MADISON DAVENPORT in BLACK MIRROR (2019)

CHILDREN OF BHAAL

I adore the vibe of redeemed durge your sister killed your mind and took your place - it was the greatest gift she ever gave you

hear me out, post-divorce girl!Dad Crowley

im not even kidding you guys, the best thing for Crowley after all this is just for him to be a girl Dad. Go find himself the weirdest most unhinged least likely up for adoption daughter to dump all his love onto. One who thinks snakes are awesome and who screeches happily when Crowley drives too fast and who thinks her Dad's the absolute coolest person on or off earth. She'll constantly be stealing his sunglasses or demanding her own pair so they match. No doubt she's obsessed with fungus and she probably draws the most fucked up stuff that Crowley then hangs around the flat, and she'll yell at the plants too with her hands on her hips. On nights after goofy dinners, Crowley will hoist her up on his shoulders and help her accurately place the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling and softly answer every question she ever has. And it won't even phase her when sometimes her Dad is her Mom or her Parent for a while or vice versa. And she'll be ready to full on throw hands with anyone who gives her Dad sad-face. She probably ends up biting Aziraphale when he eventually staggers back into the picture, and the Angel will have to contend with the fury of a real hellion for a while before she trusts him enough to let him anywhere near Crowley. Also i think her name should be Hanna.

do u guys think jack ever let members of the torchwood team fall asleep on him in the backseat. because i do.

Currently obsessed with the thought that it's Q who won't promise monogamy to Bond. He doesn't say it to be cruel. He likes Bond very much. He genuinely enjoys his company over dinner and a glass of wine, which is far more than he can say for many of the men he's slept with. In fact, it's much more than that. Apart from having shagged a couple of times, they've become close friends too.

It's just that with Q's schedule, he's never been very good at long-term committed relationships. His work life has always been too busy for all that. He works odd hours and long shifts, and it's been impossible to make anything monogamous stick. Besides, Bond is out in the field most of the time. He sleeps with other people for work and he has a ridiculously high sex drive for a man his age (speed will do that to you). It's not always going to be possible for Q to meet his needs.

And Bond knows all of that is true. They see each other infrequently as it is. It would hardly be fair of him to cat around while Q remained a saint. Why shouldn't he go on a date and have a good time while Bond is out of the country? Q's there at the drop of a hat whenever Bond needs him--really needs him--so what's the matter with him getting his needs met when Bond's busy? Nothing.

That's what he tells Q, anyway, the minute Q mentions a date.

("Is that a problem?" Q asks, his brow furrowed.

"Of course not," replies Bond gently.)

Except there is a problem. A huge one, as Bond finds out months later, watching Q head off from MI6 on his third date in about six months. Because it stings. Bond has no right to be jealous. He'd slept with 008 in Tokyo only a few nights ago. It was good sex, but it was just sex. He wonders what Q is like when he's with other people; what the sex is like. Is it just sex? Or is it more than that? Does he feel a similar sting when he sees Bond with someone in the field?

Bond doesn't know why he's cursed with wanting monogamy when his life makes it impossible, but it's bloody infuriating that he does.

And it's also bloody infuriating he's managed to fall for a man who doesn't want a bar of it.

Where Did Alisa’s Dad Go?

Mr. Ortega is in one scene in the first book. He is mentioned by Alisa one or two other times in the first book, and then NEVER TALKED ABOUT AGAIN. Like??? Avery gets his phone number???

Also- in the final gambit, does NO ONE think to inform him that his daughter’s been kidnapped? Alisa doesn’t canonically have siblings, but her dad is IN AVERY’S CONTACTS. You have time to threaten Mr. Laughlin that you’ll burn a maze down (how does she expect to find people without Alisa?) but you don’t have time for a quick call to a probably worried father?

Maybe Nash or someone told him, but I find it HIGHLY unrealistic that he wouldn’t come banging on the door to help get his daughter back.

In conclusion- justice for Alisa and her father.

i've developed some interesting methods of handling having a relationship with my mother who made my childhood/teen years misery and committed more than a little abuse.

as an adult, we have a very different dynamic, her daughters (sister and i) have confronted her with a lot of her bullshit and the things she both did and enabled. for some she has been sorrowful and even sometimes apologetic. she's a better mother to me now than she ever was when i most needed one. so i'll never actually trust her again, and she'll never be much deeper than surface level in my life, but we have something mostly good now, and on my terms.

however, she is very definitely one of those "i don't remember it that way" and "i did the best i could" mothers in a lot of areas, and has also always been the type to (probably unconsciously) emotionally manipulate the people she's hurt into catering to her hurt feelings about it instead.

over the years i've learned to get really comfortable with just not indulging it.

is she having a bad day, seems sad and upset? i'll give her a hug, try to make her laugh. if she throws broad hints it's a surge of hurt feelings about having driven one of her children to cut her off? well i'm just gonna stand there and not acknowledge or entertain it.

"well, apparently i was a bad mother" or shit like that? i'm just gonna look at her for a second, and i might either shrug or even nod, but i'm not saying a damn thing. i'm not awkwardly, uncomfortably, painfully contorting to her guilt trip nonsense. i'm not apologizing or trying to soothe her or reassure her or minimize it.

like, yeah. you really were. you know it, glad to hear it. we've definitely had that talk.

best kindness, most generosity i can offer her in times like that is not maintaining eye contact to bluntly tell her "yeah, you were." she can go ahead and feel bad about it.

it's not on me to make her feel less bad. she should feel bad. and i am definitely not someone she gets to seek comfort from about it.

hopefully someday she'll inch past just "poor me, i'm so sad and angsty about it" towards, like, examining the whys and acknowledging what she actually did wrong and work actively to be be better. in a few places, some of that has happened.

but that's her work. her job and responsibility. she can do that shit on her own time.

i say all this to offer a shoulder of solidarity to others like me. if you maintain a complicated relationship as an adult with the parent who hurt you and did you wrong as a child, that is okay. you get to choose how and if to thread that needle.

but you don't have to accommodate emotional manipulation and guilt trip garbage. stonewall it. walk away if you need to. don't apologize. don't try to make it better. that's not on you and it doesn't have to be. it's okay.

he went to space you know..

Anya saying this made me sad. We know that Loid has been trying his best to go easier on her and remind himself that she’s just a kid but, at the end of the day, the unfortunate reality is that the fate on the world depends on this baby. Loid knows that. She knows that. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a four year old but Loid has to be strict on her grades because the mission is so important to ensure the peaceful lives of so many, including Anya herself.

However, I’ve been thinking about how Loid has been trying to find this balance between allowing her to be a kid while still making sure she’s focusing on her studies. And he’s been doing a great job— he becomes a better father each day. But there are still times when maybe he’s a little harsher on her than necessary.

The thing is, though, we know he’s proud of her. We know he acknowledges how hard she’s been working, even if he can’t bring himself to say it out loud.

Something that we also know is that Anya craves her father’s praise. Not only is she a little girl with a tough past, but the Forger family is a certified words-of-affirmation-as-their-love-language™ type of family, so of course she would want to be told that she’s doing a good job by the person she loves most. It’s a good thing Anya can read his mind and hear what he’s really thinking, but it’s not the same as hearing it from his own mouth.

So then I started thinking: Why doesn’t he tell Anya what he’s thinking? Why doesn’t he praise her and encourage her?

Well, I think it’s because he doesn’t deem himself worthy of praising her. We know from his conversation with Yor back in the first part of the anime that he doesn’t think Anya sees him as a real father— And perhaps he’s just trying to convince himself of that; the idea that she’s not really that attached to him, so that it’s easier to say goodbye when the time comes— But, based on this conversation, we know he believes that, because he’s not her “real” father, his words have no effect on her.

Yes, he had a very productive discussion with Yor about this, and she helped him see it from a completely different point of view (the only point of view aka the fact that Anya loves them both unconditionally and sees them as her only parents), but it’s not like one conversation is enough to really ingrain something in your brain. Just like how, even though Loid has constantly reassured her that it’s not true, Yor still has moments where she feels like a failure as a mother/wife.

Loid doesn’t praise Anya because he doesn’t think it’s his place, since he thinks that Anya doesn’t see him as her actual father. And it makes me really sad because we all know that this baby loves him and Yor more than anything in the world, and all she wants is to make them proud.

But it’s good to see that Anya thinks he’s nice, even if he can be a bit of a monster sometimes 🫶🏼

babygirl you are my EVERYTHINg..!!.,1!1!

how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?

hello everyone, I hope you're all doing great! just passing by to say i'm officially going to be a librarian :) follow your dreams kids

if supernatural was any good, they would have had mary and lucifer sleep together in the apocalypse world. this would have solved zero problems with the show, but it would have created a hundred more interesting ones than they already had.

not to be another donations post but you may remember how over the summer we had massive amounts of plumbing problems and other unexpected moving costs? well. after proceeding to work every single hour available to me for six months, take no holidays whatsoever, and budget the hell out of every aspect of my life, I was actually on track to pay everything back and maybe have a little bit of wiggle room by the time summer came around!

and then we got a call from the vet about routine labs saying that if we didn't take Suzy in to an emergency specialty hospital immediately, she would die within in a week, she might die anyways if we took her there, but it was our only chance to have a few more months with her. after an extremely difficult household discussion, we decided that we needed to do as much as we could for her. she's been a beloved member of the family for 18 years. we were not going to abandon her in her hour of need.

with two days at the specialty hospital, the prognosis was better than we could have possibly hoped! the most important thing is she does not have heart problems at all, which means that we can treat her chronic kidney disease with normal IV fluids and with careful treatment she could easily be with us for years to come. the timely intervention also may or may not have saved her from acute kidney failure too, we'll know when we go back to the vet on Wednesday to get her blood checked where her levels have stabilized at.

two days at the specialty hospital means we are also down $3652 , and no longer are on track to pay back everything by July when it comes due unless a couple of uncertain things going forward Go Right, I do not trust everything to Go Right, and we're also still uncertain about what long-term treatment going forward is going to cost.

I still have my ko-fi and my patreon, but honestly, I'm aware that everything is tight for everyone always and there are also a lot of causes that need money right now and in the face of that "hey my family went super out on a limb to try to save our cat and would love some help not falling off" feels kind of shallow. but like. not to sound dumb or like a youtuber or podcaster, but, like. honestly I think the Most Helpful Thing that anyone could do for me right now is take a fucking HelloFresh link that will send you a "free" box for cost-of-shipping ($7ish?) if you Sign Up For An Account that you can then cancel Immediately After The Box Has Shipped and Never Give Them Any More Money Than That and get Six To Ten Meals Out Of It, and for getting someone to "sign up", they will give me a free box too. like. if 13 people are willing to take a link then I don't need to worry about food for the next three months. which would be. HUGE.

so I guess.... dm me if you want a link? otherwise expect to see a lot of promotion of my writing/ patreon as I scramble the hell to try to make this money up

(⸝⸝⸝> ·̮ <)◞♥︎ Courier Six icon drawn by @alecrawing

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