Guys in the nicest way possible.... blue eye samurai does not owe you canon queer rep. I'm so sorry, but mizu is not canonically queer in any aspect. I know yall are gonna be pissed at me for saying this and TRUST ME as a sapphic person I am just as tired of shitty rep and queerbaiting as much as the next person BUT PLEASE TAKE A STEP BACK AND TRY TO VIEW THIS MEDIA CRITICALLY. Blue eye samurai is a historical piece about a woman. Whether you like it or not, THAT was the writers intention. Now with that said PLEASE post your HCs for mizu I love seeing all of them, but please please PLEAAAASE DONT witch hunt people or the creators of the show for not catering to your specific experience because they do not owe it to you.

hi, i am broken hearted after dating someone for a month. they wanted to stay as friends and i reacted negatively. i hurt them with my words/actions, and recently tried to ask for a second chance after being in a better headspace. but they no longer want to be friends but hope that i am well. do you have a piece or compilation for these feelings?

baek sehee (tr. anton hur) i want do die but i want to eat tteokbokki \\ trista mateer aphrodite made me do it \\ antoine de saint-exupéry in letters to natalie paley (via @metamorphesque) \\ muusubu hagi kind of blue \\ kim addonizio what is thing called love: "stolen moments" \\ judy clarkson reciprocal \\ eliza griswold wideawake field: poems: "flood" \\ herve constant no no no... \\ margo schopf you're my sister, but i don't know who you are \\ clarice lispector the hour of the star

kofi

wait sorry i saw a post and now im annoyed but like yall know you don’t have to be apart of fandoms right?? like you don’t have to do anything with fandoms. its okay to just enjoy things you like on your own or with friends. “you know what this fandoms like” no i really don’t. nor do i want to. “that fandoms toxic” probably but like???? im not subjecting myself to that. just bc i like something and post a lot about it doesn’t mean im apart of a fandom. it means im going to enjoy my little game or show bc thats what its there for. i dont go out my way to see what the fandom is like. dont let random strangers on the internet ruin a piece of media for you. now go have fun i love you.

Round One

[ID: Two images of shiny pokemon. On the left is a silver grey corviknight. On the right is a brown, yellow and blue krokorok. End ID]

I read Fabrizio’s (Fernando’s physio) interview about how Fernando does a heart rate variability test every morning and also like a sweat test and just the immense amount of work he puts in his training, diet, etc etc. And I was like “wow” because, from the outside, it’s really admirable how much he gives of himself into his craft and everything but i was also thinking like, from the perspective of those close to him (family, friends, gfs) do they ever think that it’s just too much after so many years?? like dude chill out? I don’t know but it all reminded me of the movie Whiplash 💀 the thin line between passion and obsession. I do hope all of this pays off for him tho, he deserves it.

me wanting to share the alien au I made of sun and moon but not sure anyone would read the fic or pay attention to it 🥲🥲

Favorite ship that you originally didn't care for (or perhaps hated)?

I wouldn’t say it’s a FAVE but I definitely was not a fan of Milo/Amanda (from MML) at first. Mostly because of the way Amanda treated him like a ticking time bomb all the time 😭 And basically excluded him from stuff bc she didn’t want Murphy’s Law to ruin her plans. Which like. I GET that. And a lot of it is bc she’s very meticulous with her planning. But there’s a very clear example of people who are chill with Murphy’s Law, even in situations where they’d rather avoid it (points at Melissa and Zack repeatedly).

BUT. I really love the slow transition from Amanda seeing Milo and running for the hills to her starting to accept that while Murphy’s Law is absolute chaos sometimes things work out for the better. Especially since Milo’s always so adaptable. And seeing Amanda actually NOTICE that about him and start to really respect him for that. Which eventually leads to her really admiring him and loving how spontaneous he is, which is the complete opposite of how she is. And eventually that develops into a full blown crush and it’s SO cute (and Milo clearly has a thing for her too!) I think the moment that really hammered it in for me was when Milo and Joni were getting a little too friendly and the instant Milo turned his back Amanda came charging over shouting HE’S MINE like that absolutely cracked me up lmao

Anyway long story short I didn’t like the ship bc Milo is baby and deserves the world but eventually Amanda realized that and now she’s on the Murphy train with everyone else

I CARE THEM

it really does vex me quite a bit when dick is unironically portrayed (in either canon or fanon) as incompetent or even comically infantile when it comes to domestic tasks, the way he handles people, and especially the things he does out in the field that he undeniably has the skills and experience to deal with since…well, since forever. it’s like he’s barely even trying, in comparison to other characters (that’s a whole separate conversation, how often he gets dumbed down because it’s easier to use him as a prop that do any real character work). but tracing his whole origin, competence and reliability are the core aspects of his self conduct. and it’s not like he’s supposed to be some annoying perfect paragon the way some people (both real and fictional) paint him as; he’s far from perfect, but the struggles he’s had as a person stem from that pressure he puts on himself to be someone that people can trust. if you lose sight of that, the mistakes he makes no longer carry the emotional depth and developmental heft that such a conflict demands. he’s constantly fighting for his own personhood, to stand on his own while also having earned the right to stand by others (in his view). independence was a key factor in him creating a new identity for himself, but he also acknowledges the people in his life who he felt shaped his outlook. he wants to be his own man, but he needs people he can trust and he needs them to trust in him. he spent his formative years catching people he cared about, and being caught by people he cared about. that’s what makes him who he is, the good and the bad. let him take pride in that, and recognize that nobody’s trying to make him a mary sue type—his issues are the direct consequence of the stakes he sets up for himself by endlessly striving to be reliable. setting the standard and the chance of falling short even by a little tortures him a lot.

Long, tired sigh.

The fact that Snow is a very bad man doesn’t mean he didn’t love Lucy Gray. The fact that their love story was toxic, built on obsession and ends horribly doesn’t mean it wasn’t a love story. Love can be ugly too.

sorry for the MPJ jumpscare but this is a great story about jokić and jusuf nurkić from nuggets president josh kroenke

I was watching clips from Little Women 2019 on YouTube (im so normal about that movie) and on the one with Jo Friedrich getting together at the end, people were commenting “oh I’m so glad Jo found the capacity to love another person romantically because she would be a static character if not. They were so sweet together 🥰” and I had to close the tab because HNG,,,,,,

Firstly, it was heavily heavily implied that the ending where Jo gets together with him was simply made up for the sake of the publisher due to prejudices and constraints of that time period (which was reflected in Alcott’s own experiences of trying to get little women published). This was supported by the colour grading of the scene and it’s place in the story: it’s warm-toned and Jo hadn’t been characterised in any way that would suggest she wanted to be in a romantic relationship for the whole story. Her loneliness is not a byproduct of wanting romantic love, but of living as a struggling artist in the oppressive patriarchal standards of her time; there’s also the fact that her family is moving on and growing up all around her as she’s the only one left behind in her family home, which is further emphasised by the fact that she’s the one constantly clinging to the simplicities of the past. She considers accepting Laurie’s proposal not because she loves him in a romantic way or wants romance, but because life is a fucking struggle. And that’s why Friedrich showing up at her doorstep, from the perspective of a viewer, especially because he hadn’t shown up at all since the film’s opening, is jarring as hell. But it’s deliberately paced to be and ignoring this in order to make such a statement as “oh finally the perfect man for Jo” INFURIATES me. Especially when the scene under the rain? The confession scene? Was the cheesiest culmination of every romantic trope ever. This - accentuated by the jarring shift in themes and character - was a brilliant meta-commentary on actual criticism of the book where it felt like Jo married Friedrich out of nowhere.

Which brings me to the next thing - romantic love being seen as the be-all, end all for… everything. (coldest take of all time but unfortunately, not cold enough apparently) It’s not!!!!!!! Absolutely nothing against it (I love my ships as much as the next person) but when a filmmaker pays such attention in her commentary to love and societal perceptions around it, when she explores sisterly love and motherly love and platonic love etc. all so thoroughly. And you still leave thinking Jo was happiest and fulfilled when she gets together with Friedrich. I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve seen people say that the ending is ambiguous (and it is rather) but I’ve only ever seen it this way and I just don’t agree with the interpretation that Jo just gets married happily in the film because if so, holy crap was it paced/set up badly. All evidence just points to the contrary in terms of character, and themes, and just how the film is structured. And it’s genius! It’s one of the reasons why the film is one of my all time favourites. It’s such effective satire on how society (back then and evidently now) views romantic relationships. So it just makes me so annoyed when people ignore the nuance

Ok *breathes* I’ll stop

thoughts on mordred’s story arc

oh boy do i have thoughts on mordred's story arc. (warning: theyre allll over the place)

here's the thing: i legitimately think that it was a good story arc, one of the best. i love bbc merlin and the charm of its terribleness, but the character arcs rly do piss me off. the constant and consistent problem with almost all of them is that the characters will change massively for... kind of no reason?

for example, when morgana began to hate arthur and want him dead and stuff—that development came out of nowhere. for the entire series up until that point, she had loved and cared for him. now, all of the sudden, she wants him dead?? now, it had made sense for uther. he had done terrible things to morgana and could very clearly see the line between her love and hate for him. you could to watch her tip-toe along it in real time until she began plotting his murder. that arc made sense. but arthur? there was no point where we saw arthur do anything that would make her hate him the way she did. he was just randomly lumped together with uther as another pendragon she had to kill to get the throne. but, again, it doesn't make sense! she never lumped them together. in the episode To Kill the King, morgana directly compares arthur and uther by telling him that, "You're a better man than your father. Always were." again, she never lumped them together! yet, later on, that's exactly what she does.

anyways, that was a bit of a mini-rant, but it was illustrating the point that bbc merlin was terrible at providing reasoning for their characters' arcs.

mordred's, tho? made sense. the reason he wanted to kill arthur was because arthur killed the girl he loved, kara. now, do i think that we should have spent more time with kara? absolutely! do i think that mordred's story as a whole made sense? of course not!

like, his connection to morgana never made total sense to me? i just wish that we got to see a lot more of his bond with her. when he ends up leaving morgana to join arthur, it feels kind of dry. like, yes, this is big and important and everything, but the only emotions i felt were panic from merlin. a bit more distress and grief over the lost relationship between morgana and mordred would have made the story infinitely better.

but i sort of get why they didn't do that, and its because they didn't show too much of mordred's emotions at all—he was a very bland character, tbh. with the rest of the cast, we know them through their emotions. everything they did was reasoned by what they felt. with mordred, we know him through his actions. he does a lot of stuff that i wish was more fueled by emotions the audience could actually decipher. tbh, when he killed arthur, it felt kind of out of place to me, because it was one of the first times we actually saw him do something so obviously fueled by his emotions.

overall, i think mordred's arc was objectively good because his actions did make sense. he did everything for a reason. i just think it would have been a million times better if we got to see his emotions more and watch them explicitly fuel the things he did. if they had done that, i think arthur's death would have made a lot more sense and hit a lot harder, because we would be able to justify it. when they distanced us from mordred, it was easy to hate him. i would have liked to see the audience's emotional turmoil if mordred had been a character that they could actually understand and relate to:)

I started listening to Home by Pinkshift per your recommendation to Narilamb fans and now I need you to know that this song has had me absolutely WRECKED for the last three days /pos

Yay! 💛 \^w^/ /lh

Id highly recommend listening to some of their other songs too! Home is actually a bit different from their usual brand of rock but I still really like it! tracks like “the kids aren’t alright” (every alt/rock band has to make a track titled that I feel like /hj cause like. There’s at least two others that do) and “BURN THE WITCH” are a couple more of my faves that make me want to dance aggressively lol

Genuinely so happy I actually got people to listen to it 💛💛💛 SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT!!!!! It’s the song that originally got me into their music!

Hey random tumblr person, i have a somewhat invasive medical question that you are free to ignore (if you do decide to respond, please do so privately)

Would you mind telling me what the name of the doctor at U of M that ignored your referral? I have several friends in michigan that are trying to get MCAS treatment and I was hoping to tell them to avoid that person.

If you have any further advice i can send their way about getting diagnosed/treated for MCAS in michigan, i would also appreciate that

oh man. I think it was dr akin. he's umich's mast cell guy, but he specializes in mastocytosis not mcas. when my musculoskeletal dr said there wasnt anything more they could do do help, i asked to be referred to immuno about maybe mcas. dr said that they would only see me if i had a positive tryptose blood test, which is the Big Test in mastocytosis. but i dont have that, i have mcas, which is a different thing entirely, and doesnt show up on that test.

basically what ive discovered is that drs only diagnose like 5 diseases each, and if u dont have that disease they send you away. except for my primary care, who was like a 60 yo old school dr dude, no one tried to discover or learn about other conditions to help.

i understand its bc they have like an 8 month waitlist so they probably try to only get patients who have stuff they know the best. but christ at least this guy knows what a mast cell IS. i should probably try to get in with him again. ugh.

But yeah i dont have a diagnosis. also if theyre looking into immunologists around the state i recommend like doing some research on the dr before booking. the one random immunologist i saw said i couldnt have mcas bc i didnt have hives, and that hey you know you could be sick bc your on testosterone those hormones haha.(T being notorious as the hormone that makes joints hurt less) So now i try to not see old drs.

I think you should talk to your friend about how what they said made you feel. Explain that it sounded like they made a lot of assumptions about your struggles and it was really hurtful. I think to talk it out is better than to let these feelings fester and build up. I'm sure they didn't mean it, or just didn't realize saying that could be hurtful. Best wishes :)✨

Yeah I should probably talk about it with her at some point, but I'll do it if the topic comes naturally because if I just bring it up outta nowhere she'll know it's been bothering me for a while and I really don't want her to feel like I'm angry at her. It really isn't her fault and it's more the fault of the way people see us trans men in general, it's just that it hurt to have someone I care about tell me that I haven't faced any discrimination when she knows me personally. Maybe it's because I really haven't talked much to her about how much abuse I went through?? It's not really a topic I like to discuss during lunch lol.

But yeah I should talk about it to her at some point, I just gotta find a way to do it without hurting her feelings cause I don't want her doing anything dumb, because she really cares about me and as I said. It's not really her fault, it's the fault of everyone always downplaying the issues trans men go through