#something about eddie healing and being ready now to fix someone else's walls | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buckttommy · 3 years

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post buck begins, because we all need some therapy after that episode

summary:

"In the moment, Eddie is grace incarnate. In the moment, he is Ares on the battlefield, calm and measured, steady and sure. But when the moment passes—when Buck steps out of the truck, healthy and whole, if not entirely happy, when he ascends those stairs to meet with his parents—it's like all Eddie’s cords have been snapped, like all the fight is being drained from his veins, Hera sitting on Mount Olympus telling him to lay down his sword and come rest."

or; this fic is directly inspired by eddie's heart eyes in the last few minutes of Buck Begins

It's only after everything calms down that he starts shaking.

He's used to it by now—the crash of overwhelming emotion that rocks him damn near off his feet every time something happens. He's used to it, but that doesn't make it any easier. Chris is at Abuela's tonight, not around to see his father shake apart like a leaf. All for the best, he knows. Eddie’s trying to be more open with his feelings, create an atmosphere of vulnerability with his son, but some things he needs to do on his own.

The shaking starts in his hands. Hands that took up position on that rope at Buck’s back, hands that came alongside Buck when he needed them the most.

What would have happened if they'd gotten there just a second too late? What would they have found?

Eddie makes it a habit not to think like that, can't think like that for his own sanity. There’s always a nightmare waiting to unfold when he lets his mind wander, so he lets himself move on.

They got to Buck, that's all that matters.

He pulls a beer from the fridge, drops down at his kitchen table and rests his forehead on the cool surface.

He's used to this too— the incessant replay, the home movie that only he can see where every moment, every action, every word rewinds and repeats over and over again. Eddie watches it all, everything from yesterday afternoon up until the point where they all went home after shift. He watches himself watch everything unfold around him, dazed, as if it all happened to someone else.

He'd come so close to losing everything last night. Maybe that's why he's having such a hard time letting the panic and fear go. He'd come so close to losing Buck—not physically, of course; they were never going to let him go down alone, all of them or none of them is the deal—but if Buck hadn't been able to save Saleh, he would have lost him for good. He knows it like he knows his own name.

For two weeks, Buck has been spiraling, circling the drain of self-doubt, and worthlessness, and achingly deep loneliness. For two weeks, he's watched Buck withdraw into himself, watched those bright eyes grow dimmer and dimmer. Watched that mouth grow tighter and tighter, and he hasn't been able to do a damn thing about it.

Eddie's never been good at feeling helpless. He's never been the waiting room type, never been the one to sit this one out, son, let someone else handle it. He's a doer, always has been; a fixer when no one else can or will step up to the plate, and watching Buck suffer this week—for there really is no other word for it, it's suffering, plain and simple—has been like asking him to neglect the most crucial part of himself, asking him to bury the one thing that makes him Edmundo Diaz.

His hands ached with the need to crawl inside Buck and hammer away everything that was broken, to sew together everything that needed to be patched, and each time that ache threatened to overwhelm him, it was like being met with a wall every time. Even though Buck has been more open with him these last few weeks than he has ever been, coming to his house and simply letting himself find healing in Eddie’s home, it was very clear that what he was going through was something Eddie couldn't fix, and Eddie didn't even have the courage to do what he wanted to do which was to wrap Buck in his arms and hold him through it.

And so remained his hands at his sides, useless useless useless up until the point when he needed them the most. Up until Buck needed him the most.

Because that's what he does, right? That's what they do for each other. Show up at the last second, what, you didn’t think I'd let you have fun all on your own, did you?

His hands are a love language of their own and they tell the story of his love far better than any sonnet he writes ever could.

Eddie raises his head and takes a sip of his beer, swishing the liquid around in his mouth before letting it glide down his throat.

His heart gallops in his chest. Always such a delayed reaction. When he was in the moment, he felt calm. Serene, even, because fighting fire, saving the day—this was something he could do.

Walk into the gates of hell for Buck? He could do that.

Hold onto that lifeline and pull his boy back from wherever he was falling? He could do that too.

In the moment, Eddie is grace incarnate. In the moment, he is Ares on the battlefield, calm and measured, steady and sure. But when the moment passes—when Buck steps out of the truck, healthy and whole, if not entirely happy, when he ascends those stairs to meet with his parents—it's like all Eddie’s cords have been snapped, like all the fight is being drained from his veins, Hera sitting on Mount Olympus telling him to lay down his sword and come rest.

He'd hurried through his shower, hurried out of the parking lot, pulled into a Target parking lot and tried to breathe for the first time in twenty-four hours.

He still feels like he hasn't quite caught his breath.

A key turns in the front door. The familiar sound of boots walking across the floor, the sound of a chair being pulled out beside him.

Buck sits down and takes his hand in both of his, wrapping long fingers around his, practically swallowing his hand whole.

"You're shaking," he says after a moment.

"Yeah." Eddie doesn't lift his head. "Happens."

"Hm." Buck doesn't let go. He doesn't say anything more either. Eddie feels the beer bottle slide through his fingers, condensation left dripping from his skin as Buck takes a sip.

"Can you look at me?" Buck finally asks.

Eddie looks up. Buck is already staring holes into him, eyes warm and soft in a way that shouldn't be reserved for him, but somehow is.

"I never got to thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," Eddie replies automatically. "It's our job, it's what we do."

But that's not what Buck is thanking him for and they both know it. Buck doesn't let go of his hand; he strokes the back with his thumb, tracing light circles that make Eddie want to do something stupid like run away. Or cry.

"You know," Buck says quietly, "I don't think I could have made it through their visit without you. You... you were everything these past two weeks."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. You—” Buck cuts himself off with a laugh. It’s at that moment Eddie realizes Buck is wearing one of his hoodies. Buck continues, laying his previous train of thought to rest. "I've got a lot to learn about a lot of things, Eddie. I've got a lot to learn about... love. And the people who love me, the way they love me. I've got a lot to learn about accepting it."

The fact that he's talking about this is a victory alone. Eddie is so proud of him, his skin feels thin with the enormity of it all. He's sure his pride is bleeding from his pores.

"You'll figure it all out," he says. It's true even if it's not quite what he wants to say. Emotional come down is a bitch; he couldn't put the words together even if he wanted to.

Buck laughs, soft, his face reddening. "Yeah, I will. But I say all that because…” He takes a deep breath. “I say all that because I'm realizing some things about myself. And I'm realizing some things about you. And I'm realizing some things about us."

Of course Buck would be the first one to say it; of course he'd give voice to the thing they've been dancing around for almost a year now.

"I don't want you to run away." Buck whispers.

Eddie doesn't even realize he's tried to pull his hand away until Buck's fingers tighten. Not hard that he couldn’t break out of it, still so gentle even now, but enough to let him know that he doesn't want him to leave.

"What do you want then?"

Whatever he wants is his, doesn't Buck see that? How could he not?

Buck shrugs. "What I want is to love you, properly, the way you deserve to be loved. What I want is to be in Chris’s life for as long as I live. What I want is to hear you say you love me and believe it, to not doubt it for a single second."

The war of emotions flooding through Eddie's veins right now. Maybe this conversation is a battlefield of its own. Only instead of being Ares, he is the blood on the blade, the chest on the other end of the sword, carved open from top to bottom.

"But you're not ready yet," he finishes for Buck.

"I'm not ready yet,” Buck confirms. “But neither are you."

The words are delivered so kindly that Eddie almost misses the fact that they reach right inside him and wring him dry. He wants to flinch away from the truth of it, from the knowing. For a brief moment, he wants to go back in time to when Buck was some insecure, intimidated asshole and he was the newbie firefighter and there wasn't this much intimate knowledge permeating the air between them. For a brief moment, he wants that wall back between them so all his private, tender spots can be kept safe.

When he was seven, his parents used to force him to sit through Sunday School at Mass and listen to the teacher talk all about the impenetrable walls of Jericho and how all it took was an act of faith to knock them down. At the time, he'd thought it silly, in the way kids think the most profound things are found in animated movies and badgering their parents with incessant questions.

But there's truth to that now, he realizes, because it takes all his faith to sit in this chair, to look Buck in the eyes, to be seen in return, and to know that, whatever Buck sees he's not going to run away.

It takes faith to be known, to knock against his walls until they're nothing but dusty piles of rubble and ivory.

He doesn't deny Buck’s statement, doesn't deny the truth of everything Buck sees.

There's no denying a reflection in a mirror, anyway.

"Tell me what you want, Buck."

Buck sighs. He brings Eddie's hand up to his mouth, kisses every knuckle. Belatedly, Eddie realized that at some point he stopped shaking. He only notices because he's started again, and this time, it has nothing to do with fear.

"I want to know that we're a sure thing. And that when—" he punctuates this statement with another kiss, this time to the palm of Eddie’s hand, "—we come together, we make it last forever. That's what I want. But we’re not ready"

Buck sets his hand down just as gently as picked it up and sits back in his chair.

Inexplicably, Eddie feels his throat tighten. He could flip through every single page in the dictionary and still not be able to find a word to describe how he's feeling.

“No. We’re not.” His voice is hoarse when he says, "But I'll be here. For when we are."

Buck shrugs again. "I know." Easy, like he’s never doubted it. That, of all the things he struggles with, of all his disbelief in the people he loves, that is the one thing he is sure of—Eddie's unwavering, steadying presence in his life. His love for him, no matter what form it takes.

"I have a date," he says randomly. Buck looks at him curiously. "The teacher from Christopher's school. Ana."

He watches Buck mouth the name, feel the weight of it on his tongue. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding his breath until Buck nods, but he catches it again when Buck says, "I do too. Not with Ana, of course, but. Another firefighter. Someone from the 221."

Eddie considers that for a moment. This feels like a break-up, only there’s nothing to break. If anything, it’s the promise of more, the delaying of the inevitable so that they know for sure they won’t break themselves apart when it is time. And yet, the thought of this pseudo-loss of this sits wrongly in his stomach. Eddie considers the idea of someone putting their hands on Buck’s waist, their mouth on Buck’s neck. It doesn’t hurt but it’s not pleasant either.

He stares out the window. Rain spatters and rolls down the windowpane.

“Why does this feel like this?” he wonders aloud.

It’s so vague, hardly even a question, but Buck seems to understand. Of course he understands.

“Hey.” Buck’s voice, the earnestness in it, draws Eddie’s eyes back to his face. “We’ll get there. You and me are always going to be you and me . We’re a team, and I’m not going anywhere, Eds. We’re not done yet. We’re just…”

Buck runs out of words, but that’s okay, he doesn’t need to finish. Eddie gets it anyway.

“I love you,” he says, because it’s true, in all the ways. And because Buck needs to hear it, and because he needs to say it before he loses his nerve.

Buck’s face does something complicated. “I love you too.”

Buck rises to his feet. He stretches, all the knobs and joints in his body popping. In his peripheral vision, Eddie can see the cloth of his hoodie ride up, the jut of Buck’s hips on display. The pang of that not-quite-loss hits him all over again, but it’s duller this time.

Buck is right. They’ll always be a team, always be them , but if they’re going to be more, they both need to be a lot healthier than they are, a lot stronger in themselves before they tie themselves to one another. Because it’s not just going to be them in the mix either; it’s going to be Chris, it’s going to be their families, it’s going to be the team at the fire station who will depend on them being a cohesive unit. They need to discover who they are before they become a pair, because once they fuse together, there’s no going back. Only forward, come what may.

Not yet, but eventually.

Buck jingles his keys in his pocket. “I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

Eddie looks up at that beautiful face and those gorgeous eyes. He’s had it all wrong, he’s not losing this at all, he’s gaining it. Maybe not today, but some day. There’s a promise in Buck’s eyes, one he knows is reflected in his own, and the last ache of that pseudo-loss fades away to nothingness.

He nods. “Okay.”

Buck’s mouth turns up into a sweet smile. Not kissing him right then and there is both agony and relief. Buck lets himself out, leaving Eddie to stare after him, the smell of his cologne lingering in the air.

No, not yet.

But soon.

#pretty sunshine boy #evan buckley #eddie x buck #buddie #buck begins #tv: 911 #spoilers //#my fic #jack.txt #This fic practically wrote itself I'm not gonna lie #I banged it out in like an hour and half (including edits)#100

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boogiewrites · 4 years

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Reports & Repertoire 20: Death & Life

Characters: Eddie Brock x Venom x Candace Miller (OFC)

Summary: The final chapter. Candy faces the consequences of her actions. Life and Death make things a lot clearer somehow... if you can come out on the other side.

Warnings/Tags: Violence. Death. (BUT FLUFF and a happy ending.) Hope you like it. <3

Click on my icon then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters.

Candy lives a half-life for a little while. Defeated fully and looking over her shoulder. A break comes when someone else manages to release an article on the spree of Roofies and disappearances in the city and all the possible connections. It wasn’t much, there were no names, no fingers pointed or anyone blamed. But it was something and she’d needed a win, no matter how small it may have been.

Eddie was relieved, and so was Venom to a degree. Although he was still steadfast on being able to protect everyone, he was glad Eddie felt better. It allowed for the extra energy he spent being anxious to no longer be used up and therefore not make Venom as ravenous all the time. Edgier meant more food and Eddie was never in the mood to let Venom take control and have his fun. But now everyone had settled back into a nice pattern. Something… normal. As far as normal for them went.

A week later with the air clear and Venom fed, they go out for the evening. Something fun and light and intimate. It was fall now, a comfort in the upcoming holidays and the jitters of her secretly asking him to meet her parents after telling him something she should have long ago. Venom knew it, but telling Eddie and his bumbling nature had been hard. So Candy planned on telling him exactly how she felt that night. To let it all out and tell him what he meant to her, as a friend, a partner, a lover. To let him know she saw him in her future, and to ask him if he saw her in his.

Any serious discussions no matter how welcome and joyous they might be were far from Eddie's mind. They walked through the carnival like children with sticky mouths and hands full of candy when they weren’t in each other’s grasp. A laugh-filled trip through a haunted house, a stuffed Alpaca Eddie got way too into winning her and spent entirely too much money on goes home with them too.

They sit at the back patio, Candy's head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around one another and Venom quietly waiting in the wings. Fireworks from downtown we’re going off, a crispness to the air could be felt and in each other’s arms was the only place they wanted to be.

A ring at the door separates them. “That’ll be dinner! Didn’t take them long. Thought with the traffic from the festival it’d take longer.” She says with a pleasantly surprised look on her face.

“These explosions are aesthetically pleasing. Like the ones in July to celebrate the birth of America.”

“I see you paid attention.” Eddie nods approvingly, kicked back with a beer in his hand.

“I always pay attention.” He retorts. “Eddie.” Venom's tone and sudden stiffness brings a cool rush down Eddie's spine.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie whispers, feeling the tension.

————

Candy trots towards the door in her pajamas, bare feet soaking up the cool wood in the house.

“Candy?” A man asks as she opens the door.

“Yeah, do I need to tip you here or on the app?” She asked, fumbling with her phone.

“We tried to give you a tip but you didn’t listen.”

Her hair stands on end and her eyes shoot up wide and afraid. And they should’ve been. The man is holding a gun. “What do you want?” She whispers with a serious face and tone. Every muscle in her body was tense. She didn’t even breathe.

“All you have to do is stop. Just shut the fuck up about it. Stop trying to save the day Nancy Drew, this shit doesn’t fly in the real world. You shut up and it goes away.” he waves the gun around as he speaks.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. What you’re doing is wrong.” There are tears in her eyes for too many reasons to name. She’d had self-defense classes. She could get the gun, yell for Eddie and this would be over. The seconds felt like hours as they say in life or death moments.

“I’ll say it again. You shut up. And it goes away. I have to give you your final warning.” He extends his arm, gun pointed down and Candy sees her moment. She tries to get in close and gain control, but the man had an itchy trigger finger. It slipped, him only being a messenger to scare her into silence. But it backfired. For everyone.

————-

“The door.” Is all Venom says before he encases Eddie. He was faster than Eddie could be and took in the scene in front of him with quicker decision making.

Candy was on the floor and bleeding with multiple gunshots to her torso. A man staring in the doorway in horror at them with a gun in his hand. As Eddie screams inside the cage of goo, Venom eats the attacker without a second thought. Now there was no man.

Candy cries out, back against the wall as she reaches out for them. “Eddie…” She wheezes and holds her chest.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” He was never good at hiding his emotions when it came to worry for those he cared about.

“I... they…”

“Shhh, don’t speak. I’m calling the ambulance.” He fumbles and drops his phone into the rapidly growing pool of blood from underneath her.

“Eddie.” Venom says, tendrils moving down his hands as they touch Candy's pulse points.

“Eddie I-“ her eyes flutter as he cries and groans in fear, his phone continually slipping from his fingers as she sighs out his name, rapidly losing consciousness.

“Shhh shh we’ve got you baby. Don’t worry. I’ll call- SHIT!”

“Eddie she won’t make it.” Venom calmly states even though it helps nothing.

“We have to DO something we just can’t. FUCK!” His voice breaks and he holds her face as he cries.

Her head rests in his hand and she smiles for him, her vision tunneling. “Eddie I l-“

“Shhh save your energy Candy. Baby, I’ve got you.”

“Eddie I can help but… we have to separate.”

“What?”

“I can’t bond with her. I can try. To heal her, save her.”

He sees her go limp in his grasp and he sobs, hunched over and shaking. “Do it please just- FUCK!” He screeches and shakes her. “Save her, man!”

A warm embrace she finds herself in. Only the thought of “Eddie, I love you. I’m sorry.” In her mind. It’s all Venom hears as he takes her over, connecting to her every fiber and cell as he heals the wounds.

Eddie is left in his own personal hell as Venom works. He’s alone. Utterly for the first time in what felt like forever. There was no voice in his head but his own, and despite not holding the symbiote, his body had never felt heavier or harder to function. Candy lay lifeless, as Eddie sobbed and held her, choking out please, feeling helpless in the puddle of blood on the floor. If Venom had brought him back, surely he could help her.

———-

“She’ll live.” Venom says, a sluggish head forming from her shoulder and plopping onto Eddie's head.

Eddie can’t answer. He’s too busy sobbing into her hair to speak, he only nods and pulls Venom into his embrace.

“The superficial wounds are closed. I’m working on her heart now. It’ll be slow. Very intricate, human organs. Lots of blood to make.” He says weakly. “Wash her, take her to bed. Get us chocolate. Something. Need. Energy.” He hisses as he sinks back into her.

Eddie does as he’s told. Stripping them both and showering them off, leaving the bloody clothes on the shower floor. He puts her in bed, shorts and a hoodie of his she knows he likes. He touches her so gently, and she feels it, in a way. Venom tells her Eddie has her, and they’ll make sure everything’s okay.

Eddie left to deal with keeping the blood hidden as the food arrived. He looked a mess, red-faced and puffy-eyed but luckily the young guy didn’t seem to care. He forgets the food and tosses it in the fridge. Locking everything and now to the task of cleaning up the blood.

He’s never cleaned up a body’s worth of blood before. Towels were no help and paper was too weak. He gathers it all into a pile, slouching it into a garbage bag. He throws their now soaked and blood-stained clothes in as well and tries to make the place looked decent. He can’t do much for the blood spatter on the light-colored walls but, paint could fix that later right?

He falls exhausted into the bed next to her. He watches her breathing, color back in her face now that had been a ghastly white. “Is she...in pain?” He asks, feeling the tiredness take over his muscles as he tries to push back her hair and hold her hand.

“No.” Venom quietly answers. “Not physical.”

“Good.” He nods. “Wait, what does that mean?” He double-takes.

“She is distraught. Emotionally.”

“She DID almost die.”

“Yes. She understands. And wants me to tell you she knows who it was.”

“WHAT?” His brow furrows and his eyes go wide, his weak and human body ready to defend her anyway.

“It was a message. The men she was trying to expose. They found out it was her. A snitch she presumes from the tone, she says.”

“Can she hear me?” He asks.

“No. But I can talk to her for you if you wish. She has many things to say.”

“Like what? About the guys who shot her?”

“No. About you.”

“Me? What about me? What’d I do? What does she need?”

“You. Just you.” Venom’s voice reflects the loving nature of her request. “What she wants to say is that she loves you. What she won’t admit is she wants to marry you. She doesn’t want to leave you as much as she doesn’t want you to leave her. She loves us Eddie. Us.” A weak sigh as he feels it all so intensely in the new body.

“She… loves us?”

“Very much so. She was going to tell us tonight. Tell you tonight. Wants us in her future. To… meet her parents she says.”

“I’ll do anything she wants.” He laughs and kisses her forehead. “I’ll marry her as soon as she can stand if she would. I love her. Tell her I love her so much. I thought I’d lost her and I’ll never let her get hurt again. I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. You warned her, she says. And you were right.”

“Are you sure that’s her saying that?” Eddie laughs and kisses her cheek.

“She thought you’d say that.” Venom ripples happily at the love he was being sent. “You should ask her to marry you. After this has passed. I didn’t mention that part to her. She loves us. She will say yes.”

“I need a ring.” He says with rapidly moving eyes. “But we can do that right?”

“Yes we can.” Venom trills happily.

———

Venom totally healed Candy. Not so much as a bit of bacteria out of place when he leaves her. She awakes in her bed with a gasp and Eddie sitting upright beside her.

“Hey baby, it’s okay. We’re here. You’re good. Take it easy.” He rushes out as he holds her head and chest steady.

“Eddie I was… I thought I was dead there for a minute.” She speaks softly and takes his hand with wide eyes.

“You were. But Venom fixed you. Good as new. Not a stitch out of place now.” He tells her proudly.

“Eddie.. I…” She feels exhausted but really good otherwise. Like she’s been hit with a truck but then injected with adrenaline. She lunges forward and wraps her arms around his neck. “I almost didn’t get to tell you I loved you. And I do. So much.” She whines into his neck and he holds her back just as tightly with a soft smile as he kisses her head.

“I love you too. The most. So much. You’re not going anywhere Candy. I’ve got you.”

“I don’t think he meant to kill me.” She says with a stark change in tone. “I think it was a warning. He would’ve shot me in the head otherwise.”

“Shhh. We don’t have to talk about it yet.”

“That was…” She lets out a sigh and slumps, letting him direct her against his chest as he leaned back in the bed.

“You’re okay now. Just rest for a minute.” He shushes her and she accepts it.

“She is right. Her logic is on point. The angle, the weapon and words… all point to a warning and not a hit.”

“Venom we don’t have to-“

“See?” She mutters into his chest.

“Perhaps if we… lay low. Stop prying…” Venom reluctantly suggests.

“He’s right. I’m so sorry for risking it. For putting us all in danger.”

“S’alright Candy.” Eddie insists with a kiss to her head once again. Her hair soft and fluffy from the bath he’d given her. “If that’s true then… we can rest now, right? Take it easy. Just… us. Not take this for granted?”

“You’re right. We work too hard. I miss you too much. I need you Eddie. All the time.” She says weakly and squeezes his torso as he pouts and returns the affection. “Move in with me. Stay here. I’ll take time off work, so can you. We can hideaway. We can catch up for lost time and just… exist.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I love you and I want you around. I want you to meet my parents. I want you involved in my life, Eddie. I want you here. With me.”

“Then I will. Don’t have to convince me. I’m already sold.” He gives her a soft smile and she kisses him unexpectedly in response.

“I love you.” She whispers and holds him tight.

“I love you too. We’ll figure it all out. I’ll move in. We’ll take some time off.”

“I feel like I’ve been away for a year. I feel like I miss you so much and you’re right here.”

“I was here the whole time. Never leaving your side Candy, don’t ever question it.”

————-

With every bit of confidence they could muster, Candy and Eddie walked into their boss ' offices and said they were taking some time

off. Whenever someone asked, personal reasons was the answer given and due to their contracts, they weren’t left with too much of a choice in the matter.

A month. An entire month of just them. They huddled up in their little home. Like bunnies, they snuggled, fucked, ate, napped and played. With sight of what was important, everything was lighter, clearer and nothing had ever felt so right. She felt like she'd gotten a second chance, and it was all Venom's doing. She was eternally in debt to him and Eddie. Their long nights and days spent together let her think about what was most important outside of a career. What did she want to leave behind and still do that she had been pushing back in the name of work? It was time to prioritize.

--------------------

They didn’t leave the house for four whole weeks. They did nothing but enjoy each other in every way they knew how. And with a few nights left of their getaway, Eddie knew exactly how to finalize the best few weeks of his life.

“Keep your eyes closed alright? Just trust me.”

“I do.” She replies happily as she covers them with her hands. He’s taken her downtown and showed her off, fed her the best food money could buy and they got to remember what being around civilized people was like. They much preferred the sanctuary of their home. They laughed a little too loud, kissed a little long for everyone else’s taste. But no one else mattered anymore.

So as the night moved into early morning, a walk through the architecture of downtown skyscrapers, hand in hand, he stops her at the foot of one. This one being the tallest of them all. And thus having the best view. If you knew how to get there.

She feels an odd whoosh, a rush of air that goes on for a minute but she keeps still, keeps her eyes shut as she feels Venom's embrace. She feels her feet on solid ground again, and she's thankful for it.

“Okay. Open your eyes but STAY CALM okay? You’re fine. I promise. Venoms wrapped around you, we’re both fine.”

“Are you convincing me or yourself?” She asks with a nervous laugh as she uncovers her eyes but keeps them shut.

“Uh… a little of both?” His voice breaks and she finds his hand and takes it.

She opens her eyes and her arm reaches for Venom's tight grip around her waist. They were at the base of the needle at the top of the building. Only enough room to stand, she’s left to gawk as she realizes she’s safe.

“Oh my god.” She whispers, taking in the breathtaking view. Everything seemed so far away, the lights and sounds so concentrated at ground level seemed like faint melodies and twinkling stars up so high. “It’s… this is beautiful.” Her eyes can’t leave the sight as her hand stays firm in his and wrapped in Venom's body.

“This view was the beginning of me learning to love earth.” Venom adds.

“I can see why.” She shares the sentiment.

“I now know it’s the humans. Like Eddie. Like you. That make it worth staying.”

“You’re very sweet Venom, thank you.” She strokes his happily rippling mass.

“I wanted to give you something no one else could.” Eddie takes her full attention. “I know there’s only so much I can do, and I’m not… we’re not what you planned to be with but, we’re thankful every day that you are.”

She smiles and pouts slightly before Venom brings them chest to chest. “Eddie, baby, you’re more than I could’ve ever hoped for.” She insists with a kiss to his cheek.

“And so are you. You’re, everything to me. Everything I wanna be, everything I’m not. You.. you complete me Candy and I don’t wanna go back to being alone. Not without Venom, not without you. I want you to stay. I wanna make sure you stay.” He insists with hands to her cheeks that surprise her, intensity and fear she wasn’t used to seeing in Eddie.

Venom swirls up her arm, tiny tendrils taking her hand and holding a ring that shone as bright as the city lights below.

“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Candy Miller. Would you do that for me? Would you marry me?” He asks with hopeful eyes that make her chest ache at the thought he might believe even for a second she’d say no.

“I’ll stay with you beyond that.” She promised and kisses him softly. “Of course I’ll marry you.” She laughs against his lips. A warm embrace against the cold winds up so high. A kiss that faded and turned into happy sighs as they caressed each other’s faces in excitement. “You’ve made my life absolutely insane.” She laughs, “But I couldn’t stand it without you now. Without you both.”

“We love you Candy.” Venom almost sings and wraps himself around her head to nuzzle her in the form of a slug-like round head.

“I love you boys.” She lets out a huge sigh and Eddie beams at her. It went perfectly. She was perfect. It was all so… perfect.

“It will be perfect.” Venom whispers into his head.

Eddie questions him wordlessly.

“You’ll see. One more present.” He insists inwardly. “Ready to go home?” He asks Candy.

“I believe so. I want to cuddle up with my babies.” She teases and kisses Eddie again.

“And you will. Keep tight. Eyes shut.” He says as they’re sucked together into his darkness and taken in leaps and bounds back to the safety of their bedroom.

“That feels sooo weird.” She laughs stumbling back and sitting on the bed as she’s released.

“You get used to it.” Eddie grins, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to stop for awhile.

“I have one more present.” Venom announces, a more fully formed head to speak to them both. “It is something you both wanted.”

They both wait with a shared glance as Venom vibrates with excitement. He moves Eddie closer to the bed and stands up Candy as they look at each other with laughter in their eyes he ripples again.

“Ready?” He asks with a wide smile.

“Yeah, I wanna know why you’re acting so weird.” Eddie playfully jabs him.

“Eddie…” He takes one of his hands. “Candy…” He takes hers and takes a deep breath that was only for show as he didn’t need to physically breathe. He places Eddie's hand to her stomach and places hers on top. “You’re going to have a baby.” He says with tiny tendrils flicking about in celebration.

“A- What? I’m afraid I can’t be, hun, I’ve got an IUD remember?” She looks at him confused along with Eddie.

“It was destroyed along with your uterus in the shots. I removed it and healed you. I can taste the difference in your sweat. The hormones. They’ve changed.”

She gulps and her hand clenched around Eddies. “Are you… serious?”

“Yes. I repaired you beyond what you were before, you’re a perfectly balanced machine now.”

“We’ve been having sex this whole month and... I…” She feels a little woozy and Eddie braces her back. Careful to read her reactions.

“Are you serious?” He asks him again.

“Yes! Why do you keep asking? I wouldn’t have waited to tell you if I hadn’t thought it would make a good present.”

“It… is a good present?” She can hear the break in Eddie's voice. His eyes moving to hers that were still wide in shock.

“I’m… I’m gonna… WE are gonna… OH GOD WILL IT BE AN ALIEN?!” She shouts and Venom rumbles out a laugh.

“No. Sadly not. This is all Eddies work.”

“Eddie.” She squeaks out, His high brows move closer to her own. “I’m pregnant.” She states with disbelief. A pause that makes him nervous then an almost maniacal laugh escapes her. “I’m pregnant.” She speaks again and laughs. “Oh my God Eddie. We’re gonna have a baby. A baby.” She laughs and throws her head into his chest.

“Please tell me these are happy crazy laughs.” He inquires hesitantly and she squeezes him tight.

“After I was shot. I thought about a lot of things. How I spent my time. What I wanted out of life.” She begins without looking at him yet.

“She’s always wanted to be a mother. But never knew when the right time would be.” Venom makes it easier for her, a loving stroke of her hair and pat to her back.

“Exactly. I forget you we’re in my head.” She lets out a sniffle. “My mom's gonna be so happy.” She laughs and it turns to tears. “Eddie we're gonna have a baby.” She starts to sob as he laughs at first at the absurdity of it all. But with the life he’d led, honestly, a baby was about the least crazy thing. A baby was entirely normal in comparison.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” He chokes out before the contagious laughing tears get their hooks into him as well. “We’re getting married and we're having a baby.” He lets out a loud sigh of relief.

“This is crazy.” She laughs as they rest forehead to forehead and wipe away the other’s tears.

“Is it? Compared to…” He motions to Venom whose big opal eyes were brimming with his version of tears. A sympathetic reaction to his host's emotions.

They burst out laughing at it all. Because what else could happen that would be more surprising than what they’d already been through? This mantra gave them the outlook they had needed. They would take it all in stride now from experience, they would work through the bad and cherish the good. They kept in mind how absurd it all was, and laughter followed them through it all. Because what could be crazier than what life had already thrown at them?

@hardygal69 @marvelgirl7 @emerald-bijou @brianaisasongbird @vale0413 @izzy-the-ginger @chortletortoise @onomatopoetic-aesthetic @anrm1 @jademox @nightcraver @venomous-possibiities @tinastarkandco @chipster-21 @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes @queenof-wakanda @s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s @peakys-mystic @jaegeeeeer

#venom #eddie brock #venom fanfic #eddie brock fanfic #venom fan fic #venom fic #venom fan fiction #eddie brock fic #eddie brock fan fiction #eddie brock fan fic #tom hardy #eddie brock au #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock x oc #eddie brock x ofc #venom x oc #venom x ofc

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reddielibrary · 4 years

Text

everything changes (when the sun goes down)

Written by @richictozicr

Gift for @stansbooty

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Word count: 10,167

Rating: Mature

AO3 Link

Summary: Gifted separate powers from Maturin, the seven Losers are brought together at age 13 and given five years to perfect their gifts before ultimately coming to face the unnamed monster that they call IT. Richie Tozier knows their survival odds are slim, they don't know enough about what they're fighting for it to be any other way, and before the time to face this monster comes and they inevitably die, all he wants is to be brave enough to finally tell Eddie Kaspbrak how he actually feels about him. But his clock is close to running out.

Eddie was waiting for him around the corner of the school, in an alley that was often left empty and secluded. The moment he saw Richie’s bruised face, he gaped at him and moved forward, hands coming out to touch him by the shoulder. The first time Eddie had reached for him like that when he was bruised and injured, he had flinched away on instinct. He didn't now.

“Shit, Rich, what the fuck happened?”

Richie shrugged. “Tyler and his dickhead friends. The only thing that ever happens, really.”

Eddie studied him carefully, knowing there was more and trying to decide if he would get anything more out of Richie if he pressed him. He wouldn’t today and he seemed to know it because he just said, “Okay, sit down then, fuck.”

Richie hesitated and then shook his head. “Let’s just go to the Barrens. Do it there.”

“Your face is fucking blue and black, Richie! What if we run into your mom? What are you going to do then, dickwad? Tell her you tripped and tonight tell her that it just went away? Really? Because if you do that, you better fucking record it because I’m going to want to see that shit go down.”

“When do we ever run into her?” Richie asked in exasperation. He knew he was right, the way to the Barrens was pretty much empty and the odds of running into either of his parents were a million to one. But he could tell by the way Eddie spoke that it came from worry for Richie so he lowered himself onto the ground against the wall for Eddie to work. “Just be fast.”

“I’m always fast,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes.

Richie smirked, unable to help himself, and said, “For whatever girl swipes your v-card, I really fucking hope not.”

Eddie scowled at him furiously. “Hey, asshole, do you want me to fucking do this or not? Cuz you can just stay all swollen and bruised up and gross and shit, won’t bother me.” He stared down at Richie challengingly for a moment and then cupped Riche’s face in his hands, ignoring the taller boy’s hiss at the feeling. Once the initial sting left, Richie tried to ignore how hard his heart was beating in his chest because of the contact, keeping his eyes set on the ground below them.

Richie could feel the tingling sensation of the bruises and split lip healing up and then it was over and Eddie’s touch was gone and, even though he’d just been fucking healed, he felt almost as if he were missing something. “Thanks,” he said quietly, pushing himself to his feet clumsily. Eddie reached to help him, his hands clasping around Richie’s left arm, and Richie looked at him just in time for their eyes to meet. He glanced away quickly, unable to bring himself to hold contact, not when he still had the words that had prompted his dumb ass to hit a bully in the face ringing in his head. Fag, fairy . He hated it, he was sick of it, and standing up to them had been worth the ass-kicking he had gotten just thirty minutes ago. “We should go.”

He could feel Eddie’s confused gaze tearing into him as Richie started to walk through the alley, stuffing his hands in his pockets. It was only seconds before Eddie had caught up to him, which was rather impressive given how much longer Richie’s legs were. “You’re getting good at that,” Richie said, unable to stand the silence between them. "At fixing us up like that."

Eddie offered a half-shrug in response. “It’s been a few years.” Five, to be exact.

It had started with Bill, the year they turned thirteen. His little brother had died horribly, his arm torn off never to be found, and then Bill had heard Georgie’s voice one night when he had gone into his empty bedroom. It kept happening and Bill had thought he was losing his mind with grief until he saw him in the basement. That was Bill’s gift: mediumship or something like that.

Right after Bill was Mike, even though they weren’t quite friends yet. When being nearly run over by Bowers, he had managed to create a force field for himself that had probably saved his life or at least saved him from several broken bones. Stan was next; discovering that he had the ability to leave his body and travel through various realms of existence.

Next to gain abilities had been Beverly. She had sought them out because of her visions, claiming that if they didn’t band together they would all be dead in five years’ time, and so would half the town at least. Eddie had soon after healed Ben from his run-in with Bowers. In the following days, Ben realized he had control over the earth and its properties. Richie was last, much to his frustration.

His abilities had refused to show at all until the day that they met Mike, the day that they became the Lucky Seven. It was immediately following the rock fight when, as Bowers and his crew went clambering back up the hill, Richie had managed to animate a piece of rope that was lying on the ground. It had immediately set itself to tripping Bowers, further humiliating him as he made his exit.

The truth was that life as witches was really not much different from life had been when they were thirteen-years-old. Richie still went to school, hung out with his friends, got his ass kicked either for existing or some dumb comment he had made (granted, his gift of animation also led to him getting himself into trouble when attempting to get back at bullies), and then hung out with his friends some more. The only thing that had changed was that instead of just sitting around reading comics or building dams, they practiced.

They had to be ready was the short of it. Mike, Bill, Bev, and Stan kept reminding them of that, that they had these powers for a reason, that It was coming back. It, that had killed Georgie and several other kids, had been biding its time and waiting but time was almost up. Stan was the one who had initially passed the message along. He claimed that their abilities had been gifted to them by Maturin, that he had called Stan to another Realm and explained that they were the only ones who could stop It.

It and Maturin were ancient creatures from another dimension. There wasn’t an exact word for whatever It was, really, but Bill had taken to calling it a Glamour, after a Gaelic entity, and that fit well enough. It had crossed over to their realm and, while Maturin was unable to follow, he had gifted the seven Losers their abilities so that they could stop It when it struck again.

Richie didn’t understand it and had been very vocal about it through the years, that picking seven kids seemingly at random to save the fucking world or town or whatever was illogical, but the others only ignored him when he brought it up and the truth was he knew it wasn’t important. Illogical or not, it was true and they had to learn how to possibly fight something that they knew nearly nothing about.

Now, he stopped as they reached the entrance to the clubhouse, the main place that they had taken to practicing during the day. At night they’d branch out to the barrens or the quarry, but not usually during the day. He looked up at Eddie through his glasses with a small smirk. “Want me to go first so I can catch you?”

“Shut up asshole,” was the simple response, though the other boy was smiling as he moved past him and climbed down. Richie chuckled to himself as he followed, dropping easily onto the dirt as he turned and surveyed the other losers. They’d grown up a lot over the years. Mike and Ben were both shaped like jocks, though only Mike was out of the two. Ben had a particular disdain for the main coach at school.

Beverly had grown into herself beautifully, and if Richie wasn’t painfully in love with someone else or good friends with someone in love with her, he might have asked her out. She sat on the old hammock now, a cigarette placed between two fingers as one ripped-jean-clad leg hung out of the hammock. Richie easily made his way to her side and she handed him a smoke without a word. “You’re old enough to buy your own as of last month,” she said simply but lit the end of it for him anyway.

“Ah, but yours are so much better Bevvy,” he told her, grinning around the cigarette between his teeth, his hands coming to rest on one of the beams holding it up as he easily swung himself back and forth. “You give them to me with love.”

“I give them to you out of tolerance ,” she replied with a loose grin, putting one booted foot up against his abdomen and pushing a little so that the hammock swung slightly back. Richie laughed and glanced back at the other Losers, bringing one hand down to pull his cigarette out of his mouth as he exhaled the smoke.

“Do we know when exactly we’re all set to die by the way?” Richie asked lightly, leading to Bev kicking him lightly and dropping her foot.

“Beep beep,” she said as she swung back and forth and Richie shrugged his shoulders lightly as though he wasn’t actually fucking terrified that Bev had said they would be dead in five years five fucking years ago.

“I haven’t seen anything,” she said quietly. “Not yet.”

“Then we better puh-puh-prepare,” Bill said, shoving himself off of the wall.

______

It was another month before anything changed and the waiting was easily the worst part. Richie found himself crawling through Eddie’s window more nights than one in an attempt to find some way to get through the night. Sometime this year, they would all die, but it wasn’t his own death he was afraid of. He couldn’t shake the vivid image that Bev’s words had painted that day so long ago, couldn’t shake the image of Eddie bleeding and wounded, impaled over him.

The day it all changed started with a bang. Richie woke up with sunlight streaming into the room and Eddie frantically shaking him to the point that he ended up rolling right off of the bed and crashing with a thud onto the ground. Grunting, he pushed himself up onto one elbow and looked at his friend with a sleepy expression, trying to figure out why the hell he was on the floor instead of the warm bed with the familiar, warm body.

Panic hit him then, panic that he had said or done something to give himself away, that he had spoken in his sleep, said Eddie’s name or something else, or that he had- For a terrible moment, he wondered if he had gotten morning wood but quickly realized that wasn’t the issue.

“We overslept,” Eddie hissed at him, throwing himself out of the bed as well and going to open the window. “You gotta go! Do you know what will happen if my mom catches you here? She will actually fucking combust, okay? She will fucking explode and you and I will both fucking die so I need you to fucking leave.”

Groaning Richie got to his feet and rolled his shoulders back as his face twisted into a grimace. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going. We used to have sleepovers all the time, I don’t know why it would suddenly be so bad.” But neither of them said anything to that because they both knew. They knew when Sonia Kaspbrak had become less tolerant of Richie being around the house, being around Eddie. They both knew that it was when whispers and taunts started being thrown the way that he liked boys. That was when she had gone from barely tolerating him to seeing him as too dirty, as something that would infect her little Eddie-Bear . Never mind that they were just rumors, or that he wasn't even gay, he was bisexual (not that Richie actually thought she would think that better). None of it mattered.

Richie opened the window again and slid his lanky legs out of it, leaning back with his hands on the raised window to look back at Eddie. “See you at the clubhouse later, Spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie shot back as Richie laughed quietly, blew him a dramatic kiss for flare, and slid out of the window.

He went home, snuck in through his own window, changed clothes to a Rolling Stones t-shirt, an open button-up, and black, ripped jeans. He pulled on purple high tops and then went to the kitchen to eat with his parents. He was doing one of his impressions as his father laughed with the paper open (Richie was pretty sure his parents were two of the only people on the planet who actually read the paper anymore) when his phone beeped with a text.

He slid it out of his pocket and glanced down, his stomach dropping instantly as he saw it.

Bev 8:45 AM: Clubhouse. Now.

The text was rather ominous as it was, but as soon as he saw that it was to the entire group, he felt it. She knew something and all that Richie could do was hope that it wasn’t too late, that nobody was dead yet and, selfishly, he hoped that if someone was, it wasn’t one of the Losers. He excused himself as quickly and subtly as he could, hoping he didn’t look as sick as he felt, and started his trek to the Clubhouse, forcing himself not to cave and go by Eddie’s first.

As soon as he climbed down into the clubhouse, he felt the melancholic vibes, felt the seriousness of it. “What’s going on?” he asked, eyes flickering between them.

“Dunno yet,” Ben said, glancing at Bev, who was sitting on the ground against the wall, her hand shaking as she brought her cigarette to her lips. “Bev wanted to wait till we were all here to go through it all.”

Richie glanced at her and nodded before looking over the others. Bill stood next to Mike and Stan, all three of them pale with eyes set on Bev. Finally, his gaze stopped on Eddie, who was laying in the hammock, face creased with worry and anxiety. He went to stand beside the small boy on the hammock, one hand going to rest at the rope tying it to the ceiling. Once he was still, Bev started to speak.

_____

They were going to die. That was pretty much set in stone, even if no one was going to say it. It was back and they had one day to prepare to stop It. If they didn’t, they would die and it would feast on the town with nothing to slow it down. Bev had seen it all in her dreams the night before, had seen every detail. She didn’t tell them everything, but she didn’t have to. It was easy to see in how pale she was, how she shook as she sat there that it was going to be gruesome and none of their deaths were going to be easy. They would hurt, they would probably be bloody, and they probably wouldn’t end fast enough.

After she had finished, Stan had sat down in a corner and gone into another dimension in hopes of finding something to help them. So far he had found nothing but he seemed determined to keep trying. Richie was sure he would try all through the night.

The entire day was spent in practice, each of them working on their individual abilities, knowing they had to be better if they had any hope. Every so often, Bev would try to take a look at the future to see if it had changed. It hadn’t. They used different ideas of how to work together in both offense and defense, but it was to no real avail from what Beverly could tell.

When Bill called it for the night and told them all to go home and rest, to take advantage of time with loved ones, it was clear. This was a classic “last night on earth”.

They went separate ways, no one setting out to walk entirely on their own. Ben and Richie went together, hands in pockets as they wandered down the darkening streets. It wasn’t until they reached Richie’s block that Ben spoke up. “You should tell Eddie,” he said, voice scratching a little as it left his throat.

When Richie dared to look up, Ben’s eyes were settled on him and they shone with that determined look that Richie had always admired in him. He considered playing dumb, but it would be stupid. The truth was, he and Ben had never sat down and had a heart to heart about their individual pining, but they both knew. They bonded over it, somehow, even with the reluctance to speak of it. “I dunno,” he said quietly instead, feeling more cowardly than he ever had before.

“I’m gonna tell Bev,” Ben said finally. “I’m going to go home and call her, invite her over, let her hang out with me and my mom. My mom loves her, you know? And then… I dunno, after Mom goes to bed, I want to tell her.” He shrugged his muscular shoulders with a small smile as Richie gaped at him. “I have nothing to lose, right? If we’re going to die tomorrow… I want to die with my cards on the table.”

Richie felt like the ground had dropped out below him, unsure of what to say or even what to think. What would it be like to not harbor that secret? It was too difficult to imagine, too foreign. It was hard to remember a time that he wasn’t yearning for Eddie, that he wasn’t trying to act like every touch didn’t make his heart skyrocket in his chest.

“I think you should too,” Ben said softly, watching Richie with an empathetic look that said he understood. Richie knew he did.

“It’s different,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “It’s more complicated.”

He almost expected Ben to get frustrated, maybe tell him that love was love or some shit. Instead, Ben gave him a sad smile and said, “I know.” And something about those two words of confirmation actually made Richie feel better. Maybe it would be easier if they didn’t live in Derry, if Eddie’s mom wasn’t so prejudiced and hateful if the odds weren’t that Eddie was fucking straight. “But he looks at you too.” Richie stopped in his tracks, staring at Ben as if he had just spoken Klingon. Before he could even think of a response, Ben just smiled and patted him on the shoulder before going into his house.

Rich walked the rest of his way home alone, hands in his pockets, and when he got home, he ate with his parents and watched them as if trying to memorize their movements and the way they spoke. He watched his dad do a terrible Cookie Monster impression in an attempt to get Richie to lighten his mood, and he succeeded a little bit, though not enough to make them think nothing was wrong. Even Richie didn’t have a real cover to hide behind tonight. In the morning, he would go to meet the Losers to get ready and he may never see the two people who had raised him again. And nothing about that thought was okay.

He stayed up with them until they headed for their room at about ten o’clock, his mom pausing to kiss the top of his head and brush his cheek with her knuckles. He turned around, arm resting on the back of the couch, and watched them disappear from view. He sat there for another fifteen minutes before he made up his mind. He pulled out his phone and sent Ben a quick text of Thanks and then went out the front door.

By the time he was outside of Eddie’s window, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to follow through, if he would be able to tell Eddie the truth, that he had been in love with him since he knew what love was, but he knew that if he was going to die in 24 hours he wanted to spend this last chance for quality time with him at his side. It didn’t take long at all for him to realize the window was already opened and with a small flutter of his heart, he wondered if Eddie had done that purposefully in hopes he would come over. With the help of the once again animated tree, Richie hoisted himself into Eddie’s bedroom window into the dark room.

He landed ungracefully on the floor and when he looked up, he saw Eddie sitting on the edge of his bed with a small smile of amusement, dressed in a light purple t-shirt and checkered sleep pants. “Nice landing, Rich,” he said dully. Richie grinned up at him and crawled to the bed, pulling himself up to sit beside Eddie, only for Eddie to push him back onto the floor. “Hey, Rich, you’re still in your clothes you were in today and they’re filthy. We were in dirty water and dirt and Ben’s powers literally are controlling dirt, do not put your dirty ass on my bed and will you stop fucking grinning at me? I’m serious and I’m getting you clean clothes to sleep in.” He was still muttering about Richie’s filthy clothes and how he had half a mind to make him shower before letting him anywhere near his bed. Richie sat on the ground with a grin and leaned back on his hands.

Then Eddie stood over him with folded pants and a shirt in his hands and an expectant quirk of his brows. Richie got to his feet and took the clothes from him, watching as Eddie went to lay in one side of the bed and picked up his phone, the light of his phone shining against his face and against the headboard... Richie hesitated for a brief moment before shrugging off his overshirt and tugging off his t-shirt. He replaced them quickly with the clean one of Eddie’s and then unbuttoned his jeans to pull them down and off his hips. Before he could, his eyes lifted and he realized with a jolt that Eddie was looking at him, his features illuminated by the light of his phone still facing towards him. Richie couldn’t read his expression to save his life, especially since the moment that their eyes met, Eddie flushed and looked away, taking away any opportunity for Richie to figure it out. He pushed his jeans down most of the way and kicked them off the rest of it before pulling on the sleep pants and crawling into the bed beside Eddie.

As soon as Richie was in the bed, Eddie put his phone away and rolled over so that they were facing each other, the only sound in the room the quiet breathing between them. Richie found himself overwhelmed by the desire to reach out and touch Eddie’s cheek, to pull him into his chest and hold him like he hadn’t dared to for years. Eddie touched him first, causing Richie’s chest to contract around his furiously beating heart.

Eddie brushed his fingers over the glasses still on Richie’s face, tracing the frame all the way to Richie’s ear. It was suddenly very hard to breathe and Richie was forcing himself to, wondering if it sounded labored or not, not daring to take his eyes away from Eddie’s, not even daring to blink. “You left your glasses on,” the other boy whispered into the darkness.

The look on Eddie’s face was one that Richie hadn’t seen there before, he was pretty sure. There was something open and hard to read about it all at the same time, his eyelids lowered as he stared at Richie’s face, his lips parted just a little, just enough to be the biggest temptation Richie had ever faced in his life. He couldn’t even hear Eddie’s breathing it was so shallow.

“All the better to see you with my dear,” Richie croaked out in the best Grandma voice he could possibly do with Eddie this close and looking at him like that. Eddie snorted and carefully pulled off Richie’s glasses, the taller boy lifting his head off the pillow to help him. It was an intimate movement, Eddie’s hand brushing over Richie’s face carefully and, even without his glasses, Richie could see the care that Eddie folded them with before setting them on the nightstand.

“Ben’s telling Bev he’s in love with her,” Richie blurted, not even sure why. Part of him thought that it was to try to get the courage to tell Eddie the same thing, but part of him was thoroughly convinced that there was no way he’d find the courage at all.

Eddie nodded his head slowly, his hair brushing over the white pillowcase as he did. God, Richie wanted to run his hands through it in a completely non-platonic way, just once in his life. He wondered briefly if Eddie would say anything if he tried. “I thought he might,” he whispered back.

“Would you?” Richie asked softly, amazed at how strange his voice sounded, how unlike his own. “If you were… in love with Bill?”

Eddie stared at him then as if he had turned into a frog. “If I was in love with Bill,” he repeated dumbly and it almost sounded like he was giving Richie a chance to correct himself. Richie, however, had no idea what to say and, given how close they were and that they could die tomorrow, couldn’t figure out what was wrong with his question so he just nodded.

They looked at each other for a long moment then, Eddie’s gaze disbelieving and borderline annoyed, Richie’s a numb surprise that might have been at his own statement or at Eddie’s response. Finally, Eddie groaned and whispered, “You are the smartest dumbass I have ever met”, cupped Richie’s cheeks, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

He didn’t even feel surprised, Richie would notice later when he looked back on it. It felt too right to question it. Richie kissed Eddie back with fervor, his hand fumbling to cup the back of his neck and pull him in closer to him, suddenly frustrated that he was laying on his left arm. But it was over before he could free it, Eddie not even an inch away, lips still parted just like earlier (though now slick with saliva), eyes still closed. Richie took in the sight, his own breathing so shallow that he was surprised that he was getting enough oxygen at all.

He slowly brought his hand from the back of Eddie’s neck to his cheek, thumb tracing over his jaw gently, wiggling his right arm out from under him and reaching up to take one of Eddie’s. “I was gonna do that,” he whispered.

“You took too long,” Eddie murmured, slowly opening his gorgeous brown eyes. “And then you started talking about Bill and I just-” Richie cut him off, kissing him deeply and passionately with a low hum.

Eddie surprised him again, taking charge quickly as he ran his tongue over Richie’s bottom lip, which encouraged a moan from the taller boy. Seemingly spurred on by the response that he received, Eddie moved his hands to either side of Richie’s waist and rolled him onto his back, climbing on top of him and straddling him easily without breaking the kiss once. Richie made a muffled sound of surprise into his mouth, one hand coming to rest at Eddie’s hip and one finally burying itself in Eddie’s hair.

Eddie made a sound that made something low in Richie’s gut coil and all he could think about was getting him to make that sound again. He wrapped his arms tightly around Eddie’s waist then before flipping them over so that Eddie’s back landed on the mattress, prompting another low groan from the back of Eddie’s throat and Richie smirked into the kiss. But then Eddie was parting from it and they were staring at each other and Eddie’s pupils were blown with want.

“Is it okay if we… just do this tonight?” he whispered finally.

Richie blinked in surprise before saying, “Yeah, Eds, I didn’t even-”

Eddie cut him off before he could finish, “I just- I want to. I really want to, but I also… God, I want us to have… I don’t want to die before I get to have sex with you and so maybe…”

Richie felt himself grin a little as he finished, “Maybe we’ll stay alive then. So we can.” Eddie flushed and nodded, looking embarrassed. “You’re so fucking cute,” Richie whispered, reaching down to pinch at Eddie’s cheek. Eddie was fighting back a grin as he smacked Richie’s hand away playfully. “You know what? I think that’s pretty fucking smart.” Richie ran his fingers carefully through Eddie’s dark hair before using his hold there to tug him lower. “But c’mere and kiss me some more before bed, hmm?”

With a wide grin, Eddie leaned up, pausing with his lips a tantalizingly close distance from Richie’s, his hands coming to the hem of Rich’s shirt. “What do you think about having a little more contact though?” he whispered, lips almost brushing against Richie’s.

“I think you’re a fucking genius,” Richie said with a grin, leaning up to pull off his shirt. When his eyes fell back to Eddie, the smaller boy was in the process of doing the same and then his shirt landed on the floor somewhere next to Richie’s. He was tempted to make a joke about Eddie’s mom, just to cut the tension, but he found it impossible to speak when he was suddenly able to look at Eddie like he had been wanting to for so fucking long. He slowly traced his fingers over the lean muscles of Eddie’s abdomen and sucked in a sharp intake of breath, his eyes meeting Eddie’s hungrily. The other boy looked just as affected, just as lustful, his hand on Riche’s chest as well, and then they were kissing each other again, more desperately than before.

They spent most of the night like that, kissing, touching each other, whispering things like “We’re gonna make it”. By the end of the night, with Eddie in his arms and their chests pressed against each other, Richie almost believed it.

_____

Eddie’s alarm was the first thing that Richie heard in the morning, and he spent about five seconds trying to ignore it before he remembered what that alarm meant and what today was. He forced his eyes open and blinked hazily at Eddie, who was curled into him, head dipped into Richie’s chest, his breath tickling the skin and hair there. With some difficulty, Richie reached over and fumbled to find Eddie’s phone without disturbing him. When he finally got the alarm to stop, he pulled his arm back carefully, bringing his hand to cup Eddie’s jaw lightly as he let his eyes roam over his sleeping form.

His shirt was still off, his pants hanging loosely on his hips, revealing the curve of the bone beneath it and making Richie’s throat go dry at the sight. He let his other hand go down to Eddie’s hip and carefully rested his hand on it, his fingers tracing his hip bone in a feather-light touch. Eddie twitched a little in his sleep and Richie froze his fingers, looking down at his form as he wrestled with himself, knowing he ought to wake him up, that they had alarms set for a reason. He wanted to stay like this, to feel Eddie against him like he might not get to again, wanted to take in the sight. Suddenly, he felt ridiculous for taking so long in the first place.

He slowly leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Eddie’s temple, letting his thumb rub circles just above the hem of his pants. “Morning, Eds,” he whispered softly, ducking his head to nose affectionately at the skin. There was a soft mumble of response as Eddie burrowed his head further into Richie’s chest. Richie carefully ran his fingers through Eddie's hair, leaning down to kiss his temple again. "I really would prefer us to stay here but…"

Eddie made a soft sound and pulled his head away from Richie's chest so he could look up at him, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. "Shit, right," he half mumbled, stretching carefully. He slid his hand to the back of Richie's head and carefully tugged him down and kissed him softly on the mouth. When he parted, Eddie’s eyes looked a little bit more alert as he looked back at Richie, his fingers still going through his dark curls. “Should have done this sooner.”

Richie closed his eyes and found himself leaning forward, letting his forehead brush lightly on Eddie’s. “Yeah, I know.” He leaned forward and kissed him again, slowly, adoringly, before parting and whispering reluctantly, “I need to go home… Before my parents get worried… I can pick you up on the way to the Clubhouse?” Eddie nodded slowly, his forehead rubbing a little on Richie’s as he did. Slowly Richie reached past him and took his glasses from the nightstand, sliding them onto his face with ease.

It was with severe reluctance that Richie slid out of bed and worked his way out of Eddie’s sweatpants before pulling on his jeans. When he glanced over his shoulder he saw brown eyes watching his every move intently. Eddie’s eyes were dark with lust and he looked unashamed to be caught looking, though his face was turning redder by the second. Richie grinned and buttoned his jeans before sliding back onto the bed, cupping the side of Eddie’s neck as he kissed him deeply. The kiss was returned with a forcefulness that before last night Richie wouldn’t have expected, but he knew now.

He had to force himself away so that he could pull his shirt on before pulling on his socks and shoes. He felt Eddie rubbing his back and closed his eyes as he leaned into it, letting out a soft hum. “I’ll be back in a few hours,” he murmured quietly.

Eddie pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades and whispered, “I know. I’ll see you then.” Richie turned and caught his lips in a quick, soft kiss before getting up and crossing to the window. He glanced back and looked at Eddie for a long moment as if he might never see him again which was ridiculous because they were going to see each other in a few hours and surely wouldn’t die before that. But all the same, how could he act like it was just another day? Like there wasn’t a reason they had finally had the courage to be honest with each other?

Forcing himself away, Richie climbed out of the window.

The morning was long. It was hard to pretend to be normal with his parents that morning, but Richie did his best, probably even better than he had done the night before. He laughed at the jokes from his dad, shot some back in return, did the voices that he knew they liked the best. And then he hugged his dad and kissed his mom on the cheek before leaving the house to get Eddie, trying to distract himself from how heavy his heart was as he did.

Getting Eddie was easier though and he felt a little bit more able to make himself think that they weren’t about to die tonight. Mrs. K opened the door when he knocked and Richie channeled all of his nervous energy into being the obnoxious kid that she knew and hated, instantly saying, “Hey-o Mrs. K! Top o’ the mornin’ to yah now! I’m here to collect Eddie, I am! We have important business of which to attend, yah see!”

Her eyes narrowed in that way it did when she was about to say something nasty, but before she could Eddie was shouldering past her. He paused to kiss her on the cheek and say a quick ‘bye mom’ before grabbing Richie at the elbow and pulling him down the walkway.

“Ah, yes, must be going now! Chop chop!” Richie said loudly as they rounded the corner. He could almost see the stink eye that he was getting through the tree and side of the house.

Eddie ducked his head, his lips curving as if trying not to laugh. “You don’t have to turn it to 150% with her every time, you know. She already doesn’t like you.”

“Aye,” Richie said, not dropping the accent until he continued, “but that’s just because she knows how much I like you.” He tossed his arm around Eddie’s neck and pinched at his cheeks. “Cuz you’re cute! Cute cute cute!”

Eddie made a strangled sound and leaned his entire body away from Richie, smacking lightly at his side as the taller boy’s arm dropped. “I hate it when you do that!”

“No you don’t,” Richie told him with a smile. Eddie failed to hide his own warm smile as he set his eyes on the sidewalk beneath them, instead of reaching out to intertwine his fingers with Richie’s.

As soon as they got into the Clubhouse, Richie’s eyes went to Stan sitting on the ground, eyes glazed over as he leaned his head back. By this point, it hardly took even a second for Richie to recognize that his friend was traveling astral planes. He glanced at the others wearily in a silent question. Without needing words at all, Mike said, “He’s getting information, he finally started getting stuff this morning. So far he’s figured out where It is. Under the house on Neibolt, in the sewers.

Eddie groaned and muttered, “Of course it is. Fucking disgusting.” Richie felt his lips quirk in the corner and reached out to take his hand again, not caring about the other Losers. He wasn’t sure if it was Last Day On Earth mentality or simply how long he’d wanted to do this, but he found it hard to care and judging by the way Eddie was gripping his hand in return he didn’t either.

It was only then that Richie noticed Bev positioned between Ben’s legs on the hammock, her head on his chest as they swung idly back and forth. Good for them. Richie caught Ben’s eye and smiled softly, offering a small thumbs up that made Ben laugh a little as he returned it.

They didn’t stay idle for long, quickly falling into their individual training exercises. Richie, Mike, and Ben moved to practice at the Quarry as they often did, and when they returned, there was a collection of weapons on the ground between their friends. It was a good idea, really, given that of the gifts, Richie and Ben had the most aggressive ones among them, but the sight of the weapons still filled Richie with an uncontrollable sense of dread. Maybe it was the reminder that this thing they were doing really was so dangerous to require things like an old machete, a fire poker, and so on. If they needed that stuff, they were really in deep shit.

When the sun started to set, the Losers climbed out of the Clubhouse and headed for the Neibolt house, all still on their bikes instead of cars, even though several of them owned cars now. Part of Richie had always thought the preference for bikes was because they reminded them of the days when they were younger and five years felt like an eternity and even with these new gifts they’d felt safe.

None of them felt safe when they got to the house. Even Richie was quiet as they moved inside until the smell hit him and he made a wisecrack about Eddie’s mom’s underwear drawer that led Eddie to elbow him lightly in the ribs and offer a week, “Beep, beep, Richie.”

Stan led them down, below the house, into the Derry sewers, where It apparently lived. “How do we find it?” Ben asked, glancing around their surroundings wearily.

“We won’t have to,” Stan breathed. “It knows we’re here.”

Sure enough, none of them had even taken a step before a red balloon started floating towards them, eerily slow and quiet. Richie couldn’t even hear the sounds of his friends’ breathing, or maybe he was so scared that he just couldn’t notice. The balloon came to a stop about half a foot in front of them, spinning around in a circle. On one side, the first one to face them, it had I ♡ Derry and then, as it turned, they saw You’ll Float Too printed clearly on the other.

The balloon popped with a crushingly loud sound that echoed all around the cave around them, but the sound was a thousand times better than the blood that flooded out of the balloon and rained over them all, drenching even the rocky ground below them. Richie wasn’t even sure that that was the worst part because they were still dripping, only seconds after that fucking balloon exploded when a sickening, clown laugh rang out.

There were two things that Richie had always been scared of. One was werewolves and the other was clowns. But no clown was as terrifying as the one that was now visible at the opposite end of the cavern. Richie reached automatically from Eddie’s hand, struggling to grip it when they were both still soaking with blood that they had all forgotten about.

The clown darted, gone just as suddenly as it had been there, though the laughter still filled the cave. The Losers gathered in a circle, back to back, all but Richie and Ben gripping the weapons tightly. A shield slowly grew around them, thanks to Mike, and Richie felt like he could breathe just a little better. Until the clown reappeared in a new spot but it quickly started to change. Its arms shook and stretched, its hands becoming claws that landed and dug into the ground in sudden claws.

Then It grew , sprouting up and up as new claws sprouted out of his sides. It became some kind of new thing as if a spider with claws for legs had decided it was a good idea to mate with a clown. It started to come towards them, each step making the floor of the cavern quake with such a force that Richie nearly fell over.

One claw came right down on the shield with such force that there was a sickening crack and all of them stared up in surprise. Nothing had ever been able to harm one of Mike’s shields before, nothing. But then there was another direct hit, right where the first had been, and a terrible, deep crack appeared in the top, like a crack on a hard contact lense.

The cavern ceiling started to shake, pieces of rock falling towards the monster. It was Ben’s doing, clearly, most likely in an attempt to distract It, which only worked when a large chunk hit it in the head, finally silencing the ringing laughter. “Mikey tuh-take it down! We’ll spuh-split up!” Bill screamed over the chaos as It lifted its claw again.

No sooner had the shield come down that It dove its claw right in their center, all of them throwing themselves away from it just before being impaled. Richie pushed himself up, eyes scanning the area for any sign of Eddie, relief filling him when he finally saw the other boy pushing himself to his feet stubbornly.

“Is everyone okay?” Eddie screamed out, but the only result of the question being asked was It turning its gaze on Eddie. It was in the same sickening moment that Eddie and Richie each realized that Eddie had dropped his machete when leaping from the circle.

Eddie jumped out of the way just in time, rolling away fast enough to put feet between him and It. Richie quickly sprang to action, animating the machete that had been dropped to the ground. The weapon sprang up, standing on the handle before spinning towards the giant monster and sinking itself into Its shoulder. The monster screamed, the sound echoing out of that terrible clown head but it quickly turned into that horrific laugh instead, the head swiveling to look right at Richie.

Richie backed up quickly, nearly stumbling over himself as he did, watching the thing take a step towards him, the claw sinking through one of the pieces of the ceiling, dividing the large clump of rock as if it were nothing at all. The same bit of ceiling suddenly twitched and Richie felt himself smirk, knowing already what was happening.

The rocks flew upwards towards the belly of the beast, splitting ways before reaching him and flying around and above him, only to clamp down on either side of his vicious, ugly head. “Yeah, Haystack!” Richie yelled, tossing his fist into the air.

The beast roared, stomping backward as it reeled from the blow. Richie saw what was about to happen just seconds too late to open his mouth, saw Stan on the ground behind the beast, staring up at it, just before the claw went piercing right through his friend’s left shoulder. Stan screamed and Mike and Bill both lurched towards him. As soon as It pulled its claw from Stan, Bill and Mike each took a side, pulling Stan to his feet as carefully as they could. He yelled out in pain that sounded so real and tormented that Richie felt his heart stop in his chest, his eyes glued to his oldest friend. Finally, he tore his gaze to Eddie. “Go!” he yelled, nodding after them. “They need you!”

Eddie hesitation lasted for such a brief period that if Richie didn’t know him so well he wouldn’t have noticed it at all. Then he gave Richie a nod and ran back towards the tunnel. Richie saw It start to turn towards the others making their move to get Stan to safety and hollered, “Hey, dumb ass!” It turned to him slowly, eyes narrowing, and Richie took that opportunity to grab the machete off the ground and throw it as far as he could, the enchanted weapon doing the rest of the work for him as it zipped towards the monster and hit it in the face.

Richie paused briefly before darting into the tunnel himself, half sliding and almost certainly skinning his side fiercely under his shirt. He pushed himself up, not even feeling it with the adrenaline pounding through his body. He saw Mike throw up a force field and exhaled in shaky relief, quickly shrugging out of his flannel and tossing it to Mike, who added it to Stan’s wound a top of another overshirt that looked like Bill’s. “How’s he doing?” Richie panted.

“Hanging in there,” Stan grunted hoarsely. “Wh-Where’s Bill?” His voice was weak enough that it made Richie feel like he might be sick, but he fought it back.

“He said he saw Georgie over there,” Eddie said, nodding towards deeper into the tunnel. He knelt down beside Stan and lifted the shirts to get a better look at the wound. His face twisted into an expression of such concern that, for the first time, Richie wondered if Eddie’s powers would be enough.

“Bill,” Stan grunted and Mike squeezed his right hand, looking desperately for someone to go get the seventh Loser.

Richie swallowed and nodded. “I’ll go.” He jogged down the tunnel, almost pausing when he heard the laughter echoing from behind him, in the cavern. He pulled to a stop beside Bill, who was crouched on the ground in deep conversation. Had Richie not seen Bill’s powers in use so many times by now, he would have thought his friend had lost it. “Bill? Stan wants you, I- Fuck, Bill, it’s so bad, I don’t know if Eddie can-”

Bill held up a hand and then nodded once at whoever he was talking to before looking up at Richie with worried eyes as he got to his feet unsteadily. Richie threw out a hand to help him up. “He has to if we have any ch-ch-chance,” he said unevenly. He didn’t stop to explain, instead of leading the way in a run to the others.

Stan didn’t look quite as terrible, the blood that had initially been coming from his lips had dried and wasn’t being replaced so Richie took that to be a good sign. Bill fell to his knees on Stan’s side opposite Mike and looked around at them. “Juh-Juh-Georgie and the others,” he said, half panting. The stitch Richie felt in his side from all of the running and diving of the last hour didn’t blame him. “They s-s-said-” He closed his eyes and took a long breath to steady himself, a long moment that the claw beating against the wall of the force field with sickening thuds and an occasional crack said they didn’t have, and said, “It’s from the other dimension, ruh-ruh-right? Its cuh-core is still there. That’s how we kuh-kuh-”

“That’s how we kill it,” Beverly finished slowly, her eyes lighting with sudden realization. “We need Stan to go kill it.” She closed her eyes and Richie knew she was scanning their future for change.

“It’s an e-e-egg,” Bill managed to get out, eyes flickering from Bev to Mike and then back to Stan. “It’s tethered by its o-own egg.”

Stan nodded, even as his eyes were half-lidded. “If it’s in its lair that would be why Maturin never knew.”

Mike shushed him in a gentle tone, hand cupping his cheek as he glanced at Bill again with worry in his eyes. “I’ve never held it under this much weight. It’s too strong, the field’s gonna come down any minute.”

“Using his powers is going to take a strain on him,” Eddie gasped out as the claw hit the side again and this time Richie could see the crack, like a sliver of a crack in a hard contact lense. “I think I’m going to have to keep the wound from reopening.”

Richie nodded, looking at Ben with a heavy exhale, a question in his eyes. Ben gave a single nod and lifted a hand, his eyes fixed on something behind It. “Ready?” he asked.

“Wait.” Bev scuffled with something on the ground before lifting with the fire poker. “I’m going to help you distract It. If Stan dies, we all die.” There was only a second’s hesitation on Ben’s face but then it was gone and he nodded once. Bev moved closer to him, her hand rubbing from his arm to his shoulder, whispering something that Richie didn’t even try to hear. He was sure it was private.

Richie caught Eddie’s gaze, noticing how scared the smaller boy looked. Eddie didn’t have to say it, he knew on his own that it was for Richie’s well being out there more than his own. Richie offered him a small smile that he hoped was comforting and got a weak one in return. Stan nudged Eddie lightly on the knee and nodded towards Richie. Eddie got up and moved to Richie, going to touch his face but pausing due to the blood on his palms.

“Be careful,” he said quietly.

Richie opened his mouth to make a wisecrack but closed it again before he could. He took in Eddie’s worried, tired, dirty face and said, “I love you.”

Eddie stared at him for a long moment, as if he couldn’t believe the words, or maybe he just couldn’t believe the timing. But then he lurched in and kissed him, purposefully keeping his hands from touching Richie. Richie reached out and took both of Eddie’s hands in his anyways and squeezed them as he kissed him back. But it was over too soon and Eddie whispered, “I love you too.” And nodded at him before pulling his hands back and kneeling down beside Stan.

Bev looked at Mike and nodded as if to tell him they were ready. Mike watched her for a long moment before turning his gaze on Ben and Richie as well. “Be careful. I’m going to throw up the shield again as soon as I can, so give us a warning if you need-”

“Just do it!” Richie half yelled, watching the claw thud again and the crack grow an inch.

“3,” Mike said, glancing at Ben. Ben curled his fist and a rock behind It slowly lifted and suddenly Richie understood. “2.” They watched it go higher. “1.”

The rock dropped and It screamed again, turning its head to look behind it. The field dropped and the three of them bolted outside, splitting up to take different sides of It. Ben had rocks flying, Bev occasionally climbed up the side of the cavern to scream at It to get its attention and sometimes throwing whatever she could, and Richie animated every weapon they had dropped that he could see, anything at all that he could see.

One of those fucking claws went flying towards Beverly and she leaped from the wall, tumbling onto the ground. Ben and Richie both shouted her name in unison until they saw her clamber to her feet. It became preoccupied, trying to pull its claw back out of the wall, as Bev darted away quickly. “I’m fine!” she shouted back at them.

“How much longer?!” Ben shouted towards the tunnel.

“He’s been in there a while!” Mike yelled back to them. “But we don’t know!”

Richie exchanged looks with Ben, easily catching the exhaustion on the large boy’s face. He felt it himself and he could see it in Beverly as well, could see it in the way she was moving just a little slower than before. “Come on, Stan,” Richie breathed to himself. “Bevvy, how we doing?”

“What, you want me to check now?!” Beverly shouted back, sounding like she might laugh if the situation wasn’t so fucking dire. Because even though they were getting exhausted, It wasn’t. It was just getting angrier, but its energy wasn’t lessening any as far as Richie could tell.

“Come here, I’ll cover you!” he shouted back. Beverly nodded once and sprinted to him, sliding to her knees behind him. Richie glanced around the cavern desperately, eyes finally catching on an old, rusty sheet of metal peeking out of some of the rock. It had probably been buried down here long ago. It animated to life quickly, wiggling its way from the rocks, though Ben saw what was happening and pulled the remaining rocks away from it. The sheet metal flew in front of Richie and Bev just as Its attention had gone to them.

Its claw, of course, pierced right through it, but it slowed the momentum enough to stop Richie from being impaled. It bounced around, continually blocking blows until Ben managed to get Its attention fixed back on him.

It was a few minutes of that when It smashed a rock thrown its way and its claw went barrelling towards Ben. The metal shot to him, slowing the blow by taking it long enough for Ben to dive out of the way. “Bev?” Richie half-shouted desperately, but her name had hardly left his lips when she appeared at his side.

“It kept changing until the end,” she panted. “But-”

She didn’t get to finish. It screamed, a terrible, deranged sound, and curled in on itself. One claw pierced the ground with such force that half of it vanished into the earth, but It didn’t seem to notice. It was still screaming and actually deteriorating. It fell apart, bit by bit, and they could see shining light beneath its flesh.

“- have to get in there!” Bev’s voice finally broke through Richie’s stupor, bringing his gaze over to their shielded friends. The force field was going down, Richie realized, and it was only then that he realized what was happening. Beverly grabbed his hand and they both ran to the entrance of the tunnel, meeting with Ben a few steps away. They dove inside once it was lifted enough and then Mike slammed it back down.

It was just in time. It exploded with a shriek and the light-filled the entire caver, so bright that it almost burned Richie’s skin even through the shield. Bits of the monster hit the shield, looking so disgusting that under different circumstances Richie might have hurled.

Instead, he just fell to his knees and then arms were around him and he felt Eddie’s forehead pressed against his own and heard Eddie’s exhausted whisper of, “We did it, Rich. We did it. We’re all alive. It’s over.” Richie brought his own shaking hand to cup the back of Eddie’s neck and sighed with relief.

____

“We had to be there,” Stan explained tiredly in response to Richie asking why they had had to go in the first place if killing it was in a different dimension altogether. He was leaning against Bill’s shoulder with Mike leaning on his. The three of them looked picture-perfect sitting like that in front of the Quarry, Richie thought.

Ben was sitting on the rocks, leaning back on one arm with Bev’s head in his lap as she lay on her side, looking at Stan as he spoke. Richie, for his part, was holding Eddie stubbornly on his lap against his chest, perched on a log with his own chin settled on Eddie’s shoulder.

After the battle had ended, they had all sat in the tunnels for what had probably ended up being an hour, laughing and crying and holding each other. Stan was going to be fine, he healed up fine once it was over, once he was able to relax and let Eddie help and wasn’t straining with his powers. Then they had gone to Bill’s and all fallen asleep together spread out across Bill’s bedroom, no one, not even Eddie, bothering to shower, though they all pretty much wrestled each other to go first in the morning. Once clean and fed, they had all gone home, reassured their parents that Bill had had a crisis and needed their help, and then met up in the Quarry where they were now.

“We had to be there,” Stan repeated, “because I travel astral planes, not locations. I could never have done that if we hadn’t been in the lair or if we hadn’t located It. It had to be there for the egg to be in reach and we had to be there to find It, do you see?”

Richie hummed in approval and tilted his head to kiss Eddie’s clothed shoulder before looking back up. “So. Is Maturin like our Charlie now?”

All of the Losers stilled and glanced at each other as if at a loss before Ben finally asked, “What?” with a laugh in his voice.

“Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?” Eddie asked with a slow blink as he turned to look at Richie.

Richie smirked and laughed, shaking his head. “No. Charlie like Charlie’s Angels. He’s this secret voice only Stan met who told us what to do and guided us through saving our whole town. Uh, hello? I think we’re basically super witch spies now. Super hot witch spies.”

Eddie was the first to start laughing, curling in on himself from laughing so hard and Richie grinned, gratified. The rest followed quickly, even Richie. “Beep, beep, Richie,” Bev managed to get out, shaking her head as the laughter subsided.

“I’m just saying, if we do this too often he ought to pay us or something,” Richie said, only to be beep-beeped again by Bill. Eddie was gazing up at him with adoring amusement and Richie just beamed right back, leaning down to kiss him long and deep enough that the other Losers started howling, whooping, and groaning dramatically.

It was hard to care though, and even Eddie didn’t seem to if the way his tongue was halfway down Richie’s throat was any indication. They had lived and, more importantly, they were together. So what could possibly dampen any of their spirits now?

#reddie #halloween event 2019 #richictozicr

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reddogf13 · 4 years

Text

Raw nerves ch 4

Pennywise x Beverly

summery: 7 years after pennywise tricked those kids into thinking they won, he unintentionally explodes a gas pipe. he wakes days later to discover hes being treated by Beverly. too weak to even walk he is forced to live under her roof. questioning her reasons for keeping him and why none of the other losers have come to end him. without knowing, the two join a path to heal each other.

status: complete

rated: M - fowl language and gore

previous chap: Raw nerves ch 3

next chap: Raw nerves ch 5

_____________________________________

~ch:4 Desperation~

The new morning covered the misted land in a warm glow. The air fresher than usual after a heavy rain in the night. The den layered in webs trapping what little heat it could off Pennywise nesting inside. Laying silently across the thrown about bedding. Hearing the morning go like others with Beverly's alarm going off to mark the start of the day. She was slow to get ready this morning with a pause out in the hall. Listening to her step forward into his room. Speaking loud to wake him if he was asleep.

Asking him about last night. “why'd you do it?”

he replied shortly. “why'd you let me?” remaining like he was resting without opening an eye to look at her. Her answer wasn't as fast as his. Sensing an air of confusion off her in thinking over his question.

“... I'll be late at work.” she started. “... thanks...” she mumbled.

Before he could say anything there was a loud knocking at the door. The scent of men slowly creeping inside from the front door edging. Judging off Beverly's reaction it wasn't an expected visit. A spike of fear over her when she peeked down at the front door from the bedroom doorway.

Curiosity bring him to ask. “who is it? More thieves?” drooling at possibly another meal delivering itself.

“no, police.”

“why are they visiting out in the middle of nowhere?”

her voice shaking. “ … I am late on bills.”

“bring them inside. I'll take care of them.” letting his interest in them be known.

“no!”

“i have to eat. With how long I am staying here you know something must be done.”

“ … I know, but you can't have them.” holding a hand out for him to stay in the room. Heading down to greet the police on her doorstep.

Not willing to listen he crept out from the room to listen in on the conversation between her and the officers. Hearing mention of a van parked in the forest brush edging the property. Linked to a group of men reported as missing. Beverly denied all knowledge of the men, but even the officers were onto her lies. Asking her to come down to the office for some questions. Pennywise couldn't allow them to take her away. Stepping up to the front door to gently push Beverly aside. Feeling her hold onto his arm to keep him back in some way. Her worry increasing at what he was planning to do.

He stared them down on the small porch. “what you're looking for isn't here. Go away and take the abandoned van with you.” he snarled down at them. The officers staring blankly at him up until he left their sight into the house. Leaving Beverly alone again with the officers acting different toward her. The men apologized for bothering her and accepted the van was strangely abandoned. Claiming they would tow it themselves without charging a penny for its removal. Giving Beverly a breath of relief that she wouldn't be leaving in a police cruiser. Closing the door, as the officers left, to get Pennywise back into bed. He didn't need the help, but she preferred to make sure he wasn't going to try anything else after that talk.

“I have to leave for work now or I'll be late. Will you be okay?”

he huffed. “what do you think I'll do? Stick a fork in a wall socket?”

“ you may wander down the block and pass out in the middle of the road again.” mumbling on her way out. Unable to do anything else if he decided to while she was gone.

“I didn't pass out on the road!” he shouted from the room. Speaking to himself on being treated like a newborn. “she doesn't trust me to know my limits. Assumes I'd be stupid enough to fall in the middle of a road.” nesting down to rest in the bed. Letting the time rush by for when she returned in the night. Listening to her cook dinner and later prepare for bed. The same night as usual onward to the morning alarm. She didn't visit him this time and headed straight off to work.

Her late night return had a noticeable shift that alerted him to something being wrong. Scenting blood, stress, fear, topped by a large amount of pain radiating off her. She didn't even try to go up the stairs toward her room. She stopped shortly after the door on the living room couch lit up by what small moon light passed the windows. When she didn't move after a while he rose to investigate her current health status. Keeping himself as hidden as possible he crept low to the ground on all fours as a stalking animal would. Cautious about his sharp nails tapping along the wooden parts of flooring. Moving faster along the carpeted living room up to the side of the couch.

Checking first that she wasn't awake to get closer. Barely home for 5 minutes and already in a deep sleep. His quick check already seeing noticeable cause of her stressed pain. Lots of bruising upon closer inspection showing the shape of hand prints. Marking all over her skin from her neck down to her legs from what he could barely see past the pant leg ends. The rest of her covered by herself as she slept in a tightly curled ball. Breathing shallow followed by a wheezing that cut off in a dangerous way. The longer he watched her breathing diminished to not breathing at all. Needing him to step in to prevent her from suffocating in her sleep.

Gliding a hand under her bottom jaw to lift her head toward the air. The bruised mark on her throat wasn't the only damage done. It had crushed her air way that further wasn't helped by ducking her head down when sleeping. Holding her head he carved a nail into her throat down in a thin line. Giving it a quick lick to fix the damage done. Rubbing her neck to speed along the process in healing the airway open. The bruised mark of a hand fading away into the pail glowing skin. Satisfied by the sound of her breathing leveling out to a normal standard. When he moved to rest her head back down their was an explosion of fear off her.

She had woken terrified in momentary confusion of what was going on. Struggling against the clown ready to break into a brawl against him. Realizing it was him after he leaned away from her throwing fists. She calmed down from her episode of panic. Body shaking off the rushing adrenaline of survival she couldn't bring any words forward to give the clown crouching next to her.

Filling in for her he answered questions she anxiously wanted answered. “you're at home on the couch. I needed to fix your throat after you stopped breathing. It was badly crushed by someone's grip, but I don't know who did so.”

her reaction to the answers slowly showed her remembering. Exhaustion kicking in again both physically and mentally on her injured body. Ready already to fall right back to sleep without any more questions.

But he wanted more answers. “ what happened?”

voice rough with pain.“... I don't want to talk about it.” Shutting her eyes to focus on sleeping it all away. He didn't push afterwards to let her body rest. Watching her rest long enough to be sure she wouldn't die in her sleep. Stepping back up to his room for the night. After a few hours he heard Beverly stiffly getting up. Hissing in pain the entire way she stepped up the staircase. A moment taken in her room before coming back out to take a long shower. When she came out he was surprised to hear her coming into his room. Settling on the small couch nearby he didn't disturb her as she did. Pretending to sleep until she was, then opening an eye to check on her.

Looking over her curled up again in a protective ball in fresher clothes that weren't ruined by blood. A thick sweater hiding most of her shape helped also by baggy pants. Any harmful markings purposefully hidden for reasons he didn't know why. Marks like the ones she had were shown off to police after being freshly made. She wanted it all to go away as quick as possible it appeared to him. If she wasn't willing to tell him he would let it go.

The morning alarm went off in her room to wake her for work. He was the only one able to hear it this far down the hall. He thought of warning her about the alarm, but her body was in no condition to work. Needing even more sleep to heal off its painful injuries. Leaving her be on the small couch for the whole day. When dinner time approached she finally woke to stiffly stretch from her position. Looking at the dark window across the room to then look at the clown.

“what time is it?” her voice not so rough as before.

“7: 56. you slept the whole day.”

“mm, I missed work.” sounding displeased, but also uncaring.

“how do you feel?”

“ ...” getting the message she really didn't want to talk about how she felt.

“are you hungry?” he changed to a different question.

“yeah, but I don't want to make anything.”

“you should eat.”

“...”

“what about ordering pizza? They drop it off and you don't have to move.” the mention of someone visiting spiking her anxiety's. Marking it a bad idea she wouldn't accept. Not getting anywhere he decided to switch things up further.

“so, where are your friends? Can't one of them come over with a bowl of soup?”

“the guys? Most of them are gone. Been that way since we graduated high school. Bill, Stan, Ben, and Richie all left for colleges across the states. Eddie and mike are the only two to stay. Eddie caring for his mom and mike running the farm. Both saving up to eventually go to their favorite colleges. Ever since most our group split we haven't stayed in touch much.”

“why did you stay? How'd you even get this house?”

“my aunt … after the whole summer thing . Dealing with my …” her voice choked up at the memory. “I had to live somewhere else. Moved in here with my aunt. She passed away a year ago and gave it to me in an inheritance. I've been working to keep it. It's hard to save up for college and pay for a house on a waitress job.” unhappy about her money situation. Something else about it she kept quiet on mentioning. Resting back into the couch without anything else to say.

“still tired?”

“yes.” a quiet answer as she finally went back into resting. Watched by the clown laying not too far on his crossed arms. Checking again that her rest wasn't something more serious bringing her health down. Stopping himself from staring after a few hours. Something was changing about Beverly that only he could see at this point. Something major that Beverly wouldn't be able to tell for a while. Based off what he could piece together from her injuries. He had to tell her when she woke the next morning.

Waiting patiently for when she woke around noon. To a point she was awake enough to clearly understand what he would tell her. Seeing him hold an unblinking stare the entire time she grew uncomfortable.

“what?”

“... you're pregnant.”

it took her a moment to take in what he said. “... what?!” wide eyed with shock at the news she bolted from the chair to run outside into her truck. Speeding off on screeching tires down the driveway. It concerned him how she would be after seeing the look of pain she got when rushing out. Her body was not well for this 2nd round of stress. He would have to wait for her to return to see how well she was later.

The whole day and late into the night she was gone. When she came back she rushed up to his room. Looking pale under the stress of what she went through today. Shaking nervously in standing by the clowns bed. “can you stop a pregnancy? … painlessly?” the last part not sounding as her top concern over what she was asking.

“ … I can … rest by me for the night.” surprised she didn't hesitate in curling up next to him in bed. How she was asking him to not even questioning how he would stop it. He knew she must be horribly desperate to end this pregnancy. If it could really be called that in this moment. It was merely a speck in this point in time it was so new. “... who's the father?”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“someone you know?”

“ stop asking.”

Beverly didn't know many that closely. Who would be the worst choice to father a child with her. “a blood relation?” a question she wouldn't answer. He remained quiet from then on. Thinking of when the violent act happened. At her work was his best guess as she worked late into the night. Alone in a small diner left her open to be attacked. Or was this a dark choice of hers? Not the pregnancy part, but she said she was late on bills. A dark deal between them she feels forced into. Delicately as he could he asked. “do you … tolerate him for bills?” was the best he could come up with.

“no! It's why I keep this house. He doesn't know where I live.” sniffing through fallen tears. To comfort her he hugged her close in a warming embrace. Keeping his hold loose when she flinched at the touch. Using his energy to warm them both into a quiet rest. In the night he leached away that dust speck of life to free Beverly like she asked.

It was the first thing she asked about after waking earlier than usual. “is it gone?”

“yes.”

hearing that she sighed out a breath she had been holding. Getting up to take a long shower to stop when the morning alarm went off. Leaving the bathroom to go get ready in her bedroom.

Catching Pennywise interest in what she was doing. “preparing to leave for work? Couldn't be.” heading from his room to go see her. Catching her as she left the room dressed in regular clothes again.

Curious at seeing him up. “why are you out of bed?”

“you're leaving for work?” his question causing her to fidget nervously. “you've barely healed.”

“i have to.”

“are you working late again?

“yes.”

“is that how your father grabbed you? Late in the night at work?”

“ … ye-...” turning suddenly pale and rushing to the bathroom. The sounds of vomiting heard down the hall.

“she has to work to pay bills that are already late. No matter what I say she wont stay home. That means I have to go with her instead.” sneaking downstairs while she was busy in the bathroom. Twisting himself into the back seat of her truck on the small floor space. Taking up only the space of a backpack that would let him go unnoticed. Beverly didn't after puking her guts out for the past few minutes. Starting the truck to head down the road back into derry.

Pennywise taking a small glance out the window to see the town after so long. The giant craters he accidentally caused making road blockages left and right. Blocks of houses gone or partially missing with danger caution tape marking everything. To avoid being spotted while looking he crumpled himself back down. Waiting for the ride out to stop at the diner where Beverly stepped out. He stayed waiting for when she fully got into the diner.

Hidden from view he stepped out to spy around the place. Scenting the air while looking for anything strange. Catching the scent of old blood on a back door. Little smears at its edging suggesting someone escaping through the door. Unimportant now as he was looking for her father possibly waiting for another attempt at Beverly. Old evidence was only useful to police and that was if Beverly wanted them involved. Looking out, he found no one in waiting around the place. Thinking this would be the case as her father would more likely strike at night when she was alone again. Pacing around he sees the approach of something interesting into the diners parking lot.

“a limo?” watching a man step out from a door opened for him.

The man was dressed in a fine dark suit and bright red tie. A neatly cut short beard and mustache and black slightly curly hair. Eyes a grayish brown bearing a cold stare that was quickly hidden as a group of news reporters arrived. Swarming the bright smiling man for interviews. Many calling out his name repeatedly among the crowd for his possible attention.

Pennywise recognizing the man by his name. “ah yes, tom rogan, the mayor.” watching tom refuse the reporters to get into the diner. “still own the place after being elected?” this he had to see. Using a little energy to sneak inside along the shadows.

Tom was barely inside when he snapped at Beverly. “you!” he pointed at her, causing her to flinch. “office, now!” having Beverly submissively follow him.

Pennywise willing to spread out his influence to save her job if that was to be the case of being called into the back. Discovering the meeting bearing a much darker tone.

“you fix that little problem of yours?” Tom outright asked her as he poured a shot of whiskey on the desk.

“yes, it's gone.” her voice overly soft.

“good, our dates still on schedule and you can make it to the party.” chugging the shot of liquor.

“i-i really don't feel well after-”

“suck it up. Take some Advil, you'll be fine.” pouring himself another shot already. “these damn reporters wont get off my ass. The party's are the only time I get some damn air. Your always good at puffing up the rich business men to support me.” giving the widest most unsettling smile toward her. “your my special girl, right? You wouldn't disappoint me by skipping our special night, right?” his grin dropping to a blank cold expression. “especially with all the help I do with your bills.”

Pennywise could hear the heavy swallow Beverly did. “n-no, i'll be there … a few bills are late.” she mumbled the last part.

“good girl. You'll get everything after our date. As always. My new manager can handle the diner too, right?”

“y-yes sir.” flinching away as he hugged and kissed her. Leaving the diner back to his limo.

The hiding clown creeping back outside. “interesting. Dating tom to pay bills. Is he also the one roughing her up in bed?” putting together the whole situation Beverly was trapped in. between keeping her house, dealing with tom, and working to flee her father's abuse in town. Then there was him on top of it all at her own house. Questioning why she would tolerate so much in Derry over fleeing the town entirely.

Pacing about boredly in watching out for her father the further the day went on. Watching one by one as every other worker left until Beverly was completely alone. The lights staying brightly on in the empty place as she finished things in the small place. Hesitant on turning the lights off and even more so on stepping out into the dimly lit parking lot.

“Beverly.” his voice startling her into bringing up a knife to face him with. Taking a few deep breaths at seeing him instead of someone else.

“what are you doing here?! How'd you get here?!” snapping at him in a shaking voice.

“you're dating tom?” he went straight to the point.

“yes.”

“for bills?”

“yes. Why do you ask? Going to scold me for it?”

“no, curiosity. Wouldn't it be better to sell the house and leave this place? A better option then dating tom off what I know of him.”

“i cant … hes the reason I even still have the house. Technically it's his, he won it in an auction after I couldn't afford the cost on it after inheritance. He's also why I have a job. My rumored bad reputation followed me into adulthood to the point everyone avoided me. Tom offered everything to me in exchange for being his trophy girlfriend to show off at parties. I try to stay useful by convincing supporters to donate to his “charity's”.”

“your a slave?”

“you could call it that. Tonight I have to be at his place.”

“why? Even without the house money you could run.”

“no, he'd ruin me. No one would trust a girl with my reputation. I am only liked as the “poor girl tom helped off the streets.” He has helpers everywhere including in the police force. I step out of line and suddenly I'll be on the state's most wanted list for an armed robbery done to tom.” unlocking her car doors.

“i could come to the party-”

she interrupted him. “no! You're not coming! You could stay here or I could drop you off at the house. Which one?”

“mm, the house.” not wanting to leave her care quite yet. He still had a personal goal with her, although his plans were drastically changed now after all that's happened these past few days. Maybe he could sort things out for her.

#It (2017)#pennywise #beverly marsh #pennywise x beverly marsh #raw nerves ch 4

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