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Baby, Mine

Azriel x Reader - Angst/Fluff - One shot

Rhys returns from under the mountain and Azriel’s life is changed forever as a bond snaps with the female his brother brings back with him. After an unexpected pregnancy is revealed, Azriel strives to show his mate just how much she and their child mean to him. Please read warnings below.

Warnings: discussion of rape and S/A, pregnancy resulting from rape, mentions of trauma, language, mention of pregnancy termination

“We should get up. My stomach’s growling.”

“And I thought it was just the little one chatting with my shadows.” Azriel teased, flushing beneath her gaze as his scarred fingers traced lightly over the growing swell of her abdomen, becoming more apparent by the day. He’d been nervous touching it for the first time, like he’d desecrate that precious life force growing underneath with his hands that had inflicted so much pain. But the way her eyes lit up the first time he touched it, he never wanted to forget the feeling of love and joy radiating into him through that newfound bond. It was beautiful - made him feel worthy of helping raise the beautiful life she was bringing into the world.

Though her stomach growled again, she made no move to get up, and by the way her hands were holding onto him, Azriel knew better than to go retrieve a plate from the House of Wind’s kitchen for her. So he sent a shadow beneath the door to see if Nuala or Cerridwen were there and if they could bring leftovers in, that is if Cassian and Mor hadn’t devoured the entire breakfast already.

“How’s she doing?” Rhys asked into his mind.

“Better than some days but not great, Rhys.”

There was a pause before Rhys’ guilty voice reentered his conscious.

“She’s the most selfless person I know, Az. I’m glad you two have eachother. But if she needs anything, if you need anything, let me know.”

And she was. Selfless in a way that Azriel couldn’t fathom. Selfless in a way that made his gut churn, a way he wanted to roar at the moon and the stars, and anyone who would listen. Selfless when she should have never had to be. She was bright and radiant and kind. The world looked at her and saw ethereal sunshine, walking starlight, unfathomable beauty both inside and out. But there was darkness and pain there too, so buried down deep that only Azriel could feel it in the middle of the night as whimpers disrupted her sleep.

So many nights Rhys would have to come in and cradle her mind, send her soothing thoughts and visions of anything beautiful that could mask the perils that haunted her dreams.

Azriel hated himself for it, the jealousy. He wished he could soothe her in that way but no matter how much love he sent through their bond, that darkness rooted itself so deeply within her that sometimes it took significant power from Rhys to reach it.

As if Rhys wasn’t already fighting his own trauma and waging against the insurmountable guilt he carried after being under the mountain, plus worrying about Feyre in the Spring Court. And that wasn’t to say Y/N was a burden in any way, though she felt she was. It killed Azriel to see both his mate and his brother fighting so much grief and not being able to do anything about it.

She’d have been better suited to be Rhysand’s mate than Azriel’s own by their intertwined traumas, by their ability to put themselves aside for a better world. Azriel, of course, fit into this court of dreamers but she… despite only being here for such a short period of time, she was the biggest dreamer of them all.

Another rumble from her stomach snapped Azriel out of his thoughts, mentally noting to Rhys, “She could use breakfast.”

“I’ll send some for both of you. You need to take care of yourself too.”

Azriel smelled the salt of her tears before he saw the silver lining her eyes. Propping himself up on an elbow, draping a wing over her, he began to ask softly, “Hey-“. Her head immediately shaking and she choked on the word, “No.”

“Baby, I know what you’re thinking and it’s not a burden. He just wanted to know if you needed anything.”

She took a few deep breaths, willing away those tears. “He doesn’t have to check on me. It’s my f-“

“Stop that. Listen to me, I’m always here to listen to you and I know that you’re dealing with complex emotions and trauma that I cannot even begin to fully fathom but this.. it’s not your fault.”

Her eyes welled up further as Azriel continued,

“I don’t want to lecture you or invalidate what you are feeling. Your emotions are justified but… these thoughts will eat you alive, they’re vicious lies that have been conditioned into you, and I can promise you that nobody blames anything on you. This entire family is so fucking grateful to have you as a part of it. In a world of darkness, where you had every right, every reason to bring that darkness with you, you chose light.”

He choked on his words as those tears flowed down her face. “You chose light when it only brought more darkness upon yourself.”

She cut him off. “She’s not darkness.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “She?”

And through her tears, he saw the slightest gleam of radiance in her eyes. “I can just feel it. Feel her.”

Azriel pressed a kiss to Y/N’s belly. “Yes, you are absolutely right. She is not darkness - she’s a beacon of light, the brightest star in the sky, perhaps aside from her mother - but the mental load you are carrying, it is dark and it’s heavy. And yes, you would carry darkness with you regardless of this spark of hope” he rubbed her belly in tender circles for emphasis. “But I know that mind of yours. That you are telling yourself that you’re a burden, that you made the wrong choice, when there was no wrong choice.”

At this point, the tears were streaming down her face, his shadows dutifully whisking them away, but only gratitude and love flowed from her.

A knock came on the door. Azriel’s eyes glazed over as Y/N recognized the telltale signs of what was happening. A line creased in his brow before she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s okay, he can come in.”

“You sure, my love? He understands when you need space.”

She nodded. “I know but I think I need to see him today.” Azriel brushed his thumb in soothing ministrations across her abdomen until she pulled her night gown back down to cover herself.

The door creaked open and Rhys padded over to the bed, guilt and adoration limning his features. “Hey, starshine.” She blushed at the term. She hated her own name after Amarantha had called it so many times under the mountain. Rhys had begun calling her Starshine in secret due to her Day Court origins and the fact that he was convinced she’d been more suited for the Night Court.

Rhys had been drawn to her under the mountain, something about her reminding him of his brother. Rhysand could admit that Azriel was the most beautiful of the three brothers, his features seemingly crafted by the gods themselves. But if Azriel’s features were crafted by the gods, Y/N’s were crafted by the Mother herself. Aside from that, she had a quiet presence, though far less stoic and broody than Azriel’s, it was more of a quiet, gentle grace. A grace that Amarantha had tried so hard to shed her of but was never quite successful.

Amarantha, of course, made it her mission to both seek pleasure from her and torment her. When she never fully broke, Amarantha decided that instead of throwing her to the dark corridors she stuffed most lesser fae in, she’d make an excellent play thing. She looked mostly High Fae after all, yet had enhanced sexual appeal due to her nymph ancestry - perfect high and round breasts, long legs, a firm yet supple ass, and an arousing scent - needless to say, Amarantha delighted to add her to her roster of bed chamber accompaniment.

Y/N and Rhys developed a quiet understanding of each other and the roles they were forced to play in the year that she’d been under the mountain before Feyre arrived. They did not grow close enough for Amarantha to become concerned but enough that she knew her play things got along well enough to bring them both into her chambers at the same time.

Rhys would never forget the first time Amarantha had forced he and her into her chambers at the same time. Y/N tried to be strong, and she was. Another aspect of her that reminded him of his brother.

But she began to crack slightly, and Rhys knew Amarantha would make it so much worse for her if she did. So he did the only thing he knew to do and held her mind. He showed her visions of the Night Skies of the Night Court, the spirits of Starfall, the laughter of a family surrounding a table in a beloved restaurant, anything that could help her through it.

As he held her mind, she’d unwittingly sent visions from throughout her twenty-two years of life prior to being captured and brought under the mountain. She was loved deeply by her family who had little more than love to give. Eventually they had been murdered by Amarantha’s cronies at the age of nineteen - she’d been able to escape and live among the High Fae who sneered and objectified her, but offered enough coin to sleep with her to keep a roof over her head.

Rhys had determined that night that if they ever made it out of there alive, he was taking her to Velaris with him. She’d never live like that again.

He even smiled at the thought of introducing her and Azriel when she was ready to meet his family, already picturing his brother’s rose-dusted cheeks in her presence.

“Thank you” Azriel’s low voice withdrew Rhys from his thoughts, taking the plate from his hands.

A familiar scent wafted off of Rhys to Y/N. Pregnancy had heightened her sense of smell substantially.

As she sniffed the air Rhys gave a soft, sad smile at the eye brow she raised at him before asking, “Where is she?”

He shook his head, darkness rolling in waves off of him. “Tamlin locked her in his fucking manor. She had a breakdown.”

Her face drew tight. “That bastard!” Azriel flinched at the rage flowing down the bond. “She must have been terrified.”

“She certainly terrified the servants in his manor. She shrouded herself in darkness and nobody could get through to her.”

“He doesn’t deserve her.”

Rhys nodded. “He doesn’t.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Rhys. Where is she?”

“At the Town House.”

Her eyes blew wide. “Cauldron boil me, is she staying?”

Azriel smiled as he felt her excitement flow into him. A bit of that Day Court sunshine returning to her.

“I don’t know. She knows she can’t tell anyone if she goes back, but…”

“I felt it through the bond, Y/N. I think she’s here to stay.”

Azriel’s shadows agitated at the pause in verbal conversation, chattering back and forth,

“Secrets”

He rolled his eyes and dismissed them, already knowing there were some things that remained between just Y/N and Rhys. He’d accepted it the very moment he’d shown up after he received word that Rhys was finally home and the bond snapped as soon as he laid eyes upon the radiant female by his side. He knew it snapped for her too when she walked right up to him, touched the hands he tried to hide behind his back, her eyes speaking everything she couldn’t. “I see your scars. I bear them too.” And pressed a kiss to each hand.

“Do you want me to leave? I assume she’s at the Town House but I’m sure she’ll be visiting here too, yes?”

Azriel bristled. No way in hell was Rhys going to make his mate leave, whether this home was his or not, she had a right to be present wherever she wished.

“Easy brother.”

Azriel shook off the feeling. The mating instinct was still so strong that he had a hard time not jumping in to defend her at the thought of any threat, physical or emotional.

“Y/N” Rhys took her hand.

“Don’t bite my head off for holding her hand, either.”

Azriel huffed before firing back to Rhys’ mind “I can’t wait for you to find your mate someday so you can see what it feels like to be so wound up like this.”

Rhys only gave a small, secret smile in return.

Y/N interjected. “Are you two done gossiping or can I know whether I should pack up or not?”

“This is your home just as much as it is my home. You are my family and I want Feyre to meet all of you. Cassian has already barreled through the door of the Town House along with Mor begging to be fed. Feyre went up to nap and recollect herself.”

“Can we have dinner with her… if she wants to?” She asked softly with a mixture of excitement and nervousness to her voice.

Rhys gave a nod. “I was thinking that same thing. Would you be comfortable?”

She nodded before the reality of the situation caught up with her.

“Y/N.” Rhys leaned in, gently tilting her head up to look at him. “I am not ashamed of you. I will never hide you or the life you are selflessly bringing into this Court of Dreamers.” His eyes lined with silver. “And I will always be so proud of the love that you both share. I knew from the moment I met you that my brother would adore you. And the fact that you two are mates? It’s one of the greatest things to come from that shit hole of a mountain. A reminder of the beauty that can prevail, even after the most dreadful of circumstances. I love all three of you.”

Azriel held his mate closely, ensuring she felt just how loved she truly was.

“She kicked for the first time the other day.”

Rhys raised a brow.

Y/N let out a sigh. “Ugh, you two are so skeptical. I really believe that this baby is a girl.”

Rhys eyed the scarred hand protectively placed over her round bump, so many complicated emotions running through him, with love being the strongest.

“Feyre will likely ask questions tonight regarding all of us, our stories. Nobody has to share anything they do not wish to, but you also may share if you are comfortable doing so. I would really like for Feyre to become a member of the Inner Circle-“

Rhys looked to Y/N rolling his eyes at the smirk and waggling eyebrows she gave him.

“Stop that. My point is just that, I would like for her to know all of you. I know she’ll love you all just as I do. Hell, she’ll probably love all of you before she’s ready to even fully tolerate me.”

Azriel let out a chuckle as his mate quipped “Tell me the story of the time she threw a shoe at you. It’s my favorite!”

“You cruel, lovely little thing.” Rhys laughed. “See you both for dinner.”

As Rhys exited them room, Y/N sighed. “You were awfully quiet.”

Az nudged her. “And that surprises you?”

“Okay, quieter than usual.”

Azriel pulled her in close, peppering kisses across her forehead. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for. You are still healing and now you’ll be facing someone else that was under the mountain with you.”

“She saved us all, Az.” She looked up into his hazel eyes with nothing but genuine adoration. “Without her, I never would have met you. And what kind of existence would that be?”

She began picking at the plate Rhys had brought in. Letting out a moan as the flavors burst on her tongue.

Az couldn’t help the involuntary twitch of his wings at the sound.

She laughed. “Don’t get any ideas until I’m finished with my food.”

Azriel raised his palms. “I’d never get between my pregnant mate and her meal. With the way she’s started moving, she’d likely kick me away anyway.”

She took another bite while nonchalantly commenting, “I thought of a name for her.”

“Oh yeah?” Azriel’s brows raised in anticipation of a potential name for their child.

“Azure. The same blue as the skies. I thought…”

Azriel cut her off, marveling at the name. Whispering more to himself than her. “Blue like the Day Court skies, blue like the skies that I love to take you flying in.”

She flushed. “Yes, exactly. And though it’s a different shade of blue, like your siphons.”

A lone tear escaped his eye. “And,” she continued with a coy smile. “We could call her ‘Az’”

Azriel sat still for a moment. And she would have thought he didn’t like it had it not been the rush of pure shock and awe flowing through the bond.

Suddenly he took her face in his hands, barely giving her time to swallow the bite of bacon she’d just taken, and crashed his lips into hers. And after her lips were swollen and puffy from the heat of his lips, he began pressing kisses all over her belly, whispering between them, “I love you, little Az. I love you more than the skies I fly in. More than my own name. More than any dreamer could dream of being loved. I can’t wait to fly you through the open skies, and show you every shade of blue this beautiful world has to offer. Nothing in this world matters more than you and your mother. I couldn’t be more proud to be your father.”

And he meant it. Every single word. The blood running through the baby growing inside of his mate didn’t need to be his, what mattered was the love flowing within the child and he intended to pour every single ounce of love he had into their baby.

It was Y/N though who broke down at those words. She and Azriel had spent every free moment together since meeting. He’d healed her in ways that she never could have dreamed. Finding her mate changed the time after Under the Mountain from the lonesome trauma reckoning hellhole she’d anticipated and into a time of healing. He listened to her, understood her, let her set the pace in every aspect. And he’d shared his trauma with her, all of it.

The child who had been abused by a wicked stepmother and horrid step-brothers, overlooked by his own father had grown up to be loving, caring, and patient in every way. And now, he was going to be the parent of a child that was not his by conception, choosing to love the child just as he would his very own. A vow he’d sworn in their mating vows and sealed with a bargain.

“What is it, love?” Azriel wiped away her tears.

“Stupid hormones. I just love you so much and I need you to know that you are so much more than I ever could have dreamed of. If I had to, I would go through it all again as long as it led me to you.”

Azriel’s eyes began watering again. “Look at us, Y/N. We’re quite a sight. Whatever you say tonight, just don’t let Cassian know that I’ve gotten so soft.”

Her glassy eyes sparkled as she gave a sweet smile. “I have a feeling that softness has already been there, my love, I just had the privilege of coaxing it out of you.”

He smiled. “Truth Teller personified.”

————————-

“We’re heading up now.” Rhys’ voice cut into Y/N’s mind.

“Are you sure about this, Rhys? Most of them do not know what all happened under the mountain. What if it’s too much for Feyre to take in?”

“She’s my mate, I have to hope that she will love and accept us all in time. It may be a lot to meet us and hear our stories but they’re a part of us, a part of loving us. I’m worried about Cassian scaring her off more than anything.”

“Valid concern. See you soon. Despite the circumstances, I’m so happy she’s here.”

“You know,” Rhys chuckled. “I feel the same way about you, Starshine.”

“You flatter me. Now enjoy your flight with the literal girl of your dreams.”

“She’s glaring daggers at me right now. Pray I make it there alive.”

“Where’d you go?” Az nudged.

Leaning into her mate’s side, embracing the warmth of his arms wrapped around her shoulders she replied, “Rhys and Feyre are on the way.”

“Are you ready for this?” He asked.

“I’m sure you can already feel my nerves down the bond but I appreciate you for asking.” She teased.

Azriel kept his pace slow as they wound through the hallways of the House of Wind toward the dining table. “If you’re not ready…”

She took a steadying breath. “No, he needs to get off on a solid foundation with her. And Cassian, Mor, and Amren have eyed us for a while, they realize that something is off. Plus, I mean, look at this thing.” Her delicate hands found her stomach. “They’re going to figure out that the timelines don’t match up soon enough.”

“Our girl IS growing.” Azriel spoke, not missing the opportunity to feel the life growing within his mate.

She teased, “You’ve referred to the babe as “her” a few times now. Coming around to the idea?”

“I know better than to go against your intuition.”

With that, Y/N gave a wicked grin. “Mother knows best.”

As they approached the dining room, Azriel pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be right by your side.”

She beamed. ��And I’ll be by yours too, with whatever you may share tonight…and forever, of course.”

As everyone arrived and gathered at the dining table, Y/N couldn’t help but admire how lovely Feyre and Rhys were together. Though she hated the situation that brought her there, that Tamlin tried to hoard her away in his manor, she couldn’t help but feel joy knowing that she was finally beginning to see the true Rhysand.

The Inner Circle kept up with the typical antics and plenty of laughter filled the space, but the conversation eventually turned more serious as everyone took turns giving Feyre insight into themselves.

Feyre looked to Y/N with curiosity. “You were under the mountain, but Azriel was not?”

Her hands shook as she prepared to share. A warmth covered them as Azriel gave a gentle squeeze, sending waves of that reassurance in abundance. She took a breath.

She began by sharing the background of her family, their deaths, that she’d sold her body to survive afterward, how she’d only been under the mountain for a year before Feyre arrived.

“You didn’t know Azriel before they took you?” Feyre asked. Not harshly, just inquisitively.

Y/N held her head high. Her story was not one to be ashamed of.

“I did not. Rhys was one of the only souls to show me kindness under the mountain. I have nymph ancestry with primarily High Fae features. Amarantha took an interest in me and….”

An unreadable expression covered Rhys’ face. This was his trauma too, but he gave a reassuring nod.

“She began taking me to her chambers. I had no choice. It was warm her bed, or face physical torture until death.”

Feyre flinched along with Rhys. Y/N recognized that they were remembering the human girl Amarantha had tortured to death just before Feyre’s arrival.

“She also, against our hopes, realized that Rhysand and I had an understanding of eachother - serve her or die. Being the lust-driven wretch that she was, she began taking us both to her chambers. There was no room for weakness in there. She wanted us just weak enough to submit to her, but we had to remain strong in every other aspect. The first time she had Rhys and I, together,” she cleared her throat, giving pause before continuing, “Rhys saved me. I began to crack, and he held my mind. I will let Rhys speak on his own trauma and the mental load he carried, but he didn’t hesitate to help me get through it. It was not the last time he had to help me through it.”

The table was completely silent. Heart-wrenching expressions filled each face at the table. Palpable rage could be felt radiating off of Amren, though her face remained straight.

Her voice began cracking. Azriel pulled her close into him. “When you saved us,” She looked to Feyre. “I don’t mean to fawn or gawk over you, but Feyre, you did save us.” Feyre gave an empathetic look, nodding to Y/N to continue. “Rhys brought me back to Velaris because he couldn’t bear for me to return to the life I was living, because this Court of Dreams is made up of individuals who have lived through terrible traumas and, despite every reason to lead bitter lives- have chosen to dream of a better world. To fight for a better world. And he knew a certain Shadowsinger and I would get on quite well. In fact, he’s been a smug bastard ever since over just how well things went between us.”

“When I met him.” She stared lovingly to Azriel who swallowed a lump in his throat. “The bond snapped between us immediately. The same day I was brought here, I met my mate.”

Instinctively she placed her hands on the swell of her abdomen. “Rhys gave Azriel leave to spend time with me, for him to help me through the aftermath of what I’d been through…”

“But two weeks after arriving back, my scent began to shift.” Mor’s brows furrowed in contemplation.

“I became very sick shortly after that. Rhys called in a healer, Madja, who confirmed that I was two and a half months pregnant.”

Cassian audibly gasped and Mor murmured “Oh my gods.”

Azriel kept his composure for the sake of his mate, but this was killing him. His brother and his mate being forced by that fucking witch. “Azriel is not the biological father of this baby. The child was conceived under the forced coupling of Rhysand and I by Amarantha.”

Feyre’s face was a mix of sadness, and rage, and sympathy.

“There were options to terminate the pregnancy. However, due to my Nymph ancestry, such options can have negative, potentially deadly effects. Aside from that, though I never planned to have a child - I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another family member. Rhys, after losing his family, felt the same, which he only expressed after I shared my feelings with him. He was completely supportive of any decision I made.” Feyre looked to Rhys and then back to Y/N, no negative judgement written on those lovely features.

Y/N looked to Azriel with a loving grin “And Azriel- he took me to a priestess that night. We both wanted to accept the bond from the moment we met, the connection was unbelievably strong, I never believed in the power of the bond until I found him. And now because he’s ever the romantic, though I see him already blushing at the mention of it, he wanted to make a vow before the Mother - a vow to love me no matter what choice I made, a vow to love the life within me as his very own child, to love and cherish us both until his last breath.”

She pulled the sleeve off of her shoulder, revealing the intricate tattoo solidifying his vow.

“And Rhys,” She gave a soft smile. “He made a bargain to love and care for this child and to recognize Azriel as its father. We will not hide the parentage from our child. And Rhys, I know, already loves them dearly, but mine and Azriel’s decisions for our baby come first and will be respected as any biological parents would.”

She’d left out the part where Azriel had gone under the mountain to investigate later on and found that Amarantha had begun supplying a fertility tonic instead of birth control to Y/N after the Calanmai that Rhys had gone to the Spring Court and seen Feyre. Though she didn’t know who Rhys saw, she likely suspected he’d developed interest in someone else and become jealous, hoping an accidental pregnancy would either create a rift in any potential relationship or, even worse, that the baby could be used as leverage against him.

The table remained silent until Rhys chimed in. “So my brother is my child’s father. I’m sure stranger things have happened.”

Despite that sadness the Inner Circle felt, Rhysand’s comment elicited smiles. Azriel gave his brother a nod of thanks for breaking the tension while affectionately caressing his mate.

Mor eased the tension further by chiming in “Y/N! You are further along than we realized which means….. we get to go shopping for our newest family member sooner!!!”

Feyre decided soon after that she would like to work with the Court of Dreams.

————————-

Epilogue

Because his mate was always right, Azriel was indeed the father of a beautiful little girl, clever and stubborn like her mother, and the light of his life. Her mother the sun, and she the moon.

He and Rhys had just returned from taking “Baby Azzie” who was now a toddler to get pastries along the Sidra. Azriel returned with his half-asleep daughter in his arms, who perked up upon seeing her baby brother cooing in his bassinet. “Nyxie!!” She yelled, hurrying over to the winged babe. Rhys, however, arrived with numerous shopping bags in his own arms.

Feyre, who had been lounging with her head on Y/N’s shoulder gave the two a big smile. Y/N raised an eyebrow. “All of that better be for Nyx.”

Azriel and Rhys shared a laugh before Rhys spoke. “Well, half of it is, but only because someone batted her little lashes at us repeating ‘Brother, present. Brother, present’ until we took her into what is conveniently her favorite toy store.” Az cut in, “And because my brother is getting soft in his old age” before Rhys could remind Azriel that he was, in fact, the older of the two, Az continued, “Rhys had to buy something for her for every item she picked out for Nyx.”

Y/N groaned. “Cassian literally just bought her five new toys and six new outfits on their last outing.”

The raven-haired toddler with her mother’s nose and radiant skin, Rhys’ smile, and by some gift of the Mother - had Azriel’s golden-flecked hazel eyes, toddled up to Feyre, giving her a big hug. She then turned to her mother, leaning in to whisper something, that came out as quietly as a yell. “I got something for sissy too. Daddy has it in the pocket realm.”

Y/N’s face flushed as Rhys and Feyre gaped. “So much for keeping that a secret for a little longer.”

Feyre squealed leaning in and throwing her arms around Y/N. “I thought that maybe I was getting allergies, your scent hasn’t been as strong but you were glamouring it!”

Rhys pulled Azriel into a long hug, then walked over to Y/N with a wide smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Azriel placed a hand on his chest as he took in the sight of his blended family. It wasn’t what he’d ever expected but, to him, it was everything.

#feyre #rhysand #azriel x pregnant mate #Azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel one shot #angst #sarah j maas #READ THE WARNINGS PLEASE #feysand #under the mountain #amarantha #acotar angst #acotar x reader #acotar #a court of thorns and roses

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simpjaes · 11 days

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desecration. (s.j)

the one where no gods exist when you’re alone with jake sim.

minors dni !! | if you read it, reblog it.

WORDCOUNT ― 6.4k

PAIRING ― jake sim x afab reader

GENRE ― top/dom jake sim, characters are in their twenties, sub/bratty reader, religious kink/fetish

WARNINGS― mild dub con, desecration of holy a relic, inaccurate descriptions of whatever religion this is– im not doing research for a 5k fic that’s mostly smut, sorry.

NOTE― if you’ve read this before, it’s because I wrote it for mark lee over on my other blog [ncteez]. we wanted to make it jake, and by we i mean me. i wanted to read this as jake. sorry to religious ppl, don’t read this if you don’t wanna be railed by a hot guy wielding a cross.

smut tags under cut::

smut tags― DUB CON. use of the words: whore, slut, for the record, the cross is not raw wood and has a smooth finish, reader is first attempting to seduce the priest through confession lmao, she’s also just a massive whore just like me :), jake is the priest’s son, jerking off, penetration using a wooden cross, unprotected sex, spitting, choking on and/or sucking off a cross, degradation, and name-calling, he’s a godfearing man but also he likes sexual perversions, humiliation, explicitly getting fucked in a church, kind of fingering?

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jake wonders why you’re always making confessions, time and time again, once a week, every single week….eagerly. Like you’re excited for your sin or something.

Huh.

Then again, once a week his father is expected to listen to confessions from the other churchgoers, even Jake himself is expected to confess. Often he will make up sins that he has committed just to seem as though he has been learning from some sort of mistake. Never would Jake actually tell his father through a confession booth what he has done or is willing to do. He’s an adult, he can confess whatever he wants.

You, on the other hand, you’re working his father to the bone in terms of forgiveness.

Jake’s interest piques at the very idea of a young woman, around his age, wanting to confess so much. Did you hurt someone? Does you hurt yourself? Did you kill someone? Or maybe you’re just caught up in a situation that makes you commit atrocities? He can’t even imagine what one person could be doing to elicit such an eager need of forgiveness so consistently.

Always the first in the box, always with those inappropriate outfits too.

Jake makes his way to the back of the church to complete his duties and, of course, he isn’t surprised to see you enter the confession booth. After all, it is the start of a new week.

Hushed whispers were echoing through the large space and only now does he realize that you almost always confess when the church is nearly empty. You must not be unaware of his presence at all, unaware that he is the son of the priest that you spill your sins to, and unaware that he can absolutely hear you when he walks closer.

He isn’t entirely sure why he is listening. The walls of this church echo any and every sound, and to be fair, the only reason his interest is piqued is because his father was silent from the moment you had entered the booth. All he heard was you. You didn’t seem to start the confession off in a proper manner either, so yeah, maybe it caught him off guard too.

His ears make attempts to adjust to the words coming from the booth, but your voice is coming out in a tone that he has never used himself when seeking salvation. Minutes pass and he still hasn’t heard his father speak a word back to you, not to encourage you, not to stop you. It’s just you, addressing dreams, visions, wants, and needs.

Certainly not confession. In fact, you’re actively sinning, attempting to seduce.

“I woke up shaking, Father. What should I do?”

Jake notes how quiet his father is still, despite you asking him what to do about the dream. His face sours when you continue to speak, this time in a slightly louder tone.

“I just can’t help myself sometimes, I–”

It’s not that it’s intentional, really, it isn’t. If anything at all, Jake is incredibly disgusted by your attempts to dirty talk during a confession. Disgusted that you’d do such a thing, and…maybe intrigued by what you may have said that he wasn’t quite able to catch before. He quietly moves to the other side of the booth, the side where you seem to be spouting off all sorts of things, and he raises his head to listen a bit more.

“You were big, you know? I can’t get thoughts of you out of my head. Have you ever touched a woman, Father?”

Jake leans in further, his body reacting more than his disgust. Unfortunately, his length growing in his pants ceases the moment his father cuts you off.

“Enough.” His father finally stops you from abusing the booth, from abusing him.

Not another word is spoken and Jake does his best to back away quickly and quietly as you exit the booth. Of course, he’s acting as though he is sweeping a corner when he turns to look at you. Eye contact is made and he can feel an intense rush of heat spread across his cheeks.

Ah, so you’re a whore.

His father stays inside of the booth for a long, drawn out, three or so minutes before exiting and all Jake can think about is if you walked out of the church soaked and warm between your legs. It’s not even that Jake is into sinning. He isn’t. His entire life was built around this church, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a man. He has needs just like you do, apparently.

Never would he get what he needs from a woman as dirty as yourself, though, it doesn’t stop him from thinking about it and how your voice sounds when you were actively trying to fuck his dad.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“You’re disgusting.” Jake narrows his eyes at you when you pass by, spitting the words at you with a grimace.

“Excuse me?” You ask, stopping in your tracks and looking back at him just as harshly. You didn’t provoke him to speak to you at all, let alone fucking insult you?

“You think I can’t hear the way you speak to my dad during your little “confessions”?” He takes a step forward as he whispers at you, air quoting the word confession with a roll of his eyes.. “You really think he’s just going to take you up on the offer?”

Narrowing your own eyes, you step closer to Jake to stop anyone else from hearing his little tantrum.

“Wanna tell me why he always listens to my “confessions” then?” You question back, mimicking the air quotes and smirking as you walk away from him, not even letting him answer.

Jake watches as you leave, upset that he didn’t get a rise out of you at all and instead was offered a genuine question that sits in his mind. Why does his father allow you to make a confession after confession if all it is, is an attempt to seduce him? You’re even ashamed of it, it seems, and it pisses him off to no end.

Rushing after you, he is quick to grab at your dress and pull you back.

“Might as well just show up naked with the way you act around here,” He starts with a bite in his tone, dragging you off, down the hall and into a side room that usually remains empty.

He intends to put a stop to this because he’s heard several more of your confessions by his own will and learns that, apparently, your only sin is being a fucking slut.

“You have no place here.” He adds as he closes the door behind the two of you. Unintentionally locking you into a space that he’s directly saying you don’t belong in.

“Acting like you don’t think about fucking. Hah. We both know I’m not the only one,” You laugh, walking across the room with a shrug. It’s not the first time you’ve been reprimanded in a church, and it probably won’t be the last. “Besides, your dad probably thinks about me late at night after tucking your grown ass into bed like a child.”

Jake narrows his eyes even more at you.

“Bet that pisses you off.”

“You’re ridiculous to think he would even want someone like you.” Jake scoffs harshly at you, gut bubbling with annoyance. “To think about sex this often too? I can’t imagine anyone would want to touch such a slut.”

You watch him walk towards you, with his perfectly tucked shirt and his darkened and angry eyes. Being alone with him doesn’t help his argument though because, in all fairness, he’s just as hot, if not hotter than his father.

“What about you then?” You ask, leaning against one of the shelves in the room, running your hand up your legs, and hiking your dress up a couple of inches.

“Your dad with his lingering eyes won’t admit to having ever touched a woman. Yet here you are.” You call out the priest’s lie with a snide chuckle before continuing. Fingers massaging your own fleshy thighs, watching the way Jake struggles with his own lingering eyes. “What about you? You ever fuck anyone?”

Jake grimaces, wrinkling his nose as he watches you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He questions, stomping over to you and pushing your dress back down below your knees.

“Oh!” You laugh, ticking your tongue at him and tilting your head. “You said a bad word. Aren’t you going to ask for forgiveness?”

He stares at you for a few seconds, being face to face with a woman that seems so desperate for any touch has his heart racing. He’s trying to call you out, not turn you on.

“Can’t you act decent? I barely know you and you’re flaunting yourself at me.” Jake bellows, stumbling back from you and examining the way your body is relaxed.

You really seem to be enjoying this.

“You’re the one who pulled me in here. Was it really to argue with me, or were you trying to get to me before Father does?”

Thinking for a moment, Jake realizes he’s the reason this is happening. He could have just let you leave like everyone else, after all, you were attempting to go home. Here he is though, and there you are.

“He would never.” Jake laughs, mocking your attempts to pretend his father would be interested in you.

“And again, what about you?” You shoot back instantaneously, watching the way his words get caught in his throat.

He’s a weak man, truly, because the very thought of what’s under your dress, the very idea that you’re so willing, fogs his brain to the point of almost malfunctioning. It would be so fucking easy if he wanted to.

No one would even know.

Before you even know it, you can feel the air in the room change as he storms closer to you and rips your dress upwards to your waist. Instantly, he’s shoving his hand straight between your legs.

A small yelp leaves your throat followed by a laugh. Perfect.

“I knew it.” You giggle, bumping your head a bit against the shelf at the force of his movement. You can feel the way his palm cups your core and presses in harshly through his silent breaths. “I fucking knew you were dirty.”

“Stop,” Jake demands, bringing his other hand to cover your mouth. “Stop talking.” He continues, already pulling his hand from your core and second-guessing himself.

“If you want it so bad, I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up.”

You nod with a smile against his palm, breathing in when he pulls it back and trusts your ability to stay quiet. He’s staring directly into your eyes as if he’s threatening you. As if he will stop if you make a single peep. A promise that he will probably get you banned from the church if anyone were to find out what’s happening in this room right now. At his darkened gaze, you poke your tongue out, licking his palm and watching him pull back in aroused shock at how unashamed you are regarding your arousal. But, you do stay true to your work and remain quiet once his eyes trail down.

He looks at you as if you’re some sort of monstrous entity, and for him at this moment, you probably are. But even with that, you see what’s growing in his pants before he lowers himself onto the floor. Positioning his face right in front of your clothed pussy.

What a dirty, dirty boy.

Jake can see the wet stain of your panties and all he can do is roll his eyes.

“You’re insane.” He laughs, eyes darting up to your face, looking at you like he wants to shame you. “Getting so messy in such a place, all for men who don’t fucking want you?”

You nod, wiggling your hips at him in an attempt to entice his lips to attach there. But he doesn’t. He just stands right back up to his feet and takes a step backwards.

“I bet if I left you here, you’d chase after me.” He mocks. “I bet you think I’m gonna stick it in you, don’t you?”

Proudly, you smile with a nod. Of course he's going to stick it in. You can see how hard he’s gotten. Sin or not, you know when a man wants to fuck you. Jake won’t be able to resist sooner or later, son of the priest or not.

“Wow,” He laughs quietly, shaking his head at you as he reaches behind a podium and pulls out a large, lacquered wooden cross. “You really are stupid.”

Great, you think as your face falls. He’s definitely about to start preaching to you with that stupid fucking cross. Maybe he will even attempt to perform an exorcism to expel the horny demons out of you.

“Oh, please.” You roll your eyes, standing yourself up straight from against the shelf and patting your dress back down into position. “Don’t start this shit.” You’re already preparing to walk out without looking twice at him, but he laughs right back at you.

“You think you know everything.” He chuckles, walking towards the door and locking it. He stands in front of it now, crossing his arms and staring at you.

“Don’t I?” You ask, eyeing the way he presents himself to you right now.

“Did I not just imply that I wouldn’t use my cock on you?” He questions, twitching in his pants at the way you stand before him, much smaller in energy now.

He can tell you’re still trying to act brave, and it delights him to see the realization spread across that pretty, silent mouth.

Oh. Oh.

“You’re going to–?” You swallow hard, realizing that of all the sins you could commit, the implication of being penetrated with a cross, solely so this man doesn’t have to fuck a whore isn’t one you ever thought of.

This room doesn’t even feel like part of a church now as he holds the cross with more reason than praying.

“Yeah,” He assures you. “I am.” Stepping forward toward you and looming down at your face. “Now get on the desk.”

You don’t know why, but your body acts on instinct for him. Immediately walking to the desk and propping yourself onto it.

“Take off your clothes.” He demands again, watching you intently as he stays in place, rubbing the long end of the cross much like he’d like to do for himself right now.

God, watching such a stubborn woman do everything he says is…well, it’s new for him and it ignites a new type of arousal within him.

And you watch him back as you begin to slip your dress from your shoulders, lifting your ass so that you can push it down and onto the floor.

“Oh, now you wanna act shy?” He mocks, walking towards you as you attempt to tug at your panties. “And keep those on. No one wants to see that.”

Goddamn, you don’t even have the decency to wear a bra to service? Lucky for him though, your breasts are enough to drive him past the point of return. There’s no thought, fear, or prayer in his head right now as you reveal yourself to him. Going as far as trying to flash your pussy? Oh, he could laugh.

You stay quiet, doing as you’re told and watching the way he examines you. He must feel so in control right now and you’re happy to let him, but you can see him falling apart behind his eyes.

His cock is incredibly obvious beneath his nice dress pants, but you wouldn’t dare reach out to touch him, not yet at least. You’ll let him have his fun, despite the slight nervousness within you regarding that cross.

“Open your mouth.” He says, dragging the cross against your nipples and onto your chin. “Suck it.”

You almost shake your head at him. Such a hard wood sliding down your throat would surely hurt. It’ll bruise, it’ll fucking suffocate you.

Jake doesn’t seem to care about any of that though, because all he does in response to your widened and fear-stricken eyes is press the wood against your lips with a face of concentration.

You purse your lips, muffling a displeased grunt at his acts.

“You scared?” He smiles first, pulling the cross away and now tracing his fingers along your lips before prying them inside and hooking your mouth open. “Come on, don’t act like you don’t know how to suck.”

You relent this time, feeling the cold and smooth tip of the cross enter past your lips when he resumes his previous assault. It’s not that you are against doing it, you just…haven’t done it before.

You’re not exactly sure of how to respect a holy relic such as this one when you’re expected to choke on it.

“That’s it.” Jake coos, pressing the cross further into your mouth. “Open up real wide.”

You close your eyes at his voice, licking the smoothed object with an intensity you didn’t know you had. After all, it’s been so long since you’ve been intimate with a person, hence the constant wet dreams about your priest. This is somehow, incredibly hot to you. To have his son fucking your mouth, regardless of what object he’s using to do it.

Still, it does hurt. The intricate edges of the cross bruises each time it hits the clenching walls of your throat and mouth, but Jake seems to like the sound of you choking and sobbing around it. After all, he just continues to press the cross further and further in. Probably relishing in the way you try to swallow around it and relax your throat.

His eyes are so focused, seeing how much of it you can take and only imagining how good it would feel if it were his cock choking you right now. Despite your sputtering and crying eyes, you’re taking it so well.

Yeah, you’ve definitely done this before. Probably swallowed up some guy’s cum and begged for more despite still having a cock wedged in your throat. How lucky for them to have someone so desperate to be gagged.

“You’re filthy for doing this, you know that?” He laughs at your pain and how you don’t try to pull at his pushing hand, tipping the cross just a bit so that its hardened wood hits your throat in a way that hurts a bit too much.

You cough around it, only now pushing his hand back in protest. The tears are pouring from your eyes when the cross slides out of your mouth, and all you can do is blink up at him as you try to regain your breath.

Half expecting him to immediately hold your head in place just to shove the cross back in, Jake pulls back instead, tilting his head down to look at your panties.

Your legs instinctively cross to hide your arousal, but he prys your legs open regardless, forcing you to act as the whore you so wanted to be. For his father, for him, for anyone who would be willing, honestly.

You’ve gotten wetter.

“You’re so gross, I can’t believe you get off to this–” He laughs, feeling his cock begin to fucking ache. “You can take more, then.”

No, no. You don’t want to keep sucking it, but your mouth opens anyway. Too turned on by the idea of seeing Jake’s reaction to watching you be so dirty, so blasphemous.

The way he moans when you open your mouth willingly this time is…well, he looks fucking good. He sounds even better.

You take it into your mouth without so much as a second thought this time, allowing him to slide the cross back and forth against your tongue and into your throat. You willingly swallow around the harsh edges, tears falling all the while, of course.

You’re gagging so softly around it, he’s almost jealous over how you wanted his dad before you wanted him. Surely no one would do this for you, right? His father would never be with such a horny, needy, and dirty woman.

Jake though….shamefully, is very into it.

Into you, rather.

When he pulls it out this time, your saliva coats the cross in a way that nearly breaks his brain. Intensely, he stares at your lips, slack and waiting for him to continue his abuse. God, he’s so jealous. To think you would do this with someone else? With anyone? Anything?

It turns him on beyond belief, but feeling jealous of the fucking cross isn’t exactly something Jake wants to admit. His father? Sure, whatever. But a relic he’s prayed to his whole life? Growing resentful of it just because you take it down your pretty and bruised throat?

No.

Jake shifts now, unable to satiate the arousal within him without grabbing your hand and forcing you to grope his hidden cock. So hard, so fucking hard, he nearly lets out his own sob at the euphoric touch when he actually does it.

You’re a bit shocked that he’s letting you touch him, but you take the opportunity and run with it. You press your palm against him without any amount of shame, and all you can do is watch as he hangs his head, the saliva coated cross still gripped in his other hand.

“Bet you wanted to fuck my mouth.” You croak out, your voice sounding just as raw at your throat. “Bet you wanted me to take all of it and beg for your cum.”

His head shoots up in response to that as he grabs your face harshly, bucking against your hand at the same time. “Stop talking.” He seethes, releasing your face and inserting his fingers into your mouth instead. “Stick your tongue out.”

You do as he says, feeling his heavy cock twitching against your palm with each press.

Jake seems like an expert at this, you aren’t sure, but when he presses your tongue down with his fingers to open your throat up, he spits into your mouth so easily that you have no choice but to swallow it.

Well, okay. He could probably get away with doing that a few more times if he wanted to.

You moan when you swallow, lending him a dopey smile that shocks him. You weren’t supposed to like that in his eyes, but when you grab his cock in response rather than just palm at it, he can’t help but moan back at you.

His fingers continue to hold your tongue down as you jerk him off over his pants, and his hips stutter all the while until he loses all composure. Within a second, he stalks even closer, slamming both hands against the desk on either side of you and leaning forward to pin you there.

And then he grinds forward against your weak hand, pinned between him and the edge of the desk.

Yet still, he’s gripping that fucking cross as he pins you here.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, I can see it.” He croaks, not even allowing you to offer him a nod before he’s got his lips attached to yours and he’s licking into your mouth. It feels impossibly better than that cross pressing against the back of your throat but you swallow his kiss just as easily.

His hips continue to grind as he licks into your mouth like a man who doesn’t know how to kiss at all. So rough and messy with it, groaning more and more before he’s nearly a panting mess before you. He pulls back from the kiss only for a moment to stare at you, eye contact more fierce than it was before.

“I think you’re the one who wants to fuck me.” You manage to slip out before he can silence you again, and his eyes narrow instantly.

More than anything, that’s what he wants to do to you. He wants to shut you up in as many ways possible right now, and he definitely wants fucking you to be one of those ways. But he can’t, and he won't.

“Hah–you’d love that.” He laughs, reaching his empty hand between the two of you to press his pants down enough to let his cock spring free.

You can’t even get a good look at it, because he’s instantly grabbing himself and fucking his fist before looking back up at you.

“Go on, look.” He says, leaning a bit so that you can watch him jerk off in full view now. “Bet you’d beg for it if I told you to.”

“Please?” You instantly let out, eyes staring at the angry head of his cock leaking and pulsing.

“I didn’t say to actually beg–” He groans, halting his hand and instead, thrusting his hips into the tightly formed hole he’s created. “I’m not going to fuck you.” He laughs again, now pulling the cross back and into your view with a wicked smirk.

Of course. The cross. Well, at least you’re going to be fucked with something right?

You eye the piece of wood and then go back to watching him. You’re not sure what it is about this situation but it feels like your body is on fire. Maybe it’s because hell is right beneath you, just a floorboard away from what the two of you have gotten yourselves into behind this locked door.

“Oh?” He halts his hips and licks his lips. “You actually want me to fuck you with this?”

You nod frantically, spreading your legs in front of him and showing off how large the spot on your panties has grown since he last inspected it. You watch as his eyes practically burn a hole through your pussy.

Only then does he release his own cock and look back into your eyes. More seriously this time when reality and guilt clicks in his head.

“You are aware of what we are about to do, right?” His confidence falters blatantly as he glances at the cross. “Like, if you ever tell my dad about this, I will be disowned.”

“You think I’d snitch on you?” You roll your eyes, body nearly shaking to get fucked. God, why does he have to stop now?

“Well, since you’re so inclined to confess every fucking day–”

“Jake, you literally just fucked my throat with it.” You deadpan, hooking your legs around him to pull him close enough to feel his cock hit your wet panties. “You’re the dirtiest one here, I’m not going to give that up just to see you get disowned.”

He laughs at you for that. Because yeah, maybe he is. Maybe he’s the one who shouldn’t be in church, and maybe he’s the one who should have been confessing this whole time. Never in his life has he ever done this, or so much as imagined doing it, it’s so perverse. So, wrong. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what’s attractive about it.

For some reason, his cock jumps when you say you’re not giving him up because he’s dirty.

“And–” You soften your voice, trying to lure him. “You don’t have to use the cross, you know.”

“No.” He barks out, pulling his hips back and pressing the cross against you instead. “Now, keep your legs open.”

He gets right back into it without a second thought. He doesn’t care what he’s doing or what the repercussions of doing this will be. It’s not like he wasn’t going to hell before any of this, not based on the fantasies he’s had anyway.

Jake hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down your legs harshly, to the point that they’re stretching so far that it feels like they could cut through your skin. He backs away for a moment upon seeing you grimace at that, allowing you to slip them down your legs before positioning himself back between them.

“I’m dirty?” He says, looking at your pussy and the way it clenches around absolutely nothing. He sees the slick seeping out of you already, and it’s not only pathetic but so fucking desperate of you. “Fucking look at that.”

You smile at it, knowing that he’s degrading you but absolutely loving the view if his focused eyes are anything to go by.

Before the cross, he experimentally traces his fingers along your folds until he gets to your hole, and without hesitation, he slips one of them in. The grip of your walls alone could probably send him over the edge if he were to make a last-minute change and shove his cock into you, but he holds back. Instead, he traces the cross against you in the same way he did with his fingers, slowly inserting it alongside his digit.

Pulling back, Jake watches your face as the cross opens you up, probably dragging against your walls uncomfortably as a reminder of the ultimate sin you’re committing with him right now.

When your face doesn’t contort into that of pain, he pulls his finger out of you and places his hand back on his cock. Still staring at your face, he fucks the cross in and out of you. Relishing in the sound of how wet you are for this, and for him to give it to you.

He does this until, finally, you moan.

Upon that little whimper of a moan, Jake is sent into a different headspace. One that quickens his pace with the object inside of you, one that tightens the grip on himself.

Now, oh now, he’s playing for fun. He presses it in and then pulls it all the way out just to see your pussy beg for more. Holding back a moan over how fucking hot it is to see, he opts to coo out at you.

“Bet it would feel so good.” He breathes, trying to ignore the shiver that shoots through his body at the way you yearn for it. “Could shove my cock right in, you’d just take it, wouldn’t you?”

Before you can answer, he’s thrusting the relic right back into you. In, out, in, out. Deeper, harder, fucking faster. And he offers the same for himself, tightening his fist, nearly abusing his own cock at the sight of your swollen hole swallow up the wood. Really, he makes a point to fuck himself just to imagine it’s you that’s squeezing him.

If he thinks hard enough, it really is almost like he’s the one fucking you.

He keeps this up for a few minutes, up until your legs are shaking around him and you begin to reach out with your hands. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s incredibly fucking horny right now, he’d probably be rushing for the altar to save you from whatever demon is possessing you.

But, he knows that this is no demon, this is all his own doing. He’s loving it. Every single bit of this situation is being burned into his memory, and when your legs shake, it only urges him to fuck the object into you harder.

You whimper out strings of nonsense, almost begging for a release from this grasp he is holding over you both physically and mentally, but he doesn’t relent. Your pathetic cunt is being pounded by an object that should have you crying in fear, but instead, you’re so close to release you can only beg for more, more, fucking more.

And god, he keeps giving it to you.

In an attempt to open your eyes, you feel dizzy with lust. Your hips buck up against the object with intent, and you can’t stop watching him.

“Goddamn.” Jake stutters a sin, watching you fuck yourself against the holy relic. Thankful to rest his arm and be able to just…watch.

And oh, he’s watching and intensely imagining that it’s you on him. He can’t stop thinking about how fucking warm you must be, how tight, how sinfully delicious your pussy must be for you to be acting like this. And that thought is what forces him to lose it.

You were so focused, on the verge of your orgasm when you feel him practically tear the cross out of you, dropping it to the floor before – oh fuck.

You feel him. Something bigger, something thicker ramming into you. He’s prying you open more than he did previously, already pumping in and out at a frantic speed. Instantly, you cling onto him with a bruising grip, listening to his shameless moans as he realizes the lack of control he has over his own body or thoughts.

Jake practically falls over you in euphoria as you cling, forcing you to fall back against the desk as he relentlessly plunges his hips. His breath is heavy against your neck as he loses himself, and all you can do is thank the same god you just disrespected for this cock that’s abusing your hole in all of the right ways.

“I can’t–” He groans out against your ear, his hips not stopping their relentless assault. “You’re so fucking dirty.” He insults, pushing you up the desk with each thrust. “So good.”

You can barely make a sound from the force behind his hips, only small yelps leaving your throat each time he slams in. And fuck, you want nothing more than to rub your clit right now. You could cum all over him, you could really make him feel good.

And as if your prayers are answered, Jake apparently knows exactly how to pleasure a woman. Hm, curious. He knows how to do it fucking well too, as you feel his fingers rub against the swollen nub in the exact same way you would right now. Painful, intense.

The fact that he wants you to cum is delicious.

Your orgasm hits you almost instantly, pussy sucking in him each time he goes to thrust, and the sounds coming from your throat could be considered demonic by some, but he swallows them up with ease when he notes that you’re cumming all over him.

Jake licks into your mouth, soothing you with dirty words when he pulls back to breathe.

“You should see yourself–” He pants out, sticking his tongue out to lick against your lip. “Getting me all messy too?” He says again through a moan. “You’re beautiful.” He adds like a period at the end of a sentence.

That alone makes you feel…different. In fact, it prolongs your orgasm far past sensitivity when he continues to thrust into you. You can’t tell if he said that because he’s close, or if it’s because he meant it.

Quite frankly, you could give less of a fuck if he meant it.

Jake stutters his hips when you lift your head just slightly, gripping his hair and skewing his head to the side so that you can whisper into his ear.

“Want me to beg for your cum?” You whisper with a shaking voice. “You’d love that too, wouldn’t you? I know I would.”

His eyes squeeze shut as he aggressively turns his head and, once again, pries your mouth open with his tongue. A bruising kiss follows as he fucks his last few thrusts into you, doing just as you implied he should.

He pumps his cum into you relentlessly, thankful that it’s not all over his pants and entirely milked into that sinful cunt of yours. Thankful that you also got off around him instead of that forgotten cross on the floor.

He wants nothing more than to remind you time and time again who got to you first. It was him, not his father.

You smile at him when he pulls back out of breath, examining his pants before stuffing his sensitive cock back into them and reaching down for the cross.

“If you ever fucking tell my dad about this–” He seethes out of breath, trying to pretend that he can regain composure so soon after fucking you the way he just did. Still, he narrows his eyes at you much as he had done before.

“Go on.” You say, voice shaking as you try to grasp back onto reality from whatever world his cock had sent you into.

Jake is at a loss for words, because, what could he possibly do about it if you were to tell? He looks at you, still spread out against the desk, dress crumpled, his cum seeping out of you in a messy show of how much of an absolute whore he forced you to be.

“Just, don’t tell him.” He finally says, averting his eyes from you and looking at the cross in his hand.

“Do you feel bad already?” You ask out, finally lifting to get off of the desk.

“Don’t you?”

You shake your head, struggling to stand as the seething pain of having a wooden cross stuck into you shoots through your body. “Not really.” You try to laugh, but you wince instead.

“Yeah, I figured you’d probably be hurting after all of that.” He finally says in a somewhat apologetic tone, walking up to you with a soothing hand.

You’re a little shocked by his kindness.

“Yeah, a little.” You laugh it off though because, at the moment, it felt good. You wouldn’t have wanted it any other way despite how blasphemous the act was.

“Oh.” Jake seems sorrowful in his tone, but his gaze doesn't leave you. “I- um, I don’t know how to make it like, not hurt?” He scratches the back of his head.

In your attempt to put your dress back on, you do note that the pain inside of you isn’t unfamiliar. You’d been fucked hard before, but that was a long time ago. You missed this feeling, realizing that it was exactly what you think you needed.

“It’ll pass.” You assure him, taking a deep breath and trying to stumble your way to the door. “I guess I’ll see you later, then?”

Jake dips his head with a small nod, feeling guilty for what he’s done. Not because of the cross, not because of the sin, but because he’s unsure of how to pretend like he wouldn’t want to do it again.

#enhypen smut #sim jaeyun smut #jake sim smut #jake smut #enhypen hard hours #enha smut

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orikiys · 9 months

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✿ ✿ 〞voicemails with chan after an argument

✰ genre : angst, romance and fluff in between

✰ pairings : bf!chan x fem!reader

✰ word count : 0.8k+ words

one 𖨂

hey, my beautiful girl. how are you? it’s not the same without you by my side. the house looks wrecked and so am i. i am so so sorry baby for snapping at you last night. i. . . didn’t mean it. i swear. it all happened because of me and my work, and i do accept that. just come back please? i know you’re at your friend’s house but i won’t force you. ever. i just hope we can talk this out thoroughly. please? i love you very much. always know that, yeah? and i’m only a call away if you need me. good night.

two 𖨂

so i didn’t receive an answer back. does that mean you’re going to stay there for a while? alright, i respect your decisions. i always do. you know that right? anyway, today sucked. i kind of twisted my ankle while practising and i tripped over a charger and hurt my chin. it sounds painful but it was even more painful when you don’t reply to my messages, or to my calls and even my voicemails. i fucked up and i know that very well. i may sound selfish but i want you with me. i need you when i wake up and when i sleep. i want to see your face when you smile at me. how long has it been since i last saw you? over 2 weeks i suppose? if you’re listening to my voicemails, let’s meet tomorrow at our usual spot. at 3 i’ll be there. i’ll wait for you even if it takes forever.

three 𖨂

you eventually did show up. to be honest, i was surprised. i didn’t expect you to show up. but i’m glad you did. but i’m not very glad that you almost didn’t speak any other words except for ‘i need time’ and ‘alright’. it was pretty sad. then i realised how bad i must’ve hurt you for you to act this way. and i’ll say sorry a million times if you want me to. i regret ever letting you walk away like that. if only i had tried harder in our relationship we wouldn’t be at this stage where we’re unaware whether we’re together or not. i regret not understanding you earlier and spending my days at the company, rather than with you. i even started taking time out to come home early, at 8. just like you wanted. i even began sleeping on time, but i can’t help myself to fall asleep that easily without thinking how lonely you used to feel when i wasn’t here to hold you or to even talk to you. i regret everything, baby. i really do. i hope you’re happy, not skipping your meals and sleeping for good hours.

four 𖨂

i noticed something fall out of your wardrobe, and even though i respect your privacy, i couldn’t help myself. it was a letter. a letter presumably you wanted to give me, but you couldn’t. and it would be a lie if said i didn’t sit on the floor crying as i read the letter over and over till i had it memorised. you always wanted to write me letters didn’t you? what more do you have up your sleeve? how long are you going to keep impressing me and making my heart flutter like that? you might think i’m being a little too extra today, but it’s true! you can’t just go away after making me fall that deep for you. it’s been three weeks now. how long am i going to be punished? just answer me once. please.

five 𖨂

when i tell you i almost fell off the couch, you won’t believe me. but i almost didn’t believe my eyes when i saw your voicemail. why would you ever be sorry baby? you have all the right to be angry at me. i deserve it. but don’t think you did anything wrong. you just did what you thought was right. and sometimes, it’s better that way you know? like if you wouldn’t have gone away i would just return to my schedule again. i wouldn’t have realised where i was wrong. so don’t blame yourself, okay? as i said before, i’ll wait.

six 𖨂

so this is gonna be the end of all the angsty voicemails as you just called me saying you’ll be coming home tonight. i’ll prepare a welcome dinner for you along with some kisses if you would like. and hugs too perhaps? i am just on my way to clean the house and myself too. since i didn’t shower today, so i’ll see you in about 8 hours. i’m very happy that you’re coming back babe. i love you so much. and i, thank you, for giving me a second chance. i’ll be waiting for you, my love.

#ॱଳ͘#chan x reader #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz angst #bang chan x reader #bang chan #stray kids #chan angst #voicemails with chan #chan x you #skz x reader #skz fanfic

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msbluebell · 5 months

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How We Fall For People Like James Somerton

We're all joking, but this James Somerton thing has me really fucked up.

I wasn't a huge fan of James. I saw a few of his videos and liked them. In the ones I saw he was calm and explained things straightforwardly and even the one or two times he said things against white women...well, that's language I've been seeing on Tumblr since I joined back in my tweenage years. I thought it was just a dismissive joke pointing out a frank reality.

I didn't watch him too much. Just a few videos. I kept meaning to watch more, but I didn't because sometimes I wanted something easier. But I regarded him sell because of how informed he seemed.

And that's the thing, isn't it? He SEEMED informed. He spoke confidently and sometimes quoted queer sounding articles and I trusted him blindly. And why? Because he was giving me information that SEEMED well researched.

Illumanaughtii too. I WAS a consistent fan of hers before other youtubers came out. Because she presented information really well and I like hand drawn characters and because she read academic sounding quotes. I trusted her and her information was stollen. And I feel like a fool for ever having trusted her now, but at least her stollen facts were apparently accurate. Maybe.

James though, he straight up lied. Todd in the Shadows went through a lot of effort to expose those lies. He did so much research that I didn't bother to do. And he admitted he only did it because he happened to know people more informed than him that noticed the lies and went down a rabbit hole.

And maybe if I was more involved I would have noticed. But that's beside the point. what's getting me is I didn't bother to check myself, I just blindly trusted.

And the worst part is I can see why it happened.

I work.

I work, and then I get home, and when I get home I stress. I stress about work I have to do tomorrow, or classes, or finding a new job that actually pays a livable wage. And to escape that stress I go online to AO3, or tumblr, but especially Youtube.

Because I like youtube, I like to have noise in the background while I work. I like to listen to things while I read. And some of the time it's ASMR videos, or watching someone cook something. But mostly? It's history things or video essays.

And when I'm working, or reading, I'll hear a fact, and I'll look up, and I'll think "Huh, that's interesting to know, I didn't know that." And I won't think anything about it.

Because I'm busy, or I'm tired. I'm tired from work, and I don't want to do more work. Or sometimes it's mental health. This is my coping mechanism. I'm trying to learn things, do something to distract myself. I'm not looking to disprove things.

In other words I'm lazy. Or, if I'm being kind to myself, I'm tired.

Maybe if the topic was something I was an expert in I would have noticed. I'm a former ballerina, I'm a failed history major dropout. Maybe if he'd said something like "Holodomor never happened" or "Boudica is a Finnish folk hero" I'd have noticed. Maybe.

But he didn't, and I didn't notice. I assumed he did the work, and why?

Because surely a gay man wouldn't spend hours on youtube talking about Queer history if he wasn't passionate. Because he, a queer man, would surely know about queer history. Surely he wouldn't want to spread lies and hate. And he's quoting from books and articles so why wouldn't I trust him?

My trust was blind and unfounded.

And now I'm reeling from that. I'm reeling because I'm starting to feel like I can't trust a lot of people. How can I listen to any Youtuber casually now?

I can't, I never should have assumed I could.

Now every informative video feels like I need to do tens of hours of research just to be sure what I'm hearing is true. I feel like I can't trust anything unless I do.

James Somerton took my trust.

And it's not only that either. That's not what scares me the most. It's that there are THOUSANDS of people like me. Millions like me. Who are learning something from a video or a tweet or a tumblr post from someone they assume is an expert and are blindly trusting because they assume they can trust it. They don't intend to do their own research because they're tired, or don't know how. And that scars me. I was a history major, I studied tyrants and misinformation and the rise of propaganda, and I, with all my tools to notice, was still blind.

You cannot blindly trust a video, you cannot blindly trust a tweet, you especially cannot blindly trust a tumblr post.

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPOGANDA

#hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #james somerton #plagerism #misinformation

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annie115 · 18 days

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All of me for you (CL16)

Summary: They came from two completely different worlds, but their hearts spoke the same language.

A/n: This is probably the darkest shit I´ve ever written, but don´t worry it ends well :) It´s also sooooo long sorry for that but I really enjoyed writing it!! Before you start reading, please read the warnings!!! If you feel uncomfortable with any of those, please don’t read.

Let me know what you think!

Also, Charlotte´s kind of a bitch here so don’t forget this is completely fictional!!! Also English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes

TW: 18+, mentions of smut, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of drug abuse (not reader), mentions of death (Charles dad), using of y/n

Word count: 7,700

Masterlist

She´s been working for Ferrari since the start of the season. It was her one shot, her one opportunity to get out of the life her parents had given to her.

She grew up in one of the most dangerous districts of Frankfurt, Germany. A place where nobody had a future, a place where no child had even the hope of dreaming for a better life. Her mother got pregnant from one of her customers, one who couldn’t care less about the twins she gave birth to. Her mother could’ve never afforded any kind of birth control, so she had to trust in condoms. It usually worked, besides this one time. As you know, one time can be enough.

She gave birth to a boy and a girl, both as pretty as could be. Big, green eyes and black hair, faces with visible bone structures. They became inseparable, not moving from each other’s sides. She was always the tough one, the one who made her name count on the streets she grew up on. She was just a girl, but nobody dared to mess up with her. She had everything under control, worked two jobs to be able to afford at least food and the rent for the apartment they shared with their mother. Well, that was when she grew older. Her childhood was nothing to speak of. No child should grow up on the street, begging for money or food. No mother should ask her five year old daughter to go to the bank district, just to ask some business men for money. But we won´t speak of that.

Every child in Germany had to go school, so she and her brother did as well. They got in trouble regularly but managed to graduate somehow after the tenth grade. She was smart, always good in speaking different languages. German, English and Italian were easy for her. Her brother spoke a bit of English, mostly German.

When she turned 15, she got her first job. Waiting in a restaurant wasn’t the best job for a teenage girl, but she needed the money and the tips were amazing. It was the first time in her life where she managed to have enough money, she was even able to afford some new clothes and make up.

When she turned 16, her brother made new friends. She immediately knew that they weren’t good for him, but he wouldn’t listen. It started with weed, smoked in the dark corners of the ghetto. It continued with pills, mushrooms, sometimes acid, until he tried heroin for the first time. Heroin is never a one time thing. It escalated quickly and before he was able to steal y/n´s money, she rather gave it to him. She tried to get him away from the drugs, she really did. Methadone therapy, real therapy, nothing helped because he simply couldn’t get out of his friends group. He relapsed every time. He got weaker from time to time, the drugs destroying his mind and his body. She got used to buy the drugs for him, to keep them for him and to give them to him when he wasn’t in the state to do it. It quickly turned out that one job could never be enough to cover the costs of her brother´s drug abuse, the rent and food, so she got a second job. Her boss in the little Italian restaurant she used to work in, offered her to work in his second location also, just on the weekends. So she did. From Monday to Friday, she would work in the restaurant, Saturday and Sunday were reserved for her working at the bar.

Life seemed to get a little better when she met him, Oliver. Her first real boyfriend. He was a little bit older than her, black hair, beautiful ice-blue eyes. Italian. She met him at work, he made her fall in love quickly. He promised her the stars from the sky, walked her home, bought her presents, was the most caring boyfriend you could imagine. That was until he wanted more. Sex was always a difficult topic for y/n, simply because of her mother. Y/n never wanted to be used just for sex, she wanted it to be with somebody who truly loved her. Something inside of her told her, that Oliver wasn’t the right guy. So she declined, every time he asked or made a move. But he was manipulative, managed to get her to do it. He invited her to his place, roses and candles everywhere and she started to think that it would be good. That it would be the way she always imagined it to be. He started gently. Kissing her, caressing her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Their first time was good, y/n was glad that she did it and that he was so gentle. The second time, was different. He wanted to be more in charge, having control over her body. She wasn’t a big fan of this, but didn’t protest. He was on top of her, buried deep inside of her when he lit a cigarette. She frowned, asking him not to smoke while they were having sex. He scoffed, telling her to shut up which she didn’t do. “You want me to put it out?” he asked with a dirty grin and she nodded. So he put it out.

The marks will never leave the spot just below her hip. They don’t hurt anymore, it´s too long ago, but they will always be there, remind her of him. She never told anybody, broke up with Oliver and was surprised when he didn´t have anything against it. Her brother noticed that something had changed, sometimes having clear moments when he was in between injections. It was when she got out the shower, her pyjama pants too low on her waist when he saw the marks for the first time. Y/n didn’t want to know what he did to Oliver, the only thing she knew was that she didn’t have to worry about him anymore.

So she grew older, living in the same apartment as before with her brother and her mother, who they barely saw at all. She was working all night and sleeping all day, drinking in the meantime. Everybody knew her name in the ghetto, everybody knew who her brother was and she was somewhat in charge. She hated this life, but she loved her brother and would’ve done anything to protect him, as far as she could.

When she turned 21, her boss, the owner of the Italian restaurant, offered her a job. One of his friends was the head chef of the Scuderia Ferrari Hospitality and they were looking for a new waitress on the trackside. Y/n couldn’t believe it. This was her chance. But still, she had to say no. She couldn’t leave her brother alone, she was all he had left. But her brother disagreed. The second she told him about the job offer, he did everything to convince her to take the job. Luckily, he had found two guys in the city who he could trust, making it easier for y/n to leave. This was her opportunity for a better life and she had to take it.

So here she was. Working all over the world, for the best racing team ever. She made friends within her first week at work and she especially grew closer to some of the drivers, due to their age. Y/n was one of the younger workers on the team and the drivers liked to be with her. She was funny, always had an open ear for everybody and seemed to have everything under control, all the time. Everybody noticed that she was extraordinary pretty, but all of them agreed on one thing: they couldn’t quite get what it was about her. She was an open book when it came to her opinions and thoughts but she would never share personal experiences. Hell, nobody knew exactly where she came from, which y/n enjoyed a lot. She could be somebody in the world of Formula One, nobody knew her story and her flaws, it was a brand new start for her and she wouldn’t waste it. One driver had his eyes on her, specifically. Charles Leclerc, driver for Scuderia Ferrari.

Y/n knew how beautiful the driver was, even before she started to work for the team. When she got to know him, she noticed that he was also humble, funny, charming and his heart was made of gold. Unfortunately, he had a girlfriend. A beautiful girlfriend, who wasn’t very fond of the idea of Charles and y/n being friends. But they couldn’t help it. The connection the two of them had grew deep and none of them was able to understand why. They laughed together, over the most basic things in the world. They could always count on each other and they would stick together through thick and thin. They soon started to call each other best friends. Charles promised Charlotte, his girlfriend, that nothing has ever happened between him and y/n, and he said the truth. Y/n would never start something with a guy who´s taken, Charles could never cheat on his girlfriend, even when sometimes, his heart pounded for someone else..

It was Sunday, race day, almost 10pm. The race was long over, nobody being left in the paddock but a few workers. Charles was still there also, sitting in the big red motorhome. “Charlotte, please I need to talk to someone, I feel like a loser right now”, he said with a trembling voice, then sighed. “No, I understand. Have fun with your girls, bye”, he said before he hung up. He was sitting on the big red couch, letting the tears fall down on his face when he let out his emotions. This day has been a day to forget. He DNF´d after 6 laps in the race. It wasn’t his fault, just engine failure. Still, he needed to win this race. For him. He sobbed, not noticing that someone entered the room.

Y/n wanted to lock up all the rooms before going back to the hotel, when she noticed light coming from one of the rooms. She went in, to see her best friend sitting on the couch, crying. “Charlie”, she gasped and headed over to him, wrapping her arms around his body to pull him close. “Hey, what´s going on?” Of course she knew that he dnf´d, but he usually wouldn’t cry because of that. “I wanted to make him proud”, Charles sobbed, pressing his head against her shoulder. “Shh”, y/n cooed, pressing a kiss on his head. “He died five years ago from today and what did I earn since then? Nothing”, he rambled and y/n put his face in her hands to force him to look at her. “Charles, I want you to listen to me now”, she started. “Your father is the proudest man ever. You´ve achieved so much, driving for Ferrari, winning for Ferrari. Maybe not today, but you did win and you will continue winning. And it´s not only about your achievements in racing, is it? You are the most beautiful human being I have ever met. Your father can be so, so proud of who you´ve become.” She wiped a tear from his face, happy that no tears followed, before she went on. “I don’t know where your father is right now, but he and Jules are watching you every second, and they will tell anybody what a beautiful man you are, I know it”, she said and smiled at him, caressing his cheek with her thumb. “Do you really think so?” he asked and she nodded quickly. “I´ve never been more sure about anything”, she answered and he leaned his head against hers. “Let´s get out of here, have you eaten?” she asked and he shook his head. She stood up and reached out her hand for him to grab it. „Pizza and Harry Potter?“ she asked and his eyes glowed when he nodded.

„Why is it that your hotel rooms are always way more comfortable than mine?“ Charles asked and finished his last piece of pizza. „I actually have no idea what you mean. You always get the suites which are way nicer than my tiny rooms“, y/n answered and chuckled. „Mhm, I guess it’s just because of your company then“, he said and turned to look at her.

They were laying on their stomachs, head facing the TV on the wall. She laughed and didn’t look at him, knowing that she would lose herself in his blue-green eyes. She had this feelings for him for quite a while now, butterflies flying around in her stomach whenever he was around, a deep desire to explore his lips with hers whenever he opened his mouth. But she couldn’t. Not because he didn’t return her feelings, actually she was pretty sure that he felt the same way. But he had a girlfriend. She didn’t know why he didn’t break up with her but it was for the best. She wasn’t the right girl for him. Charlotte was. She grew up in a health family, never had to face hunger or drug problems. Ferrari‘s golden boy and some broke ass waitress from the ghetto? No way this would work out. She got pulled out of her thoughts when he talked again.

„Thank you, y/n“, he whispered and she smiled. „Anytime, Charlie“, she returned and noticed that he didn’t stop looking at her. „Why is it that you‘re always there for me while my girlfriend is out drinking with her friends?“ he asked and y/n sighed. She didn’t have an answer. She didn’t understand Charlotte, didn’t like her much also. Still, she wasn’t the one to talk bad about one’s girlfriend. „I don’t know Charles, but I’ll try to always be there, I promise“, she answered and tried to focus on the movie again. Not for long, though. He placed two fingers on her cheek and turned her face so she would look at him. Their eyes locked immediately and green met blue. For a second her eyes flickered to his lips, who were slightly parted. She licked over her own, unconsciously, but it was enough for him to go crazy. He leaned forward, his lips striping hers softly. Almost cautiously, as if she could disappear any second. Her lips started moving against his, but they knew it was wrong. They pulled back, already out of breath. „I should go“, Charles stated without opening his eyes, y/n just nodded.

They didn’t talk about it, ever, but Charlotte seemed to notice that something has changed in y/n´s and Charles relationship. They were still hanging out often, but not as much as before. At first she was happy, thinking that maybe they had a fight and weren’t friends anymore but she quickly realized that it was something else. She has never liked y/n, never liked how she always managed to get everyone’s attention. She didn’t know that this was the last thing y/n wanted. Charlotte got crazy over how less she knew about that girl who slowly stole her boyfriend, she didn’t know that Charles basically didn’t know anything, either.

“I´m just wondering why you spend so much of your time with somebody you barely know!” she yelled, hands over her head while Charles was standing in front of the mirror, styling his hair. “Charlotte, I know y/n better than anybody. She´s always there for me and I just enjoy being around her, as a friend.” Charlotte scoffed. “Always there for you. Are you still mad at me because I wasn’t there the other night? You knew that I was in Monaco with friends!” He sighed and turned to her, satisfied with his hair. “I had one of the worst days and you weren’t there. I don’t blame you for not being by my side, I blame you because you couldn’t even listen to me on the phone. We talked about that a hundred times now, I´m tired of discussing it again”, he stated. “Now, come on. The others are probably waiting already”, he said and the two of them made their way to the hotel lobby to meet the others before they had dinner together.

Charlotte was strolling through the garage during the first practice session, when the head hospitality coordinator headed towards her. “Charlotte! You´re a friend of y/n, aren’t you?” she asked and Charlotte nodded slowly, not sure what to answer to that. She didn’t have much time to think about it, since the woman in front of her just continued speaking. “Great! Listen, I really need y/n to sign those papers for her contract renewal, but I can´t find her anywhere and I really have to be somewhere! Could you give those to her? I can trust you with that right?” she asked, again not leaving her enough time to answer. She handed her a big envelope and rushed away. Charlotte frowned, but realized what she held in her hands. If this was y/n´s contract renewal, everything was inside right? Where she came from, maybe even family situations, what she did before, everything. She had to hide a mischievous grin before she walked away to Charles motorhome, knowing that she would be unbothered for at least half an hour.

She didn’t find out everything, but everything she needed to know. After searching her address on the internet she found out that y/n came from one of the worst areas in Germany. She had to put in an emergency contact and chose her mother, because who else could she have chose instead? Charlotte found out where her mother worked and also that y/n had contact with the police quite a few times. Nothing serious, since Ferrari would’ve never hired her otherwise, but serious enough so that y/n wouldn’t want anybody to find out. She also googled y/n´s full name and found out that she has a twin brother, who was involved in various drug crimes in the past few years. She found enough to make sure that y/n wouldn’t be a problem between her and Charles anymore.

“Y/n, do you have a moment?” Charlotte asked while y/n was pouring herself some coffee, since she was on her break. “Sure”, she mumbled and frowned not knowing what Charlotte possibly wanted from her. “Your boss wanted me to give you these”, Charlotte said and handed her the envelope. “Oh, thank you”, she said and frowned again. Before she could say anything, Charlotte headed away.

It was the evening after the race when everything escalated. Charles and Charlotte, Carlos and Rebecca, Max and Kelly and y/n were sitting in Max´s suite, just having some chats and drinks. They were talking about nothing really, when Charlotte turned the attention to y/n. “Oh my god, y/n I wanted to ask you how´s your brother?” Y/n froze and looked at her. “What? Why what happened to your brother?” Charles asked. He knew that you had a brother but nothing more. Without stopping to look at Charlotte, y/n answered. “Nothing important, really. He´s better”, she stated knowing that Charlotte wouldn’t stop now. “Really? Did he get therapy or something? I couldn’t imagine having a junkie as a brother, this must be so hard. Also that you had to deal with it for so many years and even had trouble with the police.. you´re very strong”. Her words dripped from sarcasm and y/n had to focus not to lose control. Of course she read everything that was in the envelope. She should’ve known. “Wait what´s going on? Charlotte why do you know all these things?” Charles asked. “Charlotte, stop. Now”, y/n said with a tone that gave everybody goosebumps. Charlotte swallowed, knowing that she didn’t want to mess with y/n, but she had a plan and she had to stick to it. “What do you mean? I thought she told you everything about her. Also about her mother and all that”, she continued and y/n pinched her thigh, hoping that this was all a bad dream.

She couldn’t look at Charles, knowing that she would see the betrayal in his eyes. Not only did she not say anything to him about her family, she lied to him. She told him that her mother was working in a grocery store and her brother was studying at the university to become a teacher. She told him that her dad was working in the bank district of Frankfurt, which may have been true, she didn’t know. “Y/n?” Charles asked but y/n looked at Charlotte. “I think couldn’t live with the fact that my mother was a prostitute”, she said as if she didn’t destroy y/n´s life. Nobody said a word, the whole situation extremely uncomfortable for everybody around. Charles stared at y/n, waiting for her to look at him to tell him that it wasn’t true. That she didn’t lie to him all this time.

She couldn’t. She stood up, grabbed her phone and left the room. She never had problems with conflicts, but she couldn’t look Charles in his beautiful blue eyes right now. She made her way to her room, tears blurring her vision. She didn’t know why she wanted to cry. Out of anger? Out of sadness? Probably everything at once. She knew that this was it. Even if Charlotte hasn’t told her boss everything she knew, even if she wasn’t fired, how could she ever talk to one of the guys again? Charles would never forgive her, she knew that. He hated nothing more than lying, he told her that within the first week after they´ve met. Also, Charlotte would tell anybody. If she stayed, everybody would know her situation by the end of next week. Her reputation would have a bad influence on Ferrari, and they would fire her eventually.

She grabbed her suitcase and threw everything in, not caring about any kind of organization. A heavy knock on her door stopped her from continuing. She wiped the tears from her face as best as she could before she opened the door. Charles stormed in, furious. “I can´t believe she would say things like that? She´s so fucking jealous that she started to spread lies and rumours about you, who does she think she is?!” he yelled but stopped and frowned when he saw the suitcase. “What are you doing?” he whispered and looked at her. “Leaving”, she stated and he widened his eyes. “Why would you leave? I break up with her y/n, I swear. How could I be with someone who´s capable of doing such things?” he asked and y/n finally looked at him, laying all of her honesty in her eyes. She didn’t have to say anything. Charles parted his lips. “It´s true”, he whispered. “She didn’t lie”, he stated and y/n looked down. “She didn’t lie, but you did”, he said and suddenly his eyes weren’t shining anymore. “You lied to me, all this time”, he repeated and y/n swallowed hard before the tears started to stain her face again. “Charles, I couldn’t tell you. I just wanted a fresh start, I-“ “Don´t. You lied to me. I don’t care why.” “Charles-“ “Goodbye, y/n. If that´s even your real name”, he said and stormed out, leaving y/n sobbing and crying on the floor.

Charles didn’t speak to Charlotte before he followed y/n. She went back to their shared room in the meantime, satisfied with how it all worked out. Her happiness lasted for about ten minutes, until Charles came back. He didn’t say anything when he came in, just grabbing Charlotte´s bag. “Charles- what are you doing?” she asked with wide eyes. “You´ll leave. I don´t want you here”, he said and threw some of her stuff inside her bag. “Excuse me? Stop it! You can´t just throw me out where am I supposed to go?” she yelled. “I don’t fucking care. Get a room and let them put it on my credit card I don’t care. Just get out of my sight”, he spat and she scoffed. “What did she tell you, huh? Did she tell you that I lied? Believe me Charles-“ “She didn’t tell me that you lied. I know that you said the truth. But what kind of person does that? In front of so many other people? You exposed her to her friends instead of just talking to me in private.” Charlotte scoffed again. “She lied to you and still managed to make me the bad guy?” “No. You´re both bad. I don’t want to see any of you, so get out of my fucking room!” he yelled and she startled, grabbing her bad which was know almost completely packed. “We´re over, if that wasn’t clear”, he said before he slammed the door shut behind her.

It didn’t take long for y/n to fall into old patterns. Working in the little Italian restaurant, buying drugs for her brother who almost didn’t notice that she was back, saving her drunk mother from sleeping next to the toilet in the bathroom. It almost felt like her time at Ferrari was nothing but a fever dream. Lando texted her, sometimes, asking her if she needed anything. She barely replied. She appreciated it for sure, but it was better for anybody if she stayed out of their business. She decided, or persuaded herself, that it was better like this. She wasn’t the right person to be with Charles and she would’ve never been. Still, she missed him, every second of the day. She kept their little kiss in her heart, nobody could take it away from her. She realized how much she loved him, not only as her best friend. But still, it was better this way.

Charles didn’t think so. He was angry, furious even for a few days. But then it hit him like a train. How much he missed her, how much she had changed his mood every day, what big of an impact she had on his mood. Since she was gone, his laughs were less frequent. Suddenly he didn’t know who he could talk to, didn’t know who to turn to after a bad qualifying, a bad race or simply after a bad day. He missed her stupid jokes, the way she wore her hair in a braided ponytail, the way she never missed to look stunning and mysterious. Now he knew what was so mysterious about her. He missed how she gave him a feeling of safety, even if he didn’t need it. He missed how she fell asleep sometimes when they had a movie night, the ultimate proof for him for how much she trusted him. However, he tried to ignore his feelings. She lied to him and obviously had way bigger issues than he could’ve ever known. Charles had to hold back his tears when the hospitality coordinator asked him what happened to y/n and he had to explain that she left. He was angry at y/n for bringing him in situations like that. But fuck, as soon as he was alone in his hotel room he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He had to see her again, even if it was just for one time. He wanted to tell her how much she hurt him, he wanted to kiss her goodbye and beg her to come with him- what? No, that wasn’t what he wanted. He hated her, right? Didn’t miss her. At. All.

He dialled her number multiple times, never had the guts to actually call her.

In September he had to go to Germany for a karting event, at Hockenheim Ring. The track was about an hour away from Frankfurt and Charles heart beat faster just by the thought of being so close to her. What would his heart do if they were standing in front of each other? Well, he was about to find out because without wasting a second thought about it, he rented an old Volkswagen and made his way to Frankfurt. He had no idea what her address was, but he figured that he could just ask for the ghetto, right? Worst case would be that he would have to actually call her. The reason he rented a car like this was that he didn’t need fans or paparazzi to follow him. Whatever place he was heading to, it wasn’t a place for him to be. It also wasn’t a place for y/n to be.

He reached the city centre of Frankfurt and opened his phone to google where this area was located. He only had to type in “Frankfurt Ghetto” and it came up immediately. He switched to Google Maps and followed the GPS until he noticed that the landscape changed. Instead of modern buildings and people wearing business clothes, this place was full of big, old, ugly towers. Garbage cans and bags were laying everywhere, barely any plants or trees to see. People in sweatpants and dirty clothes were standing in every corner, watching him as he drove by. Charles made sure that his car was locked from the inside. He swallowed when he passed a big building with neon lights, knowing what was inside. He was wondering if that was the place where her mother worked. He swallowed and tried to stay calm. Suddenly, he couldn’t go any further. He was standing in front of two big building with parking lots on his left side. The only way was to the left or back to where he came from. He decided to stay in the car for a while and looked around. A few people were around, without paying attention to him luckily. A young man was sitting on the stairs of one building, fidgeting with his leather bracelets. Suddenly, the man looked up and Charles gasped. He looked like her. Same face, same hair, same bone structure. He was very thin, as if the wind could blew him over and he was wearing black shorts and a ripped black t shirt with a lot of stains.

Charles breathed out heavily and got out of the car. He knew that it was insane what he was doing. He knew that this guy was an addict, what if he was dangerous? Maybe he would rob him. But he was probably his only chance to find her.

He took a few steps towards the man who already looked at him. He didn’t stand up when Charles stood in front of him. “I know who you are”, he stated and Charles tried to control his breath. “You´re the driver y/n likes so much”, he said and Charles heart skipped a beat. “You´re her brother, right?” he dared to ask and the man nodded. Unexpectedly, he held out his hand. “Nico”, he said and Charles was unsure what to do. Eventually, he took his hand and shook it for a second before taken it back. “Charles”, he answered and sat down next to him. “What are you doing here?” Nico asked and Charles kicked a little pebble stone away from the stairs. “I wanted to see her. I miss her”, he answered truthfully. “She thinks you hate her”, Nico said and a painful ache went through Charles body. “I could never hate her”, he whispered. “Me neither. She´s an angel”, Nico said and Charles gave him a light smile. “Are you going to take her with you?” Nico asked and Charles shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know if she wants to come back.” “Of course she does. Even if she says she doesn’t. Since she came back she didn’t speak much, but when she did than it was only about you”, Nico said.

Charles wondered how much he could give on his words. Was he on drugs right now? Probably. If not, he wouldn’t be able to speak normal like this, right? Or was he? Charles didn’t know, he never had contact with a drug addict. “She has to go with you. She can´t stay here. She´s too good for this place”, Nico said and his voice started to slur a little. Charles frowned, realizing that he should end this conversation. “Nico, do you know where y/n is?” he asked. “She should be here soon, she had to work today”, he answered and looked at the stairs. “I should go”, he said and stood up immediately. Charles looked up to him. “Please don’t hurt my sister. She´s everything I have. I wouldn’t want her to go, but she has to. Don’t let her stay here”, he whispered and run away. Charles frowned and wondered what kind of guy Nico would be today, if he had never started taking drugs.

Y/n had already seen him when Charles turned his head. She was only a few metres away from him, staring at him as if he was a ghost. Charles stood up, quickly and wiped the dust off his pants. Neither of them said a word, before he was standing right in front of her. All the anger, all the hate was blown away as he saw her. Her long, black hair was falling over her shoulders. She was wearing high waisted jeans, as always, and a short white top. Her white sneakers were dirty. She looked beautiful. “Am I dreaming?” she whispered and Charles shook his head. “You still owe me an explanation”, he said and she clenched her jaw a little. “Not here”, she stated.

Only fifteen minutes later they were sitting around a small table in a café. Y/n didn’t know what to say, although she knew what he wanted to hear. “I talked to your brother”, Charles said and she looked at him. “Don´t worry. It was a nice conversation, actually.” “What did he say to you?” she asked and played with the handle of her cup of tea. “That I should take you with me again, because you miss me”, Charles said and couldn’t hide a little smirk. A smile flitted across her lips. “I thought you´d hate me”, she whispered and looked back at the table. “I tried”. “Couldn’t”, he added. “Y/n, I want to hear the truth from you. Everything.” And y/n told him everything.

From her childhood, her mother, her unknown father. She told him about her time at school and how Nico got in contact with drugs. How she always had to be responsible for her family. She told him about her ex-boyfriend who hurt her so much, she didn’t tell him what he did in detail. Maybe that was something for another time.

She told him about the nights she had to stay in jail, because she got caught buying drugs for her brother and how she managed to change the story a little for Ferrari, so that she would still get the job.

She told him about her jobs and how happy she was when she got the job at Ferrari. She told him that she was so happy when she met him that she didn’t want to ruin anything by telling him the truth. She told him how happy she was that she could finally start over. Nobody knew about her past or about her brother and nobody feared her the way they do in the ghetto.

“I know that I lied to you. I regret it now, knowing that I could’ve trust you with it. But I was so scared, Charles. I never had someone like you in my life, I couldn’t risk losing you. I know that I was selfish, and I can´t ask for you to forgive me. But I want you to know that I´m sorry.” Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat after telling him everything. She got nervous when he didn’t answer right away. “I do forgive you, y/n”, he whispered and she finally looked at him again. “Yes you hurt me, yes you lied to me but now I understand why you did all these things. I think I wouldn’t have acted differently in your situation. Of course I could never imagine being in your situation, but I forgive you”, he said and y/n couldn’t stop the sob from leaving her mouth. Tears were running down her face and she immediately wrapped her arms around him, afraid that this was all a dream and he would disappear again.

After a few minutes, she tried to calm down and let go of him. “I should go back”, she said. “Have to look after my brother”. Charles nodded and grabbed his keys before he drove them back to her place. The sun already started to set and Charles knew that he had to convince her soon. He wanted her to come with him and he wouldn’t leave her again. Not here. She got out of the car and headed towards her brother, who was sitting on the stairs again. “Everything alright?” she asked and Nico nodded, looking at Charles who stood behind her. “I will go upstairs. Leave you two alone.” Before he left he whispered something in y/n´s ear, so that Charles couldn’t hear.

Y/n turned to Charles. “Where are you staying?” she asked and he shrugged his shoulders. “I´ll get a hotel in the city. You can choose”. Y/n frowned. “Why would I choose?” “Because you´re coming with me. You didn’t think I´ll leave you here, right?”

She took a step towards him. “Charlie, you have no idea how glad I am that you forgave me. But what I did is unacceptable. I just left, without saying a word. Ferrari will never give me my job back. I hate it, I really do, but this is where I belong. I messed up everything and I deserve to be here”. “No you don’t. And you didn’t mess up anything. Yes, you should’ve said the truth from the beginning, but you did a fantastic job at Ferrari. And the only thing you lied about was where you´re coming from. You´re personality, your humour and your whole being was real. Charlotte was the one who messed it up. You´re right, maybe Ferrari won´t let you work for them but you could at least apologize and ask, right? And if they don’t take you, maybe another team will. Or I´ll hire you as my assistant or something.” He took another step towards her so that their noses almost touched. “I´ll do anything. Just come with me.” Y/n sighed. “I´m not leaving without you, y/n”, he whispered and she closed her eyes for a second. She cupped his face with her hands and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips touched for a few seconds, before she let go of him. She loved him. She loved him so much that it hurt. But was he really so foolish to love her back?

“I know that you worry about your brother, but he told me that-“ “I´m coming with you, Charles”, she interrupted him. “He just told me that he will never talk to me again if I wouldn’t go with you”.

After packing her things and saying goodbye to her brother, y/n and Charles were looking for a hotel. After checking in, y/n immediately took a shower as long as possible. She washed her hair, her body and shaved, she felt like a new human being afterwards. She changed into a short pyjama, shorts high enough to cover the marks on her hip. They didn’t even talk about sharing a bed, they just knew that they wouldn’t leave each other´s sides.

They were laying next to each other, the room was completely dark but the moon managed to bring in some light through the curtains. Y/n was snuggled at Charles side, listening to the sound of his beating heart. “Y/n?” Charles asked. There was one question he always wanted to ask her. He wanted to ask her when she didn’t want to show herself in a bathing suit at the hotel´s pool in Spain. The second time was when she screamed at him to leave the room because she wanted to change, even though she just wanted to change into sweatpants. He wanted to know everything. “Hmm?” she hummed and drew little circles on his chest.

“Why are you always covering your hip?” he asked and she gulped. “You will know it soon enough”, she answered and he was somewhat satisfied with that answer. The last thing he wanted was to pick a fight. “I want to kiss you again”, he whispered and she lifted her head to look at him. She rolled herself on top of him and started to kiss his jawline before stopping right over his lips. With a quick look of reassurance, he pressed his lips on hers. She moaned by the feeling of his soft lips, craving it for such a long time. He ran his tongue over her lower lip and she opened her mouth a little, to let him in. His hands were on her hips and he groaned when she squeezed his biceps a little. He quickly turned her around, so that he laid on top of her.

She hesitated and stopped kissing him, clearly feeling unwell with not being in control. Charles pressed his lips on the side of her neck. “We can stop whenever you want. But you don´t have to be in control all the time”, he whispered and spread little kisses from her neck to her jawline. He lifted his head and looked at her, her eyes fixating on him. “Do you trust me?” he asked and she quickly nodded. “100 percent”, she answered and he smiled. “You say the word and I stop”, he reassured her and started to spread kisses down her body. Y/n was already going crazy by his touch, she didn’t have sex since what happened with her ex-boyfriend. She thought she would never trust anybody with her body again, but she felt safe with Charles. She knew that he would never do something she didn’t want. So she let it happen.

She let him kiss her clothed breast, let him slid his hands under her shirt to caress them. He kissed her stomach but made no attempts to take off her pants. Instead, he pressed his lips on her inner thigh, kissing his way all the way down to her ankle just to go back up.

He grabbed the hem of her shorts, looking up to her. She nodded, slowly, closing her eyes as she felt him pulling down her shorts. He pressed a kiss on her thigh, then the other one. He kissed the left side of her hip and made his way over her belly button, before he reached the scarred spot. Three little round marks were there and Charles closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Did he do this to you?” he asked and looked at her. She only nodded again. “Did Nico take care of him?” he asked and felt relieved when she nodded once more. Carefully, he striped his lips over her skin. He felt the uneven surface of where the marks are and she gasped a little. He pushed himself up and hovered over her. “You´re beautiful, do you know that?” he asked. “Nothing could ever change that”. He didn’t wait for her reply, knowing that he wouldn’t get one.

He started pressing against on her body again, more demanding this time. He kissed her marks again before he got lower. She breathed heavily, waiting for him to finally touch her where she needed him most. Not wanting to tease her, he pressed his lips on her core. She gasped and bended her neck which made him smile.

His tongue found all the right places. He ate her out as if he was starving and he was in a way. He had to wait too long for this, imagined how she would taste like too often. Y/n was overwhelmed by the feeling, knowing that she wouldn’t last long. She grabbed his hair and moaned, never wanting this moment to stop. “Char-“ she gasped when her high washed over her, releasing her from the pressure. He hummed and licked over her now sensitive clit a couple more times before he pushed himself up to her again. Her taste and her sounds caused his cock to be painfully hard, but he didn’t want to rush things. “We don’t have to go further tonight”, he said and gave her a quick kiss. She shook her head, eagerly. There was no way she´d stop now. “Want all of you tonight, Charlie”, she whispered and he groaned, kissing her neck again. “I don´t have a condom, mon amour”, he mumbled and she forced him to look at her. “I´m on birth control. And I trust you”, she said.

Since she got her first period, birth control was the most important thing for y/n. Bad things happened in the ghetto and even though luckily nothing like this ever happened to her, she knew what happened to her mother. To avoid being in the same situation, she saved all her money to get an IUD.

Charles was quick with getting rid of his pants, lining himself up over her entrance. “Please”, she gasped and he slid inside her, overwhelmed by the feeling of her. “God, y/n”, he moaned and moved slowly, needing to get used to her tightness. “Faster”, she moaned after a few thrusts and he picked up his pace. “You´re making me crazy”, he moaned and slid one arm under her back to have her in a better grip. “Fuck, Charles”, she moaned loudly and he hissed, knowing that he wouldn’t last long tonight.

He felt her walls clenching around him after some time and when her orgasm gripped him tightly inside of her, he got pushed over the edge. With a few sloppy thrusts he finished inside of her, breathing heavily as he leaned his head against hers. Never had he experienced sex this intense. “Fuck, y/n”, he gasped.

She wanted him to say it. He wanted to say it. They´ve waited too long, had to hide their feelings for too long and he couldn’t wait much longer. But what if it was too early? What if she wasn’t ready for saying it too? Would it matter? Every single one of Charles thoughts got washed away when she opened her mouth. “Say it”, she whispered and he groaned. His hand found its way to her cheek, his heart pounding fast inside his chest. “Je t´aime, y/n”, he whispered and she breathed in heavily, afraid that her heart would jump out of her chest. “I love you too, Charles”.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc imagine #formula one imagine #ferrari #cl16 #cl16 imagine #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1

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miheartsedthings · 1 month

Text

Long Drive

SFW

You can’t sleep. Your body too full of a thrumming sadness you can’t be rid of. The source of which you can’t pin down. Your heart feels stuck to your sternum and you turn over in bed again searching for some kind of relief.

“Can’t sleep?”

Billy’s husky voice finds you in the dark.

“Not even a little.”

The two of you climb into the car, you bring your thin blanket and he doesn’t bother putting on a shirt. He’s warm enough to brave the spring chill without one. You let the passenger seat back and watch dark trees slide by the window. A navy sky empty of stars. His hand comes groping under the blanket, searching for your hand and you offer it, lacing your fingers with his.

“What’s got you sad?”

“How’d you know?”

He gives you a skeptical look.

“All this time, you still think you can keep a secret from me?”

It makes you smile, however sadly.

“Just feeling…far away…don’t know why.”

He nods slowly, his eyes watching the horizon while he mulls over what you’ve said.

“From me?”

You shrug.

“From everything. Just…feel like I’m missing something.”

He brings your hand to his lips.

“I’m here.”

You smile.

“I know.” You say “I know you’re here. I know I’m not really on my own I just…” You don’t have the words to finish this feeling. It has no particular name. “Why couldn’t you sleep?”

He heaves a deep sigh.

“Steve texted me.”

This rings alarm bells, you raise the seat to sit up and look at him.

“Yeah? Is he okay?”

He shakes his head.

“The nightmares came back. Bouncing’ off the fuckin walls over there.”

You groan, your heart filling with worry.

“How can he still live in that town?”

He shrugs.

“The kids are there. He won’t leave till they graduate.”

“Fuck.” Your head falls against the rest. “I worry about him,” you say. “A guy like that shouldn’t live alone. He needs people around.”

“I told him,” Billy grumbles, clearly worried about his friend. The sensitive boy he sometimes thinks of as a brown-eyed puppy. He rifles through the glovebox, retrieving his cigarettes with a huff.

“You told him he can live with us, right? If he wants to?”

“I fuckin’ told him, baby,” he says around the cigarrette. He rolls down the window a second too late, filling the car with the heady musk of smoke. “He’s a stubborn asshole.”

You cough and he apologizes, giving your knee an affectionate squeeze. You tell him it’s fine and crack your window as well. The two of you sit in silence for a while. Winding through streets in no particular order.

“You think people can feel it when you're thinking about them?” Billy glances over at you. Unsure how to answer. “I mean, psychically. Like…I think about it with celebrities sometimes. When there's thousands of people thinking about you all at once, it has to have some effect. Maybe it just makes them sneeze.” He grins a little, taking another long hit from his Marlboro. “So maybe Steve’s sneezing his brains out right about now.”

“I hope so. I hope he knows we give a shit.”

“I think he knows you care. You tried hard after everything. He trusts you now.”

“Hmm.”

He takes another long pull from his cigarette and angles the smoke toward the window. He avoids downtown and all that traffic, choosing instead to wind through the empty streets curving toward the San Bernadino mountains.

“Are you gonna call him?”

He sighs. Already his cigarette is nearly gone.

“And say what?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes people just need to hear they’re gonna be okay. And it means something coming from you.”

He scoffs. The cigarette is done, and he scrubs it against the heel of his shoe before flicking it out the window.

“You don’t think he listens to you?”

“If he listened to me he’d leave that asscrack of a town.”

You shrug, slumping down in your seat.

“Leaving your home can be scary.”

“So fuckin’ what? Shit gets scary, do it anyway.”

You can’t help laughing.

“I knew it, I knew you read that book!”

You can see him start to blush in the cool blue light from the dashboard. You’re talking about the book his therapist recommended the year after moving out of Hawkins. Do It Scared. He’d insisted he wasn’t interested in reading it, yet here he was quoting it like scripture. Your teasing gets to him, and he retaliates by jamming his fingers into the ticklish spot on your side. You’re forced against the door where you can’t wiggle out of his reach. Instantly you’re apologizing, begging for him to stop through painfully uncontrollable laughter.

He’s smiling when he relents, satisfied to have taken his revenge. You settle back in your seat with a sigh. Followed by a yawn.

“There it is,” he says, affection softening his tone.

He brings your hand to his mouth again. Each of your fingers gets a turn against his lips. You watch him, taking in the details of his profile. You've looked at him so many times you've completely lost count, but every time you do it feels new. You discover something in the beauty of him that makes you realize again how much you want him nearby. This time, you watch his careful gaze as he looks out onto the road ahead. His lashes, tail lights shining into ocean blue. He’s worrying.

“Anyway. Not everyone can just barrel through stuff. He’s scared and he could use a call from you.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll check on the little dweeb. Happy?”

“Very,” you answer with a sleepy smile.

You find yourselves far from home, wondering on and on as the hours roll by. You both have class in the morning, but there’s something so comforting about the car and the darkened streets. You waste time, long stretches of it going by without a word spoken between you. Not much needs to be said in company as familiar as this. You’re able to be together, letting go your tensions with every new scratch of mile. Drowsy and quiet until sunrise.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #billy hargrove imagine #billy stranger things #fanfic #story

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jasmines-library · 3 months

Note

Hi there! I absolutely adore the way you write and how you approach heavier topics. If it doesn’t bother you, could I request a Batfamily fic with reader who has an ED? I know a lot of people struggle with it and I feel like we all need a little affirmation sometimes. <3

Just The Way You Are

Warnings: Eating Disorders - please read with caution.

Word Count: 1.1k

Note: This one hit home hard. As someone who has struggled with and ED, I think it is important to raise awareness about them. Please note that this is based off off my personal experiences and from research. EDs present themselves in many different ways that vary for everyone. Please remember to be kind to yourself and others and if you are struggling and are able to, to reach out. I have linked some helplines below for those who are in need. Please remember that you are loved and you are perfect just the way you are. You are special. You are loved. You are unique. never let anyone take that away from you.

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

You hadn’t touched most of your food. It sat there getting cold as you pushed it around the porcelain listening to the way your fork scraped gratingly against the shiny surface. You had taken a few bites, longing to savour the taste of Alfred’s cooking as it melted on your tongue, but it didn’t seem to have the same effect anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to bring anymore of the food to your lips. Even the smell began to make your stomach churn. And you felt so stupid as you sat there staring at the plate as everyone else delved in. In some ways that made you feel worse. But eating had begun to feel like a crime.

When it first started, you never thought it would go this far. You just wanted to lose a little weight, to tone your stomach and your muscles just a little bit more. You weren’t even entirely sure why. Perhaps a cruel comment made in passing? It didn’t matter. But what did was the way that your mind seemed to wrack with cruel thoughts every time you looked in the mirror. Pointing out everything that seemed to be wrong. Or didn’t look like the models in the photos in Jason's magazines.

So, you started cutting back. Just a little at first. Snacks in between meals. And you started working out more, trying to burn off calories faster. But when you checked the scales it felt like it wasn’t enough. When you looked in the mirror, your mind still screamed at you, replaying comments and thoughts in your mind like a broken record. They scratched away at you until soon you began to cut back on meals. Breakfast. Smaller portions at lunch and just a few bites here or there at dinner, so that your family wouldn’t suspect a thing. And still even that didn’t seem to be enough. You still felt wrong every time you glanced in the mirror. You still felt like your body wasn’t good enough.

Soon they noticed. You were becoming more withdrawn, often slipping away into the bathrooms after meals. Often not at meals at all. You were sluggish too and seemed to lack the spark that you used to hold. They would ask you tenderly if you were okay, but most days you would scatter or pretend not to have heard them. And other days you would just tell them that you had already had something to eat. That you weren’t hungry.

And somehow lying to them made the situation feel so much worse. Like you were harming them as well as yourself. Your mind was a blur. Days seemed to pass by in some strange mess of time and the only thing that consumed thoughts were the lingering, cruel jests of your inner monologue. Sometimes, you begged for it to stop. You wanted to stop. But you couldn’t. Because you felt as though if you did you would feel disgusting. You would feel as though everything you had done had been for nothing.

“Not hungry?” Tim asked from across beside you. You had zoned out, not sparing the rest of them aside as your mind wandered off on a tangent.

“Hmm?” You frowned. “No. I had a big lunch not too long ago. It was stupid of me really, I should know better than to eat too close to dinner.”

Jason frowned. “You’ve been doing that a lot. Are you okay?”

“Mhm.” You hummed, keeping your eyes plastered on the table cloth, not daring to meet his gaze.

“I didn’t see you at breakfast either today Y/N.” Damian added. “Are you sure you’ve had enough to eat?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, swallowing down the anxiety that rose within you quickly. “I’ve already said I’m just not hungry.”

“You’re looking a little pale kiddo.” Dick said “I don’t want you getting sick. Why don’t you try and take a few more bites. It’ll help.”

And soon it all became too much. Everything seemed too much. Too bright, too loud, too hot. And a tear that had been threatening to spill from your eyes for weeks now finally slipped free of its cage.

“I can’t.”

It was a simple phrase, but your voice trembled.

“Why not, kid? What’s the matter kiddo?” Jason asked calmly.

“I just… I just can’t.” you sobbed. “Because if I eat then I feel like my body isn’t good enough! I don’t look like a model. Everytime I look in the mirror I see a body staring back at me that is mine, but it doesn’t feel like me. It doesn’t look like how I want it too. How it’s supposed to.”

They fell silent for a moment. But then Damian spoke up.

“Oh Y/N/N… your body is beautiful.”

“Is that why you haven’t been eating?” Dick tilted his head.

You nodded meekly.

“Oh kid…you’re so perfect. You don’t need to change for anyone ever. Who cares what you look like?”

“Me! Everyone! I don’t know!”

“We don’t care. We think you are beautiful just the way you are. You are perfect y/n, and we wouldn’t want you any different.” Tim told you gently, placing his hand atop of yours.

“We love every inch of you. You are beautiful.”

You sniffled, wiping away your tears.

“We’re sorry you couldn’t tell us how you feel. But we are here for you. Always.” Damian told you.

“We’re always going to be here kiddo. We’re here to help you. Here to love you.” Jason added.

“We don’t know what we would do without you. It’s so important that you take care of yourself, beautiful.” Dick said. “And it will take time, as recovery does, but we’re going to be here to help you every step of the way.”

And they were true to their words. The four of them began to help you on your recovery journey. Often they would sit with you, taking small bites of food with you or offering you your favourite treats, reassuring you that it was okay.

If you ever felt overwhelmed, they would wait with you, allowing you to take your time.

Everyday they reminded you of how proud they were of you, even if you felt your progress had gone backward that day. Because they truly were.

Often they would slip you notes. Sometimes they came under your door or were left by your bathroom mirror. You had quite the collection. Each one was different. A different reason why they loved you, or a reminder of how proud they were of you. Reminders that you are loved and you are beautiful just the way you are.

HELPLINES

BATFAM TAGLIST:

@aestheticdaisies

@hell-o-kittys

@xxrougefangxx

@mamapucket

@hearts4robs

@harleycao

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creature-wizard · 2 months

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Some things associated with New Age that aren't inherently bad

Since this blog can get kinda heavy sometimes, and because there's some people out there who think that anything remotely adjacent to New Age is evil and must be banished forever, I figured I'd write something on elements it includes that aren't necessarily bad.

Its general concept of God and divinity

New Age beliefs typically posit that God, or Source, effectively split itself into many different souls in order to have different kinds of experiences. There's nothing wrong with this model of divinity in itself, since it doesn't by itself imply anything hateful or suggest any kind of action that might lead to harm. Where it gets messed up is when people start claiming that if you're suffering, it's because you deliberately chose to have this kind of experience before you incarnated. That's just victim blaming, and it's wrong.

Energy healing

Energy healing on its own is a harmless practice, and many people do report feeling better for doing it. Dismissing energy healing as inherently bad in itself would be like dismissing prayer for recovery as inherently bad. It's really not. The problem is always when people start believing they should only rely on energy healing or prayer, or fall into the belief that pharmaceutical medicine is sinful or an evil conspiracy.

Listening to relaxing tones

No, those "healing frequencies" probably won't cure any serious ailments. But that doesn't mean they can't make you feel more relaxed or help you focus. You don't have to subscribe to any specific belief system to listen to these audios.

Glossolalia

The New Age practice of speaking in light languages is a form of glossolalia, which basically involves relaxing and speaking whatever sounds immediately come to you. Doing it can be cathartic and relaxing, and you don't need to subscribe to any specific belief system to do it.

Tarot reading

Reading tarot cards doesn't require subscribing to any specific spiritual belief system. Nor do you even need to be spiritual at all; you can read tarot cards with the perspective that what you're doing is prompting your own mind to consider things from new angles.

Meditation

Meditation is known to have beneficial effects, and doing it doesn't require subscribing to any particular belief system. Yes, it's a problem when somebody subscribes meditation as a cure-all, or use it as a form of spiritual bypassing, but that's a problem with the teacher, not the practice itself.

Eating more plant foods

Provided you don't have any allergies or intolerances, eating more fruits, vegetables, nuts, and the like usually isn't a bad idea. The problem with New Age is when it effectively moralizes food by decreeing certain foods "high vibrational" or "low vibrational," or when it's pushing conspiracy theories about modern processed food items being intentionally poisoned to block our psychic abilities or keep us dependent on the healthcare system. And obviously, it's appallingly ableist to tell someone that they could cure a chronic illness by switching to an all-natural vegan diet or something.

Belief in aliens

It's a big universe, and it's not unreasonable to think we're not alone in it, and that maybe there's beings who are observing us. The problem is when belief in aliens becomes part of a conspiratorial worldview that scapegoats certain groups of people for the world's problems, displaces real history, and misuses other people's traditions and beliefs.

Belief that things can and will get better

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett's words in The Hogfather, we sometimes need to believe in things that aren't true (such as justice and mercy) so they can become true. Believing that things can change makes people feel like their efforts are worth something. Meanwhile, when everyone's got a doomer attitude nothing will change for the better because nobody will even try.

One problem with New Age's optimism in specific is that they tend to believe that things getting better is contingent on converting a large number of people to New Age spirituality, which includes getting them to accept a large number of conspiratorial beliefs that target and harm vulnerable minorities, and/or distort and erase the actual spiritual beliefs of people from different cultures (many of whom are marginalized minorities and/or have been severely harmed by colonialism already).

Another problem is when you get the whole 5D ascension thing going on. 5D ascension is basically the New Age version of the Rapture, and just like the Rapture, it's always said to be right around the corner, but it never materializes. (If you'd like examples, here are predictions for 2012 and 2015.) Very concerningly, New Agers often list a number of physical and mental health symptoms as "ascension symptoms." They were claiming this as far back as the 2010s, when December 31, 2012 was supposed to be the big day. (Here's an example.)

Basically, hope and belief that things can get better is important - but it's also important not to hang our hopes (and medical decisions) on supernatural predictions that have already failed multiple times.

Wanting to promote compassion and understanding between people

This is a great thing to want! The problem with New Age isn't that they want to spread peace and harmony, but rather the way they want to do it without really listening to the people they supposedly want to help. You can't, for example, genuinely fight colonialism if you're engaging in cultural appropriation and misrepresenting their spiritual traditions - you're an active part of the problem. Promoting compassion and understanding begins with you shutting up, listening, and learning without imposing your own preconceptions or reacting from your ego. You're not doing this if you're looking for mythology to project aliens onto, or dismissing anything you don't want to hear as a conspiracy.

And here's some critical thinking tips before you go

When you're evaluating any belief system or practice, it's always important to remember that belief and practice are not the same thing. Most of the time the practices are harmless in and of themselves; the actual danger comes from the conspiratorial and morally polarized worldviews many practitioners also subscribe to. Nobody's ever died from putting rose quartz in their room or getting a reiki session. They have died from refusing evidence-based medical care because someone convinced them that the health care industry is a scam and will also separate them from Source.

When it comes to beliefs themselves, ask yourself what kind of narratives they're upholding. If they basically promote the same kind of conspiratorial narratives used by Nazis, witch hunters, or far right Christians to justify their hatred and violence, that's a pretty strong sign that this belief is bullshit. But of course, there's a pretty stark difference between believing that aliens could be out there, and believing blood-drinking reptiles have invaded the Earth.

#new age #beliefs #belief #spirituality #witchblr #critical thinking #discernment

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thisismeracing · 10 months

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Banana pancakes | MS47

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x fem!reader (she/her) ― Word count: 1.2k ― Warnings: not proofread; mentions of food, rain, and childhood memories (it's a small paragraph of the reader talking about her parents in a healthy way, but it may be a trigger to someone, so I'm adding it here); ― Summary: Mick is used to racing cars and living at high speed, but lazy rainy mornings with you are his favorite. Cuddling in bed, making banana pancakes, and listening to the rain fall down while swinging together on the front porch, no travel or circuit beats these moments. ― A/n: I actually liked this far better than I thought I would, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Let me know your thoughts by reblogging and/or leaving me an ask (anons are on) *mwah* 🤍

⁕ Based on this request. ⁕ my masterlist and my taglist ⁕ you can support my writing by reblogging, and leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece)

The sound of the heavy rain falling against the window and the cold space where once was Mick’s body woke Yn up. She stretched her arms just to make sure he wasn’t by the edge of the bed like he did sometimes when dreaming. Some days he would move closer, others farther, it all depended on what kind of dream he was having and how tired he was. This morning though, Yn couldn’t find him, not even when she opened her eyes and scanned the whole room.

She yawned and huffed before moving to the bathroom to get the day started. When she came out of the room, wearing one of his hoodies, bare feet hitting the cold ground, she could hear the low murmur coming from the kitchen. The smell of coffee and pancakes laced her stomach, and Yn smiled, propping her body on the doorframe.

Mick was distracted, humming to a song from their Lazy Mornings playlist, while Angie was lying by the counter, peacefully snoring. He was in the process of adding another batch of pancakes to the pan when Yn walked to him hugging his waist from behind.

“Why didn’t you wake me up, babe?” She murmured against the naked skin of his back, littering small kisses there.

Mick left the bowl on the counter and turned to place a proper kiss on Yn’s pouty lips. She sighed and relaxed with how he held her. His gray sweats were hanging low on his hips, and he was barefoot too, but he still felt warm and cuddly.

“You needed the extra rest,” he kissed each of her eyelids before adding, “and I wanted to make you banana pancakes.” Yn had told him the night prior how she was craving the pancakes she used to eat every morning a while ago, and Mick took the opportunity to pamper her a bit. He was used to the rushing pace of racing weeks, waking up early, spending the whole day and night busy with something, and then running against the clock to wake up early again and run again, and again, and again. So when life slowed down, and he had a break here and there, his body still would wake up early, though his mind was able to relax and decelerate.

Yn got on her tiptoes once again and left one last peck on his pink lips before walking to the counter to start setting aside the rest of the breakfast.

They worked around the kitchen together, the sounds from the frying from the stove, the humming from the coffee machine, the low singing from their shared playlist, and the rain hitting the windows coming together to create the perfect symphony.

Once everything was ready, they sat side by side at the table, Yn’s legs over Mick’s thighs. They ate like this, close to each other, peacefully listening to some of the natural sounds the earth could create. Angie would round them every once in a while looking for a bite of human food, to which Mick would deny, but give up after her persistent doe eyes.

“We should sit by the porch to watch the rain,” Yn suggested after both of them were finished. She didn’t move to stand though, and Mick smiled, still tracing patterns on the skin of her naked legs.

“You’ll need to put some sweats on. The wind may be a bit cold.”

“You could just warm me up then,” she shrugged before chuckling and running to the bedroom.

When she came down, Mick had already cleaned the table and started the washing machine. Yn handed him his grey hoodie in exchange for a cup of hot cocoa. Mick put on the piece of clothing, before grabbing his coffee mug with one hand and lacing Yn’s fingers with the free one. She stopped to pet Angie and set the dog on her bed on the way to the back door, and then just like that they were outside. The smell of rain and wetland engulfs the whole space, and for a second it felt like walking in an open art exposition with all the green trees and flowers surrounding the perimeter.

Mick sat down on the big wooden swing, and Yn snuggled closer to his side, her legs on top of his, while his arm held her close. He moved the swing lightly before letting his feet hang. They enjoyed the taste of their beverages and the warmth of the other in silence.

It was good to appreciate life like this every once in a while. To watch how some trees would bend but never break, how others would let some leaves go, and how some seemed to enjoy the pouring rain getting greener and shinier with every second.

“I love the rain,” Yn whispered in thought, and Mick hummed, turning his head to look at her and planting a kiss on her forehead.

“And I love you.”

She shifted and held Mick’s jaw, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. He hummed in appreciation and gave the perfect space for her tongue to explore his, the coffee and cocoa getting colder in their hands.

Yn declared her love back in a low tone, as if it was their secret and as if the trees were watching.

“Why do you love the rain? We never really had a deep conversation on the topic,” Mick asked after some time, sipping his lukewarm coffee.

Yn frowned and gave him her best defiant grin. “How do you know there’s a deeper meaning behind my affection for the rain?”

“Because I know you,” he stated simply, and she huffed, smiling.

“Fair enough,” she took a sip of her drink, holding it with her two hands in an attempt to wash away the cold. “The small raindrops can take away anything if only they’re persistent enough.”

Mick nodded and kept watching her, knowing Yn was not done with her explanation. “It’s not about hard rain, but persistent rain. When I was a kid, I drew on the outside of my house using markers. Only later I realized it wouldn’t go away rubbing it, so I went crying to my parents. My dad was a bit annoyed, but my mom just looked up at the sky and told me the rain was coming, to which my dad answered that it wasn’t heavy rain, not a storm. But Mom assured us that constant rain was far better than heavy rain in that case. When we woke up the next day, after hours of regular rain, the wall was actually clean. Of course, I only started to think about it as a metaphor when I was older, but yeah, I like the idea of constant things far better than heavy ones. A constant can be just as intense, and it brings you warmth, makes you feel safe, secure, at home.”

“I had no idea love and rain had so much in common,” Mick confesses, and Yn nods.

“Yeah, you’re like constant rain to me. You make me banana pancakes even when I didn't openly ask for them, you keep me warm, make me feel at home, and love me. It’s nice to experience it beside you.”

The blonde grins, setting their cups aside and bringing Yn to his lap. They sigh, lacing their bodies together in a tender hug, feeling warm, safe, secure, at home, and watching the rain fall outside their porch.

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Don't forget to water a plant and water this account too (you water this account by reblogging and leaving me a message if you're comfortable, it means a lot to me, and makes my imagination bloom just like a flower would) *forehead kiss*

taglist: @sachaa-ff @kenanlotus0 @dalsuwaha @mellowpizzapuppy @mickslover @crimeshowjunkie @iloveyou3000morgan @formulakay3 @carojasmin2204 @mishaandthebrits @saintslewis @fdl305 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @leclercsluv @babyiscrying @balekane_mohafe @uuuseeerrr12 @karmabyfernando

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

#ms47 #mick schumacher #millie writes #mick schumacher imagines #f1 fandom #f1 imagine #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher fanfic #f1 x reader #mick schumacher x you #f1 fluff #mick schumacher fluff #f1 x you #formula one imagine

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edenmemes · 10 months

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asoiaf: sword of storms starters

❝ why would the stars want to look down on one such as me? ❞ ❝ sometimes i think everyone is just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. maybe pretending is how you get brave. ❞ ❝ come, curse me or kiss me or call me a liar. something. ❞ ❝ some battles are not won with swords and spears, others with quills and ravens. ❞ ❝ old stories are like old friends. you have to visit them from time to time. ❞ ❝ still, night falls for all of us in the end, and too soon for some. ❞ ❝ and i tell you truly, there is no man in all the world who will ever be half so true to you as me. ❞ ❝ there are fights no swords can win. ❞ ❝ nothing will happen to you. nothing. i could not stand it. ❞ ❝ in such troubled times, it is hard to know friend from foe. ❞ ❝ you hide behind courtesy as if it were a castle wall. ❞ ❝ why do i enrage you so? i’ve never done you harm that i know of. ❞ ❝ it seems to me that a ruler who trusts no one is as foolish as a ruler who trusts everyone. ❞ ❝ love’s not always wise, i’ve learned. it can lead us to great folly, but we follow our hearts...wherever they take us. ❞ ❝ only lies offend me, never honest counsel. ❞ ❝ it was never my wish to sow enmity between us. ❞ ❝ best you were taken to your bed for a long resting, until you are stronger. ❞ ❝ even brave men blind themselves sometimes, when they are afraid to see. ❞ ❝ no harm will come to you, you have my word on that. ❞ ❝ the worst is behind us. don’t be frightened. ❞ ❝ silence. have you forgotten who i am? ❞ ❝ there is something we must speak of. will you walk with me? ❞ ❝ you shall rise again, i am sure. a man like you. ❞ ❝ i am not a cruel man. you know me. ❞ ❝ the world grows a little darker every day. ❞ ❝ i have need of good counsel, and you never gave me less. ❞ ❝ you are a treacherous old rogue, but a good friend all the same. ❞ ❝ madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ if you love me all so much, why are you still dressed? ❞ ❝ you’re mine. mine, as i’m yours. ❞ ❝ wars need not be fought until the last drop of blood. ❞ ❝ one voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found. ❞ ❝ when it comes to battle, discipline beats valour every time. ❞ ❝ sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. ❞ ❝ it is too late for ifs, and too late for rescues. all that remains is vengeance. ❞ ❝ only blood can pay for blood. ❞ ❝ why do you hesitate? kill him, and be done. ❞ ❝ i will fall into those eyes and drown. ❞ ❝ harsh justice is still justice. ❞ ❝ i am cleverer than most, surely wits count for something. ❞ ❝ there’s a storm coming. a bad one. ❞ ❝ men will read all sorts of things into a knowing smile if you let them. ❞ ❝ the greatest fools are ofttimes more clever than the men who laugh at them. ❞ ❝ all these kings would do a deal better if they would put down their swords and listen to their mothers. ❞ ❝ you were made to be kissed, often and well. ❞ ❝ i walk alone with no true companion but tears. ❞ ❝ there is a savage beast in every man, and when you hand that man a sword or spear and send him forth to war, the beast stirs. ❞ ❝ there are fights no swords can win. ❞ ❝ here you are my guest, and safe from harm at my hands...this night, at least. ❞ ❝ i love the smell of you. i love your hair. i love your mouth, and the way you kiss me. ❞ ❝ i am alive, and drunk on sunlight. ❞ ❝ we look up at the same stars and see such different things. ❞ ❝ let them kill me. so long as i die fighting, a blade in hand. ❞ ❝ they are still behind us. they are taking us one by one. ❞ ❝ cry if you must. in your place, i would likely rip my hair out. ❞ ❝ would you wake me, please? i’m having this terrible nightmare. ❞ ❝ i know what it is like to love so greatly you can think of nothing else. ❞ ❝ if truth be told, i’m bored with your company. ❞ ❝ i am tired of fighting you. what say we make a truce? ❞ ❝ no man grows rich by kindness. ❞ ❝ it is well you did not lie to me. i would have known. ❞ ❝ the blood of my enemies i will shed gladly. the blood of innocents is another matter. ❞ ❝ i do not know who you are, and it may be that’s for the best. someone important, i fear. ❞ ❝ is every word you say a lie? ❞ ❝ why should i tell you my name? you haven’t told me yours. ❞ ❝ you are weak as a child, and no warrior. ❞ ❝ if i look back i am lost. ❞ ❝ if you lie to me, i will have your tongue. ❞ ❝ you’ve grown more amusing since last we met. ❞ ❝ i wonder if i might have a few private words? ❞ ❝ i dreamed a dream, no more. go back to sleep. ❞ ❝ this is a bad place, is it not? a dark place, and foul. ❞ ❝ i did not intend to give offence. forgive me. ❞ ❝ you have never feared to speak the truth, why do you lie to yourself? ❞ ❝ the music’s still playing. might i have this dance? ❞ ❝ your eyes give the lie to your tongue. ❞ ❝ let me go now. for our friendship, wish me luck and let me go ❞ ❝ a wise man never makes an enemy of a king. ❞ ❝ this must be our last time together. the danger is too great. ❞ ❝ some day try thinking before you speak. ❞ ❝ i have a dragon’s temper, that’s all. you must not let it frighten you. ❞ ❝ you must not be saying such things, even in jest. ❞ ❝ what we want is not always what we get. ❞ ❝ put up that sword now, unless you want to be hurt. ❞ ❝ sometimes a man knows more than he says. ❞ ❝ when i don’t fancy a man’s eyes, i put an arrow through one. ❞ ❝ my heart is full of doubts. ❞ ❝ in times like this, we must make do as best we can. ❞ ❝ i never dreamed how quick the sweet would turn to sour. ❞ ❝ my skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. ❞ ❝ the stink of death is fresh on you. ❞ ❝ you have repaid betrayal with betrayal, let it end. ❞ ❝ the higher the man climbs the farther he has to fall. ❞ ❝ i was hoping one look at this sweet face of mine would be enough to persuade you all of my innocence. ❞ ❝ after all the storms we’ve suffered, you should trust me better. ❞ ❝ you can kill your enemies, but can you rule your friends? ❞ ❝ could there be honor in a lie, if it were told for a good purpose? ❞ ❝ i am the monster they all say i am. ❞ ❝ pray excuse me, i need to hit someone very hard with a sword. ❞ ❝ you did your best to kill me. perhaps i ought to return the favor. ❞ ❝ you do, don’t you? you take me for a fool. ❞ ❝ we’re all just songs in the end, if we’re lucky. ❞ ❝ there is a long league’s worth of difference between wilful and stupid. ❞ ❝ you...a man like you brings blood with him. ❞ ❝ when did i make so many enemies? ❞ ❝ i must be strong. if i despair, my grief will consume me. ❞ ❝ give me sweet lies, and keep your bitter truths. ❞ ❝ i know what it is to be betrayed by men you trusted. ❞ ❝ all my victories turn to dross in my hands. ❞ ❝ it is a pleasure to look on you again, even in such trying times. ❞ ❝ are you scared? have you lost your belly for fighting? ❞ ❝ you were so long, i feared something had gone amiss. ❞ ❝ any man who must say ‘i am king’ is no true king at all. ❞ ❝ always keep your foes confused. if they are never certain who you are or what you want, they cannot know what you are like to do next. ❞ ❝ small men curse what they cannot understand. ❞ ❝ if you’re lying to me again, you won’t be leaving here alive. ❞ ❝ it all goes back and back to our mothers and fathers and theirs before them. we are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us. ❞ ❝ when you know what a man wants you know who he is, and how to move him. ❞ ❝ a pure world. i do not belong here. ❞ ❝ you make me sorry that i am not the monster you would have me be. ❞ ❝ i crossed a thousand leagues to come to you, and lost the best part of me along the way. don't tell me to leave. ❞ ❝ my big mouth will be the death of me, i swear it. ❞ ❝ we have suffered much, and there is more peril and more grief ahead. ❞ ❝ i...i suppose i earned that. ❞ ❝ begging for help never gets you any. ❞ ❝ you’re not made to lie. you blush and squeak and stammer. ❞ ❝ one day you must tell me all. the good and the bad. ❞ ❝ and there is stands, miserable as it is. my ancestral home. ❞ ❝ whatever i do, all i make is death and horror. ❞ ❝ it is safer to walk in darkness here. there are things you would not wish to see. ❞ ❝ you have a certain cunning, but the plain truth is you talk too much. ❞ ❝ that might have hurt me once, when i still felt pain. ❞ ❝ we will fight a battle, and then we will rest. alive or dead, we'll rest. ❞ ❝ every man must die. but first he must live. ❞ ❝ all night i have been making songs for you in my head. ❞ ❝ my blood, my body, my songs, you own them all. ❞ ❝ if you lie i’ll punch your face. ❞ ❝ what a fight that was, and what a foe. ❞ ❝ be quiet. i will tell you when you can speak. ❞ ❝ forgive me. you have to forgive me. ❞ ❝ never lie to me. never betray me. ❞ ❝ there are two sorts of people. the players and the pieces. ❞ ❝ the only thing i value less than my life right now is yours. ❞ ❝ perhaps i should leave you here to rot if you’re going to be so discourteous. ❞ ❝ i hadn’t forgotten, though i hoped you had. ❞ ❝ i can still bite and kick. i’ll die with the taste of blood in my mouth, that’s something. ❞ ❝ you bray like an ass, and make no more sense. ❞ ❝ you do not belong here. this is not your place. ❞ ❝ i’m not going back to sleep. my head is all a tumult. ❞ ❝ some doors are best left closed. ❞ ❝ it does not matter how brave or brilliant a man is, if his commands cannot be heard. ❞ ❝ a man who fears battle wins no victories. ❞ ❝ you’re not half bad with a sword, but you’re not good enough to take on two hundred men by yourself. ❞ ❝ that is a good color on you. it goes well with your eyes. ❞ ❝ if blood is what you wish, then let it flow. ❞ ❝ i liked you well enough...but i never trusted you. a man needs to earn my trust. ❞ ❝ it is good to see you know who i am. ❞ ❝ i have told you no lies. yet there have been truths i have withheld. ❞ ❝ pardon me if i do not weep for you. ❞ ❝ you’ll find nothing here but death. ❞ ❝ don’t...don’t talk like this. you’re scaring me. ❞ ❝ you must be very brave or very stupid. ❞ ❝ i gave you the truth. you owe me the same. ❞ ❝ that loose tongue of yours will be your undoing. ❞ ❝ i must have fire in my eyes when i face them, not tears. ❞ ❝ it will take more than an arrow to kill you. ❞ ❝ the sound’s inside, it’s in here with us, and it’s getting louder. ❞ ❝ see? we know each other too well. ❞ ❝ you meddle in matters you do not understand. ❞ ❝ i have no luck. i have never had any bloody luck. ❞ ❝ do all gods feel so lonely? ❞ ❝ you are strangely quiet. how do you feel, i wonder? ❞ ❝ stop trying to think up ways to kill me. none of it will do you any bit of good. ❞ ❝ all you need to do is take my hand, come on. ❞ ❝ we’re together, just as you’ve always wanted, just as we’ve always planned. ❞ ❝ wars are won with quills and ravens. ❞ ❝ if only i had my sword, nothing could harm me. ❞ ❝ a valiant deed unsung is no less valiant. ❞ ❝ there are wolves in these woods, and worse things. ❞ ❝ say nothing of what we’ve discussed here today. to anyone. ❞ ❝ you’d best go. you’re making me angry. ❞ ❝ fear cuts deeper than swords. ❞ ❝ an ill-omened name. i have asked you not to use it. ❞ ❝ you cannot hide from me. come closer, now. ❞ ❝ there’s no cause for all these tears. ❞ ❝ it is good that you have woken, but you must give yourself time to heal. ❞ ❝ there is no honor in hiding and sneaking. ❞ ❝ come with me. we have to get away from here, and now. ❞ ❝ kings are falling like leaves this autumn. ❞ ❝ you don’t know half as much as you think you do. ❞ ❝ you seem so sombre. is aught amiss? ❞

#roleplay meme #roleplay starters #rp meme #rp starters

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okchijt · 10 months

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Hey can you do eddsworld the main 4 with a s/o romantic head cannons

Author's Note: Thank you so much Anon for the request! So sorry it took so long in advance, I just finished my finals so I was really excited about this one and had a lot of fun with it! Hope you'll like it and that I didn't portray anyone OOC😅 And lastly, go ahead and check out my masterlist if you like what you just read and if you want to request anything yourself, thank you, and enjoy!❤

Edd

🟢 Edd would be the type of boyfriend that just wants to chill out and hang out with his partner. He's a very casual guy in every sense of the word, and so would be the relationship with him, with some physical contact and romantic gestures sprinkled in occasionally.

🟢 One of the most defining traits of your relationship is humor! You'd share inside jokes together and create made-up words only you two would understand, making the people Tom around you go insane over the nonsense you tell each other while laughing.

"How did the Coca-Cola can feel after being steamrolled?"

"It was soda pressed!"

"I fucking hate both of you"

Basically, Edd would do anything just to make you smile/laugh, no matter how stupid it might be, if he knows you find it amusing he'll say/do anything just to see your expression!

🟢 Edd likes to draw you a lot, you could be sitting, washing the dishes, playing with Ringo, reading, playing a game, etc, whatever you're doing, he will draw it! He just can't help himself, you look adorable to him no matter what you're doing so he just can't resist himself! Most of the time he'll try to be sneaky about it so you wouldn't notice so he can capture you on paper perfectly, smiling the whole time because you're his favorite thing to draw! Sometimes if he feels happy enough with the finished product, he'd present it to you shyly, hoping you'd like it.

🟢 Be grateful, because you're the only one that Edd allows to go anywhere his cola and even drink it! Being with him gives you the privilege of doing so without asking, normally if anyone else would even lay a hand on his favorite drink they'd have a rabid Edd to fight off, but with you, it's like he doesn't even notice! Which by itself says a lot about how much he loves you!

🟢 Edd might not seem like a great listener, which is true, but when it comes to you, it's a different story. Whether you just want to talk about your day or info dump him about your new hyper fixation, he'll listen to it all with a smile on his face, commenting on the things you said or asking questions. When you vent, he makes sure that you know his full attention is on you and you only. He'll listen to everything you have to say while rubbing your shoulder and once you're done, he'll hug you and try to give you some kind of advice or reassurance, even though he isn't the best at this type of stuff, he'll still try his best though. Because he can't stand to see you hurt.

🟢 Edds love language includes quality time and gift giving! He just loves spending time with you no matter what you're doing! If you're working and can't give him any attention, he'll just sit next to you or position himself where he's touching you in some type of way and just occupy himself with drawing while you do your thing. Whenever you're in a situation where you can't spend time with him, just simply letting him sit nearby and do his thing is enough for him to call it "spending time with you", cause honestly just being in the same room as you is enough for him.

🟢 As we established before, Edd likes to draw you. So logically gift giving for him is giving you drawings he made of you, you two together, or things that you like, like a favorite character or animal. He also takes requests from you whenever he doesn't have any idea of what to draw, and whatever you ask him to draw he will. When Edd has enough money, he'll spend it on some kind of gift for you that he knows you'll like. And he'll give it to you without expecting anything in return, all he needs is that excited expression of yours and a kiss on the cheek/lips and he knows spending the money was worth it.

🟢 PDA isn't one of Edd's main love languages, but he still does it to a casual degree. He's not overly clingy, but he's not distant either, he's more casual with the way he expresses his physical love to you. Like when you sit together on the couch he puts his arm around you or when you're walking on the street he holds your hand. Edd prefers to shower you with more bold PDA behind closed doors though, that's when he's the most romantic as well. He'll give you lots of cuddles and kisses, praising you and telling you how much he loves you as well. It's not that Edd is embarrassed to show this side of himself in front of others, he just feels like sharing those moments between the two of you makes it have more meaning behind it.

🟢 Edd is really opportunistic when it comes to kissing, and by that I mean he'll only do it if he feels like the moment is right or is in the mood to do so. Maybe you do something adorable, and he just can't help but kiss you wherever he can reach you first. Edd's kisses are sweet and gentle, he likes to hold you whenever he does so too. Outside of your lips, Edd likes to kiss you on the cheek the most, he finds it comforting and likes to think of it as teasing that instead of kissing you on the lips, he kisses the place closest to it, he likes feeling like a little shit sometimes, what can I say?

🟢 Will cuddle with you a lot, especially if it's a lazy day for him or he's feeling down. Edd likes to be the big and the little spoon when cuddling, it just depends on how he's feeling. As the big spoon, he'll press you to his chest while laying his head on top of yours. But as a little spoon, it's the opposite, he'll bury his head in your chest, giving you easy access to his hair. When I tell you this guy will immediately melt as soon as you start tangling your hands into his hair, you swear you can hear him purr sometimes as you play with it. Edd is honestly the best cuddling option you can get, he's extremely soft and during winter he will warm you up with no problem, and during summer he somehow is still great to cuddle with because his temperature changes with the climate you can say. Cuddling Edd is like hugging a giant soft teddy bear. Best feeling ever, I tell you!

🟢 Edd isn't clingy, but boy does he get jealous of you when he feels threatened by others sometimes! He doesn't really think much of other people interacting with you, if they're just being friendly and don't try to pull any moves on you he might even join in on the conversation or just let you have your fun while vaguely paying attention. But that all changes once he hears the other person starting to flirt with you and being a little bit too touchy for his liking. He'll pay closer attention to both of you as his expression changes from a neutral one to an irritated one, waiting for the right moment to step in as he forces himself to tolerate what's happening until he gets a clear sign from you that he should step in. As soon as he sees a sign of you getting uncomfortable he's already next to you as he puts his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them with reassurance as he gives the person a threatening smile as he says: "My partner and I need to go, goodbye!" And with that, Edd immediately pulls you away from the person and begins to drag you home. The whole way back, Edd would be uncharacteristically very touchy with you, he'd press you against him hard and hold your waist tightly as he grumbles under his breath over what happened. Jealous Edd is a rare sight for you, but when he is jealous he deals with the situation quickly and swiftly to avoid confrontation, his goal only being to get you out of the situation as fast as possible.

🟢 Dates with Edd range from casual to exciting ones! They both really depend on your/his mood, to be honest. He'd take you to a cat cafe and go crazy over the cats with you while drinking and eating delicious desserts. He loves taking you to arcades! It's an excuse for both of you to have fun while calling it a date simultaneously. Edd would just take you to places he knows you'll like or are located in the town you two live in. Though when an occasional theme park comes along, you bet Edd is dragging you there right away no questions asked! If it's a special day of yours or just an anniversary, Edd will try to be a little bit fancier and take you out somewhere nice, like a restaurant or to a movie that is extremely romantic/dramatic that he thinks you'll like or fit the "fancy" category he made up in his head.

🟢 Edd is the most basic type of boyfriend out there I tell ya! All he wants is to be with or near you all day and every day and that's all he needs! He doesn't need to have an especially romantic life with you, but he isn't neglectful either, he's just somewhere in the middle. He'll change on a whim though if you tell him to show one of his sides more often because he just wants to make you happy! He's the type of guy to shower his love on you in private while in public some people aren't even sure if you two are dating or not because of how casual he is. I think Edd in a way is near-perfect boyfriend material for does that find his specific traits attractive, and as one of those people I say he would make a great boyfriend!

Matt

🟣 Matt would be the type of boyfriend that wants to spend every single moment with you and to love you to no end type of guy. He's probably the most romantic out of the four of them, so he'd make sure all the moments you spend together show that.

🟣 It comes to everyone's surprise that someone like Matt would fall in love with someone who isn't him and even love them on the same level as he does, but here we are! To him, you are the most incredible thing in the world, someone he feels can even compete with his handsome face! He makes sure to remind you of that fact every day, because why wouldn't he? Your looks and personality are everything to him, so much so that he forgets about his narcissistic views sometimes.

🟣 In fact, Matt will do anything when it comes to helping you feel better about your appearance! Say you wanna try out a new haircut or wanna change your style, Matt is right there with you through all of it, even participating in the changes himself. He'd do your makeup, nails, hair, even skincare routine, whatever it is, Matt wants to be there and be a part of it, he calls it bonding time!

🟣 Matt doesn't usually care if other people appreciate his beauty like he does, to him only his opinion matters. But once you come into the picture, your opinion means the world to him! Anytime you compliment him, call him your: "Handsome man", or anything of that sort, this man is dying on the floor because of the amount of love and affection he's feeling because of you. No one else's opinion matters about his face or anything related to him, but yours and he makes sure you and everybody around you know that just by his reactions alone.

🟣 Since you two are dating, you are bound to get dragged by Matt to buy or find something to add to his novelty collection. You'd go on your own set of adventures for the sole purpose of expanding his collection. Matt really appreciates you going with him, it just shows to him how much you are willing to put up with for him. For some, his hobby just seems like something that doesn't matter or an inconvenience, but you don't, and he truly loves that about you. Matt 100% has a will written down somewhere that says: "If anything happens to me, give all of my novelty collection to (Y/N)''.

🟣 Matt's love language includes words of affirmation and quality time! Matt's main go-to to showing how much he loves you is showering you with praise any chance he gets! You could be looking like a hobo or a supermodel, but that man will still call you the most attractive person in the universe! Any accomplishment, whether large or small is immediately met with him congratulating you like you just won an Oscar! Not to mention whenever you feel insecure or just down, Matt will make does feelings go away in a matter of seconds because of how innocent his love for you is, he knows every right word to use to show you how much you mean to him. And he'll remind you of that fact every day no matter who you are or what you do.

🟣 You'd think Matt's second love language would be physical touch, but nope! It's quality time, baby! But I think you know that based on the examples above. The point is, anything you wanna do, Matt has to be there doing that thing with you too! No matter if it's work or something boring, he needs to be there with you! If you're busy he'll sit with you in a way where he's basically touching you and as soon as you show any discomfort or mutter that you need something, Matt is on the way to get it! Even if you didn't technically ask him to do so. He's basically like a lost puppy just following you around everywhere without a care in the world.

🟣 Matt loves PDA, he adores it! Both giving and receiving affection are one of his favorite things about being in a relationship with you! The only reason why it's not his main love language is because he finds the other two more intimate, but this easily takes third place! Unlike Edd, Matt isn't afraid to go all the way out with his affection towards you, private or in public he is all over you to some degree. Kisses, hugs, holding hands, cuddles, he will grab any chance he gets to touch you in some way. If he could Matt would glue himself to you so that he can always be with you, that's how clingy he is with his love for you.

🟣 Kisses with Matt are literally the most purest and innocent thing in the world! He holds you against him as you kiss as if you were glass, that's how gentle he is with you! Expect a lot of muffled giggles and pleased sighs whenever you two kiss, he's just so happy to have you in his life like this that he just can't help himself! Outside of your lips, Matt adores giving you kisses on the nose! He just finds it charming and adorable in a way, especially when you give him a reaction in the process, he finds them precious. It may be childish, but he's a childish man so that adds up, plus nose kisses are the best!

🟣 Cuddles with Matt are a must in a relationship with him! No occasion is needed for him to just wrap you in his arms and lay with you comfortably for hours at an end. Matt is both big and little spoon, mostly leaning towards little spoon though. When he's the one holding you, and not squeezing the living daylights out of you. Matt would be laying on his back while you lay on top of him, with your head on his chest as he kisses the top of your head every now and then as his arms are tightly but comfortably wrapped around your upper back. But as a little spoon, Matt crawls himself into a ball as he buries himself into your chest, wanting to make it easier for you to hold him. He basically feels like a giant teddy bear! Though I won't recommend cuddling with Matt during winter without a blanket, man is always cold! But during summer, it's a different story, he's basically a cooler during the warm seasons, so literally perfect!

🟣 As established, Matt is clingy af so there's no surprise that the man will act super threatened as soon as he sees others laying their dirty hands on you in a flirty way. Until Matt senses a disturbance in the force, he'll tolerate the person interacting with you if it's just in a friendly way and if you clearly don't mind them talking with you as well. But as soon as the person enters the danger zone where they start to get flirty with you, Matt will glare daggers at them as a silent threat to get them to back off. Alongside that, he'll tug at your clothes gently and whine to you that you need to go with him as he stares at you with puppy eyes. If all of that fails and the rando will try to put his hands on you, Matt immediately jumps into action! Clinging to your back like a possessive koala as he smacks the person's hand away and screams: "NO! This gem is mine! Go find yours somewhere else!'' And with that, he picks you up by the waist with his arms wrapped around it and shuffles away like an awkward penguin while holding you with a big pout on his face. He'll only put you down once he calms down a bit or you protest hard enough, and once he does you better give him lots of kisses and reassurances as you let him cling to you in any way he can as you two head back home with a still slightly upset Matt.

🟣 Matt takes his dates seriously, that's why he always puts in the effort to make them super romantic! He'd take you to places any partner would on a typical date, movies, dinner, picnic in the park, star gazing, etc. With Matt, there is no such thing as a normal date, only the best of the best for his beloved! He'll dress up super fancy and always have some kind of gift with him to give you every time. Though Matt would be happy to comply with any date idea you have, elegant/traditional dates are always his go-to because of the romantic meaning behind them by society's and his standards.

🟣 Matt is the most loving and clingiest boyfriend out there, your existence alone makes him swoon so he doesn't need much outside of his novelty collection to be happy! He's utterly devoted to you and makes sure to show you that each and every day of your relationship, so much so that everybody around you two already knows you two are together without being told so. Matt would be the perfect boyfriend for those that want to feel loved to the extreme and feel appreciated by someone, and you'd feel all of that every day with him! Top-tier boyfriend material, I tell you! No complaints here!

Tom

🔵 Tom would be the type of boyfriend that isn't really great when it comes to relationships, but for you, he tries his very best to at least be decent. He'd purposefully try to go out of his comfort zone just to prove his love for you, wanting to show you that he actually cares even when he isn't the best at showing so sometimes, but he tries!

🔵 First of all, this mad lad broke up with his bass: Susan for you so that better show just how much he cares and loves you if he picked you over his most beloved bass! Speaking of Susan, Tom often makes up songs that he plays on his bass about/for you. To which you'd always have to beg him to play you some cause he's super embarrassed about them, but with enough reassurance, he'd play you some! And if you reward him with compliments or a kiss, he may just be inclined to show you more, gaining confidence each time.

🔵 And while on the subject of music! You two would always share/recommend each other's music taste! Tom really likes listening to the same music as you whether it's yours or his, he really enjoys the moment because it's just so intimate to him. You'd share headphones, you having one bud in your ear while Tom has the other, forcing each other to stay close, which Tom secretly enjoys very much as he can't help himself but relax each time you two do that.

🔵 We all know Tom's alcohol problem, especially with his favorite: Smirnoff, which he drinks any time he can. But when you two get into a relationship, Tom tries to step back from his alcoholism for your sake. Sure, he'd gladly drink with you if you'd like, but he'd actually pay attention to the amount he's drinking and stop once enough is enough. To be honest, your existence and the relationship make him want to be better for you, and that means acknowledging his problem and overcoming it step by step.

🔵 Whether you are someone that loves Christmas or hates it, depending on which, Tom will try his best to not ruin it for you and match your energy! If you're a Christmas lover, Tom wouldn't exactly act happy about the holiday with you, but you can tell he's really trying to hold back any negative comments about the holiday for your sake. Tom may hate Christmas, but he loves you enough to try his best to not ruin the holiday for you better reward him with affection afterwards cause boy does he need it! But if you're a Christmas hater, then you already know Tom is ruining the holiday with you while calling it a date!

🔵 Tom's love language includes acts of service and physical touch! Out of everything, Tom finds it easiest to express his love for you by doing things for you whether you asked him or not. It's because he can do it without overthinking whether what you're doing is okay or not because doing something for someone else naturally makes that person happy! You could have cooked something for you two and only stepped away for a second, only to come back and see Tom already doing the dishes and insisting that he's got it covered and that you go rest. Maybe you have a pet that needs to be let out or fed and you can't get out of bed to do so, you don't even need to ask and Tom is already on it and doing it for you with no complaints, not even expecting anything in return while doing so.

🔵 One wouldn't expect that one of the main two love languages Tom has is physical touch, but here we are! Tom is actually extremely touch-starved, but won't allow himself to be touched or touch someone else until he feels 100% safe with them. At the beginning of the relationship it took a while for Tom to open himself up to such affections, but the way you took things slow and steady for him really helped and he allowed himself to feel vulnerable with you. Tom loves to give you hugs from behind, you'll be doing something while standing and all of a sudden two arms wrap around you and you can feel his head burry itself in the crock of your neck. At that point he can't live without touching you, you're his rock and he needs you to feel stable and safe. He's always touching you in some way, no matter what you're doing or what position you are in.

🔵 PDA and physical touch are basically the same things, right? Anyways, while out in public Tom is way more reserved with you because he doesn't appreciate strangers staring at the two of you, he'd still be okay with hand-holding or a kiss on his favored spot every now and then, but in private? Tom goes crazy in private, (not as crazy as Matt or Tord but still!) Basically, any opportunity he gets to show you his love for you in a physical manner he takes it. It doesn't matter what you're doing, he is touching you in one way or another. Like I said, you are his rock, his safe haven, and without you near him he'd go crazy, so holding you, kissing, hugs, hand-holding, and everything else in between is what he'll shower you daily with! Please hold him too every once in a while, Lord knows he needs it and may even have a mental breakdown from the affection alone, but he loves it I promise.

🔵 In the beginning Tom was very awkward when it came to kissing, but he eventually got the hang of it and became more comfortable! They were also very unsure and timid at the beginning, forcing you to take the lead, but with each kiss, Tom became more confident, and now he likes to kiss you with slow passion, savoring the intimate closeness with you. Besides your lips, Tom's other favorite spot to kiss you is your forehead. It's just so sweet, gentle, and innocent to him that he sometimes finds it even more intimate than a kiss on the lips. He usually kisses your forehead when you do something that he just really appreciates whether you meant it or not. Maybe you fixed the broken string in his bass for him and he'll just give you the most loving gaze and that gentle smile as he grabs your face and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead as a thanks. He just finds forehead kisses soothing, what can I say?

🔵 Cuddles=physical touch, so Tom enjoys if not loves them a lot! Tom has a preference for being the big spoon over the little spoon. As the big spoon, it literally feels as if Tom is trying to fuse with you by how hard, he's pressing you against him. You both would be lying at your sides as Tom has his arms wrapped tightly around your lower back and his head buried in your hair as he lets the scent of your shampoo ease him. Though Tom has a stronger preference for being the big spoon, he won't complain if you're the one who wants to hold him, especially if he's feeling vulnerable that day. You'd be lying at your sides again, but he'd have his back turned to you as you hug him from behind and run your hands up and down his arms/hands to soothe him, as he feels too embarrassed to face you when he's in his low state. Again, I'm sorry but just like Matt, Tom is always cold and you'd need a blanket with you whenever you two cuddle, except for summer though, cuddling with Tom during summer feels like heaven!

🔵 As said before, Tom loves physical affection and he views you as his safe heaven basically, so he isn't much of a fan when other people touch you, but if it's a friend or you allow the action yourself, there isn't much he can do but to tolerate it. But if it's someone that's trying to get with you, that's a different story! Tom makes it plainly obvious that he hates the person just by looking at them with that huge grimace and annoyed expression on his face as soon he can tell that they are flirting with you. Unlike Edd, Tom won't wait for a sign from you or anything like that, as soon as his feelings of feeling threatened are made correct by the actions of the person flirting with you he is right by your side, hugging you from behind possessively as he puts his head on your shoulder and says: "Hey babe, is this guy bothering you?" And just from his words and actions alone, the rando gets the hint you're already taken and leaves immediately with an apology. Apology or not, that does not stop Tom from glaring daggers at the person as you drag him away back home, having to soothe him with words of affection as he grumbles under his breath about wanting to choke the person.

🔵 Tom is very awkward with dates and finds them super complicated to arrange, man doesn't have much experience with dating and wants the best for you, so he tries his best to make the dates the best they can be! Tom would never admit it, but he'd be looking up advice online on where to take his partner on a date and go based on that, which means Tom doesn't really have a specific type of date he goes on with you, it's mainly whatever the best thing he can find online, he goes with. You ain't complaining though, cause those dates range from romantic dinners to the aquarium to a musical, to a picnic! No matter what it is or where you go, your boyfriend always makes sure you're having fun.

🔵 Tom is the most awkward boyfriend that doesn't know what he's doing but tries his best anyway just to make the relationship work. He may not always understand what he's supposed to do as a boyfriend or how to do it because he is always internally freaking out if what's he doing actually works, but he'd never once make you feel like he doesn't love you. He'd remind you of that fact every day in any way he can, whether large or small. Your existence keeps him sane and happy, so he'll do anything he can just to keep you at his side, even if he doesn't always know what he's doing.

Tord

🔴 Tord would be the type of boyfriend that thinks he knows what he's doing while being a huge show off while doing so, but in reality, he has no idea how being in love and dating works. Still, he sure acts like he does cause he feels insanely confident in a relationship because he thinks it's easy and he knows what he's doing (it isn't and he doesn't) But he rarely makes you suspect that over how nice a relationship with him is!

🔴 Tord is very open with his love for guns, especially when he pulls one out of nowhere before shooting something. Even though Tord doesn't mind showing you off his shooting skills, in fact, he loves it, but he will not allow you to touch his weapon at all! No amount of reassurance will make him trust you or himself enough to give you such a weapon. He just fears something might go wrong, if there's anyone else's safety he's more worried about it than his, it's yours and he will never put your life in danger willingly no matter what.

🔴 He'd show you his little inventions like the couch one or something like that and gets giddy when you show interest in them and praise him for them. He'd never show you his dangerous inventions though, like his giant robot out of fear of losing you, but if you have an invention request for him, Tord is more than happy to make it come true! Any nondangerous gadget is at your disposal any time you want and is free to use without asking, which means something because very few people have this sort of privilege from him.

🔴 So we all know Tord likes to smoke his cigars, well, similar to Tom with his alcohol problem, he will try to smoke less if not stop entirely at one point just for your sake. Whether you made a comment about his smoking habit or not, he's sure his smoke breath just after he finished his cigar doesn't feel really good when you two kiss. So he'd try his best to lessen doing it, or at least not smoke before he gets to spend time with you just so that he doesn't smell too bad.

🔴 Tord would be the type of boyfriend to lend you his clothes but on purpose! You won't need to ask for his hoodie or anything before he one day walks up to you with his hoodie and gives it to you without a word before walking away. If you comply and wear his clothes, expect to have his eyes always on you with a flirty smirk to match. He just can't help himself but feel oddly satisfied and honored for you to wear his clothes that are always too big for you, he finds it adorable and a way of marking you by having something of him with you, but he'd never tell you that of course.

🔴 Tord's love language is unsurprisingly physical touch and words of affirmation! Out of the main four, it was given that Tord would love physical touch a ton! Tord normally isn't a touchy person at all, he avoids having physical contact with most people like the plague, but with you? It's the opposite! The second you get together he's all over you in any way and every day he can! He saves the special affection for people that mean the most to him, and you just happened to be his entire world so he makes sure you receive the attention you deserve! Sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around you? Check. Eating together with your knees touching? Check. Driving and sitting next to each other with his hand on your thigh? Check. Just any scenario with him having his hands on you in some way is always possible with Tord. He just feels safe and comfortable being this close to you, he doesn't show it, but Tord deals with a lot of anxiety and paranoia over the things he hides from you and his friends. It can get a lot sometimes, and the only way for him to let it all out is through physical contact with you.

🔴 Tord lives for giving you physical affection, but words of affirmation are exactly on the same level for him! Tord is a natural flirt that can come up with a pick-up line on the fly without trying, that's how good he is! But flirting isn't the only way he'll verbalize his love for you, a simple thought-out compliment or praise is what you'll hear from him a lot as well. Maybe you're working on something and are getting tired of it but you have to push through when you suddenly get interrupted by Tord appearing out of nowhere as he rubs your back reassuringly and tells you how great you're doing and to remember to take breaks etc. Just like with Matt, whatever you do, and no matter what the outcome of it was, or no matter how insecure you are, you will always be met with praise from him as he kisses you all over your face. Overall, just imagine yourself in any scenario just like the one before and Tord will find an excuse to flirt/compliment/praise you.

🔴 PDA and Tord are like best friends, why would he stop showering you with love in public when you clearly deserve all of the attention you can get? He's the same as Matt honestly, there is just no stopping him from kissing, hugging, hand-holding, etc, no matter where you two are. His love for you both in public and in private is the exact same, he just wants the whole world to know who you belong to and just wants to show your relationship off! Plus Tord doesn't feel any need to tone down the affection out in public, why should he? He barely pays attention to the random people on the street anyway because all of his attention is on you, everything else just doesn't matter when he's with you so he acts like it with his affections.

🔴 Kisses with Tord happen literally almost every minute and yet he always manages to find a way to make the next one more amazing than the last. He wants you to love and remember every moment of it as he slowly but sensually moves his lips against yours with that stupid smirk on his face and half-lid eyes that scan you with satisfaction. Tord is always confident when kissing you, so there's no hesitation coming from him before his lips are on yours while holding you so close you can barely move. And all of that is what I just described how kissing with Tord looks and feels like all the time. Outside of the lips though, Tord's other favorite spot to kiss you is to no one's surprise, your neck! It doesn't even need to be sexual, he just loves to kiss you there! The reactions you give him as you stiff at his sudden touch to the neck before you slowly relax and maybe let your voice out once in a while if Tord feels like teasing you a bit with his cheeky kisses. He is a pervert after all, so you can imagine he enjoys the show you give him sometimes immensely.

🔴 Same as with Tom and Matt, Tord lives for cuddles with you! Sorry, to say but Tord is always the big spoon, under no circumstance would he willingly put himself in a vulnerable position that we call the "little spoon". The only way for that to happen is you'd walk in on him in an uncharacteristically vulnerable moment, you both know he won't reveal what made him so upset so the only thing you can think of is to lay down and hug him from behind, pressing yourself against him tightly as you whisper reassuring words into his ear. Tord would never admit it, but he really appreciated the gesture, but you won't catch him asking to be a little spoon after that, it's just not his thing. What his thing is being the big spoon though! He is literally wrapped around you like a koala the whole cuddle session, you'd be pressed against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist and his legs entangled with yours as he lays his head on top of yours. Unlike the two before him, Tord is always warm, so cuddling during the summer is always a pain, especially because Tord can't go a single day without multiple cuddles. But during winter you cannot be more glad than to have a literal fireplace as a boyfriend!

🔴 Tord feels like everyone is a threat to your relationship with a few exceptions constantly, even if the person in question is just a friend or someone that truly means no harm Tord will always feel like he's competing over you with them. As soon as he realizes the person's intentions with you he'd glare daggers at them with an almost silent animalistic growl coming from him as crossed arms almost rip the fabric of his hoodie from how tightly he's holding the fabric. As soon as the person's hands start to move towards you in an attempt to touch you, in a blink of an eye Tord is right behind you as he grabs your shoulders and possesivly presses your back against his chest. ''Get lost before I make you" If looks could kill the rando would have been already on the floor dead from the terrifying threat and expression Tord had on his face. Before you realize what's happening the person is already bolting in the opposite direction, you only snap out of it once you feel Tord's grip on you loosen as he looks at you with a satisfied smile before grabbing your hand and walking back home. It's almost as if the situation is already forgotten by him altogether, but it isn't, in fact, he'll have that memory of you getting hit on for a while before he gets over it. He just chooses not to show you how much the situation has impacted him for your sake, though he would really appreciate a kiss or two with some reassurance as you two head home, it'll make him feel better faster.

🔴 Tord legit has no idea what he's doing when it comes to dates. Just like Tom, he'd look up advice online on how to make "the perfect date" for you. The dates he'd typically settle on are the ones he knows you'd love to go to, he'd pay special attention in conversations where you mention a specific place you'd love to go to and immediately write it down as one of the places he should take you to. Literally, anything you want he will make it happen, restaurant, theme park, cinema, arcade, etc, just name it and you're going there! Tord already knows you're enjoying yourself because he purposefully took you somewhere you wanted to go, but he'd always try to make the date even more fun with various shenanigans he does to make you laugh, making dates more memorable than they would've originally been.

🔴 Tord is the embodiment of a boyfriend that wants nothing more but to make you the center of his world if not the universe. If someone like him could get with someone like you then it's only right he makes you feel like the most special person in the world! And just like Matt, he's perfect for those that need/want to be reminded of that fact every day, whether you want it or not Tord is basically worshiping you and he'll make sure you don't forget that fact either! Honestly, you're the only reason why he hasn't taken over the world yet, you'll never know that fact personally, but it's true!

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littleskeletonprincessss · 8 months

Note

Heyyyy yknow what we were just talking about? So, maybe you should write Schlatt getting mad and fucking the shit out of you

-In any context-

I’m totally not just asking this so I can complete all the drafts I have

Heyyyy, i'm going to use what we were talking about as the scenario for this. (For anyone confused, you can go read the post here (you definitely SHOULD go read it because) but tldr, Schlatt would throw a bitch fit trying to put a tent up. (The SHELTER kind, you filthy rats)

also, was definitely listening to ysf audio while doing this which kinda helped. Definitely recommend him if you haven't heard.

Just some HCs:

It definitely would have taken weeks and a couple blowjobs to convince Schlatt to take you camping.

When he finally gave in, the process didn't go smooth AT ALL.

You both somehow forgot to actually make reservations at a camping site, but you reassured him that you didn't need a campsite, you could just drive into the mountains somewhere.

So anyway it starts POURING rain.

And his car is getting dirty driving through all the mud puddles trying to find a place

Side note I think Schlatt is definitely the kind of man who babies his stupid car.

As much as he babies you, if not more

When you finally find a clearing, and the rain stopped, you both got out to set up camp

But come to find out the instructions for your tent were nowhere to be found.

Schlatt being who he is, insisted with every ounce of pride in his body, that he could figure the damn thing out.

He definitely muttered lots of swear words under his breath, along with the whole idea of this stupid trip

You'd been unloading the bed supplies and when you were done you noticed it was getting darker

So you innocently asked Schlatt if he wanted a little bit of help when you noticed that he'd made no progress

"No I don't want you goddamn help. I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Schlatt, come on, it's getting dark, let me help."

"Shut the fuck up. This whole stupid camping trip was your idea in the first place."

You could see Schlatt's eyes darken with anger and frustration and fuck was it hot.

"No."

Was it a good idea to say that right now? Oh absolutely fucking not. Did you care? Absolutely fucking not.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"You heard me."

Schlatt would stand up, throwing the bag of stakes down and walk to the pile of blankets before grabbing a big one off the top.

"I thought I fucking did. Fuck this fucking dumbass tent, I can blow your back out right here, now lay the fuck down."

After Schlatt would spread the blanket out you'd lay down on the slightly damp ground, barely having time to move a rock from under your back before Schlatt was pressing hard kisses against your neck, sucking harsh bruises.

"What, I don't even get a kiss first?"

Schlatts hand would immediately be on your throat.

"You need to shut your goddamn mouth. Make me drive to the middle of bum fuck nowhere with a stupid tent that won't stay up."

Schlatt would break up his sentences with nips to your neck.

His other hand would hold both of your above your head, pinning your wrists.

The nice thing about being in the middle of nowhere was you could be as loud as you needed and Schlatt made it his personal goal sometime to make you break the world record for loudest noise ever made.

He'd waste no time getting both of you naked so he could just fuck you already and sink the tent he never had trouble getting up between your thighs.

And he'd go HARD.

Taking every bit of anger out on you

"Yeah, that's my little bitch. Just a fucking little cumslut for me aren't you doll? That's all your good for apparently, since you can only come up with stupid ideas like camping"

"Open your fucking mouth." he'd say before spitting in it. "That's it, sweetheart, take it."

Man would go for hours he was so pent up, both of you coming multiple times together.

After he'd finally calmed down, when the sun was just coming up, he'd pull his underwear back on before dressing you in the warm pajamas you'd brought

Just some of his sweats and his Wilson hoodie

before wrapping you in a clean blanket and bridal carrying you to the passenger seat of the car

He'd get dressed and pack everything up before sliding in to his sit and leaning over the console to kiss you.

"You okay baby?"

Schlatt is aftercare king, always.

"Mmm" you'd mumble quietly

Starting the car, Schlatt would start driving home.

You'd turn to watch the trees pass by out the window before glancing in the rearview mirror.

"Schlatt I think you forgot the tent."

"Nope."

And he'd drive away without another word leaving a pile of canvas behind you.

Anyway sorry this was shit. <3

#schlatt #schlatt x reader #jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt smut #jschlatt smut

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foxaftershocks · 17 days

Text

In the Field (Lars Pinfield x f!Reader)

Synopsis: You finally get the chance to go into the field and meet a ghost in the wild.

Words: 2.9k

Be warned, there will be much discussion of slime inside

It wasn’t often you were allowed in the field. You were much more used to sitting behind a desk, tinkering away with the new tech. You only ever saw ghosts in a safe, contained environment. Lars had made it perfectly clear that you were to stay behind and run interference from the lab. Someone needed to be able to do the remote stuff for him according to him.

But this time the Ghostbusters were a man down and they needed some backup. You suited up, strapped on your proton pack, and hopped in the van with the rest of the equipment. Sitting shotgun beside Lars, you watched the city zoom past, the siren loud in your ears. You were smiling to yourself, ignoring the way Lars eyes kept darting over to you.

“Just remember, this isn’t about having fun,” he said.

“Yeah, but it’s a bit fun though, right?” you asked, smiling over at him.

His eyes darted you for a moment, looking less than impressed before returning to rad. Your grin settled more deeply on your face and you could feel yourself bouncing in your seat. You watched him instead, his sure movements making you feel a little hot under the collar. His eyes flicked back to you then quickly away again when he noticed you watching him.

“Be careful,” he said as he pulled up curb side, “it could be dangerous in there.”

“Aw, are you worried about my safety?” you asked, turning towards him.

He didn’t answer, climbing from the van and slamming the door. you laughed to yourself, joining him on the street with the rest of the team. Lars was already handing out the new tech, leaving you looking up at the old hotel towering above you.

“Hey Pheebs,” you said, getting the teenager’s attention.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“What kind of dog does a chemist have?” you asked.

“I don’t know. What kind of dog does a chemist have?” she asked, playing along.

“A lab…radore,” you replied, grinning over at her.

Her lips quirked up into a small smile and you nudged her with your shoulder, smiling down at her.

“Hey, nice to see you out of the lab,” Gary said, joining the two of you considering the building.

“Thanks. I didn’t know fresh air could smell so fresh,” you replied.

“That’s why it’s called fresh air,” he replied.

“No way,” you said, pretending to sound amazed.

“Alright, everyone know the plan?” Callie asked before he could say anything else.

The general agreement was enough for the group to surge the entrance, proton packs at the ready. From there, you split off, peeling away from one another. You and Lars took the stairs to the higher levels, leaving the basement to the professionals.

The long hallways began to blend together as you walked behind Lars, looking at the readouts from your equipment. He had his headphones on, swiping the microphone past the doors. You found yourself watching him more then the equipment. It was probably for the best you didn’t spend much time with him in the field.

He was always a distraction to you.

The minutes stretched out, leaving the two of you in silence. You knew he said it wouldn’t be fun, but you didn’t think it would be this boring. Some excitement would have been nice.

“Hey, Lars?” you asked, jogging to walk beside him.

“I can’t listen if you talk,” he said.

“Why don’t you ever let me join you in the field?” you asked, looking up at him

He glanced down at you, looking less than impressed by your question.

“You know why,” he replied, “we need you doing the remote work. Will you let me listen now?”

“Why can’t you be the one doing the remote work sometimes?” you asked.

He sighed, barely containing a roll of his eyes. You snorted, looking down at the PKE meter in your hand, raising an eyebrow at the reading.

“Hey, Lars?” you said.

“I need silence to listen,” he said.

“Yeah, but Lars-“

“If you’re not going to take this seriously you can go stay in the van,” he interrupted.

“Okay but-“

He sighed, stopping as he turned to look at you. You froze, looking up from the PKE meter readings. He pulled the headphones from his ears leaving them hanging around his neck and if you weren’t so worried about the readings, the fierce look on his face might have been unspeakably attractive. As it was, you found your gaze drifting to something over his shoulder.

“We’re not here to mess around with ghosts. This is serious work. You can’t be messing around like you do in the lab,” he was saying but your attention was so focused on what was going on down the hall.

Phasing through the far wall, blue light was reaching out towards the two of you. Fog curled along the carpet, the air growing cold where it touched your bare skin. Lars hadn’t noticed yet, so focused on telling you off he was missing it. the ghost itself was tall, almost skeletal. It took slow steps down the hall, stretching above Lars, hair brushing the ceiling.

“Lars,” you said, interrupting him.

“What?” he snapped.

You pointed over his shoulder. He turned, slow to look up into the grinning face of the ghost. Its lips had pulled back, almost too far, exposing more teeth than anyone should show. One translucent hand reached out towards Lars, fingers curling as if threatening to squeeze his body once it had him in his hold. He took a stumbling step back.

You dropped the PKE meter, pulling your proton gun into your hands. You held it up, waiting to see what Lars would do. He told you to let him take lead, and you were trying but he seemed to be fumbling to pull his own proton gun free.

The ghost bent down until it was eye to eye with Lars. You watched as he froze, holding up both hands to it, trying to placate it. You held your breath.

“We don’t want to hurt you,” Lars said.

That was the wrong thing to say. The air grew colder and the ghost screamed in his face. Ectoplasm splashed into his body, coating him with enough force he went flying backwards. You managed to jump out of the way just in time, slamming into the wall. The ghost advanced, grinning down at Lars. He struggled, trying to wipe the slime from his glasses.

“Oi, chuckle brother. Look over here,” you shouted.

Lars’ eyes turned towards you as the ghost turned its head to look down at you. You steadied yourself for a moment, bracing yourself against the wall before letting the proton stream go free. It burst from the nozzle, red light and sizzling electricity slamming into the wall across from you. Making a worried noise, you turned it towards the ghost. The stream wrapped around its body, holding it in place.

“Hey, Lars,” you called down to him.

“What?” he demanded, still wiping at the slime on his glasses.

“Trap,” you shouted to him.

With a surprisingly practiced motion, he slid the trap he’d been holding along the carpeted floor until it was positioned under the ghost. You slammed your foot down on the pedal. It opened with a loud beep. Struggling with the gun, you forced the ghost down until it got caught in the vacuum of the trap, sucking down into it. You shut your gun off, taking your foot off the pedal, closing the trap and containing the ghost.

“What were you talking about? That was totally fun,” you said, looking down at the still smoking trap.

“Maybe for you.”

You turned. Lars was finally climbing to his feet, slime dripping from his body. You couldn’t help the giggle that came from you. You bit down on your lower lip, trying to stifle it but not managing very well.

“Come here,” you said.

He took a trudging step towards you. You met him half way, still giggling. Reaching up, you gently took his glasses from his face, wiping away the slime on your uniform. You were careful as you placed them back on his nose. He’d pushed his hair out of his face and although he was dripping, he’d done his best to wipe his face clean.

“There you go,” you said, voice low, as if the moment was private.

“Thanks,” he said.

“We make a good team,” you said.

He glanced over your shoulder at the trap. He stepped around you, picking it up and if you checked out his ass as he bent over that was no one’s business but your own.

“Let’s see if the others have captured any specimens,” he said, the moment you’d shared now broken.

“Sure.”

You followed behind him again, avoiding the dripping slime he left in his wake. The rest of the team was clustered in the foyer of the hotel, looking a little worse for wear.

“Did something explode?” you asked, joining their group.

“Yeah, it was awesome,” Gary said, wearing the vestiges of of the smoke on his face.

“Lars got slimed,” you said, “I had to save him. It was pretty awesome too.”

“Nice.”

The two of you shared a high five.

“So we’re done? We won?” Lars asked.

“Got a couple of bad boys right here,” Callie said, holding up some traps.

You took them from her, doing your best to avoid the smoke coming from them.

“Nice haul,” you said, “these are gonna be fun to study later. I can just feel it.”

“We should get these into the containment unit,” Lars said, taking the traps from you. He left a slime residue on your finger.

“Good work, guys,” you said over your shoulder as you followed Lars back to the van.

You climbed into the passenger seat, lying down some towels on the driver’s seat for when Lars joined you. He pulled open the door, traps stored safely in the back, and looked down at the towels.

“Protection,” you said at his questioning look.

He climbed in beside you, his flight suit stripped down, arms tied around his waist. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip, surprised at how much that look was working for you. He glanced at you before starting the van.

The drive back to the lab was quiet. You weren’t quite sure what to say to him and he didn’t even attempt to say anything to you. You kept stealing glances at him, missing the fact he was doing the same to you.

When you arrived back at the lab you split from him, taking the traps to the containment units while he cleaned up. The slime had begun to harden and flake off his body as he scratched at it. It was like he had a horrible skin condition. That wasn’t working for you so much.

You stripped out of your flight suit, getting back into your jeans and tank top. A bruise was beginning to bloom on your shoulder, presumably from where you hit the wall avoiding the slime. After depositing the ghosts into the containment unit you wandered back to your bench, wanting to note down the exact experience with the one you’d caught.

“I really don’t like ectoplasm.”

You startled, looking up. Lars had approached your bench, blond hair still wet, dressed in a t-shirt and some sweatpants. Your mouth went dry and you knew you were staring but you couldn’t help it. Usually dressed in a button up shirt and a tie, this casual look was making you feel feral, like you wanted to sink your teeth into him. He was rubbing a towel through his hair, doing his best to dry it.

“Does anyone?” you managed to ask.

He looked up at you, his glasses askew and a small smile curling up the corners of his lips. You loved this small shared moments in the lab, right when you were the last two there, the lights dimmed, the dark pushing in from the outside.

“You did well today,” he said, surprising you.

“You think? Maybe I could start coming out more often,” you said.

“You’re hurt,” he said.

His fingers brushed over the bruise on your shoulder. You shivered under his touch and he snatched his hand back.

“Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t,” you said, shaking your head, surprised by how much you wanted his fingers back on your skin.

“This is why you can’t come out into the field,” he said, voice hardening, turning away from you.

“Why? You just said I did well today.” You couldn’t keep up with him and his changing moods.

“You got hurt,” he said, voice tight.

“So? The others get hurt all the time and you don’t ban them from busting,” you said.

“Because they’re not you,” he said, whirling to face you again.

“What?” It felt as if the air had been forced from your lungs.

“I can’t see you hurt. It.. I’m not…” he thrust his fingers into his hair, clenching in his frustration, “I won’t see you hurt again.”

“Lars,” you said softly, standing from your stool, reaching a hand out to him.

“I can’t concentrate if I’m worrying about you being hurt. That’s why I tell you to do the remote work. That’s why you can’t do any more field work,” he said.

Your hand landed on his shoulder, index finger running along the collar of the t-shirt. You saw him shudder but didn’t stop, even when you brushed against the skin of his neck. You took a half step closer, staring up into his frustrated face, your other hand clutching the soft cotton of the shirt closer to bellybutton.

“And how do you think when you’re out there and I’m stuck behind a screen? You go out and I’ve seen you come back with all kinds of injuries and sometimes I think one day you won’t come back and there’s nothing I can do about it,” you said, dragging him closer, “I care about you, Lars, and it kills me that I can’t be out there with you watching your back.”

He looked stunned, as if you’d just told him something groundbreaking, but for you it was the simple truth. Sure, you’d had fun in the field, but you only ever wanted to be there to make sure he was okay. You wanted to protect him, as much as he seemed to want to protect you.

“I’m always going to come back,” he said, voice softer now, full of wonder.

“Egon Spengler didn’t,” you said.

He considered you for a moment, eyes darting over your face. You realised your hands were still on him but his warmth was comforting after the chill of the ghost.

“I’ll always come back to you,” he all but whispered, forehead falling forward until it rested against yours.

His hands came up, resting on your waist, towel dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap. Your breath caught and you couldn’t even be embarrassed by it when it felt so good to be touched by him. You surged up, lips pressing to his. His hands slid further, pressing into the small of your back, pulling you closer. You sighed into his mouth, melting against him, your every dream coming true.

The heat of his skin seeped into your, warming you up until you thought you might catch fire. He kissed you deeper, more intensely, tongue sweeping into your mouth. You squeaked as he pressed you back, lifting you until you were sitting atop the bench, your legs either side of his hips. You hauled him closer, leaning down, enjoying being taller than him for once. You moaned and the hands that had fallen to your hips tightened before he tore himself away.

Chest heaving, lips kiss stung, flush high on his cheeks, he never looked better to you. He stared at you and you stared back, heart thumping hard in your chest.

“We’re at work,” he said.

“We are,” you agreed.

“We have more work to do.”

“We do.”

He took one step closer, then another and you could touch him again. Like a magnet, you were drawn to him, your hands reaching for him without conscious thought. He allowed you to pull him closer again but you didn’t try to kiss him, just needing to feel him under the palms of your hands.

“I suppose I can suffer through you being in the field some more,” he said, “after all, we seem to make a good team.”

You laughed, curling your body around his in a hug. He froze for a moment before his arms curled around you, holding you close. You buried your face in the space where his neck met his shoulder, his skin smelling of soap.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He pressed a kiss to your temple and you drew back, looking into those blue eyes that had haunted your dreams.

“We should get back to work,” he said.

“Must we?” you asked.

A small smile flirted with his lips and you found yourself smiling back. He pressed a slow kiss to your lips, keeping it chaste lest you get carried away.

“To be continued later,” he murmured against your lips.

“Fine,” you sighed, sliding from the bench, your body brushing against his the entire way down.

You might have agreed but you’d never promised to fight fair. And from the look he gave you, you thought you might be able to change his mind pretty quickly.

#lars pinfield x reader #lars pinfield imagine #lars pinfield

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