Tumgik
#source: tik tok
incorrectquotesmcu · 1 month
Text
Kate, about Y/N: I just really like them and I don’t know what to say to them.
Sam: Just go up to them.
Kate: What? Just say anything?
Sam: Just say anything.
Kate: Okay.
Kate: [goes up to Y/N]
Kate: Your ass makes me forget about my mother in jail.
Y/N: ???
507 notes · View notes
Text
Leo: What did you get Mikey for his birthday?
Donnie: I got him a kitten.
Leo: Really? Me too!
April: I also got him a cat!
Raph: Looks like we had the same idea.
Donnie: Casey, please tell me you didn’t get Mikey a cat as well.
Casey: I got him a kitten!
[cuts to Mikey surrounded by cats]
Mikey: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!
439 notes · View notes
loserdiaz · 2 months
Text
eddie after buck's done something very stupid: baby i love you so much
buck: love you too :)
eddie: but you have a very special talent of finding my last fucking nerve and tap dancing on it
350 notes · View notes
incorrect-spiderverse · 9 months
Text
 Enemies make Hobie read their demands in front of a camera:
Hobie: "Hello, my name is Hobie. I have been kidnapped…"
Kidnapper: *points gun at Hobie*
Hobie: *pushing the man away* "Can you stop pointing the gun at me? It’s fucking annoying"
Kidnapper: *kind of confused and scared*
...
 Hobie: "To ensure my safe return home please pay us one million pounds…"
Hobie: "Wait … One million pounds?" *glares at the men*
Kidnapper: "… ?"
Hobie: "Is that fucking it? Is that what you think I’m worth? No, I’m not havin' that. That’s fucking ridiculous… "
Hobie: *stands up to leave* "That’s insulting!"
Kidnapper: "...What the hell?"
...
Hobie: "To ensure my safe return home please pay us five hundred million pounds."
Kidnapper: "…"
Hobie: "Now! Thats more like it!"
...
Hobie, while walking around the hide out: "What a shithole! You guys could really tidy up more here."
Kidnapper: "Wait... what?! Where are your handcuffs?"
Hobie: "Got them off. They were too loose"
...
Hobie: "So, what made you chose me out of all those spideys? It’s my attitude, right? Tell me I am right. Oh, I am so right."
Kidnapper: "Can’t you shut up for a second?!"
Hobie: *offended* "No need to be rude! Just making some small talk! "
Kidnapper: *ponders all his decisions in life*
...
 Kidnapper: "We didn’t get the money! You are going to die now!"
Hobie: "Gentleman! Let’s be civil about this! Let’s make a deal. You surrender and you won’t get hurt. How does that sound?"
Kidnapper: "And how do you intend to hurt us?"
Hobie: *being innocent* "No! No! I can’t hurt you"
Kidnapper: "…?"
Hobie: "But my team can. Say hi!"
Miles, Gwen, and Pavitr: *barges in and webs everyone up*
Hobie: "You should have accepted the deal mate"
...
 *On the way back to the Spidey base*
Hobie: "Took you a lot bloody longer than I have thought to save my ass…"
Miles: "What the hell? You needed no one to save you. You could have taken them out hours ago!"
Pavitr: "We waited. Looked like you were having fun"
Hobie: "Awww cheers for that. I did have fun!"
Gwen: "I'm so done with all of you"
665 notes · View notes
zootopiathingz · 25 days
Text
Vaggie: what did you get Charlie for her birthday?
Angel: I got her a cat.
Vaggie: wait, really? Me too.
Sir Pentious: I alssso got her a cat!
Husk: me too.
Alastor: looks like we all had the same idea!
Vaggie: Niffty, please tell me you didn’t get Charlie a cat as well.
Niffty: I got her a cat!
*cut to Charlie surrounded by cats*
Charlie: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!
133 notes · View notes
tf2incorrectquotes · 6 months
Text
Ms Pauling: How is it that you could singlehandedly snap a man in half like a trig, but your boyfriend is the terrifying one?
Heavy: *soppily* I know, I'm so lucky...
159 notes · View notes
doththymayo · 28 days
Text
Davey: What's in the bottle?
Racetrack: It's just water.
Davey: Let me see that. *takes a sip from the bottle and spits it out*
Davey: Race, that is wine!
Racetrack: Praise the Lord, Jesus has done it again!
90 notes · View notes
Text
Pomni: How do you manage to stay so positive?
Wally: Delusion.
63 notes · View notes
caslutz · 2 months
Text
Jamie: Can I make you some tea?
Keeley: Uh yeah, sure.
Jamie: Alright we have… green tea, detox, and uh— cha-ma-ma-lay
Keeley: …what did you call it?
Jamie: cha-ma-ma-lay.
Keeley:
Keeley: It’s chamomile.
Jamie:
Jamie: wait— WAIT.
Keeley: I texted Roy!
Jamie: NOO!!
66 notes · View notes
stardust948 · 9 months
Text
Hobie: Where are your ears, love?
Mayday: Right here!
Hobie: Good job! Can you cover them like this? *covers his ears*
Mayday, giggling: *covers her ears*
Hobie: Brilliant! Now...
Hobie: *cusses out Miguel with the filthiest mouth possible*
351 notes · View notes
selfship-quotes · 3 months
Text
S/I: I was pretty sure you'd sleep in and forget to meet me this morning.
F/O: Wouldn't have forgotten if I was sleeping WITH you.
S/I: But look at this-
S/I: JESUS...
S/I: Look at this outfit.
70 notes · View notes
incorrectquotesmcu · 30 days
Text
Kate: What did you get Yelena for her birthday?
Y/N: I got her a dog.
Kate: Really? Me too!
Sam: I also got her a dog!
Bucky: Looks like we had the same idea.
Y/N: Scott, please tell me you didn’t get Yelena a dog as well.
Scott: I got her a dog!
[cuts to Yelena surrounded by dogs]
Yelena: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!
1K notes · View notes
Text
Splinter: God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
Leo: WHEN DID I SIGN UP FOR THE WAR?! WHEN DID I ENLIST?!
468 notes · View notes
Text
Dazai: It wasn't enough my man has beautiful eyes, he just had to go frame em too.
Kunikida: bright red
43 notes · View notes
Text
MJ: *to 5-month-old Mayday* "Mommy’s going to drop kick anyone that touches you."
Peter B Parker: "And Daddy’s going to bail Mummy out of jail."
97 notes · View notes
bruciemilf · 1 year
Text
Bruce: Some of you, - I don't want to name names, -- give me really bad heart attacks when they go on patrol alone, and it makes me--
Jason: is it me?
Bruce: No
Dick: is it me?
Bruce:... It's not Jason
438 notes · View notes