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where-dreams-dwell · 1 year

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Just seen a post which reminded me anew of some of my frustration with the Fantastic Beasts series and the train wreck it became.

Firstly and mainly: Why did they align Grindlewald with ‘preventing the holocaust’?!

There was literally no need for this plot point as Grindelwalds viewpoint and justifications had had little to no fleshing out in the original material (HP1-7). As a result any subsequent opposition to him no matter how well intentioned, well reasoned, or factually accurate necessitates someone arguing that either the holocaust isn’t likely to happen (and so Grindelwald is lying) or has to happen ‘for the good of the world’. You can state that you don’t believe he truly wants to save more lives, that his current methods are violent, that his future plans also look to cause pain and suffering, that his actions will cause division in the magical community….. and still the only take away is that you have to argue in defence of the holocaust.

And one on my main frustrations coming off of this is there was so much you could have done with the character and they didn’t use *any* of it. All we know from the primary material is: grindlewald was a dark lord around the time of the 2nd world war; he went to durmstrang, he was expelled when he was 16 and spent the summer with relatives in the UK where he met and charmed/radicalised a young Albus Dumbledore; he was essentially a supremacist who thought that wizards were inherently better than muggles and therefore deserved to rule over them; when confronted about these views by Aberforth he fights him, during this fight Ariane is killed (and no one is sure who actually killed her); he eventually steals a wand which is the Elder Wand; he is defeated in a duel by Albus Dumbledore and imprisoned in his own jail; he dies regretful of his actions at the hand of Voldemort.

There is literally SO MUCH room to add things in there, and none of it called for explaining his actions as ‘he predicted the holocaust would happen and is acting to prevent it’.

And I just wish they had fleshed out those viewpoints more or have given any creative thought to that.

Grindelwalds supremacy system (to make it distinct from Voldemort’s) could have viewed magical ability as more important than breeding. It’s implied in the books that some people are better at or stronger at some types of magic (Gilderoy Lockhart is very talented at memory charms, Ginny’s bat bogey hex is particularly strong) so his system of oppression could be based upon magical strength. You could have assessment checks or test within his ranks that ensure only the magically strong progress; a magically strong muggleborn is more respected than a magically weak pure blood (think Hermione vs OG Nevil). This would also support his slogan Magic is Might, and the view that wizards are inherently better - it is clearly only magical talent that should be rewarded with promotion and responsibility.

And this system therefore has its own fundamental flaws - just as a system based upon class and breeding will encourage nepotism, stifle innovation, and reward mediocrity, a system based upon rewarding brute strength with access and approval will result in corruption, a strong gang mentality, and violence. Introduce characters that show this, just like the Malfoy’s did for blood supremacy.

And he should have been written as a supremacist: an eloquent, articulate, charming one but one with a flawed and corrupted world view. Someone who is able to win over people to his side, a charismatic leader figure. I wish they had modelled him more like a cult leader; someone who with the sheer force of their personality recruited wizards and witches to fight against the stature of secrecy (under which they and their families have lived their entire lives) and advocate for ruling over muggles. There’s something compelling about him, and once people are swayed by his view they find it hard to leave.

I wish they had orchestrated several confrontations with Dumbledore and Grindelwald where they fought head to head but circumstances always got in the way of them fighting to the death: one side was evacuating a position so one of them had to flee with the fighters to protect them, one was only on a recon mission and so fled to fight another day, one was injured in a previous fight and so was trying to escape the whole time, etc etc. There could have been a run up of fights (like Harry Potter and Voldemort had every year in the books - it’s formulaic but it works) leading up to the final flight between them at the end of the (supposed) 5th movie. The confrontation a long time coming and the audience dying to see them finally loose all against one another. And them not meeting before or outside of these fights? Harry/Dumbledore and Voldemort didn’t meet outside of specific fights, there are magical ways to hide and cloak yourself to prevent attack. Grindelwald stays in a secret location, unplottable and with few people around him: so the only times to attack him are when he moves into the open. There you go, lack of confrontations solved.

You could even have had him not graduate to violence right away, or have the violence be small and not able to be traced to him. Mirror the rise of the N*zi party and H*tler in that initially people don’t take Grindelwald seriously, then they won’t think the small time attacks are linked to him in anyway, then people start to agree with some of his points, and he is suddenly a leader of a ‘revolution’ and it’s too hard to oppose him now. The first few confrontations with Dumbledore or the audience stand in ‘good guy’ could even be before it’s known that he is behind any attacks and it’s literally a meeting of minds, a discussion of view points, the good guy thinks Grindlewalds behind these recent attacks but no one is going to believe him as Grindelwald is an upstanding public figure.

Don’t have him just waltz into a house and kill a baby for no f*cking reason just to remind the audience ‘oh yeah this is the bad guy, don’t like him’. Have him be charming and nice and persuasive to someone and then have a comment or a cut scene or something where he describes a future workforce of muggles to make magical products like someone describing a sweatshop, have him talk about managing the needs of muggles or ‘culling their breeding’ like a farmer would a herd of cows, have him mention the killing or maiming of a muggle like they are an animal or a pet. There are so many chilling ways to show lack of humanity or care, to show how beneath him he feels muggles are, and the absolute worst and most sloppy would be… to kill a baby in its crib for literally no reason.

And the magic system!!

I wished so much for something different for the USA but the system they got in this is just appalling.

And when you think about it, it could have been so much richer!

Like The Mayflower was 1620 and the Salem witch trials were in the 1690’s… so almost from the get go of the colonisation of America, the magical and non magically communities would have been separated. So for the majority of the colonisations cum settlement of the USA witches and wizards would have been in hiding.

In the UK we see magical enclaves hidden away in muggle surroundings (fake doors and walls, additional buildings squeezed between others) but these places and cities have been around since long before the Statute of Secrecy. London was the Roman city Londinium. So when the statue came into effect they had to seal away their magical districts and houses, but they still existed in the same space as previously integrated but now solely muggle architecture.

Not so the case in America. Chicago for example wasnt ‘founded’ as a city until the 1780’s. You could argue that as the magical community had been separate for almost 100 years at this point they might have walled off a whole section of the city for themselves to live in. Or even founded their own cities, which you needed magic to access. As colonisers/settlers moved West you could imagine a group of solely magical people creating their own enclaves. Society and muggle/wizard culture would have evolved completely differently than what it had been and became in the UK due to this concurrent growth and settlement.

Americans think about their national identity in a way unique to them, due to how recently their country was ‘created’. Wouldn’t this translate to the magical community? Would magical family’s talk about coming over on the ‘first Portkey’ the same way people claim they can ‘trace their family back to the Mayflower’? Would they measure their standing in the magical community not on wether they were pure blood, or from a Noble House… but instead on if their ancestor helped found a city, or settle a state?

Immigration/emigration/refugees, what makes someone American, the fight for American citizenship… does this translate to the magical community? Do they view European Wizards or Asia-pacific wizards as ‘not American’ if they’ve only recently moved, or working on a temp visa? Do they worry about other wizards and witches overstaying their visas or their welcome, and disrupting the American system of government? Is their a feeling of the ‘old world’ magical communities being slow and behind, stuck in the antiquated past?

In the UK setting of the HP books grounding the racial struggle in the class system worked perfectly as anyone living within that system understands it and accepts it intrinsically - the arguments and fights over blood purity are just British classism given a different name. But what’s the American version? Is it how recently you settled (is something like ‘first Generation witch’ similar to mud-blood, but it implies your parents only recently came to the USA and so you’re not a real citizen yet?) or if your family has been here from the start (Mayflower Mast families is slang for those who came over with the first port-key, the Mast of the first ship) or where you settled (just as some cities in the USA are seen as historical or ‘established’, is there a similar viewpoint to living in an all magical city vs living in a muggle city and hiding).

And due to the long lives of magical people you could have introduced characters in America who were the Malfoy’s or the Black’s - not due to pedigree or age or being titled, but because their grandparents founded/built/created the American St Mungos, the USA’s diagon Alley. Heck even have someone at MACUSA is called Ilvermorney because their grandmother founded the school. They have a younger sibling still there but they are working their way up the Autor ranks, likely going to aim to run MACUSA at some point, their aunt did in the 1870’s…. Basically make them the Kennedys of magical America.

The list just goes on and I get so angry when I think about what could have been! There were so many cool things they could have done when expanding the world of HP to another country, or when fleeing out the main villains methods and plot. And to see that waste on what they did do, which is now cancelled anyway… it’s just so soul destroying.

#fantastic beasts #fantastic beast and where to find them #rant #wasted potential #thealternatestoryinmyheadissorich #literallywhydidthefirstmovienotexploreamericamore #howdidnativeamericanmagicworkalongsidethis?#frustrated

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lunarbard · 4 months

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This week I started making some sample characters for my 2d6 heartbreaker ttrpg. Very much aiming for a classic heroic fantasy in vibe.

The thing you need to understand about me before I get into this is I love in-fiction inventory systems and despise abstractions like usage dice or, shivering even thinking about it, no inventory at all. Like, every description I write for a new D&D PC details every important piece of gear they have and where/how they are carrying it.

I've been whittling away at my current draft for over a month now, and while it's felt nice and clean I've been running out of steam recently trying to flesh out the last details I need to (and procrastinating on writing my procedures section, although that more so exists to make me codify my approaches since this is mainly a personal project).

So I decided to shift gears to making characters. I'm trying to make my system light and approachable, so I decided to design these as if I were to run this for my extended family this Christmas (which isn't entirely out of the question; I ran the 5e starter set for my cousin & uncles a few years ago, and my aunts joined in when we played the D&D dungeon board games the year after). That means these characters are designed to be used immediately at the table, rather than twiddling with numbers & formulas in an excel sheet (which has killed my previous efforts before). So I decided to draft up something notecard sized in google drawings:

(The whole "dwarf fighter, neutral good" thing is purely flavor meant to give a vibe, keeping in mind that my dad has an AD&D background. There is no mechanical impact from them)

Just the process of statting out some characters to fit archetypes people might be expecting (since there' are no classes or playbooks, and everyone uses magic) was incredible for helping me shape how these characters should work; it even got me to add an attribute (originally I just had Finesse, which got broken out into Dexterity for stealth, thievery, sleight of hand, etc. and Focus for perception and aim) and the memory stat, which is increased by Wisdom (though memory is just used because people will recognize it; it's more so about how much you can tune your spirit so it can properly channel the prepared spells).

And the memory stat is where this came together, really. Because it gave me a reason to make spellbooks important (as the place you consult to prepare new spells), and since max load is low (with -1 strength you have a max load of 10 bulk; adventuring gear takes up 6) those take up space. That got me thinking on how much space a spellbook should really has, and I figured a book worth 1 bulk can hold maybe 12 spells worth of notes.

The mage starts with 10 of those filled, with the expectation more spells can be discovered on adventure. And she can't carry anything else in her inventory without being encumbered. Plus, gaining more magical power largely requires carrying basically arcane batteries (magical staves, crystals, etc) or making pacts with spirits.

So if you're focusing on maximizing your magic, your inventory is going to matter a lot; you'll probably need to spend treasure just on new spellbooks, ink, and flux materials to consolidate spellbooks for certain purposes, so you can pick which spellbooks you want for which purposes.

But how is an aspiring mage going to carry that treasure? They'll probably need to make bargains with the other party members to carry their share, or make sacrifices of basic adventuring gear to make room.

It says a lot about me that this is what has gotten me the most excited about finishing up my design so I can finally start running it.

#ttrpg #tabletop roleplaying #ttrpg design

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optimistpax · 2 years

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Every day i think about how RID15 had so much wasted potential and i cry about it

Anyways please consider RID15 + RBA and Bee team just being an upper year class at the academy

Whirl and Strongarm can team up for some fun detective-ing

Fixit and Hoist causing even more problems with their inventions

Sideswipe getting into extreme amounts of trouble with Wedge and Hotshot

Wedge and Drift and Sideswipe and Strongarm bonding over being ex-decepticons

Medix and Strongarm teaming up to try and get everyone to Actually Read Their Textbooks

Windblade teaming up with Blades to teach Excellent flying lessons

#Fixit Drift Grim and Windblade would all probably be TAs?#so they might have to add more characters to flesh out an entire class but i see no problems with this kldjfg #ideally this would be combined with bee has 3 dads au and op adopts 50 children in the well by accident instead of dying au #but i will take what i can get #also strongarm and sideswipe being ex decepticons is good fight me #optimist.txt #id say sorry for posting so much nonsense but im not lmao #rid15 #rba #this would also be good because we would have not one but THREE whole recurring female characters #the bar really is through the floor with transformers slkdhfg

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gingersnappish · 3 years

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KYLUX RECS 2020-2021

My Kylux Recs in the last year (Aug, 20 2020 - Aug 20 2021)

SO. MUCH. GOOD. FIC!!! We are really lucky in this fandom to have so much good stuff to read!

Fic is part of the lifeblood of fandom, in my opinion-it shares new ideas and AUs and fleshes out the characters and most of all it inspires and entertains us all and engenders all sorts of feels for the characters-it’s part of what keeps us shipping! So a big ‘thank you’ to all the fic authors out there who work so hard at their craft and are generous enough to share it with all of us!

The following list is by no means comprehensive-there are LOTS and lots more very good fics that have been published in the last year that I haven’t read. I just wanted to offer up a few recs from what I know I enjoyed so far! (I also have more than fits on one list to rec-I’ll try and do another list soon!) As always, I rec based on personal taste, and I highly encourage reading all the tags/warnings on any given work to make sure it’ll be to your taste! -

The Flirtation Of Flowers

DaisyChainz

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771553

Words: 5,917

Rating: Teen

Summary:Kylo runs his farm's stall at the Farmer's Market every weekend. He has a new customer, a gorgeous redhead that is curious about the meanings of his bouquets. Kylo doesn't know anything about that, so he makes stuff up to keep the man coming back every week.

My thoughts on the rec: This is the cutest slice of a modern AU kylux-it really nails Kylo’s personality as a (slightly awkward) flirt who is trying his best and just really likes the redhead who keeps coming to buy flowers. Just a sweet little fic all ‘round!

all i have to do is dream

kyluxtrashcompactor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709426/chapters/44373613

Words: 11,456

Rating: Teen

Summary:Armitage Hux has been going to the same bar every Thursday for the last year, nursing a crush on the gorgeous, unobtainable bartender, Kylo Ren. He finally gets up the courage to ask him out, only to find out he has some unusual competition: the memory of a red-haired boy from Kylo's past, who Kylo swears is the soulmate that got away from him.A fill for this SoftKyluxKinks prompt:Anonymous asked: Benarmie with young Ben (around 11 years old) having a huge crush on Armitage (16). Hux finds it adorable but mostly ignores him because he's a kid. Flash forward a few years when Ben is all grown up and Hux is the one with a huge crush.

My thoughts on the rec: This is another really cute young modern AU! I like the idea that Ren has liked Hux forever, but this deals nicely with the age gap and that Hux really wouldn’t notice Ren back until they are both appropriately older. And they make such a cute couple-it’s a great progression from just ‘he’s hot’-like, there is a lot more to them than that in the end!

Homecoming

sigo

(really, read anything by sigo, it’s all my favorite)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150808

Words: 13,450

Rating: Explicit

Summary:“We’re off the next two weeks, you know.”“Yes, I know.” There was emergency construction scheduled to fix cracking asphalt too near a pipe in the center of campus. The buses couldn’t run, and that phenomenon was the only thing that ever cancelled classes. Halloween was dead center in the unplanned time off school, and every bar within a fifteen mile radius would be untenable as the students celebrated. Hux was planning on staying home, catching up on grading. He was rather looking forward to an opportunity to reread his favorite novels. They were already stacked by the couch in preparation.“My family always throws a Halloween party and they got word that I could come this year,” Kylo said, shuffling his feet. He looked almost bashful.“Ren, it’s midnight,” Hux sighed at his infuriating coworker. “Get to it.”“I may have informed my entire family previously that we were dating.”

My thoughts on the rec: One of my all-around fav fics from the last year’s worth of my reading material! It’s got the modern AU vibes down pat without losing their personalities or making them too OOC, it’s got the fake-dating trope done REALLY well, it’s got a wonderful creepy vibe strung delicately throughout for the Halloween haunted setting, it’s got plot and make-outs (and more). Can’t recommend highly enough!

Thaw

thesevioletdelights

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557180/chapters/69982587

Words: 14,316

Rating: Explicit

Summary:They have managed cooperation - efficient cooperation, even - in these past months, which is more than enough. And already nothing short of a miracle for both of them.Still. Ren was a fool to think he could simply run off and keep Hux in the dark.-----When Ren goes missing on a mysterious planet, Hux sets out to find him. He doesn't yet know that he just might find himself.

My thoughts on the rec: This, like all of violet’s fic, is HOT! Like, scorching vibes between them! It’ll draw you in and not let you go ‘til after the boys are ‘done’! And, like all of violet’s fics, the character voices and personalities are also impeccable!

Rocks Break Gifts

elderbwrry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840237/chapters/62777839

Words: 16,706

Rating: Mature

Summary:The Rebellion has been crushed, a coup affected, and Supreme Leader Ren and his Grand Marshall Hux have settled into a domestic routine as the joint rulers of the Galaxy. Kylo wants nothing more, now, than to make his relationship with Hux official, but he can't seem to rise to Hux's challenge of a satisfactory proposal.Or, the five times Kylo proposes, and the one time Hux says yes.

My thoughts on the rec: Ahhhhh, the premise in this one is great! Like, I don’t wanna spoil the plot reveal at the end, so I can’t say too much, but there is a really good reason throughout the thing that this is a Five Times type fic and it works! It works so well and while we spend the fic ‘with’ Kylo, when we find out what Hux’s deal is, it is so satisfying! I Paint My Dreams

Marlon

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685907/chapters/65090566

Words: 26,122

Rating: General Audiences

Summary:Kylo Ren is struggling to make a name for himself in the art world but as the grandson of the great Anakin Skywalker, a legendary pop artist of the 1950s and 60s, the weight of his famous family and his own expectations is a lot to bear.After he’s rejected from a prestigious exhibition because his installations “don’t fit the theme”, Kylo heads to the pub to drink away his disappointment. Later that night as he stumbles home, he’s set upon by some would-be thieves but before they can take what’s left of his money, he’s saved by a strange man with unbelievable Medusa-like powers. The ethereally beautiful man, Armitage Hux, is a visitor from Oweynagat and he has a simple proposition for Kylo - room and board in exchange for making all Kylo’s artistic dreams come true.Sounds easy - what could possibly go wrong?

My thoughts on the rec: Oh goodness, where to start? The Irish Mythology and Fae aspect of this fic is superbly woven throughout the whole thing and the author makes it work really well! Like, this is such a unique and original take on the kylux pair, I love them, especially Fae!Hux in this! And the plot is solid and you get invested really heavily in how they are gonna wind up-at least I did! There’s some beautiful language in this-descriptions and dialogue! And I have a soft spot for Artist!Kylo!

Dating a Monster

mysticmilks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703904/chapters/65139415

Words: 30,401

Rating: Explicit

Summary:Ben Solo was raised to be a demon hunter, as everyone in his family has been before him. He wanted nothing more than to prove that he was worthy to his family. He lied to them and went on an unauthorized mission to catch and kill an elusive incubus. His search led him to Arkanis University, one of the most prestigious schools in the country.He was sure the mission was going to be easy, before he met the cute freshman Armitage Hux. This meeting would change the fate of both of them.

My thoughts on the rec: Add another really good one to the slightly-creepy-kylux subgenre filled with demons and dark powers! This is a great depiction of Kylo as a very determined demon hunter and Hux as a very unique quarry! I love the tension in parts of this too-well crafted! The Green Ribbon

xzombiexkittenx, Lilander (art)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630845/chapters/70176921

Words: 39,679

Rating: Explicit

Summary:When Ben was fifteen he left the Jedi temple and took extreme measures to prevent the shadowy creature that infiltrated his thoughts from dragging him to the dark side. What he did left him with a great deal of chronic pain and removed his most valuable weapon, but Ben got his stubbornness from every side of the family, even the adopted ones, and he was determined to find and kill the creature.Now Senator Amidala of Naboo, Ben uses his position to make the galaxy a less awful place when he can, but being senator also gave him very useful contacts in his search for the creature. When he met Major Hux of the First Order, Ben thought he could get game-changing information out of him, one way or another, but things rarely go Ben's way and it got complicated much faster than Ben had prepared for. It's never a good idea to mix sex and politics, but Ben takes his fun where he can get it.

My thoughts on the rec: I feel like this is a very original take on ‘Senator Amidala’ Ben, at least from the stuff I’ve read-many props to the author for such a fleshed out universe, filled with likeable, believable OCs, a wonderful plot, great character motivations and voices, and a take on our main man Ben that pulled me in from the get-go! He’s sorta magnetic (in universe and to the reader)! And the sexual tension and sexy bits are very well done! I’m rooting for Ben and Hux in this, on opposites sides though they may be! Comfort Zone

LydiaBSlade

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783797/chapters/65338117

Words: 66,766

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hux is running away. He meets a tall, dark, and somewhat annoying stranger at the airport.

My thoughts on the rec: Travel writing at its best; also kylux fic at it’s best! Young, modern them trying to find their places in the world and finding each other in the process is so cute and almost tenderly done in this! This is a gentle, friendly version of modern Kylo that I fell in love with, right along with Hux! And by the way, I’m not kidding when I say travel writing-the southeast asian setting is vivid and enchanting in it’s rich detail! Outnumbered, Outgunned, Outmanuevered, and Winning

Coriesocks, Ellalba (art)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217253/chapters/69144672

Words: 80,372

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hux’s plans for ridding the First Order of Kylo Ren are ruined when Ren discovers his deception. With no choice but to flee, Hux ends up in the hands of the Resistance. It’s not ideal, but at least he gets a break from Ren. Until he doesn’t.When Ren starts appearing in Hux’s dreams, Hux wonders if the stress of being a spy has taken more of a toll on his sanity than he’d previously thought. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he has to deal with constant pestering from Poe and a mildly inconvenient kidnapping. Of course, it’s Ren who saves him in the end. There’s clearly no getting away from him.

My thoughts on the rec: A really interesting take on something that is both a alternate rewrite of what could have happened instead of TROS and a TROS-fix-it of sorts! Hux is stellar in this, we really get a good look in his head and Coriesocks handles it masterfully! I really liked how their relationship develops gradually in this, it’s Enemies To Lovers at its best! Bloodlines and Brandy

EmperorsVornskr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989934/chapters/54963601

Words: 130,785

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Sebastian Hux is a native of the Deep South who loathes his origins, and seeks to pull himself from the stifling quagmire, but his bloodlines call him back to the property that has blessed- and plagued- his family for centuries.Unspoken secrets fill his inheritance, skeletons fill every closet, and a monster lurks in the shadows, tied to two bloodlines joined by fate, greed and hatred that has spanned across generations.As Hux learns about his family’s tainted legacy that has now become his burden, he discovers there is more involved than just having to be the curator of property that the locals shun with hushed whispers, that he has inherited more than an estate- he also has a terrible and loathsome horror tied to his very blood.When curious young locals come calling, and Hux’s past tormentors come out of the woodwork to simper and scrabble for a piece of the newly rich, the body count begins to rise, the smell of blood in the old slaughterhouse is getting harder to hide, and Hux realises that he will need to find a better way to pacify the hulking shadow that perches on his roof every night before his hometown’s tiny population is completely decimated.

My thoughts on the rec: This one is EPIC! Like, in length (which it needs every word of for the story that is going on here) and in the great portrayal of Kylo and Hux and their relationship! It’s super original too-not just the plot but the depiction of Kylo as something ‘other’ and the Southern Gothic vibes, and Hux-this is a wonderful take on Hux! He loses none of his edge, in my opinion and yet the reader is ‘with’ him all the way through, rooting for him! The descriptions are killer too-EmperorsVornskr has a felicity of expression that kept me reading (albeit in more than one sitting). Also worth noting that this is a wonderful and carefully handled depiction of trans!Hux, in my admittedly cis opinion. The theme of finding your tribe/your people/and your special someone in this, albeit in sometimes unexpected places is warming! I enjoyed every moment of this fic! Gravity Well

kyluxtrashcompactor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062495/chapters/29879001

Words: 176,421

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Snoke is gone, but his death has solved nothing between Hux and Kylo Ren. The First Order's trust in their leaders wanes as they vie for power over one another, and if they cannot learn to work together, they may both lose everything they've worked for.Forging that alliance after years at each other's throats will not be as easy as letting the past die, however—they will face subterfuge, enemies in the shadows, treachery, and being stranded on a hostile planet with creatures out of nightmare, barely escaping constant danger with their lives while having only one another to rely on.And that is just the beginning.

My thoughts on the rec: I realize this one is very well known by now, but I’ll rec it again for good reason! It’s quality long-fic! I love how competent Hux is in this surival-style fic, even without the Force to save him! And Kylo is a badass! kyluxtrashcompactor is a master of the slow burn here and we’re even lucky enough to be getting a sequel (although Gravity Well will also stand perfectly on its own). The writing in this will draw you in and not let you go!

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That’s all for now! I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I did!

#kylux recs #kylux #fic recs #kylux recs 2021 #i enjoyed these fics

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mariacallous · 2 years

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thoughts on julia hbo max (hope it’s ok that i’m coming back to ask another)

(It's always okay :D)

I've actually been enjoying it, which I wasn't sure about when I first saw that it was coming out - it's too easy for things like this to veer into parody and cheapness, and I wasn't entirely sure about Sarah Lancashire for the role, only because this sort of thing isn't necessarily her usual forte, and both period pieces and biopic-esque projects aren't easy to pull off. (I've also watched so much of Julia's work and read both about her and her recipes than the average bear and so have a little more knowledge and expectation regarding the background and context to The French Chef and her life.)

But she is doing a really excellent job at inhabiting the role of Julia Child, and not going too far in the portrayal (obviously she's doing The Julia Voice but it's a realistic one, not an exaggerated or comical one).

David Hyde Pierce is awesome as Paul Child, and is also doing a really good job of inhabiting that role without becoming a caricature or a joke (both Paul and Julia were fairly sensitive to the fact that neither of them exactly fit the mold of an ideal normal American couple and were the focus of a lot of jokes and cruel comments, and were also incredibly supportive of each other and very much happy and in love and so I'm glad that that part is being respected).

I was especially pleased with Bebe Neuwirth as Avis DeVoto, both because so many people forget or don't know about Avis and her friendship and role in Julia's life and also because it's Bebe fucking Neuwirth. I will say that I think more could have been done to flesh her out or add more to her beyond being Julia's blunt-talking right-hand woman who third-wheels, because she was also an editor who helped get Mastering the Art of French Cooking published and worked for Harvard and Radcliffe - I'm hoping and thinking we'll get more about and from her, but that's my only real quibble.

I think the guy playing Russ Morash is attractive (quelle surprise) and I'm glad that they show him loosening up and being more positive towards Julia and The French Chef (Morash worked with Julia on several of her television projects over a few decades as a director and producer, and his wife is also a cookbook writer and chef who's won the James Beard Award).

Judith Jones is probably my favorite character on the show, and I think Fiona Glascott's portrayal is amazing. (And of course Judith Light as Blanche Knopf!)

I'm torn about Alice Naman because I think both the character and the actress portraying her (Brittany Bradford) are excellent and I appreciate that with her they're trying to show and do more with the show, but Alice was also created for the show (and based partly on the actual producer, Ruth Lockwood) and it sort of complicates the effort I think - I know that some of the critics have pointed out the way it looks to have this incredibly smart and talented Black woman helping produce and promote a show that, through the background and life of the host and star and the nature of the content and venue, is geared to a very narrow slice of people (predominantly upper-middle class (and up) white people) and (so far at least) doesn't actually engage with that and what it might mean and say, and how much and how little things have changed. One critic said that while the show hints at or touches on complex themes and issues like that, it's "mostly happy to skip along the (admittedly very charming) surface" which I think is pretty valid.

All in all I've really liked it, and the most recent episode involves Julia Child and James Beard in a San Francisco gay bar.

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fracktastic · 2 years

Note

So you asked for prompts? How about Bill and Laura chaperoning a school trip? Maybe one lasting several days? Maybe there’s only one bed/tent? 🤣

School field trip? Only one bed, you say? This feels a bit out of my league, but I’ll see what I can do…

Let's call it a "choose your own adventure" fic. Like the canon-divergent AU where the Cylons never come to New Caprica? Stop at the section break. I might flesh this one out later, but here's the bones of it. ---

He would never have expected her to be an outdoorsy sort of person and to hear her tell it, she never really was. Back on Caprica, she had been a child of the city, content to pass the occasional tree or park but far more interested in museums and film festivals than hiking trails or fishing holes.

Perhaps through simple necessity, New Caprica, though, has brought out a different side to her. In the absence of chic restaurants or trendy galleries, there is little to do besides go to the one bar in the marketplace or explore the outskirts of the settlements and the wilderness that lays beyond, and increasingly, Laura seems drawn to the periphery

And so, although he hadn’t expected to hear she would be leading a camping trip for the graduating 8th grade class, he isn’t completely baffled by it, either. It’s the customary trip to Aquaria or Delphi that previous classes might have expected, but it seems like a meaningful rite of passage all the same. Bill had even agreed to go along as a chaperone, as his imminent retirement meant more and more days of shore leave with Helo or Lee in charge of the remainder of the orbital fleet.

After 3 years without contact from the Cylons, the settlement on New Caprica had begun to take on a more stable, permanent character. Various buildings had gone up, and boardwalks of wooden planks had replaced the dirt paths in central parts of the settlement. Since his last visit, several of the market stalls had been upgraded to wood and scrap metal structures; the first masonry building had become a small hospital, and there were rumors of apartment buildings in the works.

People no longer thought they would live out the rest of their lives in tents or grounded ships. Even the concept that it is an 8th grade class and not just a handful of the older kids from the one-room school-tent seems like a sign of the progress that’s been made. They are starting to resemble a civilization again, he realizes, and to reacquire the signs and structures of something like a normal life.

Bill is oblivious to the realities of chaperoning a group of twelve 8th graders - especially ones who are still acclimating to the realities of their new lives. He hadn’t realized that when he’d agreed to the trip, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent to him now. Being equally oblivious to the rigors of the trail, he’s opted for fatigues, a fully loaded pack, and heavy military boots. Laura, meanwhile, seems to have adapted to this new life with somewhat greater aplom. Her pack is lighter, her shoes are lighter, and she seems to know the trail.

It is a disappointment, albeit entirely rational, that they’re at opposite ends of the line as their little band of miscreant teenagers follows the path that’s scarcely more than a game-trail. She leads while he brings up the rear. He wants to believe there’s some tactical benefit to him taking this position, but he quickly realizes it’s because he knows nothing about the plants. Three times, he’s nearly walked straight into stinging plants, only to be warned off by the students. He hardly knows this world, he realizes sadly, but he’ll probably spend the rest of his life here.

He watches as she moves along the trail in long, steady strides. In that moment, she is a greater survival asset than he, for she knows which plants will cause a rash and where to find the stream or dry wood, and perhaps even which berries if they can add to the trail rations they've brought for the overnight camp out. It bruises his ego a bit to admit it, but he is a realist.

He cannot help but feel a bit chagrined, for he had imagined playing the masculine hero in a traditional sense but realizes now that his presence is as much to keep testy teenage boys in line as to help with a heavy pack or pitch a tent.

“I hope we're not wearing you out too badly, Admiral,” she says in a flirty tone when they stop beside a creek to refill their canteens.

He frowns at her quizzically and reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, “Is that a gray hair?” he asks wryly.

She shoots him a dirty look although good humor is evident behind her mock glare. After quickly glancing around to make sure nobody is looking, she emphasizes her mock outrage with a gentle elbow to his side.

“Do I finally get to see the spot for that cabin you've been going on about?'' he asks her with a smile.

“Not yet,'' she replies. “I'm not sure I'm ready for students to find it. Besides, I'm definitely not ready for them to find out about those plants.”

“You know,” he says quietly, “one of these days, somebody is going to find out about those plants of yours.”

“I've already told a few people. Selectively, of course.”

“Oh, and who's that?” he asks, genuinely curious now. He knows she’s started to get friendlier with a few people in the settlement. He keeps seeing certain, familiar names in the notes that make it to him on Galactica.

“Well, Cottle for one. He’s run out of some pretty basic medications, and it seems to help with nausea and pain.”

“Thought he’d set up a lab to try to deal with some of that?”

Laura shrugs, “He did. He’s been prioritizing a few of the most critical things, though. Antibiotics. Insulin. Comfort measures are a lower priority.”

Bill cringes a little as he hears that. He has wanted to convince himself - and her - that this place could be home and that she should build her cabin, but the more time he spends down here, the more he’s reminded of how much has been lost. “Who else?” he asks after a moment.

“Just Maya and Soraya at the school. It's not quite the same as a glass of chablis and a hot bath after a long day, but it's better than nothing.”

“How much farther?” a recalcitrant, light-eyed girl asks as the gaggle of adolescents begins to re-form at the trail.

Laura glances up at the sky and down at her hand-drawn map, “not much farther,” she assures them. “We’ll be there with plenty of daylight to set up if we hustle.”

The rest of the trail is mercifully level and when she drops her pack at a clearing by a pond, he wonders if this isn’t secretly the spot Laura’s told him about. “It’s over there,” she says, pointing to a ridge to the northeast, “another three hours or so.”

“And you really didn’t take them just because of the plants?”

She shrugs. “The terrain gets a bit worse heading that way,” she answers him quietly, glancing over toward a small gathering of students, “Jenna’s got a bad ankle - broke it last year, and it didn’t heal quite right. I’m not sure she’d have made it.”

“Cottle didn’t look at it?”

“He looked at it, but he didn’t have the equipment to operate,” she replies. A vague sadness drifts across her face, “They’ve all missed out on so much. I didn’t want to leave her out.”

He expects - again - to have an opportunity to demonstrate his chivalry, or at least his utility, when it’s finally time to make camp. Laura’s tent, however, appears to be a simple civilian one, designed to be light and quick to put up. In fact, she’s set hers up before he’s found his tent stakes.

“You’ll freeze in that,” he teases, trying to distract from the mass of canvas and tangled ropes at his feet. He’s always hated these military tents - so impractical for such a short stay.

“I think I’ll be fine,” she says knowingly, tossing the last of her things inside. “Do you need a hand with that?”

“No, thank you. Why don’t you go help a few of the students?” he suggests, hoping to distract her.

She hums at him and nods before heading back toward the main clearing, where the students are setting up their bivouacs and lean-tos. She returns some time later to find that the Admiral is still staring at an unstructured pile of canvas and rope.

“Having difficulties?” she asks, and he can tell she’s fighting back a giggle.

Reluctantly, he admits, “I grabbed the pack from our quartermaster. Didn’t check for all the parts.”

“So,” she leans in and whispers to him, “You brought a heavy-duty tent canvas and ropes, but no bedroll, no stakes, and no tent poles?”

He glances away, trying to hide his embarrassment, “That appears to be the situation, yes.”

“Well now, that’s not going to do anybody any good, is it, Admiral Adama?”

“I’ll improvise.”

“I’m sure you will,” she says with a hint of a smile, “or we could just be practical about things.”

“Practical?”

“We’re both adults,” she replies, her fingers lightly touching his shoulder, “I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“Miss Roslin, what would the children think?” he asks in mock indignation.

“I think a well-respected Admiral could explain that gender-neutral living quarters are a widespread feature of modern military life, and that one thing is a practical extension of the other.”

“And when they ask if they can bunk-up coeducationally?” he asks.

“Abso-frakking-lutely not.”

“Bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”

“They’re too young for the military,” she answers matter-of-factly, with an affected aloofness.

“You know, I’m not sure your tent will be big enough for both of us.”

“Then I suppose we’ll have to pitch a different kind of tent to ensure we’re both accommodated,” she retorts with a saucy smile before heading back to the students.

He watches them all in the glow of the campfires that evening. The songs hardly enter his consciousness - what strikes him first (well, second) is how different these students are from the ones he’d known before the fall. He sees it in their gestures and expressions that are somehow both ancient and far too juvenile in turn. They’ve felt losses and lived through horrors that nobody so young should have to face, and it shows. And in other moments, it seems that they’re 8 or 9 again, as if on some level, they’re still the ages they were when the colonies fell. As he watches Laura with them, he knows she sees it, too.

He and Laura sit by the fire a bit longer after the students gradually retire for the night. He watches her as she watches the flames from her perch on a fallen log. In this light, her hair seems to glow; her eyes seem far away. He rises and walks around the fire to join her on the log, sitting close enough to feel the warmth emanating from her skin.

“I’m glad you came, Bill,” she says warmly, leaning up against him, “Thank you.”

He runs a hand up her bac, settling it around her shoulder, “I’m glad you asked.”

“You’re really leaving Galactica?” she asks, and he hears the hope in her voice. It’s been a sticking point between them for so long now, but she’s waited.

“Three months from tomorrow.”

“I’ll show you where I want to build the cabin,” she says, “next time you’re down here.”

“I’d like that,” he says, turning his face to hers.

Her lips are warm, like the embers crackling beside them, and he feels her hand roving up his chest. Then, abruptly, she pulls away.

“We should really head back to the tent.”

---

He wakes with a grunt, roused by the buzz of the comm line in his quarters. “Worst frakking moment,” he mumbles to himself before lifting the receiver.

“The raptor is back, sir.”

“And?”

“No contact with the ground, Admiral. The cylons are still jamming all frequencies,” Hoshi reports. Day in, day out, it’s the same frakking news.

“Keep trying. They’ll get through eventually, or we will.”

“Yes, sir,” the officer answers.

“Anything else to report?”

“No, sir.”

Adama lays down the receiver. He sits for a moment, then slams his fist into the pillow. He shakes his head, rises, and sulks to the head to wash his face and begin the day.

#bsg fanfiction #battlestar galactica #laura roslin #bill adama #new caprica #space parents #build the frakking cabin you idiots

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rabidtownie · 3 years

Text

Character Prompts! Pt. 1

I’m still pretty new to Simblr (and Tumblr in general), but something I’ve noticed throughout my one or two months in the community is how prevalent story-based gameplay is. I see accounts with soap opera-esque series and beautifully rendered screenshots that look like stills straight from a CW drama. Some people have entire pages dedicated to their characters, with fleshed-out descriptions and long backstories. It’s so cool to see how creative everyone is with their gameplay; since I spend most of my time working on builds or making CC, I feel like I’m living vicariously through each of the legacy accounts I follow.

Anyways, since my attention span is too unreliable for me to commit to doing a gameplay series myself, I decided to try and contribute in some way to the community by posting relatively general, basic backstories that can be used and modified by anyone.

The way it works is simple: I post a short, milquetoast backstory for Simmers to use if they’re in need of character development. I’ll try and include a small logline/description of the Sim, some traits I recommend for them, their flaws and charming qualities, and anything else I feel like including. If you decide to use this backstory, there is no need to give me credit (though I would like to see if anyone actually uses my prompts!), and you can modify the details however you want. The names that I use, for example, are just placeholders, and can be replaced by the name of your character. In all honesty, this is just an indirect way for me to practice my writing and kill time, so feel free to do what you like with the stories I post!

Now, without further ado, here is my first character backstory!

Name: Toni

Age: Young Adult

Identifies as: Female

Basic Description:

Raised by two loving parents in an upper-class neighborhood, Toni is far from prepared for life as an adult. Despite being 18, she possesses the naivite and cartoonish optimism that can only be a result of her pampered upbringing. So when she’s thrust out into the world of the working class, Toni must try and adapt to her fast-paced worklife and socially-savvy new friends who seem to know so much more about the facts of life than she could ever hope to learn. Will Toni be able to shed her sheltered tendencies and blossom, or is she destined for a life of petty-bourgeois monotony?

Recommended traits for this Sim:

Note - These are optional! You can pick and choose which traits you want to use, or don’t use them at all! I just chose the ones that I think are most compatible with this Sim’s personality/backstory.

Snob

Good

Family-Oriented

Cheerful

Perfectionist

Recommended Aspirations for this Sim:

Fabulously Wealthy - This Sim wants to get rich and have a successful career!

Renaissance Sim - This Sim wants to be good at many things at once!

Friend of the World - This Sim wants to make and keep as many friends as they can!

Positive Characteristics for this Sim:

Toni is very motivated. While she may not know much about life beyond her gated community, she’ll do whatever it takes to reach success.

Optimism is another great aspect of Toni’s personality! Other Sims often see her as the clueless rich girl, but this doesn’t hinder her determination.

While she may be unbearably uptight at times, Toni will do anything for her loved ones. She’s incredibly loyal, and is the first to offer support when one of her friends is going through it.

Negative Characteristics for this Sim:

As a result of her luxurious childhood, Toni is oblivious to many struggles that her working-class peers face. This often alienates her from the crowd, as she can come off as tone-deaf or naive to those around her. While she is ultimately more sweet than she may initially appear, Toni needs to work on stifling her snobbishness.

Being born into an upper-class family, the idea of financial instability was (and still is) foreign to Toni. As much as she may try to convince herself of her independence, she still counts on her parents to pay a large portion of her living expenses. Because of this, Toni can be overly dependent on others to carry the weight of her problems for her. Hopefully, once she steps out into the real world, she’ll realize that she needs to start helping herself.

That’s it for Toni! I might add some other details to my future backstories, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know! I appreciate those who took the time to read this, or even those who skimmed a few sentences and then moved on out of boredom. I’ll try and post another backstory soon, but until then, happy Simming!

- Rabid Townie

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whump-town · 3 years

Text

In His Eyes

Warning: abuse, mental health, lots of talk about food and starvation, hospital, suicide attempt, suicidal ideations, cutting, and self-harm, cursing, and it’s just very dark

Listen, this might be a little much. The themes are dark and it’s far from a happy story

Main Characters Are Aaron Hotchner, Jessica Brooks, and Haley Hotchner

Probably OOC but I don’t care

His pulse is slow against her fingers but there. She calls 911, sobbing. Choking around the weight of his name on her tongue. Will they let her back this time? To hold his hand? He gets nightmares. He won’t like being alone. “He’s--He’s twenty-two,” she rasps, brushing his hair from his eyes. “This is his first year of law school.” And he’s so fucking smart. She needs them to know that. He’s kind. Always remembers her favorite foods and makes her laugh. He’s just a kid. They’re just kids and he’s the only person she’s ever loved. So, they have to help. Please, God, just help.

Final warning for themes of abuse, mental health, food, starvation, hospitals, suicide attempts, suicidal ideations, cutting, and self-harm

Word count: 9,137

For as long as Jessica Brookes has known her brother, he’s had the thin scars marring the pale, milky flesh of his arms. The first time she’d seen them, she was sixteen too old to play stupid but too afraid to call them what they were. At the time, he hadn’t been her brother. In fact, to the world, he had been no one at all. A ghost that walked the halls of their high school with his pained, sluggish movements and seemingly unseeing eyes. Sweaters dripping down his skinny frame and jeans that were made to fit someone nearly double his size. But, for what little credit it’s worth, no one had ever said a thing about him. He was no one. Nothing.

Haley had seen past all of that. Of course, she had. Haley had never loved anything whole. She drank from cracked plastic straws for fear of what would happen should she leave them behind. Thrown out, that’s what. The world has no use for a straw that can not do it’s one feasible job. Not to Haley, though. Their father used to call her Saint Haley, the patron saint of the discarded. And naturally, Haley clung to the idea of Saint Jude. Another lost soul, seemingly just like her, out there to collect others. A reminder that even the lost aren’t alone and that they may not be as lost as they think. And so how could any of them be surprised when Haley, who hung the moon and stairs, brought home her own lost being? Stumbling in clothes too large for his lithe frame and stinking of booze and cigarettes.

Aaron Hotchner has no place in their home. Jessica had been unwavering in this. Look at him. A semester ago, he’d been kicked off the track team for pot. He can’t even go out and get drunk with everyone else. He smokes cheap cigarettes out behind the Miller’s barn and, thought no one could prove it, they all blamed him for the dead birds and cat half-buried in the woods by the school. How could it not be him? With those large, trembling hands and his inability to stay away from trouble. How many fights had he been in this year? How many times had Jessica come from one of her classes to find the student body surrounding his bowed back as he sat over the hips of another boy, mercilessly beating him? So, how could that dirty boy be worth her sister? If she’d asked him, he’d answer her with the same thought Jessica knew better than to speak around Haley. He doesn’t.

So, how could any of this add up? Aaron Hotchner like a straw bent with damage has good in him too. Jessica had never seen the other boys. The way they pick and preen at him. Smacking his head and kicking at his ankles. Calling names at his back. The teachers never do a damn thing and why should they? He’s not the smartest kid in their classes. He sits in the back. Turns in mediocre work. He doesn’t get encouragement. “I know you’re capable of more than this, Aaron.” No, he gets sighs and shaking heads. So, when he takes action. Thrown to the end of his line, he is the bad guy. Because Aaron Hotchner is just the kid no one likes. His father’s name is the only thing keeping him from getting expelled. No one ever cares to see how he flinches from his father’s touch or the pain in his eyes when new bruises form across his body. Because they don’t care. But Haley. Haley cared and her love had been her one and only rebellion.

Jessica had been the sort to fall for the beauty of rebellion, not Haley. Her first boyfriend had been a biker, a senior who would break her heart. Rolling with anger at her father’s words, that she might be too young to know anything about love, had fallen head over heels for a girl in her biology class. And while she hadn’t given a thing to her senior ex-boyfriend of three months, she gave everything to that girl. Sarah Halls with her bright brown eyes and soft blonde hair. Which had effectively taken much of the heat off of Haley and Aaron. While that had not been the intended outcome, Jessica hadn’t minded taking it for his little sister. She’d found it entirely worth it when Sarah broke up with her a year and a half later. Which, to a heartbroken sixteen-year-old, had been everything. Years and years to which she could never get back. So she did what broken people do and spiraled into every self-destructive tendency she could think, that she could buy.

And Aaron had found her. Sweet Aaron with those thoughtless brown eyes and haggard discoloration over his exhausted face. She had slapped him when he first attempted to collect her. Sloppy drunk, high, and convinced that the world should just end right here. This misery she felt unmoving and forever. Despite what could be assumed about his body beneath those oversized sweaters, old and worn year-round, he is strong. While she kicked, crying, and distraught, he had lifted her into his arms and taken her. One arm under her legs and the other braced against her back. Not so much as a blink, not a frown, or scowl of pain. He had simply looked to Haley, waiting for her to direct him. Slowly, shocked by both of them, Haley had opened the car door and allowed Aaron to place Jessica in.

She’d never forget that night. The way he’d crouched on the floor in front of her bed and wiped her make-up away while Haley held her. His eyes, she discovered, were not unseeing. Darkened with his focus, she could see every thought cross through his mind. The kind, gentle strokes of the rag in his hand over her nose and across her lips. Loving.

“Aaron?”

He had startled as if expecting her to be past the point of cohesiveness. She knew, later, he hadn’t even known that she knew his name. What had she called him in the months since Haley brought him home? Had she ever really looked at him? Allowed herself to even think about learning to love him with even a fraction of the devotion Haley has? Now, those eyes darting between hers, he hums. As he often does.

Gently, slowly (with the same apprehension she’d watched Haley show each time she reached for him) Jessica places her clammy palm to his cheek. He stiffens beneath her fingertips but doesn’t avert his gaze or move to pull away. “Thank you,” she whispers, dragging her fingers against his cheeks. Here, she can see more than she needs to. The deep scar on his cheek and another that runs with his jaw. How each movement of the rag moves the sleeves on his shirt just enough to allow her a hint of what lies beneath. The skin of his wrist raised. Scarred.

She looks back at his face. Haley and Aaron may only be slightly younger than her but they seem like babies here. Now. “I’ll still kill you if you hurt my baby sister,” she whispers, closing her eyes with a smile. She hears his soft puffing laughter as if a hand in his chest squeezes his lungs tightly to stop any real noise. And she realizes she’s never heard him laugh. Real, deep, unhinged. Haley squeezes her stomach and she’s pulled back to them.

When Haley is sixteen and Aaron seventeen (Jessica nineteen and struggling through the second and last year of college), his father dies. Mopping up her tears with a coffee-stained napkin, Jessica’s attention had quickly been turned upside down. How could she waste her worries on Sociology when all she can see is Aaron's skinny little wrists and the scars on his face. The bruises up and down his back. Skeletal, sweet Aaron. She returns home as quickly as she can. Though she out-right refuses it the first time, her best friend gives her money for the bus fare. Her father could not spare her the money. She’s only in college because of a scholarship, they just have the money to spare. No matter how many times Haley called, voice thick with tears, and promising things were okay there at home could Jessica stand to believe her. So she took the money.

She arrived back to their silent quaint town on Tuesday to find Aaron had been in the hospital since Saturday. Refusing to eat or move. Restrained like an animal. She might have thrown a fit. Maybe she should have. The nurses stand at the doors of the intensive care unit and inform her that the floor has strict rules. That Haley can not come back. They don’t allow minors onto the floor but had they not broken that very rule allowing Aaron in? So, why not let the rules slip one more time? For Haley, for Aaron, unless they really want to watch that boy die. Is that what they want? And still, they declined her. Sensing the end of the nurse’s patience Jessica had pulled herself together and succumbed. Fine, yes, she’ll go back. Just her.

And there he is. Sweet Aaron. With those eyes and the bruises. The hospital gown leaves nothing to the imagination. She’s nineteen and he’s seventeen. Children. Too young for the pain of life and the coil of death. It isn’t until this moment that she realizes she loves him. There had been a time when she thought it was even crazy that she might love Haley. So, she’d been startled and hesitant with the idea of being inclined to love Haley’s future spouse. And it would not matter if Haley and Aaron broke-up today, she would still love him. As she suspects Haley would too. Because Aaron is a fighter and there’s something about him that just draws you in. Perhaps it’s the surprise he exhibits when you’re kind to him. Taken aback by gentleness and love. Never understanding how you might have come to love his thoughtfulness. Him.

“What are you doing?” The room is silent. There is no need for a heart monitor, just the IV fluids snaking into the back of his hand. Her father had told her about the doctor’s threatening an NG tube which, at seventeen, he doesn’t have the legal authority to deny. So, if this tirade of his goes on he’ll have to suffer through the procedure. But she knows not to waste her time on a speech about his actions and their consequences. Aaron isn’t stupid.

The moons of distress under his dark eyes look daunting on his handsome face. He’d grown into his body while she was away and it had made her proud to see. Her mother’s apple pies had done wonders for him. Having a steady place to come home to, even if it’s the couch in their living room, had transformed him. Now, he takes a moment to understand her. All the weight he’d put on melted right back off. “I’m tired,” he answers. It requires a breath that pulls his shoulders to his ears. His thin, pale lips parting.

She wants to scream at him. Of course, you’re tired! When was the last time you ate? The last night you slept through? But she looks back at those eyes, little mirrors filled with tears, and she leans down and kisses his forehead. It requires no thought, no hesitation to pull him to her. To wrap her arms around him. He pushes his head against her chest, face pressed into her sweater. “I’m sorry,” he whispers thickly. And with her eyes closed, she apologies too. For not coming back sooner. For not being here when they needed her.

“I know,” she answers, running her fingers through the back of his hair. He sleeps and she stays right there. He wakes a few times. Mouth too dry to speak but those dark eyes are always seeing. Always taking in every bit of information he can. She doesn’t leave. Sometimes she’s reading from textbooks. Stalking around the end of his bed with a phone in her hand, angrily speaking to whoever it is on the other end of the line. He looks up and finds her sleeping a lot. Her long legs pulled onto the chair with her and he wished he could move. Find the strength to wake her and move her to the bed.

His mother never comes. Sean calls but it’s bitter and Jessica can see how upset Aaron is getting so she hastens it’s end. Those calls stop coming when Jessica can properly defend that they only make him worse. Proof that getting better isn’t linear even though she wishes for it to be. She just wants Monday when he eats a snack and laughs at her silly joke for Wednesday to come and him still to be light. Not wrapped like a tight coil, arms around his stomach and crying in pain. But health isn’t linear and Aaron has never done anything the easy way.

Three months. For three months after his father’s death, Aaron sits in that hospital. He spends a month in the ICU and two more in general. Seeing Haley both helps and impedes. Jessica finds herself parenting the both of them. Leading Haley to show her when Aaron needs them to step in versus when it’s just best to leave him to his own devices. Because it looks cruel but he needs the silence. Slowly, he finds his feet once again but he’s fallen behind in school and if he wants to graduate on time he’ll have to spend all summer making it up.

But that wasn’t the problem with Virginia summer’s.

“Aren’t you hot?”

Wearing his signature long sleeve, Aaron goes without comment to help Roy dig the ponds up. He hasn’t spoken since being released but he didn’t speak too much before. It’s hardly noticeable to anyone but Jessica and Haley but they both have their own problems to attend to. Jessica is once again taking their heat with her larger news: she’s dropping out of college. So, Aaron’s silence has taken the back burner.

Looking down at his clothed arms, Aaron shakes his head. Continues digging.

Jessica looks up from the porch, waiting for the moment she needs to step in. Legs outstretched on the wooden swing, Jessica looks at the words on her book but takes nothing in. She’s pretending to read. Her father pushes Aaron some more. Offering a tank top or even just a white t-shirt.

“It’s too hot for all that nonsense,” Roy comments, motioning to Aaron’s worn sweater.

Before Aaron can even start doing his rapid, panicked blinking Jessica clears her throat from the porch. “Stop patronizing him, dad.”

Roy huffs but lays off.

For that exact moment, she’s the hero but she’s just a coward. Too afraid to allow the conversation on. Perhaps she should have let her father push him a little more. Make Aaron realize what he’s doing to himself. What he’s doing to all of them. Things aren’t what they used to be. He’s not alone. Can’t he see that?

No. He can’t see that. What he sees is a family he’s not a part of. Painfully reminded around every twist and turn just how alone he is. On Christmas the traditions of theirs that he stumbles over. He’s never decorated a Christmas tree or baked an apple pie. Haley does it without blinking, smiling to encourage him along but he just doesn’t know.

They change. He graduates on time and a year later she does too. With Jessica right there, always encouraging, and positive they both go to college. Haley falls for the science of psychology and Aaron falls head over heels for political science.

For four years its as if that boy never existed. He gets a second wind. A new chance.

But the damage is there and habits are so hard to beat.

Haley comes home early from class. Tuesdays usually mean her days don’t end until nearly seven at night. She’s got study hall and a sophomore that she tutors in Chemistry. Today, the kid had canceled their appointment, and the snow forced her home. Coming in, she’d been excited to find his coat already on the rack. Eagerly she’d torn through their tiny apartment to find him. He wasn’t in the kitchen, despite that being his favorite room in the house. He seems to always be making something, perpetually hungry. The living room had his things, briefcase open, and papers a mess. He can’t seem to think in clean rooms, always has to dirty them up. Their room was barren, not even his half of the bed disturbed. Leaving the bathroom.

Knocking against the solid door, she eases the doorknob open when he doesn’t call out. “Aaron?” Something deep had ached in her chest when she saw the living room. The papers wrong or maybe his shoes discarded almost looking tripped over? Desperate. The apartment felt desolate, cold. Stepping in her breath catches in a gasp, “Aaron!” Sinking to her knees beside the tub, she pulls him up. Moving his face from where he’s so dangerously allowed it to sink into the warmth of the water. Clutched in his hand, submerged beneath the water, a single bottle of Advil.

He’d bought it only two weeks ago. She’d been there, right beside him. Budgeting has been hard and she could see the apprehension in his face when they’d stopped near the aisle. She had mistaken it for fear that they didn’t have the money to waste on something like Advil and now she can’t help but wonder if he’d wondered something else. Would Advil be painless? How fast would it be? But she’d taken his hand and squeezed it, reassuring him a bottle of Advil would be okay. He was getting headaches, bad ones. She assumed he was just too worried to admit he needed them. She hadn’t thought he was suicidal but when has she ever been able to hear the thoughts racing through his mind?

“Aaron,” she runs her knuckles across his sternum. No. No, she hadn’t thought he was suicidal but had she ever really thought he was okay? Don’t be stupid, she’d think, as she sat in the library late at night. Reading books, consuming every bit of knowledge she could obtain without ever admitting to herself that maybe, just maybe the man she’s loved since she was fifteen might be suicidal. Not Aaron who lights up rooms and loves picnics and, on more than one occasion, has woken up to climb onto the roof and watch the sunrise. But maybe he’s not in love with life enough to want to stay here. “Aaron,” she calls, her clothes as soaked as his. “Wake up, baby.”

At the hospital, they give him so much medicine that she can’t even think straight. The whites of his eyes all she can see as a nurse guides Haley through what they’re doing. “It’s a seizure,” the nurse says, unwavering as she watches Aaron’s body jerk and shake. Everyone works around him but no one touches him. Simply moves things away from where he might hit them. “Tell me about him.” She puts herself between Haley and Aaron, averting Haley’s gaze so she doesn’t have to watch the staff move him. Hurt him.

Haley struggles to come up with a thing. “When we were seventeen he--he stopped eating,” Haley manages. Maybe, that will help? “He was hospitalized. He almost died.” Suddenly, all Haley wants is Jessica. Her sister to pull them out of this mess like she always does. Protecting them.

The nurse shakes her head. “No,” she clarifies. “No, tell me about him.”

About Aaron. “He loves blueberry pancakes,” she chokes, an inappropriate laugh forcing its way up. “Really loves them.” She smiles and the nurse nods, smiling too. It’s easier to think of him like this. The boy who used to climb up a tree outside her dorm to wave at her from her window. “He will make himself sick eating them.” His childhood had been so bleak, so bland. He’d known only oatmeal as a breakfast food. The first time her mother made them, he’d eaten so many he had been sick and she’d sat right by his side rubbing his back. “Still,” she adds with a shake of her head. “To this day, twenty years old and he still makes himself sick eating blueberry pancakes. Like--” she starts to cry. “Like he’s afraid you’ll take them away.”

Standing in that emergency room, Haley wonders how much of what she knows about Aaron is true.

“Has he tried to do this before?”

He wants to be a lawyer. A better man than his father putting away the bad guys and fixing the system. He’ll never graduate. No one wants a suicidal lawyer. She’s torn between morals. He’s spent the last few years fighting for this and this one silly mistake could unravel it all. Just a silly mistake. “No,” she chokes. “No, he’s not-- he’s not suicidal. He gets migraines.” She looks up from the tiled floor. “He had a migraine. That’s all. He forgot how many he took and I wasn’t there. I should have been there. He was just confused. I told him to take a bath. Really, he was just confused. That’s all.” Haley had never been good at lying.

They leave her, after that, perhaps having realized they won’t get anything from her. The truth will not come from her, not today. She ignores the tired look they give her when she asks for a note to give Aaron’s professors. So that she can get his work or maybe just make sure he’s not being too penalized. And again, as the doctor signs, he asks if Aaron’s ever done anything like this. “This--this accident.” And she knows exactly what he’s doing. Trying to guide her to the right answer. Her answer is solid. No. Never. And she leaves him to go sit with Aaron.

The nurses come in and out. Looking but never saying. They move over his body and he lets them so long as she is there. Within reach and she always is. She finds magazines and books and spends too much of her time convincing herself that if he’d meant it, she would have noticed. That everyone else is wrong. If the signs are there then it’s not that hard to notice! Fuck this cognitivie dissonance. She’s smart. She would see.

Right?

He’s just smoking more because he’s stressed out.

Normal college students struggle to balance a sleep schedule.

Aaron is always withdrawn.

He’s moody because he’s not sleeping.

These signs aren’t meant for him. They mean nothing. And she repeats it again and again until she starts to believe it. The signs don’t mean anything.

Now, she stands with her back to Aaron. Her arms crossed on her chest, finding the courage to dare them to question her. What lie will she conjure for the fresh cuts on his arm? Not even healed. Probably done last night in the bathroom with the kit he taped to the bottom of the sink. With the razors she pretends not to see wrapped in toilet paper. But she’s afraid to say something. They’ve been together for half a decade and he’s only just now started sleeping without a shirt. Only just allowed her to see his body. The cuts and the scars both from his own hand and his father’s.

But they don’t say anything. Perhaps it’s too taboo but no one says anything.

The signs mean nothing. He smokes because he always has. He’s withdrawn because he always has been. Aaron is and always has been these signs. So, he’s fine.

He’s fine.

They get married at the end of the next semester. He’s had months to recover but the body isn’t so quick to forgive. His voice is rough from where they had to intubate him for so long but the therapist all assure them that with time his voice will lose its rasp and he’ll sound like himself again. His classmates poke at him for his “time-off” and he’d prefer they think him a spoiled brat off partying than what he really is. A disaster. One misstep away from trying again.

He never voices this. He doesn’t tell the therapists or Haley.

“I want to apply to the academy.”

Marriage is not even marginally the hardest thing he’s been forced to understand. He knows what he’s doing when he makes Haley his sole beneficiary-- asides from his textbooks which he wants to go to Jessica because she’s still bitter he “wasted” himself with the bitterness of law. But marriage is easy. Giving himself is second nature. He never thinks about the little things she clings to. How he always remembers to put the seat down and cooks dinner or washes the dishes. He’s not normal.

But this sudden change of pace takes her by surprise. “The-- The academy?” At first, she thinks of films and actors and actresses. That sort of academy but bitterly, sickly she remembers how close they are to Quantico. About David Rossi & Jason Gideon, who he met two weeks ago and hasn’t stopped talking about since. There’s a flush to his face, excitement she hasn’t seen in the longest time. And she wants to say yes but she can’t be certain this isn’t some new method he’s found to hurt himself.

He nods, shoveling corn and green beans into his mouth. Happy, she realizes. He’s happy.

“It’ll be in the fall so I’d have a few more months left with the District Attorney.”

No. She wants to say no so badly. The last thing they need is a gun. As if she doesn’t already check the knives over, counting and recounting the razors he uses to shave. Convinced he’ll try again. But she can’t say no because she doesn’t have a good reason. They’re financially stable. She’s working at a school only down the street and joining the academy won’t be taxing. It’ll be a bit of a money cut but he’s not making bank with the DA anyhow. He’s too smart to fail the courses but, as twisted as she knows it is, she thinks he’ll get hung up. He’ll need a physical and have to pass psych evaluations. There’s no way they let him through.

“Okay,” she decides, returning back to dinner. It kills her to see him smirk and celebrate while she sits certain that they won’t allow him in. There she plans what she will do to protect him of the recoil. Of what will, undoubtedly, occur. A safety net that he can fall into.

But the call comes and the cake she’d been making-- vanilla with rainbow sprinkles and blueberry pancakes cooling by it’s side-- to console him turns into a celebratory one. He’s done it. Training and evals, passed. Made records won awards. She’s got herself one hell of a federal agent.

Jessica comes down, smiling and with a bag in hand. She hates this development nearly as much as Haley but is much better at hiding it. “Look at you,” Jessica mumbles in amazement. She turns him over, fingers finding his hardened muscles through the sleeves of his sweater. Looking for something, anything to clue her in one what’s happening behind his dark eyes but all she sees is happiness and she can’t help but wonder how long that will last. “You were nothing but a scrawny kid and they’ve turned you into a man and a half.”

There it is, that half-strangled puff of laughter. He smiles, dimples, and chin, and whole face. A man, she is reminded, not that fifteen-year-old prone to drinking in the woods and getting knocked down in the halls. He quit smoking that month and Haley did too. For once, he started taking care of himself. Not as if he never had before but suddenly there were just things he did that he had never before.

He stopped cutting. Which had been harder than losing the cigarettes. She only noticed in passing and could never really pride him on the achievement. Never draw attention to it. But she’d see the scabs healing when he wrapped an arm around her bare hips. Eventually, there were no scabs. Only scars.

“I love you,” she reminds him because she’s not sure if this will last.

And his eyes always twinkle just a little when she says it. Pleasantly surprised each time. “I love you too.”

He gets posted in Seattle and as they’re preparing for the move she watches him closely. As it turns out, she’s the one afraid not him. The world seems to open up, right then, for him and selfishly she thinks about everything she’s just left behind. No, she realizes. It’s not selfish. She worries about him, he worries about her. She’s worried about herself and he worries about himself. It’s a balance and no good things come without a little give.

Seattles is okay.

She tutors a young boy with epilepsy that has fallen behind do to a spout of recent hospitalization. He reminds her so feverishly of Aaron that she naturally takes to him. His name is Sam and his hair is blonde and his eyes the same soft brown as Aaron’s. He’s smart and funny one day and sad and silent the next. The last decade she’s spent living at Aaron’s side has made her ambidextrous to this behaviour and she doesn’t blink.

Aaron spends his days folded into case files, not all that different from when they were in Virginia but he’s lighter. They both are. He doesn’t seem even bothered by the rain. Smiling each time he comes in soaked to the bone to chase her around, shaking the rain from his hair onto her.

One night, she rolls over and attaches herself to his back. She’s antsy and he’s an insomniac so she’s not too surprised when he tangles his fingers with hers over his stomach and hums to answer the question she hasn’t asked yet. Breath ghosting over the back of his neck, she asks, “Do you still want to have kids?”

He chuckles, turning slightly so she can see the silhouette of his nose and lips as he answers her. “Mmm, ten.” Slowly, moving her legs and twisting, he faces her. So that his forehead is against hers and kisses her. “Wanna make one?” he asks teasingly, fingers skimming the skin peaking out from under her shirt. “I hear it’s pretty easy.”

She hits him but deepens the kiss, allowing her hand to slide over his hips and squeeze his butt. It makes her laugh and he just shakes his head. “I want to talk about kids,” she reminds him, breathlessly as his hand snakes up underneath her shirt to cup her bare breast. “Not ten,” she whispers, pulling his head closer as he kisses her neck. “One or two. At least one boy.” He hums and she doesn’t even need to consider if he’s listening or not because he always is. “We could adopt.”

He smiles, placing a hand on both sides of her head, completely overtop her now. She whines a little as he sits up, extracting his body from the tangle of hers. “We could foster even more,” he offers, because he’s thought about it. “Have a few, adopt a few, and be one of those sweet old couples that fosters every kid they can find.”

She squints her eyes at him reaching up and bopping his nose. “You have a savior complex,” she whispers. Which they both know isn’t true. He’s a helper, a watcher. What else would you have him do? He’s never been one to sit by. But she thinks about it. Long after that night and later that night. When she rolled over and he’d fallen asleep in a massive tangle like he always does. This man doesn’t know how to exist without creating a mess. His desk is never neat and he can’t sleep without one half of his body stuck in the sheets.

She considers having a child exactly like him. With his exact brown eyes and those dimples. Adopting one that slowly becomes a part of them. Learning there little habits. A child with hair to dark to be Aarons but too light to be hers that like dancing around the kitchen with her and has that soft, strong way of speaking that Aaron does. Kids. With him.

They aren’t compatible.

She knows she shouldn’t have pushed when the scabs come back. It’s not bad, well… The cuts are small and low in number but she knows they’re there long before she sees them. He starts to sleep in long sleeves again. She sees them when he’s in the shower. Three or four on each arm and he’s been wearing the shirts for a month so it’s not that bad. He’s certain done worse. He’s just got a lot of pressure on him at the moment.

She lets it go.

“I haven’t had my period in a while,” she says over dinner. She told herself to wait for those cuts to heal but they never do.

He chokes on his food. He hasn’t been eating a lot and she thinks he might be smoking again. Which she would point out but she might just be paranoid. Sam got sick last week, had a seizure that she had seen, and she’s a little ashamed to admit she picked it back up to soothe herself. Unsure and unable to tell Aaron about it. How could she? It had nearly scared her from the topic of children, what would it do to him.

“How--” his voice cuts off. He doesn’t mean “how”. He knows exactly how. They talked about children and have been careless. Two scared people hoping that if they pretend to not want this with every burning fiber of their beings they might get it. He can’t remember the last time he used a condom and her birthcontrol has suddenly disappeared from the bathroom sink.

“How long?”

She puts her fork down. “Three months.” They’ve been trying twice that long. “I have a test,” she tells him, trying to hide her excitement. His eyes meet hers and she reads him like her favorite book. “I could take it.” Their lonely kitchen is filled with the sound of scraping chair the two of them fumbling to move.

“Oh.”

It’s negative.

Aaron’s mouth is dry, he doesn’t know why he’s so disappointed.

“We can keep trying,” she soothes, trying not to shake or cry. Even though she wants to throw that stupid test against the wall. Tears fall down her cheek and she looks up to see his own gather.

He shakes his head.

Jessica comes down the next week and pretends not to notice the return of the long sleeves. Aaron greets her with a smile and kisses her cheek. Telling her about everything but that test. The hope so swiftly taken from them. She takes Haley to a clinic. They count her eggs and smile, assuring her that she’s young, healthy, and her eggs are in fantastic shape. She should consider herself lucky, it should be easy for her to have children.

Easy.

Clearly, they have never met her husband.

His sperm count is low. Enough that the doctor’s face falls a little as he explains their options. It’s still possible to do this on their own but they shouldn’t be ashamed if things need a little help.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

But he is ashamed and he counts out each offense on his skin.

Sam, the boy she tutored, dies shortly after they learn all of this. His little body just couldn’t take all the stress.

Haley feels selfish but she’s glad she was no where near him when it happened.

A week later, Aaron comes home, hangs his coat on the rack and sits down on the edge of the couch. “I saw David Rossi today.” His eyes are haunted by the dark circles under them. She notices them but the people in his office never seem to. They comment his quick work and sharp mind which is why Dave had been so quick to accept him. Aaron’s curiosity has always been the brightest burning part of him. “He wants me to move back to Virginia. Take some profiling courses. Join his team.”

Aaron has read everything about the Behavioral Science Unit he can get his hands on. So, by extension, she also knows a lot about them. Every time he finds something worth excitement he finds her to recount each detail. He wants this, she knows.

She’s making muffins, trying to keep her mind off of Sam. When he tells her this, what David Rossi wants from her husband she’s furious. Fuck that man. What do they care about him? They have a life here. But… they really don’t. The lease on their apartment is ending and she keeps trying to decide if she really wants to renew it. Sam is dead. Aaron has a job opportunity.

“Do you want to move back to Virginia?” she turns, to him. Pressing her hips across the oven and watching him.

He looks down at the floor. Does he? He hadn’t really considered that. Does he want to work with David Rossi? Yes, very much so. So, he nods. “I want this,” he says.

She brushes the wet dough on her hands off on the apron on her chest and moves across the kitchen to him. Placing a hand on both sides of his face, she kisses him. “Okay,” she whispers. “Then lets go.”

David immediately loves him.

I work too slowly.

I get too attached.

I’m only good with victims.

I am not a good profiler.

But David sees that spark. The yearning for more, fire hissing and popping and Dave is eager to throw gasoline on him. To see him rise and consume them all. “You’re a bright kid,” Dave commends, one afternoon. They’re having dinner on the way home. Dave has no girlfriend or wife to call so he’s very content to get a little tipsy and let Aaron drive him home. Aaron is wondering what Haley’s doing, Dave thinks this is adorable.

“Um,” Aaron can feel a deflection on his tongue but Dave covers his hand with his own.

With far too much seriousness for a tipsy man he says, “alright. You’re next lesson is acceptance, alright? I give you a compliment and you say--” Aaron just stares back at him. “You say thank you, Dave.”

He nods his head.

Dave blinks. This goddamn kid, he swears. But he’s so enchanting, charming in his youth. Bashful but always looking, watching. Dave wants nothing more than to see him smile even more. To see him grow steady and assured in his abilities. And that it almost taken from him. A sniper in some case that feels more like a movie, something that happens to someone you’re only lightly attached to. That you gasp at but forget about in a day or two. The blood that just sprays, thick and heavy and hot. Dave’s never lost an agent.

He’s lost men but that was war. This isn’t war. It’s just profiling. His people aren’t supposed to die and the kid-- fucking Aaron, his Aaron, almost died.

“You must be David.”

Dave is sleeping in the room when she comes. A thin little thing with straw blonde hair and a very scorned looking face. Aaron has gone on and on about her. She’s beautiful and he can see, immediately, why Aaron’s so drawn to her. As stupid as it is, he smiles when he sees her. So tiny and yet drawn up like she’s ready for a fight.

“That must make you Haley.”

She hums, a habit he finds cute. Humming fits Aaron well. He’s a silent man but not Haley. Aaron had told him they had been together since they were kids, high school sweet hearts. It must be a bit of Aaron’s spite she has drawn up as she walks through the room to stand at her husband’s side. Stoic.

The worst is yet to come.

The shot had been surprisingly clean. Aaron would need a sling and to keep his arm delicately strapped to his chest to allow his shattered clavicle to repair. He wakes two hours later, to the soft hum of Haley and Dave whispering over him. He’s not coherent and he’s in pain and falls right back to sleep the moment Haley takes his hand. A softly sighed “oh” on his lips as his eyes shut and he’s gone again.

Dave doesn’t say anything about the scars. He knows about them. (Do you really think they’d let anybody into the FBI without making notes in files, annotations for men like David Rossi to read and re-read a dozen times as they consider allowing men like Aaron Hotchner onto their teams?)

“Haley?” The second time he’s distraught. Panicking. He remembers the warmth of his bath, the Advil bottle in his palm. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, just as he had when he woke the first time, all those years ago. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.” He remembers thinking how uncomfortable he was in the tub. How he wished he had a pillow or was shorter so at least his knees could sink in. That he could see his clothes plastered to his skin.

He mistakes her momentary confusion as disbelief and he grows agitated. Gasping in pain but twisting and pleading. “I-- I--,” his sentence is cut off by his strangled cry. He moves his hips the wrong way and his shoulder is pressed down into the mattress.

It breaks her heart just as much this time as it had last time. To see his face pinched in pain and confusion. But she is shocked in place.

Dave stands, grabbing Aaron’s unrestrained hand. His hand wrapping completely around until his finger rest against the inside of Aaron’s wrist. His hand engulfing Aaron’s. The scars moving under his touch. “You’re okay,” Dave assures him softly. He smiles, priding Aaron when he manages to whisper Dave’s name in soft shock. He pats Aaron’s cheek, “there he is. My bright boy. How are you? You okay?”

His sense come back to him. The memories slipping into place. “Hurts,” he rasps. Gradually, his body calms and he stops kicking out against nothing. “My arm hurts,” he whispers, his eyes full of tears as he looks between them. Trusting one of them will stop it. One of them will help.

Haley leans down and presses a kiss to his temple, brushing her fingers through his hair. “You’re okay sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. He hums, turning into her touch. She never calls him sweetheart.

She wipes his tears away and Dave says nothing. At that moment, she doesn’t know him to well but eventually, she’ll learn that his silence in that moment was new. Dave never shuts up. She’ll crave that silence in his company. But he’d been thinking, watching and she’d been preoccupied. He was taking in what he was seeing to stored for a later date. Though he had thought for theory not practice. How wrong he, in fact, was.

He retires a year later. Aaron and Haley are just getting the courage to try again for a kid.

When he returns he’s thoroughly surprised to find things haven’t entirely changed. The bits that have changed are encouraging.

“How much do you know?” Morgan asks him one night, a little too tipsy to be having this conversation. But he’s been sitting on it for months and he’s got to know. It’s his job to protect the team and while he and Aaron always seem to butt heads, he won’t leave him out of that equation. “About… About Hotch.”

Not Aaron, anymore. He’s a whole new person. The Unit Chief, strong stoic and up until that moment Dave had even thought hidden. His little secret tucked beneath those multi-layered suits. Evidently not if Morgan knows. “Should we be discussing this?” he asks. It’s an answer within itself. If he knows they shouldn’t be discussing it then he knows about it.

Morgan understand this. He pops a handful of nuts in his mouth, chewing them thoughtfully. “He’s important to us,” Morgan says after a long while.

Dave nods. “He’s important to me too.”

Neither fully explains where they stand. How much any given member of the team knows.

Spencer Reid isn’t stupid and even if he were, he’s not oblivious. He’s never seen the scars on the inside of his superior’s wrist. Never seen any of the scars for that matter. There’s still something about Hotch, nameless and without a good proper name, that Spencer cues in on. Self-destructive with control issues. They never talk about it. It’s safer that way.

It hurts Penelope to think about for too long. She’s seen the scars but she’d known what to look for and she’d looked. Even though she knew what she would find and knew it would hurt. Though she was never made to be the silent observing type, she doesn’t mention them. But sometimes she places little goodies in his go bag so that when he finds them he’s forced to be reminded that he’s loved.

JJ knows the signs now. She was too slow the first time. Now she wears that burden around her neck each day. There’s something so raw about Aaron Hotchner but she doesn’t think he’s suicidal, not anymore at least. Maybe in another life, at a different time. Today, tomorrow, yesterday… he’s okay. But she’ll keep vigil. She watches.

Though Emily hates his guts when she first arrived, she’s found herself close to his side over the course of the last few months. Enough to know more about him than the others. Maybe not because he tells her but because she’s simply there and it’s hard to hide things once you allow someone else that close.

The divorce doesn’t come by too big of a surprise.

Neither does Haley’s reaction.

“I need to ask you to do something for me,” Haley whispers.

JJ is rocking Henry when Will comes in with the phone and she’s honestly surprised it’s taken Haley this long to get around to her. “Haley,” she responds, wondering if Haley is out there someplace rocking Jack. “You know you don’t have to ask.” JJ and Haley had gotten along great when JJ first joined. JJ was the only girl on the team and Haley knows how Hotch can be.

“He doesn’t mean it, honest.” Haley had defended. Referencing Hotch’s more elusive if not silent nature.

JJ had brushed it off, “oh no. He’s a sweetheart.” And was and still is. He very well was probably the only person who didn’t give her a hard time.

“I know Aaron isn’t taking… all of this well.” That is an understatement. He’s not doing anything drastic but starving away in his office running on caffeine and random sandwiches one of them forces him to eat isn’t thriving. “Can you just look after him? I would-- you know I would but we can’t do this--this balance if I am always there to catch him. That doesn’t change anything.”

JJ closes her eyes, leaning her face down to Henry. Allowing the soft scent of baby and lotion to soothe the anger and pain she feels swelling up. “You know I will,” she promises. “He’ll be okay, Haley. We��ll get him through this.” The call ends shortly after that. Haley asks about Henry and JJ about Jack. And the two part. It’s better that way.

The divorce is the easy part.

Foyet attacks and nine new scars find their way on his body and suddenly they all know that those aren’t the ones they need to worry about.

“Emily, Em--Emily.” She’s sleeping in his guest room, curled under the warm sheets. A cat, he thinks dizzily, as she stretches and hums sleepy at him. Arching her back and stretching her back and arms out like he’s seen plenty of street cats do. The kind that aren’t bothered when you come marching through their alley.

She winces at the light but finds him. The apprehension on his pained face and the dark, wet rag he’s holding with his left hand over his right.

“I-- There was-- It was an accident,” he stumbles.

The wet rag she realizes is soaked in his blood. Crimson. She wakes quickly, suddenly cold. Throwing the blankets off her legs. He just stands in the doorway, leaning heavily to the side. “What did you do?” she demands, afraid to look and see. Afraid to see. She covers his hand with hers, pressing against the wound. Her mind turns this over slowly. His blood dropping in fat drops by their feet. “You have to go to the hospital.”

His eyes flash with something but she knows it’s not remorse for what he’s done. “It was on accident,” he rasps. “I’m sorry.”

She knows. “To the hospital,” she instructs, guiding him through the dark hall. He’s dazed, clearly confused. It takes her a moment to wrap his coat around his shoulder. “Hold it,” she mumbles, wrapping his fingers back around his wrist. Then she’s shoving her own feet into shoes not thinking twice about the fact that they’re both in pajamas and she in shorts. “Aaron,” she stands back up and he’s loosened his hold. The way she says his name shocks him. “Put fucking pressure on it.”

She steers him to the car, guiding him by his hips. By the time she moves to the driver’s seat he’s pressed his head to the door’s cold window, turned a nasty grey color. “Aaron,” she shakes him roughly. Paying no mind to the wounds on his chest that haven’t healed. “Stay awake.” She’s not going to loose him like this. She hits him several more times, it’s one jarring him back to life. She knows she’s hit a few bruises and not healed places on his body but he’s slipping and he’s not going to die in her passenger seat.

“You’re a goddamn idiot.” she seethes. They’re outside the emergency room. She’s pulling his thin grasshopper like legs out of the car, grunting when the rest of him comes with them. His head finds her shoulder and she stops, holding him there for just a second as they both collect themselves. “Are you okay?” she asks softly. The first truly kind thing she’s had to say all night. He nods. “Okay,” she pats his back. “Come on, jackass, we’ve got plenty more fighting to do.”

They won’t let her back with him which she almost hopes causes a scene. But Hotch goes listlessly into the wheelchair and silently allows them to take him away. He doesn’t fight. Which is worse than if he’d begged them to let her come. But he goes, his bloody rag in his lap. Head tilted resting against his chest.

She calls Morgan first. He tells her not to call anyone else. It’s two in the morning and they need the sleep. He’ll be there in twenty minutes. He’s there in ten and when he sees her sitting there he doesn’t say a word, just wraps his coat around her bare arms. They sit, shoulder-to-shoulder, neither saying anything for a long time.

Eventually, he can’t stand the silence. “Did he do it on purpose?” Morgan asks.

She shrugs. She doesn’t know. “He said he was sorry.” The raspy quality of her own voice surprises her. Looking down at her hands, she scratches at her nails. Frowning at the blood she pulls up. They all do things they shouldn’t. He just… It wasn’t on purpose. It wouldn’t… He wouldn’t…

“Emily Prentiss?”

She looks up, surprised to find a nurse standing there. How long have they been sitting here? Not saying a thing. Just thinking. Assuming the worst. “Yes?” She stands, suddenly too aware of how silly she must look. Her night shirt covered in blood and in shorts that show all of her legs and-- only after looking down-- does she realize she’s wearing a pair of Hotch’s shoes.

“Mr. Hotchner is very dehydrated. We’re going to keep him here for the night. You can come back, if you’d like. He asked for you.”

She glances back at Morgan and then at the nurse. “I want to but,” she motions to Morgan, “can we both go?” She can see the hesitation wash over the nurse. “You can ask Hotch-- Agent Hotchner. His name is Derek, Hotch won’t mind.”

The nurse caves with a nod and motions for them to follow her.

He’s in a section marked off by curtain. Asleep with his heavily bandaged hand curled on his chest and the other by his side. They’ve bandaged both, the left with a few bandages versus the heavy gauze of the right. He sleeps but it’s not deep no more than the shallow naps he’s been getting lately.

Emily moves to his left side and waits for the nightmare she know will grip him.

“He didn’t… He wasn’t trying to, was he?”

Emily rubs her thumb his knuckles. “Morgan?” If he was, would he have come to get her? Would he have covered the wound himself, first? Trying to stop the blood on his own? Morgan looks up. “You can’t talk about it. Promise me, you won’t ask him about it.” That would kill him.

Morgan stands in the corner, arms crossed on his chest. “Will you talk to him about it?”

She doesn’t want to. “Yes.” But someone has to.

“If he does it again--”

Emily cuts him off with a scowl. “He won’t.”

Morgan breaks a little, sadden by how vehemently she believes this. “Okay,” he caves. “Okay.”

He does.

#tw mental health #tw food #tw self destructive behavior #tw hospital #tw suicide #tw suicide attempt #tw cutting #tw abuse #jessica brooks #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #haley hotchner #david rossi #spencer reid #derek morgan #jennifer jareua #penelope garcia #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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“Didn’t Need Burrow” Masterpost (February)

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: Finally, it will be revealed that Adrien is the main character and that Marinette was merely the narrator of his story (or history of their love).

The thing that we already know and won’t be a surprise.

Adrien didn’t have enough attention already but they were tired of using Marinette as their camera to his story.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t need burrow: Kagami wil decide to stay in Japan at the end of the Tokyo special. Prompting Chat Noir to start pursuing Ladybug again.

I doubt they’d make the specials official canon but I also don’t doubt Kagami getting sidelined so easily.

Anonymous said:

Alternative didn’t need burrow: Kagami won’t even be in the Japan special and all cultural knowledge will be explained by Adrien

Oh my gooooood.

*flashes back to Adrien and Gabriel greeting Kagami and Tomoe in Japanese*

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: It will be revealed that Chloe is actually an innocent and naive little girl who acted like a malicious bully because she was manipulated and intimidated by Sabrina all the time. And it was Sabrina who made her bully the rest of the class and act as if everything had to revolve around her. And it will be retcon that Chloe did not abuse everyone to impress Audrey, but because Sabrina made her do it. (Note: I'm Anon that joked about Sabrina being more dangerous than Chloe)

fdjkhgjdfgfd welcome back, for sure.

I wasn’t ready for the Sabrina part since I was taking it 100% seriously up until then.

In before they say that Sabrina is just indulging Chloe and Chloe is how she is because Sabrina won’t do anything about it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that if there is finally a white little kid gets introduced to the show, he or she(though let's be honest, most often a he) will be a sweet little angel of sunshine who's always on their best behavior and never does anything wrong, unlike all those rowdy black children(barf). Bonus if the kid has blonde hair and blue/green/grey eyes. Double bonus if someone(say, Marinette or Nadja) says to one of the other kids "See, why can't you behave like they do?" Rolling my eyes.

OMG SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT. BLESS YOU.

I always feel so awkward hating on all the kid characters for that reason but it really does come down to they’re kids and I don’t like kids. Most of them are just written as “kid” and nothing else.

Friendly piece of advice to people writing children and are afraid of doing what this show does where the personality is just “stereotypical child”...

Write characters as if they’re teenagers first, and then “age them down.” It’s the difference between writing Mylene (for example) with the personality of “child,” and writing Mylene as a younger version of herself.

It also will make it less jarring if the character happens to grow up and become a teen at some point in the story, where their personality is better established; they’ll come off as a developed person rather than someone with a completely different personality from when they were little.

(If you’re having trouble imagining said child character as a teenager/adult, there’s definitely a step missing.)

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow to know that when all the kids in Marinette and Adrien's class inevitably get Miraculouses of their own, only the girls will get theirs taken from them for one reason or another, either because someone else figured out their identity or they do something stupid and risk people knowing(or people actually do know), while the boys get to keep theirs permanently and Ladybug becomes the token Smurfette on her superhero team. Rena Rouge might be the exception to this.

G I R L P O W E R

+ I mean, for Rena, Marinette’s already regretted giving her the miraculous at least once, so yeah.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow to know that when Marinette and Adrien inevitably discover each others' identities, defeat Hawk Moth and Mayura(the only good thing about this whole scenario), and gEt ToGeThEr, it(the latter, at least) will only be in the last episode of the last season, and we will get no time to see their development from "who dis?" to friends, to lovers. Love=ma^2 shippers will punch the nearest wall, while me and everyone else will sip our salty tea and ask what the fuck they expected.

If Season 4 decides the split between Lukanette and Adrimi, that means Season 5 is just going to be a love square shipping fuel fest of absolute and complete obnoxiousness with angst that’ll lead to reverse love square at best and then nothing more.

The tea will, however, be delicious.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow to know that Adrien will continue to steadfastly insist that Marinette is "just a friend"(such as saying so when Alya or Nino confronts him on it, or saying romantic sounding things to Marinette herself that are just intended as shipper-fanservice-bait, before adding something anticlimatic like "you're a really good FRIEND")...up until the moment when the plot decides to push them together and he'll magically change his tune and say that she was always more than just a friend.

How convenient~

Yeah, the plot has this habit of just changing things so immediately that it gives you whiplash, because they’ve never built anything up. I remember that it did that for me with the Miracle Box opening in “Sapotis” to reveal all the zodiacs.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that Alya(and possibly the rest of the girl squad, but lets face it, most likely Alya so that she can be the Black Best Friend) will be used solely as a plot device to get Adrien and Marinette together(against Marinette's protests, if I may add), and Marinette will get almost no chances to make a move on Adrien on her own. I know you salt on Alya a lot but you gotta admit it kinda feels bad to potentially have her pushed aside to only support the love square.

No no, I totally agree! I don’t like Alya but I obviously feel bad that her and Nino have just become love square/plot pushers. Add in Rena Rouge and eugh, no thanks.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow to know when Marinette finally tells Adrien she’s in love with him, he’ll reject her, and when Marinette gets over him and gets together with Luka, then he’ll probably get akumatised because of it, and it’s all Marinettes fault for getting over him(EVEN THO HE MADE IT CLEAR HE WASNT INTERESTED!!!) and entering a healthy relationship.

This one sent me through a whirlwind of emotions.

Also, inevitable "only notice the girl who’s wanted you forever because now she has a boyfriend,” because yay.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: Ms Bustiers pregnancy is going to be handled one of two ways, but they'll both lead to the same outcome: either

1) her pregnancy will be ignored and she'll look the same as she always has until the one episode where it's plot relevant, and she'll suddenly look nine months pregnant, or

2) she'll go from looking the way she does in the New York Special to looking nine months pregnant in the first episode of S4, possibly with the addition of cringy pregnancy jokes peppered in throughout the season until the episode where her being pregnant is plot relevant.

The inevitable outcome of this whole 'pregnant teacher' subplot will be an episode where Ms Bustier goes into labor during an Akuma attack that she (and possibly the entire class) are caught in the middle of for whatever reason, she'll give birth either during or right after said Akuma attack. LB will have to juggle both fighting the Akuma and delivering the baby, Chat will be useless during the pregnancy subplot (50/50 that he won't be much help during the Akuma attack), and there will be a moment where the two heroes are both cooing over the baby, and someone will make a remark about how they'll be such good parents one day.

I know this is probably too specific to actually pan out, but I'm confident that at least part of this will line up with what happens in the show

dfkhgjdfkgdfg oh my god, Ladybug helping deliver a baby, please kill me.

The “good parents” line absolutely made me cringe because they’d totally do that.

The thing about how Bustier will look is also 150% accurate and it pains me to say so. Her looking pregnant is the most “fleshing out” that we’ll ever get from her.

I could also see her getting a substitute instead (I originally was going to shorten it to “sub” but then I just imagined Miss Bustier eating a sub sandwich) and then coming back at some point like “oh I already had the baby, here he/she is,” and that’s how they avoid making a model for her being pregnant.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow: A character will have a bad day and get increasingly mad whenever things continue to go bad for them/when other people annoy them, but he or she will still manage to keep it cool. Only when MARINETTE does something wrong will that person finally SNAP and get akumatized, and of course, Marinette will be blamed for it despite everything already going bad for the character to begin with. It's like the writers try so hard to make things her fault when she's barely a part of it.

oh my god

This is also totally Santa Claws/Bother Christmas but with Marinette instead of Ladybug. Gotta get both sides in there, you know?

#Didn't Need Burrow

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dannyphantom-rewrite · 3 years

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Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,

Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom

Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types

I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.

Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with

Maddie Fenton

-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)

-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.

-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.

-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.

-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.

-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)

Jack Fenton

-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married)

-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse.

-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS

-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....

-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.

-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.

-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.

-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.

-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.

-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.

-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.

-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.

-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.

-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.

-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.

-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.

Jasmine Fenton

-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.

-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.

-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.

-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""

- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.

-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.

-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.

-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.

-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.

-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.

-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.

-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)

-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.

I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.

#danny phantom #art #danny fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #ref

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sepublic · 4 years

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Dana Terrace AMA (Part 2)

Lilith dyed her hair to appear more intimidating! I won’t deny her curly hair definitely is very friend-shaped, so I can see why! This does give me hope that now that Lilith is no longer in the EC, we’ll get to see her hair become frizzy again… Given how Dana went out of her way to make a contrast between the wilder appearance of younger Lilith, VS present-day, and I think it’s something she’ll return to now that Lilith is a Wild Witch like her sister!

As suspected, Lilith and Amity are rather cold and distant… Which makes sense, they parallel Luz and Eda, but they also contrast the pair! Especially when you look at their personalities, I can’t say I’m shocked… ESPECIALLY after Amity telling Lilith to ‘shut up’, and Dana confirming that Amity lost a LOT of respect for her teacher after Covention! Which makes me more scared that Lilith didn’t do anything to vouch for Amity to the Blight Parents, so YIKES… You’ve got a lot of explaining to do Lily, and I hope you and Amity can properly connect and heal in Season 2! Especially now that you’re on your way to becoming a decent role model for REAL this time!

We know that Camila (which is how Dana spells it which when combined with Enchanting Grom Fright’s credits, leads me to consider this THE official spelling) will sometimes buy Luz manga novels of her favorite series, but usually only on holidays or because of a good report card! Awww, why can’t you let Luz enjoy herself more? Like I get that you’re probably struggling a bit financially is a single, working-class mother and also have incentive of wanting Luz to not be ‘distracted’, but this hits close to home given how it reminds me of somebody else I know with ADHD…!

(Also, Luz would trace Hiromu Arakawa manga, which means that Dana has likely seen Fullmetal Alchemist, which means it’s very possible that Belos and his castle took cues from Father and that is a VERY validating revelation for me! They really do have that killer aesthetic, man…!)

Amity’s hair IS dyed and naturally brown, like her father’s… Which confirms more or less that those kids in YBOS are the Blight Parents, and also confirms Amity as a full-blooded Blight! Not to say I was right, but I was right… Mrs. Blight had Amity dye her hair green like hers to be color-coded, which is sickening as-is. Like, are Emira and Edric dressed similarly because their mother encouraged it? That’s a scary thought…

Regardless, if Amity DID rebel a little by choosing a more Azura shade, it seems Mrs. Blight doesn’t really notice or think much of it, because we know this lady will go far when it comes to getting what she wants and if she feels her kids are disobeying her! This also adds more credence to my belief of Mrs. Blight having been the one born into the family, while her husband married in as an outsider… It makes sense she’d have this kind of control in the family, more prominence given to her VA, and the ability to control their children on a visual level, especially if Green Hair is a Blight signature! I have to wonder what Mr. Blight thinks of this… Goodness, can you imagine if his wife made him dye his hair green, too?!

Dana alluded to the Blight Parents having more depth than we might suspect, which… YES, but also she says that Mr. Blight was fun and ‘interesting’ for her? I’ve speculated in the past that he seems a bit more chill and apathetic compared to his wife from the childhood flashback, and based on what we’ve seen from Understanding Willow…

I have to wonder if maybe Mr. Blight is someone who was caught underneath his partner’s abuse as well? Maybe Mrs. Blight also began controlling him, and he sort of just learned to go along with it and accept this…! I wonder if he also has ideas about needing to live up to the Blight family name, as an outsider and as his wife’s husband… And how that might be reflected in him repeating that ‘Blights only associate with the strongest of witches’ to Amity, like he speaks from experience! It’s conceited he calls himself strong in this sentence, but at the same time…

Given the implication that Mrs. Blight holds more power and was able to prioritize her looks in their children over her husband’s… I have to wonder if Mr. Blight is just someone who’s also resigned to her abuse, as a person fully-indoctrinated into her beliefs of superiority and having to set an example that pleases her! He gives me vibes as more straight-forward, like an enforcer while his wife has that more manipulative, mastermind vibes to her… Goodness, are we going to have to rescue Mr. Blight from his wife too?!

There is neither an end nor a beginning, there is just HOOTY… Nobody knows if he’s made of wood or flesh (which implies Eda didn’t make Hooty, just ‘taught him’, and not much), his true nature is deeply upsetting and a major spoiler, AND he apparently has an evil twin named Booty!

Amity is a jock! This is no shock, but Dana also alluded to her being ‘punk’ to impress others but not being comfortable, and… This GIRL, let her know she’s loved for who she is!

Dana confirmed that Bump’s imp on his head is named Frewin, and that he has a purpose…??? Maybe he’s a seeing-eye demon in the literal sense, or covers an exposed brain…?!?? I don’t know. We’ll just have to see, but for now it at least indicates that Bump IS the dude (as implied by Dana’s past art) and we’ll learn more about him, so neat! Bump is a cool and underrated character in my opinion, and I look forward to more of Frewin!

Witch Gems! Dana confirmed that they’re just a fashion thing like necklaces, and that Eda’s wasn’t originally meant to indicate anything… But then Dana realized it was a good visual indicator of her curse and went from there! It seems ‘Hearts of Stone’ is just metaphorical… I have to wonder if in-universe, Eda’s gem functions like a mood ring in that it’s a handy visual indicator of how bad her curse is getting! That alone furthers the disability metaphor, which I REALLY like!

(I have to wonder why we haven’t seen any male witches with chest-gems, is this one of the few gendered things that the Boiling Isles has? Give Edric a chest-gem, I know he’d wear a dress and rock it! Do the same for Jerbo, too!)

Dana also said that should Season 3 be approved (they’re still writing the end of Season 2 people!), we might get a birthday for a cast member! So… SHOW YOUR SUPPORT, give live ratings to this show people c’mon!

Luz is Amity’s first big crush, to nobody’s surprise… You can tell from the way she acts around Luz that this is somebody who’s shown her more unconditional love and patience for who she is than anybody else in her entire existence, that it’s an almost alien feeling to Amity… and while it’s sad she’s never had someone so accepting of her in her life before, it’s also heartwarming to see Luz provide so readily and unconditionally! No wonder Amity is smitten…

#the owl house #owl house #dana terrace #reddit ama #the owl house amity #amity blight #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house frewin #principal bump #lumity

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ozzdog12 · 3 years

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2020 Top 7 (and 1)

2020 am I right? We saw an insane amount of games come out and 2 brand new consoles. What a wild and weird year for gaming, and life in general. In case you are relatively new here, and to be honest that would be completely fair considering I don't post very often on Tumblr anymore, every year going on the last 4 years (on here) I have done a Top 7 (& 1) for my favorite videogames of the year. Check out 2019, 2018, & 2017. What’s wild, as I look back on my list of games that I’ve completed and played, only maybe 10 came out this year. 2020 was a huge backlog year.

Lets get on with the ‘And 1!”

Favorite Game that Didn’t Come out in 2020: Control (PS4)

Control may very well have been my 2019 Game of the Year, had I played it in 2019. I LOVED Control. I wanted to play it in 2019, but initial reports that it was a little rough on base consoles put me off until it was fixed. And Holy smokes what an insanely fun and trippy game once I finally started it. I knew within the first 20 minutes this was going to be the shit when I went down a hall, walked into a room and talked to the “janitor” left out a door behind him and the entire building had shifted. I’ve always liked Remedy games, but from a distance. Max Payne 1&2 and Alan Wake all oozed with weirdness and intrigue, but never enough for me to finish them. I missed out on Quantum Break. The story is Control is just the right amount of mind f*!$ for me and builds a universe I didn’t know I needed. It take some time to piece everything together, then everything just clicks. The game does have a weird difficulty spike when fighting bosses and the checkpoints were too far apart at times, but those were later patched. I spent an insane amount of time within the Federal Bureau of Control building and even more time after that with the Foundation and AWE DLC and it STILL wasn’t enough. I wanted more. Outside of Prey, I can’t think of another game that stuck in my brain more after I’d finished it. Control is absolutely a MUST PLAY title. In a world where everything sort’ve feels similar, Control stands out of the crowd.

Number 7: Astro’s Playroom (PS5)

I never thought in my wildest dreams that a game I had almost zero interest in playing would end up on my list of favorite games this year. Astro’s Playroom is being labeled as a ‘Tech demo’ but that feels like an insult to what it is. It’s a full fledged game and its free! I’ve paid more for less. A charming little platformer that lives and breathes the history of the Playstation. So many cool Easter eggs and references. It certainly centers its gameplay around the DualSense controller and everything it can do, but at its core, its a completely approachable and forgiving 3D platformer. I played it just to see what it was about, next thing i knew I had completed all the levels and wanted to further explore all the nooks and crannies within the game. I wanted to see everything the game had to offer and I had an absolute blast doing so. Makes me kinda wish I’d played the previous game on PSVR (I’d have to have a PSVR too)

Number 6: Spider-Man: Miles Morales (PS5)

Another quality title, albeit a spin-off, from Insomniac to add to their Spider Man universe. Gameplay felt obviously like Spider-Man, but Miles has unique abilities that made the game feel different enough, especially the cloak and stealth. I enjoyed the fact that it was short and concise. The issue with most ‘open-world’ games is that they are entirely too bloated with unnecessary filler content (I’ll get to that in a later game), something I felt the first game suffered from, but I also understand why they are there. However I could’ve use one or two more story missions to help flesh out some characters, but it wasn’t required and didn’t change my opinion one way or the other. My one BIG gripe was with Miles himself. He is an extremely smart young kid, but so incredibly naïve. Peter Parker tells him the one thing he SHOULD NOT do is tell people he is Spider-Man. I get it, that’s part of his growth, but Miles thinks he can just solve his problems by revealing his identity and it almost certainly never works out.

Number 5: The Last of Us: Part 2 (PS4)

The Last of Us Part 2 may be the most polarizing game in the history of the medium, but for the absolute wrong reasons. I’m in the minority that I very much enjoyed my experience with TLOU2, quite a bit actually. Its better in every single way over its predecessor, except the overall story. There are plenty of fair criticisms to be had about the story and various things within the game itself, but I thought the gameplay was so tight and crunchy. There were genuine moments of suspense and terror that I felt that no other game has ever given me. The entire hospital section (2nd time) was so susensful, I had to put my controller down to gther myself. Some of my favorite moments in the series I experienced with a character I wasn’t overly fond of. How many games can do that? The Last of Us Part 2 was meant to invoke emotion, not necessarily joy. I think that's what people lost along the way. Say what you will about the direction Naughty Dog has taken over the years, but you would be hard pressed to find a studio that makes games graphically better than they do. Yes, I know about their crunch culture, but this is not a place for that. I will say, the game was a tad bit too long, which is not something it typically say for a single player, narrative driven game. The pacing and the way the story was told wasn’t my favorite, but I respect what it was trying to do, even if it failed in some aspect of that, I finished the game within the week it was released. Something I RARELY ever do. I’m a father and I related with Joel a lot in TLOU, but I also recognized how wrong he was. There is a lesson to be learned. Your actions always have consequences and while he was doing what he thought was the right thing, it wasn’t his choice to make, and in doing so set up a series of events that were entirely avoidable, but again, that’s the point isn’t it?

Number 4: Grindstone (Switch)

I’m counting this as a 2020 game since it just came to the Switch this year ( less than a month ago) but its not the first time I’ve played it. Grindstone was the only reason I kept my Apple Arcade subscription and when I let it lapse, there was a void I just couldn’t fill. I bought Puzzle Quest on Switch but it just wasn't the same. Its THE perfect game for bite sized play, even though in its addictive nature, you’ll clear a few levels and an hour has passed before you know it. It has the perfect amount of depth that most ‘match’ games don't. You have different weapons, items, and outfits w/perks to use and experiment with to keep it fresh. I went months without playing my Switch and when this was announced in August, I couldn’t wait! Sadly, I had to wait 3 months, but since then I have spent so much time on the Switch. It gave me a reason to play it again. The art style and humour is great. The variety of enemies and challenge is just right. I can’t recommend it enough. Seriously, check this game out!

Number 3: Doom Eternal (Xbox One)

I will be the first to tell you, I did not like Doom (2016). I found it extremely boring and trite. I understood what Doom(2016) was doing and it succeeded, maybe too much. Nostalgia is a helluva thing. So in saying that, I was mildly interested in Doom Eternal. Doom Eternal is nothing like 2016 outside of it being a Doom game that connects to the rest of them (& also being a sequel to 2016). The mechanics are drastically different with more platforming (for better or worse). Eternal is challenging, at times very hard, especially early on. Eternal has no respect for its players, in a weirdly good way. It laughs at how you’ve played FPS before this one and WILL MAKE you play it its way, not your way. Yes, you point and shoot, but ammo is scare and you MUST use everything in your arsenal. No more using just 2 guns for the whole game. The enemies are relentless. Sometimes you have to pause and take a breath after a battle because you go a 100 mph for the whole fight. You have to continuously move or you die. There is an enticing rhythm to it. I categorize Eternal as ‘Blood Ballet’. Its a game where when your feeling it, much like a rhythm game, you get in the zone and there is no stopping demons from getting slayed. Surprisingly, unlike most games in the genre, it seemed to get easier (sans one extremely frustrating platforming section late in the game) the longer you played it. Was that a testament that I ‘learned’ the Eternal way or it truly did get easier? I don’t know, but the final Boss(es) were....easy.. I had more problems and deaths within the first 4 hours than I did the final 8-9 hours. The multiplayer was also surprisingly fun. The older I get, the less interested I am in multiplayer, but I found myself coming back for more for a good month or so.

Number 2: Gears Tactics (Xbox One)

As 2020 comes to a close, I came to a stunning realization. I might be a bigger Gears of War fan than I had previously thought. Don’t get me wrong. I love Gears, but I seem to love Gears more than I thought. I'm way more invested into the lore than I recall. Anyways, Gears Tactics is everything XCOM 2 SHOULD’VE been. Not only does Gears Tactics utilize the Overwatch action, its makes it EXTREMELY important. The story revolves around the father of Kait Diaz, Gabe and a ragtag group of mostly random soldiers to take down Ukkon. Anyone who is remotely interested in the Gears universe will love the story and references. The gameplay is just so damn satisfying. The bosses are very challenging and different. I actually had to change my strategy to finish the final boss. I experimented with a totally different style of class and was rewarded for it. The post game stuff is also aplenty. This game scratched a VERY specific itch for me and I’m itchy to jump back in. I’m glad this came to Xbox One because I’m current computer could not run it.

Number 1: Ghost of Tsushima (PS4)

I have a very odd relationship with massive open world games. I love them, but I get very burnt out on them. They all have a relatively same-y formula and are often populated with bloat. GoT does have some of that but to its advantage, its not very populated, in a good way. One of the things that I really appreciated about GoT and its side quest is most of them felt meaningful. The thing that really stood out to me about GoT is the absolutely satisfying combat. It just feels SO GOOD. It requires timing and patience. There are different fighting styles for different enemies and even the armor you wear is more than just cosmetic. The combat is so fun and satisfying that I was immediately excited when they announced Legends, a multiplayer add on, for free. Its so much fun and is a blast to play with a group of friends. I’m sporadically still playing the Legends mode. I initially wanted to play the game in ‘Kurosawa’ mode but I am glad I didn’t because the game, even on the PS4 is stunning, and on the upgrade on PS5 is jaw-droppingly smooth. I did play the entire game in Japanese with English subtitles. I still don't know what Jin’s English voice sounds like. GoT does a good job a drip feeding you new abilities and things to keep things fresh. I love stealth and once I unlocked it, I spent the majority of every battle taking out as many enemies as I could while in stealth mode. Ghost of Tsushima does a lot of things very well, that the few things it doesn’t can be easily overlooked.

#videogames #control #grindstone #tlou #doom eternal #gears tactics #ghost of tsushima #ps4 #ps5 #xbox one #switch #nintendo switch #playstation4 #GOTY #spiderman #astro playroom

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