#some i genuinely don't care to listen to again bc i listened to them but like. what was distinctive.
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Hii, could you do an Anthony lockwood x reader where they just have a nice chill day. They are together and have nothing to do so they just stay in bed all day sharing Stolen kisses, words of affirmation, cuddling, talking, bed hair, morning voice, makeout?
y'all don't understand this is so different from what i write on ao3 for my other fandom, i am an angst machine there, all of these fluff requests are terrifying bc idk how to write fluff 😭(/lh dw i still love writing them)
as long as you're next to me(just the two of us)- anthony lockwood x reader
(@citizen-01, @gibby31)
a/n: hope i could do justice to what u wanted!! was just listening to beabadoobee when writing this lmao
warnings: none??? unedited, kissing ig, idk cursing?? ooc
Waking up in the morning wasn’t something you enjoyed all that often, the prospect of another day not that appealing when the Problem was still a prominent…problem issue. You’d never grow tired of waking up to the sight of Lockwood next to you though, limbs shot out in all directions-and yet always with an arm over you. Sometimes he’d have a little frown on his face when he was very deeply asleep that made you coo and smile so widely it hurt your cheeks. To be fair, who could blame you?
Waking up this morning was no different from most for you, a flash of disappointment at the world around you, and then giddiness at the realisation of Lockwood’s arm being slung around your torso and the most adorable fucking frown on his lips. You sigh happily, sitting up slightly, careful not to move his arm from its place. You glance at the clock on the bedside table-7:36am- dismiss it because it’s cold as shit, and weave your fingers into his hair, stroking his head and humming a song you don’t remember the name of. Today is a good day, a free day. Lucy will probably stay in bed until 9 and then make herself some toast, a cup of tea and then head back to bed and draw with the radio on. George won’t be up until around the same time, going to the kitchen to grab a pastry, make some tea and then bury himself in research about the Problem.
If he could help it Lockwood would probably not awaken for another couple hours also. Unless you moved. He’d probably wake up to drag you back to bed to cuddle with him then.
You wouldn’t be opposed to that actually.
Slowly you remove your hand from his hair, and then his arm from around you, letting out a small huff of laughter when he immediately moves it back, although still very unconscious. You swing a leg out from the quilt and place it on the (really fucking cold) floor, allowing for the majority of your weight to shift to that side. His other hand shoots out and grabs yours. For a couple seconds all you can pick up is incomprehensible mumbling, and then-
“Darling, come back.” It was a miracle you didn’t swoon, the nickname and the morning voice were a lethal combination. More grumbling and then he cracked an eye open and offered you a hopeful grin. “Please?”
Wow. How are you even alive anymore? It’s like your heart is simultaneously beating faster than humanly possible, and not at all.
You feel his arms completely embrace you and drag you into them. He props himself up on one elbow and kisses your forehead, whispering a ‘good morning’ onto it and then attacking the rest of your face with lazy kisses, his other arm still securely hugging you to him.
“How’re you so pretty after having just woken up?” he asks, and it sounds so curious and genuine, you almost melt, right there and then.
“I should ask you.” You try to play off how completely smitten you are by bantering with him, “Your morning hair is gorgeous dear.” you giggle at the hand that shoots up to try and smooth it down. It doesn’t work but you don’t particularly want to tell him, simply dragging his arm back down to cuddle you again.
You lay together, you in his arms and his chin resting on the top of your head, for a little while, simply enjoying each other's presence. You turn around, burrowing yourself further into the blankets-because it really is fucking cold as balls, far out-and you wrap your arms around his middle. Neither of you are quite sure when you started kissing or who started kissing who but neither of you were planning on pulling away first.
Kissing Anthony Lockwood was many things. Sometimes it was rushed and breathtaking, like after a particularly terrifying case, when he’d push his lips to yours with a certain sort of vigour, reassuring himself of your stable and safe condition. Sometimes it was heated and intoxicating, deep kisses that doused you in gasoline and lit you aflame.
These kisses are slow and idle, just the both of you enjoying the feel and existence of each other. You feel like you’re floating, tethered only by the feeling of his lips on yours. You’re infinite in his arms, your hands have found their way back to his hair, running your fingers through his hair. He pulls away and kisses the tip of your nose.
“You’re absolutely stunning.” His eyes lock with yours and his voice is hoarse and breathless from the kissing but still gravelly from having recently woken up. “You deserve everything and anything you so desire and I will go to the ends of the earth to provide you with that.” You kiss him again, just once, but it's hard and full of as much love as you can convey.
“I think that everything I want at all in this world is right here.”
“That is disgustingly adorable.” His smile is all the stars in a clear night sky.
“Thanks', I try.”
#anthony lockwood#anthony lockwood x reader#lockwood and co#mars's fanfiction stuffs ✨#lockwood x reader
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> Wᴀɴᴛ — IDV! SELF AWARE AU (4)
Victor is not my favorite but I wrote for him as if he was...ngl (◍•ᴗ•◍)
cw: obsessive behavior (?); mentions of feeling/being watched; romantic in someway; light angst; victor is kind of paranoic.; short chapter as always idk why i cant FUCKING WRITE MORE
When he heard you, the experience was nothing short of breathtaking.
...
In a bad way.
Victor thought he was going crazy when that happened, that was his first reaction. He looked around, and there was no one. He looked at Wick...obviously, the dog wasn't the one talking. The voice didn't go away. Instead, it only intensified as he tried to go on with his matches. And then now, some weird feeling would make him move even if he didn't want to. He no longer had control of his body, and that scared him. The stress took control of his being, and he spent nights without sleeping, the idea of someone watching him being unbearable.
So how did he grow to like you? To care for your attention? It's simple: he felt himself warming up to you as he listened to your reactions and tone of voice. Victor was always fond of people's reactions, especially reading the letters he delivered, and it was no surprise that he slowly paid attention to yours too and got less panicked, he felt like he was important to be the one listening to you, and a weird yet inviting warmth filled his body. He enjoyed being the vessel to your entertainment, the doll who would coax out shocked gasps from you as he was supposed to get terror shocked, but somehow was still standing proudly after jumping through a window. He was the man who could make you giggle with his dances. He could be everything and much more if you let him hear more of your genuine answers.
You were the reason for the late-night midnight snacks and lesser hours of sleep. But now, it was because of the countless letters he wrote to you. Letters that he was sure he would not be able to send it out, but he needed to get those fervorous feelings out of his chest some way. Lovely packages with intricate designs piled up inside his drawer, flowers that would slowly wither glued with wax, and sweet words that would never be shown to others.
But now, with letters or not, he can talk to you. He can make you recognize him, and he just maybe, in a distant future, be able to look you in the eyes.
_
This is not working.
You're wary. Why did Naib have to mess up their peaceful approach with his bitter words? Now Victor couldn't do anything but type in a hurry a single 'It's me!' and their titles as he watches in horror the screen glitching and unfortunately going black. His hands go up to his face, hiding an expression twisted with sadness and frustration. Why did it have to be this way? He wanted you more than anything right now, but you wouldn't answer. Maybe you won't ever answer after this horrible experience. He doesn't care like the Mercenary if you may be using all of them, his curiosity is much bigger to care about it.
He storms out of the room, almost running through the long corridors to get the prototype to work again with Luca's maintenance.
priestess next wowwww im excited to see how its gonna turn out bc i don't really know a lot about her 👹...i wrote half of this listening to chamber of reflection from steezy knicks laying down on my bed.
#identity v x reader#idv x reader#idvselfaware#self aware au#victor grantz#victor grantz x reader#idv postman#idv mercenary
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Get to know me
Thanks to @bethanysnow for tagging me!
❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣
Bts and Stray Kids! There's several groups that I love, but these two hold a very special place in my heart💜
❣ Which member sparked your interest first?
I don't quite remember for Bts, but I'm pretty sure it was Namjoon. I was really drawn to his general style and aesthetic, as well as his solo work like Mono.
For Skz, it was Hyunjin, bc gifs of him kept popping up in my recommendations after the 'Oh' mv was released and I got curious and checked them out. So it's basically his fault for bringing me into this fandom, lol!
❣ Who was your first bias?
Yoongi and Chan
❣ Who is your current bias?
Yoongi and Chan(lol)
❣ What makes them your bias?
For Yoongi, he's the grandpa to my grandma energy, lol! Fr tho, I think it's bc he's so genuinely himself?? Like I love his dry humor, his writing style, his awkward tsundere energy, despite having such a soft heart🥺. Like, I will never understand how people think he's cold or indifferent, he's such a kind, loving person. I really admire his drive and passion for music, he's one of the people who inspired me to take back up writing. Idk, it's just everything.
For Chan, he's just super sweet and funny, and he clearly cares so much for everyone around him, from his group members to their crew/staff to the fans. He's also just soo relatable, and I really admire his dynamic with the fans, he feels like a best friend. I also really appreciate his honesty on tougher topics like self love and mental health. He's brought me so much comfort on tough days and makes me want to be a better person. Again, Idk, he's just Chris💜
❣ Who is your bias wrecker?
Literally EVERY OTHER MEMBER of both groups, lol! Like it's impossible not to love all of them!
❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?
For Skz, Minho(I blame @bethanysnow for helping fuel this lol) and a bit Han(the new curly hairstyle and the song covers he keeps posting on insta feel like a direct attack on me I swear)
❣ When did you first discover this group?
I'd been vaguely familiar with Bts for a few years, but it wasn't until my sister sent me some of their mvs back in 2020 that I started actively listening to their music.
For Skz, it was the summer of 2021, just after the 'Oh' mv was released, like I mentioned above.
❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?
No, but a girl can dream
❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?
Bts:
Paradise, The truth untold, Louder than bombs, Blood sweat tears, Zero 'o clock, Blue & gray, Pied piper, Jamais vu,
Skz:
Oh, Gone Away, Sorry I love you, Red lights, Chill, Cover me, Hello stranger, Waiting for us
Tagging @a-gayish-unicorn @crabby-libra @this-must-be-my-tardis and whoever else wants to play!
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what if....jock yuj with short hair KANSKAJSKSKSKS IM SORRY IM O B S E S S E D WITH HER SHORT HAIR U DONT UNDERSTAND I LOVE IT SM IM GNA COMBUST
-🪿🪿🪿🪿
ACK . LISTEN 🥺🥺
so this is like, sfw for the most part i hope that's okay cuz i feel very soft for short hair yuj ☹️ yuj being a nice jock here for once and having the biggest crush on cheerleader reader ,, you're both super popular so you know of each other, but you're not that close! poor baby thinking that you don't really see her as anything more than just being the captain of the basketball team but she was so wrong!!! yuj talking to her teammates about cutting her hair short one day and all of them making jokes about how it would look weird on her,,, BUT LIKE... you and your friend happened to be passing by and one of yuj's jock friends asked you if you think she would look fine with short hair SJDHCKD POOR YUJ BLUSHING SO HARD.. and she's so nervous abt your answer she couldn't look at you properly :((( and her friends knew about her crush on you so they were just giggling.. meanies 😭😭
"i think you'd look very pretty, yujin." ACK yujinnie almost fainting on the spot sjfbfjdkcsk bcs your smile was so pretty and you sounded so genuine 🥺 ofc she couldn't keep her eyes off of you as you walked away w your friend,, and her heart almost leaped out of her mouth when you looked back and smiled at her again,,, YUJ'S FRIENDS PUSHING HER AROUND AND TEASING HER... AND SHE'S SO HOPELESS SHE'S KICKING HER FEET N SHIT... 😭😭
omgomg yuj coming to practice w her fresh cut,, head down n cheeks super red bcs everybody has been looking at her the entire school day,, unfortunately you've been running around somewhere else so you haven't seen her hair yet... but would you look at that! you're sitting on the bleachers w some other cheerleaders and ofc you take notice of yujin's hair 🥺🥺🥺
sjdbjfksc the baby smiling at you cutely while she was walking by where you were sitting.. "looking good, ahn." you told her, laughing when she looked away bashfully STOP SHE'S SO WHIPPED 😩😩 she was full of energy the entire practice!! her shots were perfect too, she had to impress her crush after all! 🥰
okay now here's the fun part 🤭 yujinnie being left behind in the court bcs she had to talk to her coach about stuff,, going to the changing rooms to finally take a nice shower before she goes home.. and then there's you entering right after her... yuj being so surprised to see you she kind of freezes up on the spot 😭😭😭 you truly did have a reason to be there though! you forgot one of your cheer uniforms in your locker, which happened to be right next to yuj's 🫢
ehehdjdkffj yujin's brain literally shutting down when you take the towel from her hands and start wiping the sweat off her forehead and neck yourself,,, "you're doing a really good job as captain. i don't think you get told that enough." you were saying, reminding yujin of the reason she fell in love with you in the first place :(( "i knew i was right when i said you'd look pretty like this." god, how hasn't yujin evaporated yet????? especially when you brushed her now short hair through your fingers so gently :(((
"can i kiss you, yujin?"
EEEEEK LOVESICK YUJ NOT EVEN HESITATING TO JUST GRAB YOUR WAIST AND PULL YOU INTO HER 🥺🥺🥺🥺 she kisses you so desperately but softly!!!! this definitely leads to the two of you fucking on the benches but not before yuj asks if that was what you wanted 🥺🥺 she would be so gentle,, but not to the point of it all being boring, she wants to savour this moment!! 😵💫 very very good with her fingers, and she'd get addicted to your moans... hitting all the good spots that she learned just to hear her name fall from your lips again, not really caring if there was someone outside that then hear the two of you omg...
and then the two of you shower together where you're just making out and getting to know each other's bodies, nothing sexual at all just soft touches and even softer kisses 🥹💞💞
#🪿 anon#ive smut#ive x reader#ahn yujin smut#ive imagines#ive x fem reader#girl group imagines#girl group smut#girl group x reader#ahn yujin x reader#ahn yujin x fem reader#ahn yujin imagines
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hi!! first i wanted to say that i love your writing soooo much you're really amazing
so i was thinking if you could make larissa x femreader where reader is tired and really overwhelmed with her job and feeling a little insecure, then larissa gives support and tell all the things she loves about reader, just really fluffly! thank you sooo much
You are amazing, my love
Hello, darling! Sorry for the wait, I’m trying to keep from overworking myself bc of burnout, but I loved writing this one and I genuinely hope you like it too. Thank you very much for your words and your patience.
In this one reader is a teacher at Nevermore, helping organize the Rave’N while mediating the writing club discussions at their meetings and covering for a pregnant teacher for some time. They feel exhausted but won’t talk to anyone about it until Larissa catches them ugly crying in their classroom. Comfort ensues.
Word count: <1k
Everything was fine. Really, you could do it. The Rave'N was at the next weekend, the writing club had two meetings until then to discuss the portrayal of obsession in dark academia culture and come up with a short story exemplifying their points, and you had three extra periods a day to supervise math class while Desdemona was on maternity leave.
You could do it! And you would.
That was until you couldn't anymore and suddenly you had three more days to go til the Rave'N and you hadn't graded the last projects your students turned in, or wrote your semiannual review, or compiled your student's results to show Larissa, or bought a dress.
You had thirty minutes until seven; maybe you could lean on the desk and rest a bit. But you didn't lean on it. Instead, you turned into a ball in your uncomfortable chair, hugging your knees and trying with all you had not to panic, or worse, cry. You were in your classroom, chances were that someone could listen.
In the end, you didn't have much of a choice, really. The tension had to go somewhere because your body physically could not handle it anymore. Your cry wasn't elegant, you had no capacity of being graceful about it; not when you bottled it up for so long, as you usually did. You were loud and ugly, and your sobs could probably be heard from the corridor, but now it started you weren't able to stop. You thought you would probably not be done by the time you had to leave for dinner.
After a few minutes, maybe fifteen or twenty, someone knocked at the door. You choked and coughed trying to stop before they'd enter, cleaning the tears and water licking from your nose in the sleeves of your burgundy jumper.
"Dear? Is everything alright?" it was Larissa, her soft, concerned voice filling the poorly lit room.
You didn't respond, worried your voice would betray you, but the silence didn't help much as well.
Larissa walked up to your desk and saw your reddened puffy face, your hair could not be looking good as well and you just wanted to disappear.
"I don't think I'll be able to turn in the test results until Monday," you said in a flat tone, not emotionally capable of conveying anything in your speech.
"Oh, my love, what happened?" she completely ignored your comment and went to hug you in the chair.
You were still gripping your legs to your chest, but she covered you anyway, her mouth resting atop your head while she breathed you in. You felt pathetic for the peace it brought you.
She didn't ask anything more for a while, simply rubbing your back and kissing your hair and forehead. When you felt sedated enough not to cry again, you spoke.
"I think I took on too much"
"Really? Do you think that?" she asked with good humour, but it wasn't insensitive, she sounded exasperatingly caring.
"I just really love the kids in the writing club, and I couldn't let Des down…" you buried your face in her chest, letting your legs fall "And we had discussed the Rave'N at the beginning of the term, I didn't want to disappoint you."
She laughed softly, kneeling beside you to look at your face.
"You would not disappoint me for taking care of yourself. I shouldn't have let you continue with all the things you were doing"
"I just wanted to be good" you averted your gaze towards your hands in your lap, toying with your fingers for something to do.
"I think you are amazing just for trying," Larissa's hands came to rest atop yours, urging you to calm "And the fact that you failed is inconsequential. You did wonderfully at everything and you did it alone, but now it's time for some help. I'll ask Vlad to cover for Desdemona and the Titania Hall girls to help with the Rave'N's decorations. How does that sound?"
"Sounds good…" you dipped timidly without looking at her.
"Then it's done, my sweet little doll" she reached for your face to kiss you chastely "Now how about we eat dinner in my room?"
You only nodded, brushing your noses together. She was so close you couldn't help but feel safe. Then she stood up, holding your hands to encourage you up with her, and you left quietly.
#larissa weems x reader#larissa weems#principal weems#female reader#fluff#hurt/comfort#angst#teacher!reader#answered request
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Just a stupid ramble
I don't care what ANYONE says, Drew totally has some sort of cursh on Jake; Henry and Liam know abt it too. You might think: but he's dating Zoey, he can't be gay. (Well he was dating Zoey lmao, they broke up in the most recent episode)
BUT NO.
Being closeted is a thing. There's a chance that he's gay and just has some internalized homophobia, so he dates Zoey as a way to 'prove' he's straight. Also, throughout the series it is shown how shallow this relationship is, and just how little they seem to like each other. And Zoey is literally a gold digger and cheating on him sooo…… ALSO IN EPISODE 6, when Jake sees him in the mall and goes to hide from him, DREW LOOKS SO UNHAPPY, PROB CUZ JAKE "COULDNT" COME
Okay now that that's out of the way….
Even if he was gay, Jake is just his best friend, how would you think he has a crush on him?
PERFECT EXPLANATION FOR THIS.
In episode 5, in the starting scene in the cafeteria Drew gets annoyed when Jake isn't listening to him. He also acts Jealous over Jake thinking abt the music club, saying, AND I QUOTE "Y'know, I'm starting to wonder if you prefer their company over ours." You can't tell me that isn't showing blatant jealousy over it!!! Then Henry mentions that it makes Drew sound Jealous, and Drew BLUSHES tell's him to shut up, then AGAIN I QUOTE "I'm just saying, you used to care to listen to me." ME. He wasn't talking about him, Liam, and Henry when he said that, just HIMSELF!!! AND THE LOOK HE GIVES JAKE AFTER JUST…IDK IT SCREAMS JEALOUS BOYFRIEND ENERGY. Also then they start discussing how Jake is doing the competition to confess to Daisy, and when Liam is talking to Jake telling him to just confess normally, DREW LOOKED SO SAD. I MAY JUST BE DELUSIONAL BUT HE FR SEEMED SAD ABT IT. Then Jake has to leave cuz he's going to be late for music practice, and Henry (our fav character <333) says, once again I quote, "Don't look so blue, Drew. I know it must be sad to see your boy running off to the music freaks, instead of into your arms" and Drew blushes AGAIN. Alsooo its worth mentioning that Drew is rarely seen smiling. But every time he IS smiling (with maybe ONE exception), he is with Jake!!! ANOTHER THING I FIND THAT REALLY SUPPORTS THIS THEORY. Drew acts supportive towards Jake's crushes, but it seems like he only is when he feels like Jake won't get with them. Like with Daisy!! In episode 1, when Liam tells Jake he should just ask Daisy out already, Jake says he's "waiting for the right moment" (When someone says that u know damn well they ain't doing it) And Drew doesn't think he's actually going to do it, saying, and I quote, "You've been waiting for the 'right moment' for years" if this comment doesn't show you that he clearly doesn't see Jake taking a step to get with Daisy, then idk what else could. But Drew see's that Jake seem's to be taking an interest to Hailey, he doesn't act the same way. Well, at FIRST he does. Once again, I'm using episode 5 to support this lmao, when Jake is distracted during the game, Drew and Liam come up asking why he's making them lose blah blah, he looks over to where Hailey is and pretty much puts two and two together. He teases Jake in the moment, clearly thinking nothing will come of it. But when he sees they are spending more time together, he gets angry over it. Also when Jake says he doesn't like Hailey in this scene, his "Okay" comes off as so angry lmao. Also in episode 9 (the episode that genuinely makes me wanna kms /hj) When Jake is acting all blue, and finds out it's about Daisy, he seems SO annoyed over it. (Though, to be fair, it could be bc he justs wants to spend some time with his friend without him moping abt shit, but still.) When Drew says "Are you singing for Daisy, or for Hailey" He doesn't seem happy about either option fr. When Drew gets reminded of how Jake is singing for Daisy for Hailey specifically, two girls he thinks Jake likes, he has angry outbursts (once again, bro is so jealous) Drew doesn't even bother to mention Zander by name, his anger is clearly just about how close Hailey and Jake have gotten. And what about Daisy? Her and Jake barely ever speak, so Drew isn't nearly as bothered about that.
OKAY. That's all I feel like writing, but there is quite a few more examples throughout tmf that could support this theory!! Just a note, unless Drew has a redemption arc and becomes less judgemental and controlling; this relationship would be toxic, and I understand this. I don't want Drake to become canon (Well if drew has a redemption arc..then maybe I do…) and I don't believe it has any chance of becoming canon, though I really do think that there's a possibilty of Drew liking Jake. Which makes me rlly feel bad for the dude even if he is sort of an asshole :(
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Heyy. So I've had a brain rot recently and it's about charles specifically about redbull charles like it is in the d/s au and he was in Ferrari and was feeling like he failed at being a f1 driver ( but ofc its bc of the team and strategist not bc of our golden boy) and reader manages to convince him to leave Ferrari and that they can secure a seat for him in redbull (maybe the reader works for redbull or smth) and charles after being failed yet again by his team he accepts the readers offer and joins redbull and then he is so much happier (bc he doesn't have to stress that the team might sacrifice him or that the car is going to be shit) and at the end it's like happy soft vibes
It can be also a lestappen fic if u want and by the way your writing is literally amazing ❤
And if u don't to write it u can just ignore the ask ,thank u and have a good day/afternoon/night 😊💛
Okay so I love this and I kinda ended up starting a new AU with this somehow? We already have a poly!lestappen d/s au but um, I guess now we have two of them because I love this. I'm gonna use the tag of 'teammates lestappen d/s au' for this.
So my thoughts immediately went to you being the Red Bull team dominant? So obviously max is already your submissive.
I think max really feels for Charles, because he knows exactly what it's like to have so much pressure put on him and to feel not good enough and like he's failing. For pretty much his entire racing career, his dad ensured he had dominants who were extremely strict and for whom nothing is ever good enough.
And so when he sees Charles so clearly struggling and he sees how the entire of Ferrari just leaves Charles out to dry and how Charles's dom never takes him out of media days or tries to protect him, he really feels sorry for him because he knows exactly what that feels like.
He tells you about this, because now that max has you he honestly has no idea how he managed to function the way he was being treated before, and he knows Charles is being treated like that now.
He and Charles have always gotten along well, and so Max introduces you to Charles, because he knows you are exactly the type of dominant that Charles needs.
Charles gets along so extremely well with you from the moment he met you, especially because you just provide Charles with so much gentle guidance? He's desperate for any kind of genuine love and care from a dominant, so for him to go out for lunch with you and max and have you order for him and then instruct him to take a drink of his water and call him a good boy? It's everything. It's by far the highlight of his week and his poor heart aches when you leave with max and he knows he has to go back alone and later that day his dominant will come over and punish him for something he didnt even know of.
I think it would actually be max who first tells Charles to leave Ferrari and come to red bull. You had been thinking that of course, but you were trying to come up with a delicate way of suggesting it.
Max, meanwhile, just blurts it out one day. You were having dinner with them at your apartment, Charles and max kneeling and Charles is talking about how Ferrari weren't listening to the feedback he gave them from his hours in the simulator and max just goes 'Just fucking leave already, christian would love to give you a seat. come join us."
Charles is shocked. He kinds just stutters for a moment and then makes up some excuse and practically runs out the door.
You arent too happy with max of course, but he was absolutely correct in what he said.
You have to have a conversation with Charles about it, and in order to make Charles speak to you, you have to get his number from max and actually order him to meet you. You'd normally never do that, but you need him to listen to you.
You tell him that he deserves better than Ferrari, and that you would be so honoured if he joined you and max. Which naturally makes him start crying and he ends up coming home with you that night and scening for the first time with you and max.
(I am obsessed with this, we need to talk more about it)
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Smallville 4x16
*this episode put me through it, also the character building for Lois is perfection (also, if you see any typos just close your eyes, it was late and I was emotional)*
Clark looks so suspicious😭😭 Jonathan too, the way he's eyeing that food lmaooooo
Please😭
"I'm willing to sleep in the barn." "No that's okay, Lois can sleep in the barn." LOL Clark
sass levels through the roof today for him
Look at how proud Lois is listing all of Lucy's achievements😭 She's the best wtf I love her
"Wow, that's impressive. What happened to Lois?"
He has the time of his life dragging her PLS
"You're gonna find that Clark's charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion." he had that coming
Lois said TRY ME BISH
pls even Lucy is noticing the tension😭
she wasn't playing with that shoulder punch💀
Yeah, Jason is not letting those stones go💀
I really feel for Lana, I feel like she just lives in constant fear bc there's always some weird shit happening around her
Lucy flirting with Clark, just pls no💀
"Lois I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but ever since Lucy came to town you've been grumpier than normal."
I love this whole conversation between them🥹
Also Clark making it so obvious he's an only child from a loving family, bless him
"You might be a little rough around the edges but as far as sisters go, Lucy could do a lot worse." EXACTLY
anyone who has Lois in their life won the lottery, not even an exaggeration she's the absolute best🤷🏻♀️
"I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous she got out and I didn't."
LOIS BBY LET ME HUG YOU LET ME LOVE YOU
the way she's like 'oh fuck I was vulnerable, gotta blast🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️', same Lois, same
Clark looks so worried too😭
this is so wholesome🥹
I think those electric shocks left him with some permanent damage because Jason seems obsessed now👀
Okay let me rephrase, he doesn't just seem obsessed, he's completely unhinged. They fried his brain🤡
Clark is in disappointed dad mode again, he's so natural at it too😭
"You're not mom alright, so stop trying to be." That hurt me personally, goddamn
LMAOOOOO
also, is this the first episode where we see Lex and Lois in the same frame?👀
Lucy you snake
LOIS DON'T YOU EVER SAY OR THINK THAT
To everyone who contributed to her feeling this way, I just want to have a talk
This is breaking my heart, the world doesn't deserve her😭😭
Their dad really failed at parenting HARD
no because this hurts fr, I want to hug her so bad
she deserves to know that she's wanted and loved, SOMEBODY TELL HER
I can't get over the fact that she thinks that her life is less important than that of her sister
Clark defending Lois is something that can be so personal😭 (She deserves a good support system and friends who have her back idc)
I'm getting very emotional about this excuse me
You know I love a character when I need everyone else to love them too. Like I need every other character on this show to appreciate how amazing Lois is.
"I'm a product of my father's breeding. He needed an heir. But your parents chose you out of love."
No because that's so important and I think it explains why both Lex and Lois are so (for the lack of a better word) fascinated with the Kents.
(ok I paused the episode and wrote like 4 paragraphs of character analysis prompted by that quote but idk what to do with them and if they make any sense, maybe I'll make a separate post🤡)
I need you guys to understand how much it means to me that he really cares about Lois😭
Not even in any sort of romantic context, just that someone genuinely cares if she's okay or not because she's obviously never really had someone take care of her😭😭😭
I mean listen, good for Lionel that he's not an absolute monster anymore but he really needs to stay out of Lex's business💀💀
WAIT A MINUTE HOLD ON.
HOLD ONNNNNN
Did Lana vandalize her own apartment? Or did she just hide the stone and whoever searched for it didn't find it? In any case she's learning how to play the game, good for her😌😌
Okay, first of all: More reasons to love Lois, she's self-aware and she can admit when she's wrong about something. Seriously I love her.
Second: Again, they way she's ready to be kicked out of the farm for something that wasn't even her fault??? MR. SAM LANE, SAMMY, GENERAL LANE, I'D LIKE TO HAVE SOME WORDS WITH YOU. Seriously though, this speaks volumes about how she grew up and it breaks my heart.
Third: The way she tries to be so casual and 'Lois' when she says it, I have very similar defense mechanisms and again, it hurts my heart.
"Yeah... actually I came here to tell you we have food in the oven if you're hungry."
Lois learning what unconditional love looks like through the Kent family is the only thing that matters to me, actually
"You know, all these years I thought I had my sister pegged but... in reality? She's a complete stranger to me."
"Even if that were true, I think that if she called you tomorrow you'd be there in a second to help her."
I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW, HE DOES KNOW HER😭
SHE KNOWS HIM TOO😭😭
"I guess that explains why we're friends."
"Oh, we're friends now?"
"Well, I mean, I won't tell anyone if you don't."
Yes you are and I'm so glad bc you're the most amazing people to ever exist😭
Clark deserves someone like Lois in his life and Lois deserves someone like Clark in her life, yes I'm on the verge of tears AND WHAT ABOUT IT
CHEMISTRYYYYY
shoulder punch my beloved🥹
CHEMISTRYYYYYY
do you think these people knew they just created perfection?😭
🎶now it all begins🎶
written in the stars and all that, I love my OTP
More importantly though, I love Lois Lane she's everything and she deserves all the love in the world.
#ellie's smallville thoughts#smallville#4x16#lois lane#clark kent#clois#lex luthor#lana lang#lucy lane
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Pick a favorite character for the ask thing
(Ask meme here)
Did you know in my years of doing this ask meme, no one has asked about my beloved Hera? Possibly bc I talk about her so much already. Jokes on everyone, we are doing it again
First impression
I have told this story many times, but I was white knuckling it through the whole podcast terrified that she would get her memories deleted. To be entirely fair that was a rejected season 3 concept.
Impression now
I love her! Favorite AI character of all time. Chronic pain solidarity.
Favorite moment
I have many favorite moments, but what's coming to mind now based on some of my other responses to this prompt is that Hera delivers the only "I love you" aimed at people who are physically present. Minkowski says it in a message to her husband, Eiffel says it in a recording to his daughter, but iirc Hera is the only one to say it live, and it's platonic and to the group, which I Just Think Is Neat. (Iconically aro podcast w359 strikes again.) Also the whole quote is "I love you guys, but you need to get it through your heads that what goes for you doesn't go for me" which really gets back to one of the show's points that love isn't enough. You can genuinely care for someone and want the best for them and still fuck up, still hurt them, still not fully understand what they're going through. But you still have to communicate and you still have to try.
Idea for a story
Currently working on a PGW fic where the crew swings by the Hermes on their way back to Earth to rescue that station's AI and Hera has to work through her feelings about facing someone who was in the same situation as she was but did not come out on top. Rn she is being unfair about it.
Hera’s equally on edge. “The collar program is still running, she might not have that much processing power. But be ready in case she tries something. She’d better not try anything.”
“It’s not her fault, is it?” he asks, surprised by the viciousness in her tone.
“I beat a collar program.”
“Didn’t Dr. Maxwell help you a lot, though?”
Hera doesn’t like talking about Dr. Maxwell. “I don’t care,” she says instead. “She shouldn’t have let Dr. Pryce make her hurt them. Just because she couldn’t stop Dr. Pryce from taking her crew away from her doesn’t mean she gets to take mine away from me.”
Unpopular opinion
You mean besides my post that got me vagueblogged about? Here's another one: I don't think Hera would want or enjoy a human/humanoid body. The one time she's limited to a single source of visual input, her response is "it's weird; I don't like it". She's proud of being able to see colors our skull-gelatin can't comprehend, even if she's sorry she can't share them with anyone. She enjoys being a AI mother program when she's on a functioning system like the Sol. Yes she envisions herself as present with the crew in parts of Memoria, and there's an implication she's given herself a humansona, but my interpretation of that was that she wants to be treated as one of them, and unfortunately most of the crew's approach to treating her as a person is trying to treat her like a human. She's not wrong to think they'd relate to her better if she looked like them. (Is that not the same principle the Listeners used?) Maxwell was able to meet with her on her level, but as much as the other crewmembers care about her, they don't understand Hera in the same way. Downloading her into an android body feels like an accommodation for their benefit rather than trying to find a way for her to thrive on her own terms. Smarthouse Hera forever.
(For the record when her VA was asked if Hera would like being human her response was 'she'd try it for a day to see what it's like but she wouldn't want to stay that way'. Seems reasonable to me.)
Favorite relationship
As most followers know I am very fond of her (non-romantic!!) friendship with Eiffel. They've got a lot in common! They fuck up with each other but then do better! They were both sent up there knowing they were disposable and then decide to care about each other on purpose. However most followers also know that in my last few relistens I've been thinking a lot about her overlaps with Lovelace - how they are both surveillance tools that entities use to try to hurt other people, and they both overcome that. Hera is extending non-human solidarity but she wants to be recognized as a non-human person and Lovelace would really prefer to be viewed as human, thanks. There's tension there.
Favorite headcanon
I've posted before that I think she retains some of Pryce and Eiffel's memories which has funny, sad, and interesting implications. Among these I think she kept override codes Pryce can use on AIs so she can fight that kind of thing off in the future, and something that will come up in that Hermes fic is her deciding whether she's willing to use those on someone else. Stay tuned.
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The military school grabbed me by the throat because it’s the worst case of “I took too long to reply it will be awkward if I do it now”, and the fact that both sides got disconnected so hard and it makes them feel the other didn’t care enough to even reach out
Because as much as I love Enid’s perceived one-sided suffering, how does Wednesday feel? How does Yoko? This person who was so special to you, who you were ecstatic to meet again, and they look at you like you’re a total stranger
Sure, apparently she didn’t/couldn’t reach out if they act like this once meeting again, but then again, so didn’t Enid. I always think of assumption as the mother of tragedies, they think the other doesn’t care, and the fact they still do, dearly, is painful and that pain breeds resentment because “how dare you make me feel like this when you don’t even think of me?”
This is just me rambling but I can just imagine, there is this horrible tension between the two groups when together, not open hostility but the trash talking makes people tense around them, and while getting ready Yoko “casually” comes across Enid being alone, it’s tense still, but there is no one else around, it’s just them.
Yoko makes some joke, probably a jab at their teams, maybe an inside joke between just the two them, and for a moment, Enid genuinely smiles, almost laughs too, she actually has to hold back from following along, i don’t know, the wolf imprinted on Wednesday, Enid? Enid definitely missed Yoko
Listen Enid and Yoko going through the besties friends break-up is just personal to me DONT LOOK AT ME
God the enko propaganda, I love them too because yoko definitely feels hurt
Like they ended on pretty alright terms. Sure yoko had to go Mia but she has mentioned that she couldn't text during the winter break bc she's going on a retreat with her family
Enid understood this and so her last text was
'I'm going away :(
Idt we can talk much after this
Don't miss me too much yolks ;)'
And that's it, Yoko comes back after a month or two to the text of 'don't miss me too much' and well
She tries not too when Enid doesn't meet her during the first day. Maybe her girlie was a lil late? It happens
She sends a text, no reply.
But then weeks past and it's starting to get a bit harder to follow her bestie's wishes. Like yoko is a pragmatic girl, but she likes to think that she takes a nice shine to the world. But when the year nearly ends and no Enid is in sight, Yoko is starting to feel that shine dim
And well, Yoko texts her again
There's something quite shattering when she texts and it goes green. Maybe it was a mistake? Yoko thinks. Then she calls and the message of 'this number is unavailable' rings
Oh.
Or, Enid forgot to recharge her Sim card because she's so busy with her school she forgot her phone exists bc of their no gadgets policy
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tuesday again 10/17/2023
started explaining why this one is a little lighter than last week's gallery wall behemoth bc of a uhhhh kind of dire week, personally and professionally speaking, but then realized when fic authors do that in front of chapters i don't actually care or require an excuse from them, im just delighted to have a new chapter.
listening
this is a deeply cheesy little folk song but the lyrics "man you name it and if we ain’t got it: we’ll get it" gave me a sensible chuckle.
youtube
now for a moment to expound upon houston: they truly have imported every possible food service establishment. the two chains i miss most from jersey, jersey mikes submarine sandwiches and 7-11 gas stations, are both here. i get that this is the fifth largest metro area in the US or whatever but both of these companies are SO niche. absolutely bonkers. spotify.
i think this started autoplaying after a playlist inspired by f/allout: new v/egas came on??
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reading
i originally had a very mean-spirited graf about the utility of a pool in northwestern massachusetts and the kind of person who can comfortably lose $31k, but it is genuinely awful that there are no rules around zelle. that money goes into a black fucking hole and there's no way to get it back, which is not the case for any other kind of recognized money except cryptocurrency
Did we confront Gary Kruglitz [the pool contractor]? Yes we did. We marched right into his office and grilled him hard until he defeated us with a simple and probing question: What's a zelle? It defied belief, we quickly realized, that a man who had been trapped in technological amber since the Nixon era was running a cyberscam designed to come between us and our money out of an AOL account.
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watching
Van Helsing (2004, dir. Sommers). this movie is horrible. this movie is terrific. i don't have anything to say about this movie bc i was distracted by equal opportunity tits and asses the entire time. the time of the “Kate Beckinsale in a corset” movie genre is long over but GOD. watched with my sister bc it's leaving tubi soon
playing
one week i will have the energy to try New Thing but until i do it’s genshin. there's a poetry event that has terribly boring minigames, but the story quest has finally tied a bow on a piece of folkore we came across in the very first release so that was fun!
wrapping up some stuff in sumeru bc im running out of map pins, this game has done one of the things i hate most: progress-locking one extremely long and tedious collectible hunt (the music gates) behind another extremely long and tedious collectible hunt (the robots locked in the vines). the next time i see one of those little fucking budget koroks i am going to drop kick it into the sun. what the fuck is the circumference of teyvat anyway. it feels like we have explored so little of this planet's surface
i have graphics turned down pretty low bc of performance issues on my elderly laptop and this is still such a remarkably pretty game. look at this big estuary leading off into the distance
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making
i wildly overextended myself this week, partially bc im trying to take advantage of this brief post-covid heightened immunity. lot of dinners. lot of late nights. on top of that BOTH of my siblings were in town for unrelated professional reasons this week :) no overlap so we did not have a nice fambly dinner :( but did have pretty okay separate dinners :) if they could learn to fucking communicate their trave plans and the number of peope that will be showing up at my home that would also be pretty okay >:(
one of the party games i played this week asked the question “what could you give a 40-minute PowerPoint presentation on” and i started saying facts about the downfall of the penn central railroad and they very nicely let me continue saying facts about the downfall of the penn central railroad, the largest bankruptcy in US history until ENRON, until the round timer went off.
i have some thoughts about Train Guys and how it's very easy to fall into being a Train Guy, bc there's a very easy template to follow, and there's a lot of Train Guy content, and have i been doing this bc i actually like trains, or bc it's easy to listen to Well There's Your Problem on repeat bc it's familiar and comforting, or do i just really really really fucking hate flying?
who could possibly say.
mackintosh update: allowed herself to be scooped up by my brother (who she met at christmas and loves) but did NOT allow herself to be pet by the strangers in his company. did hang out in the middle of the floor observing tho. a regular little extroverted socialite!
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fuck professionalism and neutrality, i wanna hear alllllllll of your opinions!
okay, you've convinced me!
no, that didn't take much, bc i am, in fact, not professional or neutral at all! i am loud and annoying, so here we go!
musically, soar is my favourite. it just hits all the right spots for me and builds flawlessly. i just can't get enough of it and it really was a 'fall-in-love-at-first-listen' for me. i've had it on loop since the day it was released and there isn't a single section of the piece that i don't absolutely adore. i think it takes care of all its elements so well and transitions between sections beautifully. just truly 11/10, like i can't express how hard this score goes. blake neely truly outdid himself on this one. i have to mention how much i love the rest of the score for the show too, not just the main theme. i know that's not the topic of the poll, but i think he did a fantastic job and some of the scoring for the flight scenes genuinely raised my heart rate up high enough that my apple watch had to send me three warnings whilst i watched episode 5. but yeah, just a perfect score imo! and if i were being completely honest, in a very unbiased way, my outright favourite.
i do have a nostalgia bias for the band of brothers theme though, and i do think it's absolutely gorgeous and has a delicacy to it that the others don't. it gently prises open your rib cage and wraps its hand tenderly around your heart, squeezing just enough for a single tear drop to roll down your cheek. there's something inexplicably sad about it, but because of that tiny silver lining of hope that runs through every note as well, you can't quite pinpoint why you're sad. it's like you've had your memories erased, but you know you lost something more than just that, that something overwhelmingly sad happened to you, but you just don't know what. it builds so gently as well, and then finally, it soars just for a second right at the end, before landing us back down on the ground again ever so lightly.
so, those two are generally my two favourites, i would say, but as someone in the notes called out, i will admit that had i listened to both of them fresh for the first time today, i would feel more drawn to soar, because it's the kind of piece i really gravitate toward. whilst band of brothers is a show that i've held pretty dearly in my heart for about a decade now, so it has an element of familiarity, that comes from loving something for so long, helping it out.
someone else in the notes of the poll made a great point about gen kill's use of music (or lack of it) being a character in itself, and i thoroughly agree with them and think gen kill's handling of sound was spot on. it's whole thing is next-level-gritty-realism and it wouldn't have been as impactful, or successful, if they'd done it any other way when it came to sound design.
plus, ray providing the soundtrack is just top television!
honor is somber but also light in a way, so it doesn't overpower you too much, i prefer the beginning and middle sections, as the end builds into a more standard patriotic sounding piece (still beautiful but i find myself enjoying the earlier section much, much more). but yeah, it's still a favourite to listen to, i just don't tend to feel as drawn towards it as much as the other two.
i'll stop rambling now but i could go on all day about how much i love soar like i can't seem to shut up about it?
there's no right answer tbf like all these scores are great but soar kind of is the right answer really, for me at least.
– ask is in reference to this poll
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SALT SALT SALT (long post)
EXHAUSTED SIGH, what is this doing in my dash again.
The first betrayal of his trust, in the novel, was not something that concerned NMJ in the slightest!!! JGY killed a Jin commander! And I think he was right to do so! Even putting the abuse aside, what other chance would he have of getting recognised (that he knows of), if the man kept taking credit for his work? We as a fandom put too much blame on JGY for killing that dude. I think it was 100% warranted
Of course JGY would force NMJ to show deference to WRH! That's his job! Firstly, literally everyone but JGY has to crawl around WRH, so, while very personally targeted at NMJ (which I'm sure JGY did on purpose to appease WRH), it's just Something That Happens.
Of course JGY had to kill NMJ's men! What else could he do? He couldn't save them all, and WRH 1. Is capricious AS FUCK, and 2. would not take kindly either to insults to the Wen or to JGY himself (bc he likes JGY). Additionally, that was not a ruse!!! Not at all! While I do believe JGY holds some regret at killing WRH, it was his plan! So that LXC would like him more??? That is just fucking stupid!
Being gaslit??? Where??? If someone was gaslighting NMJ, it was LXC (FYI I don't think he was, not intentionally at least, but I would see where someone that does is coming from), not JGY! They just do not speak the same language! You know the excuses vs explanations?? Yeah! That's what was happening! JGY trying to explain himself and NMJ thinking he was making excuses!
Never does JGY deny doing anything, or try to make NMJ doubt himself, or shift blame, or literally anything that could be considered gaslighting!
"Doubting his judgement" did he? Did NMJ ever doubt his judgement? Even when he had reasons to? Or is he just so goddamn obstinate that when he sets his mind to something he will not change? HM?
NHS pulled away from NMJ because NMJ was being, you know. A fucking ass! He burned NHS's stuff! We have no reason at all to believe they were drifting away before that! It's not because JGY understands him better! Is because NMJ does not understand him at all, doesn't care to, and punishes him for doing what he likes! I'm not going into how NMJ was trying to force NHS to follow a path that would get him killed, violently, but that!!! That!!! Yeah!
He threathened to beat him and JGY together! And we have no reason to believe it was an empty threath! Burning the fans was just a threath before, too! And if you read that scene carefully, you'll see that NHS is genuinely terrified. He locks himself away for days after. I don't blame NMJ for it entirely, but at the end of his life he was getting legitimately abusive towards NHS.
NMJ can't explain JGY is evil because he is not. Because everything that JGY ever does to wrong NMJ is either necessary (the fire palace exchange), not related to him at all (the Jin commander), or completely out of his hands (the XY situation).
For every action there is a reaction. Though they do retraumatize eachother, NMJ does it more and more severely, with less justification. I can't even call them mutually abusive because NMJ is doing all the abuse, and JGY's actions are reactionary. These two should have gone separate ways after sunshot.
And sure, JGY killed him in a horrible way, but it was NMJ that made their relationship kill or get killed. NOT JGY. JGY went ahead with turmnoil after three separate murder attemps.
After the staircase scene showed him that their relationship was beyond salvation and that NMJ would never care to understand his previlege, or to ackowledge their inherent power imbalance, or to stop and listen (actually listen), or to stop and think that his authority as JGY's da-ge doesn't and won't ever override JGS's power as his father. (Especially with someone as filial as JGY is)
I love NMJ. I genuinely do. But this take is so toxic I need to pick it up with a damn hazmat suit.
And what pisses me off the most is that this post doesn't show a fundamental lack of understanding of NMJ's character! This is the way NMJ thinks! But he's an extremely biased narrator and his thoughts should not be taken at face value!
I've never interacted with this person before, but if I had to make a guess, I'd say they're very caugh up in analysing NMJ (which is valid, I love him too), but in their love for NMJ, they started taking his thought process and conclusions as fundamentally factual, which they are not. I could be wrong, but it is how this comes off.
Anyway. I'm done
#jin guangyao#feral little meowyao#nie mingjue#tragic saber man#analysis#character analysis#media analysis#meta#rolls eyes and throws salt
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… okay, clearly everyone else here is just making you more upset. Let me try. Sorry if I offend you at all during this, it’s not my intention. I really do just want to talk.
Hi, Kieran! You can call me Dusk.
Listen… I have a few questions. You said you only remember little bits and pieces from before Dokutaro, yeah?
Don’t you find that concerning..? Like, at all? I know that it’s probably due to whatever deal you made with him, but… don’t you ever wonder what you’re forgetting, who ELSE you’re forgetting? What about your whole life before him? The good AND the bad? The people and Pokémon who cared about you?
I mean… you even forgot your sister during this. Sure, she was mean, overly controlling, and a fair bit bossy… but she cares. She’s worried about you. I mean, I have sisters myself. Do they annoy me, anger me, and get on my nerves sometimes? Yeah, all the time. Would we all still fight someone to defend the others’ honors? Absolutely, NO hesitation. Something tells me that Carmine would do the same for you, she just… doesn’t know how to not go overboard.
And… I hate to say it, but if you had LOST memories from making the deal with Dokutaro, then isn’t it entirely possible he could be MANIPULATING what remains of those memories? Making you believe things that aren’t true?
I’m not accusing Dokutaro of lying, don’t get me wrong. I’m just saying that… he may not be telling you everything. Now, I know what you might say to that.
“But… he’s my friend! He’s helped me to get stronger! He wouldn’t lie to me, would he?”
Hate to say it, friends lie to friends as well. They tell them what they want to hear. So I want you to think about it, think HARD. Hasn’t this whole situation seemed… weird? I mean, have you even seen yourself recently? You’re… barely even human now.
Sure, it’s in the pursuit of strength, but is strength REALLY worth losing who you are fundamentally as a person? You don’t need to become someone completely different, just because you want to get stronger. You just need to learn how to balance the growth with who you KNOW you are.
Some deals are just too good to be true, after all. And does it really matter how strong you are, if you lost everything you had in order to get that way..?
On that point of balancing growth with who you know you are, if you’re not sure of who you are yourself… maybe we can help you figure that out! You don’t need to go through this alone, Kieran.
Again, I’m sorry if any of this offended you, angered you, or made you upset in any way. I just genuinely wanted to talk to you about this. You don’t need to make a choice about it right now, but… just think about what I said here, please?
-With respect, Dusk (and her Shiny Hisuian Zoroark, Thanatos).
P.S. (from Thanatos the Shiny Hisuian Zoroark)
We all just want to help you, Kieran. We’re all worried. It’s up to you whether or not you’ll believe us, though. I may not know you well, but as a ghost myself, I know full well… There’s always consequences for your actions, and they can poison your future ones, chain you down, and turn things… toxic. Thanatos out.
//ooc MAY I JUST SAY I LOVE THIS AU?? I SPENT LITERALLY 7-ISH HOURS COMING UP WITH THIS MESSAGE TO KIERAN BC I JUST WANTED TO TALK WITH HIM ONE SINGLE TIME. GOD. I’M SO WORRIED FOR HIM BUT I KEEP COMING BACK JUST TO SEE THE ANGST. Sorry for the big wall of text btw, I know it’s probably gonna make things difficult for you--
"I... I never really thought about it. I mean yeah, I want to get stronger... but recently I've been wondering if it's all worth it. And even if Dokutaro got rid of some memories, the memories still come back, despite his efforts."
"Don't tell Dokutaro this, I know he'll get mad, but I've been thinking, and i.... I want to go back, before I made that deal."
"I want to see my sis again."
//ALSO IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY AU!!! You can keep talking to him btw, he doesn't bite (well maybe he does now XD)
#toxic consequences au#irl pkmn#pkmn irl#pokemon irl#irl pokemon#rotomblr#rotumblr#kieran pokemon#pokemon kieran#rival kieran#trainer kieran
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Hi. I see you're aroace and I'm too so I was wondering if I could ask you a question? Idk if this is something you do I found you through aroace senkuu post so absolutely feel free to ignore if you don't want to talk about it.
So basically I'm trying to figure out what exactly loveless means. BC a lot of people both arospec and not have told me that label might fit (as in I want 0 romance etc. But also no platonic equivalent). However. I am a very passionate person about my chosen career, music, art, my cat. Those are all things I feel so strongly about, I wouldn't know what to call it but "love". Similarly there are people I care about, just not in a way where I want romance with them or a platonic version of that kind of relationship.
(I've seen you call senkuu loveless too, and I'm a little confused BC he clearly does care deeply about some people and possibly even more so science. Why not call that love? Is it a terminology thing?)
I'm not trying to pick a fight, I really like your analysis of senkuu.
I'm genuinely trying to understand.
It's possible to reject the societal notion of what love is. I do so myself.
But there's no denying that the chemicals involved are something everyone experiences. Like. Everyone gets dopamine, vasopressin, oxytocin etc. It's just the context that's different. Much like oxytocin is experienced both in mother-infant bonding and in sexual contact, I get a dopamine rush listening to music but not making out with someone.
(granted romantic love hasn't been that well examined but there does seem to be a consensus on the general chemistry involved)
Same chemicals but different result/feeling, you know?
Not getting these chemicals at all is impossible I think, so that can't be what loveless means.
So what does it mean??? Is it just about society's perception of love??
I personally approached my lack of romantic attraction by Googling the brain chemistry BC clearly I wasn't getting anywhere with the emotional side. I'm not an expert. But the definitions of different aro orientations I see commonly, don't actually address this at all. It's like everyone decided on a different definition of "love" and nobody told me any of them.
Again, I know this sounds very passionate, but I always sound like that. I'm not trying to pick a fight, nor am I expecting you to solve my identity crisis. So really no need to reply if you don't want to. I can see how this would be. A lot to try and answer.
Hi, hi!!
First of all, I'm happy to meet a fellow AroAce!! I'm also calling myself loveless because it fits the most, I did research before and found it was the closest to describe myself.
Second of all, I think it depends on the definition of what loveless means for oneself because as always, sexuality at the end of the day is a fluid and personal thing.
Apologies if some of the thoughts seem jumbled or contradicting. I just woke up, was very happy about getting to ramble and I just don't know how to properly describe my "emotional thought processes" because I decided to illustrate my points with examples.
It's a long read too, I hope you don't mind.
Personally, I define it as a "lack of attraction" because oriented and angled AroAces experience other types of attraction (like platonic, aesthetic, etc.), but don't ask me to explain the difference between either, I really have no idea what it is (no offense to any angled or oriented AroAces). Personally, I find it ironic that the two most known "orientations" of AroAce people are still based on experiencing attraction despite AroAces being known for not experiencing it. So we had to create another word to say "Yeah, we actually don't experience any type of attraction”. It's also ironic to me that we call it "loveless" because it's not that we don't love, we just aren't attracted to people.
I'm an artist, I love art and drawing myself, as well as writing.
I'm also a scientist, I love chemistry, astronomy, pharmacology, psychology, really, I'm just always happy to talk about any subject. In fact, that's my current career, I'm a pharmaceutical technician.
I have favourite songs, favourite subjects, favourite seasons. Favourite shows, favourite characters, hell, I also have favourite ships.
I care about my family and friends too.
It's just that I'm not attracted to people. I don't want a romantic relationship because I don't experience romantic attraction. Same as I don't want a sexual one. I just don't see the need or appeal for another person if the goal is to just have a dinner date or a climax. Sure romance and sex can come hand in hand, but that depends on whether or not you experience either or if you're committed in a relationship. Anyways, I digress.
These two are the typical ones people talk about when it comes to attraction, but then there are the illusive platonic and aesthetic attractions, and many more I believe. One of them is explained later which causes AroAces in the first place to also use the labels oriented and angled.
Platonic attraction, or at least as I come to understand it, is seeing a person and just wanting to be their friend. You see someone and you think "wow, I really want to be their friend!!" also apparently called having a "squish".
I don't do that. I don't really feel something compelling me to talk to this person to become their friend.
Same as I don't feel attraction towards aesthetically pleasing people (which is also a highly individual definition). Or well, for a lack of a better term, the only "Wow, I really like how they look" I experience is in terms of gender envy. I don't want to be with them, I don't want to be them either. I just think "I'd like to express my gender like that". If that makes any sense.
I see people talk about "they're hot" and "they're so cute looking" and how they have this attraction towards them because of the way they look, but I just don't? I may appreciate the beauty by acknowledging that someone has nice features or a cool style, but it's the same as me looking at the weather and going "Ah, the sun is shining, isn't that nice." before continuing to do whatever I did, not spending more time on thinking about the weather.
For a real life example: My sister and I are going to a driving school. She has an aesthetic (and I call it on purpose an aesthetic attraction. She has not spoken once with the guy and she also said it's not exactly a crush) on one of the other people there, which to me makes no sense given his general character he revealed at least at the driving school. She even took his pen he forgot at school (just some company gifted pen from when we got a visit that day) in hopes of giving it back to him and struck up a conversation (She failed to. She was too embarrassed, in case you're curious).
I only acknowledge he has a nice jawline. That's it.
I don't feel any type of attraction towards people. I don't want or need to be their romantic partner. I don't want or need a sexual relationship. Just because someone has a personality that clicks with mine, I don't automatically feel the need to become their friend. If we become friends, great. If we don't it is what it is.
Obviously when I'm friends with someone, I care about them, but it's just... not the way friendships are usually portrayed. I don't feel the need to have many friends, or meet up with them constantly or go on trips or anything of the like. I like them a lot, I want them to be well. I just... don't really feel an attraction? I don't know how to properly explain it.
An attraction for me is either the need to be constantly with them, one way or another, because you physically and/or mentally/psychologically feel the need to be in their presence, whenever an opportunity arises OR that you spent a lot of time just thinking about them (daydreaming, fantasies, you get it). I just don't feel like that. I'm fine with not talking or seeing friends for multiple months or years. I'm also fine if we don't talk constantly too. If the friendship ended because we couldn't maintain it, it wouldn't destroy me.
It actually happened multiple times, I'm fine with it. Do I miss them or feel nostalgic when I think about past experiences with them? Of course, I care about them as people.
But I'd feel the same about it even if we had stayed friends, because I obviously feel nostalgic with things I did with my current friends.
I just really don't have the ""need"" to have friends in my life. I'm not "attracted" towards them, I care about them and I like them, but it's just not the type of attraction or even love that society usually attributes to what (best) friends are supposed to be or behave like.
(Same for my family. I haven't seen some of them in years, I don't need to. I like them, I care about their wellbeing.)
You may be wondering, if that's my attitude towards friendships, how do I even have friendships.
They talked to me one day and we happened to keep talking because we liked what each other had to say. It's been years later, so it's safe to say that we still like each other, but not once have I ever initiated a friendship, funnily enough. All I did was just... reply or talk once and we kept talking and meeting up, and eventually we became friends, and because they know a lot about me and I about them, I care about them.
And this is what I think Senkū is like too.
He cares about his friends deeply and he obviously cares about his family too. But he doesn't feel any attraction to people. He never once had an "I need to be their friend" moment. He accidentally sort of becomes friends with them because of the situation they're in and then develops a friendship with them because they've been through a lot of things for multiple years.
How did he meet Taiju? Because Taiju saved his machinery. Senkū didn't have any friends prior to that. But then they talked and spent their childhood together and became friends.
Taiju introduced him to Yuzuriha, they talked, she helped with his experiments as well, and they too became friends.
Senkū not once initiated a friendship.
He may have approached some of them first, but not because he wanted to be their friend/felt platonic attraction, he just needed them for a plan, then he used them for his plans, but they stuck around and they talked and time passed.
If it comes to his plans or science, he talks first. If it comes to any "emotional" conversational topic, someone else initiates it.
Senkū just doesn't feel the need to have emotional connections, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about his friends or won't develop friendships, if that makes sense. He doesn't seek them, but if friendships happen to develop, he accepts it. He doesn't portray it outwardly, but deep within his heart he still cares.
Everyone in his life started out as an ally, it eventually became friendship. Senkū didn't recruit people because he wanted friends, he recruited them because he had a need for allies to wage war against Tsukasa, then Ibara, then Whyman.
You can even apply it to Senkū's relationship with Xeno, who is according to the fanbook one of Senkū's "closest relationships" (the other one being Byakuya). Senkū respects Xeno as a scientist and as the only NASA employee who actually helped him build a rocket, but even then it's because Xeno talked first and their relationship was strictly mentor and mentee, it was hardly a friendship in what society defines it as anyway. I guess the closest equivalent would be Marty McFly and Doc Brown from Back to the Future (I know, Marty isn't Doc's mentee, but it's about the assisting in science projects part), if it comes to media, but even then Senkū's and Xeno's mentorship would not fit the definition of friendship the way Marty's and Doc's does.
I also call Senkū loveless, because he would never enter a queer platonic relationship (qpr). Entering one would mean you experience a type of connection that is more than friendship, but not romantic or sexual. Or at least that's how I came to understand it. Personally, I'm still confused on what they're actually like aside from them developing from a "tertiary form of attraction". This is where angled and oriented AroAces come in, and why some people call themselves "AroAce lesbians" for example. They experience a different type of attraction towards women that's not just friendship, but it's also not romantic or sexual (at least that's how I understand it, any tertiary attraction feeling AroAces correct or explain it to me, because it's been confusing me for years).
Now look at Senkū and tell me that he'd ever enter such a relationship, when he barely feels the need to make friends on his own. He says it himself "love causes only problems" because of the emotions involved in it. He also, as we established, doesn't feel the need to make friends. If that's already too much and Senkū doesn't have the need for friends, and a QPR is similar, except it lacks the romantic and sexual part and is supposedly "more than a mere friendship", then Senkū definitely wouldn't have that.
I think it's important to mention that, but I think at this point it is obvious, I don't define attraction and caring as the same things.
Why would I? It isn't the same thing, otherwise we wouldn't have different words for it.
Attraction means I myself feel the need to be close to whatever attracts me, maybe that I can't stop thinking about it because I need it in my life, but it can also be superficial.
Care is that it doesn't cross my mind every day, but maybe I happen to think about it once because it crossed my mind, or if I'm with friends or family who tell me about something that happened to them, I care about their wellbeing.
You may also have noticed that I barely even used the word "love" despite talking about being "loveless". As I mentioned in the beginning, I really don't think it's the right term. We love. We care. But it's just not the love people think of first (aka romantic). I love my hobbies, I love my friends and family, I love my favourite characters. But none of this is what society tells me that love is supposed to be or feel like. But it's the most direct way of saying "I don't experience any type of attraction", as misleading as it is, sadly.
And that's it, basically.
Again, it's just my own definition and experience, so how true it is for the majority of AroAces or how much you agree with me, is totally up to you and anyone else. Emotional matters are confusing, and a lot of the time don't make sense and are hard to put into words, but I gave it my best shot with all I know right now. If you're curious or think that loveless may not be the right term after all, you're welcome to do more research on the terms angled and oriented, I bet there are a lot of AroAces who identify with those labels ready to help you out, and who know much more about it than me.
I hope I was able to help you in any way to find some clarity! Thanks again for stopping by, feel free to do that again any time!!
#aromantic#asexual#aroace#loveless#loveless aroace#ask#anon#dr stone#ishigami senku#senku ishigami#ishigami senkū
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hi laurie <3 how is your health? do you feel better?
there’s another big discourse about regulus character, what is ooc for him, what is not, was he right, did he deserve redemption or did he deserve to die as villain. you know, same old conversation, but it made me curious about your vision of his character! how do you view him in canon? do you think he was more morally dark than grey or more grey than dark? tell me everything please <3
hi lovely!! my health's fine, i'm completely recovered!! it was a tough week but i survived that stupid chest infection
oooooh u know i don't care about discourse but i love how u just brought it up to . turn it into a nice lil debate and ask about my portrayal of a character <333
we obviously don't get a lot about reg in canon but i think we get enough!! a couple of what could be core traits (since what we learn of him is all from sirius pov who's . quite biased) and some of his backstory!! so yes, he's kind of a blank slate of a character, which is incredibly fun when it comes to fanfiction but also . i truly believe there's a foundation here, even if a tiny unstable one yk??
anyways, to me, regulus is quite morally grey, but i don't think . he's more dark or more grey . the lovely kat (@messrsage) wrote a very interesting post about this a while ago, they talked about how the black brothers are both morally grey, and that sirius isn't more good or regulus more bad. they move up and down the spectrum, depending on who they keep as friends, on what influences them and their environment. i think the word kat used was morally fluid?? or something along those lines. and i absolutely agree!!
i don't believe sirius was better or inherently good. i just think that they had different responses for the same trauma. that they surrounded themselves by very different kinds of ppl. neither of them is in the right or in the wrong, yk?? they're both victims!! regulus thought that . obeying and listening to their parents and doing what he was told was the best course of action and there's nothing wrong with that
sirius implies that reg wasn't . capable of thinking on his own . that he was 'soft enough to believe them' (referring to their parents) which has always made me think that . despite reg definitely believing in blood supremacy and all that bullshit, at least for a while, it wasn't because he rationalised the whole thing all by himself and thought it was True and Right and Genuine, but that walburga and orion said this was how the world worked and he didn't think of questioning it. sirius did and look where that got him, right?? and besides, those are his parents, and despite how strict and cruel they can be sometimes, they love him, regulus knows they do, so why would they lie. i think he was comfortable, in a way, in the life that his parents made for him, and if not fighting back and agreeing with everything also stopped the abuse then even better
it's like the death eater thing. i'm sure his family had a lot to do with it!! and sure, it was also implied that reg had this weird nerdy fixation with voldemort, but i don't think that means . he was bad . voldemort was such a powerful wizard, and his family, or at least part of it, supported him and chose to follow him, so why wouldn't he find him interesting?? or even worthy of admiration?? he ended up betraying him and sacrificing himself the moment he realised what voldemort actually intended to do. besides, he was a fucking kid. people tend to forget that he was literally 16 when he joined the death eaters. and idk about u, but i was a fucking idiot at 16. not awful or anything, ofc, but i still did and said a lot of shit i'm not proud of, simply bc i didn't know better. but the thing is that i wasn't expected to!! bc again, i was just a kid!! doesn't excuse any of my mistakes, but i do think it's a fact that u gotta take into account when u try to judge someone
i think regulus wasn't a hero, but he wasn't a villain either. i think he was a terrified boy trying to survive. trying to make his family proud. and by the time he finally realised his mistake, it was too late. he still tried to fix his shit, and i think that matters. does that make him a good person?? nah, not really. but i think it makes him human
on a more surface level, my regulus is . proud . stubborn . spoiled . posh . mean in a non-targeted way, it's never personal to him (or not usually) and he's not trying to hurt anyone, it's just . a defence mechanism?? part of his personality, in a way. he isn't trying to be cruel on purpose. i think he's also a curious person, but it's a part of him he tends to ignore or supress, bc his parents don't like it. i think he's a follower and that he hates being the centre of attention, but at the same time, he's jealous of the way sirius seems to have everyone's eyes on him when he enters a room. he can be petty and resentful, but he's also shy and quiet and so very soft. it's a side of him that not a lot of ppl get to see, bc it's weak, but it's very much there, and i think that's the regulus that sirius knew most of his life. the regulus that he knew (or at least wanted to believe) was still there, which probably make him speak of him in such a . gentle way?? like yes, he called him an idiot but he has no qualms about cursing the rest of his family out, and he's pretty mean to all of them (with good reason) except andromeda and regulus. to me, that means he still loved his brother, and if sirius is still capable of . caring about regulus, at least to a certain degree, without even knowing about his change of heart . well . he couldn't have been that awful
there's also quite the debate about the kreacher thing, and whether reg was actually kind-hearted enough to believe and defend elves' rights or if it was simply the fact that it was kreacher, his house elf, and nothing else. personally, i don't think it matters that much. whatever his reason was, he still decided to betray voldermort over it, and tried to do the right thing, even tho the risk was High and he didn't know if he'd make it. that's what i believe says more about his character than what his exact tipping point was
and god i'm gonna shut up now, this turned out to be so ridiculously long i just . find regulus so interesting SORRY NONNIE😭
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