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#so maybe podcast format it will be
brainrotdotorg · 1 year
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and I’m your fuckin sweet baby detective, Cuno de Ruyter
(They take your mysteries and turn them alchemy-like into solved cases)
HELP???? DISCO ELYSIUM MBMBAM AU??? SCREAMING????? literally combing my brain for as many applicable MBMBAM bits as i possibly can okay
"I am your lieutenant, Kim Kitsuragi." "I'm your lieutenant double-yfreitor, Harry Du Bois!" "And I'm your fuckin sweet baby detective, Cuno de Ryuter"
cuno advocating for shoplifting and kim trying to gently be like. we cant advocate for that. and harry being like no no hes got a point. cuno does read (hjemdallerman mostly) but the idea of him bringing up the elysium equivalent of warrior cat names to absolutely confuse and baffle kim and harry. all of them saying weird shit about horses. HARRY DOING A SAD LIBS... thinking about any of them doing the "unless..." bit is bringing me absurd amounts of joy.
(thinking about the 'resume of the future' with cuno. young dumb and full of RAGE. eight foot vertical leap. thanks for reading pigs, fuck you)
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character development for me is the fact that i used to hate hearing my audios cause i despised my voice and now i can actually listen to them no problem.
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limewatt · 11 months
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I read the northern caves cause someone in the tags of the post about an unauthorized fan treatise said it was somewhat similar and Man. Gonna be thinking about that for a while
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literally cant even be a fan of taylor again until hits different is streaming……..
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jack-daww · 11 months
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My list of things that still need to be done for the podcast:
Finish writing what happens each episode
Actually write the episodes
Get someone to proof-read
Rewrite the episodes if necessary 
Set up recording software
Do test recording
Set up editing software
Figure out how to edit
Figure out where to find useable sounds
Figure out background noise for each episode
Make intro and outro
Find someone to proof-listen episodes (someone else than proof-reader)
Figure out where to publish podcast
Figure out how to publish podcast
Talk to someone about taxes
Figure out if and how earning money is possible
Prepare and handle social media for podcast
Prepare Kofi or Patreon
Record and publish first episode
Keep up weekly or monthly upload schedule
Take care of social media page
I have people that can help me with steps 3, 5, 7, 8, 12, 18
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jyoongim · 3 months
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Themes: posessiveness, slight yandere behavior, mentions of cannibalism, softcore smut,
After 7 years the Radio Demon is back!
But things arent how he left them…
Vox has taken it upon himself to be in charge of all things media
Radio has turned to Video
And Alastor’s little darling aint in her place…oh that just wont do
Your relationship with the Radio Demon was like a match made in Hell.
Alastor was a wild card by himself alone, but you? You never failed to keep him on his hooves?
You had been in the media world looong before Alastor popped up in Hell, having the title (ironic) Media Demon but somehow he managed to bring back the old themes that were once appreciated.
Not those podcasts or vlogs the youth were so prone to do
But things from the good old days.
Things that were considered ancient in the sense of modern tech.
Radio; Talk shows and actual live broadcasts.
Alastor and you quickly rose in popularity in the media realm [(you had a sneaky suspicion it was because he was terrifying and people honesty clung to an overlord’s word)]
You and Alastor had separate broadcasts, but you worked perfectly in sync with one another. Until one day…the Radio Demon disappeared, leaving you to run your show alone.
You did what you could, but the people seemed to miss the charismatic broadcaster as much as you and soon you were approached by Video.
“C’mon y/n, This will be a great improvement to your brand.” Vox smirked as you sipped the tea you were offered. You frowned. You were aware that media came in all formats but you enjoyed the ‘old’ way. “I dont know Vox, i prefer to be out of the camera’s eye” you said. Vox had been begging for years for you to join his team and claiming it would ‘boost’ your reputation. You didnt need a boost. You were THE Media Demon. If anything, you knew it would boost HIS popularity.
“Radio is so old-fashion, video is the future! You should be up to date with these things” he said. You grimaced “i am well aware of the trends, but not everyone likes this new savvy way, it is good to have a little variety”
Vox was getting annoyed.
Having you on the Vees would not only boost his claim to fame, but it would boost his power.
“The people would love to see the Media Demon in the public eye. You use to sing right? How about music production? You would kill sales with that voice of yours”
He was trying to butter you up.
Everyone knew you were a renown singer. A popstar once. You only showcased it a few times broadcasting when it was late at night and were in a mood.
Alastor loved to hear you sing.
“If you made videos people, your image can skyrocket” he continued.
You set your cup down, standing, having heard enough.
“I appreciate the offer Vox, but I will decline. I quite like stereo” and with that you left.
You made your way to the Hazbin Hotel.
To Alastor’s radio tower.
You sighed as you sat and stared at the station.
Maybe i should take Vox’s offer you thought as you collected your topics and put your headphones on.
You turned on the radio and did a count set
“How ya doin tonight folks? Its your favorite radio host and tonight you are in for a treat!” you gave the daily Hell gossip and opened the line for discussions. Letting out a laugh from a few of the responses you finally sighed “I have been offered the damning chance to retire from radio” you started. “I am sure you are all aware that I am fabulous of course, but i mean reverting to video can you imagine? And the audacity of Vox to even suggest just a thing. I think i do quite alright for a media connoisseur” you giggled.
As you chatted away you were unaware of the dark presence manifesting in the tower.
“Dial in im opening the lines to hear your opinions”
You listened in
“I think it could be good to switch it up!”
“Youre the Media Demon you could crush anything!”
“Y/n youre incredible!”
“Video kills the Radio star!”
You were about to chime in when a deep static like voice sounded
“I think you mean Radio killed the Video star”
Your eyes widened and spun around to see Alastor
“A-Alastor?”
His devilish smile sharpened as he pressed a button to cut the lines and removed your headphones “its been a while darling”
You couldnt help yourself as you launched at him for a hug.
You quickly recovered and let him go, stuttering “oh oh im sorry but w-what are you doing here? I-i thought you were gone”
Alastor grinned, bringing your hand up to his lips to press a kiss to it
“Ooooh mon cher i could never stay away from you”
You blushed.
Alastor pulled you into an embrace, his grip a little tight
“So what it is i hear of you forsaking radio?”
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nutritousmaltdrink · 2 years
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intense need to see nope vs. the last time i watched horror i couldn't relax for three weeks
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quinton-reviews · 3 months
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Hi Quinton!! I have been a HUGE fan of your stuff since a friend sent me the Tobuscus Fallen Titans (I used to watch him back in high school and was like "huh, wonder what happened to him after those allegations") and I gotta say, it is REALLY FUNNY every time my fiancé and I watch the iCarly videos again, because when you cover Gibby's stunt double breaking his ribs, you cut to a clip of The Official Podcast. I used to play D&D with one of the main dudes from the podcast, so when he talks during that clip I do a goddamn double take literally every time.
Anyways, I remember an original Patreon stretch goal being a Fallen Titans on Homestuck! I was really big into Homestuck in my early 20s, and was wondering if that's still on the table at some point? If not that's fine, I understand plans change! I just love Fallen Titans lol, the Fred episode and the Neil Cicierega unFallen Titans are some of my favorite videos of yours!
That's a real funny story!
So here's the rundown on the Homestuck video. When I first started making long videos, they were actually inspired by the relationship I had with other YouTubers at the time. I used to watch, like, H3H3 and Filthy Frank, etc; and I'd always see people obsessed with the versions of creators from the past. Like, "Oh 2015 H3 was the best" and "Oh 2012 Frank was peak." So I had this idea that it would be crazy if H3 posted, like, a video he spent a decade on and you got a new video with 2015 H3 10 years on. (I don't watch H3 anymore ironically)
So the original idea for the "long video" format was that it would be cool if, throughout a long, analysis/review/recap video, you kept noticing someone get older. Maybe my months, maybe by years. That's why I always like to get a haircut when I start one of these videos. If you scrub through and you see my hair get longer and messier as it goes on I think that adds something magical you can't fake.
So... My pitch to the Homestuck video was that it would be funny to work on it just once per year. To record one segment, say "That's it for 12 months", and then come back around to it. And when I was making the iCarly and Victorious videos I actually recorded a few minutes of the video! I think it was two segments in total. But then I had a bunch of personal stuff happen and my work drive has been much lower, so any "back burner" video hasn't gotten much attention since then.
Now that the iCarly mini-series is done with, I want to focus on some short one-off videos I can make before April. But once that's done with, I would REALLY love to start work on a few more long-term projects which will take months or years to finish. I think returning to work on the Homestuck video, to at least get the first 20-30 minutes done, would be a great idea this summer.
Now, if you want to know my pitch for that video, here it is. The video is not a recap of the creative history of the franchise. I do not get into drama, community hell, lawsuits, or other YouTubers. My idea is this: you always hear about Homestuck as an outsider but you never hear about the actual content. Most franchises on Earth I know something about, even and especially if I've never been interested in them. I can tell you a bunch of facts about wrestling and MLP and the Fast and the Furious simply through cultural osmosis and having friends who are into those things.
I can't tell you the plot of Homestuck, who the characters are, what the themes are, nothing. I've known a lot of people who were into Homestuck but nothing about the series!
So I thought it would thus be funny to make a video about a bunch of people who know nothing about the series starting from the beginning and giving their reactions, even if it's been years since it all started. I call this part of the video the "Homestuck Book Club." So the next step is me picking out the members (who all have to have no history with it) and making sort of a podcast setup. We'd then read and record every six months or so, IDK.
This is why the video has been stuck in production hell! Everyone who wants to work on it and messages me about it already knows the franchise. I don't want spoilers, I don't want people writing for the video who get it already. I want to capture the "what the fuck is this" energy of three dudes just getting in the middle of it.
Also, I think that I really like the theme of the video capturing our lives as they go by, capturing us aging and changing. If you came back from the future and told me this video comes out in five years, I'd say great. If you told me it comes out in ten years, I'd say awesome. Until then, the latest edit will always be on Patreon, even if you have to dig a little.
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flamingtouya · 2 months
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𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —
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pairing: dabi + f!reader
word count: 4381
cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two
summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.
a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)
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Mar 02  10:07 PM
Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out Unknown: And paper towels
You: who is this??
Unknown: So funny
You: u got the wrong number my guy 
Unknown: Shit Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn? 
You: try the convenience store You: where’s the body at, anyways
Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out
You: sounds enticing You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast
You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though
Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong
You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨
Unknown: U sound cute Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime
You: that’s so sexist You: and correct You: you'd do numbers on reddit
Mar 03 00:16 AM
You: hey don’t leave now
Mar 03 00:34 AM
Unknown: Had a body to take care of
You: you didn’t wait for me? :(
Unknown: … Unknown: Are u fr
You: ofc not You: i don’t hang out with edgelords
Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways
You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me
Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness 
Mar 03 01:09 AM
Unknown: So wyd
You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?
Unknown: I do Unknown: I want to bother you tho
You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this
Unknown: Is that a complaint
You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up
Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid 
You: can’t mute unknown numbers
Unknown: Save this one then Unknown: Or block me idc
You: what name should i put it under
Unknown: Dabi 
You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord
Dabi: Stfu
You: good night to you too
Mar 03  07:58 AM
You: fuck
Mar 03 3:56 PM
Dabi: Did you miss me that bad 
Mar 03 4:32 PM
You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely
Mar 03 5:19 PM 
Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society
You: why what do you do
Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it
You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for You: did you just get up
Dabi: Hey now  Dabi: Yes  Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle
You: you are everything I am jealous of
Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good 
You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u
Dabi: Omg no way 
Mar 03 5:40 PM
You: no way what
Dabi: No way you said something witty 
Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all
You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul
Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already 
You: your turn
Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me
Dabi: That was a lie 
You: so you’re a liar
Dabi: I suppose I might be
You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. <3
Mar 03 9:12 PM
You: you probably have daddy issues
Mar 03 11:34 PM 
Dabi: Mind your business 
You: so i’m right
Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it
You: that’s a yes then
Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad 
You: LMAO You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then
Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off
You: alright i’ll stop digging You: wait how old are you You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude You: please no
Mar 04 00:02 AM
Dabi: Chill I’m 48
Mar 04 00:06 AM 
You: say sike right now You: if u rly are then i’m half your age
Dabi: You thought Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho
You: give or take a few days lol
Dabi: When’s your birthday 
You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it
Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older 
You: 🤨 You: it’s at the end of this month
Dabi: Baby 
You: are u flirting with me or insulting me
Dabi: Can’t I be doing both 
Mar 04 06:30 AM
You: love me a guy who can multitask You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels
Mar 04 11:11 AM
You: it’s 11:11 make a wish
Mar 04 2:02 PM
You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule
Mar 04 2:59 PM 
Dabi: Anybody hear sum 
You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping
Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy
You: X
Dabi: What's that mean
You: X for doubt You: it’s a meme
Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔
You: ew
Dabi: I was joking  Dabi: …unless 
You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate
Mar 04 7:10 PM
Dabi: What do you study 
You: are you trying to find out my location
Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it
You: that’s a consolation You: forensic science You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting
Dabi: So you do have bleach 
You: never said i didn’t
Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score
You: we haven’t met You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u
Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho
You: bet You: are you handsome You: asking for a friend You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying
Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking 
You: ...well played
Mar 04 10:09 PM 
Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy 
You: thought you were “freelancing”
Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age
You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀
Dabi: Perhaps I do
You: u r so mysterious You: tell me an opinion 
Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird 
You: that’s not an opinion 
Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population
You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself 
Mar 05 02:26 AM
Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few 
Mar 05 05:16 AM
You: what are you, some kind of druglord This message could not be delivered.
You: I knew it This message could not be delivered.
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Mar 0512:03 PM
You: ayo are you still there This message could not be delivered.
You: this is only funny if you come clean right now This message could not be delivered.
Mar 05 4:16 PM
You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days? This message could not be delivered.
You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u This message could not be delivered.
You: won't even miss u This message could not be delivered.
Mar 06 09:00 AM
You: hello is this thing on This message could not be delivered.
Mar 07 3:15 PM
You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324 This message could not be delivered.
Mar 07 8:46 PM
You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant sencha if they have the good one ground pepper, lemon juice This message could not be delivered.
Mar 08 04:44 AM
Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams
You: I'm killing you You: violently
Unknown: I was hoping softly Unknown: With your song
You: are these messages being monitored You: am i a suspect
Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate Unknown: I guess now they are
Dabi was added as a contact.
You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing
Dabi: Aw you missed me Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest
You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw
Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎
You: somehow i have doubts about that statement You: animal abuse is no joke
Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything
You: 69
Mar 08 08:21 AM
Dabi: It was 72 Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return
You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question
Dabi: No
You: in that case You: which of the following activities did you partake in? 1.) vandalism 2.) drug dealing 3.) drug trafficking 4.) violent crimes 5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals 6.) assisting someone in a violent crime 7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime 8.) theft 9.) robbery 10.) hate crimes against a minority 11.) politically motivated acts of defiance 12.) consumption of illegal substances 13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement 14.) domestic terrorism 15.) human trafficking 16.) money laundering 17.) having a good time
Dabi: What the fuck Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice? Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13 Dabi: My turn Dabi: What's your favourite food
You: fr, just like that You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring
Dabi: I ask what I ask
You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement
Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent
Mar 08 10:52 AM
You: i want another question
Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead
You: fine i'll take it You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities
Dabi: Yeah
You: …and?
Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?
You: fine
Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11 Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing
You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad
Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in
You: uh huh, taking notes You: anyway. you get one question. think hard
Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be
You: you're impossible
Mar 08 1:27 PM
You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess
Mar 08 2:23 PM
Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long Dabi: I wouldn't know
You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it
Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out
You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you
Dabi: I love surprises
You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture
Mar 08 7:18 PM
Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec
You: …oh no
Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario
You: alright lay it on me big boy
Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?
You: this is not forensic at all You: how strong is the electricity You: is there a way to shut it off You: where would you hold onto the fence You: can it be damaged
Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person
You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE
Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place
You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution You: will that be all
Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear
You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION
Mar 09 00:08 AM
Dabi: Excellent Dabi: Gonna do some field research Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day
Mar 09 08:01 AM
You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage This message could not be delivered.
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Mar 11 6:10 PM
Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho
Mar 11 6:39 PM
Dabi was added as a contact.
You: you're so hot when you're alive 
Mar 11 9:14 PM
Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏
You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery
Dabi: The slipperiest Dabi: You couldn't handle me
You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box  You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth 
Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay 
You: of course 
Dabi: I'm liking this scenario 
Mar 12 01:07 AM 
Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like
Mar 12 01:23 AM
You: i need u 
Dabi: Tell me more
You: to shut your mouth
Dabi: Are you trying to romance me
Mar 12 07:15 AM
You: i'm actually so upset right now  You: can i vent
Mar 12 07:27 AM
Dabi: Listening Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out
You: you're not empathetic enough for that 
Dabi: How would you know 
You: call it a woman's intuition  You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles
Dabi: Let's hear it girl  Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅
You: damn right they aren't You: but unrelated to that You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week  You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee
Dabi: What type of medication 
You: Ativan You: it's prescription only
Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only" 
You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug You: just feel like dying rn
Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this  Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery 
You: ...fukuju pharmacy
Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl 
You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden 
Mar 12 10:02 AM
Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine  Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy  Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?
You: ? ? ?
Mar 12 10:34 AM 
You: did you commit a crime for me  You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast
Dabi: I don't kiss and tell
You: did you follow me home  You: is this how i die
Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep
You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn
Dabi: Whore Dabi: (Respectfully)
You: lmao ur right You: thank you for real though
Dabi: Stfu
Mar 12 1:33 PM
Dabi: Do u like cats
You: yes
Dabi sent an image.
Dabi: Noodle thieving menace 
You: 🥹 You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen
Dabi: He’s hella fast 
You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once
Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime 
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Mar 13 00:00 AM
Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post. Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT' Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP' 
You: i know it's you shithead
Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 
You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl
Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 
You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life
Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 
You: STOP
Unknown: LMAO you thought
Dabi was saved as a contact. 
You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤
Mar 13 04:55 AM
Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics 
Mar 13 06:09 AM
You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought
Dabi: Is it working
You: evidently not
Dabi: Use me in ur thesis  Dabi: I'll be your lab rat
You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars You: what do you have me saved as in your phone
Dabi: I don't save contacts  Dabi: Especially not yours  Dabi: You mean nothing to me 
You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth
Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list
You: do u delete these chats
Dabi: Always
You: that's so romantic You: admit it you're actually a softie
Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me  Dabi: Then I'm the softest 
You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest
Dabi: ... Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that  Dabi: You've left me speechless 
You: 🥵🥵
Dabi: What's your worst quality  Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass  Dabi: *irritating 
You: was that a freudian slip You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable
Dabi: Proving my point so diligently 
You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently' You: i'm rather talkative at times You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me
Dabi: I never would've guessed
You: what's yours? You: besides the obvious
Dabi: Still putting up with you 
Mar 13 7:45 PM
Dabi: Wyd 
You: i burned my rice a little You: but it's edible
Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you 
You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time
Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either 
You: eh, they're alright You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏
Dabi: Omg sick Dabi: Me next
You: it was implied
Mar 13 11:11 PM
Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime  Dabi: No strings attached ofc 
You: i'm down
Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all
You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw
Dabi: I can't tomorrow  Dabi: What about the day after Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed
You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person? You: the day after sounds good
Dabi: Preem
You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station You: about time you had some good karaage You: my treat You: unless that's too far away for u
Dabi: I would fly across the world for u Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine
Mar 14 08:49 AM
You: how will i recognise u You: what do u look like
Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss 
You: i laughed
Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then  Dabi: Do tattoos scare you
You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else You: stand there with your tongue out
Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳
You: don't get any ideas  You: i don't intend to fuck u You: ...for now
Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards 
Mar 14 1:42 PM 
Dabi sent an image. 
Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way 
You: hhh fuck You: are u trying to intimidate me You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe
Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place 
You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u
Dabi: Bet 
You sent an image. 
Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different
You: 😳 You: i'm actually worse
Dabi: We're such a good match
You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe
Dabi: Please shut up
Mar 14 4:16 PM
Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything  Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol 
You: you have such a unique way with words 
Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way 
You: can we make that the first line in our sextape  You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it You: does that make you feel emasculated
Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks  Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule 
You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad 
Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement 
You: you're giving me ideas You: is there a bounty on your head
Dabi: I'm not that important 
Mar 14 9:44 PM
You: so you're just too good to get caught
Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it 
You: thanks for clarifying  You: i feel so safe now 
Dabi: Anytime  Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing 
You: 10 am is crazy  You: u r so vain 
Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔
You: i take it back You: be pretty for me
Mar 15 5:30 AM
You: can't sleep 
Mar 15 7:12 AM
Dabi: How the turntables  Dabi: Are you alright
You: yes  You: it's the good kind of sleepless 
Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all  Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too
You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself 
Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again 
You: should've ghosted me before i got attached
Mar 15 9:54 AM
Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully  
You: you make it so tempting 
Dabi: Getting out of bed then 
You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe
Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth
Mar 15 12:08 PM
Dabi sent a location pin.
Dabi: Is this the place
You: that's the one  You: be there in a few minutes 
Dabi: I'm waiting outside 
Mar 15 12:13 PM
You: omg i think i see u You: im shy
Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me 
You: give me a second You: alright I'm coming over This message could not be delivered.
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381 notes · View notes
wttcsms · 4 months
Note
WAIT DON'T CLOSE IT YET!!!!! the 'love story told in untraditional format' prompt and DABI??? mm.
would like to meet, touya todoroki ;
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pairing touya 'dabi' todoroki x f!reader word count 1.9k synopsis the dregs of society run rampant on hinge, and everyone knows you're not going to meet The One on there. but you know the saying... love does come when you least expect it. alternatively: catching feelings through the hinge dms. content contains one reference to jumping off a building, some sexual jokes author's notes OK not necessarily a love story, but there are feelings in involved, i swear. this is supposed to be fun & silly!!!!
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You nearly throw your phone across the room. Download Hinge, your friends encouraged you. It’ll be fun! 
You frown at Shigaraki’s ever-so-eloquent opening line of I’d blow yo back out. Yeah, you can see why this app was designed to be deleted. The fucking dregs of society are crawling all over this thing. Just one nice, well-adjusted individual. That’s all you’re asking for! 
Apparently, any decent guy is either taken or not on Hinge. You debate throwing in the towel and just meeting someone organically, like, out in public, exactly as the good lord intended, but right before you do, your phone vibrates.
New Notification!
Hinge | Dabi liked your image!
Hinge | Dabi sent you a chat!
It’s a Friday night, and you know for a fact that there is not a single sane man on this app, especially at this hour. Considering the fact that you’re sitting in bed right now, about to rewatch Pride & Prejudice for the sixth time this week, what else do you have to lose? Dignity? You open the app.
Apr 22 10: 24 PM
Dabi: You’re hot, what’s wrong with you
You: ?? 
Dabi: You’re too hot to be single and on here. What’s your deal 
You: you’re on here too? 🤨
Dabi: Would you say I’m too hot to the point where it’s suspicious I’m on here
You: i’m not here to give you an ego boost
Dabi: Then what’s the point of being on here
You: so you just get on here for free compliments?
Dabi: Maybe I have premium. Maybe I pay for these compliments 
You: yeah, you look like the type to pay for hinge premium ngl 
Dabi: Bye I’m going to talk to girls that are easier to manipulate 
You: please do 🙏 
Apr 23 1:21 PM
Dabi: Did you miss me
Apr 23 3:15 PM
You: so much
Apr 23 4:47 PM
Dabi: How much
Apr 23 6:01 PM
You: i was going to jump off a bridge if u didn’t text me 
Apr 23 8:01 PM
Dabi: Damn that’s crazy
Dabi: How I don’t care 
Apr 23 10:15 PM
You: don’t you have anyone else to bother
Dabi: I want to bother you though 
You: you probably scared off every girl you’ve ever come in contact with 
Dabi: True
Dabi: Except for you because you’re stupid
You: you pay for hinge premium, there’s an idiot in this conversation but it’s def not me
Dabi: I was joking 
Dabi: I don’t have money like that
You: i can tell
You: you probably take girls out for coffee as a first date, and then make them venmo u their half of the bill
Dabi: Nah
Dabi: I make her pay the full amount
You: i’m not surprised
Dabi: That was a joke too
Dabi: I never take girls out 
You: thank God
You: you’d probably be every girl’s worst date story
Dabi: Want to test that theory out 
You: no thanks, i don’t feel like being content material for some crime podcast 
Dabi: Smart girl
Apr 24 12:13 PM
Dabi: Wyd
You: at the police station, filing a restraining order on you 
Dabi: Damn 
Dabi: You want to be the one to put me in cuffs
You: the officer here actually has pink cuffs, i know some guys find that emasculating but you seem like you wouldn’t mind
Dabi: I love pink actually 
Dabi: I’m so down
You: i think you’re my dream guy
You: more like my sleep paralysis demon, but same difference 
Dabi: Aw you think of me when you sleep
Dabi: You’re that obsessed already
You: stfu 
Dabi: Don’t feel bad 
Dabi: I’m a munch fr
Dabi: I need u
You: what you need is to be put on some medication 
Dabi: Yeah you’re my medication
You: you need to be psychologically evaluated 
You: r u a social experiment 
Dabi: Stop flirting with me 
You: you’re so childish
Dabi: Am I bothering you
Dabi: Do I elicit strong emotions 
You: you don’t look like someone who knows the word elicit 
Dabi: I’m in grad school
You: wow
You: this is the first time you’ve left me genuinely speechless 
Apr 24 3:55 PM
Dabi: Yo when’s ur bday 
Dabi: Do you have any siblings 
You: are u gonna ask for my mother’s maiden name too 
Dabi: Yeah actually 
Dabi: Give me your ssn while you’re at it
You: ur a creep, ur lucky ur cute
Dabi: Wow, you can’t have deep convos with anyone any more without being accused of trying to get answers to their security questions
You: tell me something abt you first
Dabi: My dad sucks
You: yeah you look like you would have daddy issues
Dabi: Lmao
Dabi: I’m being fr though
You: yeah, a lot of dads do suck. what abt the rest of ur family?
Dabi: I haven’t seen them in years
You: oh
You: do they suck too?
Dabi: Nah
Dabi: I moved out as soon as I could 
You: your dad was that bad?
Dabi: The worst
You: are you trying to get pity pussy rn???? don’t tug on my heartstrings if it’s all just a lie
Dabi: Damn wtf
Dabi: But also depends. Do u wanna give me some pity pussy rn
You: bye i thought we were actually having a serious moment 
Dabi: I wasn’t lying. Swear
Dabi: Now tell me something too
You: im an attention seeker. that’s why im on here
Apr 25 1:56 PM
Dabi: Did u miss me not giving u attention
Apr 25 3:56 PM
You: sorry, i was having really crazy sex waiting for u to come back
Dabi: Fire
Dabi: You deserve it
Dabi: Me next?
You: only if you promise to tell me u love me before the post nut clarity hits
Dabi: I love manipulating women during sex
Dabi: Anything for u 
You: you say that but someone else is in my dms telling me that i can be his housewife and raise our kids and never work a day in my life again so pls top that offer 
Dabi: DAMN
Dabi: I bet he’s boring 
You: he’s not boring, we’re actually getting married and gonna have a big family
Dabi: Well clearly the fact that ur talking about him to me shows that u aren’t interested in him 
You: i’m telling u abt him so u have something to aspire to
Dabi: Damn you should date him then 
You: that’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said 
Apr 26 7:00 AM
Dabi: I hate you
Dabi: Wyd today
You: pls mind ur own business 
Dabi: Smd
Dabi: Tell me or I block you
Apr 26 8:19 AM
Dabi: U suck
You: and swallow
Dabi: No you don’t
Dabi: You probably spit it out
Apr 27 9:34 AM
You: true but in my defense, you look like you would produce something that tastes like toxic waste
Dabi: Were u deadass ignoring me 
You: don’t be so needy, dabi. it’s not a good look
Dabi: Sorry that was a moment weakness 
Dabi: So what now
Dabi: Is this when u give me ur insta
You: i don’t have any social media
Dabi: Nah you’re a catfish
You: maybe
Apr 27 1:34 PM
Dabi: Wyd
You: you’re a true wyd warrior, do u realize that
You: i’m currently getting my back blown out by a dude who posted his headshot as one of his hinge pics. i am not even faking my moans.
Dabi: Stfu 😂
Dabi: Do u even know what sex is
Dabi: Name one position 
You: easy, missionary 
Dabi: Well you’re on your phone so obviously the sex you’re having isn’t that good 
You: im just a good multitasker 
Dabi: tell me if ur shit is grippy
You: hold on, let me ask him
Dabi: Whats his name
Dabi: Whats he saying
You: don’t worry abt his name
You: he told me im gripping him so tight, it’s like i’m trying to take his blood pressure rn
Dabi: LMAO 
Dabi: That means ur not attracted to him
You: wow, a guy who knows that tight doesn’t equal aroused, i’m genuinely impressed w you 
You: and for the record, i would never actually fuck a guy who posts a professional headshot as one of his pics on hinge 
Dabi: Oh now you tell me
Dabi: Guess I have to cancel the appointment I just made to get a headshot done 
Apr 28 6:20 AM
Dabi: Im leaving Okinawa to go back to work. I’m sad, cheer me up
You: just commit a crime so they won’t let you leave
You: also i think maybe u need a psych eval or smth bc why are u still talking to me 🤨
Dabi: Nah tbh you’re the most interesting person on here
Dabi: I’m gonna go to tokyo and commit a crime on u 
You: yea, u not being in my guts rn should be a crime
Dabi: Chill my dick isn’t big enough for that 😂 
You: i want you to seek professional help
Dabi: I want u to seek these nuts in ur mouth
You: when should i ghost you
Dabi: Whenever u want bae you can ghost me anytime 
Apr 28 7:26 AM
Dabi: REPLY
You: u literally told me i could ghost u anytime WHAT IS UR DEAL
Dabi: Damn ok well when you do at least say goodbye
You: when i do, i’m reporting ur hinge account in the hopes that u get banned and have to resort to meeting women irl
You: i’m actually reporting ur account rn
Dabi: Good idea
Dabi: I’ll report u too 
Dabi: Before you get banned from hinge, can I have your number
You: no
You: i don’t give my number out to random ass strangers online
You: and ‘dabi’ is a weird name to have saved in my contacts
Dabi: Touya
Dabi: That’s my real name
You: oh
You: who the hell uses a fake name on a dating app??? 😭
Dabi: Stranger danger is real
Dabi: If I take you out on a date will you give me your number
You: a REAL date???
Dabi: Yeah I’m actually a gentleman in case you couldn’t tell
You: i don’t know how i could’ve missed that fact.
Dabi: I’m being fr though
Dabi: Dinner reservations and everything
You: are you paying the entire bill 🤨
Dabi: Why wouldn’t I
You: hmmm
You: every sex joke i made was definitely just a joke though, pls don’t get any crazy ideas
Dabi: Obviously you were joking, I’m not an idiot
You: you’re not gonna try to hit on the first date?
Dabi: If it’ll make you more comfortable, I’ll tape a 10 ft pole to my chest so I can’t get anywhere near you
You: cute
Dabi: Dinner tomorrow?
You: yes, dinner tomorrow 
Dabi: And if I do well, I get your number?
You: hmmm
You: i guess
Dabi: Fuck yeah
Dabi: I’m tired of texting you through hinge 
You: you only get it IF you do well
Dabi: I’m gonna rock your shit 
Dabi: Romantically 
You: sure you will
Apr 30 12:01 AM
Are you sure you want to delete the Hinge app?
Yes | No
You selected Yes! Reason for deletion?
[ ] No new matches
[ ] App is difficult to work with
[ ] Found another app to use
[ X ] I met someone
168 notes · View notes
boombox-fuckboy · 2 months
Note
Hi!
I have been following this blog for a while now and I love using it to find new podcasts. I was wondering, if you have time, what you think is the scariest podcast you've listened to or what your favorite horror podcasts might be? Thank you, and I hope you have a great day :)
I'm so glad to have helped you find new shows!
I don't really get scared by horror podcasts (not sure why. It isn't some "I'm tough" thing, I get startled by the toaster, and it's not like I never feel unsettled or concerned or icked out at podcasts, just not scared) so I'm not sure I can give you a good answer on that one, but I'll gladly give you ten of my personal favourites instead:
Alice Isn't Dead: The podcast that got me into podcasts. A truck driver travels the USA looking for her wife, who until recently, she had thought was dead. Along the way she has all manner of strange encounters, and sees a side to the world that few truely comprehend.
Archive 81: A young archivist takes a job at a remote outpost organising and digitising a collection of tapes. On the tapes is a series of interviews and investigations made by a social worker in the 90s as she becomes familiar with a bizzare apartment building. The archivist, naturally, has an increasingly bad time. Each season is part of the same story, but they're all a bit different.
Ghost Wax: Recorded interviews conducted by the last surviving necromancer, and various people who died under seemingly otherworldly circumstances.
Hello From The Hallowoods: Supernatural and cosmic horror. A powerful and dramatic entity visits your nightmares to relay stories of the people (to varying degrees of both human and alive) who inhabit the beautiful and deadly Hallowoods. What start off as individual stories quickly connect to a larger narrative.
Hi Nay: A supernatural horror following a young woman named Mari, who's babaylan (shaman) family background draws her into helping people with various horrific supernatural problems around Toronto. Formatted as phone calls to her mother telling her what's happened.
I Am In Eskew: Often-horrific stories from a man living in something that very much wishes to be a city, and a private investigator who was, in her words, hired to kill a ghost. Many people seem to agree this one is scary.
Janus Descending: A xenoarcheologist and a xenopaleontologist are sent to investigate and sample the ruins of a long-dead alien city, and discover more than they anticipated. The format for this one is really clever: you hear her audio logs first to last, and his last to first, and the story is all the more heartbreaking for it. I'd recommend listening to the supercut.
The Lost Cat Podcast: A man befriends strange entities, loses bits of himself and drinks an awful lot of wine while looking for his cat. Soft and cosmic horror.
The Moon Crown: The shortest on this list, but also one of the most fascinating. A disgraced scribe living in a city of humans, beasts, and other bizzare entities, begins to recount recent happenings, and actions she has a hard time explaining, on broadcast. But the people she's hoping to reach might not be the ones listening.
The Silt Verses: In a modern world where gods are plentiful, both illicit and commercialised, two disciples of an outlawed river god go on a pilgrimage.
Although, maybe some other listeners can help me out and share what scared them?
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rabbit-surfboard · 7 months
Text
Fictional podcast recs
One of my friends got into audio drama and I just sent them a whole list of recommendations to go through, I thought someone who follows these tags might also appreciate it and perhaps have some more to throw in. I resisted the urge to throw in the little blurb about audio dramas as a weird little medium and their tropes that I wrote up. It was something to the effect of nodding at how the medium has rapidly been improving since Welcome to Nightvale started, also how a lot of the tropes that tie the medium together are products of the indie podcast scene being accessible and primarily based in audio. Also at how well horror works in the format. Those paragraphs went unsaved but writing first about the medium in general helped me to reflect on a lot of the things that make audiodramas appealing or repulsive to me for discussing each show in brief beyond just explaining what they're about.
All recommendations are tagged for the tldr.
Fiction podcast recommendations in no particular order:
The Magnus Archives
Horror
The biggest criticism I ever had of this podcast’s voice acting from episode 1 turned out to be a relevant plot point. This thing is probably the best of the best, but I would never recommend it to someone unfamiliar with podcasts because the listener only notices a plot hook somewhere between episodes 20-40 and that’s daunting in the face of a 200 episode show. Getting sucked in rewards you with 200 episodes of thoughtful content and a great explanation for most of the weird things this show chooses to incorporate.
Old Gods of Appalachia
Horror
Fantastic production quality on this ongoing show. Many seasons with interconnected lore and a hell of a narrator. It’s not my personal favorite but it’s quite excellent.
Red Valley
Found footage mystery
One of the newer shows I’ve gotten into, Red Valley is well-crafted. It becomes compelling very quickly with a rapid pace that slows down to land in a neat spot for a while so you can savor the cool parts. The production quality is excellent and the two main voice actors have excellent chemistry. The third and final season is currently being produced.
The Silt Verses
Horror
Often compared to American Gods, this newer podcast made by an experienced team is doing a lot of creative and fresh things at once. The magnificently fucked up religious system of The Silt Verses is both a neat plot vehicle and cleanly works as a criticism of late stage capitalism, where many podcasts like to jab at capitalism this one is much more pointed in its commentary. Episodes are long and very well produced. All the credits in the third season have been mostly diegetic and add flavor to the world.
Archive 81
Found footage horror
Slow to start but by season 2 the production quality and plot are among the best in the game. Unfortunately, on an extended hiatus.
Ars Paradoxica
Science fiction, historical
Very well produced considering its age, this is a highly regarded show among people who follow the medium. Excellent time travel mechanics here. The plot drags a bit by the end because time travel stories must violently contort themselves into a conclusion, but the first season or two are fantastic and it’s always nice to have an ending instead of interminable hiatus.
Caravan
Gay demons n stuff
Showed up, did magic and gay shit, disappeared and went on hiatus probably with some kinda unsatisfying cliffhanger seeing as I don’t remember the plot. Could I recommend it in good faith? Not until they at least cough up season 2. I don’t remember it being bad and that alone is notable for the medium.
Mabel
Gothic horror
This is the deepest cut on the list except for maybe Caravan. Lesbians pine at each other for increasingly complicated reasons, eventually devolving into them doing datura and then spewing cryptic poetry together for the rest of their days. The production quality is fair. The slow windup and creepy house are American-gothic af. This show has had a few hiatuses, but each time it comes back significantly more intriguing.
Welcome to Nightvale
Goofy spooky news broadcast
Old and iconic, not very consistent. Sometimes explores emotional, tense, spooky, or funny scenes well, but the show is really focused on being local news for an ooky spooky desert town because Cecil is damn good at his job. Don’t come here looking for plot, it’s a fun vibe and I don’t know that anybody’s ripped it off and notably improved on this classic. Above average production quality for its time which improved through the years.
Alice isn’t Dead
USA road trip, horror
Made by at least one of the Nightvale writers, totally different show with a lesbian trucker making wry observations of some magnificently twisted shit seen around the United States. The producers know how to run a show, so the production is pretty good.
Tanis
Found footage horror
Tanis is not good. However, it was the first fiction podcast to make me ask “Is this real?” and hesitantly believe it for a frankly embarrassing number of episodes. The stories in the first season were interesting and the lore is just some big-tent conspiracy style of cramming a bunch of fun Wikipedia research into what turns out to be an increasingly nonsensical plot. Every season after the second, I return to hate-listen and am gaslit into thinking the show might low-key rock a few episodes before the finale, which is routinely frustrating and makes sure to throw out any good plot points Terry Miles comes up with. The acting is routinely terrible, and the frame narrative allows lazy and frequent retcons, ruining what I think is a good premise. Also it’s incomplete.
The Black Tapes
Horror
Terry Miles started this show before Tanis began releasing about 5 months later. I think of it as one of his earlier works because it behaves like Tanis with an added layer of cringe from a time waster of an awkward romance(?) between the two main characters. I couldn’t finish this show. You won’t see this recommended as often as it used to be online because there’s many better shows now, but this used to be a big deal. There’s a bunch of memes making fun of the annoying cadence of the characters’ speech and iconic sponsorship reads in both this and Tanis. If you’re interested in some cringe atop your creepypasta podcast, the two are interchangeable.  
Rabbits
ARG investigation
Not as horror focused as Terry Miles’ other shows, the cringe is dialed down and the show is better for it. Tanis and The Black Tapes are more well known, I think the only reason more people don’t think about this one is because the first two don’t inspire trust in the production or narrative quality of this show, but I remember it being fine for a season. I have not gone back to catch up now that more is out.
Malevolent
Horror
Inspired by The King in Yellow, one man performs two voices and verbally abuses himself with aplomb. Having a blind main character with an extra voice in his head is a frame story I haven’t heard yet (unless it came up in the magnus archives and I don’t remember), the concept works out great for the frame of a podcast to deploy the environmental imagery that foley cannot communicate. It also prevents the podcast trope of lengthy exposition about visual surroundings from sounding awkward or potentially impacting someone’s character development to show setting.
Wolf 359
Comedy, science fiction
A crew of whacky characters is stuck in deep space, hanging out and researching a star. Since that’s not actually very interesting they crack jokes and fuck around for a slow burn until interesting stuff happens. Good but not great, this one is long and satisfying and a bit less heavy than all the horror this medium often focuses on. Decent production quality.
The White Vault
Found footage horror
I lost patience with this podcast even though the overarching story seemed very cool – it progresses very slowly yet appears to grow bigger and more confusing instead of deigning to answer basic questions for a frustratingly long drag through the first four seasons. I worry that this frustration may be the point and the Patreon gated stories are the drivers for this tendency towards the confusing patchwork of ideas this show communicates. The production quality is good though.
The Left Right Game
Found footage horror
Genuinely great reddit creepypasta got turned into an overproduced podcast – I say “over” in comparison to the voice acting quality because it’s kind of impossible to sell some of the lines, which makes sense considering the source. Brief, complete, punchy, interesting, and just a little odd to hear such a clean production but a creepypasta this fun deserves the effort.
Wooden Overcoats
Comedy
Surprisingly good production quality for its age, and also a refresher from the usual tropes of the medium. Just a chill sitcom about a funeral parlor in a small town. I haven’t finished this 4 season show yet but its good.
The Black List Table Reads
Movie script readings
Some movie scripts just short of making the cut to be turned into a full Hollywood production were well liked enough by a group of film nerds that sat down to act them out as a podcast. Half of the episodes are interviews with screenwriters, and the other half see a script read all the way through by actors. They’re all rejected for different reasons so there’s a pretty broad spread of genres. My favorites were Blood From a Stone and Balls Out.
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calicobigamy · 7 months
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I can't be only one, right...?
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I wanted to finish the game and then write this post but I gave up. I put in 100 plus hours and just could not go on once I got into act three. Maybe no one will hear my pitiful cry from the void, but I must scream for the sake of my sanity.
I was completely and utterly disappointed by Baldur's Gate 3. 
It had huge maps like an open world game yet I had no desire to explore the settings despite their beauty. It had hours of dialogue as an RPG would and yet I found myself skipping characters' responses. The game mechanic structure was inspired by DnD, a story-telling game dictated by some rules, lucky rolls and the extent of players' imagination, yet I was strong-armed into fighting impossibly stacked battles. A story-telling game dependent on the players’ attachment to their and their teammates' characters and yet this game lacked any kind of narrative consistency or depth of feeling. 
Larian wanted to make an open world RPG, based off of DND mechanics and somehow did the worst version of all three. The studio touts that Baldur’s Gate 3 has 17,000 possible endings and 2 million words, but to what end? What did this game have to say about what happens when people rise to the challenge and become heroes despite their circumstances or fall into the dark and become the monsters they were supposed to fight? What did it suggest might happen when fate deals you a bad hand but in doing so also helps you find true friends or love with the other? Ultimately, nothing. 
BG3 is so large that it ends up being incoherent. No writing or game structure decisions were made to keep the narrative tight and on theme. It urges players to choose a moral alignment, but most decisions, good or bad, seem to end up having little effect in the end. To play the game at all you have to resort to save scumming and that in turn deflates the possible impact of so many plot points of the narrative overall. 
Forcing players to save scum in order to progress through the game is terrible design in general. Statistically speaking the bosses make impossible critical hits again and again. I was playing in the game’s “casual mode” and found myself struggling to get through confrontations with bosses that were at a lower level than my own. If you are reading and thinking oh well you are probably not using tactics or spells well, etc., let’s do a little experiment…
Take your d20 (https://rolladie.net/roll-a-d20-die if you don’t have one in person). In the third act of BG3 I had an AC of 13 as a sorcerer with 100 plus HP. Roll your d20 ten times or more. How many times out of ten would your character have gotten to hit mine successfully? Unless an enemy is extremely lucky it should be unlikely that an enemy could hit my character every turn they get. And even if they do they would have to roll for damage which is only a single d6, d8, d10 or d12 plus a modifier at lower levels depending on your class. Again an enemy would have to have an extremely lucky roll to hit me every turn AND deal significant damage. During an in person DnD session that is just a bad night for my character. In a video game on casual mode that is significantly suspicious. 
So what you might say. You've made and enjoyed the fanart, memes and etc. You got your $61 worth of playtime. So many other people were fine with the game, what is your problem? 
I love video games. They blend so many artforms and tell stories in ways never done before. It is a medium unique to our current century and when historians look back they will view video games as an insight to our culture. 
It frustrates me to no end that Baldur’s Gate 3 is considered the next gold standard. Too many games have done open world and RPGs in a fantasy setting far better for Larian (Swen Vincke) to have made the design and writing choices they did with BG3. There are so many podcasts and shows that have written better stories through the DnD format. I am embarrassed for the medium as an artist and frustrated as a player. Players and the industry deserve better than to have artists, actors, engineers etc. burn themselves out creating maximalist behemoths like this game. A game that is beautiful but basically unplayable, narratively, nihilistic and incoherent. 
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astral-cowboy · 1 month
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Silly little lando norris smau (part 4)
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
In which streamer!reader does an interview and exposes some important news.
Is this an excuse to write a chuckle sandwich interview? Yes. Am i including Slimecicle in this despite his unfortunate departure? Yes. Is this the silliest thing I've ever written? Yes. Is it in script format because i can't be bothered to write an actual fanfic at the moment? Absolutely.
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[transcript of the "Chuckle Sandwich" podcast]
JSchlatt: you know, I heard that you managed to turn Charlie into a cat? How…
Charlie: (laughing) how did you… do that?
Y/N: it wasn’t me; it was my boyfriend.
Ted: your boyfriend, hit formula one driver, Lando Norris?
Y/N: mhm.
JSchlatt: wow…
Charlie: you think you know a guy…
Ted: and you just kept Charlie in your house?
Y/N: mhm, fed him three times a day. I mean, surely you remember this, Charlie?
Charlie: (laughing) yeah, multiple toys, got to drive my own race car, truly living the life.
Ted: in Monaco?
Charlie: in Monaco.
JSchlatt: welcome to chuckle sandwich, we have (your user).
[intro]
Ted: we have this segment we do with all our guests. The premise is, we all make up a piece of the sandwich, Charlie is the meat, ted is the bread, and Schlatt is the mayo. The question is, Y/N, is what are you?
Y/N: what am I?
Ted: what are you?
Y/N: hm… id say… maybe the crisps on the side.
JSchlatt: the crisps?
Y/N: chips
JSchlatt: ah.
Charlie: so, Y/N…
Y/N: Charlie…
Charlie: It’s been a very interesting time for you.
Y/N: like, in general or, like, specifically now?
Ted: I’m assuming he means recently
JSchlatt: don’t assume what he means.
Ted: I’m just saying!
Y/N: (laughing) it has been interesting recently, to answer your question.
Ted: moved to Monaco.
Y/N: I did.
Charlie: turned me into a cat.
Y/N: (laughing) that was Lando.
JSchlatt: had a child?
Y/N: oh shit! I forgot about that!
Ted: how… how did that rumour start?
Y/N: I have no idea; I just woke up to that post on twitter and a message from a very urgent Charlie asking what kind of toys the baby likes.
JSchlatt: any other reactions?
Y/N: Lando got a message from his teammate, Oscar Piastri, who was very… angry that he didn’t tell him… oh yeah, there were also a lot of congrats messages from the others on the grid as well. Neither of us knew what was going on.
Ted: I bet, it’s a very..
Charlie: very personal situation
Y/N: definitely. I… I knew what I was getting into, not even when dating Lando but with choosing this career.
JSchlatt: hmm, oh yeah.
Ted: so when people came up with this rumour?
Y/N: it was odd. I wasn’t as pissed as people would think, but I wasn’t exactly happy.
Charlie: and, just to give those who don’t know about your life, can you tell us who your boyfriend is, what he does, how you met-
JSchlatt: what he’s like in bed, everything.
Y/N: (laughing) my boyfriend is Lando Norris, he’s one of two drivers on the McLaren team in Formula One, we met via a mutual friend, Max, who invited me to be in a Quadrant video.
Ted: I’m assuming a different Max to the red bull guy
Y/N: different max, yeah. We hung out more because my friend Will, WillNE, umm, is now a co-owner of Quadrant, so when that stuff was being sorted which took… a while, umm, me and Lando talked for a bit about random stuff.
Charlie: and you then fell in love, or?”
Y/N: we flirted but neither of us really… were serious. We had kind of a friends with benefits thing for a while, but it ended when I got serious with my ex, so our relationship was very… rocky.
JSchlatt: did you know that he was a Formula One driver?
Y/N: Will had to be the one to tell me, I honestly just thought he was a streamer.
Ted: really?
Y/N: I hadn’t watched F1 since I was about ten and even then, I only really paid attention to the drivers when they appeared on Top Gear.
Charlie: Top Gear?
Y/N: British car show,, they had this segment called ‘the star in a reasonably priced car’ where they’d interview a celebrity and then have them drive around a track in something that would be considered a common car like a kia or something. I remember seeing Hamilton get the top score for ages but I’m pretty sure Daniel had it when the show ended.
Ted: are you close with the other drivers?
Y/N: I mean, I’ve talked to Oscar and Carlos a bit because… you know, but I wouldn’t say I’m very… close to them. Lando has his friends, I have my friends, it just so happens that some of those overlap. Would I like to be closer to the other drivers? If I’m being entirely honest, I’m happy where I am now.
Ted: now, you moved to Monaco earlier this year, what was that like?
Y/N: stressful, I couldn’t say ‘I’m moving in with my boyfriend’ but I also couldn’t keep the entire move a secret because then people would be like ‘why aren’t you streaming with James anymore?’ and start stupid rumours like they always do.
JSchlatt: what you did there was make people think you moved to evade taxes.
Y/N: that… (laughing) that is exactly what happened.
JSchlatt: but you weren’t.
Y/N: but I wasn’t.
Ted: you’ve been in the… public eye since you were a child
Y/N: I mean, I’ve been making content since I was… eight? Nine? Around that age
Ted: what would you say is the most stressful part of content creation?
Y/N: (laughing) how many people have you asked that question?
Charlie: too many
JSchlatt: far too many
Y/N: well, umm… I think the most stressful thing, for me at least, is the work life balance. Like many youtubers, I primarily filmed in my bedroom, its where my pc was set up and everything. I used to stream every day; I was… I burnt myself out. I was doing all of that as a full-time student with a part time job. I have since graduated and I’m not exactly employed anymore so I have a lot of time now but even then, I try not to stream every day.
Ted: and I don’t know how much I’m allowed to talk about this, please let me know if this is a breach of any plans or anything, but your newest projects…
Y/N: oh! Um… yes? Yeah. I can talk about it.
Charlie: to what…
JSchlatt: to what extent?
Y/N: I mean, if you upload this on the same day, I can talk about all of it.
Ted: … we can do that
Y/N: great!
Charlie: so, for the people at home, what is the oh so secret project?
Y/N: songs. I’ve been getting into music I suppose.
JSchlatt: good songs?
Y/N: id like to think so. I’ve been working with James Marriott, he helped me with the producing and everything. This, umm, three song EP, I suppose, is a collaborative work. I came up with the basic meanings of all three songs and then we worked on the lyrics and the track together.
Ted: and the music video?
Y/N: (laughing) the music video was done by some guy I know, does silly videos on the barbie cinematic universe, and ate an entire edible nerd’s rope by himself.
Ted: sounds like a handsome man.
JSchlatt: Final question!
Charlie: (laughing) oh god!
JSchlatt: would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more games, Or, games, unlimited games, and no games?
Y/N: oh.. um… can I phone a friend?
JSchlatt: Lando has already answered this question.
Y/N: ok… bacon makes me feel kind of ill… and if I didn’t have games I wouldn’t have a career.
JSchlatt: great!
[Transcript End]
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Text
Do you love detective stories but hate cops?
Do you love gay detective stories and hate capitalism?
Like disabled main characters who's disability actually comes up?
Like characters of color but not in the mood for stories on racism?
Tempted by the thought of romance at ages of 30+?
Does the idea of stories so queer you'll hesitate before calling any character a "man" or a "woman" make you think "Ah, yes pronoun shenanigans, just like my discord used to make"
And you into an abundance of strong, diverse female and nonbinary characters?
Do you fight for women's wrongs?
I know rep-only recommendations can be annoying, but I'm trying to grab your attention to promote some Indie media. Luckily, though, this post isn't rep-only!
To read my full reccomendation and review of Three of Hearts, click below. ♦️♥️♣️♠️
And if you aren't in the mood for a new thing right now, consider reblogging! Maybe even ping a friend who might be into this! You love supporting queer indie creators!
Note: I am not involved with the making of the show or the game space Kings. I just really like this podcast.
The story
♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ centers on two paragovernmental agents in a fantasy, post-war, queernormative 1950s.
Roughly 20 years before the opening, a set of heroes purged magic from the world to turn the tide of the war. But scraps of this thaumaturgic energy still remain. S.U.I.T.S (securing unpredictable injurious thaumaturgic situations) is an agency founded to deal with everything left behind.
When two of the longest standing employees at S.U.I.T.S, Agent Vellum and Agent Felspar, are called onto a new case involving stone crops and a missing person, Felspar isn't surprised (Though Vellum, who's injury had him doing desk work most of his career, is). Things devolve quickly when the Agents realize this case comes from Felspar's home town of Cloven heart, an idyllic magical village that prefers to handle justice on it's own.
Answers yield only more questions, as the Agents realize almost everyone in town has something to hide, and Felspar isn't the only one whose past keeps catching up to him:
How much magic is still around? What's Vellum got sloshing around in there that people think is so juicy? What is Diamond, elven pop star and queer icon, doing in such a small town? Just how big is this case, and how can the Agents balance their legal responsibility, with promises they've made to Cloven Heart?
WHEN. WILL. THEY. JUST. KISS?
(if you're skeptical about central romances, I get it! See notes on aro/aceness and platonic relationships in the rep section for more info)
The combination of magic and newfangled war tech — think telegrams and radios — is somehow just as charming as a rotating cast of characters who will each stake their claim on your heart, but betrayal is imminent and mistrust is rife. The story strikes a wonderful balance between slice of life goodness, and edge-of-your-seat high drama, culminating In a show I highly recommend.
But are they just reskinned cops: my answer has got to be no. While they are technically law enforcement, the main two are entering a commune-like space, where that isn't so welcome. It's a situation they treat with caution and respect. The classic cop-plot of "Should I make myself judge, jury, and executioner because The Bad Guy™ deserves punishment" just isn't a problem. The justice system isn't perfect, in our world or the show's, and the story acknowledges that. But in a social, cultural way, they don't act like cops. They DO act like detectives. But the rules they choose to break and the ones they choose to follow will hopefully satisfy my fellow cop-haters who crave a good mystery
The format
♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ is an Indie actual play — this is not DnD, hear me out — podcast in the game Space Kings. All the tension of dice rolls, without drawn out combat or clunkiness, it's a breeze of story-forward listening, even if you've never listened to actually play podcasts before!
If you've tried dnd actual plays, and haven't like the flow of them, I would recommend trying this. A few encounters that may feel random (though they're not) get the story kicked off at a fast pace, but it quickly settles into a story with a tight plot, great pacing, and impactful character development.
The use of a playing card deck to see the outcomes of risky actions means that no matter what happens, success or failure, the tension keeps rising. And the hosts do a wonderful job of explaining mechanics in the show, so it never interrupts the listening experience.
Actual-play connessuires who want to primarily see people playing a game might not be satisfied, as bonuses are given liberally, and I would describe the podcast as more story focused than game focused, But the risks are ALWAYS real, sometimes (often) with thrilling, shocking outcomes.
Also concerned AP listeners should know there's some chaos magic involved! I was surprised when it first came up, and doubtful about how it might affect the story, but it ended up weaving into the rest of the plot really well, and I feel neither like it had no affect, nor like it shook up everything the party was building in an unsatisfying way. Personally I would have preferred to go in knowing it was there, but I also don't think it's major enough to belong in the main synopsis. Now you know, though!
The hosts make a real effort to blend stats and story, and I think the pull it off wonderfully without spending too much time on mechanics. If you want to see that though, session 0 and other details are on the Patreon (where you get the same content no matter how much you pay, at a minimum of a dollar a month).
The pod has all the lighthearted fun and banter of a "friends around the table" show, but never once have I had that "oh my god, I'm not a part of your inside joke, shut up and play!" Feeling.
I think it's a delight for AP and non-AP fans alike.
The episodes: roughly 45- 75 minutes long, with a midtro and some post-end music scenes, so listen through the end music, or check that there isn't extra content by seeing how close the play head is when the end music starts. It's not too long and quite pleasant in my opinion! The midtros always come at a nice moment to step back from the story, and are not too long and not irritating. I enjoyed listening to them! At some point, a midtro starts getting reused, and I was slightly disappointed I wasn't hearing new jokes every episode, but it's a small thing. I skip the repetitive ones with my 30 seconds forward button, and while I haven't timed the Intro, that's worked really well for me. I don't have to fiddle with my play head to make sure I don't skip forward too far. Super convient.
Trigger warnings: the show is pretty lighthearted! Listeners sensitive non-graphic mentions of needles, blood, and/or guns might want to skip on this one, but most episodes don't get heavy. The few that do have pre episodes notes that warn you things get dark, how they get dark, and how to skip the darkest bits. Personally, I listened through them and enjoyed those parts a lot! But if that's not your thing, I agree with the warning that they're very skippable, and I think trigger-sensitive listeners will be pleased. As an indie pod, there are no fan made, super specific lists of triggers. However, my DMs are always open if you have particular concerns, and I'll answer to the best of my ability.
I try to emphasize the balance between lightheartedness and drama, but if you mental health is sensitive to grim & dark media, i think this one is pretty safe. Please always exercise caution! But I'd describe 30♥️s as emotionally restful.
Transcripts: transcripts are in the works, but do not currently exist. Three of Hearts is a non-scripted show, so those are also unavailable
The rep
Don't you hate when someone raves about rep and you go in expecting something good and get like. One dog-boy described as having "chocolate colored skin"? Or when people make a "watch for rep" post and then mention like. Gay and maybe trans people and that's it, even when shows DO have disability and POC rep? Yeah that's not me. Here's the spoiler free rundown, race is at the bottom because I get into more detail with it, not because it isn't important:
Edit: For more on some of these topics from a hosts perspective, see the reblogged addition by @/citrusandsalt
MLM characters: Main characters, one confirmed bi the other unknown
Wlw characters: Reoccurring side characters (present or mentioned in every episode I think) Married. Orientation unspecified.
Enby love: LOTS. It's actually hard to really categorize mlm and wlw stuff because almost every character is nonbinary. Anyways— it's VERY queer
Women: I...I don't know exactly which characters are women 😂. But there are many feminine characters, and they're badass as fuck. Some are compassionate, some are cold, some are chaotic, most are a mix! The two main characters are...masculine...(I say with much hesitation) but you will not feel robbed for your woman-ly content.
Non-traditional family structures: All of the families in the story, pretty much, are non-traditional. Adoption is super common. (You want some wlw who just KEEP adopting kids? You got em) Found family is a MASSIVE force in the story. Also, It's a post-war story.........which is to say almost everyone's parents are dead.
Edit: an MC had poly parents, which may not be obvious but is true!
Polyamory: to my knowledge so far, there are polyam characters, and it is definitely present in the world! But no poly relationships in the forefront. I am about 2/3 through the current episodes, so there may be a present polyamorous relationship later, but also if I confirmed it that would be a spoiler. This may be that "playing it by ear" thing that happens with ttrpgs. I wouldn't listen for the hope of polyamory alone, but I don't tell you it's not there/won't happen.
Trans characters: almost all of them. Might think "oh there are only a few!" And you are wrong. You are so wrong.
Neopronoun users: yup! To my knowledge, minor characters. A handful who use at least he/she/they or they/them and may also use neos in a manner im forgetting
Plurality: no system characters yet, but the creators are friendly, I asked ;)
Platonic relationships: YES. As an aro person who hates so many romance tropes this one gets my stamp of approval. There's no real jealousy drama, exes who communicate and are supportive, and romance doesn't kill friendships. There's a central sibling relationship and non-familial platonic ones that have conflict, drama, resolutions, and a deeply satisfying significance in the story. If you don't like romance at all, this one might not be for you. If you just don't like stories exclusively about romance, I think you'll enjoy this. Genre wise, I'd definitely describe three of hearts as a mystery primarily with a strong romantic subplot, not a romance itself, and that comes through in player and character's additives and priorities.
Aro/ace characters: none confirmed yet to my knowledge. Romance is very central, sex is joked about on occasion but it isn't at the forefront of the story at all. There are many, single characters who are thriving.
Edit: Actually! There is one character who discusses demiromanticism in cannon that I forgot, and another confirmed out of cannon character who is ace. Both are non-main major characters!
Age diversity: the youngest characters in the show are older to middling teens, and the oldest are in their 400s. Okay but the oldest in human terms are roughly 60-70. The most common age range, and the ones the central characters are in, is 30-40. The second most common is that 60-70, then some ~40-50 folks here and there, with people in their 20s being probably the rarest (no named ones off the top of my head?) And there are a small number of teens. This is not a story about youth and youthful beauty. Generally, the older a character becomes the most bad ass/spooky powerful they are, and older characters are very involved in the plot.
Mental illness and neurodivergency: to my knowledge so far no characters are in cannon confirmed to have a specific mental illness or ND, though I wouldn't be surprised if it was part of a character or the main characters, and just hadn't come up. Listeners with cluster b or "scary" disorders, or with conditions that may cause them to lash out, will find satisfaction with how compassionately the narrative treats werefolk. To say more encounters spoilers. I would also say that depression, while the word isn't used and it is not central to the story, is present as a narrative force, and also treated wisely and with compassion. Still, as is usually for a good story, all of these bitches need therapy.
Disability: LOTS. There's a lot of "different, not broken" themes that disabled listeners are likely to love, but both of the main characters are disabled! One is a cane user, the other experiences migraines. These have a genuine, pressing, mechanical impact on the story. It's COMES UP. It's a real joy. For a magical world, there is no magical healing! Or there is, but it isn't a perfect solution, which in my opinion is just a magical version of real healing, though yours may differ! Also, there is a minor, reoccurring character who's a wheelchair user, and I think he's really fun.
Disfigurement: Excuse me if I am not prepared with the most sensitive way to speak about this, but I'm doing my best! There is a character with no eyes or nose, who is central and lovely. To my knowledge, there are no amputee characters or characters with limb differences (of the wheelchair user I'm not sure if it's specified whether or not he has legs). There is a character of questionable morality who has significant facial and bodily disfigurement. In as few spoilers as possible: this was not injury or genetic related. The disfigurement is treated with a firm compassion, and does not exist as a "this character is evil" signal. It's a long arc, but I imagine people who relate will be satisfied, though I cannot speak for anyone.
Characters of color: many! The main two are Hispanic and Asian. Terms like "dark skinned" are used for characters, but in the fantasy world race doesn't exactly translate, and I wouldn't call it "important" in this story. Read more about race below:
Fantasy racism: sort of! The word "race" is used to mean "humanoid species" and I know some folks don't like that? None of these fantasy races are oppressed, but specific people (Magic versus non-magic people) have conflict about that aspect of their identity, and policing is a related concern. I would place the allegory more in the space of transness and disability/neurodivergency if pressed to choose, but it doesn't feel like it's trying to tell a story about real-world oppression, primarily. I have more complicated thoughts on exactly what I'm trying to communicate here, but they involved some spoilers. DM me for more info!
Hosts/creator identity: out of three hosts, two are white, one is not! They are very queer, and disability is also...a thing! These are real life people, so I'm not going to get into detail, but check out their twitters plugged in the show for more on how they self-identify.
Okay but are they racist: Real talk! As a black person who thinks I keep my ears sharp, I would say no! Not at all! This is one of those situations where I was like "YOU'RE WHITE?" And shocked about it, (if you listened to TSCOSI, same vibe) which is a very good thing in my books. The hosts are open and sensitive, and I have no complaints, however, this is just one perspective! This isn't coincidental, race is an active consideration in how the story is told — just not a central theme.
Edit: One of the hosts, Essay (@/citrusandsalts) discussed more on hosts identities in a reblog! If this concerns you, and you want less of me walking on eggshells about other people's identities, read her addition too!
Edit 2: Jordan, the GM also has commented additions!
Minor but worth mentioning: A minor character has a name with what I believe is the Nahuatl "tl" sound in it, which is not pronounced correctly. It's a really hard sound! I can't really do it! But if that really irritates you this might not be the podcast for you.
People who might be interested in this post, as always let me know if you don't want to be pinged (I rarely ever do this) and it won't happen again: @citrusandsalt @fyeahaudiodrama @boombox-fuckboy
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writergeekrhw · 7 months
Note
hi!! i'm sorry if you've gotten similar questions before, but i'm very curious. i've thought about going into writing for television but i don't know where to start, and i also don't want to cross picket lines/scab. do you have any advice?
Well, picket lines aren't a problem anymore, so...
Learn - Watch your favorite shows and movies. Break them down into structure. You can outline as you watch. Scene, Time of Day, Actions, Who Says What. Read great books, consider taking a class on TV writing at someplace reputable online (UCLA Extension is really good). Read about basic screenplay structure and format.
Write - Write the following: 2 spec pilots, 1 episode of an established show that's currently on the air. Maybe a feature. (You probably should buy Final Draft at this point)
Apply for programs: There are studio writing programs that train writers. Getting into one of these can definitely help. Here's a list: Fellowship & Writing Programs for Screenwriters Masterlist — The Writers Guild Foundation (wgfoundation.org)
Keep writing. I had a teacher tell me it took 10 scripts to get good. Have you written 10 full scripts? If no, keep writing. If yes, keep writing.
Consider moving to Los Angeles. Los Angeles is where you can get work as a Writers P.A. or Assistant. That's how you'll get to know writers. It's much harder to do that if you're not in L.A. But also keep in mind that Los Angeles is a very expensive city and you'll probably have to work a civilian job to survive until you get a showbiz one and that it can cost $1500/month just for a room in a shared apartment. So... consider...
Network with peers. Network with fellow aspiring writers you meet in your classes/online/etc. Join a writers group. Be a great person. Help each other. Hopefully you and your peers will all rise together and you'll be able to help each other out once you start getting jobs.
Keep writing. Never stop writing new things.
Rise through the ranks. Hopefully you'll get a Writers P.A. job at some point. Be a good person. Work hard. Make a good impression. Get promoted to either Writers Room Assistant or Showrunner's Assistant. Have a show that goes multiple years. Have your boss (eventually, don't rush it) read your amazing sample which she'll hopefully love. Get a script assignment in a later season. Write an amazing script. Have show go ANOTHER season, get promoted to Staff Writer. CONGRATULATIONS! You've made it.
Keep going. You need to continue to get promoted and staffed for multiple seasons to have a stable career and even then, it'll never stop being a hustle.
ALTERNATIVE PATH: Write the most amazing novel/play/youtube thing/graphic novel/podcast ever and have that optioned into a series and insist on being on staff as a condition of sale.
WARNING: Results are not guaranteed. The odds are NOT in your favor. Try at own risk. Los Angeles is expensive and breaks people. It can take 5-10 years from first script to first job. Or never. Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here. Objects in the Rearview Mirror are Farther Away Than They Appear. Read about Survivorship Bias before taking any showbiz advice from anyone.
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