Maugaloa Malosi - Overwatch

Luca Blight - Suikoden 2

Just can't be bother to make an S/I

For various reasons including; Already have too many S/Is for this media, There's a ship I like that already has the dynamic my S/I would have with them (including friend's self-ships), Haven't had a good S/I concept yet, etc.

Pantherlily - Fairy Tail

Taurus - Fairy Tail

Mayaya - Princess Jellyfish

Marco Pagot - Porco Rosso

Noppo - Drifting Home

Randall - Monsters University

Jasper - Steven Universe

Rose Quarts/Pink Diamond - Steven Universe

Padparadscha - Steven Universe

The Titan - The Owl House

Grime - Amphibia

Maddie Flour - Amphibia

King Andrias - Amphibia

Hugo Oak - Kipo and the age of the Wonderbeasts

Jamack - Kipo and the age of the Wonderbeasts

Black Hat -Villainous

Bobert - The Amazing World of Gumball

The Nomad - Nomad of Nowhere

Brock - Pokemon Anime

Cilan - Pokemon Anime

Ren - Pokemon Anime

Ingo and Emmet - Pokemon BW

Nanu - Pokemon SuMo

Mega Swampert - Pokemon

Regirock - Pokemon

Regice - Pokemon

Mega Lopunny - Pokemon

Dusknoir - Pokemon

Giritina - Pokemon

Blacephalon - Pokemon

Magnazone - Monster Mind

Bowser - Super Mario

Dimentio - Super Paper Mario

Grilby - Undertale

Damon Gant - Ace Attorney

Bobby Fulbright - Ace Attorney

Junko Enoshima - Danganronpa

Chihiro Fujisaki - Danganronpa

The Ultimate Imposter - Danganronpa

Gundham Tanaka - Danganronpa

Winston - Overwatch

Mako Rutledge (Roadhog) - Overwatch

Akande Ogundimu (Doomfist) - Overwatch

Jean-Baptiste Augustin - Overwatch

Richmond - Suikoden 2

Don't know enough

Either a non-major character I got a little too attached to or Their source material is too small to inspire me or I literally haven't directly interacted with the media they are from

Lapointe - Fairy Tail

Sanji Vinsmoke - One Piece

Usopp - One Piece

Bartholomew Kuma - One Piece

Bepo - One Piece

Kitsune - XXXHolic

Dream Seller - XXXHolic

Otori-San - I Like Otori-san!

Tomoki Inohara - Melt at Night

Satou Jun - Mimasaka-kun to Mayoeru Kobuta

Yuzuru Tachibana - Drifting Home

Metauro - Villainous

Caine - The Amazing Digital Circus

Data - Star Trek

Harvey Hornswoggle - Drawtectives

Animatronic - Drawtectives

Callagan - Pokemon the Power of Us

Pumpkinmon - Digimon

Noblepumpkinmon - Digimon

Tubba Blubba - Paper Mario

Ganon - Legend of Zelda

Meta Knight- Kirby

Galacta Knight - Kirby

Morpho Knight - Kirby

Magalor - Kirby

Roche - Dokapon Kingdom

Gaster - Undertale

Light Field (Snake) - The Nonary Games

Shamura - Cult of the Lamb

Ralph - Detroit; Become Human

Jerry - Detroit; Become Human

Bloodhound - Apex

#Crush List #Proship Selfship #Proselfship #Self Ship #One of these sections is MUCH longer than the other #If you're uncomfortable with sharing your F/O and see them on this list #Don't Worry About It #These are specifically just characters I think are neat #But am not actively Self Shipping with #Because Brain Dumb #OCD made me work on this for like a full week now #And I honestly still feel like it's too short or too uneven #Buuuuut whatever #I don't want anyone to question Usopp being in the first and third category alright I've never seen One Piece #But I do have a self insert vetted by my BF who is currently hyper fixated on it #And said S/I is down bad for Usopp's cringe fail Transgirl swag #Alright anyway #Thankyou all for reading if you did I apologize again for going list crazy recently #It's 2am but I might also post an Ask Game to follow this up sense I have a crush ask game on hand #And my Drafts have passed 30 and I'm going to explode if I don't start chipping that down some #Thankyou very much for reading if you did

6 notes · View notes

boysnberriespie · 6 months

Text

Managed to stave off tears all through class but got home and immediately started crying

#I feel so dumb because I Prepared myself for this #I had the feeling it was gonna happen #and so I allowed myself to limit my enthusiasm so it would hurt less #and it Does hurt less than if I had been surprised #but the way they specifically did it makes me so fucking upset #like I am not anti character death #I am not even anti my favorite character dying #but this just feels so bad and not thought out #and at the same time part of me feels like I’m being ridiculous for being so sad over this #even though I know so many other people feel the same way #I just feel ridiculous having gotten attached to a character who just had to die because ‘it’s a pirate show’ but also he’s gonna apologize #for ‘provoking’ Ed into abusing him #also to anyone who’s like #‘it’s still a queer show! you don’t need to stop supporting because of one bad episode’#one) it’s still just a TV show and I can do whatever I want #and 2) the missteps here on a thematic level are clear to me #and I don’t know what to say that others aren’t #already saying but this felt deeply cheap and unkind

2 notes · View notes

vole-mon-amour · 1 year

Text

Kerry is only available as a romance option for male-presenting V in Cyberpunk 2077 and is portrayed as a gay man. However, he is bisexual in the original tabletop game created by Mike Pondsmith. <…> “Honestly, we still consider Kerry to be bisexual,” replied R. Talsorian Games. Additionally, they provided the context that, “with male-presenting V vs female-presenting V we suspect Kerry’s attraction is deeply rooted into unresolved issues involving Johnny. Male-presenting V fits that particular mold better, to his subconscious.” This context, while potentially intriguing, isn’t particularly explored in the game, and has only led to more confusion about Kerry’s romance. Kerry associating a male-presenting V more closely with Johnny, and being more attracted to him as a result, shouldn’t change his sexuality as a bisexual man. As one reply to R. Talsorian Games says, “I am not straight when dating a man and I am not a lesbian when dating a woman. I am bisexual. To try to call me otherwise is bi erasure and plays into a lot of biphobic stereotypes.” In a role-playing sense, it’s also left those who have romanced Kerry feeling uncomfortable with the idea that Kerry is less into V on his own terms, and more into Johnny. <...> It’s clear throughout Cyberpunk 2077 that the grounds for Kerry and V’s relationship are found in each other and not Johnny. Kerry as a character is prevented from being an authentically bisexual man. It makes celebrating him as a gay man in Cyberpunk 2077 extremely complicated, for doing so requires the acknowledgment that this character’s sexuality differs across the material. And sexuality can certainly change. Kerry could have been bisexual at one point in his life and then later discovered that he’s gay. This would’ve been an easier explanation — and one that doesn’t undermine his relationship with V by making it about someone else. However, Kerry isn’t a real person; he’s a fictional character. And the universe in which he exists doesn’t acknowledge or address this possibility, so this credit can’t be given.

#cyberpunk 2077 #my main tags for this fandom:#cb2077 #kerry eurodyne #my opinion:#this issue exactly #the fact that it's not given in in game lore is VERY bad #they made me believe kerry was gay all along #when in reality he was bisexual in the original thing #so what am i supposed to believe?#would he date my mtf v in the original canon after all?#this entire things makes me very uncomfortable #cause while i do ship johnny and kerry and i don't mind #but it IS (as it should be) about V and Kerry together #and me making a male V to specifically romance Kerry in the long run bc I can't romance him from my mtf V?#doesn't feel right anymore #bc as i said when i believed he was gay can work #although it's bad that the game NEVER states before that moment that he's gay and lets you try to kiss him #couldn't u raise awareness before that so i know where he stands & that i should respect that and maybe apologize for trying to hit on him?#but when i know that originally he is canonically bisexual and the creator still considers him one while the game makes him explicitly gay?#now THAT is not good #when you make it about silverdyne make it about THEM & not V fitting that specific mold bc male V is male while looking nothing like Johnny #just... yeah #i love this game and this story and its characters but i'm also very on the fense about it #long tags

14 notes · View notes

elftwink · 2 years

Text

maybe i’m deeply desensitized and a total bastard from being online for too long but one thing about me is i do not feel sorry for troll blogs who intentionally post very inflammatory takes and then two days later start crying about getting death threats like we’re all supposed to now comfort them and apologize for the “crazy sjw woke mob” or what the fuck ever. sorry but lmaoooo. like nobody should get death threats for any reason obviously BUT considering you’re on the semi anonymous website with no names or identifying information where people send death threats to one another over children’s cartoons... if you’re going to post about how you “understand incels” you’re going to need thicker skin you cannot be folding the second someone hits you with an anonymous “go die”. everybody here (including you) knows that while your “death threats” are cruel and inappropriate, they ALMOST NEVER constitute an actionable threat on your safety or life and you look stupid pretending to actually feel threatened by the ‘snowflakes’ you spent days calling weak and sensitive. you are not going to get me with a “so much for the tolerant left” grift when we are on the website literally known for being overly hostile over nothing at all. AND you started it by being cruel and inappropriate yourself so like two wrongs don’t make a right but like. why did you start something you couldn’t finish

like if you get on here and intentionally try to stir the pot do not come fucking crying to me when you get burned. if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. crying because someone sent you an ask that said ‘i hope you die’ you would never have survived 2013 tumblr. sjws will outlive you and spit on your grave. bye

#good idea generator #want to be clear i'm talking about a very specific set of circumstances here #i obviously think there are cases where threats are actionable and need to be taken seriously #as well as cases where they aren't but they're so frequent and damaging that they constitute sustained harassment #even if the person making the threats could not possibly follow through #HOWEVER. what i am talking about here is people who make blogs that intentionally take very fringe opinions #usually either extremely conservative and bigoted or a pretend 'sjw' blog w/nonsense opinions trying to make a specific group look bad #(ie like impersonating a trans person and parroting extreme views that no real trans person holds but right wingers think we do)#will spend DAYS talking shit saying bigoted things in every set of tags fighting w/people etc etc #and then suddenly does a 180 posts a screenshot of some anons and starts crying about how the harrassment and cruelty are too much #and how this proves that actually the left isn't so tolerant and never discusses their ideas blah blah blah #and like. i dont want to downplay that the asks these people get do tend to be vulgar and cruel #but no matter what they say im always like oh inch resting so you poked a sleeping bear and it went for your throat? wild haha #and they're always like I DESERVE AN APOLOGY. SOMEONE APOLOGIZE FOR HOW THESE PPL BEHAVED #like. you're not getting that and you're not getting sympathy either. that shit is none of MY business. ms karma has it all taken care of #crocodile tears also. like not once have i seen one of these posts where i actually believed the person was genuinely affected #it's 100% a ploy to get out of the hole they dug themselves into #after they realized nobody likes you if you're intentionally hostile and shitty. they're trying to play to sympathies and it won't work #because i am a leftist but i am first and foremost a rude mean bitch #like either they're grifting and being knowingly hypocritical which is what i think is happening mostly #OR. they genuinely see a major difference between the cruelty they put out and the cruelty they get back #like fully incapable of understanding that they have been subjecting people to the exact same hostility they're getting now #and that's actually almost worse so i do not feel sorry for those people either #if you're gonna be stupid you better be tough!

9 notes · View notes