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#sorry but i unironically love this film sm
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new moon | "when you left... and he left... you took everything with you"
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kalorphic · 2 years
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Me, after reading that ask about the ros talents/hobbies: So K is very flexible huh? Interesting... 👀 Does that mean... they and MC could... practice yoga together??
Lmao, jk jk but since we are on this topic, could you tell us what activities would the ros choose to spend some time with the MC?? (Like, would they prefer to do something outdoorsy like going hiking or maybe something more chill like watching a movie together, idk if I'm explaining this correctly but oh well).
I'm loving what you've told us of the story so far but what I'm in love most of all are the characters, they're just asdjajjskajska😍, I'll give my heart to all of them if I didn't need it to, well, live i guess but it's the thought that counts?? Also, your answers to these asks make everything 10 times better, you seem like a really cool human so I'm excited to see how you bring this story to life.
Wow this ask got longer than I thought it would, ups? Well, thanks for coming up with such lovable characters, take care of yourself and remember to stay hydrated!!! (And sorry if any of this is weirdly worded, English is not my first language but I really wanted to send this)
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My heart is melting right now, I’m not sure this is healthy, but what the heck! This ask is too cute! Please don’t literally give your heart to the ROs though, as you said you’re gonna need your ticker. Haha thank you sm, but I just used the word ticker unironically, I am in fact actually an 80yo trapped in a 20yo body. I’m so glad that you’re excited though!!!❤️
I mean I don’t know if you’re joking or not, but K actually does do yoga (and so do I! I really recommend it!). So yeah, do yoga with K and try not to get too distracted *wink wonk*.
I got to the end of this ask and saw that English wasn’t your first language and was like huh??? I’m pretty sure you write better English than most English people so don’t worry about that!
As for your ask, it’s going under the cut to shorten this a little lol!
K would do anything that involves being active with you: yoga, hiking, rock climbing, or swimming just to name a few. However, they also love the idea of curling up with you indoors while you both do your own things.
A would love to take you to museums or monuments, anything historical really, and what’s even better is they know loads of really niche sites that tourists don’t really know about!
Reese would love to take you onto the rooftop garden above their penthouse apartment (if you aren’t afraid of heights) to either stargaze with them, or just watch the world go by.
Luisa would take you to all her favourite little cafes/restaurants, she knows all the owners and they all love her, so expect a lot of free desserts.
Cody loves to party, so if you were comfortable with that, they’d love to take you with them. If it wasn’t something you were comfortable with then Cody would like to cuddle on the sofa watching films with you.
Noah would love you to accompany them for a dog walk and picnic in some of the most beautiful parks you’ll ever see.
Thank you for your ask and take care of yourself as well!
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twtrv · 6 years
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an accurate guide about red velvet
So since so many people are getting into Red Velvet recently, I decided to make a guide to help them out. You know, give yall some slack because learning five names is super hard. A guide accompanied by my half-assed jokes, interesting. 
PSA: If you’re only here to stan the girls because of their recent comebacks like Peek-A-Boo and Bad Boy and are going to drop them as soon as they release tracks similar to Dumb Dumb and Ice Cream Cake, leave because we don’t want you here.
Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get straight to business (TO DEFEAT THE HUNS WHY DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS)
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Basic Facts
Red Velvet is a South Korean girl group formed by SM Entertainment in 2014.
There are five members (OT4 stans can choke).
They debuted on August 1st in 2014 with a single called “Happiness”.
Fandom name is Reveluv. Since “rêve” means “dream” in French, the meaning behind the fandom name is that us, Reveluvs, make their dreams come true and Red Velvet gives us their immense love in return, thus the “luv” part. Sometimes they also call us “Luvies”.
Official fandom colour is pastel coral and not red because l o g i c
The fact that they were formed by SM Entertainment doesn’t mean they got a free ride to the top so sit your entitled asses down, thanks.
Now, you see, they weren’t actually supposed to debut in 2014. I bet you must be confused but don’t worry, it is I, your trusty homie, that is gonna help you realize how many similarities every student has with SM lmao plus the reason for their early debut.
2014 was a rough year for our buddy Lee Soo Man. Jessica left Girl’s Generation; Sulli left f(x); Kris, Tao and Luhan left EXO... This, of course, caused a goddamn World War III amongst the fans of the respective groups. They were about to go in front of the official SM building with torches and pitchforks to demand SM to step up their game. To calm the situation down, our amigo SM must have thought: “Welp I sure fucked up. How the hell do I fix this? Wait, I have an idea! Let’s debut another girl group to cover up all the shit that has been piling up for years now!” 
And your boi gone and did it. He basically debuted another group despite the number of problems he had to deal with already. This is every student ever, just make another problem to cover up the first one.
Red Velvet debuted with four members; Irene, Seulgi, Wendy and Joy. The “Happiness” music video got 2 million views in a day and was the most viewed kpop music video for the month of August in 2014. See, the queens already breaking records.
However, the original version of “Happiness” was full of controversial topics such as 9/11 being the most prominent one. This caused such hate to the girls that everyone started calling them “flops”. Lmao Red Velvet stays unbothered as the kpop act with the most Billboard charted albums bYE.
Some of you still may be wondering what the hell happened with Yeri. Well, because their debut was rushed and due to her age, Yeri, unfortunately, couldn’t debut with them. When Red Velvet debuted, Yeri was 15 years old so basically a child. 
“bUt jiSUnG fROM ncT DreAM dEBuTed wHeN hE WAs onlY FoUrteEn”
Before, there was a law which stated that kids under the age of 16 couldn’t debut.
No need to worry fellow Yeri stans! Red Velvet only released another single called “Be Natural” before Yeri was officially added. The single featured NCT’s Taeyong on it too so if you are one of those fangirls, better go and check it out because your oppar is there + it is an underrated bop.
Yeri was added to the group during Ice Cream Cake era! Of course, many people hated her, acting as if Red Velvet released so many songs and solved world hunger without Yeri. Um, bitch they had two songs take a seat.
Discography and music in general lol
IT IS GOLD!1!!!!111!!
Okay listen, every single song of theirs makes me thot-drop in the middle of the goddamn school. Jesus Christ sunbaenim is shaking.
Albums:  Ice Cream Cake, The Red, The Velvet, Russian Roulette, Rookie, The Red Summer, Perfect Velvet, The Perfect Red Velvet.
Queens of naming their albums don’t even @ me.
Listen to every single song if you want to cure your depression, clear your skin, feed your children and harvest your crops. Seriously, all of their b-sides are so amazing and such bops they are worth a listen and you, as a person who chose to stan Red Velvet, deserve to have your ears cleansed.
Another topic that I want to bring up is “the red concept” and “the velvet concept”. It is not complicated. Basically what it means is that they split their concepts into two. The red concepts are more upbeat, catchy and poppy songs such as Dumb Dumb, Rookie, Russian Roulette etc. However, the velvet concept is where they show their mature, more serious ballads. Songs that represent the velvet side are Automatic, One of These Nights, Peek-A-Boo etc.
They filmed 13 music videos so you are going to get attacked by visuals 13 times, good luck.
The members 
The most interesting and fun part of this guide to be honest. So yeah, five members and five completely different personalities. Trust me, you’re gonna love every single one of these girls because they all have such amazing personalities and are extremely funny. Get abroad the homo express!
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- Stage name: Irene
- Real name: Bae Joohyun
- Colour: Pink
- Position: Leader, Visual, Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocal
- She really is a bae tho we love a powerful woman
- Born on March 29th, 1991; the eldest
- She literally looks five what the fuck
- tiny
- Takes pictures of everyone and everything so that she can stare at them while she does the laundry because she is such a mom
- “Shut the fuck up I am not a mom”
- A GODDESS PLUS TOP VISUAL OF THIS GENERATION NO PRINTER JUST FAX
- loves pussy
- Drinks men tears to stay hydrated
- Forgets names of her kids aka the rest of Red Velvet
- Snorts laundry detergent
- Talk shit get hit
- Silent but plotting world domination with her at the top
- Speaking of tops, she doms bYE
- She survived the World War II and was Stalin's deskmate when they were in the third grade
- xXButtLoverXx
- Likes winning. Who got to the finish line first? Her. Who travelled to space first? Her. Who found the cure for world hunger? Her.
- Actually very talented in everything she does and is a blessing to humanity
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- Stage name: Seulgi
- Real name: Kang Seulgi
- Colour: Orange
- Position: Main Dancer, Lead Vocal
- Either as fluffy as a teddy bear or a fucking sex God there is no in between
- Born on February 10th, 1994; second eldest
- hER EYES MAKE ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY
- She, in general, makes me question my sexuality
- also tiny
- “Hello I am the 71st prettiest face in the world”
- First half of the “DD” also known as “Dumbass Duo”
- Someone help her she is lost in time and space
- The type of person to put a red sock to wash with the whites
- Is not capable of doing the splits because she dumb lmao
- How the fuck is one this confused???
- Gets bullied by her members a lot
- A sunshine in human form. You know that sun from the Teletubbies? That be Seulgi
- Her abs make me feel like Kylie Jenner, y’know... pregnant
- “If there’s no food I’m going home”
- THE number one fan of Beyonce™
- Pringles advocate
- She didn’t train for 7 years to have people shit talking her because she is multitalented and leaves people all around the world shooketh
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- Stage name: Wendy
- Real name: Son Seungwan
- Colour: Blue
- Position: Main Vocal, English speaker
- Is also a HELLA good rapper
- Born on February 21st, 1994; third eldest
- Used to live in Toronto when she was younger, her English proceeds to give everyone a boner
- the tiniest out of all
- The kpop singer with the widest vocal range (this is an actual fact)
- “S H I N E  O N  M E”
- So caring it makes me bawl. She literally cooks for everyone and is so supportive it is truly beautiful
- Is actually the one behind the iconic “PARK SOOYOUNG! WHEN YOU SMILE I SMILE TOO”
- If she ever covers your song, you can say goodbye to it because it’s hers now
- A soccer mom
- Also that famous Kris Jenner “You’re doing amazing sweetie” meme
- Rescue her scalp someone pls
- Probably used “WHOMST” once in her lifetime unironically
- The gayest out of all the gays
- She is a boob person and also has a very nice butt Irene knows
- Once stacked a gazillion hats on top of her head because why the fuck not
- Is also a sexy pornstar ... no wait, I meant a “saxophonist”
- Is so beautiful and deserves all the love in this entire world but the world doesn’t deserve her at all 
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- Stage name: Joy
- Real name: Park Sooyoung
- Colour: Green
- Position: Lead Rapper, Lead Vocal, Mood-maker
- + an actress
- Born on September 3rd, 1996: fourth eldest
- Invented “cute” and “sexy” don’t fight me on this
- TALL (for a Red Velvet member lmfao)
- Has the prettiest profile, God took extra time in crafting such a masterpiece
- Speaking of God... God is real and in a form of Park Sooyoung
- Likes finer things in life such as herself
- If the song “Me Too” was a human, it would be her
- Ruthless
- When she gets scared her soul deadass leaves her body and it is hilarious
- A dramatic bitch
- HAS THE BEST BODY SORRY YALL CAN’T COMPETE
- Can get very angery
- Probably was kinkshamed by someone once
- Is having a mental breakdown at every waking moment
- “Can you stop I’m very sensitive”
- Tom to Yeri’s Jerry
- Just the most amazing human being, an all-rounder and a happy virus
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- Stage name: Yeri
- Real name: Kim Yerim
- Colour: Purple
- Position: Maknae, Lead Rapper, Sub Dancer, Vocal, Songwriter
- Is being an absolute savage a talent?
- Born on March 5th, 1999; the youngest
- The other half of the “Dumbass Duo”
- So much sass is contained in this tiny human being
- Plans to take over SM soon one day
- HAS THE MOST CONTAGIOUS LAUGH IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND IT IS SO GENUINE I LOVE IT
- Likes pineapple on pizza cancelled
- The OG Sone
- A mess
-  (ง •̀_•́)ง
- Not a big spoon nor a little spoon, she a knife
- Tries her best
- Knows everyone and everything; what a social butterfly it warms my heart
- Likes to read smut so all of you smut fanfiction writers, watch out, she is lurking
- SPEAKING OF LURKING
- She lowkey had a fan account that was all about Girl’s Generation
- A woman we all aspire to be
- Is an actual cinnamon roll that yes, could kill you but everyone loves her because she really improved a lot. WE WATCHED HER GROW UP INTO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SHE IS NOW B L E S S
Popular ships, let’s play a game where you guess which two people are paired up (not like it is completely obvious)
SEULRENE 
WENRENE
WENSEUL
JOYRI
YERENE
JOYGI
JOYDY
WENRI
SEULRI
Ending note
On a more serious note, Red Velvet is an amazing girl group that deserves so much more. I hope this at least got you to check them out. If not, your loss lol.
I could use a fuckton adjectives to describe their perfection but trust me, that ain’t enough.
Anyways, OT4 stans can fuck off, don’t comment on this post.
Just love all the girls and don’t point out their insecurities in a rude way mmkay?
This is all from me and I hope you enjoyed and that this helped you and maybe made you chuckle (maybe?)
If there is another question that you want me to answer, ask me because I would love to.
P.S. It doesn’t have to be Red Velvet related because I am trash that stans more groups than the number of bad jokes I made in this post.
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