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#source: he didn't say that meme
blindedguilt · 2 years
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Emotion Meme - Leonard (DOD1)
◈ ANGER.   jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, passive aggressive, direct physical outbursts, verbal outbursts. //
◈  JOY.  easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy.
◈  SADNESS.  crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates & processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better. //
◈  EMBARRASSMENT / SHAME.  blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks  ->  lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate. //
◈ GUILT.  avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, overactive guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt / conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others. //  
◈ FEAR / ANXIETY.   trembling, crying, sarcasm / sass to cope, rambles, goes silent, gets angry, fidgeting, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewelry / clothing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, overreacts  OR  underreacts, calm, logical, panicked, irrational, overthinks  ->  carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight  ->  fight, withdraw, fawn. //
Tagged by: I stole it from @glorytomankind lmaoooo I tag: @voicelesshatred, any of the chaps at @etgloria (And/or @booksofthelibrary/@amorfati-rp if you’re up for it!!), @lacrimedelleroina, @innsmaw, and @laplacemail. If you see this and you wanna do it, please, by all means~ (I know there were a couple poor souls Tumblr wouldn’t let me tag beyond this, so... lmao)
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causeimhappinesss · 1 year
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On his backseat (Joel Miller x reader)
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Warning: smut, age gap (reader in her 20s), unprotected sex, slight breeding kink + wrap your biscuit, please
Disclaimer: English isn't my native language (I'm french), so you can correct me if you spot some mistakes :)
Bonus: a meme at the end
*
All day long, a crazy tension had built up between you and Joel, at first for a silly little thing, but he refused to agree with you, when you were absolutely right. Then, the tension had built up so much between the two of you, that it had metamorphosed and soon, the older man's hands had been wandering, though discreet.
“I'm going to go. I'm leaving you and don't kill each other!” Ellie joked.
With these words, she slammed the door of the car you had repaired and leaved the garage you had just entered. You would even say that she was running away from you, undoubtedly uncomfortable because of the tension that had gradually built up in the car, but which she probably didn't imagine would be sexual. From time to time, when Ellie was reading one of his comics, he had kept his hand on your thigh, which he stroked, knowing what effect it had on you. She had preferred to leave as soon as possible and give you time to explain yourself with Miller, while she rested in the house where you had taken up residence for two days, the time to search this cute town from top to bottom. Once she was inside the mansion, you turned your attention to your lover... Of course, Ellie didn't know the true nature of your relationship: friend by day, sexfriend by night.
"Well... would it kill you to admit I was right about that damn alarm?"
"You weren't right. We should have been more careful..." he growled.
"Oh yeah, sure, and spend three hours on an alarm system to disconnect it, when it doesn't even take us ten minutes to get all the weapons back." you retorted, sarcastically.
Miller grumbled, but the sound of it brought a smile to your face, because the old man always made you laugh one way or another. Then he met your eyes and a glint of mischief flashed in his eyes. You slid a hand over his chest and felt his heartbeat under your palm; a sensation you'll never forget. His lips parted, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes to know the moment. Your fingers slid over his warm skin in gentle caresses as you admired the masculine beauty of his body. Then your phalanges slid lower and traced the contours of his abs. A sigh escaped from his lips, which pushed you to unbuckle his seat belt, then the one holding his pants, which you made fall. Its excitation was felt, a bump formed in its boxer, that you touched with malice, before releasing it from this confined space.
A wave of heat ran through you as you wrapped your hand around his member, feeling the velvety texture of his skin. You began slow and gentle back and forth movements, under the spell of the intensity present in his eyes. Joel gasped, so that his hands clutched your hips as you increased the pressure in my movements. Your free hand explored the skin of his chest, then his thighs, until you felt his breath catch. You peppered him with kisses until his desire stretched like a bow.
"Baby..." he growled, sliding a hand into your hairline.
Your heart pounded against your rib cage as you knelt on the car seat, staring at your partner. Your fingers kept on caressing him skillfully, being the source of the accumulation of pleasure in his belly. Slight grunts broke through the barrier of his lips and made your hair stand on end. God knows how beautiful he was, that expression of desire portrayed on his face, eyebrows furrowed, sweat beading his gray brows. Again, you stared at his body, admiring his chiseled abs and broad chest, before lingering on the throbbing erection before you. Then, you wrapped his length in your wet mouth. You felt him harden further and moan in response to your movements, so much so that his hips undulated. Your tongue ran along his member, while your lips worked their magic around him. His hands tangled in your hair as you titillated him, encouraging his pleasure, so that he struggled to contain himself. Your tongue played with his red tip and his whole member throbbed in your mouth, as if he was already approaching orgasm. Yet you knew Joel wouldn't accept such a thing; he was always holding back to make you cum first.
"Fuck... You're going to drive me crazy..."
Soon, you could no longer contain your desire and you gave in to your desires. You climbed onto his thighs and felt the heat radiate between your boiling bodies. You undulated your hips over his boner and placed kisses on his neck, before you rubbed yourself on one of his muscular thighs. Your movements became frantic and desperate, as if the world was about to end another time.
The warm night air washed over your skin, but the coolness inside the car was gentle. Your heart was pounding, a delicious mixture of desire and fear... The fear of getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Joel wrapped his strong arms around your waist and pressed his lips to your neck. You moaned softly, your body aching deliciously from his touch. Your hands clutched at his shirt, pulling him to feel his body closer to yours. His lips follow yours in a fiery kiss. Electric sparks flew through you with each touch and caress.
Dizzy with desire, you pulled him into the backseat. His hands peeled away layers of you as you mimicked him between feverish kisses. Soon you were naked, on your knees, with your butt against him, giving him a magnificent view of your pussy. With his experienced fingers, he teased your clitoris, with which he played, while stroking your breasts. You were already wet and ready for him, but you felt no shame. Sex was one of the pleasures still present on this earth, especially when you were on the road like you. And your body knew full well that you were meant to fuck with him, it worked so well between the two of you... The pleasure climbed and your first moans of pleasure echoed through the cabin, as your fingers gripped the fabric of the backseat.
"Joel..."
He also knew what rhythm to take with your clit; he was playing with your emotions and your body. When he felt you on the verge of orgasm, he stopped and you squealed. Before you knew it, his warm tongue slid along your labia, drawing the contours of your clitoris, then one of his fingers brushed the entrance to your vagina. Another moan of pleasure forced its way through your lips and you nearly collapsed forward, but her strong arms held your thighs back.
"You taste like honey... I could eat your pussy all night..."
Your heart was pounding, banging against your ribcage violently, so you were begging him to make you reach nirvana. Without delay, the orgasm hit you full force, your legs shook and the euphoria poured into your veins in the form of powerful waves of shivers.
Then, with his hands on your hips, his cock pushed into you, drawing a moan of pleasure from you as he grunted. You were so tight and hot that he threw his head back for two seconds, his jaw clenched, and then he watched your two sexes joined together; an erotic sight that made him shudder. It was as if your pussy had been molded for his thick, long cock. A perfection he relished and enjoyed as often as possible. Finally, he moved inside you, a touch that filled you with more desire, made you quiver and tremble. Nothing else mattered at that moment; just you and the sweet union of your bodies. Your bodies moved together in perfect rhythm, the sound of your labored breaths filling the air of the car. The sound of wet skin slapping accompanied your song of pleasure, which you tried to restrain, to avoid Ellie from hearing you, just in case.
"Oh shit... Joel... Don't stop..."
"I don't plan on stopping..." he whispered in your ear, in a suave voice.
You held on to this moment and let his love consume you in your wholeness. You were enjoying the moment, knowing that it won't last forever. For now, you were loving the delicious sensation he was producing in your lower abdomen. His powerful hands, anchored on your waist, drew you closer to him, your back against his chest, in a carnal embrace.
Without ever ceasing his sinful movements inside me, his lips traveled the delicate skin of your neck, your faces illuminated by the moonlight, resulting in a romantic and intimate atmosphere...
"Fill me up... Don't pull out..." you moaned.
"Oh God..." he growled. He was aware that cumming inside you was a bad idea, it wasn't like you were taking birth control, but the idea of his cum filling your hot, wet pussy amplified his pleasure. He was already picturing you with a nice round belly once you got back to Tommy's.
The excitement of getting caught fed the burning fire in your veins. You made the moment last as long as possible, until you both climaxed with moans. Your pussy pulsed around his thick cock and milk him dry. Your heart was pounding, beads of sweat ran down your skin and you were shaking. His seed spilled into you as his hot breath rushed down your neck.
*
Sorry, Ellie... For the backseat you're gonna spend another bunch of hours on.
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My Ko-fi: betrayedwriter
My AO3: BetrayedWriter
My Instagram: carolinemertz_
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saintescuderia · 20 days
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pancakes (pt. 3)
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AKA - the story of how the naive australian rookie befriended the gym junkie F1 hospitality worker with the shoe collection - and inadvertently broke the grid's most treasured and unspoken rule: you don't go for y/n.
series masterlist here :)
A/N: don't come for me. i love daniel. it's all for plot. (also, if the timeline seems odd it’s bc creative liberties have been taken 😌)
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P3 - stairmaster endurance
As you walked down the steps to the Drivers Gala in your stunning red dress, you were unaware how one Ferrari driver couldn’t take his eyes off you. Looking at you smiling elegantly to one of the reps who greeted you, Charles realised just how much of a mistake he had made. Carlos was at his side, saying something that was back ground noise. All Charles could focus on was you. Your flowing hair, your eyes glinting in the light as you smiled your beautiful smile at whoever was talking to you. You always spoke with such passion. Charles always loved that about you. He would always love every little thing about you—
The alarm went off. 
You blinked and stopped the timer notification that essentially shook you out of the deep rabbit hole of F1 fanfiction you had found yourself falling into. Closing the purple app, you wondered why you still remained on Tumblr even after the 2013 hype of it died and everyone shifted to Twitter. Let alone the fact that your Tumblr had become your closeted way to fangirl about the sport you had dedicated your life to.
Then again, what were you to expect? The algorithm clearly picked up on your interests. That or the government was listening in and knew that Formula 1 was your day-to-day. That would explain how, one day, you were simply scrolling through the random, niche memes and BAM! You were met with the completely random gif-set of Arthur Leclerc and Oscar Piastri sat in an interview for Prema. 
It had caught you off guard, seeing that come up on your phone screen. It had also been a while since you had seen Arthur. For the whole duration of that single and endless moment, you didn't know how to react.
So your thumb double tapped the screen.
And maybe it was your fault for liking it, for encouraging the algorithm. But you could’t help but smile at the gif of Arthur confident and proud of his 18 hour screen time. That boy had no filter and never gave a fuck about the social norm. That and he often just didn’t read the room. Even after all these years, and his climb up the motorsport ladders, that youthful element about him had remained. It made you smile. You always liked that about him.
However, with that gif-set came more stuff. Innocent stuff. More F2 bits - you really missed those boys - and then everything else. Funny bits of Max at Red Bull. Carlos and Lando. All the Guenther Steiner moments. It was a little weird to be liking gifs of a team principal, you were well aware, but if anything it just made you feel proud of how far the German-Italian had come.
Back in the old Red Bull days, Guenther would always tell you about his dreams of directing his own team. It was nice to see him finally achieve that. It was also an endless source of amusement for you.
For example: the day Kevin had shattered the door.
When it happened, though, it was definitely not a laughing matter. You had been just finishing up the lunch service at the Haas motorhome - making sure to pack up some food for the drivers and mechanics who still were in a meeting - when you had heard the loud noise. Mack, the sous-chef, had stopped and looked at you with wide eyes.
You had both exited the kitchen to walk out to the main space of the motorhome and see other Haas employees equally as confused and whispering. Not getting a clear answer, you patted Mack on the shoulder and returned to the kitchen to finish plating up Kevin and Romain’s lunch for later. 
Fifteen minutes later, however, and you had gotten your answer when Guenther stormed into the kitchen fuming. “He does not slam my fucking office door! What am I going to do? Call Gene and tell him his drivers are some fucking idiot babies?!”
You had simply stared at him, blinkingly.
Guenther had then spied a plate of food sitting on the bench. “That fucking driver doesn’t deserve any of your fucking food!” And he picked the plate and dumped plate with its contents in the bin.  
“Guenther," you had began in a calm voice, "that was my lunch. Kevin’s plate is in the fridge.”
“Well eat his fucking food! Or—" Guenther reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit card and slammed it onto the table in front of you. “Go to a fucking five star hotel and have lunch there on that fucking idiot baby's pay.”
And the two of you had actually done so.
Even after he calmed down, Guenther had been adamant to take you to lunch which, admittedly, wasn't the most odd thing ever. Guenther was removed enough from all the driver drama and you had known him a for long time. You were the reason he had helped in the debut in 2016 anyway.
Still, no matter how Guenther Guenther was, Kevin was still a driver. You knew how it might look.
Said driver, however, had thankfully just dismissed it when you offered to pay him back. "Make me those mini pizzas next time you're with us and we're good."
And so when you clocked on this morning to see you were covering Haas, you immediately smiled and went to make good on your promise to K-Mag.
You always loved working in the Haas motorhome. If only half the stuff you saw Guenther did and said ended up in gif-sets on Tumblr.
Pushing yourself off the stool, you pocketed your phone and grabbed the oven mitts to pull out the mini pizzas. You had made extra for the engineers since there was an issue with Nico’s PU and knew they would be up late working on the engine. It wasn’t a secret that your pizzas were a coveted snack, being low-carb and high protein enough for even the drivers to consume. You were half expecting Fred Vasseur to pop in and steal some. He did love these pizzas. Any time you were stationed at Alfa Romeo, it was a guarantee you would be making them at his request.
Though, now Fred was moving to Ferrari. So you weren't sure if he was still going to be nice to you. Mattia Binotto had always treated you like the fucking plague.
"Ah, Y/N. For fuck's sake!" You heard the German accent and felt your mouth curve up into a smile as Guenther arrived on scene. He was dressed in the Haas gear for 2023, lanyard around his neck. "You still here running the coffee when you can beat any of these idiots in the car."
You gave him a fake two finger salute. "If I drove, no one would stand a chance."
"Well maybe you could help us score some fucking points." Guenther said. Immediately, he got down to business. "Harry Kane did well last night. Scored two fucking goals."
You snorted. One of the many reasons you and Guenther bonded so well was that you one of the few people amongst this Paddock that took football seriously. Almost as seriously as Formula 1. Almost.
"Didn't see it." You said, shaking your head. Bundesliga was lower on your list of priorities when it came to games. You only paid attention to the German league when it came to teams making it into Champions League. Besides, Guenther should’ve known what game you were watching last night. Still, you reminded him. "The Reds were playing."
He rolled his eyes, though unsurprised. "Of course you're going to watch English fucking football."
"Hey, only because of Salah.” You reminded him and hit your chest proudly, “I gotta represent."
"That much is fucking obvious." Guenther said. One of the many reasons you liked working in Haas so much was that it was by far the most relaxed garage out of them all. For example, you hadn't yet taken off the hoodie you wore which had, on top, the number 10 Liverpool jersey. It looked unprofessional, having a t-shirt over a jumper like that, especially mixed with the headscarf you had tied on your head like a durag, but Guenther couldn’t care less. If anything, he was probably just offended at your choice of EPL team.
“United is fucking Red.”
"Ah, Guenther. You know my heart really lies." You reminded him.
Your uncle, a Spanish man, had brought you up following the iconic Real Madrid. He literally visited the hospital with a teddy bear and Bernabeu membership, adamant he would get his newborn niece into the sport. No matter what.
From the moment he found out your number one team, Guenther was salty. “Los Blancos.” He scoffed. “The fucking villains of football." He came round to see the circular pieces of bread covered with sauce and an array of different toppings. Guenther picked one up - and immediately dropped it. "Fuck!"
"It's hot." You said, dryly. You took out another tray and set it down. You closed the oven door and turned it off. You flipped the towel over your shoulder as you watched Guenther now at the sink, running water over his burnt fingers.
"You don't fucking say." Guenther blowing on his fingers.
“Stop being a baby.” You laughed, bringing up your hands to your head to fix your headscarf.
Guenther ignored that comment. "Fred fucking loves these things. Don't tell him you made them. I don't want him in here stealing them."
You said nothing and turned around to pretend to busy yourself with the trays of mini pizzas. It was best to just remain quiet sometimes. Bahrain testing had kept everyone occupied and at that start of the season F1 Hospitality were usually running around after Stefano Domenicali and the FIA Co. for last minute set up. It was only into the race calendar that Hospitality were eventually went around to the teams.
So, no. You hadn't seen Fred. You hadn't seen anyone. You were just grateful that your first race of 2023 was in the safety of Haas. Nico and Kevin were older and, therefore, a little more out of it when it came to driver drama. If they knew anything, they were old enough to be mature about it.
Though, that couldn't be the same of others from their generation. You were already losing sleep from the feelings that arose from seeing Daniel in Red Bull gear. It didn't help that the last time you two had spoken, things hadn't exactly been civil.
-
You were on the stair-master. The clock on the machine read 37:48. The sweat was dripping off you.
Your grey jumper had darkened in shades, wet from the sweat. You kept your hands on your head as you stepped and stepped and stepped and stepped. Angsty rap music blasted into your ears. Tinnitus was likely to worsen, but you would take that over the shit storm that was currently breaking all over the Paddock. 
I understand that, without my agreement, Alpine F1 have put out a press statement late this afternoon that I am driving for them next year. This is wrong and I have not signed a contract for Alpine for 2023. I will not be driving for Alpine next year. 
Oscar hadn’t even yet joined Formula 1 and he was already stirring trouble. That was a problem. For you. You were supposed to lay low. The whole point of this was to lay low and not drawing any attention to yourself. The agreement was that you could still be there if only in the role of Hospitality. 
And the idiot had tweeted that and then, ten minutes later, decided to follow you.
How he even found your Twitter was surprising? It wasn’t very personal - your profile picture was solid black - so no fans would be able to recognise you. But the Paddock? The FIA and your bosses? They were raising confused eyebrows that Oscar Piastri would drop that bomb and then follow you.
You could already imagine what Otmar was going to say. God, the 2023 season hadn’t fully started and you were already dreading walking into the Alpine home. And then Jos Verstappen was rumoured to be attending more races this year and who could forget about Daniel coming back to Red Bull? The universe apparently needed to give you some character development, it seemed.
Your legs ached, begging to stop. Your mind thought about pressing the red emergency button, to just end it. But you knew better. You knew this was all a mind game. Pain is an allusion. Keep going. Shit hurts but you push through. Keep going. Keep going. Keep fucking going. It's what you always told yourself. It's how you got yourself through everything. It's how you'll get through all of this. If you can push through the pain of the stairmaster, then you can push through the pain of anything. You had learned that pain was temporary and it was just a mind-game. You could always go longer than you thought possible. You just had to keep reminding yourself of that fact. So, right now, it was just practice. Each step you took right now was practicing the endurance of pain from this stairmaster fucking filling your legs. If you could get through this, you would be able to handle any drama in the future.
Unfortunately, drama walked through the door before you could make it through the current pain of said stairmaster.
Daniel Ricciardo stormed into the Driver’s Only Gym, knowing all too well that this was where you would be. He had been the one to tell you about this fucking place in the first place. Before everything, you had always loved working out and exercise was part of the reason you two ended up as you did. Now, you didn’t have the luxury you did before. You didn’t have the lanyard.
So, now, you had to workout in the shadows.
That didn't mean Daniel didn't see you. Didn't hear you. Didn't know what you were doing every single day of every weekend the both of you avoided each other at the Paddock. He knew you still wore your sneakers according to the race location. He knew you still wore headscarves when in the Middle East and covered your tattoos when in Japan. He knew you still avoided Charles just he like he knew you still avoided him. He knew you.
So Daniel knew you woke up at 4am every day to work out. And after Zak Brown told him the news, he spent the night dealing with his spiralling career through a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then he had the idea to come out from the four walls of his hotel room and see you.
Because Daniel knew you had made your pancakes for the rookie, that fucking Oscar Piastri. And Daniel was one of the few people who knew, who fully understood just what that meant to you.
Drunk and emotional, Daniel planted himself right in front of the stair master. He stared at you, caught like a deer in headlights and got right to it.
“You must be fucking happy.”
It was the first time he had directly spoken to you in five years.
So it took you a second to process what was happening.
Daniel Ricciardo was right here, in front of you, at 4:50 in the morning as you sweated your body weight out through the repeated steps you took on the machine.
Suddenly you were aware that you had rolled yourself out of bed with a little less motivation than the norm. You had been extra tired, hitting snooze more than twice. You hadn’t washed your face and you wondered if Daniel would be able to spot the stain of egg yolk on your hoodie. It had been some time since he had been this close to you and you were in bike shorts and currently on a bulk. Suddenly, you wished you were on a cut. Why did the one time he came this close to you had to be so big and puffy?
"Excuse me?" You found yourself saying, shifting one headphone off your ear. “Can I help you?”
"Did you know?" Daniel asked. He didn't give you a chance to respond. "Of course you fucking did."
Without even thinking, you pulled the red plug your mind had obsessed over and jumped down. The pain was already here so there was no point going through any more than necessary. You looked up at Daniel, panting. He, too, was exhaling a little heavier than normal. Too angry and, judging by the smell of his breath, drunk to be stable.
There was no point lying to him. Aside from the fact that Daniel was emotionally charged (and drunk - and he got super passionate when he was drunk) you knew he would immediately pick up on it. You don't spend three years with someone and not know them like the back of your hand. And, unlike him, you can safely say that you hadn't really changed since 2018. If you lied, he would know.
"I signed a NDA, Daniel." You said simply, walking to your gym bag sat on the red bench. You picked up your bottle to take a sip, your throat dry. You tried to keep yourself calm and not shaky. Do my legs look too big? God, Please don’t let me smell like BO. Your thoughts were still running rampant. Despite the extensive cardio, your body was buzzing from the anxiety of having Daniel so close.
Daniel. To think you had once been so deeply in love with the man stood before you.
"Fuck off." He spat. You recoiled. "No one gives a shit about that."
"I do." You said, trying to keep your voice from growing small. "Sorry I care about my job."
Daniel let out a sardonic laugh. You braced yourself, knowing what was to come. You had experienced this many times before during your fights. "What? Making coffee and fucking washing the dishes? Yeah, great job you got there, babe."
"Don't call me babe." You spat back. "And can you not be a dick for two fucking seconds, Daniel."
You said it. His name. When was the last time you had said it? It made you both take a second to process what was happening, to acknowledge how long it had been since the two of you had actually spoken to one another, how long since you had addressed the other as a human being that actually existed.
In that moment, Daniel finally seemed to lose a bit of anger and, instead, show a glimmer of vulnerability. "I lost my seat. I don't know what I'm going to do."
You looked down at your shoes at show of helplessness. New Balance 350s. Red and yellow. They had been on sale. You liked them for stable LISS circuits but hated the colour way. Now, they were the most interesting thing to look at.
Everyone knew that Daniel Ricciardo was always all smiles and that, no matter what, he was optimistic. Happy. He never showed any weakness.
Except, you had seen him when the smiles fell away and the laughter died. In the safety of your private hotel rooms and Daniel could just be, you saw him vulnerable, you saw him hurt, you saw him stress, worry, cry, swear and be open to how he was really feeling. Like right now.
“Daniel I—“
"You didn’t even think to fucking tell me."
You looked up at the change of tone and how he was frowning-- no, sneering at you. This made you change and any remorse, any pity, you felt for the man in front of you immediately vanished. You weren’t in a hotel room. You were in the gym. And it had been five fucking years.
"Are you fucking blaming me right now?"You snapped back. "What the fuck do I owe you, exactly?"
"I’m the reason you’re here!"
By now, your heart was racing. And not from the exercise. This, this was it. You finally had your moment to say it.
"Yes, exactly, Daniel. You’re the reason that I am, as you said, making coffee and fucking washing the dishes! If it weren’t for you, we both know where I would be right now. But you got fucking scared of Max and blamed me for it!"
This hit a nerve. "I was not scared of Max! I outperformed Max!"
"Yes, on the weeks I fucking trained you!"
"Fuck me,” Daniel was shooting straight daggers at you despite the wry grin on his face, “do you really think that was all you?" 
You put your hands on your hips and squared up to meet his eyes, narrowing your own. "Considering how your teammate took me on as a trainer and then became the number 1 driver, yes, I will take some fucking credit for that." Daniel's face dropped when you said it. And you knew it was a low blow, but you couldn't help the words before they tumbled out from your mouth. "The world’s fucking moved on from Monaco 2018. Maybe you should too."
"Fuck you!" He shouted.
"Fuck you!" You shouted back. You grabbed your phone and found yourself tapping onto a recent chat and speedily composing a text. You hated how your fingers shook. You also hated how you were texting for help.
"Well, clearly you haven’t moved on from Monaco if you’re bringing it up." Daniel said, no longer shouting, but his tone still as icily. "You’re going to be mad about that until the end of time?"
You closed your eyes and willed your eyes not to think of the image of him with her, the pain you felt walking in and seeing that. Instead, you opened your eyes and stared him dead in the eye and spoke as calmly as possible.
"Jos Verstappen will be coming to the races more often this year. That means I won't be able to work in the Red Bull garage. If I'm at AlphaTauri, do not fucking come."
Daniel ignored this, undeterred. Instead, he kept grinning down at you thinking he found something. "You seriously aren't over it, are you?"
"No, the memory of you putting your dick into another woman still keeps me up at night." You rolled your eyes despite how it still did admittedly hurt. You pretended it didn’t and hoped he believed it. "Please stop thinking so highly of yourself. Remind yourself of why you're here, right now, talking to me."
Daniel's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say something but the sound of the doors opening had him closing it. You grabbed your gym bag and finally made a move to turn around and escape the gym.
Ignoring the looks of one very confused Carlos Sainz as you breezed past him.
-
"I have to go deal with idiots who can’t tell me what’s wrong with the engine." Guenther said. You had brought forth two plates and slide two pizzas onto each.
"Here. For you and Nico." You said, knowing Nico would join the meeting about his car. "I'll bring a tray in a little bit for the rest of the engineers."
"Make me and Nico some coffee, please." Guenther said, taking the plates. "And pour in some fucking whiskey." You laughed and watched him disappear down the hallway of the offices set up. Haas' lack of financial support meant their motorhome was mediocre at best. Still, you loved being here more than anywhere else. It was the safest, really.
Wiping your hands on the towel, you went outside to where the coffee cart was situated. Another example of Haas' lack of funding was needing a Formula One coffee cart and not having an in house machine like everyone else did. You went about preparing the coffees like how you knew Nico and Guenther liked - as well as making yourself one while you were at it.
"No Real Madrid today?"
You found yourself jumping at the familiar Spanish lilt of the other Ferrari driver. Carlos Sainz was someone you never really paid any close attention to. He wasn't close enough to either Daniel or Charles' circles to ever have been on your radar. He had left Red Bull before you did and since he was Ferrari associated, it meant you never really had much to do with him.
Still, he was pleasant and nice. He always had been. He was one of those drivers that if word had spread to him - and it was very likely that it had - he didn't show it. Or care enough about it. Any time Carlos saw you around the Paddock, it was with a warm smile and a quick small-talk question about your thoughts on Real Madrid's latest match. But that was really ever it.
Until that time he had walked in at 5am to see you and Daniel Ricciardo screaming at each other.
"Uh, no. Liverpool was playing yesterday." You said, wondering if he knew you also cared about the Scouse team. Admittedly, you didn’t have the same love for them as you did for the Spanish legends, but you couldn’t have Egyptian heritage and not care about Mo Salah.
"You're Egyptian, no?" He asked. You focused on frothing the milk, unable to really look him in the eyes so soon after this morning.
"Yes." It was there in the mix, yes, but you really weren't up for explaining the complicated heritage of your ethnicity this morning. Looking at the milk circling in the silver jug, you realised your face was heating up. You were slightly surprised he even knew you were Egyptian in the first place. Unlike with Guenther or the splattering of other football fans in the Paddock, you and Carlos only ever had brief snapshots of Real Madrid small talk.
Still, this wasn't an odd conversation, you had to remind yourself. You were talking about the one thing you and him ever talked about. But, again, this was after Carlos had walked in to see you, a Hospitality worker, arguing with a driver.
"Please don't tell anyone about me being in the gym." You finally said, turning off the frother to gently tap the metal jar against the bench and settle the bubbles in the milk. "I could get into a lot of trouble since it's only for drivers."
Carlos waved a dismissive hand and shook his head. When it was clear he wasn't going to, you breathed a small sigh of relief. But then he leaned against the cart and you felt yourself starting to get anxious again. There was a quiet moment for a second as your poured the latte for Nico. Carlos' eyes followed your hands.
"I will say something if Ricciardo upset you." He said in a quieter voice.
You immediately shook your head and finally looked him in the eye. "Please don't. There's enough complication with... everything." You finished lamely.
"So I've heard." Carlos said.
You looked away. He knew.
"So then you'll know I don't need anymore complications." You said through gritted teeth, hating very much the confirmation that word had spread about what had happened.
"You haven't done anything wrong, though."
This caught you by surprise. It was the first time anyone - or, at least, a driver - had said those words to you. At the start, everyone had immediately pointed fingers at you. You were shunned and blamed. Some saw your position with the Formula One Group as part of Hospitality too light a punishment for what had happened. For the longest time, it was the confusion as to why everyone had reacted that way that did that hurt you. You hadn’t thought you had done anything wrong. Not really. You struggled to understand why no one else saw it that way. Least of all any of the drivers that knew what had happened.
Hearing Carlos say that really threw you for a short second. Carlos even caught it. He said your name and you finally looked up at him when you heard him say your name.
"Sorry it’s just - uh, Carlos, man.” You laughed a dry laugh. “You're probably the only driver who thinks so."
"I'm not." Carlos crossed his arms. "I might be the only one who has said so, but if I've understood correctly... then I'm not."
You looked down at metal jug in your hand with the extra milk you had frothed for yourself. Suddenly, you didn't feel like any caffeine. Your anxiety was already through the roof.
"Do you want a coffee?" You asked, sounding, again, very lame as that was your response to Carlos' comment.
The Spaniard looked back down at the spoon and jug in your hands. He nodded. "Have you had one already?" You asked. He shook his head and so you went about pulling down another paper cup to make his piccolo.
"You remembered." He said, laughing slightly.
"First coffee is a piccolo. Second and third are black." You recalled his order. Carlos smiled at you as you poured the milk. "I know everyone's coffee orders."
You didn’t catch how his smile lessened slightly at that.
You looked back at him and tried to ignore the thought of whether his kindness was exaggerated for your sake. A pity thing or something. Carlos accepted the coffee and then he actually offered a thank you in Arabic. You found your lips turning up hearing the marhaba on his Spanish tongue. “Es un placer.” You came back with his own native language.
You don’t work in Formula 1 without picking up a few things here and there.
Hence how you could recognise the German swears that sounded from within the motorhome as Guenther suddenly appeared.
“Where is that Y/N? Liverpool fucking tops the league and thinks she can take her time with— ah, you Ferrari fuckers!” Both you and Carlos looked to where he had come up behind the driver and slapped a friendly pat on his back. “Tell Fred he can’t have any pizza.”
“Pizza?” Carlos asked and looked down at you. “You made your pizza?”
You didn’t get a chance to respond before some Haas engineers appeared behind Guenther and called for you and him. Carlos took this as his sign - he was technically on Haas territory - and nodded at you and Guenther, holding up his piccolo in salute. Guenther had already taken the coffees you’d made for him and Nico and disappeared behind the sliding doors. You made a move to follow when Carlos called out.
"I want to try some famous Y/N pizza!” He said, turning on his heel as he walked backwards and called out to you.
You smiled and shook your head, walking back into the Haas home. You went back to the oven and set about plating up the pizzas to be a little more presentable to them. You also made sure to put some aside especially for Kevin. This was supposed to be for him.
You thought idly of saving some for Carlos when some Haas engineers you vaguely recognised walked past.
"Oh nice!" One engineer said, coming up and immediately reaching for one to stick it in his mouth. You watched him do the same blunder that Guenther did.
The other engineer, a woman with a thick Irish accent? was staring at you. Smug. "Damn, who got you smiling like that, missy?"
"What?" You asked, eyes going wide. You hadn't realised the wide smile on your face that was likely the direct result of one Carlo Sainz. Your face became hot again and it took every ounce of will to not seem affected by her words. “No one.”
"Mmm. If you say so.” She said in a sing song voice. “Well and me Mr Cool over here,” she gestured to the the other engineer trying to breathe through the hot pizza, “are heading to the garage now to see Kevin. Can we take them?"
"Yeah." You nodded. "Go ahead."
"Not saving some for anyone?"
"No." You shook your head firmly. "Take them all."
-
taglist:
@eugene-emt-roe @spookystitchery @vicurious28 @taytaylala12 @c-losur3 @hiireadstuff @samantha-chicago @fionaschicken @casperlikej
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eitaababe · 1 year
Text
SOMEBODY ELSE !
— chapter 10. arguments.
a/n — this is lowk kinda short and really shitty sorry for the late update guys lol
series masterlist. | previous / next
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written portion here. —
"I'm here!"
You quickly popped up from your position on the couch at the sound of Neteyam's voice, hastily opening the door.
"I missed you so much!"
Laughing, Neteyam walked into your dorm, placing the bag of sweets and your drink on the counter, opening his arms as an invitation for a hug. "I missed you too, weirdo."
"I was talking to the coffee," You teased, making your way over to the table when he punched your side gently, causing you to laugh. "You're pretty alright too, I guess." You feigned, finally accepting his hug.
"You guess? I buy you an amazing lunch and coffee, and this is how I'm repaid?"
"You get my presence, isn't that enough?"
"I suppose," he smiled your way, reaching into the bag and taking a handful of fries. "So, you're dating Ao'nung?"
"We went on one date," you corrected him, hoping he didn't notice the way your face went hot at the sudden question. "But yeah we're— whatever we are."
"You should be careful with him."
His words make you pause, looking up at him questioningly. "Sorry?"
"Be careful with him. I heard some things about him."
"Like?"
"Like dumb stuff. That's he's not really that into you and he's kind of a douche."
"Well, he's not." You stubbornly argued, shocked at the accusation of being used. Maybe you hadn't known him for the longest time, but Ao'nung wasn't the type of guy to pull something like that.
Right?
"Oh cmon, he's on baseball! He's a dude you haven't even known for over a month. He could be like that for all you know."
"Why the hell are you so adamant about this? He's not! And who even put that idea in your head?"
"I'm just telling you to be careful. And Violet— who by the way— is his ex, told me."
"Oh yes, that skimpy blonde you left me out in the rain for! And because exes are such a reliable source. How do you know she's not lying?"
"How do you know that she's not?"
"Why do you care so much?"
"I'm just trying to protect you!"
"I don't need protecting!" You snapped, hands falling to your side dramatically. "I can make my own decisions. And do you seriously believe Violet? You've known her for like what— a week?"
"Yeah, I do." He stated, jaw clenched. You scoffed at his behavior, and pushed the bag of food away from yourself.
"I really don't feel like fighting with you right now, so just take your food and leave, okay? Before either of us says something we regret." You left without another word into your room, not bothering to watch Neteyam leave your dorm.
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FUN FACTS !
— kiri brought lo'ak with her
— they brought y/n more food and shit talked neteyam
— lo'ak finally got his date with tsireya :)
taglist #1 / closed ! @n7ytiri @ilovejakesullysdick @possysblog @love-chx @stars4deku @evphology @afro-hispwriter @ydsm-29 @tsireyasgf @goldeneywa @doulcha @krazy-kattzz @fucksnow @squid4 @blairrrrrr @neteyamforlife @dreamtogether2000 @444lyra @ambria @cawi00 @calums-betch @powowowy @teyums @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @elegantkidfansoul @kolsmikaelson @mirikusashes @yukichan67 @goodiesinthecloset21 @netemoon @littlethingsinlife @coconut-dreamz @anm3mi @jjkclub @il0veheartz @liyahsocorro @nao-cchi @drugs-for-memes @zendayaswrld101 @grierpilots @misscaller06 @lightskinloak @mommyneytiri @inluvwithneteyam @halibanana @iheartamajiki @ipoopedmypants47 @neigesprincess @lookiiheh @ghostjoohoney
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vinsmokesangio · 4 months
Text
facetime call
pairing: tom blyth x bestfriend!reader x actress!reader
summary: you decide to “relax” your body and your best friend almost caught you. this is a second part of this au.
warnings: mentions of past relationships, f!masturbation, suggestive conversations | english’s not my native language | no proofread
genre: friends to lovers
word count: 733
masterlist
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A few days passed after that “date”, where you and Tom shared the first kiss and confessed to each other. You feared your friendship might change after that, but actually it was going pretty well, at least for you. Tom still texted you, sending you memes and making facetime calls. The feeling was amazing, you really feel like you’re living a teenage dream, like that song. Unfortunately, past relationships still haunted you with your traumas. The fear of being left alone again always playing tricks on your mind… You didn't have the opportunity to meet your friends in common with Tom to talk about what happened between you both, but the last photo dump you posted on your IG account and the comments you've received from them might could’ve been useful for them to gossip about it in your absence. You’ve been really busy, finishing your drama school and preparing for the Christmas play which would be in a few days. Tom promised he’ll be attending, so as the rest of your friends and the thought of that made you anxious. Tom is a really good actor, and it kinda intimidates you, since you’re still graduating.
You went home and took a hot shower to let go your anxious thoughts. Have you noticed you’ve been thinking a lot lately? About everything? You can read the first paragraph again and take your notes… All the “what ifs” was driving you crazy, so you decided to take a breath and take care of yourself this evening. Skincare routine while watching Stranger Things for the third time, moisturising your hair.
No matter how much you tried to distract yourself, all your thoughts came back to Tom. His sweet lips in perfect sync with yours, his big hands caressing your body, hot and burning with desire. It was innocent and romantic, but the memory somehow turned you on. Since you were alone, why not take advantage, huh?
Lying comfortable in your bed, you let your hands help alleviate this feeling, letting them run down your body until you found the source of the heat you were feeling. Your mind masterfully reproduced the few moments of affection you exchanged with your best friend until then. The desire for months of accumulated sexual tension, the heat of his confession and the good feeling of conquest made you more excited and you began to pant. It didn't take long for your movements to become more intense, your breathing more shallow and you reached your peak. Letting out a long - but low - moan, you recover on the bed. Until you receive a facetime from Tom and shame takes over your face. You decide to answer, why not?
”Hey” - you say breathlessly. Damn, it would be hard to disguise what you just did thinking about him.
“Hi!!! Where are you? I’ve got news for you, Billy the Kid was renewed for a third… are you okay?”
Tom was extremely hyperactive and when he was happy, he seemed to vomit his words. But his euphoric expression quickly changed to concern as he watched you move a little on camera, your forehead sweaty and… wrapped in a towel?
“y/n, are you naked???” he burst out laughing, and you tried to hide in your pillow, but soon joined in with the laughter.
“Yeah, I am! I was showering!” giving up trying to hide it, you simply accept it and join in on his game. You notice his expression change to a more mischievous look.
“……….. Well, I've never had sex via FaceTime, but if you...”
“TOM! Shut the fuck up!!” then you both laugh again. That's why you love him. The way he always makes things lighter, making jokes, being goofy. He is your comfort. It's simply impossible to feel embarrassed around him, he will always make the mood delicious.
Tom then finishes telling his news, that the series would be renewed for a third season and he would receive the text soon. He was happy and you could tell from afar. You tell him about your day and a few minutes later, the call ends. You hang up the call and stare at the ceiling of your room, not noticing the huge smile on your face. You allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, you allow yourself to fall in love, and you accept it. Whatever will be will be.
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bebx · 7 months
Note
I didn't think I could possibly get any more feral about Lokius, and then this ep happened!!!
Loki being so comfortable having Mobius constantly touching him, and instantly seeking him out as a source of comfort when he's in distress.
Not questioning for one second that they would risk their lives for each other, though they playfully complain about it like a total married couple.
Mobius not needing Loki to complete his confession (no one can tell me that's not what that was) before he disappears, because it doesn't have to be said. He already knows...
They are the epitome of the "It's rotten work..." meme, and I don't know if my heart can handle a whole season of this!
I feel like everything I wanted to say, anon has already said it and they said it so beautifully so I’m just gonna say ‘anon, you get it!!’
I’m so happy Marvel gives Loki his Mobius because, as someone who’s been a fan of Loki way before the first season of Loki series, I can wholeheartedly say Loki has never been this happy and himself around anyone else as he is around Mobius, and it’s shown in all these little details like how he trusts Mobius enough he lets his guard down and sleeps while in Mobius’s presence (season 1 episode 2) because — even in a strange place where he’s a prisoner — he knows Mobius will keep him safe. or the way he so desperately needs to find Mobius — no one else but Mobius — when he returns to the TVA. like… everything about them makes me go so insane.
Lokius is literally the definition of true love and no one can change my mind.
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k0droid · 6 months
Text
HE'S THE TYPE – FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
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It's the little things he does as your boyfriend <3
a/n: HOLY SHIT i have not posted in SO long. My bad 💀 I just didn't expect 10th grade to give me so much work. I just took my 3rd PSAT dude 😭
warnings!: fluff, you and megumi are dating, headcanons (i did not write too much), i use the phrase "he's the type" a lot
I was inspired by many different sources: premade headcanons, real-life experiences, and personal thoughts. (@takis4aki, @lyra_inumaki, and @upperkaceart on tiktok)
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HE’S THE TYPE to adopt pets with you. He’s a dog person.
HE’S THE TYPE to inch his hand closer to yours, in fear he might come off as too forward.
HE’S THE TYPE to understand whatever emotion you try to convey. He hangs out with Inumaki, what do you expect?
HE’S THE TYPE to tell say you smell good.
HE’S THE TYPE to secretly enjoy those weird posts you tag him in.
HE’S THE TYPE to send you messages in the form of alpha wolf memes.
“ BABE HOW DO I USE THE OVEN 🐺 ”
HE’S THE TYPE to wait for you at lunch. He won’t sit down until he sees you.
HE’S THE TYPE to be shy. Adorably shy. ‘Hiding his face in your neck’ shy.
HE’S THE TYPE to share his ice cream with you.
HE’S THE TYPE to whisper “I love you” while you sleep.
HE’S THE TYPE to call just to hear your voice.
HE’S THE TYPE to think of you all the time. You’ll never leave his mind.
HE’S THE TYPE to put his head on your shoulder.
HE’S THE TYPE to introduce you to new games. (Cough cough Forgotten Hill)
HE’S THE TYPE to not know how to comfort people, but he tries his best.
HE’S THE TYPE to imitate your favorite characters when you’re down.
HE’S THE TYPE to be invested in your gossip.
“ And then she tells me she might be pregnant. ”
“ ...No fucking way. ” 
HE’S THE TYPE to babysit. (I don’t know why, but)  I can see a lot of adults trusting him with their children.
HE’S THE TYPE to watch those My Story Animated videos 😭
HE’S THE TYPE to talk about his dorky interests. He’s such a Spiderman & Minecraft fan!!
HE’S THE TYPE to love all of you.
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a/n: ok wow that was not my best work but i suddenly got bit by the creativity man (as my mom says) and wrote this.
-- My best friend and I always get lunch together. If she gets her lunch faster than me, she'll wait outside the lunch line until I appear and then we walk to our table together and I just really love her for that. it's the small things!
-- one of my ex-friends let a (grown) guy hit IN THE FOREST AT NIGHT WITHOUT PROTECTION. and then she told me that she might be pregnant and I was like 😶
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Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!
All works belong to @prettygyalpluto. Do not plagiarize or repost without permission.
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mustangs-flames · 1 month
Note
im not sure if you read the callout doc, but everything within it is very transmisogynistic and ableist. feel free to reread, but this time take it in.
I've read all the documents. From day 1.
Let's talk.
Let me start by saying that I am both trans and disabled.
Alex was never outed as a paedophile. Twitter morons making memes made that up with their lack of reading comprehensibility. The document was ALWAYS about how Alex fosters parasocial relationships with his fans, many of whom were minors within private enclosed spaces (servers). He spoke inappropriately with people from a position of power. As a 20 year old, it is YOUR responsibility to know that trauma dumping and suicide baiting kids is something you DON'T DO. That is what this is all about. People made memes on twitter, spread misinformation, and made it so that it's very difficult for people to find the original sources.
Much of the so-called 'evidence' supporting Alex are deep faked images that were NEVER part of the original document. That Hooters image was never in the original source or any of the victims' statements.
Alex's close friends, work crew, and associates have confirmed that he behaves like this behind closed doors and have stepped away from him. If it weren't true on some level, his friends and other people in the horror scene wouldn't have done this. They would've, if anything, supported him or at least told people it may not be true.
There was no transmisogyny in the original doc. It was made clear that Alex used any pronouns from the get-go. Numerous accounts of his (like his Tumblr for instance) publicly says he uses any pronouns. Just because the inappropriate behaviour occurred in a 'gender identity server' doesn't mean the whole situation is about calling out someone for talking about their gender identity - the situation is about him making servers mostly filled with minors and forming parasocial relationships with them to the point he would suicide bait and rely on them for mental health support. Additionally, all of his victims are trans or genderqueer in some way. This isn't about Alex potentially being trans at all. This is about his behaviour and lack of taking responsibility when talking to his fans.
As for ableism, yeah, Alex is probably mentally ill in some way. I have seen his rambling messages, we are aware that he was supposed to be getting professional help at numerous points and refused to because it meant he would have to take accountability. Just because Alex is likely unwell, it doesn't mean he is suddenly exempt of being held to a better standard or that he can't take responsibility. I am mentally ill too, I have done shitty things to my friends too, but I still took accountability and did the work. I went to therapy, made amends, and did better. Alex was confronted and didn't - instead they would suicide bait and manipulate. Calling out someone who's mentally ill for their inappropriate behaviour when they, time and time again, refuse to get help or even admit they were in the wrong isn't ableism.
Alex isn't guilty of being a paedophile. But he is guilty of being irresponsible when talking to fans and minors, fostering parasocial relationships, and refusing to acknowledge that his behaviour was wrong (even though he has admitted to knowing he hurt people). He needs help and needs to do better, much, much better. I am saying all of this as someone who is waiting to hear Alex's side of things, too, but it is undeniable that he has been inappropriate and abused his position of power as a creator. He seems like a person struggling through a lot, but that is no excuse for his behaviour. You can be mentally ill and/or trans and still be a shitty person who has done shitty things.
I hope Alex gets help. I do. But people in his position need to be called out for their actions or they will not change. I know this from personal experience.
This is all I'm saying on the matter until Alex makes a statement on things. In the meantime, support the victims and read their original statements on twitter (donutqq_qwq has compiled a thread of all of the victim statements).
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shmolish · 21 days
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/shmolish/746176844034981888/sick-shadow-milk-cookie-x-reader?source=share
One shot idea since I got a guess aaaaand I just wanna see your version but I'm curious if shadow milk would ACTUALLY be like this or no? If not I wanna see how he actually acts buuut just to show you my guess on what shadow milk is like:
Shadow milk when he is sick: lalala! I'm perfectly fine! Just cuddle me and I'll be okie dokie, darling! Hehehe! Never stop the fun! (Or short meme version: I sleep)
Shadow milk when y/n is sick: bed, soup, medicine, love, sleep, now! Can't have my beloved feeling all icky! No playtime, only naptime! Sleepytime! You get all the cuddles you want if it helps you sleep but no games, just relax and drink your soup! (Second part of meme version: real shit)
Tldr: shadow milk when he is sick treats it like a joke and a game and not serious...he stops treating illnesses like a joke the moment his s/o gets sick. Think he is gonna joke around when his s/o feels like shit? Nope, he is keeping his s/o relaxed and napping and constantly giving them their favorite soup until he is 100% sure the sickness is out of their system!
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AN: I'm pretty sure both of you suggested similar things, which was a shadow milk cookie x sick reader. Been waiting to do this one!!
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Shadow Milk Cookie x Sick! Reader
Oneshot (Headcanons below)
Warnings: (Kinda a part two to the sick shadow milk cookie, so some parts might be a little confusing.) One dirty joke 😔 (I couldn't resist, sry)
-Take Care-
"I just have to spend some time alone, haha. Nothing out of the ordinary!" You would say with an awkward smile.
Shadow Milk Cookie would look at you with an unbelieving look.
"Doll, you're not a very good liar," He'd say while crossing his arms.
"Come on, just- for like a few days?"
"A few days? How am I supposed to live without you for a few days when I can't even live without you for a few hours!?"
Shadow Milk Cookie would put a hand on his forehead, feigning a dramatic pose.
"But seriously. What's wrong?" He cupped your face and look at you with those concerned eyes.
The eyes you were in love with, and the eyes that you didn't want seeing your weak and sickly state.
Your face was was much warmer than usual, but he didn't think much of it.
"Ah, could it be-? You just don't like my company!"
"No! It's not that!" You would refute quickly, backing away from him.
"Then what's wrong? Come on dove, you know you can tell me anything."
You sneezed shortly after that, but didn't say anything.
Everything clicked in that moment for Shadow Milk Cookie.
"Oh. My. Goodness. YOU'RE SICK! I'VE GOTTEN MY BELOVED DOVE SICK!"
He would instantly start panicking, beginning to look around the house for different types of medicine and other things that might come in handy.
"It's not really that bad- I can take care of myself..."
He would pick you up bridal style and take you to a couch, wrapping blankets around you.
"My little doll shouldn't need to lift a finger while they're sick. Please, allow your favorite jester to do the work for you!"
He kept digging through cabinets for medicine and ingredients for a soup he'd eventually end up making.
"How come you're taking my sickness so seriously when you didn't even take care of yourself last time?"
He came back with a bunch of ice packs, like.. twenty of them. You didn't even own twenty ice packs.
"Why wouldn't I take your illness seriously? I must make sure that you are safe and happy at all times, and I can't do that if you feel icky."
He offered one of the icepacks to you, which you accepted and just held for a while.
"I don't need this many ice packs, Milk," you would tell him.
"You can never be too sure! And of course, I offer my 200% when it comes to my most beloved."
"I don't even own this many ice packs."
"Now you do! ...Don't look into it that much."
He skipped off to the kitchen again, looking as cheerful as ever.
Of course, it was just a facade. Internally, he was panicking. He barely knew how to care for himself, and now you were sick. What if you died?! Okay, he was probably overreacting, but normal cookies are so fragile. That's why he had to do everything in his power to keep you healthy.
He didn't know what was and wasn't needed, so he just took a lot of everything.
Came back with one of each medicine type that you owned.
"So uh, which one is the one you need?"
You pointed to one of the bottles, and Shadow Milk swiftly measured the correct dosage.
"Alright, so I got you an ice pack, blankets, and you took medicine. What else do you people do while sick?" He would ask while putting a hand on his chin.
"I don't know. Normally they eat soup," you told him.
"That's right! You are so smart, button. Alright, I'll do just that, then." He gave you a kiss on the forehead before wandering off into the kitchen.
Did he even know how to cook? You've never seen him try before, but he's lived for so long, that surely he knew how to... right?
Oh well, he did eventually end up coming back with the food. It actually ended up looking edible.
"Ta-da~ It looks amazing, right? Of course it does! It was made my yours truly." He sat down on the couch next to you, scooping up some soup in a spoon.
"Now, say 'ah'" He held the spoon infront of your mouth, waiting to feed you.
"I'm not doing that."
"Yes you are. Now open your mouth before I shove the spoon down your throat."
"You can shove something else down my throat."
"Haha, very funny. But maybe when you're feeling better~"
Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, you ended up finishing the soup. It wasn't half bad, actually.
Now, the both of you were cuddling on the couch. A movie was playing in the background, and Shadow Milk Cookie was resting his head in your lap.
"Doll, how come you didn't tell me you were sick sooner?" He would ask.
"I just didn't want to be a burden, I suppose."
"You would never be a burden to me. There's a reason I treat you so much better than the others, and it's because I care for you. I know I'm all about deceit and stuff, but this is the honest truth, okay darling?"
You couldn't help the smile on your face. "Okay."
《☆》 Fin
Headcanons
He's panicking 24/7
Even if you tell him you don't want to get him sick, he says he doesn't care
Everything has to be ready for you, and you have to be comfortable
Absolutely no chance of you going out that day
Legit coddles you or is always near you
Even if it's just a small cough, he's canceling all of the things you have that day
Bro is so paranoid
If you're ever bored he performs small puppet shows for you
Makes you go to bed early
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ghostlykeyes · 2 months
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i rlly like your work, heartsteel needs more content tbh,, so ty!! ANYWAY,
i liked the general relationship/kiss hcs w kayn, would u be able to do that for the other two as well?? if that makes sense
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HEARTSTEEL YONE: RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW, with light touching/sensuality ♡ TW: Some alcohol usage/food mentions ♡ I've done Sett's kisses here (X) and relationship HCs here (X), and Yone's kisses here (X) ! (will I remember to come back and edit those links in??? only time will tell)
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YONE
No matter where you go, Yone brings you on fantastic dates. It's never popular tourist-trap type outings, either. If you ask how the hell he even found out about your date locations, he smiles coyly and says he can't reveal his sources. Regardless, expect lots of breathtaking, original dates—hidden trails that spill into breathtaking clumps of wildflowers, a hole-in-the-wall burger joint with the best fries you've had in tour entire life, tiny sculpture parks with some truly absurd statues (he absolutely refuses to delete the unflattering pic of you squatting next to a caked-up stone Sasquatch).
He isn't on his phone often, so don't be surprised if Yone doesn't text you back quickly or is overly-formal with his messages. Wild horses couldn't drag a silly emoji or a meme out of him. If you're lucky, you'll get a red heart, but that's about it. He tries not to make you feel neglected just because he's a dry texter, though. Especially when he's on tour, he calls you to check in whenever he's got a spare moment.
Yone's a chronic meal-skipper so he really appreciates if you share your food with him. Be warned, though, if you force him to step away from work and sit down for dinner you're either getting five minutes and a cup of instant ramen, or he's cooking you a three course meal complete with different appetizer, entree, and dessert wines. There's no in-between.
While Yone's not a fan of PDA, he holds your hand through every big event you're forced to attend. He doesn't appreciate the attention and flashing lights, but your warm, reassuring grip keeps him calm and relatively content.
Matching outfits are a little bit too much, but Yone is all for wearing clothing that compliments yours. Think similar textures, colors, and cuts. If you're wearing athleisure, he'll throw on a pair of stylish sweatpants. You're rocking the all black fit, so is he (with a pop of color in his earrings, probably—if he's completely monochrome, Kayn accuses him of "stealing his look"). Though he thinks it's a little cringy to be exact matches, he's definitely down to coordinate.
Whenever Yone makes himself a coffee, he whips up a glass of your favorite beverage as well. Nothing is too complicated—if you want a latte, he can make any flavor, and he'll pour the foam into a heart shape on top. Boba? No problem, he's got tapioca pearls in your favorite flavor and large straws on hand, to boot. A mimosa? Okay, he might raise his eyebrow at that one and point out that it's like eleven A.M.—nevertheless, if it's a mimosa you want, then it's a mimosa you'll get. Part of this is because he loves you, of course, but also? He hates sharing his coffee and figures that you won't ask for a sip if you've got your own drink.
Yone absolutely melts when you take care of him. He's used to looking after everyone else's wants and needs, so it's a pleasant surprise when someone extends that same care and attention to him. Cook him his favorite meal or take care of his laundry when he's been extra busy, and he looks at you like you're the eight wonder of the world. "You didn't have to do that for me," he cups your face gently, sweeping an appreciative kiss over your forehead. "But I'm glad that you did."
Chivalry is not dead and Yone's the man giving it CPR. Count on him to be the perfect gentleman. He opens every door for you, takes your coat whenever you drop by his studio, and no, under no circumstances will he let you pull out your own chair.
Yone's pet-names are sweet and classic. Most often, he calls you 'my darling', but he'll occasionally pepper in a 'dearest' or 'lover' for variety.
One of Yone's favorite ways to spend a free evening with you is sneaking into underground music shows. The two of you will turn up to somebody's house where the living room has been cleared to throw together a makeshift stage, or an abandoned warehouse with people clustering together and swaying to synthetic beats blasting through mid-grade speakers. More often than not, the musicians aren't that good (but that's par for the course with these kind of shows). The atmosphere can't be beat, though. And, when you do stumble upon somebody's garage band that actually goes hard, it's always an exciting surprise. Yone always keeps cash on him in case somebody's selling merch. He snags two stickers, one for you to keep and one to paste on his guitar case. What better way to commemorate shitty bands and crowded house shows than with matching stickers?
If you tag along with him on tour or business trips, Yone's first mission is to scout out a good coffee shop. Of course he takes you along, and buys you whatever little treats catch your eye. Sweets, sandwiches, snacks—anything he notices you ogling behind the glass, he orders for you.
Even with his massively packed schedule Yone NEVER, EVER forgets an important date. Expect gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, and extra love and support on dates that might be difficult for you.
Since Sett's a master crocheter, Yone pays him a frankly absurd amount to make you a plushie that looks like his fox mask. Yone knows that it can't be easy for you, with him away touring or on business so much of the time. The stuffed snuggle-buddy, he hopes, can ease your loneliness when he's away. Before he sets off on a long trip he makes sure to spritz your stuffie with his cologne, so that you can squish it in your sleep and dream that he's right there with you.
Yone's not a huge cuddler. Too much physical attention can make him feel smothered. The exception is when you sit on his lap. He loves when you settle onto him while he's working. As long as you're quiet and still (he doesn't want you to disturb his flow, after all), he basks in your comfortable warmth and the adorable way you tuck yourself into his chest.
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shortpplfedup · 10 months
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Rewatched the episode to organise my thoughts and I really wanted to share my understanding of the emotional journey Pat is going through this ep. I do feel, like @lurkingshan and @ginnymoonbeam in particular have been saying to me, that Pat's journey is sliiiiiiightly harder to follow, and it hinges on the conversation on two levels that he and Jeng have near the middle of the ep (which, more on that in a moment). Like always, this ep could have used a little nip/tuck, and maybe a montage to show the passage of time, but I'd like to present to you...
PAT'S EPISODE 9 EMOTIONS: A STORY
First movement: absolute cringe, totally embarrassed. He was drunk and weeping, hanging off his boss who had to answer his MOM's phone call and get him home. Said boss is also gay which...we're not processing that right now because it adds an entirely new cringe level.
Second movement: starts to think about the fact that JENG IS GAY AND ONLY JUST TOLD HIM which feels like maybe Jeng has been laughing at him a bit and messing him about. Because he thought they were bonding somewhat all this time but Jeng didn't share this when he knows Pat is also gay. Shoves the stuffie in the drawer because he feels betrayed.
Third movement: Here is where things get wibbly because time is clearly passing between the day after the bar and the day Pat's dad shows up, but we don't really understand how much. Pat is actively avoiding Jeng. Jeng is asking Chot where he is, Pat is taking (multiple?) days off...but no idea of when this falls in the timeline so hard to follow the throughline.
Fourth movement: Pat is back at work and clearly DEEP in his feelings, he has been stewing over this for who knows how long at this point (feels more weeks than days or months). Chot is noticing (and likely misunderstanding the source of the churn as a lovers' tiff rather than a not-lovers' tiff). He thought he wouldn't have to see Jeng because Chot is standing in for him at the screening but Jeng shows up and he kind of panics. So he's feeling embarrassed, a little betrayed and like Jeng has been toying with him.
Fifth movement: This is where they have the convo on two levels. I say that because Pat was clearly saying one thing while Jeng was hearing another. Pat is saying: 'stop doing these things because I can't say no when you're sweet to me.' Jeng is hearing: 'stop doing these things because I can't say no when you are my boss.' The language is deliberately vague, and the idea of two meanings could get lost, but the show makes it clear in the two follow up scenes where Jeng and Pat have separate vents about what's happening. Jeng is crying to Jaab that Pat only sees him as a coworker, while Pat is fuming to Jen that Jeng is playing with his feelings. Pat said 'I don't want to misunderstand' and Jeng said 'you're not misunderstanding' and Pat said 'no I must be misunderstanding because it don't even make sense, so leave me alone please.'
Sixth movement: Pat exposits those feelings of being toyed with to Jen, who is like 'solidarity sister, these brothers be doing that.'
Seventh movement: Chot tells Pat Jeng is quitting and that's when Pat starts to realise that maybe the man was Not Fucking Around, but the WHY ME? is strong because Pat is aware that Jeng is An Adult and he is The Hot Mess Express. Then the man plans him a damn birthday celebration but stays away like he asked.
Eighth movement: At this point, Pat is the SpongeBob crab meme. THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH HAPPENING AND HE CANNOT PROCESS IT HE HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN LOST IN THE SAUCE. He breaks the fuck down and cries to his mommy and daddy, because it's all too much.
Ninth movement: Pat experiences the miracle of birth up close and fucking personal and like many of us cannot believe that a human can actually do that and what the fuck is he actually caught up about. His good sis MADE A PERSON IN THE STREET and then posted it on Instagram like it was light work, and he is skressed because a gay man likes him, another gay man.
Tenth movement: And then Pat gets home and said gay man has sent him a BOX of snacks just because he said he liked them once, and then sends him a text that basically says 'I LIKE YOU DUMMY, SO MUCH, BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU.'
Look, all I'm saying is my man Pat went on a journey ok?
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centrally-unplanned · 1 month
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I was listening to this cast by The Weeb Crew, with SteveM as a guest, going through some other Evangelion video and dissecting the mythical memetic tropes it buys into. Which was a lot of fun, I recommend the cast, and the video they are critiquing is a bit of a grad-bag of zombie memes about Evangelion from the 2000's, which yeah have aged poorly.
One of the ones they get into is the idea that Evangelion's TV ending was "intensely unpopular", and Anno & crew were getting like bombarded with death threats and stuff. Which happened at some level sure, but certainly wasn't the median response. The video actually sites the "emails" shown on screen in End of Evangelion as evidence:
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And like, bro those emails are fake! The staff wrote them for the movie, they didn't use real death threats or fan mail, that would be a huge legal liability. Not saying they are analytically useless or anything but, you know, you need to know that.
Anyway, SteveM mentions that of course there was pushback against Eva's ending, but actually the big wave wasn't interior to the fandom - instead it was sparked by Eva "going mainstream" discourse-wise. In particular a review essay by social critic Eiji Otuska (who is also a former lolicon creator ding ding ding) that was published after the finale aired sparked a widespread discussion in the media by other critics. He links to the essay in their discussion....except he doesn't. He thinks he did, and then when they look, its just someone else mentioning it in an article in 2003:
Bitter disputes broke out on online bulletin boards, with some critical of the producers for failing to provide a clear-cut end to the story, and others who praised the finish for being "typically Evangelion-like." But when commentator Eiji Otsuka sent a letter to the Yomiuri Shimbun, complaining about the end of the Evangelion series, the debate went nationwide. "The debate that erupted over the ending went way beyond our calculations," Gainax's Sato chuckles. "Anno probably knew what was going on. He realized that media other than anime had taken notice of Evangelion."
Which triggered in me the thought - why doesn't he have it? He references it in his own work after all. As you can guess, after some searching I am pretty sure I know why; no one has it. Its never been scanned or reprinted in an accessible format! It definitely is important in the history of Evangelion - I have seen this claim in other contexts, the essay that sparked a discourse, and you can find many works about Evangelion citing Otsuki (generally later works, like an article published in September of 1996 which you can buy) But what the article article said is only discernable via the clues dropped from second-hand accounts.
So can we find it?
First of all I need to figure out what is even being referenced. Searching through contemporary Japanese sources, I dug up an extremely handy find:
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A somehow-still-existing 1997 fan page by a Japanese otaku (I'm giving you this stuff auto-translated btw, what would you do with a wall of kanji?) who extensively catalogued every media mention of Evangelion. I am sure they missed some, but they didn't miss a big one like the Otsuki letter - which we know from the above interview appeared in gigantic newspaper Yoimiuri Shimbun:
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This gives us three candidates; given that we know it was written after the finale aired, and that was March 27th, 1996, our most likely candidate is the April 1st essay; I was able to find a secondary source mentioning the review was "immediately" after the finale, so I think that nails it.
Which alas does not bring up anything! Try as I might I cannot find any extant blog post, or scanned image, or long quoted form. But after trying the usual methods I did realize something - unlike my average document hunt, this is Yoimiuri Shimbum, a newspaper, a big newspaper. Which means they probably have their own archive, which I might be able to access. and low and behold, they do! And my university research services actually have an account!!
Incredibly blessed by this stroke of luck, I went digging for everything containing "Evangelion" and "Eiji Otsuka" in 1996, and found it:
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And it's fucking blank. If the article is scanned or anything it will have that "Japanese Text" you see on the first result, or "Scanned Image" tag or something. I swear its like the only ones not scanned, all the random ads and list of best sellers are all there, but the entire cultural essays section is just an archival void. Shot in the skull right at the finish line.
Alas I am out of ideas of this one - its a newspaper, no one is selling this on Yahoo Auctions. Though hey, at least now we know the title:
"オウム」を超えるはずが... / It should surpass Aum...", 876 characters long.
"Aum" by the way is Aum Shinrikyo, the cult terrorist group that conducted the 1995 Tokyo subway sarin gas attack. Which you can imagine really took the chattering classes by storm; it was the culmination of a series of "extremist" actions that began in the 1980's that built up a narrative of societal decay and alarm. It really isn't surprising that Otsuka linked Evangelion to Aum Shinrikyo; the apocalyptic connections were obvious, there was even an episode of the show that had to be changed due to the attacks as the production team thought the events were too similar. And additionally, if this essay was gonna spark a "societal backlash", it has to say something controversial right? I have definitely seen other critics like Hiroki Azuma discussing Eva in relation to Aum as a "social phenomenon" - I am betting Otsuka is the source of that comparison being so ubiquitous.
From other sources like people on twitter and other articles, I can pick up a few other details on what it contained; apparently he referred to Evangelion's finale as a "self-help seminar" for otaku and lambasted the idea of airing one of those on TV. And from his other writings I think you can certainly piece it together - essentially seeing Evangelion's self-involvement and hyper-introspection as a product of the same societal malaise that birthed Aum Shinrikyo, while failing to deliver a solution that could "go beyond" that. Which, the shit you said about media in the 90's, I want a hit of what he's having! But while today its quite obvious that groups like Aum were, sure, saying something about society but turned out overwhelmingly to be fringe weirdos as opposed to canaries in the mental institute coal mine, at the time this was very much the zeitgeist.
Still, I don't really care all that much what it says - its an important artifact! It started the "Eva discourse boom" that broke out of otaku circles and launched Evangelion into a cross-societal phenomenon! We should have a record of it, it should be preserved. I will ruminate on it, and see if any other ideas pop up. And meanwhile if anyone out there happens to see what I missed definitely let me know.
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demonichikikomori · 6 months
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No Nut November: Bonus Round
All students are written +18
+Round 1 +Round 2 +Round 3 +Round 4
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Dire Crowley
Lasts 26/30 days
Dire Crowley is an old man. Even though he doesn't look like it... He still doesn't understand the 'memes' or much of today's comedy.
However, he agrees to participate because he thinks the challenge would be amusing to try.
How could he turn down such a thing with you asking him to try?!
During the first week he was unbothered by the challenge. This was easy enough for a fae like him!
The second week with your scent and presence lingering around his office, he became antsy.
He disliked seeing you roam the halls when he was walking to check on the many classes. The sight of you made him flustered, knowing this was a challenge that needed him to keep his hands to himself. To abstain.
The third week he had become irritable and cold to the other staff and the office visitors that he had. He didn't think this would be such an issue until he spent the days struggling like this...
As you reached the last week of November, you took a trip to Crowley's office with a big smile on your face.
You wanted to try teasing him a little more in hopes of seeing him fail or mess up. You couldn't always let him have a smug victory in everything.
When you sat on his desk after all the students had gone home, the feeling of his metal talons sliding across your waist made you shiver with excitement.
"Why don't we stop this game..? Can't you see how badly I want you?"
You could, and it was your choice to give him what he wants, or leave him hanging.
"Sam"
Lasts 13/30 days
Ohhh his little Imp is so much fun!
Sam agrees on the bet with little to no hesitance. He likes the idea of a gamble with you!~!
With a shake of your hands and his friends watching to make sure that it was official, the test began.
Working shifts with Sam left you breathless when the shadows would pinch and prod at your body. Or when Sam would rest his hands on your body casually to get around you in his organized mess of a shop.
You feared that you may have bitten off more than you can chew with Sam.
You would evade his touches and the shadows with twists and spins that amused the students that came in to shop, but displeased Sam.
On day 13, Divus Crewel came in with a soft smile as he greeted you with a kiss to your knuckles and a compliment. You walked and talked through the shop as he browsed and he eased a few laughs out of you.
Sam didn't seem to be a fan.
Once Professor Crewel left with his purchases, the shadows locked the door to the shop and flipped the sign to say that the two of you would be gone for the day.
You were bent over his counter, whimpering and whining as the sun began to set behind the trees and the lights began to dim. Leaving the light source up the neon signs, and the glowing paint on the decorative masks above.
"Sorry my Little Imp, I can't wait much longer. I miss having you all to myself."
Divus Crewel
Lasts 22/30 days
Such a silly game you asked him to play... But he won't refuse such a gamble with his little puppy!~!
He plays it cool the first few days, happy to see how antsy you look when he summons you to his classroom after hours
Nothing happens of course, just the flirty words of what he plans to do once November was over. How about an early gift for the Xmas season on December 1st?
After a week... Dealing with rowdy boys and a useless Headmage was starting to get to him
His hair becoming frazzled and out of place. He's snippy during class hours. He takes wayyyy more smoke breaks than usual... He's losing his cool with each light caress of your finger against his arm and every late night flirty text.
As the 22nd of November arrived, rushed to his classroom once the students had gone home. Apparently a potion had exploded in his classroom and everyone was evacuated due to the contents.
As you entered you looked around in alarm, inhaling a sweet scent in the air that left your body aching with desire.
Divus was rubbing at his temple with his gloved hand as his coat stayed draped over his chair. The aura in the room was tense and it left your body feeling hotter than before.
He explained to you that it was an old aphrodisiac one of the third years made for their DIY project.
"Now, hurry up and shut the door."
And you did exactly that.
Ashton Vargas
Lasts 2/30 days
Don't forget, he doesn't understand internet culture. That's for the spineless wimps and those who don't understand what it means to build muscle mass!
Although it is a challenge, he isn't sure what it's supposed to train muscle or brain wise but chooses to agree out of pride
And to impress you of course
When he finds out it's a test of 'restraint' he grows unhappy with the concept of participating
What a foolish challenge! He won't participate any longer! This ends day two
Coach Vargas choses to fail out of spite for this wimpy challenge
"A real man won't hold back on his urges! He faces them head on!"
Mozus Trein
Doesn’t Participate
"I am unsure as to where you have found this concept, but I don't think I am a big fan of it."
He doesn't have time for such games, he is an adult! An old man!
Mozus also knows not of internet culture, and isn't sure why doing this was such a challenge
To be driven by desire like some beast is unbecoming of a man like him. However, if you would like to play along, he won't stop you
But please, let him know when you've ended your silly game
He'll be waiting for you on December 1st!~!
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mikuni14 · 4 months
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The Sign - Ep 4
*sexy sound*: hooya! This series keeps on giving ✨
Let me start by saying that this whole police-investigative part is extremely silly, funny and not reflecting reality (apart from the moment when captain inspector team leader Akk says "that a victim is a victim no matter the gender"), but who am I kidding! I'm not here to analyze police work! So I completely ignore this part. Although I must admit that the police part provides incredible entertainment in the form of Captain Inspector Team Leader Akk (always), the introduction of a new, cool character accompanied by the dramatic sounds of classical music, or the interruption of an intense scene between MLs with important information about the discovery of severed genitalia 👌👌
Apart from that, as always, I like everything. I love how Tharn is shown as just a regular horny gay dude who just thinks about dicks lol How many other BLs, where b stands for BOY, show this? I also like that his fantasies are of him letting Phaya do things to him, being vulnerable by exposing his neck, being pinned down, covered by his lover's body. I also liked that Tharn relives these fantasies in the light of day and indulges in them 🤩 Oh, "sleep wherever you like" was an invitation and that's a fact you will have to pry from my cold, dead hands 😤
I love how this show keeps creating "their things", constantly building them into a couple that has their own behaviors and traits in common, before they even become a real couple. Now it's a shirt grabbing. I love it, I love it when something like this appears and I know 100% that I and the rest of the fans are in these moments like 👀👀 *di Caprio pointing at tv meme*. For me, it's a very important part of a romance when the couple has their "things". "Don't let me hear you talking about you being dead ever again" is such a powerful phrase. Raw. Just as Phaya likes.
I REALLY LIKED THIS WHOLE SCENE WITH THE FURIOUS PHAYA. Everything was perfect here. I really like that Phaya got the opportunity to show this side of him. That he is shown as an angry man, that he is not an ideal man who can control his - also negative - emotions in every situation. Normally, I don't like or tolerate such situations, because the reasons for such outbursts are usually stupid. In this case, I absolve Phaya of his aggressive behavior and his outburst of anger towards Tharn, pushing him away. It wasn't ignoring his calls, which Phaya immediately confronted and resolved. It wasn't an outburst out of jealousy or something like that. This is a completely different, serious situation that only partially concerns his relationship with Tharn. I'm absolutely sure that Phaya has often wondered whether he is mentally ill and that it is a source of a serious fear for him. Mental illness is a taboo in all cultures around the world, as Tharn himself says at the beginning of the series regarding his visions. A physically ill person will be perceived differently than a mentally ill person and Tharn knows this, PHAYA KNOWS THIS and Dr. Poison knows this. The second thing is that Phaya genuinely cares for and trusts Tharn. So at this point Phaya is in agony because not only has his most personal fears been brought to light, it was done by a stranger, a person he can't stand, who is his rival, who finishes him off with the final blow in a calm way when everything inside him is falling apart, but what's more, the blow came from a direction that Phaya DIDN'T expect at all. Phaya asks Tharn several times: "Why did you do that?" because he feels BETRAYED. Phaya is also a proud man who wants his beloved to see only "good and cool" qualities in him, which is completely normal in any relationship, hence his heartbreaking question "DO YOU THINK I'M NUTS?" Really, this scene is great: - Phaya angry, humiliated, hurt, betrayed, barely able to control himself (but even then he doesn't hurt Tharn, the scene is full of aggression and screaming, but Phaya never once crosses the impassable (for me) boundary, he doesn't beat Tharn, it's not even a fight, only two adult, trained men, one of whom pins the other) -Tharn, who is shocked because for the first time Phaya ignores him, does not look at him, it is clear that he is truly angry with him. You can see how Tharn is lost in this new situation, as he stands uncertainly and asks "I'm talking to you. Can you hear me?". And even then, he immediately shows concern for Phaya and his wound on his forehead
I'm grateful for showing this version of Phaya, and also for showing him as a silly, goofy guy throughout the episode in various funny scenes. 👌👌
My theory is that Tharn didn't tell the doctor about Phaya's dreams, I feel like the doctor KNOWS about everything and is a figure who simply has knowledge of what's going on as a deity. He knows when Tharn is especially close to Phaya, as seen in the temple scene, the kiss scene, in breaking of the photo frame, also when he tells Phaya that they will see each often other from now on, when he invites him to dinner with the clear intention of destroying him. I feel like the doc just KNOWS about Phaya's dreams.
Wild theory time! To expand on my original theory, this old woman/girl has helped Wansarat in the past and is helping him now. Wansarat is reborn and in each incarnation dies in childhood as punishment for what he did while saving his lover, Garuda. But this time he survived because he was placed under the care of the abbot of the temple, which is,in a way, his temple. And now, for a first time, Wansarat as Tharn is all grown up and delicious and the one for whom Wansart was originally intended - Dr. Bitch - he finally has a chance to get him. If it weren't for that Pesky Bird 😀
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novelmonger · 3 months
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So I'm a pretty big LotR fan. And I'm a pretty big fan of the movies. No, they're not perfect, but they're a really good adaptation and a truly masterful work of cinematic art. I've grown pretty familiar with the movies over the past 23 years (@_@) - and not just the movies themselves, but I also love learning all about how they were made. I've watched all the way through all the bonus material in the Extended Editions at least five times (and some of the more fun bits way more times than that XD). I've even watched all three movies with the cast commentary.
But you know what I've never done, not even at the height of my obsession when I had way more free time than I do now? I've never watched the movies with the other commentaries. It looks like there are three more commentaries, with different groups of various people on the crew, and for some reason I never got around to listening through them. I can't for the life of me think why - maybe I thought I already knew everything they'd talk about? maybe I somehow thought it would be boring??? - but today that changes!
I'm going to just jot down the main things that stick out to me that I didn't know before. I've gleaned a lot of BTS information and stories about these movies from various sources, so I'm not sure how long this will be, but I'm sure there will be some new things that jump out at me.
From the FotR writer/director commentary with Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, and Fran Walsh:
There was a draft of the script where they didn't have a prologue, and all the information about Sauron and the Ring and Gollum and everything was going to be in that conversation between Frodo and Gandalf @_@ Can you imagine? I mean, yeah, it would be more like the book, but At What Cost? (At the cost of several memes and short attention spans, that's what.)
Peter Jackson says he doesn't like magic or wizards in movies. Um...sir? Why the heck are you making fantasy movies then???
The location where they shot the Ford of Bruinen was a real ford that was used during the gold rush in New Zealand! Because New Zealand had a gold rush around the same time as the one in the U.S.!
Hugo Weaving actually did the voice of Isildur when he claims the Ring and says, "No." I have...questions.
Peter Jackson says the journey through Moria is the best sequence in the book, and Fran and Philippa say it's the best-written chapter. Interesting! I don't know what I would point to as the best-written chapter of FotR; I don't think I've ever thought of that (though I might say some of the best descriptions in this book are in Rivendell).
They said they might redo the Gollum scene in Moria to make him look more like he does in TTT. Uhhh...it's been 23 years, guys, where's my remaster? XD
The Frodo-Gandalf conversation in Moria (the "all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us" conversation) was done with forced perspective??? I never realized that! I thought they just had Elijah sit a little lower than Ian so their eyelines would be right! They totally look like they're looking into each other's eyes, but they're not! :O
"Often in movies, that's a rare thing, to have shots in which nothing is real." - Oh, PJ, if you only knew what the state of things would be in two decades....
The scene of the Fellowship mourning Gandalf outside Moria was filmed before Ian McKellan had even arrived in New Zealand! :O So they were all mourning and reacting to the death of someone they probably weren't even sure what he looked like yet!
Sean Bean was apparently the only one of the primary actors who had any experience with a sword? Or at least he had the most experience. Viggo had to do the Weathertop fight scene on his first day, when he'd never touched a sword before @_@
In Boromir's death scene, the words sung by the chorus in the background is an Elvish translation of Faramir's line "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." ;A;
At one point, they were going to have Frodo fighting off an Uruk-Hai before he goes into the boat??? They even shot some of the footage?! Thankfully, they realized that was completely the wrong way to go about his end to this movie; it needed to be an emotional climax, not an action scene, and Frodo's victory is over his own doubts and the Ring's influence on him, when he grasps the Ring and marches forward to continue on his Quest, alone if need be. Thank goodness they realized that before it was too late.
SEAN ASTIN WAS NOT UNDERWATER IN THE SHOT OF HIM DROWNING WHAAAAAT MIND BLOWN
The shot of Boromir's boat going over the edge of the waterfall was actually footage of a barrel going over the Niagara Falls, and they just used CG to replace the barrel with the boat O.O
Fran Walsh: So Viggo's just put on Boromir's gauntlets... Me, a nerd: Vambraces, actually.
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sauroff · 3 months
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I want to bring up something serious here for once, because I joined a new Silmarillion group on FB (I'm old, ok?), and it's a particularly inclusive space BUT, because of that, there is a lot of debates going on. And I wasn't allowed to make this point there because the admins were saturated with risky posts.
I have seen a lot of people say things like "Tolkien wasn't racist/anti semitic because he was against fascism!". And I'm not here to discuss the logic on that, or accuse Tolkien of any of those. I'm here to bring up the fact that Tolkien supported Franco.
I get that to most people (even to me) he is not as well known as Hitler or Mussolini, but still. Tolkien supported him, a fascist and a terrible dictator, because of anti communism and very Catholics views. Franco's opposition burned catholic churches and killed nuns and priests. Now, I don't want to get into detail about the reasons behind that, and how different those actions are viewed depending on your history (For Tolkien, to whom being catholic make him part of a minority, this was very different to what it's for people from actual catholic countries in general and latin Americans in particular, in which the church, as an institution, was always complicit of dictatorships and oppression).
Even Lewis had called Roy Campbell, a poet who fought with Franco, as a sort of catholic fascist. And Tolkien considered that Lewis was just under the influence of red propaganda, believing only the things said against Franco. He couldn't understand Lewis reactions to Campbell's stories about his fight
This is mostly talked about in letter 83 which, I must admit, I haven't read. I have read other people's summaries of it. If anyone knows of some place where I could read it, please reach out and tell me.
My point here is not bashing on Tolkien. I've decided long ago I prefer not to engage too much with his personal history, since my position as a latin american, born so many years after him, raised as a catholic in a catholic country, with a VERY different history around it, makes my personal views very opposed to his in many levels.
My point is to bring awareness on the fact that Tolkien did indeed support one fascist regimen, and this is ignored by most people. I think it's not just that Franco is not as known for some as the other two, it's also that he seems to have a very different weight for those that speak Spanish and those who don't. For starters, this facts it's not included in his English wiki, while it's included on the one in Spanish. For me, that I usually try to read the English sources for English themed things, this meant that I didn't know about this until some days ago, and I learnt it through a meme.
So yeah, I just needed to tell this in case some other people are just as ignorant as me on this. Because the whole "Tolkien was against fascism" is something I have read too many times and never questioned, tbh. But maybe it was just me.
Picture of the Spanish wiki just for attention
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