Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

Underrated yokai watch translation mistake: the subtle uncutening of Dr Maddiman

LIKE SERIOUSLY HE IS SO CUTE

EVEN CUTER IN JAPANESE

First off his japanese voice is a very nasally sort of 'underdog character' thing, with a singsong intonation to how he says stuff. And his english voice just sucks, i have no goddamn clue what possessed them to give him straight up the same voice as seargeant burly. WHAT! His english voice also seems to be missing a lot of his unique sound effects, in japanese he sorta..well..said sound effects. His damage and attacking sounds were hammy yells of 'bwaah!' 'doryaaa!' 'hiehhhh?!' etc. In english its just one single 'uhn' type generic vocalization. and even his laugh was toned down into "ha ha ha" (yes exactly as awkward as that) instead of "fufufu" "fuyahahaahahahahaaa!" and miscellaneous mad giggles and voice cracking type moments. Like even when he IS just saying "ha" it sounds more like a natural laugh of a dude who's having fun, perhaps a little too much fun, lol. He doesnt do anything as halfhearted at that damn english voice that just tries to YELL LOUDLY to make up for the loss of enthusiasm...

And then even his spoken dialogue is victim to less hamminess and specifically less cuteness also. A lot of it has been inexplicably turned into formal phrasing in english, i guess just because "he's a smart guy character"...? It strikes me as really similar to another favourite character of mine, Charon from pokemon. But in that case he actually is an elderly man speaking flowery formal japanese and trying to sound deliberately fancy (to the point where him dropping it for a few lines is a sign that he's really rattled) Maddiman not only has the opposite personality but even apparantly has an equivelantly opposite moment in japanese! (Switching from the ordinary/slightly feminine "watashi" to boastful "ware" only when he's doing dramatic speeches about his experiments) I dunno it just feels weird that as well as making him formal he's also got more scattered lines of I AM A BIG GENIUS boastfulness. Like did they need to fill empty space or something...?

Also maddimancs like.. Word choice? Is cute? In japanese? He continues to make sound effects of hamminess all the time in his written dialogue and almost all of them are edited out in english for reasons unknown. Examples: 'giehhhhhh?!' instead of "huh" or "oh no", lots of fuhuhu fuhaha fyaaah hyaa for no reason whenever he sees a prime chance, lol. All universally changed to the more generic 'mwahaha' in english, and always 'mwahaha' instead of the more natural sounding variations from sentence to sentence. Japanese maddiman also tends to...like..i guess i'll say singsong voice again? His word choices seem to only ever lie on the two extremes of short and cute vs long and complicated, and he flitters back and forth and sprinkles it around in a way that just makes his sentences look like something thatd be super fun to read out loud. That kind of mad scientist speak, not the formal boring kind! Every now and again he'll throw in something SUPER informal/cutesy that kinda takes you off guard and makes you go "oh you~!" Like the aforementioned "giehhhhhhhhhh" [continues on for like a whole text box], or how he interrupts his dramatic speech in Medal Wars to briefly say "oh by the way good morning" in THE most informal rural dialect old man type variant of the phrase. And instead of something more typical like "eureka" or "at last!" or whatever, in japanese his standard 'my experiment is complete' noise is YOSHAAAAA~!!

Oh and just to add, he often has multipke explanation marks, "?!" interrobang things and tildes even on lines that are very ordinary. Like he YELLS EVERYTHING at MAXIMUM ENTHUSIASM!!! This is a line! Of dialogue!! That i am saying!! Im just so happy about it!!

He also really does break his sentences up like that! And lots of other subtle "i am going a mile a minute and i cannot stop" type verbal tics, like repeating himself and sometimes stammering or streeeetching out voweeeels~ And pretty much any time there's a variant of a word containing "ya" or "fya" he's gonna pick that, even if it looks comically out of place in the sentence. I think thats the logic behind him sometimes saying stuff thats noteably more or less formal than the rest of the entire text box? And well you better believe he's gonna add some more As onto that thing!!

He just feels a lot more..like.. overemotional in japanese? Really does feel like when youre super heckin hyped over your BIG FAVOURITE and you go all motormouth nuts! And him being like that with almost everything kinda adds a lot of personality details even before you start learning about him. Plus in japanese his name is more "reckless" or "carried away" instead of "mad", and well his sad backstory is literally about him getting so "carried away" with his research that it caused his wife to leave him and his life to fall apart. So him sounding more ditzy and easily exciteable seems to fit with the kind of personality that could get that deeply sucked into things at the cost of his own health and important relationships, as well as the sort of guy who might be a bit too emotionally immature to properly escape from such a tense web of life mistakes...

Also its just.. Its just real cute, y'all.

Seeing a scary lookin doctor and then he talks like a cute bastard = instantly a point of intrigue that makes you wonder if he might get a sympathetic backstory in some future game, and you are totally already cheering for him to do this because gosh darn it even if he's killing me he's sounding like a sweet old grandpa who'd give me candy afterwards! The whole 'underdog factor' really cant be underestimated, it feeds in really well to the tragedy of his life and how he's really more of a reluctant villain/guy who doesnt even realise he's a villain/guy who's kinda not in control of his own actions sometimes. He just seems sad even before the sadness happens! THE CUTENESS IS IMPORTANT FORESHADOWING, DAMMITTTT

so yeah anyway to Do A Maddiman you just need to act like an overenthusastic undertalented actor in a school play while also sticking a peg on your nose. Imagine they promised you candy if you can scream the loudest!!

And That Is Why We Love Him

The End

December 11 2020

Hi Tumblr :) it has been such a long time since I have written anything. I would like to say it is because my life has been crazy or busy or even interesting. But that is not the case. I think that I haven't written simply because I haven't felt like myself in a long time. It's funny, I still call myself a writer. Like if someone were to ask me who I am or what my interests are; I would always say I'm a writer. I consider it a core part of my identity and yet I can't seem to do it. Sad, isn't it? Anyway. The last time I wrote I think I was going to Key? Right? From Chase? Over a year ago now? Haha. Yikes. I won't write too much about Key Bank but I will say that it broke my soul a little bit working there. It was an odd place. A group of fully grown adult women, acting like high school children. And I would talk to the people around me about it and unanimously the response was more or less shock at the things that were happening there. I don't know. I cried a lot during that time. I remember my depression and anxiety from HS and it doesn't even compare to how it was at Key. I had never wanted to be less alive than when I was working at Key. I am young, but I can say confidently, I will never have a worse job. Ever. Which is comforting in a way. If I can get through that BS I can probably get through anything. Lol. But! Out of all bad things comes good, right? I don't believe that necessarily, but in this case it is true. As always, my disdain for my workplace inspired me to get something better. I decided that I didn't want to fuck around with banks anymore and that I was ready to start my career as an actual financial advisor. So I applied to three different firms and, no surprise (not really, it's a huge surprise, I'm in no way qualified to be an FA right now), I landed a job at one of them. So I was hired to be a financial advisor at AIG retirement services, and I began studying for my tests. I worked at Key for about 3 months after I was officially offered the position at AIG. I was studying for the first test I would need to take, the SIE. I ended up quitting (sort of) in August. Key found out about the AIG thing and they weren't happy to say the least. But. What do they expect? I told the district manager directly that I was being bullied at my branch and I had other people confirming that fact. Not to mention that when I was hired they knew my ambitions, I told them, I wasn't trying to hide anything and I didn't spring anything on them like oh no way? I wanted to be an FA in a year. I was told that would happen when I was hired. 5 months in I was told that it would take 3-5 years to even get an assistant position. I'm not doing it. And obviously I am a very talented individual. I have had enormous success in my career in 3 short years. You can't hire someone like that and expect them to sit in a boring ass banker job for 3 years. It's not who I am. Hire someone else. Um. But, the AIG job is in Eugene. So I had to move! It actually all worked out really nicely though because the fires in Medford left my brother without an apartment right around the time I was looking for something in Eugene. We were able to get him into my and Trent's old apartment within about a month, and I found the cutest little place in Eugene. I love my apartment. It is technically a one bedroom but I turned it into a sort of studio with an office. I figure I'm not going to be having people over all that often, so a living room or entertaining area isn't important to me. I love my office space, it is so perfect, especially since AIG is work from home until who knows when. It is considerably smaller than my apartment in Medford was though. But! I have been saying for so long that I wanted to get rid of stuff, cleanse my life. I ended up getting rid of a lot more than I actually needed to. And so my place is a little empty, maybe? Not terribly empty but there's just a bit more that I could have. I don't want to buy more things though. Everything I have is because I truly want it. And that's a cool feeling. Really knowing everything you own. I think people often have things that they don't even realize they have. They don't know their own possessions. I know for sure I didn't. Before I went through my things, I thought I knew, but there was so much stuff that I had no idea about. Craziness. There is too much stuff in this world. Anyway. I'm all set up in my new place, the only super sad thing is being so far away from my family. Trent decided that he couldn't come with me. He is doing so well at his job and I'm really proud of him but it is hard to be without him so much. This is the longest relationship I've ever had by far. And there have been ups and downs, but at the end of the day I don't want to be without him. He was here all week and he's actually asleep in my bedroom right now as I write in my office. It's kinda a nice domestic little picture. I miss him constantly when he isn't here. We talk on the phone though and we have our games we play together. Recently he got me into WOW. I had a lot of fun leveling but since reaching 50 I haven't played much. We gotta get back to it. Essentially though things are going well with Trent and as of now I see us being together for a very long time. I will say that I haven't always been so confident in our relationship but somehow I think we have actually gotten stronger. The moving stuff was stressful. I'm glad we got through it. And of course I miss my mom and my dad. It's hard. I enjoyed our weekly lunches and I liked going over for dinner every once in a while. I still talk to my mom on the phone, my dad too but just less often. It's not the same though. Fortunately because of the holidays I have been able to go down to Medford at least once a month for the last few months, and I'll be going for Christmas too. I'm hyped about the gift Kodiak and I got for my parents. I think they're gonna love it. Definitely unique. It's hard to be alone. I feel kinda bad because I know Jonno is here and I should text him and hang out with him and it's not even that I don't want to but I have been struggling a lot emotionally since being here. My anxiety has been unbearable. It's an all day every day sort of affliction. I have never had such intense and frequent panic attacks. I actually ended up seeing a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for anti anxiety meds. I haven't taken them and I'm starting to do better. It helps when Trent is here. I've been trying to help myself. I'm trying to go on daily walks to the park next to my house, I'm trying to eat better, although most days I've had a hard time eating at all. I'm trying to get out and put myself in situations where I will see other people or be preoccupied. I'm finally feeling maybe up to starting a stream. I think that will be good for me. Anyway. That's all to say, I've just kinda been suffering since moving here. I don't want to say that it was a bad decision coming here, or accepting the job with AIG because being at Key was worse, just differently. Intense anxiety vs deep depression? I'll take the anxiety apparently, because I've dealt with anxiety so much that even though when I have panic attacks the physical symptoms suck ass, I know exactly what it is and exactly how to get through it. Being suicidal? That one is harder to know how to fix. Haha. Anyway. Back on track. I haven't been able to finish my testing for my FA position yet. Um and I have essentially been out of work for 6 months. So. I was definitely ready to go back. I ended up getting a job at Starbucks a little bit ago. It was fun. My manager was very nice to me. I learned a lot about coffee. I had no idea it was such a complicated subject. My manager's whole life was Starbucks. He had worked there for over 20 years. He knew everything there was to know about coffee and about Starbucks. It's very cool but at the same time I kinda wonder how a person is satisfied just being a SB manager for their whole life. Like, at the end of that day, are you satisfied with your accomplishments? I hope he is. I could never be, but I think that might be a flaw. I ended up having to quit after only two weeks though because I had a phone call with one of my partners (?) at AIG and we decided that I could start as a part time advisor assistant until I finish my testing. My 7 is scheduled to be soonTM so. It wouldn't be too long but it'll be a nice introduction to the company, and allow me to start working with some of the other FAs before becoming one of them. I start that position on Monday. Um. I'm actually really excited. They offered me more money than I thought I would get. And the hours are fantastic, and it is work from home. I mean. Could there be a better position? I don't think so. So far everyone from AIG has been just so awesome and accommodating. I have had some administrative issues, like with my U4 and testing and start dates, but ultimately I think it is going to be great working there. Hm. What else? I've been playing a lot of league. LOL is my favorite game ever. I love it so much. I love watching it and playing it and even thinking about it gives me joy. I have gotten a lot better since Trent and I started dating. I think it's because I am with him that I wanted to be better. Back when I started playing and it was me and AG I never felt much motivation to focus on the intricacies of the game, or even learn different champions or positions because the person I was playing with was... not really better than me? It's hard because he was at first but I didn't have to play the game right to be better than him. But! I always saw Trent as this like, pro LOL player ya know? I thought he was just so good and I always felt kinda bad playing with him cuz we would drag him down in the games. So when we started dating I was like, I want to be as good as he is. I want to get to his level so we can play together and it won't be uneven. I mean. Y'all know how competitive I am. I think now I can confidently say that I am. Not at all the champions but I am confident in my gameplay, particularly as ADC. I've played a lot. But it feels good. Oh! I've also gotten into playing words with friends with my grandma. Nams is so awesome. I love being able to play her favorite game with her and chat with her every day. It had been soooo long since we talked and so when she called me a week or so ago I mentioned that WWF might be fun for us to play together and keep us connected more. And it definitely has. Such a beautiful thing. That has been helping with my anxiety too. She makes me smile. Anyway. I guess that is all for now. Hopefully I will start writing more but no promises. Just honestly it’s probably not going to happen. I think about writing a lot. Maybe I just need to sit down and do it when I think about it. Maybe that’s what being a writer is. Who knows? I hope all my readers are doing well. If there are any of you left out there :)