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stealingyourbones · 2 years

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Superboy meets Danny

Ok. Let me explain my points here. First of all, Things these boys got in common:

Was cloned by a crazy billionaire (Match & Dani)

Has a father who doesn’t understand or is actively trying to stop/kill them

Trying their best to not be related to said crazy billionaire who cloned them

The crazy billionaire is also a villain

Rebellious teen

Has a trio friend group that (is partially) comprised of a tech geek and rich friend.

That’s all I can think of just at the moment! There’s so much more. These bitches would be a force to be reckoned with if they ever met.

Danny goes to Metropolis on a school trip. You know how some American schools will have a weekend trip to DC? Every year the Juniors in the school have the opportunity to go to Metropolis.

Danny’s parents happily give Danny the money and permission to go.

With the only drawback that you have to write a paper on the history of how superheroes changed america, Danny was ecstatic to go.

Danny, Dash, Sam, and Tucker are all put in a team to explore Metropolis and collect information for their paper. Their first stop: An impressive viewing deck on the top of a 30 story building that has a good view on the city's skyline that was streamlined so Superman could have easy access to rooftops and all building entrances.

The four are on the viewing deck and taking photos of the view and informational plaques when Intergang attacks the building they’re in with Apoklyptian tech.

One of their gizmos is like a flamethrower on steroids that’s able to shoot a stream of fire dozens of stories high. Within minutes the first 10 stories are completely engulfed in flame. Danny, not wanting to expose his secret identity to Dash, tells everyone to shout for Superman because he supposedly helped people in distress who shouted his name.

Superboy shows up a minute later. Not who they expected but they weren’t picky with who was saving them with over half the building engulfed in flame and no escape in sight.

Danny is super casually talking to Superboy and flirting back and forth as they’re flown down to the street. Dash is confused because Danny Fenton, the kid who he beats the shit out of on the daily and has no bitches, is chatting up Superboy like they’ve known each other for years, and Dash knows damn well that they’ve never met before. Danny can’t make friends with a superhero before him so Dash tries to do his cool guy act on Superboy.

Dash probably shouldn’t have tried to insult someone who was a superpowered teen and flying him hundreds of feet above solid ground because Superboy did NOT like that. He shot down Dash with insults so scathing that Dash is pretty sure the rest of his entire bloodline won’t be able to recover.

After that Dash knew to simply shut up as Superboy brought the rest of the crew to the ground. Just before he was about to leave, Superboy slipped Danny a piece of paper, winked, and mimed “call me” before flying off.

…Did Danny just score a date with THE Superboy?!

Well, not a date per se, but Danny DID get Superboy’s number. They met up as much as they could over the weekend that Danny was in Metropolis and quickly became fast friends.

These two are an incredibly tight duo who are some of the most mischievous motherfuckers ever when left to their own devices.

One of those times is when they convinced Tucker to hack into the Batcomputer. Superboy told him what he knew and Tucker went to work.

Twenty or so minutes later, Barbara and Tim are freaking the fuck out because they were both on monitor duty and someone hacked into the batcomputer. After panicking and tracing back the hack, they take over the hackers computer camera and see Superboy and another black haired teen triumphantly cheering while the boy who apparently infiltrated the batcaves computers, was holding his head in his hands mockingly at the two superpowered kids' actions.

Tim and Babs realize that this wasn’t a malicious attack and instead just a couple of insanely competent idiots having fun. If these guys can have fun why can’t they?

Babs infiltrates the computer that has shockingly insanely well crafted cyber security. She changes the lockscreen and every tab open to an image of Red Robin getting fucking beaned in the skull with a jug of juice. Tucker responds 15 minutes later on the batcomputer with a low angle photo of himself and Superboy flipping off the camera. At the far top of the image is Danny crawling upside down on the ceiling, feet and fingers embedded into the bumpy surface. His eyes glowing a bright green and looking like an eldritch abomination.

This starts one of the strangest friendships that Tucker has ever had. Actively hacking into eachothers computers to send back and forth increasingly elaborate shitposts and enhancing their firewalls with each breach of security. Danny actively repairs ghost nations, ghost politics, ghost relations, and completes a BUNCH of ghost king related activities he normally would have hated for the sole purpose of getting specific ghosts together to create the new shitpost of the week that they would send to Oracle and Red Robin.

Batman finds out only because Superboy let it slip. “Got through to your stupid batcomputer three times this week! You’re slacking Gordon.”

In all honesty, Batman thinks it’s fucking halarious. His kids managed to find the nerdiest possible way to make friends and they’re making massive improvements on the Batcomputer and Watchtower’s security. If these kids ever DO become a threat… Batman knows exactly where they lived and has an armed satellite at the ready.

Now that Batman knows, Superboy gets Red Robin and Impulse together to meet the Phantom trio. I need you guys to picture this: It’s a cozy family owned diner. Warm oranges, reds, and tans cover the inside of the building. A very sweet looking mid 40s lady with her hair in a bun and an apron around her waist, walks over to a corner booth and asks the customers what they would want to eat.

At this table: Danny, Sam, and Tucker all are wearing their casual everyday clothes sit at one side of the table while talking animatedly to the trio on the other side of the table: Red Robin, Impulse, and Superboy, all in their full superhero uniforms, are talking just as excitedly right back at the Phantom Gang on what to order.

So Sam. Sam would be amazing with Tim. Imagine the amount of eco-friendly ideas she could propose to Tim to better the public's view of WayneTech. With Sam’s help, Tim launches a campaign to fix infrastructure and do a HUGE plant based rehabilitation plan to help reduce smog and add greenery to Gotham. Tim hires Poison Ivy to help with the enhanced growth of trees and gardens around Gotham and it goes extremely well. Poison Ivy commits bioterrorism for the betterment of the environment after all, they remove the terrorism bit and just keep the bio, she isn’t that bad. It’s amazing because that means there’s one less villain on their asses all the times tearing up Gotham.

Sam also absolutely gives everyone makeup lessons and fashion tips to embrace their own personal aesthetic better.

Tucker is super good friends with Tim and Impulse. He somehow can keep up with Impulses talking and the pair will spend hours excitedly infodumping each other. Tucker chatting with Tim about tech and some improvements that they could send to the engineering division of WayneTech. The amount of chaotic bullshittery Tucker will do with the two is unparalleled.

Danny is extremely good friends with Impulse and Superboy. Superboy and him bond over their experiences and powers. They go on bi weekly night flights to brainstorm pranks and insults to throw at their respective villains. Danny is able to also keep up with Impulse's excited speech and they give each other tips on how to control powers granted to them by all powerful other dimensions.

idk this ends my rambling but I just… Danny would be such good friends with Superboy. If you want to go romantic, they would be an incredible couple. The flirting and nonstop jabs could absolutely be simply bros being bros but I genuinely think these two could have a very solid romantic connection with each other if you want to go in that direction. Their backgrounds are so very similar, their personalities would mesh together extremely well, they’re vigilantes so no worries about endangering a weak civilian, and you cannot tell me that Danny wouldn’t steal Connor’s jackets even if he wasn’t in a relationship with him.

In the far future I truly believe they would stay friends. When Danny reveals to Impulse and Robin that he’s actually a ghost and the photos they were sending to the batcave were honest to god images of another dimension, it certainly causes momentary panic and chaos but it quickly settles into acceptance. How on earth Robin or Impulse would react to the Ghost Zone I am completely unsure. If someone else wants to add onto this with that concept you can surely go for it. All I do know is that their awe and wonder of this brilliantly strange and odd dimension that their friend (who’s apparently the ruler of?! What?!?!) lives in. They all use the GZ as a sort of hideaway when things get complicated and too much in the mortal plane. They all have little rooms in Danny’s lair that they are free to crash in at any time.

This offer may spread to everyone else too. Connor invites Danny and the rest of Young Just Us over to the Kent’s farm to enjoy some incredible homemade meals and to take their mind off things to focus on chores around the farm. Tim invites the group over to Wayne Manor for their assistance on difficult cases (if the research session turns into a Mario Kart tournament or movie marathon, that’s between them and Alfred)

I am very much so unsure how to end this so I’ll just say this: Danny’s life changed for the better and no matter what he does, he can never escape “are you an angel?” jokes.

#danny phantom #dc comics #dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #long post #writing prompts #Connor kent #Young Just Us #thank you ‘write six sentences on your current WIP’ post. you helped me finish this #HOPE YALL ENJOY THIS LONG ASS POST IT TOOK SO SO LONG TO FINISH #sorry I can’t add a continue reading I’m on mobile

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chibelial · 1 year

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Mobile won’t let me add a read more so sorry for this. Don’t even read it Insound insane I’ll delete it later I just need to get words out of my head. Anxiety is literally in the way of everything I want I’m gonna blow this she already sees flaws it’s beginning. We can’t just be friends she doesn’t understand what’s in my head I have to have this. She’s so empty and she just wants to be filled with pain and I just want to give her that I want to love her and give her what she asked for until it destroys her, and then to just continue it Idc. She’s sick but it’s what she wants but my stupid anxiety my brain it refuses to let me make changes I can’t shut down I might lose her but I shut down so easily. Not surprising she’d cut it down to just being friends over something so small, it’s me. I’m already not enough small flaws ontop of that, it’s worse than a normal person with horrendous flaws. It’s a negative net value on pros and cons of me as a person. She’d be better off but I can’t let her go how could I release the one thing I look forward to I feel like my veins are full of fire and my fucking bones ache why does stress have to fuck your body up. I’m shaky and panicked and seething with rage I want to rend something apart into it’s smallest and most broken pieces possible she’s supposed to be mineee

#warning I sound insane don’t read this stuff #don’t you fucking end this #please have a little patience with me ik the flaws are revolting #I can imagine how off putting I am #I just wanna be what you’ve described #give me the chance please for fucks sake #the universe handed me this #she’s perfect she’s everything I want and need #and my stupid anxiety #it’s in the way like always it’s just slowly driving a wedge in there #I’m so stupid I’m trapped by it why can’t I ever overcome it #my therapy and mt meds are useless #I don’t even want therapy or anything I’m just wretched it won’t change #I just want her she wants to be owned and I’m RIGHT here #you’re supposed to be mine I sound insane

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tarosin · 3 years

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The great adventures of y/n tubbo jack niki and george

requested:yes/no

pairing: platonic y/n,tubbo,jack,niki and george

summary: minecraft cave in real life

content warning: cursing

an: the word love is used a couple times but this is all platonic <3 i still don’t know how to add read more on mobile i am sorry about that, part 3 to great adventures series

it was around 4 am when the heat became a problem, unable to sleep you grabbed your phone and decided to facetime ranboo just as he was ending stream

“hey boo...you look like you’ve seen a ghost what the fuck were you doing”

“fnaf vr”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad you’re being dramatic”

“okay we shall see how you like it when I make you play it when I’m in the UK”

“okay bet I’ll add it to our list of videos and stream ideas anyway I can't sleep it’s too hot and I’m so confused as to why Tommy keeps asking me if I like and I quote being high”

“tubbo was telling me about that he keeps teasing him about planes you never know maybe you’re all going on an international adventure... or being pushed out a plane”

“doubt it there’s no way Tommy would pull something as crazy as jumping out a plane it would be pretty cool, I was thinking about doing it for my birthday”

“with a parachute? I hope”

“eh with or without, either way, is fine for me”

an hour passed you and ranboo sat talking about what was happening tomorrow and how you wished he was going to be there with you, after all, you knew how it felt to be watching people you care about making plans and doing things without you.

“didn’t you say you were going to a cave tomorrow? Minecraft in real life, nice”

“I’m begging please touch grass”

“I’ve already done that it made me want to become an engineer now get some rest y/n you’ll be getting up in a few hours, I’ll call you tomorrow goodnight”

“see you tomorrow I love you”

*y/n has ended the call*

•••

when you woke up at 9 you couldn’t shake off the awful feeling you had, today just didn’t feel like a good day you needed some time to yourself to recharge however you knew you’d be okay later on

Niki: good morning y/n!! would you like us to pick you up now or do you need a bit longer

y/n: don’t worry about it I’ll make my own way!! :]

Niki: okay see you soon!!

George: we will pick you up in an hour and a bit

Tommy: wait what are you guys doing

tubbo: following jack and Niki around

y/n: what he said

Tommy: have fun then guys without me

y/n: don’t you have work to do big guy

Tommy: don’t you have to get ready

y/n: leave me alone

•••

soon enough you saw jacks car pull up outside so you grabbed your bag from the other day as it still had everything you needed except this time you decided to bring along a mini first aid kit as you knew your clumsiness and a cave wouldn’t mix well. now you were fully awake you couldn’t wait to go explore the caves, you sat next to Niki who decided to play with your hair and spent half of the journey on a call with an unhappy Tommy who was in college waiting to go to lesson the other half of the journey was spent singing along to the radio

•••

jack started recording and turned around to see you Niki and tubbo leaning over looking down at the floor

“oh hi jack” you waved at the camera “so what’s the plan of action”

“we’re going up there”

you loved heights so hearing that you were going to go on a cable car made you pretty excited once you all got into the car you and George tried opening all the windows whilst tubbo complained

“stop trying to open things”

“it’s a window”

“scared you’re going to get pushed over the edge hmm? scared you’ll have to free fall? it’s not that high you'd probably survive the fall, it’s not like I'm trying to open the door on a plane”

“y/n I mean this in the nicest way possible I’m never going on a plane with you”

tubbo laughed and joined the conversation “we shall see about that”

you tilted your head to the side and blinked a few times trying to process what he just said

“heh?”

“tubbo if we fell we would die right”

“you know jack I've done a lot in my life”

you took the phone from jack and began filming him and George

“why is it slowing down”

“we’re going to die”

“I didn’t bring enough food”

you sat laughing at your friends' reaction before explaining that it’s slowing down for a reason

“they’re slowing it down so you can jump out, what I didn’t tell you is there’s actually a parachute underneath where you’re sat, good luck gamers”

“We could probably climb out the window”

“NO, where do we go”

you just sat shaking your head laughing whilst your friends sat screaming about it stopping

“y/n we’re going to die”

“oh no.. let me just text ranboo to start planning our funerals”

eventually, the cable car began moving just very slow you then ended the recording after jack made jokes about it moving as fast as a George video comes out, you all then spent the rest of the time enjoying everyone’s company.

•••

tubbo noticed a park and ran to the ropes giving you time to update your community a stream will be happening later on

y/n has tweeted: I am outside, stream with ranboo when we get home :]

you laughed as you posted that as all the comments started rolling in questioning if ranboo had come to the UK. you walked back to your group and wrapped your arms around jack and Niki making them both jump out of shock

“Sorry about that ahah now if you don’t mind I want to play in the park”

they laughed as you ran to the rope trying to swing without falling that’s when you gave up and started climbing the net close to Niki.

“that’s not a swing George”

jack ran towards them “I’m getting on the swing with George”

Niki laughed as she recorded what was happening in front of her, she looked to her left expecting to see you stood next to her however she heard you laugh and run towards your friends

“I’m getting on the swing with tubbo”

a few moments later George pointed out a castle and tubbo mentioned the ‘wet rocks’ you just stood with your arm around Niki's shoulders enjoying the view of the castle that was until a dog caught your attention and you walked off to go ask if you could pet it

“Niki where’s y/n they were with you last”

“with the dog”

“tubbo when they come back just follow the path towards the castle, me and Niki are going to record”

“got it, boss man”

•••

after a few minutes, you walked back to tubbo and George realising jack and Niki weren’t there you tilted your head shrugged then sat next to tubbo on the swings as George began recording

“jack and Niki have left us but we’re having fun on the swings..”

“maybe we’ll lick some rocks”

“YEAH”

•••

“if we’re quiet we can sneak up on them”

the three of you ran down the path towards the start of the castle steps looking at the cameras that allowed you to see the top of the castle

“there they are”

“they’re vlogging”

“We can just see them through the castle cameras they have no idea we can see them”

you stood leaning against George until you all noticed they were about to make their way back down the steps so all ran off to hide

“there they go”

the three of you ran back down the path ignoring the stares from strangers and comments about how your hair was obnoxiously bright, the three of you scared the pair who were looking for you all

“I’ve never been less displeased to see George”

the five of you continued walking around after joking about the green water and questioning George on how he could tell what colour it was

“I’m a genius”

a few fans can over and took photos with you all and George began questioning them

“George you’re really self-promoting right now”

“George I am disappointed in you”

•••

“dude it’s boiling”

“ice cream?”

the five of you stood inline

“I’m dying to tubbo”

“I’m not going to ask questions, I love how you just accepted defeat”

“you’re next y/n” tubbo let go of George and began walking towards you

“FUCK OFF NO” you ran behind George and used him as a shield

“y/n George isn’t going to protect you”

“I will y/n don't worry tubbo fuck off” the three of you stood laughing not realising jack was walking towards you all with the ice cream

“thank you”

“you’re welcome how’s the ice cream”

“great thank you”

you laughed at jack who somehow managed to get ice cream on his nose

•••

you and tubbo noticed a wishing well and walked over to it

“wanna make a wish”

“yeah but we have no money”

you both looked at each other then at jack them looked back at each other and nodded

“what are you two doing”

“We wanna make a wish”

“come on give me your money”

everyone stood laughing at you and tubbo determined to make a wish whilst jack argued he had no money however tubbo noticed a £20 note and grabbed it

“y/n quick make a wish”

the pair of you held the note and then dropped it into the well

“yay!!”

“We made a wish”

the pair of you walked off whilst jack stood telling you both how he can’t believe you and the pair of you had stolen over £100 from him today making you both laugh

“tell me the wish”

“We can’t or it won’t come true”

•••

“right cave time”

“we’re going to die”

“well thanks for that George”

you stood next to tubbo trying to ignore your friends as they made comments about there being mobs like creepers in the cave

“you two really need to go outside more”

everything was going well for you until the worker said to everyone

“I think we do have some kids here who are doing a vlog”

you could feel your cheeks heating up from embarrassment although you loved your job you still weren’t used to people pointing it out

•••

“This cave has a door”

“naturally formed door”

“y/n tubbo were in the caves, where are the diamonds”

you pointed in a random direction then continued walking whilst tubbo kneeled examining the rock claiming there were diamonds, as you all kept walking you had to put up with tubbo jack and George making Minecraft jokes whilst Niki followed behind them staying rather quiet, everyone’s as focusing on the cave not saying much till George spoke up

“it’s turned into a horror movie”

“why’s the cave so low why can’t they just dig up”

“y/n did you really just ask that”

“yes I did my neck hurts from ducking under the rock”

“so sorry to hear that”

“thank you for your concern George”

“I’m not concerned”

“oh-“

the tour continued and you were genuinely having a good time, you found all the different rocks and information given to you by the worker fascinating and slowly stopped listening to what your friends were saying behind you

“so this little tunnel up here is where they would send the kids”

“off you go tubbo and y/n”

“please no”

you all continued for a while till you were told you were going in the dark despite the fact you were excited you were also very afraid of the dark so stood closer to tubbo who instantly noticed and pulled you into a side hug

“we’re going dark”

“oh wow that is the only source of light”

a minute or so later they turned on some softly coloured led lights so you could all look at the geode

“holy shit that’s beautiful”

“I thought a geode was a small animal”

“that’s a pokemon dude”

you were all given time to go for a wander however rather than walking with the others you decided to stay with the geode and started a group call with ranboo and Tommy

“hi guys can’t stay long break is almost over”

“that’s okay Tommy but look at this giant fucking rock”

you flipped the camera so they could see and went around showing them parts of the cave

“holy shit”

“looks great y/n”

“cool right I have to go the worker wants us to get ready to leave see you all soon”

“wait y/n one last question, how are you with heights”

“oooh I’m great I love them we went in a cable car earlier”

“awesome see you all later”

*Tommy left the call*

“I’ll call you when I get home boo I’ll see you soon!!”

“bye y/n stay safe”

*ranboo has left the call*

*y/n has left the call*

as you all left the cave you and tubbo noticed two rocks and went to pick them up

“hey look our wish came true”

“yeah we wished for a weird looking rock when we left the cave”

“you paid £20 for a rock”

“yes”

a few minutes later you and tubbo just started walking away only to be later followed by everyone else

“where are you going”

•••

you all got the cable car back at this point you were exhausted you used all your energy running around the cave determined to show Tommy and ranboo everything

“What did you all think of the cave”

“loved it”

“you lost your rock tubbo?”

tubbo pulled out the rock and smiled at jack

“no, I didn’t”

“but you chucked it”

“told you we wished for a magic rock”

jack finished the recording and you all just sat talking about your day and any future plans

•••

the journey back home was extremely quiet you and tubbo sat next to each other, you fell asleep with your head resting on his shoulder, Niki sat in the front with jack quietly singing along to the radio and George and tubbo quietly spoke to each other trying not to wake you up.

when you finally got home you woke up on your couch confused as to how you got there it was only when you checked your phone you got the answer

Niki: you looked exhausted we didn’t want to wake you, hope you don’t mind. your keys are on the table next to your bag!! see you soon it was lovely meeting you <3

you decided to reply thanking your friends for today.

•••

*incoming call: ranboo*

you accepted the call

“hey y/n tell me all about your day whilst you get ready to stream I'm already set up”

“oh they’re gonna be so annoyed I've joined in with making jokes about you being in the UK anyway so my day was pretty good but I did end up asleep on my couch and had no idea how I got there”

“heh?”

“let me explain”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #mcyt reader insert #mcyt fluff #tubbo imagine #tubbo fluff #tubbo x reader #tubbo x y/n #tubbo x you #jack manifold imagine #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold fluff #jack manifold x you #jack manifold x reader #nihachu x reader #nihachu fluff #georgenotfound imagine

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that1fanficwriter · 3 years

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A Night of Chaos

This lovely idea was requested by @bisexualbumblebeeblogs thank you! As always my asks are open to anyone! Feel free to drop by with a request, a question, or just to chat!

Pairing: Jonny Goodman x reader

AN: this isn’t based off of a singular episode I just put together some of my favorite antics to create absolute chaos. Also, I am currently on mobile so I am not able to add a keep reading even though it is very long.

As you stomped up the driveway to the Goodman’s house in the pouring rain you noticed an additional car terribly parked on the front stoop. Instead of trying to get to the front door you decided to just trudge around the side entrance to the kitchen. Before you could get to the door you noticed a man standing in the shadows that looked suspiciously like “the father: Martin Goodman.”

“Uncle Martin, what are you doing out here?” You called out to him.

“Ah hello my dear, there was a perfectly good loaf of bread that Jackie threw away. It only had a few moldy bits on it but she wouldn’t let me eat it in the house because we have company.” He explained.

“I see. Well, if you’re finished with your “perfectly good” moldy bread I can let you in.” You suggest.

“That would be lovely Y/N thank you. How has your relationship been doing with your male?” He inquires as you unlock the door.

“Ugh, god, not this again.” You groan, as you step inside. “Hi Aunty Jack!” You call out, as you blatantly disregard Martin’s previous question.

“Hi love! What a lovely surprise! What brings you around in this weather?”

“Mum is fighting with Larry for the third time this evening. I can’t take much more of it.”

“Well why don’t we get you out of your wet jacket and I’ll get you a cuppa. How does that sound?”

“That would be lovely Aunty Jack, thank you.”

“Of course love. Jonny and Adam are in the living room if you want to join them; please make sure they behave themselves.” She says before turning to Martin trying to sneak out of the kitchen, “MARTIN! Stop wearing your little miss muffet boots in the house! It’ll ruin my clean carpet!”

You quickly take your own wet shoes off and drop them by the front door before making your way to the living room.

“Ah hello puss face!” You say while sitting on Adam “and Jonny, the one I hate the least! How are you lads doing this fine and gloomy evening?” You ask, moving to sit between the two brothers with a cheery smile on your face.

“Come on Y/N, you know you love me.” Jonny says while trying to squeeze every last breath out of you.

“Yeah, I guess I do love you quite a bit JonJon.” You tease.

“How have Mum and Dad not figured out you two idiots are together yet?” Adams asks, flabbergasted.

“We’ll your dad is about as observant as a brick.” You state.

“Yeah, and we just avoid Mum all together.” Jonny adds.

“Oh Y/N dear, I didn’t know you were popping round.” Nellie says as she enters the living room.

“Grandma Nellie! I didn’t know you were here either! It is so good to see you again.” You say as you get up to give her a hug. “Who else is here?” You ask everyone, “I’m guessing you’re not the company Uncle Martin was referring to when he told me Aunty Jack made him eat his moldy bread out in the rain.”

“That would be Lou!” Nellie informs you.

“He’s her “lover”.” Jonny tells you with disgust.

Just then a short man, very formally dressed, walks into the living room. You make the educated and accurate guess that the angry looking man before you is Grandma Nellie’s Lou.

“Who are you?” He asks you.

You barely have time to tell him your name before he’s asking more questions.

“Why are you here? Are you dating the gerbil or the bean stalk?” He barks at you.

“My mum Val and I are close friends with the Goodmans and we live just down the street. My mum was fighting with her boyfriend again and so I decided to come over here instead of hearing that racket.” You explain.

“Alright, and are you dating little or large?” He asks you again.

You try incredibly hard not to laugh at the ridiculous names Lou is calling Adam and Jonny but one rogue chortle makes its way past your lips.

“What’s so funny?” Lou glares.

“I’m sorry, it’s just the nicknames you’ve given Adam and Jonny are hilarious!” You laugh.

“You filthy punk rockers are ridiculous!” Lou tells all three of you before sitting back down by Nellie.

“Is everything all right in here?” Jackie asks as she pops her head into the living room.

“We’re fine Mum.” Jonny says.

“Yeah, Y/N is just having a laugh at the terrible names Mr. Morris has been calling Jonny and I.” Adam adds.

“Alright, we’ll, dinner is almost done so if you all would like to come through to the dining room?” Jackie suggests. As everyone is moving to the dining room the doorbell rings. “Y/N, would you please check who’s at the door?” Jackie asks you.

“Of course Aunty Jack!” You call out to her. “I’ll be right back; save me a seat.” You whisper to Jonny before heading to the door.

“Hello Jackie?”

“Hi Jim.” You say, trying to stay pleasant.

“You’re not Jackie?” He asks.

“No, I’m not. I live just down the road.” You answer.

“Ah, I see. And you’re friends with…”

“Jonny.” You begin to say.

“Jonny, the short”

You cut him off; “the taller one.”

“Yes, the taller one.”

“What do you need Jim?”

“I wanted to return some fish Jackie so graciously let me borrow a few weeks ago.”

“Ok; well why don’t I just go fetch her real quick. Just wait here Jim.” You rush back to the kitchen to ask Jackie to deal with Jim. “Aunty Jack, Jim’s here to see you. See said he wanted to return some fish he borrowed a few weeks ago?”

“Of course he has to return week old fish right now.” Jackie complains “Why don’t you go ahead through to the dining room and I’ll bring everything in in a few minutes.” She tells you.

Once you walk into the dining room, you move to sit down at the corner beside Jonny before you notice Nellie and Lou eating each other’s faces right at the table.

“What is happening? And why is it happening at the table?” You exclaim.

“Grandma and Mr. Morris are snogging; again.” Adam groans in disbelief.

“Why does this happen every time? Just make it stop. I’d rather gouge my eyes out than watch this again.” Jonny complains.

But before anyone else can continue to complain the door bell rings again.

“I’m going to go check on that.” Jonny says, jumping out of his seat.

“I’m coming with you! I can’t stand to be in this room any longer.” You say.

“Me too!” Adam jumps out of his seat.

You all rush out of the dining room eager to get away from the Nellie and Mr. Morris. The three of you scurry down the hall and as Jonny opens the door to your mother sobbing on the stoop.

“Larry broke up with me!” She wales.

“Again? Mum, you can’t keep doing this.” You say, utterly disappointed.

“I know. Where’s Jackie?”

“She’s talking with Jim in the kitchen.” Adam says.

Everyone makes their way to the kitchen following behind a sobbing Val.

“Hi Jackie.” Val says, still crying.

“Another Jackie?” Jim asks perplexed.

“No Jim, that’s just my friend Val. You’ve met before.” She tells Jim. “I don’t think now is really a good time to continue this so why don’t you head home?”

“Oh Val what’s happened? Is everything alright.” Jackie asks Val.

“Nothing new happened,” you tell everyone, “Larry just broke up with her again.”

“Oh Val, I’m so sorry!” Jackie exclaims, embracing Val, “That’s just horrible. I can’t believe he broke up with you again!”

“Oh my god, let’s just go sit in the living room.” You suggest to the boys.

“Good idea, I can’t take much more of this crying.” Adam says.

Once you make your way to the living room you all are about to sit down when Martin bursts in from the garage, covered in something strange and without a shirt (surprise surprise).

“Dad, what happened?” Jonny asks in disbelief.

“Ah hello bambinos. Now don’t tell your mother but I accidentally threw away some of my old things that I told her I’d get rid of.”

“So then why are you covered in that?” You inquire.

“Ah well, I didn’t mean to throw everything out so then I had to go into the bin to get everything out.”

“Yes, that makes total sense.” Adam announces to the room.

“Well, I’d better head back to the garage, I need to finish taking everything to the shed.” Martin says.

“We are never going to be fed are we!” Adam says.

“The three of us could just go for a chinese and not tell anyone?” Jonny suggests.

“That sounds like a great idea. I’ll drive.” You say “Grab all your stuff and let’s get out of here before someone sees us.”

#friday night dinner x reader #friday night dinner #jonny goodman x reader #Jonny Goodman #x reader imagine #x reader one shot #reader fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #oneshot #one shot #imagine #Friday night dinner imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #tom rosenthal #Tom rosenthal x reader

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greaterawarness · 3 years

Text

The One Where The Clones Go Ghost Hunting

Tup finishes setting up the last camera before resting his mobile one on his shoulder.

“So, why are we doing this again?” Tup asks while focusing the camera on Echo and Fives.

“Because Echo and I saw something here that changed our lives!” Fives says.

“Same thing happened to Hardcase when we took him to that strip club.” Jesse says with a snickering Kix as they walk past Fives. Echo rolls his eyes and steps more into frame.

“Look, we saw a woman walk right through a wall the other night. We just want to see if we can prove that what we saw was real.” Echo explains.

“So, ghosts. We’re hunting for ghosts.” Tup clarifies flatly.

“Ghost hunters if you will?” Fives says making Echo give him a light shove.

“Ghosts,” Dogma starts before Tup can turn the camera on him and Hardcase while walking into the house, “Do not exists.”

“Bro I’ll punch a ghost in the face. I don’t even care,” Hardcase says before holding up a paper bag. “Also, I brought the midnight snacks boys!”

“Dogma, if you don’t believe in ghosts then why did you come?” Fives sighs. Dogma stops as if to think about it.

“I like getting out of the barracks from time to time. Plus, I like proving you wrong.” He eventually shrugs before the front doors open again. Rex and Cody step through the doors looking less then enthused about being here.

“Captain, glad you could join us!” Fives says. The Captain mumbles something under his breath before giving a forced smile.

“Commander Cody, what a surprise. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Echo says. The Commander shoves his hands in his jacket pockets.

“Yeah, well, me and Rex had this bet whether or not Gregor could eat an entire tip-yip by himself and well… yeah now I’m here.” Cody mumbles.

“Always bet on stupid, boys.” Rex adds while placing his hands on his hips. Tup turns the camera back on Echo and Fives.

“So, you two believe in ghosts?” Fives raises an eyebrow. Tup turns the camera back to Rex and Cody.

“Oh, hell no.” Cody shakes his head.

“Not a chance.” Rex nods.

“Then why are you here?” Tup chuckles from behind the camera.

“Someone has to chaperone you kids.” Rex says matter-of-factly. Tup turns the camera back on Fives and Echo.

“Fair enough,” Echo says before rubbing his hands together as everyone gathers round. “Alright, we’re going to split up into three groups. Fives, Dogma, Tup, and I will take the upstairs. Jesse, Hardcase, and Kix will take this floor. Rex and Cody will take the basement. Everyone understand?” “Wait,” Kix says after exchanging a smile with Jesse. “Why don’t you take Hardcase, and we take Dogma?” “Okay… doesn’t really matter to us who goes where.” Fives shrugs. Dogma stares at the grinning Kix and Jesse looking very concerned.

“Tup has cameras put up throughout the house to try and capture everything. Each group will also have a camera of their own.” Echo goes on.

“Do not break these cameras!” Tup warns. With everyone briefed on what to do they split up.

UPSTAIRS: Fives, Echo, Tup, Hardcase

Tup follows his brothers up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Fives sits on the bed while carrying a recording device.

“I read somewhere that you can catch disembodied voices with this thing.” He explains. Echo leans against a wall near him while Hardcase stands to the side. Tup keeps the camera focused on Fives and Echo.

“Did you die here?” Echo asks. They wait in silence for a response. Tup shifts the camera on his shoulder while waiting.

“What’s your name?” Fives asks after a time. They wait again. Fives opens his mouth to ask another question when he’s stopped by a cracking sound. Fives looks up at the camera wide eyed. “Do you hear that?”

“Yeah, its sounds like, like… like Hardcase eating a fucking taco!” Tup starts before whipping the camera over to Hardcase who is stuffing his face with a taco. He chews loudly while putting his hands up in a WHAT fashion.

“Hardcase, maybe not a good time for that bud.” Echo sighs.

“I’m hungry!” He says with his mouth full. When Tup points the camera back on Fives and Echo, he adds off camera. “I’m a growing boy.”

Fives shakes his head while staring at the camera.

“Come on, keep going.” Echo insists. When it gets quiet again, they continue.

“Are you angry?” Fives goes on.

“Can you show yourself?” Echo asks. They sit and wait again. This time a low gargling almost growl makes them freeze. Fives holds his hands out in a don’t move motion before pressing his lips together and squeezing his eyes shut in frustration.

“Dammit Hardcase!” He yells. Tup turns the camera on Hardcase once again. This time he is slurping up what is left of his drink.

“Want some?” He offers after a pause. Echo rubs his face tiredly while Fives takes the bag of snacks and drink from Hardcase.

“We’re trying to do something hear, Hardcase!” Fives says while setting the goodies on a dresser.

“Well, I’m sorry! But it’s not like anything was happening anyway.” Hardcase crosses his arms.

“I mean, he does have a point.” Tup says nodding with the camera. Echo sighs while putting his hands on his hips.

“They’re right. Maybe we did imagine it.” Echo shrugs. Fives lets out a disappointing breath but nods.

“Yeah, we should get the others and…”

Fives is cut off by two shrill screams coming from downstairs. They all stare at Hardcase who holds his hands up with wide eyes.

“That wasn’t me!” He says. Echo and Fives look into the camera before all four of them run downstairs.

DOWNSTAIRS: Jesse, Kix, Dogma

When Fives leads his group upstairs and Rex and Cody disappear into the basement, Jesse, Kix, and Dogma meander around their floor.

“So,” Jesse says with the camera first pointed up at his face then nothing but blurry movement before the camera finally focuses on Kix and Dogma. “We’re just supposed to walk around videoing ourselves getting scared in the dark?”

“I think we’re supposed to ask it questions and try and catch it on this.” Kix says while holding up a small recording device Echo had given them. Dogma shakes his head.

“This is ridiculous.” Dogma sighs. Jesse zooms in ridiculously close to Dogma’s face.

“Why is that Doggy?” Jesse chuckles.

“Because they didn’t see a ghost. They spent the last few nights watching ghost movies and then were asked to house sit in an extremely old home that probably creaks and moans if you just looked at it.” Dogma says while crossing his arms. When Jesse can’t find a way to zoom out the camera, Kix steals it and fixes it. He aims the camera up at his face.

“Well boys, lets ask this ghost some questions,” Kix starts before clearing his throat, “If there are any spirits here tonight, please, answer me this one question… Who’s better looking? Me or Jesse?”

Jesse’s face appears in the corner of the camera.

“We have the same face, dumbass.” Jesse snorts.

“Yeah, but you’re uglier.” Kix says not missing a beat. Jesse gives a hurt gasp while Dogma laughs off camera. The camera blurs while Jesse steals the camera back. He points it at Dogma.

“Enough of this, lets keep moving.” Jesse insists. Dogma shrugs and walks further down the hall. They stop to stare at a painting when one the doors leading to the kitchen begin to rattle. Dogma freezes while staring at the rattling door.

“What is that?” Dogma starts to turn back to Jesse, but he pushes him forward.

“Go check it out!” He insists. Dogma slowly walks forward as the doorknob continues to rattle. He takes a deep breath before forcing the door open before Kix jumps out scaring Dogma. He doesn’t scream but he jumps and punches Kix in the arm. Kix and Jesse laugh and lean against each other.

“You’re jerks.” Dogma frowns.

“Couldn’t resist.” Jesse laughs from behind the camera.

“There are two doors to the kitchen. I snuck through the other when you weren’t looking.” Kix explains.

“Wow. This is me impressed right now.” Dogma says with a blank expression.

“Alright, I think we’re done here. Let’s…” Kix starts but stops when female screams make their blood run cold. They immediately run towards the noise meeting up with Fives, Echo, Tup, and Hardcase while they come down the stairs.

“Was that you?” Fives asks.

“No, I think it came form the basement.” Kix says. They tear open the basement door and run into the darkness.

THE BASEMENT: Cody, Rex

“This is stupid.” Cody sighs once Rex has closed the basement door behind them.

“Just keep moving.” Rex says while trying to get a good hold on the camera. He wasn’t a tech wiz and wasn’t sure if it was even on. He lifts it to his eye and chuckles at the night vision Cody. Cody reaches up and takes the camera from him.

“So, what do we do now?” Cody asks once they’re down in the dungeon of a basement. Rex walks over and sits on a crate. Cody leans against the wall, keeping the camera pointed at Rex.

“Wait until the boys say we’re good to go home?” Rex shrugs.

“I can’t believe Gregor ate that entire tip-yip.” Cody sighs. “To think I could be doing literally anything else tonight.” “What? You had something better to do?” Rex arches a brow. Cody zooms in on Rex’s face.

“Did you seriously just ask me if I had something better to do then sit in the basement of a strangers house in the dark?”

“Good point.” Rex nods. Cody zooms out. “So, you wanna go to 79’s after…” Rex and Cody get to their feet when footsteps come from the pitch-black back room. Rex grabs a crowbar while Cody sets the camera on a shelf so he can grab a large wrench. They walk slowly towards the back room. One of the paint cans next to Rex rattles suddenly making him jump.

“Okay… that was weird.” Cody says softly. Rex grips his weapon.

“You aren’t seriously considering that there is a ghost here, are you?” Rex asks him but doesn’t lower the crowbar.

“Look, maybe it’s not as crazy as it sounds,” Cody starts, “I mean I fought zombie geonosians!”

A low growl stops them in their tracks.

“Okay… so maybe it’s not as preposition as it first seemed but…” Rex trails off the closer they got to the darkness. Rex almost thinks he can see eyes staring at him before a lothcat leaps at them with a growl making both men give high shrill screams.

“Oh my fuck its just a cat!” Cody breathes relieved. Rex rubs his face trying to get his breathing under control. When the basement door bursts open both men jump close together and then quickly part when they realize its just the boys.

“We heard a woman scream!” Fives starts. Tup points his camera at them.

“Did you see it! Did you see her?” Echo asks. All seven men stare at Rex and Cody waiting for their response.

“It was…” Rex starts while turning to stare at Cody whose face is as red with embarrassment as Rex’s. He slowly turns his head back towards the boys. “… a ghost.”

“It was a ghost.” Cody nods.

“Well, did you get it on camera?” Tup asks. Cody and Rex both look at the camera sitting on the shelf pointed at the dark back room.

“Uh…” Rex says while Fives picks it up. He shakes his head and frowns.

“Rex, you never even turned it on!” Fives says making Cody and Rex sigh with relief and then quickly change it to sighs of frustration when Kix and Jesse arch a brow at them.

“We never got anything on camera but if Rex and Cody say they saw something then I feel like that’s validation enough.” Echo says. Fives nods but still looks disappointed they weren’t able to catch anything on camera. Dogma rolls his eyes before starting up the stairs with the others. Cody and Rex start to leave when Kix and Jesse step in front of them.

“So, you saw a ghost?” Jesse asks with a smug smile on his face. Rex clears his throat slightly.

“Yup, saw it right there.” Rex says pointing to the back room. Kix and Jesse exchange a look.

“It’s just odd to us that we hear two screams and… well what do ya know? Its just the two of you down here?” Kix says with a grin. Rex bites his bottom lip before reaching out and placing a hand on each of their shoulders.

“You know what I heard?” Rex asks softly. “I heard that I haven’t finished the watch bill for the next month. I would hate for the two of you to be stuck on watch for the next foreseeable future!”

Kix and Jesse stare at Rex for a moment.

“It’s crazy that you saw a ghost!” Kix says finally.

“Yeah, Captain I would be scared shitless.” Jesse adds before the two of them run up the stairs. Rex and Cody exchange a relieved look before going up the stairs themselves.

As they wrapped up the night, they gathered up all the cameras and gear and loaded it into a speeder. Tup looks through the bags making sure he grabbed everything.

“Hey, Dogma!” Tup calls out. Dogma stands halfway to the speeder and the house. “I think I forgot the battery bag by the stairs. Can you grab it real fast?” Dogma jogs back to the house and pushes open the front door. He spots the battery bag on the bottom step. When he picks it up, he starts to turn to leave when movement at the top of the stairs catches his eye. He glances up to see a woman in white staring down at him. She turns and glides across the floor before passing through a wall. His jaw drops. He turns and runs out of the house as fast as he can.

“GUYS!”

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noire-pandora · 3 years

Note

Welcome to DADWC! Here's a prompt for you: “Annoying you is what I’m best at.”

Hey! Thanks for the prompt. My first time writing for @dadrunkwriting yay, so excited (and anxious xD).

I'm sorry for the long answer, I'm posting this from mobile, so no read more option.

"Annoying you is what I'm best at" for Elluin Lavellan/Solas.

Elluin winced as Solas' fingers smeared the green, slimy ointment on the bruises that coloured the pale skin of her arms in various nuances of purple. A wave of nausea overcame her as the bitter smell of Elfroot mixed with Embrium tickled her nose. Her tongue darted out, barely suppressing her disgust.

"You are acting like a child, Inquisitor," Solas said through clenched teeth. "You brought this on yourself."

Ah, here we go again, she thought, grinning at the signs of annoyance Solas tried and failed to hide from her keen eyes.

"You know I don't like the smell of medicine," Elluin began in the sweetest voice she could muster. "Can't you add a rose petal or something like that to make it smell better?"

Laughter tickled her throat as a muscle in the corner of his lips twitched, but she bit her tongue to keep it from coming out.

"You know very well that the art of blending plants into a healing and soothing concoction is a delicate one, and that any foreign ingredient can precipitate a catastrophic reaction upon contact with the skin," Solas gave her a look that revealed he would rather eat a rose petal than mix it into his blends. "In short, no, I cannot add petals or something like that to please your nose, Inquisitor."

Solas' nostrils flared as their gazes met, but Elluin did not flinch under the intensity of his gaze. From time to time, when irritation at her actions reached a new peak, her Vhenan would stare into her soul with cold grey eyes in an attempt to inspire guilt for her actions. It never worked, for she knew his anger was short-lived. Still, Elluin enjoyed watching him huff and puff for a few moments. She found the raw display of care fascinating, especially since Solas rarely let his emotions get the best of him.

"Someone stepped on your tail today, huh?" she said as Solas straightened his back and moved towards the table that stood against the wall of the small room.

The popping of corks sounded in the room as Solas opened a three bottles and poured the contents on a few clean silk bandage.

The soft lines of Elluin's face folded into a smile as she inhaled the sweet, earthy smell that reminded her of a spring morning in the middle of the forest.

You're such a softie, Vhenan.

But Solas expression begged to differ. "You know very well who stepped on my tail, Inquisitor."

"Is that so, Fadewalker?"

Solas' hand paused in the middle of applying the fragrant bandage to her left arm and one of his eyebrows shot up. His surprise lasted only a few seconds and he continued to treat her wounds, the frown returning between his brows.

"Yes. Someone decided it was safe to combine red lyrium and dwarven blast charges."

"Ah, that," Elluin clicked her tongue.

"Yes, that."

A tense silence settled over them, and she waited patiently for Solas to finish with her wounds. He worked silently, his nimble fingers neatly wrapping the bandages with a mesmerising elegance. The bruises cause by the explosion in Skyhold's undercroft tingled under Solas' ointment and the pain slowly subsided as the plants numbed it.

As Solas nodded to announce that he had finished his work, a low hum of surprise left her chest: was that all? After she had nearly blown up the castle?

Shrugging, she rose from the chair and made her way to the door, but before she had a chance to step out, Solas spoke.

"You could have died! What was in your head? What was in Dagna's head?

Ah, there it was. The anger and frustration over the experiment with the red lyrium. She slumped her shoulders and turned to face him, accepting his anger.

"There was a logic to our experiment, Solas. Since red lyrium is hard to get rid of, we thought a dwarven charger might do the trick. Since it works with normal lyrium. And the magical barrier I set protected us from the blast. Mostly. "

Solas threw his hands in the air, a new demonstration of frustration for Elluin. "But red lyrium is not normal lyrium. You could have died! Or worse, splinters of red lyrium could have cut your skin and contaminated you. Have you forgotten the effects it has on people?"

"I haven't Solas," she shook her head, as the joy of teasing him vanished. "That's why I asked Dagna to do this. I have to stop red lyrium from infecting other people. No matter what."

"How can you say that with such ease? You can not sacrifice yourself so easily for the betterment of others. Your reckless behaviour drives me mad. Your passion for plunging headlong into action without thinking frustrates me beyond measure, Vhenan."

"Solas, I," she whispered but he continued.

"This world needs you alive," the shadow of exhaustion darkened his gaze and he ran a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. "I need you alive. The thought of losing you…"

The words died on his lips as Elluin reached for his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. "I know, my love, I know. But you know me, I can't just sit and wait for the others to solve my problems. And if my death saves this world, then so be it. It's my choice, Solas."

He squeezed her fingers lightly, the anger in his voice no longer audible. "I know, Vhenan, I know. You love this world more than anything or anyone. I have no right to tell you how to live your life but it is hard to love a hero. Especially one who can be as reckless and self sacrificing as you are."

Elluin laughed, bringing his hand to her lips and gently kissing his ointment coated fingers. "Annoying you is what I'm best at."

"Yes, you are," he said before leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her head.

#dragon age #fanfiction #solas #lavellan #elluin lavellan #dadwc #prompt #my writing #noire writes #solavellan

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unrestedjade · 3 years

Text

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

#ds9 #star trek #meta #ferengi #i love them Too Much help #reliving my brief libertarian phase from high school from the opposite direction #my heart wants to make them simultaneously as queer and as repressed as possible #i didn't even make it to the goddamned blessed exchequer my head is too full #i will find beauty in this vulgarity if it kills me #this is too long #why did i spend my time this way

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kopikokun · 4 years

Text

Tell Me What You Want Me to Do to You༄ mark l.

↳ On an awfully planned trip with your best friend Mark, the place you end up spending the night in is not what you had in mind. Oh well, at least Mark’s there to keep you company. And apparently, he’s a pretty great kisser too.

pairing: bestfriend!mark x f!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive, friends to lovers, college!au

wordcount: 1.8k words

author’s note: i’m so sorry that i can’t add the ‘keep reading’ thing. i’ve tried, but every time i do it, the whole post gets wonky and i can’t edit it on mobile anymore. i’ve even tried desktop tumblr but the same thing happens :(

Request 32: Mark + “I need a hug.” (42) + “Stop being so cute.” (67) + “Put me down!” (153) + “There’s only one bed...” (154) [F2L + Suggestive]

— 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝.

In hindsight, a trip with your best friend sounded like a more than sound idea. The two of you had combined what limited knowledge you had about general adulting, scrounged up most that you could considering your financial situations as two college kids, and, in essence, had made things worked.

Or at the very least, you think, eyes scanning the room, taking in the general gist of the next addition to your mountain of already existing issues, made things happen.

And to answer a question; yes, there is a significant difference between work and happen.

Mark sighs wearily. It’s most likely due to the ridiculously lengthy car ride the two of you had been subjected to just to get here (and the back-and-forth bickering over whose bright idea it was to decide to go on holiday when the travelling industry is at its peak—it had been Mark’s, by the way, something about promotions and discount prices) and the even more absurd hike—or as the cheery staff liked to call it—expedition to your room.

“I can’t believe you convinced me to take a trip to the middle of nowhere, Mark.”

“Excuse me, this is not ‘the middle of nowhere’. According to the website, this is a ‘refined establishment which offers a fresh look into life alongside Mother Nature’,” defends Mark, letting the duffel bag stuffed with clothing he has slung over his shoulder slip to the ground with not an ounce of care.

“Well, that’s marketing for you.” You roll your eyes. “Just admit, you screwed up.”

Mark scoffs, unwilling to admit his defeat. “Not my fault that you’re a city girl.”

“This has nothing to do with me being a ‘city girl’. And you say that like you’re not a city boy.” Mark is tempted to say something petty in response but bites back his words. “And we have a bigger problem at hand right now, Mark.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a big problem…”

“Dude,” you deadpan. “It’s a big problem. There’s only one bed.”

Mark clicks his tongue. “We can come up with something… I, uh, I could sleep on the floor?”

“In this weather? You’ll be dead of hypothermia by morning. So, no.”

“Christ, alright then I guess we’ll just have to sleep on the same bed,” says Mark casually, falling onto the linen sheets. The bed creaks under his weight.

You shoot him an incredulous look. “Together? On the same bed?”

“Yeah, why not? We’ve done it before when we were kids.” Mark stares blankly up at the ceiling. “What’s so different about back then to now?”

You laugh wryly. “What’s different? We did it when we were kids, Mark. Kids.” Your face warms as you give Mark a once-over, taking it how much he’s grown into his good looks over the years. “I can list off plenty of things that have changed since we were literal children.”

Mark flips onto his side to face you head-on, an elbow propping him up. “Why? What’s wrong? You got a crush on me now?”

You roll your eyes, but your cheeks pool with even more blistering heat. “Ugh, as if.”

“Damn, alright then, Cher Horowitz,” jeers Mark.

You stick your tongue out at Mark. “Whatever. Pass me a pillow. I’ll take the floor.”

Mark jolts upright like a meerkat on the lookout. “What? No, you take the bed. I’ll take the floor.”

“No, I’m good. You can have the bed to yourself. I don’t mind, honestly.” You jerk your thumb towards yourself, pushing your chest out proudly. “This ‘city girl’ can handle a little bit of cold.”

There’s the muffled rustling of sheets and the padding of feet against the floor before a pair of arms coil themselves around your waist from behind you, which by the way, doesn’t help your cheeks which only grow hotter by the second. You turn to face Mark who stares at you with nothing but genuine concern.

“No way. This ‘city girl’ is taking the bed.” His arms curl tighter around you, pulling you even closer to him. “Come on. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No, Mark it’s—”

Your refusal is cut short when you feel your body grow weightless as your feet are lifted off of the ground.

“Oh my God! Holy shit, Mark.” Like a hapless ragdoll, you’re almost effortlessly thrown over Mark’s shoulder. You’d be impressed by how surprisingly strong he is given his skinny-looking exterior, but you find that this isn’t quite the right time to be complimenting his physical abilities just yet. Mark grunts when you writhe in his hold. “Put me down!”

“With pleasure.”

You yelp, startled when Mark nonchalantly drops you onto the bed, following suit not too long after, his face inches from yours. His arms cage in your face and you feel your head grow dizzy, intoxicated by his scent. Your heart lurches when the bed groans with all the brute force being heaved onto it.

Mark grins cheekily at you, an airy laugh leaving his lips. “Jesus, you should’ve seen your face! It was priceless.”

You stare up at him, subconsciously drinking in his beautiful features; from the hairs of his eyebrows to the flutter of his eyelashes to the rosy apples of his cheeks and right down to the dip of his cupid’s bow, you gawk at him in silence for a moment or two. You realise that it’s actually been a moment or two too long since you’ve said something by the way Mark’s smile falters and his eyes begin to roam your face with just as much intrigue.

You clear your throat, averting his keen gaze. “Yeah, alright. Haha, very funny, Mark.”

For once, Mark doesn’t have any witty comeback for you in response. In fact, the room is drop dead silent save for the mechanical whirring of the ceiling fan. Mark’s adam’s apple bobs up and down in apprehension as his eyes scan your face once more. You can’t look away from him. Your eyes are glued to his as your heart hammers in your chest, its vibrations ringing in your ears.

He makes a move to get off of you but freezes when he feels your hand wrap around his bicep, urging for him to stay as he is. Mark watches you with interest, waiting for something more, but all you can do is continue gaping at him. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, blinking up at him. You wait with baited breath as Mark licks his lips.

“What?” he whispers. “What is it you want from me?”

You inhale sharply.

Mark’s voice drops several octaves, turning almost gravelly, which is so out of character for him you nearly blanch. “Come on, I want to know. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

You mumble your words incoherently, your mind too clouded over to formulate an actual sentence.

“Speak up, pretty girl. I can’t hear you.” Mark leans into your ear, his hot breath making your hairs stand on end.

“Want you to kiss me, Mark.”

“God, you’re so cute. Stop being so cute. Say it again.”

You huff, growing impatient. “Please, Mark. Just kiss me already.”

“Holy shit.” He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “That's really hot.”

Mark kisses you tenderly. His lips press softly against yours, testing the waters and gauging your reaction. He tastes of the spearmint gum you gave him on the ride here and he smells like the fabric softener you always use when you go over to his place.

His hand cups your cheek, and at your hum of appreciation, he finally decides to kiss you with a little more fervour.

You’re not sure how, but you soon find yourself in Mark’s lap as he rests his back against the headboard. You chase after his lips when he pulls away and he giggles, the sound so bizarre considering the atmosphere. You don’t stay displeased for too long though, as Mark begins kissing down your jaw, which tickles, if you're being frank.

Mark’s grip on you turns bruising when you scratch at his nape, savouring the way his breath hitches. As things progress, you can’t help but wonder how this exactly happened. Sure, you’ve had those moments where the idea of being more than friends with Mark excited you, but it’s not like you dwelled on the thought often. All throughout your friendship, you’d never had any moments like this, but you’re surprised you two hadn’t done this sooner, because God, this feels amazing. Thinking back on it, there have been moments where you’d caught Mark staring a little too intensely at you and vice-versa, but you brushed it off as a common occurrence, being friends with a guy. But, you suppose, given the fact that you and Mark are making out right now, probably means that those stares meant a little more than you had first surmised.

You pull away when Mark grips the back of your neck. He pauses, his gaze finding yours.

He swallows dryly. “You okay?"

You exhale shakily, a whirlwind of thoughts consuming you. “Wait- I- Can we,” you take a breath, “can we stop?”

Immediately, Mark’s expression melts into one of distress. “Yeah, of course we can.”

“Thanks.” You nod timidly, climbing off his lap and sinking into the spot beside him. You chew on the flesh of your inner cheek, guilt washing over you. “I- I’m sorry.”

Mark’s head swivels to face you. “What? No, don’t be sorry. It’s fine.” He fiddles with his fingers. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“What? No, no, you didn’t.” You laugh reassuringly. “I just- I don’t know- I just—”

“No, it’s okay. If you want to stop, I'll stop. No explanation required.” Mark smiles at you. “But… we’re still cool, right?”

“Of course we are, dude.”

Mark snickers. “Wow, I can’t believe you just called me dude after we made out. You’re really something else, huh?”

“Hey! You should take that as a compliment.” You shove him playfully. “I don’t call just anyone dude.”

“Well then, it’s an honour. Dude.”

Your conversation dwindles into silence. You feel anxiety begin to make its way up your spine as it latches onto you, sinking its gnarly teeth into your back. What now? Can you two really go back to being just friends if that’s what you ultimately decided? The faint spinning of the fan is the only thing that nulls your worries. Cautiously, you reach for Mark’s hand beside you and thankfully, he reciprocates the gesture. You sigh happily, finding solace in the warmth radiating from his fingertips.

“Can I—no I mean—can we cuddle?” You await a response from Mark, only to be greeted by nothing. “Uh, I’m sorry. That was dumb of me. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

You attempt to pry your fingers from Mark’s but he refuses to let you slip away. Instead, he brings your hand to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on the back of your palm. “Hey, no. Let’s cuddle. I’m down for that. I need a hug, anyway.”

It’s astounding how easy it is to get into a spooning position with Mark. And as corny as it sounds, you feel like you fit perfectly in his arms, snug against his chest. You allow yourself to relax in his embrace until you feel something digging into your thigh.

“Is that—”

“Yeah, sorry,” says Mark sheepishly. He shifts in his position, but to no avail. He just hisses in discomfort. You smother a giggle. “I’m still, uh, a little… excited?”

“My bad.”

Mark pokes your waist, fishing that repressed giggle out of you. “Dumbass.”

And as you lay there with Mark, your laughter fading as the moon rises, you can’t deny the sparks of attraction that have ignited. You’re not quite sure exactly how you feel, but you think, whatever the outcome, the two of you will be alright.

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pi-cat000 · 3 years

Text

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (5)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters: Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

START / RREV / NEXT

Ms Iroi always tries to engage him in conversation whenever she comes in, asking questions and chatting to herself in a fruitless attempt at helping him recover his 'lost' memories. Most of the time, Kakashi is indifferent to her presence and always has a magazine handy as an excuse not to talk.

Today, Iroi is in a particularly good mood, humming to herself, greeting him with an energetic, “How are you doing today!”

Kakashi grunts a noncommittal response which doesn’t do much to discourage the woman’s good mood as she runs through a check-up routine.

“You should try watching U.A’s sports festival tomorrow. I hear it’s going to be particularly spectacular this year,” she says as she pulls the blinds on Kakashi's window, blocking out the distant city lights.

U.A? he recognises the name. Kakashi glances up over the pages of HERO!! MONTHLY BREAKDOWN. It is the third time he has read this issue.

“You know, since you like reading those hero magazines, I figured you would be interested in watching the ‘next generation of heroes’ debut,” she continues, noting his attention, “U.A always puts on a good show.”

Kakashi frowns. The problem with his amnesia cover story is that he is still trying to figure out what he can get away with not remembering. So far the doctor’s seem content to chalk up the disappearance of his long term memories to a ‘quirk’ accident but were always more concerned when he failed to recall basic factual information. Something to do with different parts of the brain being responsible for different types of information.

“Watch how?” He settles on asking. U.A. was supposed to be a hero-training academy so whatever this ‘sports festival’ was was worth checking out.

“Oh,” Iori pauses to think, “I, ah, think channel 2 with be covering it?” she hesitates, “You know what. I’ll look it up and let you know later. Sorry, I can’t carry my phone around with me while on shift.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and makes a show of returning to his magazine to dissuade further conversation.

Later the same evening, just before the end of the evening shift, Iori pokes her head into his room again. She is out of uniform, long hair untired, waving to catch his attention.

“The coverage is on channel 2 and starts at 11am,” She holds up her portable communication devise like it means something. It probably did mean something. The frequency by which people checked them suggested it had a function beyond basic communication. He has held off attempting to steal one because, unlike pens, people would notice and care if one went missing.

“Have fun watching! Oh… also, I forgot to ask…”

Kakashi raises a brow.

“I have a bunch of old gossip magazines. Mum used to read them all the time and there are a few hero-themed ones in the mix. I can bring them in if you want more stuff to read.”

“If you want.” Iori must have noticed him re-reading the magazines.

"I'll bring them on Friday!"

Iori had been unsubtly hinting that Kakashi might have had a history in heroics. It definitely wasn’t because reading information on a page just made sense when compared to the barrage of conflicting reports the television gave him. A few weeks with only the television as his information source has him writing off most of its information as useless or propaganda.

…

...

“HEELLLOOOOO, LISTENERS!”

Kakashi stares dully as the video footage, which had been giving him a bird’s eye view of a positively massive stadium, changes to a sweeping shot of what must be thousands of people crammed into seats. It almost makes him claustrophobic just watching it.

“WELLCOME TO OUR ANNUAL U.A. SPORTS FESTIVAL! THE HIGH SCHOOL ADOLESCENT RODEO YOU ALL LOVE TO WATCH. CAN A GET A ‘OH YEAH!’”

As if of one mind, thousands of people leap to their feet screaming. The camera angle changes again to show a grinning blond-haired man, seated at a desk and pointing enthusiastically at the camera. All these shot changes are going to give him a headache. Kakashi is already having reservations watching this and its only10 minutes.

“Thank you! You’re an AMAZING audience!”

It almost reminds him of the final Chunin Exam stages -if the Chunin exams had had three times the audience - which always involved some sort of combat display. There hadn’t been any public Chunin Exams recently for reasons such as a large portion of Konoha being flattened by Pein.

“FIRST UP ARE OUR FIRST-YEAR EVENTS! And what an exciting round of events they are, perfect for debuting our newest students! Give us a shout so they can feel your support!”

Another loud shot as thousands of people yelled in unison.

“Come on! Louder than that! These are your future Heroes I’m talking about! SHOW THEM SOME LOVE!”

More yelling. Kakashi turns down the volume.

“But! Wait just a minute!! We're not only here for our Hero students! As I'm sure you all know, behind every great hero is a hardworking support team! GIVE IT UP FOR our Support, Management and General departments who are also competing for a chance to face off in the finals!”

Kakashi sighs. He is getting the sense that this might be more for entertainment than utility purposes, conforming to the general trend of Hero-related stuff being flashy. Different from the Chunin exam which had deadly consequences if not taken seriously.

“Hey. Hey! HERE THEY COME NOW! OUR STUDENTS PARTICIPATING IN THE FIRST YEAR STAGE!”

What follows is an overly dramatized race where the only thing of interest to him are the obstacle types, including robots, - mobile mechanical weapons of some sort that produced a lot of environmental damage but were taken down fairly easily- and explosive devices that acted a lot like explosive tags. Then there was a team elimination round and one-on-one tournament fights after which the coverage shifts to the second year and third year stages.

He uncovers the sharingun only to discover that, while its memorisation function worked fine, the part that translated the movements into muscle memory felt off. Perhaps, the replication and copying component of the eye didn’t work when viewing a technique through a screen rather than in person. Interesting. As there wasn't anything particularly impressive technique-wise during the events he counts the new information as a net gain.

The student-heroes – he is not sure if there is an official term for a hero in training – barely match Konoha’s academy standard in their taijutsu and physical conditioning though there was marked improvement between first, second and third-year groups. These students were what...between 14-18 years old...and yet most had the skill level of an academy students and fresh genuin with only a few notable exceptions?

Sure, there were - honestly ridiculous- versatile and powerful bloodline abilities being thrown around like nothing, but ninjutsu techniques only took a shinobi so far without a strong base to work from. He shakes his head, reminding himself that these kids - because what else did you call combatants who hadn’t graduated yet- weren’t shinobi in training and would be policing civilians and engaging ‘Villains’ of similar skill levels. It was obvious that the students favoured non-lethal takedown methods and put little to no thought into stealth and misdirection during fights.

Different words…different priorities.

As Kakashi has yet to see any evidence that the country, Japan, was at war with another he thinks the skill level displayed might be serviceable. There were also no major conflicts between the country’s large cities over farmland, water sources and the like. Obviously, this place had sorted out the resource and distribution issues usually encountered when supporting such large populations. Or, who knows, maybe everything on the television was a carefully constructed lie to lull people into complacency.

Now he has seen an example of hero-students, he better understands the low combat ability demonstrated by the police. It also gives incite into the blurry recordings of Hero/Villain confrontations which played on repeat across the various ‘news’ reports. They all tended to hover around Chunin or maybe Special Jounin in terms of skill. He knows generalisations are dangerous so, until he saw the combat in person, he would exercise his usual level of caution. There were bound to be outliers after all-the impressive brute strength of the number one hero comes to mind- and there was no telling what advantages a bloodline ability might provide. Absently, he makes testing the susceptibly of people without chakra to genjustu as something to figure out sooner rather than later.

He sighs. This is why he hated the television. Whenever he watched it, he came away increasingly confused, with more questions than he had answers. Not to mention anything useful being constantly interrupted with information detailing one of the many products that he could apparently buy here. It irritated him to no end.

...

The chakra collecting seal is ready before the week is out. Mostly ready...it was ready enough.

Kakashi returns to the roof. Sitting cross-legged, back against the stairway entrance, he works his way through the 100 or so pens, cracking them open and tapping out ink into a large bowl, stolen -like the pens -from hospital staff.

The mix of black, blue and red ink is gluggy, forcing him to add water to thin the solution out. Once satisfied he pulls out an appropriated scalpel – one of a growing collection hidden alongside his pens because having a stash of weapons is never a bad thing- pricking his middle finger, watching the blood drip and curdle with the mixture. The blood would be absorbed into the ink, allowing it to conduct chakra. He mixes everything with pair of disposable chopsticks, taking care not to spill it on the ground or stain his hands.

The whole process reminds him of other insistences where he had improvised fuinjutsu ink in the field. The last time being during his final Anbu missions where he had created a body storage scroll from scratch after unexpectedly losing a squad mate on what should have been a simple intel retrieval mission. Not a particularly fond memory but a memory he was stuck with.

Since his demotion to Jonin-sensei there had been fewer of those sorts of missions. Not that being a Jonin-sensei had been easy – considering all his students had gone off to find other teachers he didn't even think he had been particularly good at it - bringing with it its own special brand of stress, culminating in a stint as Hokage, a fourth war and him stuck here. He is pretty sure his experiences aren't universal. Team 7 was just cursed to fail in increasingly spectacular ways.

He lets out a heavy sigh, leaving his airways open to a sudden gust of cold wind which carries the scent of cleaning chemicals from the hospital and oil from the road straight up his nose. He exhales forcefully and mentally bumps finding a face mask up his list of priorities. It would be good for hiding his features and dulling the artificial smells of a city housing over a million people.

The sound of wind whistling around the building almost blocks out the echo of feet in the stairway, approaching his location. In one smooth motion, Kakashi stands pushing the remaining broken pen back into the vent, nudging the cover back in place with his foot. Carefully he holds the bowl of ink in his injured arm and a scalpel in the other. Kakashi steps back against the entrance so the outward opening door would hide him from whoever came out.

A crying kid comes barrelling through the door.

Well, not completely crying, more like sniffing loudly, eyes all shiny. He even recognises the kid from the U.A combat demonstration, as improbable as that was. It is the first year hero student with the speed-enhancing ability which, seeing him up close, probably had something to do with the strange growths coming out of his caff muscles. High speed movement put enormous strain on the body so he could reasonably conclude that the kid was physically resilient to acceleration stress and similar forces. Not resilient to stabbing though....

Kakashi forces himself to relax, his scalpel lowering ever so slightly. Lucky he had heard the kid coming or he might have accidentally hurt him. A few weeks of reduced sleep coupled with a lot of time to ruminate on past missions and failures has put him on edge. This was exactly why he disliked taking extended breaks.

Maybe, Kakashi should start relocking the stairway if he was planning to make regular trips up here because the young male probably hadn’t had the roof in mind as a destination. Kakashi knows from experience that, unless you were injured or a member of staff, there were few good reasons to wander around a hospital at odd hours.

With the hero-student distracted sniffling into his arm, Kakashi slips around the door and back down the stairs. He hadn’t planned on applying the seal on the roof anyway. Too exposed to the elements and the concrete was too rough for the delicate line work.

He continues mixing while he walks, having mentally mapped the hospital well enough to know which hallways to use and which to avoid. There is a surgeon with some sort of heat-sensing vision who works late most nights that he must be careful around and a nurse with a weak proximity based empathic ability working in paediatrics. Both obstacles force him to take a meandering detour on his way to the ground floor and the larger shower blocks which housed cubicles the size of small rooms. Enough smooth floorspace for the expanded seal design and easy to clean afterwards. He supposes he is lucky, some complicated fuinjutsu required several meters worth of floor space. The containment on Saskue’s cursed seal comes to mind and he is glad that this seal is infinity smaller.

Not one to waste time knowing that nurses and patients regularly used the space even this late in the evening, he immediately slips into a cubicle upon arrival. Flopping onto the floor he pulls out the paintbrush he had had scour the hospital for and eventually to steal from the children’s ward. Carefully, he begins the slow process of application.

…

The final seal design is circular, about the size of his splayed hand, positioned on his uninjured shoulder just above where his Anbu seal had previously sat. The sleepwear provided by the hospital had sleeves that extend just past his bicep. It hid the design, for the most part. The final visible seal is a bit bigger than he had predicted or planned for. If this were a proper infiltration mission, where blowing his cover came at the price of death, he would be in big trouble. If this were a proper mission, he would have waited before applying this. An unnecessary risk. He itches the back of his head, turning from where he is craning his neck to see the seal, gathering up his supplies to be thrown in one of the hospital’s many rubbish bins. Kakashi lets out a breath. Maybe, this whole ‘trapped in a different world’ thing is affecting him more than he was willing to admit and making him sloppy.

He pulls down the sleeve so it mostly hides the design. Not like the doctors here would recognise the significance of fuinjutsu, he reminds himself, even if their questions would be annoying to deflect.

He pumps chakra into the seal and a jolt akin to lightning runs down his limb. It activates without issue and Kakashi grimaces as his chakra is slowly drained and collected. The rate of the drain is pathetically slow. Three years too slow. But, between this and his sharingan - which was always active and draining chakra- he can’t risk making it quicker. Despite the relatively low-level threats around him, Kakashi is, first and foremost, a Jonin in an unknown territory who is already taking risks simply making and applying the seal. He can’t afford to impair himself with poor chakra management on top of everything else.

Kakashi pops his head out of the cubical, scanning the shower block. Nothing of note has changed and he darts out, intent on returning to his room. He is tired and it would be a long, tiresome week as his body adjusted to the strain as well.

#bnha #bnha fanfic #naruto #CrossOver #dimension travel AU #hatake kakashi #kakashi headcanons #cultural shock #Iida makes a breif cameo #fanfiction #my hero academia #plot continues to move at a glacial pace

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red1culous · 3 years

Text

Here and Now Waiting part 2

A/N: Can be read as a standalone or as part a continuation of Here and Now.

You look around furtively as you joined the line of people in front of you. It was silly but long queues always made you nervous. What if you bumped into someone you knew? Would you be able to hold a conversation for the few minutes it would take you to reach the checkout line? What if it was someone you didn’t like? A school bully or a crush who turned you down? Why were you even thinking about this?

You look down at your shopping basket filled with provisions you would need for the next week. Why on earth was the supermarket so full on a Thursday evening? You place the basket down by your feet and stretch your back popping a few joints in the process. Loosening the crocodile clip that held your hair in a messy bun you start to massage the back of your neck.

The sharp tone of your mobile phone ringing from the back pocket of your jeans pulls you from your thoughts. Was it too late now to ditch the queue and head home? Surely you could do the weekly shop tomorrow morning? You grab the phone and check the name on the display before answering it with a small smile on your face. “Hey what’s up?”

“Hey” Carol’s chipper voice sounds through the phone, “you still at the shops?” she asks. You hear the sound of the fridge door opening and slamming shut in the background followed by a groan.

“Yeap” you pop the P for emphasis, “seems like the entire city decided to do their shopping today so the line is as long as the tales that Sam used to spin.” She chuckles at your response. “What do you need?” you add.

“We’re out of ice cream” she huffs.

You glance down at the shopping basket by your feet. “I know and I’ve got 3 tubs in the basket.”

“Lifesaver!” she squeals before hanging up on you.

“You’re welcome! Bye! Geez!” you say with a smile on your face as pocket the phone shaking your head slightly.

“Next!” you hear the voice of a cashier as you inch closer and closer to the check out register. Your phone blares again and the old lady waiting behind you startles a little at the sound. Going to grab it again you mouth an apology to her. Without looking at screen you answer it. “Carol! Seriously! Woman have a little patience please I’ve also got those brownies that you—“

“Y/N?” the gruff voice of a man stops you mid sentence. You remove the phone from the side of your face to look at the number. The words PRIVATE NUMBER flash and you can hear the mans muffled voice speak.

“…it’s Clint. You there?”

You blink a few times in disbelief. You hadn’t spoken to any of the Avengers for almost 6 months. “Is everything ok?” you ask feeling the blood drain from your face.

“Umm…yea?” he answers. You’re not convinced.

“Where are you?” he asks.

“I’m…” you swallow hard, “…I’m at the shops. Why?”

“Can you umm…” he starts before the line cuts in and out.

You press the phone closer to your ear. “Clint I can’t hear you.”

“Sorry…it’s a little crazy back here” he answers with a small chuckle. “Can you get here?”

“Here? Where?” you ask as you push your cart with your feet a few inches forward as your line moves again.

“Oh…ah…the compound. Maybe tomorrow? Are you free?”

“I guess so” you say resting a hand on your hip.

“You’re staying with Carol right? I can send a car to get you.”

“What’s this about, Clint?” you ask perplexed, “and how’d you know I’m with Carol?”

Clint lets out a slow but audible breath. “Umm…I can’t tell you over the phone. We’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah but who’s—“

“Great! Thanks Y/N” he interrupts before hanging up.

“Jesus why do people do that!” you moan to yourself. You take a deep breath before sliding the phone into your pocket. After a few minutes of waiting in line a lady calls you forward and you smile weakly at the serious looking, heavy set woman sitting behind the cash register. As she rings out your items she tells you the total - or more like shouts it to you. Handing her a $50 note she passes you your change before staring longingly at her tip jar. You smile apologetically at her but decide that today is not the day you would be tipping anyone. You were not in the mood after the sudden call from Clint. You told yourself you at least deserved something to calm your nerves on the ride home. Maybe a McDonald’s fries or a chocolate sundae would do the trick.

---

Tagging: @thewidowintheweb @natasharomanoffismywife @imnotasuperhero @cybeleceto @silverwing2522 @thelastavenger-3000 @peggycarter-steverogers @rooskaya-yelena @blackwidowromonoff @lesbian-x-blackwidow @nowthisisliving27 @izalesbean @aaron-despair @marvelfansince08love @rileigh519 @wannabe-fic-reader @hcartbyheart @marvel-randomness @thewitchandtheassassin @username23345 @xixxiixx @rebeliz777 @summergeezburr @frostedfavesmain @higherfurther-romanova @sapphicluxanna @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @madamevirgo @an-evergreen-rose @chicken-wang09

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow x reader #black widow #redfic #here and now waiting

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delimeful · 4 years

Text

WIBAR Intermission: New Friends

winner of the first july patreon poll! thanks to @legendsgates for allowing me to sneak in a brief cameo of their alien species, cetarfreka!

previous intermission episode | start of WIBAR

warnings: violence, fear, tension, ptsd episodes, injury mention, being held hostage, misunderstandings, deception

It was about halfway through their trading circuit that the vidcomm from the Mindscape popped up.

Remyy perked up instantly, Patton’s distinctive singsong voice clear even from half across the main bay. They dropped to their feet and tucked all their wings tight against them to signal that anyone in the way should swiftly get out of the way. Those in the bay who knew them cast strange glances in their direction as they hop-skittered across the floor.

Remyy couldn’t blame them; this was probably the fastest they’d moved all week. They usually maintained a much more casual demeanor for the sake of their reputation, but in this case...

“Patton! Babes, you’re really okay!”

“Remyy!” The Ampen fluffed up, a pleasant glow filling the room around him, face pinching up happily.

In this case, exceptions would be made.

The Obrxyx currently managing the comms sighed at them, unimpressed. “You have this one, then?”

“Sure do,” Remyy drawled, still leaning between xem and the monitor so that half their face took up the comm screen. “We go way back, I’ll get them docked.”

They waited impatiently for xem to move to a different comm terminal, adjusted the seatpad so they could be seen properly through the comm, and promptly started complaining. “I can’t believe you guys, holing up in that rinky dink ship for so long with only voice calls to tell everyone that you were okay! Where’s the gossip? Why in the universe would you keep it from me?”

Patton’s hands jerked, and the comm screen wobbled, blurring his expression strangely for a moment. Remyy tilted their goggles slightly for a better angle, but by the time the mobile communicator stabilized, any change in demeanor had vanished.

“Be careful, Rem,” Patton said teasingly, “it almost sounds like you care about us or something.”

“Funny,” Remyy replied dryly, “I’ll have you know that I’ve just been missing Logan’s high quality deathbrew, none of that sentimental garbage.”

Patton laughed at them silently with his gaze alone. Innocent, naive Ampen, their ass.

“Are we cleared to dock y-- Is that Remyy?” Another voice from offscreen dropped abruptly into horror, and Remy’s eyes narrowed in gleeful amusement.

“It sure is, gurl,” they called, “and the Remyy in question seems to recall a certain bet that was never paid up on. 30 cenals, cough ‘em up.”

There was a loud groan, and then a thump that shook the comm slightly. Patton spent a moment staring at something with a confused frown, and then seemed to get it, nodding. He turned back to them very seriously.

“Sorry, Roman can’t come to the comm right now,” he informed them. “He, uh, died. Very recently. And tragically."

Belatedly, he put on a sad expression, antennae drooping. Remyy raised their eyebrows, unimpressed.

“Uh huh. Well, I suppose I’ll just have to join in on the funeral rites once I get down to help carry the goods over, huh--?”

“No!” The voices of both his friends overlapped, making the comm audio fuzz harshly for a moment. Remyy’s secondaries flared slightly, taken aback at the vehemence.

“Uh, I mean, we don’t have that much,” Patton hurried to patch up the awkward pause. “How about we meet you in the docking lobby instead? You can get Roman’s credits there.”

“Hey!”

Remyy’s ears angled back with displeased confusion, but they acquiesced anyhow. “Hurry up, then. And make sure Logan brings my brew!”

Whatever it was they were hiding, Remyy was sure they’d be able to weasel it out of them in no time.

---

After grabbing a short meal and a boring haggling session between the Mindscape’s crew and the cargo manager of the Starwinder, Remyy finally got to learn about what had happened to Patton during his disappearance.

It wasn’t pretty.

Their senspatches felt dry at the mere thought of Patton stripped of his coat and forced to starve because of it. It was beyond lucky that the remaining two of the trio managed to find and free the Ampen from the harvesters before it was too late. If anyone could do it, though, they believed this crew could.

Patton had grown quieter and less fluffy throughout the course of the tale, with Roman and Logan taking turns delivering a well-practiced explanation of the events. Seeing as these were extenuating circumstances, Remyy submitted to cuddles just this once, allowing the small alien to bury his face in the folds of their leathery armwings.

They took a moment once the story was over, casually and completely unintentionally folding more of their wing over Patton. “That bites, babes.”

“Yeah.” The Ampen hummed in response, mouth pinched strangely. “I… I’m really grateful that I got help when I did.”

Logan set a careful hand on Patton’s back, though the motion almost came across as less comforting and more… cautioning? Remyy’s senspatches flared up slightly as they tried to read more into the situation.

Before they could really investigate, though, Roman was leaning forwards and grabbing the edge of their arm to get their attention.

“Remyy. We’ve been having something of an adjustment period. Drop it, please?”

They flickered their ears at him dismissively, but really… looking at the small crew, they could see a sort of wariness reflected in their stiff posture, the way the three of them constantly cast glances back to the dock hall that would lead to their ship. Trying to make sure they had a quick exit. Whatever the details of their experience, it was stressing them out to lay it all out in the open like this. Remyy could understand that.

“Fine, whatever,” they sighed, sipping at the bitter brew Logan had thoughtfully provided. “I suppose I’ll keep my awe-inspiring ability to root out interesting tidbits to myself for now. I can just grill Lo later.”

The three friends slumped in relief, and Remyy turned their face away slightly to allow them some privacy to recover. They probably wouldn’t appreciate it, that was mostly an Elimtran thing, but it was the effort that counted. They cast about for some other topic to distract. What else had they heard about lately… oh!

“Have you all heard the stories about the rogue Human going around lately?”

There was spluttering, and they turned back to see Roman seemed to have inhaled mid-drink, and was now muffling coughs into his shoulder. Patton studiously avoided eye contact as he patted the Cravon sympathetically. Logan shifted one arm out from where they were politely tucked away, looking intensely intrigued. Strange, he wasn’t usually one for gossip.

“We have not,” he stated, hands twitching in preparation for his thought weaving thing. “Would you care to elaborate?”

“Uh, duh,” they replied, trying not to think too much on the rather extreme reaction. If the crew was really so stressed, it made sense that news of a Human would freak them out. Shit, they sucked at this. Gathering information would make them feel more secure, yeah? “It’s been circulating at some of the more shady ports we’ve been to, rumors that a small-tier smuggling ring recently managed to rise through the ranks just because they got their hands on a Human and knew how to use it to their advantage. That much is like, okay, horrifying to know that there’s still Humans out there in the outer ranges, but whatever, it’s under lock and key.”

Patton clung to their wing tighter. They paused, deliberating on whether or not to continue.

“I assume, going by the fact that you called h-- it a ‘rogue’ Human, that's not the case anymore?” Logan supplied, waving for them to proceed.

“Well, yeah. Apparently, it tore through practically half the group members before escaping, and now people are reporting cases of a bloodthirsty Human all over this quadrant. Not that the calls are accurate. It’s just hearsay,” they made sure to add. “It might just be someone trying to work the local governs into a panic, put pressure on the Council for this or that political maneuver.”

Logan didn’t respond for a concerning amount of time. “Right. Of course, that is plausible. Still, thank you for the information, Remyy. We will… keep it in mind.”

Remyy sunk lower in their seat, regretting bringing the topic up at all. “Mm. You do that, babes. Remember the stats, too. There’s a warrant out. Sooner or later, the Council will probably find whoever’s at the source of the rumors and put them to rights, Human or not.”

“That’s… great,” Roman got to his feet abruptly. “I think maybe we should head out soon. We’ve got that next landing to prep for, after all. Holmao isn’t known for its gentle terrain.”

“What?” Remyy’s secondaries flared slightly as they stood up too, abandoning their drink and dislodging Patton. “You just got here! Aren’t you at least going to catch a night’s rest? No offense to your ship, but the arti-grav ain’t exactly stellar.”

“That’s why we need to do more jobs! Save up for better arti-grav installation, right guys?” Roman’s voice seemed slightly frantic. Remyy suddenly remembered what little history the Cravon had shared with them, and swore mentally. They really, really shouldn’t have brought up the Human.

“Ro, look, I’m so--”

Their voice abruptly cut off as a cool line of metal pressed between their wings, right against their life vein. They saw as Roman’s eyes locked on something behind them, scales rising to a prickling stand quicker than they’d ever witnessed before.

“Nobody move,” a voice behind them called in clear, precise Common. “Or you get to bleed out right after this one.” The flat of the blade pressed harder against their back, and they couldn’t stop their ears from flattening completely in terror.

“Let them go,” Roman demanded, halfway to a snarl. Before he could even take a step, though, more armed strangers were swarming into the lobby, barking orders for the few other people currently in the room to get down. Expression dark, Roman held his arms out in a gesture of compliance, though his scales continued to stick out in a defensive bristle.

Raiders, it had to be. Remyy knew they knew the reptilian symbol that was engraved in each of the strangers black masks, but they couldn’t remember the group’s name for the fear flooding their mind, keeping them frozen in place.

One of them kicked Patton clear away from Remyy’s legs, and the Ampen let out a short shriek of pain before clapping his hands over his mouth. The raider behind Remyy laughed, apparently unconcerned about any alarms being raised, but Remyy was more focused on the way the Mindscape crew exchanged panicked glances, Logan kneeling next to Patton and subtly signing something in Crav’n.

“Now, here’s how this is going to work.” The one behind Remyy gestured with their other hand, which Remyy could now see was holding a paralyzer. Raiders were known for using them to get information, since most aliens could take a few shots from one before succumbing to the pain. “You’re all going to line up against the wall while we search your vessels, and in exchange, nobody has to die, got it?”

Remyy could only look straight ahead, so they got a clear view of Patton’s furious glow dimming down to horrified in an instant at the leader’s words. Whatever the three of them were hiding, it was hidden on their ship, and apparently not well enough.

They ran their tongue along their teeth for a moment, debating, and then wiggled their ears slightly, loosening the grip their goggles had until they were slipping down their face slightly. Only their upper eyes were exposed, but with any luck, it would be enough.

It wasn’t long till they managed to make eye contact with a nearby raider; the leader was the one giving orders, after all, and they were being held hostage by said leader, so it made sense that eyes would stray in their direction.

The moment they locked gazes, Remyy flickered their pupils and let their senspatches slowly pulse. The raider took a moment to bob their head in confusion before becoming visibly more relaxed, and Remyy didn’t waste any time. 'Circle around and attack the one holding me.'

The raider swayed slightly for a moment before moving to obey, a side effect of not being exposed to the full hypnotic effect of their eyes, and Remyy had a moment to feel hopeful that maybe they could actually pull this off.

“Grahh’m, what are you-- Oh, you little shit,” the leader spat, moments before a strike to the side of Remyy’s head had them seeing stars. They heard Roman growling furiously, still forced to the ground under threat of gunfire, and hoped that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. He wouldn’t be any use if he was convulsing from pain.

“I should have known better than to leave an Elimtra awake and armed, hmm?” The leader flipped them to their back, pressing a knee to their chest and crushing their secondaries uncomfortably against the floor. A moment later, their other hand was shoving their goggles harshly back over their face.

Remyy gagged slightly as all the air was forced from their lungs. “Probably should’ve, ye-- eah,” they replied, struggling to inhale again.

“Funny.” There was a glint of silver uncomfortably close to their eyes. The knife. Remyy regretted the snark. They regretted the snark so much.

The leader paused. “Oren, is it the eyes or the little spots under them that do the hypnotizing, do you recall?”

There was a pause, in which ‘Oren’ seemed to have no answer, and Remyy realized with a chill just what was being threatened. The leader considered them for a moment, and then pulled their dark mask further up to cover more of their face.

“I suppose I’ll just get rid of both, hmm?” The knife wavered closer.

Across the room, there was a loud crash, and a strangled yell that cut off as quick as it started. Remyy watched as the leader’s head jerked up, and saw the moment that the severe frown on their face abruptly transformed into utter terror. Hurriedly, the raider stood back up, and they were pulled up along, shoved in front of them like a shield.

It didn’t take long to see why. Across the lobby, near the entrance to the dock halls, a tall, slender figure was holding the remains of what must have been a seatpad. The rest of it appeared to be lying crumpled along with the limp raider that had been closest to that entryway.

The whisper spread through the room as quick as any small-town rumor: Human.

The being was scanning the eerily-silent space, and when it reached the spot where the leader stood, accompanied by Remyy and friends, it’s lips curled up into a vicious snarl, teeth on full display. It moved forwards in a way Remyy could only describe as predatory, and the leader went tense behind them. “Stop that thing, now!”

One raider, either damn brave or damn stupid, charged right in, and received the rest of the seatpad to the skull for their efforts. Remy winced at the sound. This seemed to be the signal for the rest of the raiders to converge, and the room descended into pandemonium.

In the thick of it all, the Human-- for what else could it really be?-- continued to advance, unrelenting. It wasn’t as fast as some aliens Remyy had met, but it didn’t need to be. The way that it stalked through the room radiated threat like an oath, and when opponents did dare to stand in it’s way, the blows were vicious and crunching, often leaving splatters of residue on its skin.

Most frightening of all was the way it handled the paralyzers, which should have driven any creature with pain receptors to the floor. Each time a shot landed on the human, it would tear the spiked prongs out with a twitch and a grimace and just keep moving.

By the time the leader realized that a strategic retreat was long overdue, it was already far too close for comfort. Remyy heard a swear behind them, and then they were being shoved, hard.

They caught a glimpse of Roman moving, and then they found themself busy tripping directly into a Human’s warpath. So much for surviving this.

They folded their wingarms over their head in some paltry attempt at defense as they fell. There was a grunt, and then a hot grip on their shoulders, all-too-close to the base of their secondaries and stars above were they going to have their glider wings torn clear off--?

“‘Scuse me,” the Human muttered in Common, and then lifted Remyy clear off the ground, easy-as-you-please, and set them down to the side. It brushed past them, heading straight towards Roman and the others, and Remyy stared after it.

Rather than continue after the leader, who had been thoroughly pinned by Roman and was currently swearing viciously, the Human stopped in front of Logan and Patton and dropped to a crouch. Remyy jerked forward, but neither of their friends seemed keen to jump away or defend themselves. In fact, Patton looked to be carefully headbutting the Human’s chest, and Logan was speaking in low, comforting tones. Even stranger, the Human seemed to be listening.

The circuits connected in their mind, illuminating a truly outlandish conclusion.

They whistled lowly, drawing all the attention in the room to them. “Listen up, babes. As a subsect representative of the Council, I’m authorized to do my thing here, so I’m gonna need everyone to follow my directions.”

“Remyy, what?” Roman asked, and was thoroughly ignored. A nearby Cetarfris protested from where they were practically pressed halfway up the wall, red eyes wide and patterned tail thrashing in terror.

“Are you genuine? Do you not see the Human right there?”

Remyy clicked their tongue in reproach. “Gurl, do I not have enough eyes for you or somethin’? I will handle the Human. What else is the Council good for?”

“Uh, governing?” someone else muttered. Remyy ignored them, too.

“I need all the raiders that haven’t already jetted in holding cells immediately. I’m sure there’ll be a hefty reward for members of this particular gang, even if they’re small fries, so anyone who pitches in can get some of that bounty. And remember, keep your mouths shut about this unless you want to be up to your orifices in paperwork at best. If you have to gossip, keep names out of it or I'll know who snitched.” Remyy shifted their goggles up on their forehead, turning to the Human and ignoring the thick tension in the room. “I’ll escort the Human to proper captivity. Roman, Logan, Patton, with me.”

As expected, the mere fact that the Mindscape crew were accompanying seemed to put the Human at ease, even if just slightly. Now, came the bit that would make or break the lie. They moved forwards slowly and reached out for the Human’s shoulder, tugging slightly at it as though this wasn't the creature that had just plowed through a band of raiders like they were dust in the wind. “C’mon, babes.”

After a pause, the Human followed. The relief in the room was palpable, and Remyy was no exception. They liked a good bet as much as the next guy, but generally preferred when there weren’t so many lives at stake.

See, the thing about being a species that was somewhat infamous for their hypnotic abilities was that everyone assumed you were using them, even if you weren’t. This tended to lean more in the direction of being a bad thing, but in this case, it helped Remyy tremendously, as nobody cast a second glance at them as they guided the docile Human through the lobby.

That might also have been because nobody wanted to be in the same room as a rogue Human for very long, but such was the way of things. Small details.

Soon enough, they reached the dock halls, and Remyy swiftly led the four of them onboard the Mindscape. They closed and locked the connecting port after them, and resisted the urge to collapse in relief.

Instead, they turned around to assess the rest of this mess.

It was quite a scene, and at first, they seemed too busy amongst themselves to even notice Remyy.

The Human was curled in on themself in one corner, looking pallid and ill, but also coiled so tightly it looked like they were one wrong word from fleeing the quadrant. Positioned firmly in front of them, Roman was audibly rattling from head to tail, moving on automatic as he bodily prevented the other two from approaching. Remyy would have thought the gesture was for the Human’s sake if not for the way Roman angled his own body, like he expected to be attacked from behind at any moment.

“It’s not safe,” he uttered over and over, gaze haunted. “It’s not safe. You have to hide.”

Patton warbled in wordless distress, and Logan gave up on trying to pull Roman away, instead simply holding his ground and speaking to the Cravon, calm and firm.

“This isn’t then, Roman. We’re here, and that is Virgil, and he is not going to hurt us. We’re safe. We are on the Mindscape. We are safe. Observe the space around you. Can you tell me five things you see?”

Remyy waited unobtrusively as the two of them slowly coaxed Roman back into the present, bit by bit. When he hunched over to be closer to his shorter friends, Patton carefully grabbed his hand, rubbing small circles into it in a soothing gesture Remyy wasn’t familiar with. “You with us, Ro?”

Roman signed something with his other hand, too quick for Remyy to grasp, and Patton smiled, a bit sad. “We’re okay, but there’s a little bit of a situation going on with Remyy, remember?”

Roman glanced at them, and then to the Human, who was still vibrating violently. Remyy had thought it was barely restrained anger, at first, but the longer they watched, the more it seemed compulsive, more fearful than furious. It only increased as Roman’s attention fell heavy on him.

“I didn’t mean to,” the Human said, voice as shaky as the rest of him. “I swear, I-- I just heard Patton yell, and they had weapons, like-- I… I didn't want to hurt anyone. I’m sorry that I-- that I did. But you guys were in danger. I couldn’t just... leave you to that.”

He sounded almost resigned, like he was trying to plead his case but had already accepted deep down that it was pointless to fight his sentence. When Roman turned away from him, his thoughts only seemed to be confirmed, and his face dropped another shade as his gaze darted over to Remyy. He seemed apprehensive, not that Remyy could really blame him. Poor guy probably thought he was about to be surrendered to law enforcement.

“Remyy.” Roman’s voice sounded wrung out, and from Patton’s concerned expression, the Cravon probably didn’t normally force himself to speak after episodes like this. “Virgil isn’t-- He’s better here with us. He doesn’t... deserve to be subjected to the Council just because he decided to... to save us.”

The Cravon opened his mouth as though to say more, but the words didn’t come. Instead, he signed something short and planted himself in a sitting position in front and slightly to the side of the Human, even as his scales still shivered. ‘Virgil’ was staring at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Roman’s right!” Patton took the opportunity to jump in front of them like the universe’s smallest, cutest guardian angel, cloak and ruff fluffed up stalwartly. Most effective of all was the Ampen’s ‘I’m-not-mad-I’m-just-disappointed-at-your-life-choices’ look. “Virgil is part of our family, and I’ll fight you about it!”

The Ampen’s tiny glare wasn't nearly as alarming as the assessing look Virgil cast over them, like he thought Remyy was really going to try and fight Patton and was prepared to intervene. They resisted the urge to cast their lower eyes up in exasperation. Who would fight Patton? There was no reward, you’d just end up feeling bad. And also end up getting totally trashed by a Human, apparently.

As always, Logan was the one to get it first. He stepped forwards, extending a hand. “Before you take any legal action against our crew member, I’d like to see your Council identification.”

Remyy’s cheeks bunched up smugly as they stretched their armwings out in front of them casually. “That’s too bad, Brainiac, ‘cause I totally don’t have any.”

There was a brief pause. “What, you guys really thought I was some kind of narc?”

“You lied right to all those people’s faces?” Patton asked, somewhat aghast. Roman shot them a dirty look at the deception, but he also let all the tension leak out of him, so Remyy counted it as a win. Logan simply looked exasperated.

“Not completely. I’ve got connections to get their bounties called in quick, and I ‘handled’ the Human, didn’t I? It’s not my fault if they misinterpreted things.”

“This is all you’re going to do to… ‘handle’ me?” the Human asked, looking uncertain, a little suspicious, and even kind of bewildered. “Just… let me go? What’s the catch?”

They really did roll their eyes up this time. “Babes, I’m covering for you. Seeing as you literally just saved my beautiful face, and these losers vouch for you, I figure you can get some benefit of the doubt. Besides, I’m not done with you all just yet.”

The four of them studied Remyy with varying levels of wariness, and then confusion as the Elimtra strolled past them all to head further into the ship.

“If you think you’re going anywhere before you tell me all about how this whole situation came about, honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.”

#sanders sides #space au #wibar #ts remy #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts virgil #watch it burn and rust #wibar intermission #wibar int: nf #writing #my writing #im so tired... zzz #this is the first time ive ever written remy so please be nice #i had fun though ;w;#i cant think of any more tags i hope you guys enjoy!#zzz

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saikokirakira · 2 years

Text

Title: (Work in progress)

Word Count: 1k of pure angst

Characters: Steve Rogers x gn!(SE) Asian!Reader

Description: He's leaving, and you're feeling his happiness out of desperation.

Warnings: None. Except unproofread, 3am delirious written work. Oh, and I posted this on Tumblr mobile, so I can't add the "Read more" button. Apologies.

“And I know you need me here, but I know that I won’t stay.” — “Voyager,” Birdy

Sometimes you wonder how you ended up in this scenario...

... how you got this far – being wrapped in Steve Roger’s arms as his forehead pressed against yours. How did something so right end up so wrong along the way. How did years of getting over and moving on just disappear with one instance.

“I have to go,” Steve whispered, now pressing his lips on the top of your head. He breathed in your scent one last time before having to only remember it by memory. He didn’t want to go, to let go of you, so why was he leaving? You didn’t understand.

Swallowing your pride, you tapped into Steve’s mind, feeling his emotions, trying to piece the logic on why he was throwing away the good he had here in this moment. Nothing. It was out of pure selfishness, something he wanted for himself, and himself only: a life in the time that he had lost.

You didn’t know if Steve was coming back, if he meant to only experience a glimpse of what could have been. You had to ask. “Are you coming back?”

Pulling away from you, Steve’s pained smile told you everything you needed to know, and you didn’t need to use your powers to figure it out.

“What about Bucky? Your promise to him. You wanted to die for him,” you said, almost pleading if it wasn’t for you still tapped into Steve’s bittersweet, selfish happiness. “Sam. He put years of his life on hold for you. Out of loyalty and respect. Out of friendship.” Then, in a softer voice, you continued, “Me. What about me? How many times do I have to lose you?”

“This will be the last time you lose me, that I ever hurt you,” Steve said, cupping your cheeks to face him when you tried to look away. “I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

You shook your head. “It doesn’t have to be. It’s not the same as before. You’re leaving me now out of your own choice,” you spat out, ripping his hands off of you. “And for what? A fling?”

Steve said your name softly, trying to soothe you.

“You know what she did to me. What she allowed to happen. How could you?” You looked at Steve with disdain.

“You know this isn’t the life I want to live,” Steve argued. “I can’t fight wars and battles for the rest of my life. I know you can feel that.”

“Then live the life you want with me,” you implored, grabbing his hands despite feeling all his happiness again, “with Sam and Bucky, with us. We can make you happy.” Hope sparked in you belly as you felt his hesitance and finally, the hurt.

But as Steve let go of your hands once more, the same stubbornness was displayed on his face, the very face you looked forward seeing every morning before he dragged you out for a morning run. He made up his mind. It was a lost cause on your side.

As a final measure, you opened your mind to fill your emotions with him, with just Steve. There was nothing but happiness and relief... as if he was coming home. It made you wonder if everything you’ve been through with him were lies, but you didn’t want to think about that. You were desperate in feeling Steve in these last moments with him.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Steve asked in a manner of goodwill.

You closed your eyes and breathed, disconnecting yourself from your personal emotions. Once you opened your eyes, you smiled brightly at Steve. He was unnerved at the sight of you using your full powers on yourself and no longer putting up a fight, but he couldn’t hesitate again. He couldn’t bear crushing again that small glimmer of hope in your eyes thinking that he still had a life here.

“I’m happy for you,” you said, even though Steve was fully aware that you were borrowing his happiness to lie in his face. “All I feel is you, and I’m glad we had this final moment together.”

Steve frowned and looked at you sadly. “Tell me how you really feel,” he whispered.

“I already did,” you smiled dejectedly. “Now, all I can do is just feel you, so I don’t have to face the betrayal until you’re gone forever.”

Saying those words with a genuine smile and seeing the reflection of his own selfish emotions in that beautiful face of yours, Steve felt sick to his stomach. He did this to you; he pushed you to this point. He could already hear Sam and Bucky – heck, he can even hear Tony saying that what he was doing to you was fucked up.

“Hey,” you said softly, reaching up to gently palm at his cheek and pull Steve out of his lamentation, “I guess this is goodbye.” Your own real emotion leaked for a brief second in the form of a tear falling down your cheek. “Don’t hesitate anymore. Be happy, okay? You should be after everything that has happened here.” Including the good.

You almost didn’t let him go, so you waited until Steve pulled himself from your touch. He grabbed the suitcase containing all Infinity Stones and Mjolnir before heading out of the small safehouse near the lake where the remaining Avengers resided for the moment but not for long anymore. A few yards away near the lakeside was a smaller machine where you knew Steve would step in and never come back.

You couldn’t bring yourself to watch that. To see Bucky’s and Sam’s own betrayal leech onto yours through your powers. All you wanted was to feel his happiness until the very end.

And that end lasted for ten more minutes. Then you were left again with the betrayal and sorrow. With weakened knees, you fell back into a nearby chair and covered your face into your palms, breaking into uncontrollable pained sobs and occasional cries of agony.

Steve was gone. The happiness was gone, leaving behind a cold trail of hurt and self-doubt for the people he abandoned. And with one final question that left hanging in the air: How did we end up this way?

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x yn #steve rogers #captain america #mcu fanfic #marvel fanfic #avengers endgame

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tomaturtles · 4 years

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Some things for content creators regarding posting on Tunglr Dot Com

Hi hello this is just a small collection of notes re. Posting Things on this site for fellow content creators cause I know we’re all just trying to Get Noticed out here. Some are based on stuff i’ve read about and have been keeping to and some are based on my own experiences

Put in the relevant tags to search for your work first! Only the first five tags in a post were searchable for a while and I believe it’s been since updated to the first twenty tags, but regardless get the tags people might search for like fandom or characters out of the way first! And if you’re into tag rambling, save those for last.

Make sure your post actually ended up in the tags! Tumblr clowns a lot so it’s always good to make sure your post ended up in there. This is important so that anyone searching through the tags can see it; otherwise it’ll be limited to those looking at your blog or reblogs of the post. Look up one of the first tags on it, set the search to “most recent” and see if your post is there! (it helps checking the tag before you post so you know where your post would be)

You don’t have to delete the post and make a new one if it’s not showing up in the tags. Sometimes taking out or tweaking some the tags can fix it and make the post show up properly. I usually experiment with removing rambling or unnecessary tags and saving until the post ends up in the tags, and messing around with readding them until it continues to stick. Yes it’s still annoying, but it’s helpful if your post’s already gotten engagement by the time you notice it’s not in the tags. (i am specifically making this post cause i’ve been posting art here for 5 years and only found this out this week)

If your posts consistently don’t show up in the tags, there might be an issue with your blog on Tumblr’s end. Shadowbanned? Marked as explicit? I dunno what the problem is called, but if in addition to that you’ve noticed you can’t seem to search for anything on your blog and you don’t appear on the notes of posts you’ve interacted with, your blog might have been wrongfully flagged and it may be worth sending tumblr support a message about it. (it happened to me once and they fixed it!)

Linking to websites outside of Tumblr is iffy. I’m unsure if it’s been confirmed that linking outside of Tumblr always results in your post not appearing in the tags or if it’s a dumb luck thing, but it seems to happen a lot so better safe than sorry. Tumblr links are fine, so an option if you want to add a link is including it in a reblog of the post and linking to the reblog in the op!

Edits to the original post now carry over to its reblogs! Or at least that seems to be the case since a recentish update. If you’ve noticed a mistake in your post that’s bugging you but you don’t want to repost the whole thing, this is an option!

And lastly, for those who browse content this time: The mobile app and XKit on desktop both have a quick reblog option! On mobile it’s there if you long press over the reblog button, and on XKit it’s under the One-Click Postage extension. Both are handy to make reblogs speedier and share content you like.

These are probably varying degrees of well-known by most users but no harm in repeating for newer people, hope it helps someone out! If I missed anything feel free to add to this also

#art tips #art help #tumblr tips #artists on tumblr #for the one who made this post i have no idea what to tag this with huh #i typed this up on desktop so hopefully its not a giant brick of text on mobile #still losing my mind over the fact you can just fiddle w tags until the post shows up in the tags #then again ive been posting p niche content for a good while until i got into batman recently so i just didnt pay much attention to tags #i dunno if theres a science to why they dont show up sometimes or if its just random but who knows #ANYWAY hope i havent clowned on any of these and also hope thesell help fellow artists out yeehaw #toma talks

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flufflepuffle296 · 4 years

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Heathers au: Beautiful Songfic

This is more centred around Veronica/Marinette so not really any mentions of Heather/Heather/Heather. Sorry if someone’s done this before I apologise I just got into Heathers like two days ago. Also I changed some lyrics and took others out to make it more “realistic”. Sorry I suck at endings, it’s 5:30am rn and this is my first fic so be nice please! (I’m on mobile so I can’t add the keep reading tag so sorry if you don’t like this) xxx

I brushed down my dress: I couldn’t give them anything to criticise me over. Everything had to be perfect. I had to be perfect. Chloé sat next to me, my beautiful fiancée, slipping on her kitten heels. She may be 3 months pregnant but no Bourgeois woman would be seen wearing flats. I was in a red floor length a line dress — I grew out of my childish pink years ago, before it even went out of fashion! My hair was twisted into two plaits that were knotted together into a stylish bun at the back. Chloé meanwhile had stuck to her white and gold aesthetic, currently in a slim fitting white dress, showing off her small baby bump, decorated with gold jewellery. I rummaged through my drawers, trying to find a lipstick, when a thin book toppled out. I picked it up, and laughed fondly when I saw what it was.

My old Collège and Lycée diary.

I flipped through it, landing on the page that stuck most clearly in my mind. It was the day my class reminded me of my current reality at that time, shocking me out of a bubble that had surrounded me during the summer holidays that year.

September 1st, 1989.

Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year!

And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

I bit my lip. What happened? I knew darn well what happened. Lila Rossi. She came in, flaunting her friendships and connections, a new disability every other week to cry about, another rumour about me coming out every 3 days.

Alya ended our friendship, Adrien continued to cry about Lila’s feelings. Lila just kept doing what she did best. The class gave up on changing my mind and instead decided that calling me names would be better. Because logic?!

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Burnout!” “Bug-eyes!” “Poser!” “Lard-ass!” Were the insults they liked to yell daily. Yeah, they weren’t the most creative...

We were so tiny, happy and shiny. Playing tag and getting chased. Singing and clapping, laughing and napping. Baking cookies, eating paste.

Nino and Kim used to come over to the bakery when we were kids, where we’d gorge ourselves on sweets, before celebrating our sugar rushes by chasing each other in the park and then crashing on my sofa, cuddled in blankets and laying on top of each other.

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger. Like the Huns invading Rome. Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon. College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful...Just not today.

I scoffed at my optimism back then. Them changing? They never did, I don’t know why I bothered trying at that point. I should’ve moved on but hey! We all make mistakes. It’s just that sometimes you make 11 friendships worth of mistakes.

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Cripple!” “Homo!” “Homo!” “Homo!”

I cringed as I read their old “insults”. They would write homophobic messages across my locker, getting Alix to spray paint a few slurs across my work after I came out as bisexual.

Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma. Then I can blow this town. Dream of ivy-covered walls, no smoky French cafés. Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

I had purposefully sent out applications to universities far away from these people, from Paris. All three schools accepted me, something I can’t say about my classmates, most of whom were rejected for essays on false information (sourced by Lila) and a quick scan over the Ladyblog meant not a single newspaper would even consider my ex-best friend. Gabriel Agreste, as I later found out through my internship in America, had to bribe several schools with double tuition to get even one to accept Adrien, after he got exposed as sexual harasser and disgraced hero “Chat Noir”. I turned back to my diary, having to peel off rock hard gum from the page that someone had smeared in “revenge”.

Le Chiên Kim. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick.

“What did you say to me, skank?” He would yell, his fist raised in the hallway.

“Aah, nothing!” I then cowered. I may be Ladybug, but he was 150lbs of pure rage. No one can compete with that!

But I know, I know... Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, For a better way. We can be beautiful...

“Marinette! Wide load! Honnnnnk!”

He was the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

“Hey! Pick that up! Right now!”

“I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?” He used to snarl, his hands covered in sauce from knocking my tray.

I stood my ground, I had been practising for this moment. “Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on me. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.”

Kim then smirked, crouching down to eye level and pressing a finger to my forehead. “You have a zit right there...” he pointed out, causing the cafeteria to laugh at my expense.

I used to ask myself “Why... Why do they hate me?”

And hear Adrien whisper “Why don't I fight back?”

Watch as Max Googled “Why do I act like such a creep?”

Listen in on Lila stamping her feet in the bathroom asking “Why won't he date me?” Clearly frustrated.

Kim panicking as he wondered “Why did I hit him?”

And Chloé sob down the phone “Why do I cry myself to sleep?”

I would stay up late, screaming, begging. At my lowest points I would cry out “Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me! Send me a sign, God! Give me some hope, here! Something to live for!”

I remember when I first met my real friends. The famed trio had gone into the bathroom and I followed after them, clearly my throat.

“Who are you?”

“Uh... Marinette Dupain Cheng. I crave a boon”

“What boon?” Chloé asked, filing her nails.

“Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. If our class think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...”

Chloé threw her nail file out and began circling around me, running her hands through my hair, commenting that “For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure!” Before coming to a conclusion.

“And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way. Get this girl some blush; and Kagami, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful.” Sabrina and Kagami, chimed in, echoing her words.

“Let's make her beautiful...”

“Let’s make her beautiful...”

“Make her beautiful...Okay?” Chloé ordered, dragging me out with Kagami and Sabrina, driving me to her hotel. They sat me down, taking my hair out of its bunches and brushing it out. Kagami painted my nails a deep navy with surprising precision, manning my cuticles. Sabrina twirled my hair into a high bun, leaving a few pieces at the front to frame my face. Chloé came back from her wardrobe, throwing a blue blazer and grey skirt at me. I changed into my outfit for them, to which they clapped their hands in glee. They dragged me back to school, taking in everyone’s reactions to the new and improved me. This became my new daily outfit for the rest of the year — the class couldn’t find anything bad about it, and even if they did Chloé would threaten them with her father’s power.

I was happy with my squad. Kagami taught us Japanese and Chloé taught us American English that she’d picked up from her mother. I taught them self defence, under the guise of learning it from my mum, unknowingly training them for the day I would rip Chat Noir’s miraculous from him, before slamming it into Kagami’s palm. I needed help that day, so thrust them bee and the fox miraculous at Chloé and Sabrina respectively. They became permanent heroes, Kagami under the name “Noirette”, Chloé under the new guise of “Buttercup” and Sabrina “Renard Rouge”. Akuma attacks have never lasted more than 15 minutes since we got rid of that alley cat, and we’ve been closing in on Hawkmoth recently.

I shook my head, snapping the crude book shut, throwing the diary in the bin. Today was going to be the day I made peace with all that happened, our 10 year school reunion. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna make up with anyone, just that I will finally leave everything behind. I found my lipstick and smeared on the crimson lip, smacking my lips together. I grabbed my clutch and helped Chloé stand up, though she wobbled a little in her heels. I slid her miraculous into her updo, blowing a kiss at her as to not ruin her makeup.

We met up with Kagami and Sabrina in the hallway, Kagami in a wine red suit with gold jewellery, and Sabrina was in emerald green to compliment her red hair. We stepped into the limo awaiting us outside and set off, arriving at the school 10 minutes later. We walked up the steps, hitching up our dresses and arrived in the courtyard. It had been lit up with fairy lights, with stands of food and drinks scattered around the court. Our old classmates were huddled in small groups, whilst Mlle. Mendeleiev’s was in a large group, enjoying each other’s company after 10 years apart.

No one noticed us, until Rose pointed at me and whispered “Who’s that with Chloé?” The group turned to stare at us, trying to place my face. Adrien looked up from talking to Lila, who seemed to be flaunting a rather tacky Gabriel engagement ring, and whispered,

“Marinette?!”

The class began gossiping amongst themselves, “Marinette? Marinette? Marinette?!”

I ignored them, their childish ways were behind me, and walked up to Aurore and Mireille, fawning over their relationship. They turned Kagami, asking her about her life and squealing over her Olympic medal for fencing. I grinned as I watched my old class, happy that they had moved on from each other — well apart from Alya and Adrien, who were still hooked on Lila. I was finally, content! I thought back on my diary, one particular paragraph standing out to me at this time.

And you know, you know, you know, life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels, lookin' like hell on wheels...My God, it's beautiful! I feel so beautiful... And when you're beautiful...It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Chloé boasted my achievements, my business, my awards, and the entire of Mendeleiev’s class started chanting “Marinette! Marinette! Marinette!”, much to my embarrassment. I boasted her’s in return, Sabrina revealed how far she’d come as a lawyer, Kagami swung her prized sword from side to side as she listened to us all catching up, laughing at the memories.

It really was a beautiful day.

#lila salt #adrien salt #class salt #marinette deserves better #alya salt #mlb #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #chloe sugar #kagami tsurugi #sabrina raincomprix #heathers au #beautiful heathers #songfic

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fantasticallyfoolishidea · 4 years

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So, bath scenes. Amirite?

The Witcher fandom is quite blessed. Over the course one season, the showrunners decided to gift us with not one but two scenes of Henry Cavill, naked in a bathtub, two episodes in a ro-

Wait a minute.

Two back-to-back episodes featuring drawn out bath scenes that go on for 2-3 minutes each. That's a lot of time to dedicate to fanservice when you only have 8 episodes to get your point across. Unless, of course… No. They wouldn't. Or would they?

I re-watched these scenes more times than I care to admit. For science. They’re interesting for numerous of reasons (Henry Cavills’ pecs being only two of them). But you know what’s even more interesting? Some sexy, sexy cinematic and narrative parallels and contrasts.

(Obligatory linebreak for your protection. You thought I went overboard analysing Her Sweet Kiss? This is worse. If you’re on mobile – I apologise. Now’s the time to scroll fast. It’ll take longer than you’re expecting, trust me. I’m sorry.)

Bath in “Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials” Bath in “Bottled Appetites” Please excuse the terrible of the second clip. It’s the only one I could find that had the whole scene in it.

First things first,

the setting

The scene in “Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials” takes place in an inn. The room is dark. Throughout the scene you can hear chatter from the bar. Candles are the only visible light source, although, at the beginning of the scene you can see more light coming in through what’s presumably a window outside the shot. Due to the lighting, the majority of the room has a noticeably blue tint, except for the cabinets on each side of the room where most of the candles are placed. Apart from the cabinets, the bathtub Geralt is sitting in is the only area that’s properly illuminated.

The room itself seems big enough, although we only get to see the bathing area which is separated from the rest of the room by blue curtains, but due the way the scene is shot – frequent close ups of the actors, wider shots frequently partially blocked by the curtains – it appears smaller than it actually is. Geralt stands out against the background due to his skin appearing orange in the candle light; in wider shots he usually appears centred.

In contrast, Jaskier moves from one side of the room to the other a lot and doesn’t remain in either light source for long. Unlike Geralt’s skin, the colour of his clothes matches the background. This is somewhat unusual because in many of his scenes Jaskier and his colourful outfits tend to stick out like a sore thumb – the red outfit in “Rare Species” probably the most visually distracting out of the bunch – but in this scene, the exact opposite happens. Whenever Jaskier’s not the focus of the shot he frequently fades into the background or even gets obstructed by the curtains.

(While I’d love to add visual references for every single point I touch upon, honestly, the amount of editing that’d require is astronomical. Jokes on me though, because it already is. Watching the scenes should give you a better idea of what I’m talking about, though. Also, full disclosure, screenshots and gifs had their brightness an colours altered slightly for better visibility.)

Now, on the other hand, we have the room inside the mayor’s house, which – while also dimly lit by candlelight – appears open and spacious. Due to the candles, the room appears tinged only in colours on the orange/yellow spectrum. No curtains to obstruct parts of the shot, and unlike the inn, this room has got visible windows one of which sits behind Geralt. That window in particular lets in a stream of blue light that, in wider shots, often appears to frame either Geralt alone or both, Geralt and Yennefer. However, the blue light remains behind the characters, neither Geralt nor Yennefer are ever directly illuminated by it.

Why is she going on and on about the lighting you might ask? It’s because there’s basically a whole science to colour theory, colour grading, and the ways they’re used in visual media. It’s one of the reasons why, for example, Guillermo del Toro movies are always such goddamn feasts for the eyes. TV Tropes also has a page dedicated to it, if you wanna get a rough idea of what’s going on here.

Both bath scenes in the Witcher (2019) are gorgeous examples of colour grading and set design. You can tell that a whole lot of thought went into it. “Bottled Appetites” even takes it a step further, carrying the orange/blue colour scheme over into the next scene and directly contrasting the bed frame that’s bathed in amber light with the blue windows it’s framed by.

Fun fact, while colour grading can be used to give colours that certain “pop”, you can also achieve the exact opposite effect. See how washed out and grey Jaskier and his blue clothes appear on the orange bedding in this shot? It becomes even more apparent later on in the scene.

He might as well be one of the pillows for the way his clothes make your eyes just kinda slip over him. Honestly, I wanna marry whoever was in charge of doing colour correction on the Witcher. That person is a fucking artist. I’ll get back to the matter of colours and backgrounds in a minute. For now, let’s talk about

body positioning

Or in other words, yet another reason I’d sell my immortal soul to directors Alex Garcia Lopez and Charlotte Brändström.

One thing the scenes have in common (apart from the copious amounts of eye candy) is that Geralt remains mostly stationary at the centre throughout the scene. Jaskier moves around a lot. He dries his hands behind Geralt, moves in front of him to fiddle with the bath salts, sits down next to Geralt, sets Geralt’s mug down on the cabinet behind him and only stops his continuous back and forth motion when the conversation takes a turn for the serious and he settles down in front of Geralt.

Yennefer, on the other hand, starts off at Geralt’s right hand side, slightly to the back of him. She briefly lies down, stands up, and moves to Geralt’s left while taking off her gown. Same as the other scene, Yennefer settles down as the conversation is about to grow more serious. However, unlike Jaskier, Yennefer is far less restless, once she’s moved to Geralt’s left she settled down and doesn’t get up again.

What’s really interesting about this scene is that throughout the entirety of their interaction, Yennefer and Geralt never look at each other at the same time. They both alternate between staring off into the distance with varying degrees of wistfulness and/or melancholia and turning to look at the other. But their eyes never quite meet, not even when Geralt turns around in surprise after Yennefer says she won’t be taking any payment. The conversation ends with Geralt abruptly getting up and out of the tub and Yennefer turning around to watch him leave (dry up? get dressed? who knows what he’s getting up to in that moment). Notably, when the shot focuses on Yennefer alone in the tub, a significant portion of the room that previously appeared mostly orange suddenly is tinted almost all blue.

However, where eye contact is conspicuously absent in the scene in “Bottled Appetites”, it’s a vital component of the scene in “Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials”. Eye contact is a significant part of Geralt and Jaskiers communication. Mainly because Geralt spends a significant amount time sending glares Jaskier’s way with Jaskier paying him varying amounts of mind, even poking fun at his “scary face” when the opportunity presents itself. Jaskier is all over the place in every sense of the word. His attention is divided between Geralt, the bath, the banquet, etc. before it eventually turns back to Geralt and the whole cycle begins anew. The shift in conversation, from the banquet to Geralt, coincides with a shift in Jaskier’s behaviour. He stops moving around the room and his attention settles on Geralt. He then kneels down and holds Geralt’s gaze until Geralt abruptly switches the subject.

Look at the screencaps above. See how, even in a screencap, the lighting is capable of creating an entire visual narrative all by itself? Yennefer and Geralt are sitting in the water together with their backs to each other in a room full of orange light but their immediate surroundings are tinted blue. Jaskier and Geralt are facing each other directly but despite the orange light surrounding him Jaskier appears shadowed as he kneels in front of the tub while Geralt who is sitting inside the tub glows orange against a blue background.

There’s a metaphor hiding somewhere in that juxtaposition but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet.

edit 12/01/20: I actually got a submission from odense who elaborated on the blocking of the scenes from a theatrical perspective. Go read it for even more meta on the bath scenes.

Anyway, moving on. Next on my list is

the matter of service

What, no more Film Studies for Fandom 101, I hear you ask? Well. Originally, I wanted this part to be about the conversation as a whole but that would’ve gone on for too long (ha! too long, she says like that means anything) so I divided it.

Both scenes deal with the performance of service in one way or another. Jaskier is trying to convince Geralt to act as his bodyguard for a night, while Geralt asked Yennefer to break the djinn’s curse and they’re still settling the matter of payment.

In a way, you could look at both scenes as very, very unusual forms of negotiation. Jaskier may spend a lot of time talking about himself but his actions are almost all focused on Geralt. He douses him with water, “rubbed chamomile onto his lovely bottom” at some point (decide for yourself what you wanna make of that statement), prepares the bath salts for Geralt’s bath, and – also at some point – arranged for Geralt’s clothes to be washed. All throughout the scene, he’s performing a variety of services. He’s taking care of Geralt, whether Geralt likes it or not, and does so like it’s the most natural thing in the world, to the point where it just kinda comes across like more of Jaskier’s usual antics and theatrics.

Geralt may claim he needs no one and doesn’t want anyone needing him but there is some form of reciprocity in their relationship – big things like the shared adventures and the ballads about which made both of them famous in their own right, but then there are the little things like drawing your friend a bath, or watching his back at a banquet so he doesn’t get stabbed by a jealous husband, which Geralt eventually agrees to do despite all of his grumbling and glaring protests.

Which is one of the reasons “And yet... here we are.” is such a brilliant line. Just from this context, you could read it in a number of ways. Jaskier could be calling Geralt out on his bullshit like, e.g. “You might not like it, but yeah, you do need me and I need you.” or he could be asking him to make a decision, e.g. “I know you don’t like it but I really do need your help. What will you do?” or it could be an affirmation, e.g. “I know you didn’t want it but somehow we still ended up here.” etc., etc. And you might have guessed, there’s still more to come regarding this line. Later.

So while Jaskier’s scene is about getting Geralt to perform a service, Yennefer’s scene is about figuring out the cost of the service Geralt asked of her in the previous scenes. Where the first bath scene was about persuasion, this one is about payment. The initial negotiation has already happened, the service been rendered, what’s left to do is figure out the price. And Geralt already offered to pay whatever the price.

Since Geralt seems intent on honouring his promise, that creates a bit of a power imbalance between Yennefer and Geralt at the start of the scene because Yennefer could ask for whatever she wanted, Geralt even brings up that he’s worried about “having agreed to indentured servitude”. (That being said, he does not seem too bothered by current the situation or Yennefer’s company. Quite the opposite, he actually seems quite comfortable talking to her.)

Aside from the payment they haven’t agreed on yet, Geralt’s also got a second promise to make good on since he initially offered Yennefer to “indulge her curiosities” (take that however you will). It’s quite apparent that Geralt is a lot more forthcoming with his thoughts and emotions (actually, his words in general) with Yennefer than he is with Jaskier. In Yennefer’s scene, she and Geralt talk about equal amounts whereas in the other scene Jaskier mostly carries the conversation by himself while Geralt reacts.

However, Jaskier also reaches out where Yennefer keeps to herself. She occasionally teasingly bumps her back against Geralt’s as she’s washing herself but other than that she makes an effort to keep out of sight, even magically turning away a mirror to hide herself, whereas Jaskier touches, quite literally gets all up in Geralt’s “scary face” and just generally repeatedly puts himself in Geralt’s line of sight going so far as to kneel down until they’re at eye level.

Despite the matter of coin coming up repeatedly (mostly in the form of harmless teasing about brothels and prostitution, but also on a more serious way when Geralt accuses her of making a profit off the townspeople), Yennefer eventually decides not to ask Geralt for anything in return for saving Jaskier’s life, determining his “company and conversation payment enough”.

Interestingly, in the scene preceding the bath in “Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials” Jaskier also broaches the topic of coin as he’s setting up to ask Geralt for help. In a sense, Jaskier initially attempts to use that thing about reciprocity I brought up earlier to convince Geralt to do him a favour. He lectures Geralt on his role in making him famous and that he should be making money off their arrangement in an attempt to make the favour he’s about to ask off Geralt seem irrelevant in comparison, like “Look at everything I’ve done for you. Please do this tiny little thing for me.” Obviously, that approach doesn’t work. The (un)holy trinity of “food, women and wine, Geralt”, on the other hand, seems to do the trick. Or maybe it’s the bath and a heart-to-heart. Kind of like Geralt’s company and conversation were payment enough for Yennefer?

While we’re still on the matter of conversation, let’s talk about one of the components that make up part of the emotional core of the scenes. Let’s talk about

the matter of past and future

Geralt has lived a long, long life and its history is written on his body in a web of scars. What struck me is how differently the bath scenes deal with those scars.

With Yennefer, the scars are on full display. She notices and scrutinises them as someone seeing Geralt naked for the first time can be expected to. The scars on his shoulders and back are placed front and centre of the shot several times.

In contrast, with Jaskier, you, as a viewer, barely notice the scars. Most of the time they’re simply not visible to the camera. They’re never in the foreground of the shot and you never even get to see Geralt’s back. The scar on Geralt’s shoulder that Yennefer noticed could easily be mistaken for remnants of dead selkiemore. There’s only one moment that draws attention to the scarred shoulder and that’s when Jaskier pats it as he’s getting up to put away Geralt’s mug of ale.

Again, I feel like there’s a metaphor hiding somewhere in there but what do I know?

Back to the point. While Geralt and Yennefer are talking in the bathtub it immediately becomes obvious that they have a connection. They’ve both had unhappy childhoods, lived long lives and as Yennefer points out Geralt was “created by magic. Our magic.” They have an understanding that quickly let’s you forget that they’re virtual strangers at this point in the Witcher canon.

In the other scene, Jaskier and Geralt have known each other for quite a while already, yet the conversation seems to be restricted to superficial topics at first, mainly Jaskier’s prowess as bard and lover. However, Jaskier unwittingly steers the conversation in a more serious direction when he asks Geralt about retirement, what he wants to do when “all this... monster hunting nonsense” is over and done with.

So far, there’s a pattern in the show that when Jaskier talks to Geralt about serious matters, he starts making plans for the future. After the incident with the elves in Posada he promises to work hard to change Geralt’s reputation. In the infamous scene in “Rare Species” he’s trying to figure out what to do with his own future and offers Geralt to go to the coast with him. Here, in this scene, he’s trying to work out what Geralt wants from his future. Even if Geralt claims to want nothing.

At that point, Jaskier’s already made good on his promise to change the public tune about Geralt. The people in the beginning of the episode are talking about the White Wolf, not the Butcher of Blaviken, which makes for such an interesting parallel when paired with Yennefer’s comment about “Our magic”.

Yennefer’s magic created the Witcher; Jaskier’s song created the White Wolf.

Which, in all frankness, would be a good point to end this post but what’s the point of doing anything if you’re not gonna overdo it? I said the matter of past and future makes up part of the emotional core of the bath scenes. So there must be other parts of that supposed emotional core, right? Of course, there’s still

the matter of want and need

While discussing Geralt’s lack of retirement plan, Jaskier and Geralt keep tossing the word “want” back and forth. Jaskier tries to find out what Geralt wants; Geralt rebuffs him, he wants nothing; Jaskier turns it around on him by saying, well, maybe someone will want you. You could, of course, read that as your run-of-the-mill “just wait, the right person will come along (and that person might just so happen to be me – if you’re wearing shipping goggles)” shtick but the thing is, that’s the kind of reply you usually offer someone who’s bemoaning the fact that they’re single, the exact opposite of what Geralt is doing, and Jaskier strikes me as someone who’s emotionally intelligent enough to know that wouldn’t work on Geralt. I think Jaskier might be very literal when he’s saying “Maybe someone out there will want you.” As in, “even if you want nothing, maybe someone who wants you will come along (and that person might just so happen to be me – again, if you’re wearing shipping goggle).” But Geralt changes strategies and rebuffs him again, he needs no one. And the last thing he wants is someone needing him.

What’s interesting about this bit is the body language. I mentioned Jaskier and Geralt communicating a lot via eye contact. And Geralt is looking at Jaskier quite intently right up until Jaskier kneels down in front of him as he’s saying “Maybe someone out there will want you.” The camera cuts to Geralt and he’s looking off to the side while he says “I want no one.” Then, a pronounced pause follows before he turns to look Jaskier directly in the eye as he finishes, “And the last thing I want is someone needing me.” (I really want to say that this looks so much like he’s warning Jaskier to reconsider whatever he’s building up to say. But alas, that’s just fantasy.) The camera cuts away again and we see that Jaskier’s now looking down behind his clasped hands before looking up and answering “And yet... here we are.” Geralt acknowledges his answer with one of his famed “Hm”s. Then, he immediately changes the subject to the whereabouts of his clothes which Jaskier sent away to be washed.

In the other scene, Geralt and Yennefer breach the topic of “want” and “need” while talking about coin. Geralt claims she’s profiting off the political situation, whereas Yennefer claims she’s working in the interest of the people, “filling a need. Ever heard of it?” Which, yes, Geralt has, literally one episode ago, and he pulls a face that’s simply beyond words. (btw, kudos to Henry Cavill for cramming like five different emotions into one expression.)

Geralt and Jaskier had an entire conversation about how Geralt wants nothing and needs nobody. Jaskier even references that conversation when he yells at Geralt while they’re arguing over the djinn. “You always say you want nothing from life, so how was I supposed to know you wanted three wishes all to yourself!” he screams.

(Also, upon rewatching that scene, I literally just realised that Jaskier was drinking at the beginning of the scene. Combine that with the fact that he repeatedly brings up the Countess de Stael, and flat out states he’s currently heartbroken, and yeah, that explains a lot about his comparatively sour mood and short temper; also, why his speech comes across as much more chaotic than usual. Seriously, compare it to the way he speaks to Geralt after he’s gutted the selkiemore. He talks a lot in both – ok, Jaskier always does – but in the selkiemore scene, or basically any scene that isn’t the djinn scene, his diction is eloquent, artistic, florid; in the djinn scene, it’s all over the place, repetitive, and often bordering on the nonsensical. Frankly, you could probably make a whole post about that scene by itself. I’ll get back to that some other day.)

(Also, am I implying that Jaskier seems bitter over the fact that Geralt apparently keeps telling him he wants nothin from life? ...Yesn’t. Hard to pretend I’m not wearing shipping goggles when I’m literally almost 4000 words deep into a meta post. But remember, nothing but speculation!)

Anyway, and now there’s Yennefer broaching the subject, asking him if he’s ever heard of “filling a need”.

The conversation carries on until Geralt is blindsided by Yennefer telling him that his company and conversation are payment enough. He whirls around but Yennefer isn’t looking at him so he hurriedly gets out of the bath. In the next scene, he emerges with a new set of clothes he doesn’t like, which his companion from the previous scene procured for him. Now why does that feel familiar?

In conclusion...

honestly, I don’t even know where I was going with this originally. This started off as a joke but then things inevitably escalated and now I’m really tired and I wanna go to sleep. (Also, the whole djinn thing is giving me feels now which kinda puts a dampener on the humour in the episode. Jaskier’d already been having a bad day and things just. Keep. Getting. Worse. Ugh, my heart.) But I feel like this post needs a proper conclusion.

I feel like, in the context of these scenes Jaskier and Yennefer could be seen as foils to each other? They’re two of the few people Geralt lets close, very close, actually, since getting naked in front of someone is frequently equated with showing vulnerability to someone. In a lot of ways, Jaskier and Yennefer’s roles work in ways that are the exact opposite of that of the other. Jaskier tries to be seen where Yennefer wants to remain hidden, yet Jaskier gets obscured by the environment while Yennefer is exposed. Jaskier is asking Geralt for a favour, Yennefer did Geralt a favour; Jaskier insists on taking care of Geralt where Yennefer gives him space. Yennefer sees Geralt’s past, Jaskier his future. Jaskier touches the scar but doesn’t look, Yennefer looks but doesn’t touch. But both find a way to scratch at the emotional walls that Geralt’s put up and both times Geralt reacts by immediately trying to escape the situation. Both times, he ends up wearing clothes he doesn’t like in the following scene.

Speaking about nudity and emotional vulnerability, maybe that’s kind of part of the conclusion as well? Sorta? Especially, since Geralt seems to start looking for his clothes or for a way out of the tub the moment someone gets too close. Furthermore, afterwards, he never seems comfortable in the clothes he’s been given, which you could read as a metaphor of sorts, I guess? Like something inside Geralt getting knocked loose in the conversation with his companion and Geralt consequently having to arrange himself with an uncomfortable truth in the aftermath? Does that make sense? Have we finally reached the point where I’m getting too cerebral? Or did we sail past that point like 4000 words ago? God, my brain hurts.

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #geralt x yennefer #gerlion #fantastically foolish literary analysis #this might take the crown as dumbest idea i ever saw through #i have written college essays shorter than this #how do people 'enjoy' things casually?#i mean #if you haven't written at least half a thesis' worth of meta about a show #can you honestly say you've watched it?#somebody commented 'op your galaxy brain' on that post about Her Sweet Kiss #i've been trying to see how much further i can push it ever since #this is it #this is as far as my brain'll take me #now it's fried #just waiting to see how long it'll take for someone to go #'welp'#'looks like she's finally gone off her rocker'#'nothing we can do now'#god i miss livejournal #tumblr really isn't cut out for posts of this length #this might be the longest post i've ever written #i just realised that the fact that i can honestly say 'might be' is kind of concerning

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