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wanttotalkaboutbooks · 9 months

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The Prey of Gods

by Nicky Drayden

This is an Afrofuturist novel that weaves together elements of sci-fi and fantasy to create a story of five main characters, who are tangled up in the dangerous, fantastical rise of the old gods.

My Rating: 4/5

If I had to describe this in the simplest way possible, I'd say that the book was really fun to read! You get to follow five characters who are VERY different from one another, and see how somehow their paths intersect into this crazy, larger-than-life story, and end up in ways that they absolutely could never anticipate in their wildest dreams. There are so many twists and turns of varying levels of hilarity, absurdity, and questionability, and it can get so weird, in ways where you really have to have fun with it and go along for the ride.

I ultimately did enjoy this book a lot, but I wasn't confident enough in my liking of this book to give it a 5/5; I also have some criticisms which I feel were substantial enough to knock it down to a 4/5 at least for me.

Content warnings (which might be spoilery) and full review under the cut!

The content warnings for this book include death, sexual assault (including brief depictions of SA on children), child abuse, animal death, drug use, medical procedures, and torture.

Let's start with what I liked about this book, of which there was a lot. One specific thing I want to shout out is the author's ability to develop character voice. Giving five different POV characters a unique voice is hard, but Drayden does it and she does it well. I especially like a lot of the chapters in the POV of Nomvula, who is a child, somewhere between 6-10 years old (I can't quite remember). Nomvula genuinely narrates like a child - a child that has been through a lot of trauma and hardships, sure, a child with strong moral fiber, but a child nonetheless. Other POVs that are worth mentioning are Muzi, a teenage boy, and Stoker, a politician - their character voices both reflect their respective personalities and way of speaking based on their ages and roles in society.

Drayden's writing style was unique, in a way I almost struggle to describe, because while its not flowery or prosaic, I also feel like "concise" is the wrong word to use. It's crisp but it's also very animated, which ties into what I said earlier about her strong character voice. It adds to the overall funky vibe of the story, and helps the book stand out against those written by authors who employ a more traditional, typical style of writing.

The plot itself has a lot of fun twists and turns, including a more sci-fi plotline that I won't reveal to you. From the start, the book is weird, and I mean that in a positive way. You have to laugh and enjoy the absurdity of some of the things written, and the good thing is that those absurd sounding things still tie into the plotline, and make sense later. Speaking of plotlines, one of the fun things to see is how the five characters become involved in the same crazy events by the end of the novel. Even at the beginning of the novel, there are tiny threads that show how the characters are loosely connected to each other; by the time the action ramps up, the five characters are at the heat of the conflict, probably wondering how the hell they ended up here.

Each character came from a unique background, and it is a very diverse cast in terms of race and other identities - there are gay characters, trans characters, and disabled characters. I think plugging diversity as a feature of a story can be dicey, because I think that runs the risk of tokenism, but in this story the characters and their various identities are done well - their experiences aren't angst fodder, but they do impact the characters and therefore the whole story in profound ways. There isn't any in-your-face messaging about their identities or any other social issue, for that matter, which I think is important because ultimately, our identities are deeply personal and should mean more for a character than just being a way to preach to the audience.

So while the majority of the things I have to say about this book are positive, there are some things I didn't love that I do have to mention.

One thing is that while I appreciated the author's brisk writing style, I do think it led to certain pitfalls when it came to character development or introspection. There were several instances in this book where I felt like a character changed their mind on a certain thing or had "character development" so quickly that it gave me whiplash. I didn't feel like there was very good buildup to all of these character developing moments - quite literally I felt as if someone had snapped their fingers and the character had changed their mind. I was able to overlook it because I enjoyed the overall story, but I really wish that the author had allowed for more gradual development and introspection for the characters. I attribute this to the writing style because I feel like the way Drayden writes really isn't introspective in general - the text doesn't really try to get deep into the characters' heads, which is fine, but there are some parts where this is sorely needed. There is one specific scene where the change in a side character's attitude to one of the main characters was so abrupt that I think it was, plainly, just badly written, but I won't say more because spoilers.

There were also one specific thing that peeved me enough to mention it here, which is that at one point in the second half of the book, Nomvula, the character who is under 10 years old, starts talking to older characters in a way that's very "wise beyond her ages". There's no reason for this to occur, especially since in previous chapters she clearly talks like a child. I absolutely detest child characters talking like adults, and it makes zero sense to me that Nomvula would start acting like another character's emergency therapist, talking about grief or some shit, while she is quite literally fighting for her life and also about seven years old.

In general, I think that there were certain heavier topics that the book should have addressed with more deliberation and depth. For example, one character is a politician, and while the book's main purpose isn't social commentary, there's clear corruption and all sorts of political mishappenings in the government they work in. Given that, I think the way the author wrote their political career and attitudes towards politics came across as naive - the character had a level of sincerity and optimism towards politics and the governing system that definitely doesn't exist in real life. This is just one example - there are other aspects of both character and world-building that I think should have been explored more to give the story additional depth.

Overall, though, I think this is a good book that I'd recommend to anyone who likes interesting, funky types of storytelling. I think it's important to read these sort of non-traditional styles to make sure we aren't bound by made up constraints of genre or any other standard we have for "good writing", and this book in particular created a fun and compelling narrative that I think can be enjoyed by a wide group of people.

#the prey of gods #book review #bookblr #scifi books #fantasy books #lgbtq books #queer lit #i wont lie im not 100% certain about my use of the term afrofuturism #because definitions seem to say its related to african diaspora and technically the story takes place in south africa #but the author is a black american and i did find this novel in my librarys afrofuturism section. so. ill go with it.#some articles refer to black panther as afrofuturist. so. im not certain. but im keeping it in. let me know if i shouldnt.

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jemandrr · 1 year

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The problem with tumblr literature is occasionally I get a flash of remembrance of some small aspect or technique and have no way to remember what the entire story was and find it. It makes it all the more magical to run into it again but also all the more haunting to grasp at the wisps dancing at my fingertips.

Like I remember in freshman year of college, introductory creative writing, we brushed briefly over when you might write in first or third person and I mentioned that one of my favorite stories was written in second person. I did not remember how to find it then, though I’m sure I had a good grasp of what it was like at the time, and while I’m sure I’ve reread it since, every now and then I get a random pang and remember that I said that in class once and it makes me wonder what story it was.

#also my suspension of disbelief is extremely unusually strong so i can vibe with stuff very easily #so 2nd person stories in general don't have the same barriers for me that I imagine they do for most lay readers #there is zero element of actually feeling like I have to fit into the 'You' as an addressee to get into the world #and while i think most tumblr lit fans are able to approach things like that as well #my understanding is that most people have no reading comprehension or willingness to embrace random fiction if it clashes with #them at all #which is disappointing because I've often found that amateur or niche media I like gets dismissed or glossed over by most #like some of the most evocative amateur poetry I've read from classmates #were the ones where most of the class were like i dont get it i didnt grow up in the american south #and like urgh it helps me understand how some things have to be beat over peoples head #and also why some media is intentionally bland when introducing otherwise potentially unfamiliar ideas to people #but anyways i think fun 2nd person fiction often has such unique texture and i feel bad that most people probably don't get to experience it #like they don't end up in a place to be exposed to it and if they do they probably still don't feel it that deeply on average?#and its so hard to maintain a balance of not wanting to underestimate the average person and #also learning the hard way over and over again that things I try to write or to introduce people to end up with just a lot of question marks #in response

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probablyasocialecologist · 9 months

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Degrowth basics

"The word degrowth stands for a family of political-economic approaches that, in the face of today’s accelerating planetary ecological crisis, reject unlimited, exponential economic growth as the definition of human progress."

What is Degrowth? | Caracol DSA

Why degrowth is the only responsible way forward | OpenDemocracy

Degrowth and MMT: A thought experiment

We Need A Fair Way To End Infinite Growth | Current Affairs

Degrowth: A Call for Radical Abundance | Common Dreams

Can degrowth save us and the planet? | Nottingham Trent

Defending limits is not Malthusian | Undisciplined Environments

Can We Have Prosperity Without Growth? | New Yorker

The Urgent Case for Shrinking the Economy | The New Republic

Giving Up on Economic Growth Could Make Us Cooler and Happier | The New Republic

A guide to degrowth: The movement prioritizing wellbeing in a bid to avoid climate cataclysm | CNBC

What is ‘degrowth’ and how can it fight climate change? | Popular Science

Enough for Everyone | Yes! Magazine

Toward a Post-Capitalist Future: On the Growth of “Degrowth” | Lit Hub

All we are saying is give degrowth a chance | The RSA

A pathway out of environmental collapse | newsroom

On Technology and Degrowth | Monthly Review

What is degrowth (and more importantly, what is it not)? | META

Green growth

"There is no empirical evidence that absolute decoupling from resource use can be achieved on a global scale against a background of continued economic growth."

Is Green Growth Possible? | Jason Hickel & Giorgos Kallis

The Myth of America’s Green Growth | Foreign Policy

The decoupling delusion: rethinking growth and sustainability | The Conversation

Is green growth happening? | Uneven Earth

Green Growth | Uneven Earth

The Delusion of Infinite Economic Growth | Scientific American

Degrowth is not austerity – it is actually just the opposite | Al Jazeera

A response to Paul Krugman: Growth is not as green as you might think | Timothée Parrique

Deceitful Decoupling: Misconceptions of a Persistent Myth | Alevgul H. Sorman

Degrowth isn’t the same as a recession – it’s an alternative to growing the economy forever | The Conversation

Degrowth and the left

"In the middle of an ecological emergency, should we be producing sport utility vehicles and mansions? Should we be diverting energy to support the obscene consumption and accumulation of the ruling class?"

The Left should embrace degrowth | New Internationalist

Ecosocialism is the Horizon, Degrowth is the Way | The Trouble

Degrowth: Socialism without Growth | Brave New Europe

Toward an Ecosocialist Degrowth: From the Materially Inevitable to the Socially Desirable | Monthly Review

For an Ecosocialist Degrowth | Monthly Review

Degrowth and Revolutionary Organizing | Rosa Luxemburg NYC

The necessity of ecosocialist degrowth | Rupture

Degrowth is Anti-Capitalist | Protean Mag

Degrowth Communism | PPPR (Part one | Part two | Part three)

Economic Planning and Degrowth: How Socialism Survives the 21st Century | New Socialist

Degrowth and the South

"Southern countries should be free to organize their resources and labor around meeting human needs rather than around servicing Northern growth."

Who is afraid of degrowth? A Global South economic perspective | IBON Foundation

The anti-colonial politics of degrowth | Jason Hickel

Unlearning: From Degrowth to Decolonization | Rosa Luxemburg NYC

Degrowth requires the Global South to default on its foreign debts | Resilience

Journals/Reports

Degrowth: a theory of radical abundance | Jason Hickel

A systematic review of the evidence on decoupling of GDP, resource use and GHG emissions, part II: synthesizing the insights

What does degrowth mean? A few points of clarification | Jason Hickel

Providing decent living with minimum energy: A global scenario | Global Environmental Change

Urgent need for post-growth climate mitigation scenarios | Nature Energy

Degrowth and critical agrarian studies | Julien-François Gerber

Decoupling debunked – Evidence and arguments against green growth as a sole strategy for sustainability | European Environmental Bureau

Incrementum ad Absurdum: Global Growth, Inequality and Poverty Eradication in a Carbon-Constrained World | David Woodward

Degrowth can work — here’s how science can help | Nature

A New Political Economy for a Healthy Planet | Jason Hickel

Planning beyond growth. The case for economic democracy within limits

Millionaire spending incompatible with 1.5 °C ambitions | Cleaner Production Letters

Is green growth happening? An empirical analysis of achieved versus Paris-compliant CO2–GDP decoupling in high-income countries | The Lancet

Books

Exploring Degrowth: A Critical Guide | Pluto Press

A People's Green New Deal | Max Ajl

Less is More: How Degrowth Will Save the World | Jason Hickel

Breaking Things at Work: The Luddites Are Right About Why You Hate Your Job | Verso Books

The Future is Degrowth: A Guide to a World Beyond Capitalism | Verso Books

The Imperial Mode of Living: Everyday Life and the Ecological Crisis of Capitalism | Verso Books

Marx in the Anthropocene: Towards the Idea of Degrowth Communism | Kohei Saito

Degrowth & Strategy: how to bring about social-ecological transformation

27 Essays and Thoughts on Degrowth | Giorgos Kallis

Videos

Yes To Limits To Growth! | The Other School

How Degrowth Can Save the World | Andrewism

How We End Consumerism | Our Changing Climate

Demystifying Degrowth | Rosa Luxemburg NYC

Degrowth is not Austerity | John the Duncan

Degrowth and Ecosocialism | Planet: Critical

Degrowth in 7 minutes: Fighting for climate by living better | Think That Through

The Future is Degrowth (w/ Aaron Vansintjan) || SRSLY WRONG

"Degrowth means power to the working class!"with Jason Hickel | GND Media

Others

degrowth.info

Degrowth Journal

Doughnut Economics

#degrowth #green growth #postgrowth #ecosocialism #solarpunk #i'll update this as i go

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sleepinghypnos · 2 months

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Female Idol/s x Named Character

(You can insert yourself as the Protag…)

Tags: Smut

Genre: Threesome (Kinda?), Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Female Idol x Named Character (Reader), Cum swallowing, Facial.

Red Velvet Joy & Wendy x Han Jin-woo (Protagonist.)

3rd Person’s POV

Han Jin-woo is a mixed, his mother was pure Korean while his father is Italian-American, His parents decided to live in Korea. He was just 12 years old when his whole world came crashing down. His parents, who were his only family, died in a tragic car accident. Suddenly, he found himself alone and without anyone to turn to.

As an orphan, Han Jin-woo was living with their family’s butler in his house. The butler gave Han Jin-woo knowledge he has to know about his parent’s inheritance. Despite the difficult circumstances, he refused to let his past define him. He was determined to become successful and create a better life for himself.

At the age of 18, Jin-woo received a large inheritance from his parents' estate. Most people would have squandered the money on material possessions and luxuries, but Jin-woo had bigger plans. He used the money to start his own business.

With his sharp business acumen and natural leadership skills, Jin-woo's company quickly became one of the most successful in South Korea. By the age of 26, he was the CEO of a powerful company.

Due to his interest in the Entertainment Industry. He had a vision to merge two of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea, JYP and SM, under one umbrella company. Many thought it was an impossible task, but Jin-woo was determined to make it happen. JYP and SM Entertainment are both facing a huge crisis due to staff negligence, improper management, and backlashes about the songs they produce for their idols. This is the key for Han Jin-woo to devour the entertainment giants.

Through months of intense negotiations and strategic planning, Jin-woo managed to bring JYP and SM together under one company called Deicide Entertainment. The newly formed company became an overnight success, dominating the entertainment industry with its wide range of talents and production capabilities. Jin-woo's name became synonymous with success and his company became a force to be reckoned with.

Not only did Han Jin-woo successfully merge the two companies, but he also revitalized the dying image of idols in JYP and SM, then turn Deicide Entertainment into a multi-faceted media conglomerate that now produces music, dramas, films, and manages some of the biggest names in the industry.

Apart from his business acumen, Han Jin-woo's towering height, chiseled features, and fit physique have also made him a heartthrob in the entertainment industry. His striking looks coupled with his success have made him a desirable figure, and it is no secret that he has had his fair share of romantic encounters. In a society where the personal lives of public figures are heavily scrutinized, Han Jin-woo's sexual activities have sparked controversy and gained him a reputation among his colleagues. However, he remains unapologetic and believes that his personal life has no bearing on his professional capabilities.

2nd Person’s POV (Named Character)

You step into the dimly lit dance practice room, the scent of sweat and determination filling your senses. As the CEO of Deicide Entertainment, you had often visited this place to check in on your artists and make sure everything was running smoothly. Today, you were specifically here to see Red Velvet and their upcoming comeback.

At 28 years old, you had already achieved great success in the entertainment industry. Your company was known for its innovative ideas and with the merging of JYP and SM Entertainment had taken the industry by storm. You were a force to be reckoned with, both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

As you enter the room, you spot the girls of Red Velvet practicing their choreography. They were your top girls, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride and excitement at the sight of them. But your focus quickly shifted to two members in particular, Son Seung-wan, or as the world knows her as Wendy and Park Sooyoung also known as Joy.

Wendy was known for her powerful vocals and graceful dancing, but in that moment, all you could see was her glistening with sweat as she moved to the music. Joy on the other hand has seductive voice and charismatic aura. They stopped dancing and took a break. And as if sensing your gaze on them, they greeted you together with the other members.

You couldn't resist any longer, your desire for her taking over. You walk towards to the two people that caught your attention, ignoring the startled looks of the other members.

“Follow me, both of you.” You said and greeted the other members of Red Velvet, the two girls followed you to your office.

“Lock the door.” You calmly said and Joy immediately locked it, you wrap your hands on Wendy.

Wendy doesn't resist, her hands instinctively finding their way to your neck, pulling you down for a passionate kiss. The smell of her sweat and the sound of her breathless moans only fueling your desire. You press her up against the glass window wall in your office, your hands roaming over her body hungrily.

With a smirk, you lean down and whisper in Wendy's ear, “Why don't you suck my cock, Wendy?”

Without any hesitation, Wendy kneels down in front of you, unzipping your pants and pulling out your throbbing shaft. Her eyes widen at the sight of it, “the rumors about you really is true.” Wendy said and she bites her lip in excitement. She wraps her soft lips around your girthy 12 inch cock, sucking and licking it with expert skill.

You groan in pleasure as Wendy's hot mouth engulfs you, her tongue swirling around your head while Joy watches from behind her. When Wendy pulls back for air, Joy takes her place, eagerly taking your cock in her mouth and deep-throating it. They take turns pleasing you, choking and gagging on your massive cock as they moan in ecstasy.

As you reach your peak, Wendy and Joy playfully fight over who gets to swallow your load. In the end, they both get a taste, as you have obscene amount of load, their faces are half-covered and mouths are full, you can't help but chuckle at their competitive nature. As they clean you up.

“Joy, lie on the couch and spread your legs.” And before she knew it, she was lying on the couch with her legs spread, while you knelt in front of her. Joy felt her face flush with embarrassment, but also a sense of excitement.

You wasted no time, as you eagerly began to perform oral pleasure on Joy. Joy couldn't help but let out a loud moan as your skilled tongue worked its magic on her. She had never experienced anything like this before, and it was driving her wild.

As Joy moaned and writhed on the couch, Wendy could only watch in arousal. She wanted to join but she couldn't deny the intense desire that was building up inside her as she watch her group member enjoys herself.

After a few minutes, you pulled away from Joy, leaving her gasping for air, she reached her peak and now quivering. You set your eyes on Wendy, she aroused and horny, since you are generous, she also get the oral pleasure she deserves. Now both of the idols were wasted just by your tongue alone.

But before Joy could even catch her breath for a little longer, you positioned Joy in all fours, she wasn’t ready to take you inside of her. Being considerate, you slowly entered her, and Joy couldn't help but cry out in ecstasy. Wendy's eyes widened in shock as she watched how your cock entered Joy’s pussy.

Your thrusts became faster and more intense, and Joy couldn't contain her pleasure any longer. She was moaning loudly, screaming your name as she reached her peak. “Yes! F-fuck! Fill me, please fill me up! Breed me until I’m bloated.” You followed soon after, both of you collapsing onto the couch in a state of pure bliss. Filling Joy’s womb with your virile seeds.

Wendy is waiting for her turn patiently, you can’t let a woman wait and you lead her to the carpeted floor and she willingly lies down. You look at her, admiring how perfect she looks. You start to undress your top.

As soon as your bodies connect, you feel a shockwave of pleasure course through your entire body. You start to penetrate her slowly, taking your time to make her adjust to your size. Wendy's moans fill the room, and you can't get enough of her. You increase your pace, and she starts to become a wreck under your touch. She loses control, and all that is left is sheer ecstasy.

You are thrusting in and out, letting her feel your weight and muscular physique against her petite body.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the air, along with Wendy's moans and gasps. You can feel her reaching her peak, and with one last powerful thrust, she squirts, making you both gasp in surprise.

“I didn't know you could squirt,” you say, while caressing her face.

“I didn't think I could do it either,” she replies, panting. “I'm filling you up just like what I did to Joy,” you say, referring to one of Red Velvet's other member lying on the couch just happily watching.

Wendy nods, surrendering to the pleasure you are giving her. You continue to pound into her, pushing her to the edge over and over again. As you feel your own release approaching, you thrust deeper and came inside of her filling her to the brim. You pull out and watch as your cum flows out of her.

Joy eagerly uses her mouth to catch it all, making you groan in satisfaction, she shared the cum she collected to Wendy by kissing one another.

“Relay my message to Irene after you met with your co-members later.” You said to the girls still kissing. But they nodded because they already knew what the massage was. It’s Irene’s turn…

A/N: I don't know what to write so here, sorry for ghosting those who wants the continuation of the Bodyguard Series.

#kpop smut #smut #kpop fic #wendy smut #joy smut #red velvet smut

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soracities · 2 years

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I suffocate because I am the word and also its echo.

Clarice Lispector, Água Viva

#q #lit #quotes #clarice lispector #agua viva #portrait of the artist #the book #reading #brazilian lit #south american lit #m #x

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mandalhoerian · 9 months

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ghost to its haunt, I | leon kennedy x reader

read part 1: moth to a flame pairing: leon kennedy x f!reader summary: Even if it is full of love, all a ghost can do is haunt. But this time, it has to be different. word count: 6K warnings: angst, hurt no comfort, peppers of fluff as a treat, smut (blink and you'll miss it), leon being feral from day one like seriously he's unhinged, his negative self-talk notes: this installment comes in two chapters. chapter two is still being written and will be published and linked here when i'm done. header template can be found here. we're nearly at the end besties, thank you for sticking with me until the end, and please enjoy.

🌀 read on ao3! 🌀 NEXT CHAPTER

i. Leon knew right from day one when you’d breached the solitary safety of his shadowed corner in the bar of his unusual drinking choice, that you were tempting and twice as dangerous as a mirage to a parched man lost in the desert.

In the pleasantly neon-lit sanctuary of a bustling bar, amidst the cacophony of clinking glasses and spirited conversations, he stuck out like a sore thumb with the air of melancholy around him, making people near his booth uneasy with the way he was observing everything — to them, he was not to be approached, as if one look to his way would be enough for him to start a fight, but in reality it was his inability to relax in crowds, subconscious calculating for unlikely scenarios to unfold and contingency plans on how to get away. Yet he’d wanted to come here just once anyway, see what made here one of Major Krauser’s favorites, it was psychological torture, but Leon did it to himself anyway, knowing so.

You came to Leon first when nobody would approach him, setting a starting point of the pattern in your relationship where this’d be repeating over and over again.

The stifling hot humidity of the South American forest and how heavier the stench of blood stuck at the back of his nose still followed him around months after, and you tracked the trail like a shark in the water, it was in the way you’d been openly watching him upon spotting him in his corner, in the way you slid towards him in the booth, eyes glinting, seeking, curious, expecting — giving straight away of how fresh you were to this compared to the poor unfortunate soul before you chasing after Operation Javier.

You looked young, around his age, but had a certain softness and eagerness that reminded him of an unprepared rookie back in 1998, so before you could get a word in, he’d said, “I suggest you walk away for your own safety. You know how this ends.”

You know how this ends.

Such first words. What a way to doom an entire relationship and a person.

If Leon knew how his words had shaped the reality he’d chosen, he’d have gone with something promising, more open, like, “How’d you know I wanted company?” — he’d expressed himself more, made his attraction more prominent, secured you to him better, but he was always about safety and protection, wasn’t he? Paranoid beyond belief, self-sabotaging. Of course he’d warned you about taking caution so you wouldn’t get hurt, especially given what had happened to the previous journalist looking into the operation.

Your reaction to this was opting to buy him a drink instead of getting intimidated. Leon had made it clear over and over again he wouldn’t tell you anything and to go your own way. You didn’t know anything about him other than being a connection of the White House to Operation Javier somehow and he certainly wouldn’t be the one reporting this back to the base, so he made sure this was about saving one more person’s life from being ruined in vain even after this brief encounter had led to a hasty hookup in a bathroom stall and eventually to a hotel room like he was some teenager with no control over his dick —

You had ruined everything.

Unabashedly interested in him and just pushing, eager, genuine, passionate as you kept talking about your job in wanting to expose corruption the more he kept things dry and silent, and he just saw the same spark in you that he had once; how naive, how idiotic, how endearing — such respect-worthy dignity and enthusiasm and drive that you had managed to find him of all people in your pursuit. He’d never been attracted to anyone quite like this, not the same way with Ada, not in that elusively mysterious and alluring, dangerous and unapproachable, thrilling distance, but the other end of the spectrum, the sort that fed on kinship and admiration that made him want to protect you from what he knew would happen if you kept going like this.

Jesus, it should have been discouraging you from this path and nothing more, instead, Leon had been randomly snapped out of years of dissociation and autopilot since Raccoon City, and for what? Mind-blowing sex he didn’t even know was coming for his throat on a random fall night in 2002?

Really, it was his routine being broken that had done it.

His life was meticulously governed by strict routines and unwavering habits, as if each day were a precisely choreographed fight, a paragon of order and structure. Leon’s world thrived on meticulous organization, where every document, tool, and weapon had its designated place. Even the symmetry of his living space mirrored the precision of his mind, with every item aligned flawlessly, punctuality eventually becoming second nature to him, his internal clock a finely tuned instrument, ensuring he was never a moment late, not at all a result of being late in his first day as a cop. Time was a precious commodity, a resource he safeguarded fiercely, as he understood that even the smallest delay could have dire consequences. This devotion to structure allowed him to remain laser-focused on his objectives, and also avoid hellish punishments back at Offutt Air Force Base located near Omaha, Nebraska where he had spent quite some time as a special agent trainee.

Military would make a clockwork out of anyone, but being trained under Major Krauser had turned him into a well-oiled machine that only had training and mission objectives in mind. Leon used to be highly adaptable and open to surprises before, but his encounter with you had revealed just how unprepared and anxious to impulses he’d been molded to become. Spontaneity had ended up a stranger to him, an unwelcome disruption that threatened to dismantle his carefully constructed world, and as an extension, anything else was regarded as losing control — which was, an unthinkable notion; he had been trained to maintain composure in the most chaotic of situations.

There wasn’t even the semblance of composure in how he handled you.

Never in his wildest dreams would he entertain the thought of someone managing to unbelievably, randomly, turn him on so uncontrollably one day that he’d lose his mind enough to risk public indecency in a fucking bathroom stall with pants around his ankles not only once, but twice.

Sitting on the toilet with your back to his chest, one leg spread wide open over his knee and the other hiked up in the air from his elbow, you basically limp in his arms as all you could concentrate on was shutting your mouth tight enough not to make noise as he wildly bounced you up and down on his lap — and the next thing he knew after blowing his load right after with no rest whatsoever was that he had you flat against the graffiti-stained door separating a bunch of girls from what the two of you were doing, one hand clamped on your mouth, having you press your thighs together so he could languidly slip back and forth against the tight crevice of your wetness and the plushness combined that he had to use all his control for the door to not rattle and feeling your pussy spasm each time he grazed your clit, his head buried in the crook of your neck whispering filth he didn’t know his mind was capable of conjuring right to your ear with no filter —- how much of a pervert you were to be enjoying this when all it had to take was a peep from you for people right in front of you to discover you were getting off to the thought the humiliation of being looked at while getting fucked from behind, all the while it was Leon who was dying to explode from how horny he was that it was unbearably painful.

And the only thing he could think about was to hell with it all and the hammering of his heart to hear you moan uncontrollably, he could just plunge inside you right then and there, had to bite down on your clothed shoulder to hold back the impulse, hell, it took everything in him to keep his breathing steady and not heave, every second the girls didn’t leave was dragged torture, his legs were trembling from holding back and the sheer excitement, but holy shit was it concentrated ecstasy that had his eyes rolling behind his head when they had finally left and he’d rammed himself in to the hilt so forcefully that the hinges of the door had almost broken off.

You had consumed him whole, your skin, your scent, your taste, wrapping him in a cocoon of warmth and pleasure and just digesting his whole being that he didn’t even have one grain of logic or common sense as a pea brain or nothing — just that he wanted to keep fucking and it was so soft and everything just felt so good and good god Leon was going to have an aneurysm from overheating because of you.

The post-nut clarity after all that was interesting to say the least.

A blood clot had to have shot up to his brain for his sanity to have snapped like that … And for him to think this wasn’t enough and he wanted more as you rested in his embrace — in a fucking bathroom stall. He wasn’t a people person. He simply didn’t do this shit in the first place, what was even happening?

Leon didn’t know what to be embarrassed about: of himself for doing this kind of thing in a place like this or disrespectfully exerting a woman to this degree, he had no idea whatsoever where all the talk about getting discovered had come from, didn’t that make Leon the pervert? Good lord.

He had to be thankful that you were coming down from a high and had no energy to turn around and look at his face, because you surely would see him transition from all shades of red out of shame. What the actual hell had come over him?

Leon was made aware that night that it’d been such a long time since he’d felt such a visceral physical response to someone that his whole body was in a flushed flurry — the kind of intensity that hadn’t even scraped the top of his heated need, he couldn’t even think before suggesting you two take this to somewhere else better that he could drown in this feeling some more.

The man who said this basking in your afterglow and the man who warned you about how this ended were two different people.

The man at the very beginning of this would have known better than to let himself indulge in you.

But your pull was worse than that of a black hole’s, and in Leon’s mind, him taking you to a hotel room was equivalent in his mind to tossing you over his shoulder like an impatient caveman foaming at the mouth, and he knew he’d looked so constipated and unenthusiastic about it back then because he was trying to keep his shit together and not let his libido rush straight to his head, it was absolutely batshit crazy that his mouth was fucking salivating over you and he had to physically fight not to get hard where he stood, especially after having a taste of how you melted in his arms and he just couldn’t keep his together and — this was unreal, Leon had never went into a frenzy over someone before and you’d just taken it.

He wanted to be gentle, enjoy it, savor it, and you weren’t even going anywhere, but even after he’d gotten him and you a room, Leon had taken you like he hadn’t fucked in his life before, like his dick had gotten hard for the first time in his life, and pathetically like he was desperate for his skin to touch another human being’s — and you…

You.

You had made everything worse.

He still remembered that exact moment when your hands found his hair, the gentleness of the caressing contrasting his rough rutting, he remembered how the rhythmic squeaking of the bed stuttered and gave it right away that he was caught off guard even though his head was buried in the cushion of your tits — embarrassing, utterly disgraceful, all that you’d done was pet his fucking head and his heart had purred like a goddamn cat, and even more shameful was that he’d come right on the spot when you’d started pulling on his strands, Jesus fuck, he wanted to die on the spot.

One condom change and a carry to the bed later (because Leon had shattered upon passing the threshold of the hotel door and he’d wrapped your legs around his hips and had you against the door, again) things had finally begun to become mellow and sensual as he’d started enjoying you, significantly calmer and more collected compared to before, paying more attention to how you liked it and what you liked, where you liked better, putting those observational skills to more gratifying uses.

Somehow this was the most satiated he’d been yet, actually taking in the sight of you struggling against the pleasure brought him the unexpectedly superior fulfillment to chasing his own height. He was alerted and awake, sensitive to the very last cell watching you, endeared, wanting to give you every last drop of euphoria he could just to see how you’d react to it. And the more he explored, the more he couldn’t get enough, so adorable, so sexy, so hot, how could he take pleasure in making someone cry? How and why the hell couldn’t his dick stay down for five minutes?

By the time he’d finally become downright spent and quenched the fire inside, the sun had already risen, the floor was just littered with ripped condom packets, you were covered in hickeys, bite marks and bruises that he’d questioned if he was a feral animal, and the sheets were… disgusting.

Leon was a repenting sinner with an imaginary tail between his tails when he’d wrapped you in clean linen and laid you on the sofa, changed the sheets, and straightened the pillows, getting you to pee and drawing a bath for you afterwards, it was mortifying he’d made you basically unable to walk for the time being, and he surely didn’t deserve your insistence that you two share the bath together, twice as horrified and disturbed at the tender intimacy with which you’d washed him, warm fingers massaging his scalp almost lulling him to sleep.

Sharing the room service breakfast, streaks of golden sunlight of the early hours washing your face and making the white of your bathrobe glow as he tried not to make it obvious he was ogling, you’d tricked him into promising you a date for all that he’d put you through that night, you’d be calling in sick; and Leon was covering his face in guilt and embarrassment inside even though all that he’d presented you was an abashed grin and an, “As the lady wishes.” — stupidly giddy enough to have lowered his guard (like that idiot in 1998) that you hadn’t suggested this because you wanted information out of him but were genuinely interested in his company, in him.

He wasn’t overthinking it back then, just reveling in your presence, luxuriating in the fluffy, satisfied, peaceful feeling, new to him, not afraid of how it could be ephemeral. He was drunk, and not conscious about the fact just yet.

The withdrawals had hit right after parting ways with you — this was a mistake, this was a huge mistake, he shouldn’t have promised anything, he shouldn’t even have done this in the first place. Leon had no time for this, couldn’t even keep a plant alive if he committed, didn’t know how it’d work, nobody was allowed to know about the kind of work he did, the world of bioterrorism was a secret kept so tightly it became nooses around the necks of nosey individuals.

He just couldn’t allow himself to loosen the leash around his normal because if he did let go of himself, he would make a mistake. That mistake could doom you.

More importantly than it not being fair to you, he’d be putting you in danger just by being in your proximity.

All that fretting around, putting the stress of wishing to see you again but the garbage feeling he mustn’t (that he hadn’t expected to make him this moody) into exercising more intensely than before, and ending up scaring the folks around the office unintentionally in work, only to feel immediately like spring had come at the drop of a hat when you’d called saying because he hadn’t, apparently, and you were waiting for him.

This was terrifying. How you made him feel... It was entirely out of his control.

I suggest you walk away for your own safety. You know how this ends.

Leon should have kept telling this to himself.

ii. The date was at your place, planned from start to finish by you, an attentiveness and special treatment he didn’t deserve, but Leon got warm inside anyway, especially after you said this seemed like the better option since he didn’t seem to do well in crowds. Something about him being noticed on this kind of personal level had caused him to confuse his right from his left and he was sure his palms were sticky just from that and the way you smiled.

You’d said you wanted to get to know him, and Leon unfortunately didn’t have enough going out experience to decide if cooking together and then sitting down to solve a murder mystery game was the most creative thing ever or not, because he thought it was.

At the end of this, he knew you much better, and had shown you himself in a way that wouldn’t be possible by answering questions.

Leon had approached the murder mystery solving game with a calculated and analytical mindset, trained to think strategically, he had diligently assessed every clue, scrutinizing them for hidden meanings and connections. He hadn’t meant to get invested this much, but he had ended up approaching the game like a covert operation and a blast from the past to his police academy days, examining evidence with sharp attention to detail and requiring evidence instead of just a hunch like you kept hitting him with. Each clue was like a piece of intel, and he’d taken the murder of Mrs. Huntington very seriously. Relying on his instincts, leveraging his experience in decoding complex situations to unravel the layers of the mystery, his logical thinking and ability to tackle every single thread of this one by one had brought structure and organization to their investigative process.

In contrast, you had embraced the game with innate curiosity and unlike him, a childlike interest — like a game should be perceived. As an investigative journalist, he’d seen that you had a natural knack for delving deep into stories and uncovering hidden narratives, embarking on the game with a keen eye for the human element, looking beyond the surface level clues to understand the motivations and emotions of the characters involved. You thrived on the adrenaline rush of piecing together the puzzle, always seeking out the next lead or breakthrough, and brainstorming on the possibilities, which clashed with Leon, leading to a sort of bickering that was entertaining, really. Your inquisitive nature and intuition led you to explore alternative perspectives, constantly questioning assumptions and seeking out overlooked details.

When was the last time he’d had this much fun? Leon didn’t remember.

All that you’d given him that night was a kiss, he hadn’t minded you halting things before the heavy makeout session that had his brain melting like jello could escalate into something more, and he definitely didn’t mind being hypnotized into saying yes for doing this again sometime in the future — when he should have cut things off.

Leon really couldn’t seem to think coherently around you.

And, despite his better judgment, there was a third time. There also was a fourth. A fifth. A sixth. Seventh. Until he forgot it was a matter of numbers and he simply kept seeing you — that was it.

Amidst the unlabeled dates that unfolded between you and Leon, there was an undeniable disparity in your cooking styles. While he considered himself a decent cook, you couldn't help but find his dishes lacking in flavor and spice, often describing them as bland. Nonetheless, there was a silver lining to this culinary discrepancy: Leon's competence in the kitchen ensured that all ten of his fingers remained intact, a feat that seemed elusive whenever you attempted to prepare a meal.

Your culinary misadventures had reached a crescendo one fateful day, as Leon returned home to a scene of chaos. The kitchen lay in disarray, food scattered about, a bloody rag, and a knife ominously present. Heart shooting up to his throat, he practically shouted, "Oh my god, what the hell happened?"

It was then that you revealed your mishap, a deep and severe cut that required stitches. Despite the severity of the injury, you had opted not to seek medical attention to avoid the burden of an exorbitant bill. Unbeknownst to you, Leon possessed exceptional suturing skills, honed through the necessity of tending to his own wounds after the hazards of his missions. He hadn't disclosed this fact of course, but rather emphasized his meticulousness when it came to first aid that he’d taken a course on it in the past.

He kept on boomeranging back to you every time he regretted the previous entanglement the morning after, dreading this was bound to end badly and he should leave you alone. He could… He could get sex elsewhere, he was a dog on a leash because stumbling on physical compatibility on this level had made him an idiot, that must have been it, he thought.

But that wasn’t the issue at all. Nothing had thrown him off and even affected his daily life the way your absence did. It wasn’t craving the skin contact and fantasizing about the next affair that did Leon the damage, it was simply wanting to see you and be by you that even his appetite was lost along the way — he had been scared of what this was. The utter enormity of it made him panic.

In the depths of his soul, a bubbling longing simmered up and up, getting close to the surface the more he deprived himself of you, taking over him with an intensity that defied description. His heart echoed with the fading echoes of your laughter, a melody he yearned to hear once more and came back to him when he least expected it — in the field he could chase away all thoughts and concentrate, but in the waking moments devoid of action, his thoughts collapsed toward you, unable to escape the gravitational pull of your absence. A hunger, primal and unyielding, gnawed at his core, a hunger for the touch of your hand in his hair, the warmth of your embrace, the nightmare-free, cloud-soft sleeps by your side. He’d come to find solace in fragments of memories, savoring the remnants of your presence, like faded polaroids etched in his mind. It was unbelievable to notice the world around him grew muted and colorless, as if drained of life's vibrancy, each passing day intensifying the ache, searing his heart with an inconsolable longing, fueling he urge he kept resisting to bridge the chasm of his own making that separated him and you.

Leon had to accept he liked you despite himself, liked you to the point of no return, and that he was afraid to admit the stronger word.

iii. He couldn’t tell you who he truly was and precisely because of that, couldn’t fully let you in.

Countless reasons came up to defend why this was for the best — it not only protected his heart but also protected you by keeping you at a certain distance from all of this ridiculous baggage…

And he took notice of you noticing and being accepting regardless, settling for whatever you could when you shouldn’t.

He was such a selfish man to keep taking advantage of that to stay however he was able to, a hedgehog’s dilemma.

Leon had managed to find boundaries of your unpredictability and had managed to establish a routine, an ebb and flow of some sorts, entirely dependent on the volatile schedule of his missions that you had no idea of and tried acting nonchalant about — the absences, the bruises, the emotional unavailability after losses he had to keep to himself. He had to be wearing you down, crawling back through the dirt and the blood and the undying monstrosities only to be mute about everything and go straight for your embrace in search of a moment's peace.

And what about you?

The part of himself that was still sane knew he was making you suffer because of his selfishness, stringing you along in this unlabeled affair with the excuse it was with your eventual well-being in mind when it was easier for him — in the sense that if it came to the worst, you’d be able to come out of this on top and just hate and keep blaming him so you wouldn’t be hurt in the long run.

But it was selfish, he still wanted to keep being around you, though, didn’t have the right or face to say he wanted you, so orbiting you was the best he could afford to do.

Just for a little longer. A bit more.

Leon wished you would be done with him and tell him to leave you alone so he could finally get out of your life for good, but in all his returns you welcomed him coming back with open arms. It was the garden of Eden and he didn’t belong there, feeling like a pillager sneaking in and getting whatever he wanted and fucking right off afterwards, each and every time leaving you with less and less and a faded viridescence.

But he couldn’t stay. Not for as long as he wanted. Never in the way you deserved.

And before Leon knew it, he and you had toppled two years of his bullshit — and you were still here throughout it all..

In 2004, the truth of bioterrorism and the existence of monstrous abominations with no regard for human ethics were thrust upon the world, and wiped yet another Raccoon City off from the map of the mediterranean — and things got so much more confusing in regards to what was allowed to be secret or not.

Unbeknownst to you, it was this incident that unknowingly contributed to the growing rift between you. Leon carried the heavy burden of witnessing the President's decision to deny AUPIT’s assistance to the FBC, leaving him as a mere bystander while hundreds of lives were lost due to the incompetence and inexperience of those involved. Even Terrasave, an organization not known for its extraction expertise, fared better in their efforts.

The Terragrigia Panic became a turning point, a catalyst for Leon's introspection, the weight of the world he couldn’t lift one finger to help pressed upon him, driving him towards self-destruction and an ever-deepening spiral of despair, soul scarred by the consequences of inaction and the haunting memories of present lives lost and a past city long in the dust. He questioned the system that bound his hands, preventing him from making the difference he so desperately yearned for. It was during these tumultuous times that you stood by him, unaware of the inner battles he fought and the toll it took on his well-being, and it made him feel so much worse about everything.

His heart trammeled with the inevitable conclusion he could no longer ignore, he made the painful decision to set you free from the grip of his own shortcomings. Overwhelmed by a sense of unworthiness and consumed by his own greed, he knew he had to release you, unable to bear the weight of his own inadequacy any longer.

The timing, eerily close to the anniversary of the day he first met you, held a bitter irony. It was as if fate had conspired to test the limits of his resolve, presenting him with the most challenging mission of his life just as he made this life-altering choice. Bound for Spain, his path was paved with uncertainty, fraught with danger — but he’d sworn that things would be different this time and he could actually return, reformed and squeaky clean, somehow this mission could be his saving grace and actually wipe his brain clean of grime and rust.

The break-up had loomed before Leon like an impending storm, and he had steeled himself for the emotional turbulence that would surely follow, however, what caught him off guard was the resignation from you, as if you had anticipated his intentions and thoughts, ready to release him with open arms — eager to say yes the moment the words would slip out of his mouth.

Devastated would be an understatement to describe him — he’d sat frozen on the kitchen chair, his mind a tempest of confusion and disbelief, the composed and scripted nature of your words waterboarding him as you continued to speak, nonchalantly expressing your expectations of this inevitable departure. You seemed braced, almost as if you had been reading his mind, as if you knew this day would come. The nonchalant manner in which you spoke of his leaving, seemingly devoid of any emotional attachment, tore at his heart. It was like time itself had paused, and Leon felt the dissociation creep in, his mind unable to process the scale of what was happening, the world around him blurring, finding himself lost in a void of numbness. How could it be that you were so ready to let him go? How could you speak of no hard feelings when his heart was shattering into countless fragments?

Yeah, right.

Betrayal was it.

He’d felt betrayed by you when he had no right to be angry like that — because he had warned you right from the start.

You know how this ends.

You’d taken his advice. Leon should have, as well.

iv. It wasn’t only his jacket that’d got taken away by the village freaks, but also the watch you had given him as a gift — which the loss of was more personal and lethal to him.

And he had no time to look for it between saving and taking care of Ashley and trying to navigate a much bigger conspiracy.

Coming to terms with the fact that it was gone, just like you, seemed poetically fitting, a form of karma that he should lose a memento of you when he hadn't proven himself deserving of it in the first place.

At the back of his mind was the memory of you trying to act like it wasn’t for anything special when Leon knew it was the first anniversary of the day you and he met, you just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, walking around eggshells around him with the vaguest boundaries and definitions unspelled so he wouldn’t run away — Leon knew all too well.

He had mentioned going for some type of Casio G-Shock when recounting he’d been meaning to buy a new one, and you’d apparently paid attention to that, not at all questioning why he would want a solar powered watch with 1312 ft. of water resistance — and had given him another much more sporty Longines stainless steel chronograph watch on the side, absolutely humbling him on the spot with just how much money you had to have spent on these two — and the amount of thought you had put into it.

Modifications on both watches were specifically allowed by him, he'd gotten your initials and the Roman symbols of that day in the fall of 2002 engraved at the back of them to deceive himself, interchangeably using them, the Casio one in the missions, and the Longines in casual days, not bothering to buy any other watch for himself after that. You would see him wearing it all the time, but fortunately for his abashed pride, never commented on it, having no idea just how important they were to him.

And it was Ada who casually reunited him with it, her throw of the watch certainly gentler than that of the jet ski key’s, as she was walking away with the Amber, a mysterious, knowing glance in his way, a perfectly shaped smile on her glossy lips. “Here. Consider this an equal exchange. Learn to take better care of special things, Leon.”

Somehow she wasn’t just talking about the watch and it irritated him, but she was right.

v. The depths of Leon's feelings for you were intertwined with an overwhelming sense of terror.

It terrified him to realize how much he needs you, how your presence has become an integral part of his existence, that you were now the surface he swam up to breathe after hours in the dark of the ocean, and the desire for reciprocation, for you to need him just as deeply, and knowing that you do but unable to bring himself to do anything about it, all filled him with longing and apprehension, both holding hands hiding behind the walls of his own making, pulling each other back as they kept watching you from afar.

He feared that he may not be enough for you, that his flaws and past were going to inevitably cause harm and ruin.

The emotions that surged through him when you were near, the way his heart raced and his thoughts became consumed — it was new, it was unknown, it was exhilarating, it was petrifying. The spotlight of the vulnerability he’s put in was a double-edged sword, for it exposed him to the potential for joy, but also, immense pain.

He could lose everything and it would lay waste to his soul, yet in the face of this fear, he couldn’t bear the thought of pushing you away completely, because the terror of being without you somehow had become equally paralyzing that he couldn’t breathe in the PTSD-rooted nightmares of them anymore.

Thus, you had found yourselves trapped in a state of limbo, unsure of where to go or how to proceed, but it was his fault, he thought of himself as a flightless bird sitting up on a roof with you, who could obviously fly; if he attempted to follow you he could fall, if he let you go you would migrate to warmer lands and would never come back. so you were both stuck there, and none of the scenarios involved — what if he could also fly? What if he could do what he thought he wasn’t capable of?

The thought of losing you now, after experiencing the depth of how far he could go with you; the promise, the mirage, the illusion, the dream, was a sense of impending devastation. And yet, he was plagued by the fear that it may already be too late to salvage what he once had with you. What he could have with you, if he allowed himself to surrender —

Leon had changed, he wasn’t the same person, but he also hadn’t changed, hadn’t lost himself no matter the cost, hadn’t strayed from the original path he was treading on — he was capable of saving people, capable of changing the ending.

Spain was as traumatizing as it was eye-opening and life-changing, through the reunion with Ada, the betrayal of Major Krauser, the loss of Luis and the successful extraction of Ashley, one single thread of hope had been holding Leon up and running:

He had to get back to you.

He would come back to you, no matter what, even from the grave, even knowing there was a chance you wouldn’t take him back. To hell with taking comfort in a self-defined ending, to hell with the facade of protecting you when it was just protecting him, to hell with everything.

This time, it had to be different.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s. kennedy x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy smut #quote in the summary belongs to baneofambitions

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theemporium · 6 months

Note

how about 💰with famous!eddie? he could be a rockstar or maybe he’s made it big in the hockey world! whatever creative licenses you want to take is perfect!

maybe something with them having been apart for a little while and just wanting to spoil his girl now that he’s back? fancy dinner and nice music, some good old romance and fluff. <3

- 🦇

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

“Eddie, this is too much.”

“Nonsense.”

“There aren’t even prices on the menu,” you murmured in a hushed voice as you leaned over the table, staring at him with wide eyes. The restaurant was dimly lit and intimate, and far fancier than you could ever imagine choosing—let alone affording. “The food is all written in French!”

“Calme-toi, mon amour,” Eddie grinned back at you, the French passing past his lips with ease. But you guessed after a world tour or two, it would make sense that he would pick up a few phrases in other languages here and there. “Just enjoy it.”

“Ordering a pizza would have been fine too,” you said to him, something in your stomach twisting at the idea that maybe he expected you to want this.

“But then I wouldn’t get to see you in that killer dress, baby,” Eddie retorted. “And that would have been a tragedy.”

Eddie Munson, a joker at heart even if his name was blasted over billboards and stadiums across the world.

Eddie Munson, your dinner date even when he had half the world throwing themselves at his feet of the most renowned rockstar in the music industry today.

He had just finished the North American stint of his tour and he had a gap between he headed down to South America and then Europe. And as much as he begged and pleaded, you couldn’t join him around the country which led to a very needy boy who was desperate to spend every possible moment with you.

But the boy never did anything half-assed. He was never one to flaunt his money or throw it around, but when it came to you? The boy pulled all the stops. He dolled you up a new outfit he bought earlier that day, treated you with more gifts than you could count before dragging you to the fancy restaurant uptown that you couldn’t even afford to step foot in, let alone dine.

But this was Eddie Munson and he wanted to give you the world.

“I would’ve worn it for you at home,” you told him, the words light-hearted but the truth still lacing your voice. “All you had to do was ask.”

His eyes darkened. “That is all I have to do?”

“If you asked nicely, I might’ve even let you pick what I wore underneath,” you teased as you reached for the glass of wine, taking a sip as your gaze caught his over the rim.

“Don’t do this, baby,” Eddie groaned, though there was a smile on his face. “You’re gonna make me ask for the bill before the starters come out.”

You grinned. “Maybe that was a part of my plan.”

He raised his brows. “You have a plan?”

“A girl’s guide to seducing a rockstar,” you told with him a nod of your head. “So far, it’s been working out quite well. I might make the thing my autobiography.”

Eddie’s face broke out into a massive grin and it made your chest feel funny. “If you want a quote, I can happily tell you how effective methods have been.”

“I’ll be sure to mention it in a chapter if I have the space,” you retorted.

Eddie couldn’t help himself as he reached over the table, taking one of your hands in his as he placed a chaste kiss on the back of your palm. “Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you?”

Your cheeks burned. “Eddie—”

“No, I mean it, baby,” he said, the sincerity of his emotions evident in his eyes. “All of it wouldn’t be worth it without you. The fame and the touring and the music—you keep me grounded. You make it easy.”

Your chest tightened as you squeezed his hand. “I wanna keep being that for you.”

“Oh I’m not letting you go anytime soon,” Eddie said with a laugh, placing another kiss on your knuckles. “You’re my inspiration. Which artist gets rid of their muse?”

“An artist that takes their muse to a restaurant where the bread rolls cost more than her rent,” you retorted playfully.

“Yeah, it’s a bit much,” Eddie laughed before giving you a look, a hint of mischief sparkling in his eyes. “What do you say I pay the bill and we ditch this place? Get some pizza on the way back to eat so I can enjoy that dress of yours when we get home.”

“I’d say you’re gonna have to carry me because these heels are killing my feet.”

Eddie grinned. “Anything for my muse.”

#cece's slumblurb party #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fic #eddie munson one shot #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things fic #stranger things one shot

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divinehedons · 9 months

Text

nothing good.

navigation: masterlist

pairing: javier peña x foreign journalist!afab!reader

word count: ~3k

summary: javier peña recounts a tumultuous affair with you, one that while all-consuming, occured only within the span of three meetings.

warnings: this fic contains explicit sex, minors DO NOT interact! p-in-v sex, canon-typical corruption and javi's morbid consumption of cigarettes, angst angst angsty angst.

note: this is a self-indulgent fic written with getaway car on repeat in the background. because of that, i've started singing it as, "javi in the getaway car." i hope you enjoy and thank you so much for the influx of support! reblogs and comments are much appreciated!

"Do you remember how we met, cariño?" he whispers, quickly followed by the sound of a long exhale. A motion so familiar, you could swear you smell the menthols he always smoked; lounged in bed, in the office, after a long day, on the walks you both took.

It was that train of thought that pulls you back to the day you yourself remembered well. The threshold of you and Javi. It was a humid evening, like any other humid evenings you had in Bogota. The racuous night life, ruled mostly by hijinks and crime, and the smell of electricity in the air. You remember the dress you wore that evening. You remember feeling sort-of-nice about yourself.

His version: he was on the lookout for a tip about a syndicate in the city, some loose connection to Escobar with a few boys. You, the helpless, lost, and lovely little lamb who happened to knock on his car window asking if he can help you find your hotel. That he looked like a cop, anyway, so you thought you'd ask. He's met enough of the lost tourists every now and then, although none as pretty or as goddamn fuckable as you were. So of course he drove you back; he flirted tooth and nail to get in your bed, too. He didn't get the collar for the arrest when their target did eventually show up. But he didn't mind it one bit.

Your version of the story varied in some aspects.

Your version: Escobar had lured enough attention to fly you out to Columbia- you, the pretty face that could get through places your colleagues couldn't go to. You got close that evening, even meeting with a local dealer with your bashful eyes and a few drinks at the local watering hole. But the moment he feels up your skirt, you knew you had to get away. So you pretend to go to the restroom, using the nearest payphone to call in a tip, and then climbing up the bathroom window and into the back alley where you slipped away. Five minutes later, you see the typical undercover cop, not as undercover as he thinks he is.

So you decided to save him, knocking on his window with the flirtiest smile on your face. It's easy to know what he wants, with his eyes sneaking glances at the valley of your chest, the curves of your body. It's easy when you lean over to kiss his cheek as thanks.

"I'm Javier, what's your name?" You look over with a small smile and reply with your own.

"Nice to meet you, Javier."

The decision is right there, so you take it. You fuck a cop so you can hide the inklings of suggestions that can expose your doing.

"We fucked that night, didn't we?" You hear him laugh at the other end, your crass wording summarizing the excitement of that evening.

But you did fuck. His moustache nuzzling against the crook of your neck as his cock drives you wide open, your legs on his shoulders, your moans forever echoing within the receses of his brain even when he left you, satiated and reporting back to process the paperwork of the arrest he didn't get to make.

Sometime before that, though, you find out he's more agent than cop. It turns out, men are much more willing to talk when they're fresh post-coitus. He speaks about the American South momentarily, evidently guarded. He cups his hand over the match you lit up, chasing the flame to light a cigarette as he makes his first awkward excuse to get out of your room. You laugh at him, turning over to call for room service as he dresses himself.

"See you never, cowboy."

He thinks of your warm cunt on the long night that follows after. The taste of your wetness would remain in his memory even after the next time he fucked a different girl; an ambitious lady of the night he wanted to recruit as his spy. You'd haunt him as your laughter emanates when the nights are too quiet, trailing before those four words he mutters under his breath when memory hits him too strongly.

See you never, cowboy.

—

From the other end of the line, he mutters something in Spanish, knowing you understand very little. "Fuckin' haunted me like a ghost, baby." Another deep breath, this time followed by the swig of whisky. "Funny thing was, the next time I saw you, you were coming outta prison."

"To be fair, Peña, I was recovering a stolen camera." You laugh too. "And it was a police station."

Ah, that stolen camera. Javier remember the day when he would have knelt before that camera of yours in complete submission for bringing him back in your life.

He had been checking in on Carrillo, a week or so after, planning out the fragments of their next plan of action when he sees you, fuck eyes and all, right at the front desk of the station, flipping frantically through a Spanish-English dictionary in an attempt to try and understand the procedure you were supposed to be doing.

He leaned against the doorway for a moment, finishing the last of his cigarette before chuckling as he exhaled the smoke. "She said you're supposed to fill out the form," he finally said, watching your head turn and recognize his voice as he tips his head slightly. "Did you get into trouble or somethin'?"

It takes a moment for you to collect the form and make your way to him while the officer disappears to retrieve your belongings, a moment before you settle down into the nearest seat beside him with a breathy thanks, searching your bag for a pen. "No, no trouble... My camera got snatched while I was exploring the city. It was empty, but I'm glad it turned up again."

When you finish filling up and handing over the form, he stands beside you, easily translating between you and the officer. An affair that had been going on for half an hour, over and done with barely fifteen minutes since Javi saw you.

He takes the chance before you slip between his fingers again.

"At the risk of being painful turned down by a pretty woman, d'you maybe want to go out tonight?"

You look to him, and he barely catches the glint of hope, maybe even mischief, in your eyes. But you play it along, tilting your head to the side as if weighing your own options. It was a foregone conclusion. You've been thinking about him, too.

"C'mon. I'll show you around like a true local."

You sigh, smiling lightly as you reach for his hand, scribbling the hotel you were at now and the room number.

"Tonight at 8, Javier. I'll be waiting."

Admittedly, you had your own reasons for involving yourself with the agent. Because, in the week beforehand leading up to the robbery of your camera, you knew you were being followed by unsavory company. You knew too much. You talked to too many people. You linked too many powerful people to a much bigger conspiracy.

You understood, most of all, that these men were capitalizing on troubled people battling their own addictions.

You had to get out of the country. You had to get out fast. And when you did, you had to make sure the incriminating photos you had taken were in the hands of someone who wouldn't destroy them.

The evening rolls around and you dress up well, applying the finishing touches of your lipstick when you hear the knock on the door. It's the image of him, leaning against the doorway, with his leather jacket and combed hair, reeking of menthols. It's how you'll always remember him.

"Ready to go, sweetheart?"

You smile at him, slipping on your cardigan while you fiddled with the prints in your pocket. The folded up collection of evidence that could very much have you killed.

"Born ready, agent."

The evening he planned was conventional, albeit the order different. The stereotypical dinner and a movie for him became a movie and then dinner. The reason was logical enough. "Well, that way, I'm sure we have something to talk about over dinner and it's not awkward." You laugh, but you eventually remark it as a smart move.

He takes you to see Indiana Jones, and he flirts hard. He plays off slipping his arm around your shoulder. He plays off pulling you close to him. He plays off sneaking popcorn from your tub. You play it off too. You play off the fact that you could've caught him staring at you for half of the movie. You play off the fact that you eventually lean your head on his shoulder. You even play off the way you hold the hand from the arm he had wrapped around you, pretending you didn't see the way it produced a shit-eating grin to his face.

Javi takes you for empanadas after. letting you talk about how much you enjoyed it, how you crushed on Harrison Ford (He's so smart, isn't he?), and even how you'd never survive such scenarios.

"You worry your head too much, pretty baby."

Somehow, between empanadas and the late night haze, you end up tugging Javier back to your hotel room, giggling like a teenager as you kiss him again, his mouth, where skin was uncovered by his moustache, had turned rouge from your lipstick and the way you kissed each other so hungrily.

He pushes you into the room just as you giggle and tear your cardigan off. "Hm, thank you for tonight, agent," you whisper, pulling him close for another kiss as he shuts the door behind him. He chuckles deeply, thick fingers trapping themselves in your hair as he tugs, forcing you to tilt your head back so he can attack the expanse of your neck.

"So respectful, pretty lady. It's why you're such a good fuck—"

You laugh, fingers reaching blindly to unbutton his shirt, to free him fast enough of his clothes. He's not so patient. He simply grabs and tears your clothes open, a brute show of strength that leaves your head spinning and your knees weak. All of it, happening so fast, until he was fucking you from behind, your hands gripping the headboard as the torrent of desire overtakes you both.

"I'm starting to think you love this cunt, Javier," you moan out, earning a growl from him as he wraps his large left hand around your neck, pulling you back so you arch your back for him. It makes you squeal, moaning into the warm, humid air of the Colombian evening.

"Maybe I do, corazon. What'ya gonna do about it?"

Just then, he thrusts the hardest, spearing you wide open. The sound that comes from you is so heavenly he almost thinks he just heard an angel sing to him.

"That's it. Take it like a good girl..."

It is the image of your face, features induced by an orgasm that he almost started believing again. He, who left a woman on the altar, the eternal betrayer. He, who had fucked his way through the prostitutes of Bogota. He, who looked at every woman from head to toe. He, the eternal womanizer, brought to his knees just by you.

Perhaps that was why fate had brought you into his life. To teach him a lesson he'll never forget.

That time around, he's not tripping over himself to get out of your room, completely basking in the way you look, chest heaving as he retrieves the packet of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. It's that brief distraction that you use, not only to slip the folded up prints in the pocket of his pants in the other end of the room, but to get the camera you just got back, loaded with new film as you take a picture of him with a fresh cigarette between his lips.

The flash that goes off reveals your intentions. "Now, now, you didn't ask if you could do that, pretty baby," he says smoothly, puffing out smoke, letting the tension build between you. You smile cheekily at him, winding the reel forward. It takes a moment, but you recognized it in his eye.

Just as easily, he pounced at you with the renewed beastly strength of a panther, pinning you down and smirking at the sound of your giggling, hair sprawled beneath you as he grabs the same camera, taking a photo of you, laughing and smiling so brightly he would've thought you were the sun.

When your laughter fades, it's when you speak to him. It's as if you could never trick him as you planned to beforehand. "I... I left a few prints in the pocket of your pants."

He pauses, cigarette now halfway done as he raises his brow.

You think, retrospectively, that you recognized the moment the palatable magic between the two of you fades into nothing. That you recognized the moment the dream ended and reality set in.

He stands, smudging out his cigarette as he inspects his pockets. And there it was, the pictures you never meant to see, the pictures that you knew would greatly help the manhunt against Escobar. The path that would lead Peña to fulfill his duty.

"Where—"

"I don't think it matters."

He sends you a glare, turning over to the next print. And then the next, and then the next. "You lost the fuckin' right to tell what does or does not matter." Then, methodically, he folds them up and sets them down on the ruined sheets. "Are you some fuckin' snitch?"

It was your turn to glare, sitting up from where you lay on the floor, hands propping you up behind. "No—" you began, "I do this for a living, Javi."

Perhaps that was when he knew that it was over. He tries not to show it: the sweet shock as sharp as a gunshot wound.

Again and again and again, the same words you said when he first met you echoes in his ears. A warning, he now sees, that he should have listened to when he had the chance.

See you never, cowboy.

—

From then on, it became an administrative affair. You never saw him— but they spent agent after agent organizing your escape from the country without your head getting blown off.

The last time you saw Javier Peña, it was the night the Embassy was driving you to the airport, guised under a different name. Left alone in a small office space, he looks to you like a wounded puppy, betrayed and barely hiding his hurt.

"Is it such a mystery?" you ask him, turning away to pretend to fix your hair in a mirror. Really, all you wanted to do was to stop seeing his puppy-eyed face. Because, you knew too, that one word from him would be enough to make you stay, safety be damned. "You know the place where you first met me. I was always going to leave first."

He scoffs, standing up and walking away.

There were two versions of the last meeting:

Your version: the last thing you saw of him in Bogota was his wide shoulders, turned away from you, walking away and shutting the door to give you some so-called privacy. You grit your teeth, clenching your fists around the letter you wished to give him before you left. You turn around, dropping it into the nearest bin. The conclusion of an affair marked for a messy end. "See you never, cowboy."

His version: you, disappearing into the backseat of an unmarked car. In the early evening, he sees the silhouette of your frame, calmly seated as the car started, driving away into the dark Columbian evening. The shadow of you, riding away in a getaway car. He puffs the last smoke out of his cigarette, dropping it in the ashtray to allow the last embers to burn through whatever was left. Then he turns around, going back to his work without another word said.

He should've known. Nothing good starts in a getaway car.

—

He called you, now months later, when he received an envelope containing only two prints, shipped all the way from another land. The prints made it evident from who he receive the package.

It was the two pictures the second time he fucked you. Moments before everything fell apart and set you flying away like shrapnel.

Bogota, to you, had become a distant memory. A job you did some time ago. If it wasn't for Javier, you would have never remembered the name of the city. Not when the rest of the world was brimming with stories.

Bogota, to him, now only existed with the shadow of you. He catches himself, every now and then, thinking about how you'd enjoy the new movie they released over the weekend. How you'd hold on to his arm and talk his ear off about the things he found interesting. How the beds he found himself laying on contained the ghost of your perfume.

So he buried himself in work. And then slowly, he fucked other people just to find traces of you in their willing bodies and dark rooms. It was never the same. And he's starting to think it'll never be the same.

Having recounted everything, the two of you listen to each other's breaths, not caring for how expensive such a call was going to be.

"So..." you tried to start, clearing your throat. "Why did you call?"

He thinks about it himself for a moment. He swallows once. Then another time.

"You know, if you asked, I would have shared my life with you."

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