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#sometimes your faves are just terrible people
asleepinawell · 2 years
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since I've gotten an influx of ffxiv followers lately I just wanted to once again recommend the machineries of empire series by yoon ha lee
if depressed, nuanced, and weirdly compelling war criminals are your thing then this series is for you. everyone in the series needs a hug and a copy of the geneva convention. 10/10
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bat-the-misfit · 11 months
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my dream is to be best friends with someone whose favorite character is the brother of MY favorite character
#NIMBUS STANS CADÊ VOCÊÊÊS#BROTA AQUI VAMO VIRAR AMIGUES#who are Do Contra stans without Nimbus stans? if they're brothers we should stick together as if we were siblings as well#we can complain about how little they appear in the comics together#we can also complain about how their supposed actors are taking so fucking long to admit they're going to play them :D#come on admit it most people had a crush on Nimbus growing up just admit you stan him#my son Do Contra is questionable but Nimbus' a good boy#he is nice with everyone he's pretty he's the responsible older brother and he does magic 🐇🎩#my son's the weird brother but that's why i prefer him lol#WE CAN ALSO CALL THEM MAURO AND MAURÍCIO WITHOUT PEOPLE THINKING WE ARE WEIRD OMG#“Bat are you ignoring the fact you just accused your fave chara of being questionable and weird while saying his brother is an angel?”#i'm not ignoring i just have adhd lol#MY SON BREAKS THE SYSTEM HE BREAKS SOCIETY'S EXPECTATIONS#HE BREAKS GENDER ROLES HE BREAKS RACIAL STEREOTYPES#HE IS INDIVIDUALISTIC HE IS INVENTIVE HE DOES THINGS IN HIS OWN RYTHM#MY SON MY BABY MY BELOVED HE IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS#HE ANNOYS HIS BROTHER TOO WHICH I RESPECT A LOT#HE IS A GREAT BOYFRIEND HE IS A GREAT FRIEND HE IS A TERRIBLE BROTHER#I BET HE'S A TERRIBLE SON TOO BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO ONLY COMPLIMENT HIM HERE#HE DOES THINGS NOT ONLY OUTSIDE THE BOX SOMETIMES HE IS THE BOX SOMETIMES HE BREAKS THE BOX#BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY HE IS ALWAYS ×AGAINST× AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT#“ok Bat you can shut up now” DO CONTRA MY BELOVED#MAURÍCIO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE OWNER OF MY HEART#my future boyfriend: *cries in the background*#ok i'm gonna stop i just feel more hyperactive today bc i'm anxious#i mean i'm always hyperactive but that's not the point#“BAT GO AWAY” OK I'M GOING
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regicidal-optimism · 16 days
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You've been reblogging more stuff about female characters getting ignored by fandoms recently and I would be really curious to hear your full views on the topic.
The thing is that... look. I get it. Many fandoms do not have very many women in their canon, many of those women are treated pretty poorly by the canon or aren't given as much depth as their male peers, and if you're at all picky the pickings are kind of slim (I would love to be a fan of c!Niki, if I were able to watch six-hour vods, which I am not). It is not wrong that most works with large fandoms are really, really sexist, and the problem is not just in the fanbase!
But come the fuck on. It is not an accident that the DSMP and the MCU and BNHA, all of which are vast-majority male and the female characters are treated terribly, are megafandoms, and Revolutionary Girl Utena is eligible for yuletide. It is not wrong that if you want to see more female-character-focused fanwork you should go to Sailor Moon and not The Untamed, but it is also kind of missing the point to say that and not look at the difference in size between those fandoms. People can say "it's because the male characters are so often more interesting and have more meaningful interactions," and like, sometimes that's even true, I will be the first to tell you that quackbur has more to it than tinarose, but please compare the Clint/Coulson tag to the Utena/Anthy tag and look me in the eye and tell me that's the only thing driving the trend. With a straight face.
And even more there's a thing where— so, I was a mod in the @ao3topshipsbracket bracket. And femslash ships, once they were in the bracket, did really well. Like, absurdly well, like 80% of the f/f ships entered got to the top 16, and the last one was against blackbonnet which was never gonna lose in round 1. You might notice something about that number, though, which is that there were only five of them entered total, because people love to vote for femslash but they absolutely will not write it. And they won't say anything about it either! I was watching the activity feed the entire tournament, and I can tell you, for all of the "let's go lesbians" that populated our notes, nobody would say anything that was actually about the specific characters who made up their ship. I learned a lot about Naruto fandom, modding that bracket; I still know nothing about CW Supergirl, because the only thing anyone would say about it is "it has women in it". Because women are interchangeable. Because women are avatars of Being A Good Feminist. Because clicking a button is easy, and actually thinking about any specific woman and her traits and her internality is hard.
The thing is that guilt over misogyny does not actually fix misogyny. It gets you a lot of people who vote for women in polls, and who say "he's like a woman to me" about their male faves but notably don't have any canonically female characters they talk about, and who say that the only thing they care about in a fic is if it has women in it but will not ever actually say anything about any specific woman, and who never shut up about yuri but apparently yuri is everything and anything except women who have feelings about one another.
I'm tired! I'm very tired. I want people to actually give a shit about specific women and their specific traits, which do not begin and end with "woman". And, also, to stop treating women exclusively as the wingmen, advice-givers, mom figures, and accessories of men.
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natchla · 3 months
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My Favorite BL Dramas of 2023
happy new year to everyone who uses the gregorian calendar. we had so much good content come out this year. i'm gonna list my favs. please remember these are my personal faves and may be objectively terrible. do not be alarmed.
My Beautiful Man S2 and Movie
If you ask me this series is one of the best bls of all time. idc idc. im a hira and kiyoi girlie through and through. how many bl's do you know with 2 seasons and an original movie. not those repackaged ones that they try to hand feed us. an actual movie with a plot???? the bar is on the floor clearly. but hira and kiyoi are gonna surpass that bar every. single. time.
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Love Tractor
I didn't hear enough people screaming about Love Tractor. crickets tbh. Which is blasphemous in my opinion. How could you be quiet when this lovely bumbling himbo with the dopiest grin is on your screen? look at him!!
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Eighth Sense
10's across the board. No question. No notes.
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this scene^ BROKE me
Our Dining Table
Ok hear me out. I didn't think this was the best bl in the world BUT it was so wholesome that it deserves a spot. top tier comfort show. It got me through many bad days. Admittedly, there were a few times I purposely put it on bc i knew it would put me to sleep. please don't jump me.
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Unintentional Love Story
Now...I'm not a huge kbl person. However, this was really nice. Had a solid plot. I don't remember much abt it but I know there was pottery and I had a good time
Only Friends
This was culture. This was a movement. I will never forgive them for how they treated Boston. Even still, I was there every week ready for the chaos. I had the time of my life.
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Bed Friend
It's hard to believe this came out this year. Like ??? But really that shows how much I've established this show as a classic in my mind. BED FRIEND? UEA? baddest bitch in the land?? KING? greenest flag out there???? (debatable but for the sake of my argument lets pretend). It had every element. good plot, great visuals, a little heat. like come on who else is doing it like them?
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i just know if me and uea were ever in the same room he would judge me so much
Dangerous Romance
I've seen mixed reviews on this one but I had a fun time. Kanghan is a prissy little spoiled brat, but he's my prissy little spoiled brat. I loved their story progression. Which is saying a lot for me bc I don't like enemies to lovers. like why are we fighting? also "i'm an introvert" is the funniest shit i've heard all year.
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La Pluie
this was so shockingly good i wish it got more attention. iqiyi in general really did their big one this year. when it rains you can only hear your soulmate? love!
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Laws of Attraction
this was a rollercoaster. i started watching ironically because i thought it would be terrible when i saw the mc go super saiyan. that shit is still hilarious idc.
Love Syndrome III
Now before we start throwing tomatoes...let's hear me out. Nothing has caught my attention this year the way this series did. This was another series I was watching ironically until suddenly i wasn't. It's also just so funny that they released the third one without dropping a first or second. but bad bitches don't need to explain themselves. and YES love syndrome is a bad bitch. let's stop acting like we watch bl's solely for the quality. i don't need marvel cgi to have a good time. sometimes a dollar store wig and the most toxic couple you've ever seen is enough to make some shit shake. if this was released during the tharntype era??? oh bitches would've ate it up. HAPPILY. rant over.
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Last Twilight
it's good man. what more can i say? i hope it doesn't disappoint me in the end.
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Pit Babe
i'm very pleased. very much so. i know alot of folks went into this show expecting a little teehee. to laugh at the omegaverse racecar show. NOT ME. i've waited for this moment. and anyone who's seen me screaming in the tag can attest. this is a game changer. not just for bl but the fandom community at large. and don't even get me started on their chemistry. babe's smile whenever he's around charlie?? mama and papa?? MAMA AND FUCKING PAPA?? we deserve this and i will bask in it for as long as I can. jeff had better be pregnant by the end of the show.
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^ that’s his charlie smile 🥲
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roseharpermaxwell · 3 months
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RWRB FirstPrince Roommates & Neighbors Recs
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All the oblivious pining, cuddly bedsharing and forehead kisses your heart can handle. Click below for my faves!
thigh'm in love with you by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries. E, 1.8k. Henry has a date.
Alex knows, because for the last four months, his roommate’s choice in soundtrack as he primped and preened before a date has been extremely consistent, and there’s no way Good as Hell, All About That Bass, and Dancing Queen playing consecutively is a coincidence tonight.
too worried to be sleeping by viciouslyqueer. G, 2.7k. Just as he’s getting ready for bed, Alex hears something in the apartment next to his – it sounds like glass shattering on the floor. Then, the voice of a man, choked up, like he’s been crying.
He sighs heavily and clambers out of his bed, shoving his feet into his slippers and opening the door to his bedroom.
and i don’t get much sleep most nights (i’m seeing you in every dream) by @autiespring. T, 2.9k. “Alex Claremont-Diaz can’t sleep.
The thing is, insomnia isn’t new. He’s been like this all his life.
The ADHD diagnosis is newer.”
two nights where alex and henry can’t sleep and one where they can (a love letter to neurodivergence)
all's well that ends well to end up with you by karish. T, 3k. “Fuck, thank you, you’re a lifesaver, Hen,” he says as he closes the small distance between them and places a faint kiss on Henry’s lips.
His lips are soft and Alex melts into it for a second before pulling away. He bumps their noses together for good measure before stepping back and grabbing his bag from the chair. When he turns back to look at Henry, he’s still standing still, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. Alex can even see a dark flush starting to spread over his face. It looks cute. Alex wishes he could–
Oh.
Oh shit.
Fucking goddamn shit.
He just kissed Henry. Fuck.
So, Kiss Me by onesmoluke. M, 3k. Just a wholesome getting together fic
Alex is a poli-sci major and he's been in love with his roommate Henry for years. Things finally come to a head when Henry makes a slightly ridiculous request.
From the prompt: "Could you kiss me? I need it for writing purposes."
the conclusion literally any normal human being would come to. by @chaa-kiao. M, 3.2k. My [21M] flatmate [20M] gives me forehead kisses when he thinks I'm asleep. How do I ask him to do it when I'm awake, too?
Henry and Alex are roommates quarantined together. Henry takes to Reddit when Alex's behavior gets too confusing for him to sort out on his own. Surely this will have zero impact on their completely platonic relationship, right? 
kiss me like you've got nowhere to be by @anincompletelist. M, 3.2k. In the three years they’ve lived together, he thinks it’s safe to say that he and Alex have gotten… close. The kind of close that other people like to point out sometimes when they’re in public, and not just their overinvolved older sisters and overly suggestive friends. A few of Alex’s colleagues have made comments when Henry shows up at the holiday parties or after a stressful work day to make sure Alex is eating and staying hydrated, just the same as Henry’s clients each know little bits of odd Alex-facts that he lets slip sometimes in his sessions.
Regardless, it’s all terribly domestic, and the twinge of satisfaction Henry gets when Alex’s dates don’t go well is most definitely not appropriate, even if they are kind of in a weird, probably mostly platonic, very codependent relationship. If he’s not careful, Henry’s going to get himself so, so hurt one of these days.
Mambo de la luna by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 3.4k. Fuck. God, this is so bad. It would be so much better if he just wanted Henry for the way he moves his hips and the fact that he has the flexibility of a double-jointed yoga instructor, but instead he just wants to��� hold him??? Sure, fucking him would be a nice bonus, but the one thing he wants more than anything else is to be following Henry into that room and curling around him before they fall asleep.
Henry is a stripper, Alex is his roommate. The stripping part isn't the problem.
sacred new beginnings by Standinginmoonlight. NR, 3.4k. Alex Claremont-Diaz doesn’t get sick.
Or: Alex Claremont-Diaz gets sick and Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor looks after him.
only bought this dress (so you could take it off) by @coffeecatsme. E, 3.8k. “Take off your pants, show me your dick, and you’ll see. I’ll pleasantly admire it from afar, I can even offer a few compliments about the size if you want a boost to your ego—”
“I don’t need—”
“But,” Alex presses before Henry can continue, “I’m not going to touch you because, as I made it incredibly clear, I’m not gay. So.” He waves his hands in a gesture that he hopes conveys, go on. “Take off your pants.”
Or, Alex realizes some things about himself. Henry helps.
every constellation hiding in the sky of your body by coffeecatsme. T, 3.9k. He's straight. Alex is pretty sure he’s straight. Yet sometimes he catches Henry move around the room with just a towel wrapped around his waist, he glances over to find waves of blond fallen over his forehead, he meets those blue eyes and the shy smile Henry only saves for Alex and wonders.
Or, the one in which Alex is drunk and has a lot less impulse control when it comes to Henry.
In my dreams (In your dreams) by @lizzie-bennetdarcy. E, 3.9k. He opens his mouth to tell Alex it's fine, they can stay, when Alex shakes his head. "The room is spinning. That's not fun. Alright, sweetheart, let's go home." He jumps up from the stool, and immediately lists sideways into Henry. "What will it take to get you to carry me home?"
"More than you're prepared to give, I'm afraid." Kiss me, marry me, have my children, please.
Alex is very drunk, and very affectionate, and it's becoming increasingly difficult for Henry to pretend like he isn't completely in love with him.
Play Me a Song by @three-drink-amy. G, 4.1k. Every night, like clockwork, Alex's upstairs neighbor plays the piano for two hours, giving Alex the motivation to sit and do his own work so that he can listen. One night, he leaves a letter for his neighbor to thank him for the music. When his neighbor comes to his door to thank him for the note, he finds it's the same cute guy he's been running into in the lobby.
blackout by rizcriz. T, 4.3k. When the power goes out, Alex and Henry are sitting in their living room watching the latest fantasy show to hit Netflix. Alex has his feet in Henry’s lap, and his head pressed up against the side of the couch. One of Henry’s hands is burning a hole through the thin spread of Alex’s pajama pants where it’s resting on his shin. Everything goes out like a flash of lightning, but it takes a moment for it to really register that they’re left lying in the dark.
When it does, Alex sits up, the backs of his calves pressing into the firm weight of Henry’s thighs. He tries not to think about that, though, even as Henry’s hand tightens around his calf. The moon’s shining through the window, so it’s not like they’re blanketed in total darkness, but when Alex looks at Henry, and Henry looks at Alex, the shadows drifting over his face, it feels as if all the light has been sucked out of the world entirely.
Or, Alex and Henry have a conversation by candlelight.
your name has echoed through my mind (i just think you should know) by vibrantsaturn. T, 4.6k. Still in a frenzy, Alex grabs the thermos. Says, "thank you, baby. Fuck, I love you." He raises himself on his tip toes and presses a quick kiss on Henry's lips with a hand on the back of his neck and bolts with Pez in tow. Just before the door closes, he sees Henry standing there stunned, his fingers on his lips.
They take a few steps until Alex just. Stops. "Pez, did I just-"
"Tell Henry you love him? Kiss Henry without realising what you were doing? Yes," Pez says in a daze and Alex curses. Fuck, how is he going to face Henry now?
Alex realises he's in love with Henry after playing Fuck, Marry, Kill and he does not know how to deal with it.
It Was Never Home Until You Were There by earth_to_alex16. T, 5.1k. Henry and Alex are roommates that share a bed - Henry during the day and Alex at night.
How can a connection form when they've never met?
Or, The Flatshare AU that no one asked for.
Always Where I Need To Be by @cha-melodius. T, 5.4k. Alex doesn’t even know how he does it most of the time. He’ll take his glasses off for five minutes while he’s working to rest his eyes, and somehow David will snag them off the coffee table and run off with them. He doesn’t chew them, thank god, but the slobber is bad enough. Plus, there’s the fact that Alex has to go on a search to find whatever random place he’s managed to hide them.
Except… the places the glasses end up don’t seem to be exactly random.
(Alex's new roommate has a puppy with a penchant for theft—and, seemingly, strong opinions on where Alex needs to be.)
No Sense or Sensibility by @inexplicablymine. T, 5.5k. “When and where was your first kiss.”
Oh shit.
The thing is… Alex actually has an answer to this one, it’s just a matter of admitting that it happened.
Kennedy’s. 7pm, Pub Quiz and Ice Cream. Every Monday ‘til death due us part. Alex liked his little routine, until Derryl got it in his head to host The goddamn Newlywed Game instead.
Don’t Wanna Be A Fool For You by @myheartalivewrites. E, 6.2k. Henry had always known it would come to this, in the end. That his ridiculous, unrequited, life-destroying love for Alex would always break his heart. He’d chosen to indulge it, because, if he’s being honest with himself, pulling away from Alex at any stage in their friendship would have broken him. He could have brought it forward or put if off, but the end result had always been inevitable. So he’d chosen to delay it, for as long as possible.
Not So Silent Night by @inexplicablymine. T, 6.1k. Sure, Alex can admit in the deepest recesses of his mind, at two in the morning, when the Liszt is playing forlornly like some kind of bugle call for grief, that whoever the fuck lives next to him is on another level with the keys.
Or
Alex has no idea who his piano playing neighbor is, but Alex knows one thing for certain… This means war.
But he’s always had an extraction plan in place for when it became too hard. A fake family emergency. Some last minute thing calling him to England, the details unimportant. A quickly packed suitcase and a note stuck to the fridge. He has a credit card and his passport lives in the top drawer of his bedside table, where he can get to it easily. He has an open invitation to stay at Pez’s place, or Bea’s.
Henry had always known the day would come.
Henry and Alex are roommates, Henry is in love and Alex is oblivious. And then, ONE DAY…
Dreams that Keep Me Up in the Dead of Night by earth_to_alex16. T, 6.3k. Alex gets a little too honest when he's tired.
Oxford Days by myheartalive. E, 6.3k. "Alex’s new roommate is kind of a slut.
No. Strike that. Not kind of. Definitely. Definitely a slut."
An ode to slutty Henry.
Hide and Sneak by clottedcreamfudge. E, 6.7k. Henry shouldn't be here; 'here' meaning the flat he shares with his friend and unrequited crush, Alex, who is irreversibly straight and likes to walk around in his boxers like some kind of sexy torture device.
Alex, unlike Henry, is meant to be here, and here is where he is.
On their sofa in the living room.
Jerking off.
Can be summed up by the line, "If we don't touch each other, it's probably not gay."
It's a (Birth)date by Celaestis. T, 6.9k. 5 times Henry is oblivious that they're dating and 1 time he isn't.
like coming home by Standinginmoonlight. M, 7.3k. Although he doesn’t know it yet, Alex is screwed from the second Henry signs off his email with ‘best wishes’ like a Dickens character.
Or: the one where Alex Claremont-Diaz has been in love with Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor all along.
craigslist cutie (please don't go) by matherine. M, 7.7k. Here’s the thing. Alex is simultaneously very, very smart and very, very stupid. Nora calls it the Claremont-Diaz Paradox, and every time she does, June sticks out her tongue like she’s about twelve years old, and then Nora makes a comment about what she would rather June be doing with her tongue, and – okay. Off track. Not relevant to Alex’s current predicament, which is perhaps the most damning example of the Claremont-Diaz Paradox. Alex got himself into NYU Law with flying colors and LSAT scores in the 99th percentile, worked his ass off for three years, and graduated with honors and a crippling caffeine addiction. And then, because he is an idiot, he decided to take his JD, his potential, and his mountain of student loans to his brand-new job as a public defender.
Unfortunately, being a public defender pays about as much as working at a Hot Topic. Which means that Alex really needs a roommate. Like, pronto. STAT. ASAP. He’s not sure who’s desperate enough to move into the other room in his beautiful, probably-not-bedbug-infested 700 square feet of Hell’s Kitchen, but he really fucking needs to find somebody.
Craigslist is a last resort, but it does bring him Henry. 
am i homophobic? (URGENT) (PLEASE HELP) by holdinggrudges. E, 7.9k. Now, it might be pretty early in the morning and Alex’s brain functions might not be working as quickly as they normally do, but he can still put two and two together. There's a strange man in their kitchen. Henry is shirtless, rumpled, and holding two pairs of boxers. Henry and this Sam guy slept together. Which… obviously is fine because Alex is not an asshole, but he’s definitely feeling something about this development that he will examine at a later date. But of course, instead of saying something normal, you know, like a normal person would, he says, “Ohh.” Like a fucking weirdo.
or: the "am i homophobic?" roommate au that no one asked for
The Kids Are Alright by earth_to_alex16. T, 8.3k. Renovations at the LGBTQ shelter bring Henry's work into his flat with his roommate Alex.
Henry is good at his job and deeply in love with Alex.
Can he multitask?
like I do by @smc-27. E, 8.5k. They live together and work together and Henry cannot go more than a few hours without seeing Alex, and it should be a problem but it isn’t. Henry likes Alex, and when he puts it like that, he hears the part of his brain responsible for his rooting in reality begin to laugh. Hard. Like is certainly not the thing Henry feels. He’s ignoring it.
(He’s failing, but there’s an attempt.)
Obliviously Devoted by @uglygreenjacket. T, 9.3k. She looks at him in the way only June can. She's the only one he'll allow it from without a fight. "I don't know if you're ready to have this conversation or not."
His fork clatters to the plate in front of him. "What is that supposed to mean?"
June sighs a sigh of long-suffering and pinches the bridge of her nose, before she looks him dead in the eye and sets his world upside down. "You know you and Henry are dating, right?"
Alex gapes at her. Mouth hung open, eyes blown wide. "W-what?"
"I say this with all the love in the world," she says. "But sometimes, I swear, you are the most oblivious idiot on the face of the planet."
Am I the Asshole? By @everwitch-magiks. E, 9.5k. AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend?
It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral.
In which Alex and Henry are college roommates, and a few thousand strangers think they should fuck.
Baby, it's Cold Inside by Celaestis. E, 9.8k. When winter officially arrives on November seventh, it’s with a bang. Actually, the bang is due to the building’s ancient heating system failing in spectacular fashion. It coincides nicely with a cold front moving down from Nova Scotia which means New Yorkers of all stripes are suddenly getting their winter coats and hats out earlier than anticipated. It’s not usually a problem. But then their building usually has heat.
red lights (they burn us out like kerosene) by vibrantsaturn. T, 10k. "We could go anywhere," Alex says and he's not sure why he's whispering. All he knows is that this moment is going to monumental in their lives.
"Anywhere?" Henry asks, his voice low, and there's a trace of wonder in his voice.
"Anywhere," Alex confirms, a soft smile on his face. 
It's Getting Hot in Here (So Hot!) by Celaestis. E, 10k. Henry’s firm and unwavering belief in Alex’s hetrosexuality does wonders for their relationship. He can coexist with Alex in the same lobby for entire half-minutes at a time while checking for post, he can make solid eye contact during glances in the hallway. Alex is still the most beautiful man he’s ever beheld, and maybe Henry’s hook-ups are tending towards the Latino types more than they ever did in the UK, but still. Alex is straight. Henry is fine about it. Really.
or,
3 times when Alex takes Henry on a drive to get him out of his head over the years, and the one time Henry does.
you turned a moment (into forever) by viciouslyqueer. M, 10k. Sharing an apartment with Alex had seemed like a good idea at first. They’re best friends, prices in Brooklyn are absurd, and they had both been in urgent need of residence – it only made sense.
Except for the small, tiny, teeny, barely there fact that Henry has been in love with Alex from the first moment he laid eyes on him. And the fact that Alex doesn’t know, and can never find out.
Or, as coffeecatsme so eloquently put it: Roommates AU where Alex has insomnia and slips into Henry’s bed every night because it’s the only way he gets a good night’s sleep.
How to say 'no' to Alex Claremont Diaz (is a book Henry definitely could not write) by TwinMoonSun842. T, 10k. What do you do when you are very gay and your best friend/roommate/secret crush Alex Claremont Diaz asks you to help him out by letting him put a few hickeys on your neck? What happens when you like that a little too much? How do you go back to denying that you're pining for him when know what his lips feel like on your skin?
These are questions Henry would very much like the answer to.
take me out, and take me home by weather_stained. T, 11k. They’ve only been living together for two months, since Alex moved to the city for law school. Henry's Brooklyn apartment was a short commute to NYU, and the price was unbeatable, so he agreed to move in without even meeting the man in person. He was nervous, at first, to share close quarters with a stranger, but it’s worked out shockingly well; Henry is kind and considerate, and they mostly leave each other alone.
He’s also quite obviously gorgeous, and Alex doesn’t know why there isn’t a string of men coming and going from Henry’s room at all times, or perhaps one steady man. Inexplicably, Henry seems to have been single since Alex moved in in August. 
AKA:
5 times Alex doesn't realize Henry's in love with him, and 1 time he gets a clue.
Lay Me Down in Sheets of Linen by He_is_half_my_soul. E, 14k. Alex may hate Henry's guts but when he gets thrown out of his apartment in the middle of fucking winter and with no warning at all he offers to room with him until he finds another place to stay. He is not a total monster.
Pour Your (He)art Out by @athousandrooms. E, 17k. Sometimes, after particularly rough nights, Henry will switch his first Earl Grey of the day for a latte. Alex learns this a month into knowing him. That’s not the only shock of the discovery, though.
“Oh my god, how are you real? Who does casual latte art for themselves on a weekday? Before you had coffee?”
Apparently Henry used to be a barista. Alex pokes at him, tells him it looks easy.
Henry raises his eyebrows, mouth curved at the corners like it’s guarding a looming laugh. “Would you like to try?”
A challenge. Alex loves those.
Or, five times Alex makes questionable latte art for Henry, and one time they make it right together.
just a figure of speech by @congee4lunch. E, 17k. henry, an omega, hasn’t had good sex in a long time. as his alpha roommate and friend, alex can help with that. in a totally platonic bro way, of course.
Five-Drink Henry by @whimsymanaged. E, 18k. Henry’s mouth opens then closes. He can feel a flush creeping over his cheeks, but he does his best to ignore it and hopes Alex will too. “Oh. Hello. Sorry, I’m—hi. Thanks for inviting me.”
Alex’s smile only grows, and he steps back to let Henry in. “You’re the first one here. Lucky me. Come on, I’m getting some margaritas going.”
Or, Henry’s new neighbour is a party-throwing, margarita-making menace, and Henry’s helpless against his charms.
What If (We Were Roommates) by Krissielee. M, 35k. "HOUSE/PET SITTER WANTED"
Alex never expected this when he replied to that ad.
(Alternative summary: Oh my GOD they were roommates)
Speak for Yourself by @welcometololaland. E, 106k. Alex could have walked out of the Williamsburg apartment at any time. Instead, he decides to sign up to twelve months of Henry.
OR
Alex makes a rash decision and Henry inexplicably runs with it.
(The "accidental housemates" AU that literally no-one asked for).
(Art by @stardisnight - chapters 7 and 12)
I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!
Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs
Master List of Recommendations
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thirdtidemouse · 3 months
Text
hilda characters in taskmaster, if this means anything to anyone:
for context, taskmaster is a show hosted by greg davies and pathetic assistant (/creator) alex horne. each series five comedians are made to do pointless and difficult tasks and are awarded points. it ends up being very very funny and very amicably argumentative.
for now, i'll do my classic 5 faves, but i would love to do more like edmund + some ocs!
hilda - starting with the kids, likely winner. i mean she is the main character, but she has those problem-solving skills and unbeatable enthusiastic spirit (which would definitely take a beating in this godawful game). i considered how different the competition might be given that they're kids? but lenny rush recently competed at 14 and he did awesome. hilda would definitely stand up for herself if she thought her score or the task was unfair but she is a good sport all round. most likely to miss the huge hidden-in-plain-sight clues. here to have fun but not fuck around. all the cheerful demeanor of rob beckett. likes to very gently make fun of alex. would never ever give up.
"what you can't take away from me is that i had an absolutely lovely day."
"people say my ADHD means i have shit problem solving skills. no sir!"
frida - nerdiness to rival josh widdicombe. knows the taskmaster's tricks and snoops all around for clues/hidden solutions. genuine competence and competitiveness of someone like sarah kendall, as indignant and argumentative as ed gamble. the one time she doesn't find the hidden alternative answer is when the main pathway is just 'do a really long maths sum to get the code for the lock' and she just gets on with it because she can. tries not to act overly proud of herself but after a particular stressful win she definitely gets up and cheers. argues with other contestants. gets very annoyed by alex and sometimes tells him to shut up.
"the only way i get out of this with any dignity is if i die right now."
[to a small plush vole] "you've got no chutzpah! your organizational skills are lacklustre, and your timekeeping is abysmal."
david - the awkward swagger of james acaster but absolutely 0 of his winning spirit. definitely a fan-favourite pathetic contestant. the show would wear his psyche down so much he would snap and end up begging for points in a total breakdown à la joe wilkinson. gets genuinely cocky after a rare win. gets very stressed out by alex and is very scared of greg. like mae martin, is initially very nonchalant about the tasks, but can become freaked out quickly. not very good at getting points. ashamed of his failures and overjoyed with his successes. most likely to be given a humiliating solo task.
"please don't take it away from me."
"well well well! looks like last in P.E., first in being a legend!"
johanna - total sweetheart, smiling all the time even when she fucks up and loses, much like charlotte ritchie. although she does fuck up and lose considerably less. less nervous though, here to have fun AND fuck around. a sally phillips approach to tasks, meaning chill as fuck, inconspicuously normal contestant, that consistently produces either the most terribly planned OR the most creatively out of pocket and deranged 'solutions', of which back in the studio she has zero explanation for and can only laugh uncontrollably as if it wasn't entirely her idea. this will inevitably win her a lot of points but she will fall short on something like charlotte ritchie's first prize task, in which she brings in all of her bedding, is told 'you can't just pick up stuff from around your house,' and is given last place. this also makes her place her head in her hands and giggle. her attitude carries charlotte's consistent likeness to a children's tv show host. zaniness and well-spoken ramblings of mike wozniak.
"when you have no other ideas, you stick to your bad idea."
"i was excited, there was fire, i'd been told to undermine a vole and i let him have it."
kaisa - will not embarrass herself for love nor money. could not give a fuck about any of you people and simultaneously is incredibly determined to win. would get increasingly distraught with the incompetence of any teammates in an ed gamble outburst. despite this, is a cooperative and hardworking teammate. would spend long periods of time in silent thought before carrying out her plan with no explanation along the way. like james acaster, does not ever say hello to alex, just because she 'doesn't have to.' generally does not like alex. to quote jamali maddix, 'he's a punk. i don't like him.' acts like a rebellious teen in the presence of greg. i have no solid outfit headcanons right now but she would wear what bridget christie wore:
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"i've got three sensitivity levels! and i'll be honest, i'm on my top fucking one right now!"
"i knew we were against the clock, and i didn't give a fuck" 
and here is my final test of character - one of the most simple and most telling tasks, from the very first episode:
"eat as much of this watermelon as you can in one minute."
hilda - romesh ranganathan. upon entry of the lab, she wields the watermelon above her head and smashes it into the floor, devouring as much of it as she can. total tunnel vision. she throws up a little at the end. wins the task.
frida - josh widdicombe. enters prepared with a knife, manages to hurriedly cut and eat a portion of the watermelon, with not nearly as much vigor as hilda. is not giving up any dignity for this. 3rd place.
david - frank skinner. was not expecting a whole watermelon. manages to quickly get into the melon but falls short at his eating speed. is clearly trying not to choke. 4th place.
johanna - tim key. no utensils required. cracks it open right there on the table, eating as fast as possible, almost to the same wild and untamed degree as her daughter. is docked points because she sneaks a final bite of watermelon after the minute is up, just because she enjoys it. 2nd place.
kaisa - roisin conarty. was also not expecting a whole watermelon. total lack of urgency in comparison. leaves the room and spends 50 of her 60 seconds retrieving a knife, which she totally could have done beforehand, manages to crack open and eat a total of 9 grams of the watermelon before her time is immediately up. last place. couldnt give a fuck though
thanks for reading guys. if you have anything to add or ask then please do. peace and love
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lovelykil · 4 months
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hiii!! ^_^ i love your work sm! could i request killua with a reader that’s hot tempered and bossy, but secretly very soft <33 sort of like a himedere!!! platonic or romantic is fine. thank u and have a great day (≧∇≦)
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headcanons—
: ➛ killua
hc; himedere reader x killua
cw; none
note; tysm :33 also I had to look this up and I found out my fave kakegurui girl (mary) is a himedere !!!! I love her sm I just thought she was a tsundere (*≧з≦)
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ngl you two will always be in each other's faces, screaminggg
cause a himedere and a tsundere⁉️
oh boy
romantic or not kil hates how bossy you are and will always fuss, most times will NOT listen to you and does the opposite.
which pisses you off and then you two end up arguing, arguing turns to screaming and that's when Gon has to split you two apart, sweat dropping.
"guys stop fighting! You're gonna end up killing each other"
"she STARTED IT—"
"Yeah well I'm ABOUT to finish it."
again dating or not he does love to tease you just more so if you are together.
loves to get under your skin and watch you blow up with anger as he smirks to himself
you know that cat thing he does? yeah he does that lmao
when it comes to affection you both lack it, terribly.
made for each other fr.
just the slightest hint of vulnerability makes both of you shiver in disgust. You want people (him) to praise you, kneel upon you.. worship you.
not at all 'simp' over some stupid guy,,
but deep down you actually had a soft spot, and he exposed it entirely on accident.
sometimes it's just the way he looks at you in rare moments, his soft sapphire eyes gazing over at you they are like gems.. glistening with beauty that reminds you of when waves crash in the ocean late at night.
your heart melts, suddenly feeling your body tremble. Your face flushes a bright red as you frown, turning away from him.
"stop staring at me!"
"what?! I was asking you a question stupid!"
or the way he touches you, whether it's an innocent handhold so he can guide you away from an enemy or he actually just wants to touch you for some needy reason.
makes you.. feel some type of way !! (`ヘ´)
"HEY! keep your nasty hands off me, you'll get my perfect skin dirty." Σ(`Д´ /// )
"I'm TRYING TO SAVE YOU BRAT"
what a duo you two make
gon is always overwhelmed
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nyerus · 3 months
Note
Hi, Nyerus... Long time no see.... 😆😘 Sorry I just got log in to tumblr again. Because of you, I got into TGCF 3 years ago, thanks so much.... 💐
I know maybe this ask have been ask before, but can I ask your top 3 (or top 5) fav quotes from TGCF and why you love them? Thanks if you want to answer....
Welcome back! <3 It means the world to me that I helped you get into TGCF!
My top quotes from TGCF have gotta be (random order):
"Only having met you did I rediscover that it's such a simple thing to be happy." This quote absolutely killed me on the SPOT when I first read it. 😭 Xie Lian realizes how revealing it was for him to say this, but he was completely honest there. He spent centuries alone, in terrible conditions, always secretly hoping that maybe one day he would find someone who would cherish him for who he was, faults and all. He didn't have much happiness in his life, but was grateful for every kindness he encountered. Now with Hua Cheng, Xie Lian is finally able to laugh again, to feel safe, and be truly happy. Such simple, human things that he'd forgotten due to how lonely and difficult his life was.
"To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet being unable to do anything. That's the worst suffering in the world." This was so iconic of Hua Cheng, and it comes before we learn the truth of what really happened to him and Xie Lian in the past. It perfectly describes why he is the way he is, and it sent chills down my spine! I think it's quite underrated, as well. Hua Cheng saw Xie Lian harmed and ridiculed so much in the past -- he will not stand for a single instance more!!! ;o;
"You saved me. I've always looked at you. In this world, there are countless people more 'successful' than you, but none of them could have saved me like you did. None of them could have done those things you did -- You have no idea how much courage you gave me, for me to become the me today." This quote is from Hua Cheng in the final amnesia extra. That whole extra was very entertaining and fun, but then it hits you with this and I started sobbing like a baby hahaha! Once again, it perfectly encapsulates why Hua Cheng is so in love with Xie Lian: not just because Xie Lian caught him, but because Xie Lian saved him in so many ways. He was the only person in Hua Cheng's life (after his birth mom died) that showed him true compassion and gentleness. Who believed him, and believed in him. This gave Hua Cheng courage. And then he saw Xie Lian stand against the impossible to try and help others, and continue to do the right thing even when it caused himself harm. Something no one else would do. Of course Hua Cheng fell hopelessly in love.
"Something like saving the world, it really doesn't matter how you do it. But, although brave, it's foolish. [...] Although foolish, it's brave." I love this quote because despite how much he admires and respects Xie Lian, he isn't afraid to give his honest opinion on things as heavy as Xie Lian's very ideals. He doesn't agree with Xie Lian's morality, and doesn't think the common people are worth saving in the same way as Xie Lian does. I feel like sometimes, people get the wrong idea that Hua Cheng is a doormat who just goes along with Xie Lian's ideas -- but that can't be further from the truth. Hua Cheng is quite vocal and straightforward about his own goals/morality/etc. He knows it's different than Xie Lian's, but that's just who he is -- a terrifying Ghost King who will do things his own way. (And Xie Lian really really likes that about him, and wouldn't want him to change!)
"What matters is you, and not the state of you." First said by Xie Lian, and then repeated by Hua Cheng when Xie Lian needed to hear it the most! It's THE iconic, quintessential Hualian quote. So of course it's a fave!
Thank you anon for sending in this ask! I had fun with it!
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call-sign-shark · 5 months
Note
Hi Shark. I was wondering if I could be cheeky and request something from you. I was wondering if you could release a headcanon for Heaven with a list of fun facts about her (i.e. fave food, color, animal, vacation spot, book, song, drink...if she went to university what d'you think she'd study that kind of thing). She's just so interesting that I'd like to know more about her. Also, I read a fic she was mentioned in the other day and I thought you'd be interested. It was just a mention but I thought it was cool. Also, I can't wait for The woods whisper part 2. I'm on edge.
Hi sweet anon, thank you so much for your wonderful ask! As for the fic, please do send me the link. I probably have it in my reading list if the mutual has tagged me but I reckon I need to catch up with a lot of things. I've been feeling quite tired lately and I’m starting a new job as a bartender so it's quite tiring. I’m delighted you find the murderous angel interesting so here we go. 🖤
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𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝐿𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓎 𝒮𝒽𝑒𝓁𝒷𝓎 headcanons
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𝒫𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 𝐵𝓁𝒾𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈
♢ Her favorite animals are hyenas. She dreams about owning one?? She’s weird asf I know.
♢ I personally imagine her voice like the singer of Sohodolls (by the way, this song from the group is her main theme song)
♢ Surprisingly enough her favorite color is not white, but red and gold.
♢ She's multilingual and speaks: French, Russian, German, and English all fluently.
♢ She's 25 at the beginning of HYE, even if throughout her life people struggle to give her an age since she has this very woman-child aspect.
♢ Her style is quite modern for the era. When she doesn’t wear elegant and revealing dresses with gold jewels, capes or fur coats, she loves stealing one of Arthur’s shirts and tuck it in her skirt. Similarly, he had to buy a second coat ‘cause she had stolen his. Most of the time she either dresses like a goddess or a forest nymph.
♢ She loves fun fairs and circuses! When they started flirting together and meeting at church every night, Arthur sometimes brought her candied apples.
♢ She might be an enchanting singer and she might love music but she's awful at playing an instrument. She tried piano, guitar, harp, and violin but she was terrible at all of them.
♢ She has empathy issues she hides quite well. Now, I’m not saying she has 0 Empathy but she lacks of it most of the time except with Arthur or on a few occasions. It leads her to be cold and sardonic with people outside of her private circle when she doesn’t “mask”.
♢ Did someone said “lemon pie”? She’d kill for lemon pies. It’s her favorite dessert of all time.
♢ Her Birthday is the 22 January.
♢ She's fond of myths, legends, and fairy tales. If she had to pick one tale and one myth she would go for the Red Little Riding Hood and the Beast of Gevaudan. But her favorite story is Alice’s Adventures.
♢ She's a "mama bear", which means she doesn't lose her temper easily despite being gifted with an ability for extreme violence but touch her husband, kids or family and she'll go f e r a l.
♢ She talked several times with Linda at church, unknowing Heaven was already fucking her husband (and she enjoyed it). I know, that's a dick move.
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𝑀𝑜𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓃 𝒜𝒰
*most of the hc above still works for her modern!self
♢ Her favorite book is The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris.
♢ She works as an exotic pole dancer and aerial performer. Considering this, she also masters aerial hoop, silks, and Chinese pole.
♢ She is currently applying to study forensic medicine after several years of gaps.
♢ She has spent years locked up in a mental institute, in the dangerous patients ward.
♢ Her favorite food is Japanese Udon soup with gyoza and Nikuman as side dishes.
♢ She loves listening to brutal music, such as metal, hard rock, or alternative trash/bimbo music even if her playlist is actually quite varied. You can go from Rammstein and Angerfist to Britney Spears and Lana Del Rey.
♢ She smokes weed.
♢ If she had to choose a drink it would be red wine for alcohol and pumpkin spice latte for sweet. But in truth, she’s that annoying gym girl so she mostly drinks water and homemade protein smoothies. She also loves boba milk teas.
♢ She's a huge fan of horror movies and games (especially FNAF), with a fascination for cannibalism. With that being said, she organizes the best girl nights ever, especially during Halloween.
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Heaven is reader in the Arthur Shelby x you series Heaven in Your Eyes. Why don't you join the ride? We have drama, sex and gore.
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snug-gyu · 4 months
Text
so another year is coming to an end, and i feel like a lot has happened to me this year that i should do a little post so i can remember everything i went through and the good things that came from it. under the cut cause this will probably get long
so this year i moved back in with my parents for mental health reasons. i left behind a good job, great coworkers and a place i had just recently finally got to myself. even though i had all that, i was still feeling so bad with myself i realized i needed the support to get back to my feet.
i lost my most precious baby in the process to a horrible desease that took him from me in a matter of days, and i had to watch him suffer through it all while not being able to do anything besides make him as comfortable as i could.
with all that, i also got myself into a terrible job that was so taxing on me i feel like i deleted most of those months from my mind as a defense mechanism, to the point i broke down one day after being humiliated by my asshole boss and finally quit.
all of this happened while i changed psychiatrists and treatment at least twice, so the weeks following me quitting my job were very important to finally give my mind some rest and now i'm in a job that is a lot more considerate and less taxing on my mental health.
now on for the good things.
this year i managed to see two of my faves live, nct 127 in january and ateez in august. i haven't been to concerts in so long and now i'm completely addicted. i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store (hopefully skz?)
through all of that, some friends have been soooo important to me. you guys were there for me in my darkest hours and for the happy times as well.
@secretdiaryofanawkward my bestie, i love you. thanks for being there every day with your memes, rants and cat pics. i cherish our memories together even if it's just laying down in silence while we do our own thing. thanks for helping me while i was on my lowest and i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be where i am now mentally without your help
@hongamon , @changbeens and @cryiingemoji . you guys have been with me since last year and i know i can count on you being there to cheer me up with blorbo pics or to talk shit about people. thanks for your friendship and i hope you know i'll always be there if you need me
@ggthydrangea and @winterfloral , your words (or gifs) of reassurance mean the world to me. also @juiceofmoons and @missyedits , even though we didn't talk much i'll always have you in my heart. i know y'all been busy this year with work and uni, but i'm glad we finally managed our mb babes' call
@chanrizard my beloved wife, @decembermoonskz by sweetheart, @agibbangs my spiritual neighbor and the whole of lix jail @leenope @jinniebit @lixence @thnx4thefish @wisteriya @happysmilebtr @babebatter @haenglixie thanks for the chaos and the laughs and even if we don't talk much y'all are very special to me.
all my beloved moots, i love you guys very much and it's lovely to interact with you even if it's just through tags sometimes. you have a special place in my heart and know that if we're moots you're automatically all my friends
@hanjesungs thanks for caring the burden of modding the stayblr server since it's begging and for being the voice of reason when we need it
to all of the people on the stayblr discord server, know that i consider you all my family and going there is like coming home, so thanks for always being so warming and nice to hang around. @hongjoongpresent @brightermorepls @astraykidz @noonaracha
sorry if i forgot anyone, just know that i'm very grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. my ask box and dms are always open 💜💜 thanks and i love y'all
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mauesartetc · 9 months
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Hi, I just want to vent: I've gotten huge amounts of backlash for posting my criticisms of Helluva Boss on reddit, especially about Stolas' and Stella's relationship-stating why I think it's a bad depiction of abuse etc. And while I've said things that were insensitive and out of line, I find it very hypocritical that many fans defend Vivziepop to high heaven and act like she's some kinda goddess of writing who can do no wrong.
It's clear to me that many fans are so passionately defensive of the writing because find Stolas and his experiences relatable, and thus they see any criticism of his character and how the abuse is written as a personal attack.
Not gonna mention any names, but I've seen certain people say things that basically dismiss all critics as "immature kids who don't get real mature art like Helluva Boss" and explain the inconsistensies and plot holes with handwaves that while plausible, ignore the rule of "show don't tell". It all feels like ass-kissing and refusing to acknowledge that your fave show has flaws to me.
I really hate the dismissal of any critics as "abuse apologists" when the show itself is terrible at handling the topic of abuse, plays abusive behavior for laughs and depicts things that are toxic as "cute".
I also want to add that some people have justified Stella's one-note personality by saying "real maturity is accepting that sometimes people are just jerks" I find that a shoddy excuse.
I don't believe that any person on the planet is a jerk for no real reason, because real people aren't political strawmen or enemies in a war-propaganda film designed to incite rage and disgust-they have reasons for their actions even if they are disagreeable. To me, the comfortable fantasy is believing that the people who hurt you are evil monsters who only exist to inflict misery, when the truth is that they are their own people with positive and sympathetic qualities like everyone else.
These are my thoughts, I would like to hear yours on what I said.
"Immature kids who don't get real mature art like Helluva Boss"
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LMAO okay if that person considers Helluva Boss "mature art", I'm convinced they've never consumed any other media intended for an adult demographic, and therefore have nothing to compare it to. The only time Helluva felt like a show for adults (to me, anyway) was Moxxie and Millie's song in "Ozzie's", where they have the confidence to reaffirm for themselves that they don't need to be kinky to have a fulfilling sex life. That's a message actual adults can relate to and need to hear. But the rest of the show comes off like it was written by edgy teens who think they know how to balance comedy and drama just because they've seen BoJack Horseman. Spoilers- They don't.
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You're allowed to like it, you're allowed to think it's a good show overall, but... mature? Is it really? C'mon now.
Here's the thing: When people know they have no argument, they start mischaracterizing their opponent's position so it's easier for them to take the moral high ground. Easier for them to "win". Oh, you're not a fan of this show? You must be an abuse apologist, or a homophobe. They make these claims despite having little to no evidence they're true, just so they can disregard reasonable criticism and retreat to their comfortable little bubble where no one disagrees with them.
And you see this kind of rabid defense whenever someone has developed such an unhealthy attachment to something they like that it's become a vital part of their identity. They feel, at least subconsciously, that any attack on that thing is an attack on them. Why do you think some sports fans throw a fit when their team loses?
This is partly why I feel it's important to criticize media you like in addition to media you don't, understanding that nothing made by human hands will ever be perfect. If you can get some emotional distance from it, you won't get heated every time someone expresses the tiniest beef with it. Because chances are, it might also be a criticism you've made.
But I think at this point it's best to just disengage. If someone's made their mind up on a particular topic, no amount of convincing will change it. Leaving the conversation (or not entering it in the first place) is always an option. Block that subreddit if you have to. If you think they're wrong, let them be wrong. In a few years, they might find some sense of identity outside the stuff they enjoy, or they might not. It's not really your concern. The only real winner in an internet argument is the one who has a life outside of it.
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cosmics-beings · 1 month
Text
I’m still on the “megatron isn’t really a slave and the miners were actually happy being miners and therefore couldn’t be slave’ as if stocklholm syndrome and forced conditioning isn’t realistically a part of slavery and megatron at the end of the day was one of the few to break out of it.
But that’s not the point of this post.
I think that the reason a lot of people have trouble admitting that megatron was a slave and that he was an oppressed person is because it forces them to actually hold autobot society accountable for the flaws in the system. A system that forces slaves to revolt and has slavery in the first place is a flawed system.
A system that creates people for a certain purposes and forces them into that purpose while others get to choose what they want to be and forge their own bodies, a system that allows castes to choose and dictate how one lives their lives, a system that even has forced labor (slavery) is a flawed system. And yes, that makes Megatron and the Decepticons oppressed which is why they revolted, and I think people have trouble accepting that.
Transfomrers IDW 1 isn’t ever supposed to be viewed through a black and white lens. It is more than obvious that the Decepticons became something terrible at the end; a genocidal, oppressive regime. That is something that we can’t ignore.
But at the same time none of that would’ve happen if there wasn’t an unjust society that mistreated, abused and oppressed half of the bots there. And I don’t think that’s what people want to admit.
No the autobots are far from perfect, that is the whole critique. most of them lived in privilege and never even had to think about what was happening around them until the war hit. A lot of them used their privilege as autobot and high ranking authority to their advantage (i.e prowl, whirl, sentintal prime). 
The fact that Optimus was one of the few to outwardly call them out and he was somewhat scrutinized for it until he war isn't supposed to be a good thing. it's supposed to show their corruption.
The system was designed to be oppressive and to hold people down. Which is why there was a war.
I honestly don’t think this was something that needed to be explained but hearing people say that megatron wasn’t a slave and basically act like him and all the other miners were happy and were forced laborers just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Especially as someone who has traceable slave ancestry in my lineage and a lot of things people say to prove the megatron isn’t a slave I’ve seen people use irl before which is you know, gross. 
AND this isnt' saying that the autobots are terrible, irredeamable people. but acting as if they weren't in the wrong or that the society they created wasn't inherently oppressive, which is why a revolution was needed, is just missing the point.
you've got to sometimes accept that your faves are flawed. and that is what makes them interesting! having the autobots presented to us as the good guys for years and then reading idw1 and seeing how morally corrupt they are is INTERESTING. that doesn't make them unlikable it makes them interesting.
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rickybaby · 22 days
Note
ughhh. same as the presser with lance valtteri and hulk :( i hate how the press/social media have lumped in misinformation, gossip, max to merc, jos v christian etc with serious sexual harassment allegations. combining the actual crisis with the sensationalist bullshit just muddies the water when it needs to be clear the most. these reporters need to be more specific about which “distractions” they are asking these drivers about because there is a huge difference between rumor mill and inappropriate behavior allegations and the questions and answers need to reflect that
Others may find this opinion misplaced, but I agree that the press holds a large part of the blame for what this situation has become. Their reporting around an already opaque situation has made it even murkier. They’ve rushed to publish unsubstantiated things for the sake of sensationalism. Certain journalists have allowed themselves to be the conduit in the power-play of others and that’s the true extent of the unethical reporting around all of this.
I think, in a way, we’re also responsible for what the situation has become because we’ve all fed into the sensationalism with our clicks and the way we’ve speculated on each rumours and despite what we all want to say about our own moral high ground, we’ve all played a role in this.
I know it’s very reductive to say they’re all rich white men and they shouldn’t be our moral compass and all, but at the end of the day, sometimes this is all it is, unfortunately. I’m not going to sit here and justify what Daniel’s said. In all the circumstances, it was a terrible thing totally devoid of compassion and regard for the victim to say. But to see the way some of you can’t seem to criticise him without turning it into some oh my fave could never. Yes, your fave could. Your fave would. They would have as easily said the bullshit Daniel’s said if it was their team boss involved, and if you disagree, then you’re deluding yourself. At the end of the day, these men will always choose themselves.
Also, all the drivers would have been extensively briefed by their communications and PR team coming into this weekend and all their comments about I’m just concerned about my racing IS their PR hardline. It just goes to show no one at the teams truly care and I personally will point fingers at certain people for turning this situation into the whole ‘just distraction and noise’
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artist-issues · 3 months
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I just found out you like the Twilight Zone! Please talk about your favorite episodes, if you have the time!
Oh yay, sure! I started watching the Twilight Zone about five years ago and it’s become one of my top 3 favorite tv shows of all time. It’s creepy, and I have a low tolerance for psychological horror, so I take my time watching it. But my favorite three episodes are a lot of other people’s faves, too.
I think the very best one is It’s A Good Life. This kid is born with godlike powers—he can do anything—but he chooses to make everything the way he wants it. He transports his whole town out of the world or destroys the rest of the world—the townspeople aren’t sure which. Their lives revolve around keeping this kid happy, because if he’s ever upset, he does terrible things to them. He doesn’t like it when people look at him like he’s the monster he is, so he strikes them blind, or turns them into toys, or, if he even hears you thinking unhappy thoughts he sends you “to the cornfield.” Which is basically death. The whole town is constantly telling the boy that everything he does is good, and everything they feel is good, and they’re always telling each other to think everything is good. And eventually one guy stands up to the boy (the boy’s name is Anthony) and gets fed up, and Anthony kills that guy, then makes it snow, which kills all the remaining crops in the town, and the people just sort of go… “I guess we won’t have food now. That’s a good thing you did, Anthony.” And it ends.
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Because the thing is, all of the stuff that sets Anthony off—all of his little pet peeves that everybody tiptoes around—they’re actual good things. He doesn’t like other kids because they don’t always do what he wants. He doesn’t like dogs because they are afraid of him. He doesn’t like music, or television, unless it’s what he creates. He thinks suffering is funny and he likes to make up vicious creatures, then kill them, and have everybody approve of it.
Anthony is forcing everyone to behave like what is really good is actually bad, and what is really evil is actually good. He flips right and wrong on it’s head, and everyone goes along with it out of fear.
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I also love Eye of the Beholder, even though it’s on the nose. (HA. Get it) The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine is incredible too. That idea that nostalgia for whatever you thought was the best time of your life can actually imprison you…and you don’t even know it’s a prison. And it keeps you from embracing and growing in and loving the rest of your life.
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And Where Is Everybody, for those of you who’ve never seen The Twilight Zone, is the very first episode, and it just perfectly captures the weird “what is going on” vibe that draws you into the show.
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I think there are two things that make me love The Twilight Zone.
The first is that every episode “makes you think.” Usually they don’t have conclusions where everything is explained, or resolved; Anthony is not defeated, Barbara Jean stays in the movie screen with no explanation of how she got in there or what will happen to her now…but the fact that the storytellers leave it like that literally forces you to think more about what you just saw.
Your brain naturally goes, “yikes, the kid just gets to keep making life a nightmare? Don’t like that. If I were in there I would’ve just knocked him on the back of the head. Why didn’t anybody do that?” And by having to think about it more, you aren’t critiquing or arguing with the actual story. You’re thinking it over, trying to figure it out, because you naturally accept that there is something there to be worked out. The “message” of every episode gets under your mental guard, works it’s way into your worldview.
You watch “It’s a Good Life” and realize that not everything is “good.” Sometimes there’s plain evil that can’t be reasoned with or explained away in the world, and you just have to stop protecting yourself with pretending otherwise and do something about it. The townspeople should’ve all stopped pretending and worked together, or been brave enough to realize stopping the monster or dying trying was better than living in fear.
And that brings me to the second thing I love about The Twilight Zone: every episode has a message. It has something it wants you to think about. It’s not just tickling your suspense-responses, or giving you a brain worm about nothing but creepiness. It’s not trying to get you “in your head” to “figure it out.”
I know I just said it makes you think, but it specifically makes you think about something real, a concept that affects real life. The Twilight Zone answers enough of your questions with each story to make you think about the lesson, and doesn’t give you enough information to be like, “I’m going to figure out the Easter eggs, and the backstory behind how everybody in Eye of the Beholder got pig noses!”
The Twilight Zone makes it obvious that there are important questions to ask when you watch a story, (like, “Why didn’t everybody work together to kill Anthony?”) and there are useless, unimportant questions to ask when you watch a story. (Like “where did Anthony’s godlike superpowers come from?”) And it specifically engineers each story so that you’re more emotionally involved with the RIGHT questions, instead of the arbitrary questions.
Nowadays everybody’s like, “let’s figure out exactly where that Easter Egg came from! Let’s see if we can figure out what version of Arthur’s narrative is the REAAAL one in The Joker! I can’t actually verbally explain what Christopher Nolan was doing but I totally got Tenet.” 🙄
I’m tired of stories that are all shock-&-awe and no meat. The Twilight Zone might ask you simple questions, but they’re really good, important ones to have answers to. And the artfully suspenseful, show, don’t-tell episodes of The Twilight Zone make those questions stick in your head and your heart.
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matan4il · 7 months
Text
"...and I'm the one who loves you"
Kinnporsche vs Call Me By Your Name meta
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I was thinking maybe I should write this meta. After all, if I compared Mile’s fave LGBTQ film to KPTS, shouldn’t I do the same for Apo’s? Seems only fair. But honestly, CMBYN is so intensely personal for me, since I'm both gay and Jewish, that I wasn’t convinced I can do it. Then back in June, Mileapo chose to fly to Paris while wearing each other’s fave color, so here we are.
“We may be Jews of discretion”
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The reason why CMBYN is so personal to me is not just that its protagonist is queer and also happens to be Jewish. It’s that the similarities are pointed out between being a member of both of these marginalized groups. Not for every single member of these groups, of course, but many times if you’re Jewish or if you’re queer, it is possible to hide. Not if you’re a religious Jew, with clothes and customs that give you away. Not if you’re a guy whose manners are seen as “sissy” and homophobes decide you’re gay before you even identify as such. Not if you’re a Jew with a very obvious Jewish last name or ethnic look. Not if you’re a queer person who happens to fit someone’s idea of what gay people are like. But under certain circumstances, there is a possibility to hide, to be invisible. And that existence isn’t easy either, when an antisemitic or homophobic environment can make it sometimes feel impossible to do anything other than hide, feeling like a target even when you do. You have to force yourself to act a certain gender-conforming way, or hide your Star of David necklace, relinquish some of the things that you want and need, or only get to have them in secret. You just have to be silent. Keep your voice as a member of one of these groups to yourself. Keep your authentic self unseen. Know that otherwise, there will be much to lose. That you can never be sure of your safety. Hide. Remain disconnected from your community. Stash away your truest self. Bury it so deep that sometimes you end up even lying to yourself. Pay the terrible price of being unknown, unseen, unaccepted, internalizing that so many people’s love for you is conditional, dependent on a part of you being erased by fear and eventually self-loathing. This is what it means to be Jews of discretion, as Elio’s mom puts it (not telling her son to remove his Star of David necklace, but still covering it with her palm). To be Queers of discretion, as we all start in a heteronormative society. As Elio starts and eventually refuses to be (in the book), and as Oliver is, outside the bubble the Perlmans provide him for one summer.
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It’s ironic Oliver will remain trapped in the closet of socially-sanctioned heterosexual marriage, when he's the one who teaches Elio that it’s alright to be openly and proudly Jewish. Oliver’s an exception. He and the Perlmans are the only Jews in this Italian town, and Elio’s family are very secretive about their Jewish identity. They keep it in the closet along with Elio’s Star of David necklace. But Oliver isn’t ashamed, he doesn’t keep being Jewish hidden away. He wears it literally around his neck for all to see. It’s brave and inspiring, which gets Elio to realize there can be another way to be Jewish. At the same time, Oliver never pressures him to adopt this path. In fact, Oliver doesn’t consciously try to do anything regarding Elio’s Jewish identity. He’s just being himself. But in being free in this regard, he inspires Elio and allows him to find within himself the courage and the freedom to choose to do the same, to dig up that Star of David necklace, and to be more openly himself.
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It interlaces their identities, as Elio refers to them in the book as “brothers in the desert.” A reminder of their Jewish ancestors wandering around the desert and eventually coming out of it, reaching the Promised Land. Together. This is also a reminder that in very similar ways, embracing your marginalized identity can give you strength. It can give you roots from which to grow, a community to be a part of, a connection to something greater than yourself. It can give you confidence that some may not accept you, but you are not as lost as it may seem.
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At the end of the day, even if Oliver wasn’t able to choose to live an openly queer life himself, it’s implied that the courage he gave Elio to be openly Jewish, to realize he does have options as a member of a marginalized group, also allowed this young man to eventually be open and honest about his bisexual identity.
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In my Brokeback Mountain vs KPTS meta I went into the details of how we know that Kinn and Porsche live in a world in which homophobia exists, but in their personal circle and experiences, it is almost nonexistent. Kinn is definitely not a “queer of discretion.” We don't find out right away, but it’s made clear that he’s not afraid of people finding out he’s gay as he tells a gorgeous woman hitting on him in the bathroom that she’s not his type in ep 102, doesn’t try for a second to hide his boy toy in 103, and then it’s explicitly confirmed by Pete that Kinn’s openly gay in 104. Porsche, who didn’t realize he’s bisexual until he met Kinn, needs a bit more time, though not much more. He recalls they kissed shortly after he discovers Kinn’s gay (nice touch there, showing how that man is Porsche's sexual awakening on several levels) in ep 104, and by the start of 108, he’s ready to tell two meaningful people (his surrogate mother and his best friend) about it. Yes, Jom guessed it first, but Porsche could have denied or lied in reaction, he could have chosen the closet, even temporarily while he was still processing his own newly found identity. He does to a degree, he asks Yok not to tell anyone else because he’s never dated a guy before. But he doesn’t keep his truth hidden from her and Jom.
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Yet, I would argue that Porsche’s nervousness over anyone else knowing that he’s dating Kinn qualifies in a sense. He does get embarrassed about his lack of experience in dating a man. He does have a moment of hesitation as they walk out of the bathroom in the cafe during their 108 date and the two girls who walk by glare at them. He even lets go of Kinn’s hand for a moment (and remember that the oath “I’ll never let go of his hand” will become meaningful between them). Then later Porsche gets shy about exchanging kisses in the cafe courtyard as they’re leaving, too. He’s also the one who told Kinn not to share their news to begin with. So for a short while, even if they’re not fully in the closet as queer men, they do keep their relationship stuffed in there, becoming lovers of discretion, in part due to the challenges of homophobia.
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Don’t get me wrong, I think they have some obvious fun with the secrecy as well, especially at first, when they enjoy teasing each other sexually in front of everyone else, and without anyone realizing what's going on. But I also believe it takes a certain toll on them. Having to monitor a part of yourself, watch what you can and can’t say, regulate your behavior, limit your freedom, it always comes with a price. For Kinn and Porsche, I think that is most pronounced when Tawan returns. Of course this man isn’t clueless to the fact that they are together even if they’re not open about it, but the fact that they’re hiding it is something he can easily exploit. He can try and get closer to Kinn without Porsche being able to do or say anything about it publicly. He can undermine Porsche’s confidence, get under his skin, without Kinn being able to reassure him in public that he has nothing to be afraid of. By the time Porsche does get some alone time with his boyfriend, instead of having an open, honest talk about it, he��s busy with seduction techniques, because Tawan has already got to him with those mind games. And at the same time, he can get to Kinn, too! Tawan can manipulate the situation to make it seem as if Porsche is a traitor without them being able to talk openly about this. Porsche is not free to say in front of everyone that their love means too much to him to betray what they have, while Kinn's POV might be influenced by the question of, “If you don’t want to be open about us, if you can lie about it, what else can you be deceitful about?”
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It’s a testament to their bond that despite all this, they manage to come out on the other side with their trust in each other renewed. Maybe even deepened, now that they’ve gone through their first trial of fire, and learned that their love is stronger than they might have previously thought. They started out as lovers of discretion, but after this trial, they get to step into the light, together. "And I will call you by mine"
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One of my favorite themes in CMBYN is the melding of identities that occurs when two people are not just lovers, they’re also soulmates. A part of one becomes a part of the other. We first witness this when Oliver and Elio finally give in to their physical, intellectual and emotional attraction to each other by having sex. “Call me by your name,” Oliver asks in Elio's bed, which is his for the summer, “and I will call you by mine” (the reversal in identities is also reflected in the upside down shot of this scene). I love that immediate promise of reciprocity. I love that there’s already some level on which he recognizes that they’re so much more alike than some might think.
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Calling one by the other’s name also expresses how they’ve changed each other. They’ve made each other braver, happier and more honest. Not just between the two of them. They each allowed the other one to understand himself better and be more honest with his own self. And that changes them. Oliver after Elio is not the same person he was, neither would Elio ever be the same person. He was changed by Oliver, and he was bound to, in order to become himself. To be loved by someone who helps you be a better version of yourself means to be changed, because that better version would never come to be expressed without that person.
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So the exchange of names isn’t just a sweet moment between two men who just had sex for the first time. It’s a profound sharing of who they are, tying themselves to each other. It also becomes a part of their love language. Their verbal code for belonging to each other. At a certain point in the book, many years after their affair is over, Oliver is visiting the Perlman parents, and they call Elio, putting the two former lovers on the phone line. Oliver has done what he was expected to do, he married a wife and had kids with her. Elio wonders what’s left between them and what they are to one another, as he knows that what they shared was so powerful, he himself could never forget it. Has Oliver? Elio tests it by speaking his own name into the telephone. He waits all tense for the response. When it’s given, it’s not the one he was hoping for. But towards the end of the book, after a few more years have passed, they meet once more. Elio’s father has passed away. Oliver is divorced. They talk, and as Elio offers to lead them down one of the paths they used to take, Oliver reveals that there’s no need for it. “I’m like you,” he says. “I remember everything.” But Elio doesn’t trust this, not yet. He tests Oliver again by using his own name. If Oliver turns around, if he reciprocates the gesture, then he does remember. Then... then they still belong to each other, and they still have a chance. (no spoilers from me, but if you want to know whether or not soulmates Oliver and Elio do make it, you might wanna check out the sequel, Find Me)
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The way I see Kinn and Porsche, they belong to each other in this exact manner. They make each other better, softer, happier and more fulfilled. They had both denied themselves a loving relationship, Kinn over Tawan’s past betrayal and Porsche for the sake of providing for Chay. But once they start one, it becomes evident it’s what they both wanted all along. The contentment that they find in each other is clear in scenes like the date, when Kinn simply gets to be himself, soft and cute, teasing and affectionate, or the one where Porsche just lies on Kinn’s chest, his hair being caressed by his boyfriend, their physical contact comforting and enveloping him.
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And since they belong to each other, it is also expressed in a similar exchange of identities, much like Oliver and Elio. When they start their date in 108 by going into the stalls of the cafe’s bathrooms, they are shedding their regular attires, the ones that represent what they’re supposed to be in the eyes of the world, their social roles as mafia boss and his bodyguard. In their place, they put on “civilian” clothes. Except they don’t put on their own, they each wear the other man’s casual outfit from ep 105 (thank you so much to the wonderful @moerusai who helped confirm this for me).
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I'm gonna return to Oliver and Elio for a second to mention that after their first night together, after they exchanged names their names, there's another touch of swapping identities, where Oliver is wiping the cum on his chest (most likely Elio's) with his shirt. It's the one he wore on the day of arrival, and Elio asks for it when it's time for Oliver to depart. It's a symbol that even when they'll be separated, they'll still be connected, a part of their identities still swapped. So imagine how much I screamed when Kinn and Porsche exchanged theirs!
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This is such an important moment for Kinn and Porsche. They’re setting themselves free in a sense, by allowing themselves to take on something of the other man. They get to be playful together, there is no pretense between them, this isn’t in a space that belongs to just one of them, like Kinn’s bedroom or Porsche’s house, they get to shed something of their identity and take on a piece of the other in a way that lets them be more themselves. Choosing the other man’s outfit is also another way of testifying to how much they like each other, but also that it’s specifically the other one that helps to set them free, to make them a better, happier version of themselves.
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And of course, along the show we'll see them switching between their socially assigned roles, too. Porsche is Kinn’s bodyguard, yet twice along the series, it will be Kinn who steps into danger in order to save Porsche's life from a bullet (eps 103 and 106). Similarly, by the end of the show, in order to be together, Porsche will accept the role of a mafia prince himself, coming to lead the minor family in a role parallel to Kinn's. But this will only happen after the ultimate reversal in positions between them. If in ep 101 we meet cold-blooded killer Kinn, if he had all the power with an entire gang of armed men at his back while he pulled a gun on a very confident and determined Porsche (whose name Kinn originally didn't even know) to extort him, by ep 114 it will be Porsche (confused and lost after everything he has ever known about himself, his family and his life since the accident turned out to be false) who has his gun pointed, while Kinn will be standing there, trying to stop Porsche from becoming a cold-blooded killer, Kinn's hand alone on the right side of the screen conveying his helplessness. They're both stripped naked of all of their defenses and who they used to be, and Kinn's begging for their love and trust to somehow win by using Porsche's name. You can even see the contrast in the way the shots of these stand-offs are framed.
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Where identities get intermingled between lovers, names take on a special significance. There is an intimacy in their use, especially as a plea on its own. It's akin to saying, “Can you hear? This is me. I am asking you this and hoping that you'll listen, even when I have no other arguments, simply because of who you are to me and who I am to you.” That’s what Elio does when he uses his own name with Oliver, he is pleading with him to remember what they had, to admit to remembering it, which is to admit to how much it meant to both of them. That’s also what Porsche does when Kinn gives the order to arrest him. He’s no longer arguing facts or his own innocence. He simply pleads with Kinn to remember who they are to each other. If he does, that would be enough to make it all right. While it doesn't work, by the last ep of the show, when it will be Kinn begging Porsche using his name, it finally will.
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Another way their identities meld together which always gets to me is that in 114, we have another instance showing us that Kinn and Porsche are no longer separate beings, and that one is no longer whole without the other. When Vegas wants to shoot Kinn, something that he confesses he has dreamt about for years, he recognizes that he can’t simply shoot Kinn himself. To hurt him in his most vulnerable spot, Vegas would have to shoot Porsche. In fact, as Vegan points his gun to one organ after another in Kinn’s body and names them, he then points to Porsche’s chest, identifying Porsche’s heart as Kinn's. Their bodies physically are no longer separated. The deep meaning of this observation is later confirmed in the very same ep, when we see Kinn celebrating his and Porsche’s union by preparing a drink that he has named “Kinn’s heart” and presenting it for Porsche to drink.
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Lastly, we have one of the most important moments in the show in ep 112, when Kinn is asking for another chance and a new start from Porsche underneath the red lanterns (which have traditionally been used in ceremonies of marriage and birth. Yes, both of those feel very appropriate for the significance of this moment, especially as this is happening in the spot where they first met, where their relationship was born). He doesn’t really need to, not when he was just there for Porsche, who was contemplating killing a family man for revenge. Kinn was willing to have his back no matter what choice Porsche made, but he made it more bearable for his boyfriend to spare the man’s life by offering him encouragement and comfort afterwards. Telling Porsche that he did the right thing and Kinn’s proud of him. It’s only after this that Porsche can put the gun away. Would the Kinn who ruled ruthlessly before they met say such a thing? The guy who shot an accountant in ep 101 point blank for a much smaller sin than killing someone’s parents, without even blinking? But Kinn wants them to be sincere with each other, and he knows that starts with asking forgiveness for the things he held back himself. And Porsche accepts his plea for a fresh start through agreeing to play along with Kinn’s re-introduction. If when they first met, Porsche wouldn’t even tell this man his real name, if this scene reminds us that they both lied to and distrusted each other, now it’s a completely different story. Porsche gives his real name, and offers a description of them that says everything about where they are. “I’m the one you love... and I’m the one who loves you.” He presents them as perfect reflections of each other, wording it in a way that would be true if either man said it.
What’s in a peach?
One of my favorite scenes in CMBYN is probably its most controversial one. Yes, the peach scene. In case you’ve only seen the movie, not read the book, I have to start by mentioning that they don’t play out in exactly the same way in both versions. Let me start by saying a few words about the original book version.
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In the book, Elio fantasized about being seen and wanted, he’s thinking of both the girl he had lost his virginity with and Oliver, who he first slept with the night before. So the fantasy is linked to his bisexual awakening. He starts playing it out with a peach he’s been holding, fucking it and tying the act in his mind to a Greek mythology tale he’s making up. It’s about lovers who are kept apart by an unaccepting society, they were turned by the gods into peaches, and this kind of a sexual act is their only possibility of a future reunion, hundreds of years down the line. This tale is a foreshadowing of Elio and Oliver’s eventual separation and the question of whether they would get to reunite. In Elio's mind, it connected this sexual act to shame and to society’s judgment. He also recognizes that fucking a peach is “a crazy thing” once he’s done. With his semen inside the fruit, Elio ends up identifying it with himself, with what he must have looked like the night before, when Oliver came inside him. He becomes ashamed of himself, of his sexuality and of his affair with Oliver, of what society will make of it.
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Elio falls asleep and is later awoken when Oliver comes into his room to fulfill the promise made that morning, to give him a blow job. Oliver starts to do exactly that and as he feels the taste left by the peach, it prompts a confession out of Elio. He also ends up asking, “I’m sick, aren’t I?” Oliver reassures him with words that he’s not, then with actions, deciding to eat the peach with the semen still inside. Elio can’t handle that. He tries to stop Oliver, and in a parallel, he first tries words. This only prompts Oliver to confess how much he has wanted Elio this whole time instead of continuing to play it cool. He makes himself vulnerable to make sure the guy he fell for doesn’t feel bad about a passion they both share. So Elio resorts to actions. He physically lunges himself forward. But Oliver catches him and won’t be stopped. He goes ahead and eats the inseminated peach while staring intensely at Elio, making sure he’s watching this. It’s such an impactful moment that Elio describes love making as not going “that far.” At that moment, since the semen is in Oliver’s mouth, Elio says it’s “more his than mine.” It’s another instance when they’re melding into each other. It's a perfect act of love and acceptance which makes even sex pale in comparison. Elio was ashamed and the peach took on the symbolism of everything that he dislikes about himself, everything that he can’t yet accept. And Oliver, by insisting on eating it, is basically telling him, “There’s no part of you that’s too shameful, not even the parts of you that you think are the most disgusting ones, nothing that is too ugly for me to accept and contain.”
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Elio gets it. He’s so loved in that moment, so accepted, that it becomes overwhelming and he starts to cry. He recognizes the immeasurable kindness in this act and, in a sense, this is how he reciprocates it, by allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of Oliver, too. In the book, this is where I knew that Oliver and Elio might still go through guilt and confusion, shame and separation, because love is not a magic solution for everything, but they ARE soulmates. They are bonded by this deep understanding and acceptance of each other, as well as a willingness to do what the other one needs even when it means they're making themselves vulnerable. And every deepening of their relationship is built on the foundation of that moment, while their separation happens in spite of it.
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I cannot express enough how much I love the peach scene in the book. I'll forever be sad that the movie dilutes it by having Elio succeed in stopping Oliver from eating the peach. They also added some dialogue that doesn't match the original intention, but even this one change with the peach makes a huge difference IMO, and I also believe it changes the meaning behind Elio's crying, as if it comes from a place of shame, when it's actually the exact opposite. I can only assume they didn’t want to upset viewers too much with this scene's so-called vulgarity. A man almost eating his boyfriend’s seed is better than him actually doing it, right? But really, that’s giving into (in real life!) exactly the kind of societal shame that Elio was feeling. The whole scene becomes... weaker at best.
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So when I compare this scene to KPTS, please allow me to do it with the original, more powerful meaning in mind. It was that scene that popped into my head when I first watched 108. Porsche and Kinn are waking up after FINALLY having sex they KNOW they both feel the same, where they are so incredibly joyful about being in sync, and the first thing they do as they wake up... they disgust each other with their morning breaths. This might be played for humor, it’s definitely not as dramatic and intense as the CMBYN scene, but I think it conveys the same idea. Kinn and Porsche are now in a place where they love each other enough to be able to accept even the gross parts the other one has, desire the other person anyway and kiss him passionately (morning breath and all), and find joy together while basking in this complete sense of mutual acceptance and adoration.
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It might still not sound like anything too meaningful, but this is going to be a part of the foundation for what will come later. When their reality unravels, when Kinn is forced to admit his family had manipulated Porsche into accepting his job as a bodyguard, when Porsche is at a low point and considers murdering a man at point blank for supposedly having killed his parents, when they discover that their two families are actually linked through murder and betrayal, that they themselves are not exactly who they always believed themselves to be, Kinn and Porsche will also find that despite everything, their love for each other allows them to contain all of these ugly realities and continue to trust each other, continue to build a life together. Like Oliver and Elio, they’re soulmates, too.
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Here, I might add a little note that connects this part of the meta with the previous one. When Kinn and Porsche exchange clothes (and thus, identities) in 108, they choose to wear the clothes they did in 105. That was one of their more painful moments. They’re no longer deluding themselves that they don’t want the other guy, but they’re still hurting each other. Wearing those clothes, out of all possible outfits, signifies an awareness of the other man’s ability to wound them, an awareness of the ugly parts, of the pain that is entailed in every relationship, of the vulnerability they’re bringing upon themselves by abandoning the simple sex life they had before, and choosing to go on a date together despite and together with all of that. They’re containing each other with the parts of the other man capable of hurting them, and still choose to love him. Not out of blindness, they love each other with eyes wide open, they accept the worse parts of the other one, and in doing so, they allow him and themselves to be their best, happiest, most fulfilled version.
To love as a choice
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Oliver and Elio are soulmates because at a very specific moment in time, they choose to love each other, with the worst parts of themselves included. They end up separated after their summer together, but before that, they choose each other in the most profound way. Which means that even once they’re separated, even though they hurt, even though they remember each other with longing, they wouldn’t erase their love even if they could. That's what the last shot of the movie is about, feeling the pain fully and still not regretting anything, knowing that it was worth it.
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Do Kinn and Porsche feel the same? I believe that like Oliver and Elio, they very much choose each other. Kinn and Porsche are not together only because they have to, it's because they want to. They might have had a moment where they tried to move on from each other and couldn't, but it’s not the end of their tale. In 105, they try to get past what has started to develop between them by having sex with someone else, with a person who represents their usual type up until then (for Porsche it’s a woman, for Kinn it’s an easy to control boy toy) only to discover that they can’t. There’s something about the other man that makes it evident that the kind of people they used to hook up with cannot satisfy Kinn and Porsche's needs anymore. But that doesn’t mean that they run straight back to each other. Their next interaction will actually involve a loaded gun being held between them, a fitting metaphor for how they still don’t trust each other and they’re each still incredibly upset with the other guy.
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It takes Kinn choosing to come after Porsche, making an effort to be less demanding and entitled, as well as making himself vulnerable in 106 for that to change. It also takes Porsche choosing to listen to Kinn in 105 instead of kicking him out, making himself vulnerable by angrily pointing out that Kinn never cared about him (exposing the fact that Porsche wanted him to) and being willing to look and really see who Kinn is behind his mafia prince mask. Which is why by the end of that ep, they choose each other. Kinn chooses to let Porsche go, give him his freedom and a chance at his dream and a normal life. Porsche chooses to return to Kinn despite being set free from the mafia life he despises. Porsche chooses to sacrifice his hand for Kinn (let’s not forget that without a hand, he can’t know if he’d be able to provide for himself and for Chay, maybe his most important goal in life, if he even survives amputating himself out in nature, away from any medical help), while Kinn chooses to take a bullet for him. After this ep, no matter what happens to them, no matter how bad things get, I think they know that this love and devotion is the best thing that has happened to them and they could never want to let go of each other, they would always hold each other’s hand, they would love the other man with eyes wide open and out of their own free will. They go through their own pain and suffering, the ending of the show implies that with Korn still scheming, there will be more in store for them in the future, but it's also clear that just like Oliver and Elio, Kinn and Porsche would never regret choosing and loving each other. They too know that it's worth it. Like I said... Soulmates.
(Thank you for reading! For more of my Kinnporsche/Mileapo posts, click here. For all of my Kinnporsche meta on AO3, click here)
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knightzp · 10 months
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was tagged by @tuisong to do this! tysm tūī!!! <33
15 questions for 15 mutuals
1. are you named after anyone? nope
2. when was the last time you cried? mmm one or two weeks ago maybe?
3. do you have kids? no and i dont want them either
4. do you use sarcasm a lot? a little bit sometimes? but not that much i think
5. what sports do you play/have you played? basketball, ice skating and dancing (if that counts)
6. what's the first thing you notice about other people? im terrible at noticing things so ummm their physical appearance ig. especially their face
7. eye color? brown!
8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings!! besides i cant stand scary movies...
9. any special talents? uhhh idk really... writing maybe?
10. where were you born? spain
11. what are your hobbies? playing video games, reading, writing, drawing, watching anime
12. do you have any pets? unfortunately not but i really want to....
13. how tall are you? around 168 cm
14. fave subject in school? chemistry (liked it so much im actually a chemist now lol) and i also really liked art
15. dream job? honestly just something related to what ive studied, something i like doing, that pays me well enough, isnt too tiring and where there is a good working atmosphere
tagging: @sstrawbearies / @astralx / @raeyginageorge / @skijjiki / @hardboiledteacozy / @skinwalkerbehavior / @distant-snow / @cosmic-opossum / @peach-tia / @solarings / @solarshadow / @spikeyys / @seapasture / @lunarelly / (only if you want no pressure!!)
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