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adeehayag · 10 months

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too far / a self para (pt. 3)

triggers: murder, death

July 22, 2023 (almost midnight)

Why is it that when Maya died -- I'm really not sorry about it -- but it was my birthday the next day and I went to Medusa to celebrate that, I had people look at me strangely for doing that, but bodies have been dropping left and right recently, and if you're not in a celebratory mood tonight at this engagement party, you're in the wrong?

People suck, I thought, as I made my way to the open bar. And everyone here will pay.

My brain grew tired of planning after Toby, and I figured it just wasn't for me. That was more Jake's area of expertise anyway and besides, it's so much more fun to just wing it because not only will the future dead person be surprised, so will I! A fun, little surprise for me, like a treat.

I want to have a lot of treats tonight, I thought as I took a sip from my drink. The only plan I have for tonight that's set in stone is that I'll convince people I'm well on the way to being drunk as the night goes on, when I'll be anything but, to make people think that I could never be responsible for any of the murders that will be happening tonight.

I had a list of people I want to kill: Jieun and her friends but Jieun specifically for being a fake bitch, Lucia for grieving like she was Dante's girlfriend when, news flash, she wasn't and never will be, that overdramatic, overtalkative bitch, Dominic for making fun of me because I couldn't drive like he's sooooooo special for not making use of public transportation, Analu for breaking up with me all those years ago and still, to this day, never really giving me a reason why, Greyson for not choosing me, Kat solely because it's something I've been dreaming of for a long time now and of course, Sarah and Charlotte, solely for being Jake's sisters.

I didn't need a reason, but I still got them. I'll be sure to let them know why I wanted them dead before I slit their throat.

Everyone's soooooooo cute for thinking I'll stay the sniveling, crying, weak person I used to be that let Kat slap me without fighting back. They'll never expect that that person is dead, buried alongside the rest of the people I stabbed.

The person I am now is just one of the many things I'm so thankful to Jake for.

However, as excited as the thought of having multiple treats tonight made me, I still had to keep up the pretense that I was the woman who had lost everything. In a sense, that was still true. But why dwell on the thoughts of the people who are already dead when I could just think about the people I could still kill?

I wasn't in a celebratory mood, that's for sure. I love love, always have, and I always want to celebrate it, but isn't it clear to everybody that Mei doesn't actually love Levi? It's actually kind of funny to see everyone put on a smile and pretend to be happy, because I'd been doing the same thing for a long time. A long, long time now, it seems.

It also didn't really sit right with me that Mei doesn't seem to be as happy as she could be, when she was getting exactly what I used to wish on every star and every 11:11 for -- a rich, devoted husband, though I could do without the whole religion talk, and a child. A family. A future that's set and stable and secured. She'd never want for anything and she doesn't even seem all that grateful for it.

Maybe I could still have all of that with Jake once Kat's out of the picture.

I kept ordering drinks, kept pretending to drink them, kept walking around pretending to be drunk and that I needed to go to the bathroom or outside to get some fresh air, but I was mostly looking for any opportunity to get people on their own.

Maybe I should have come here with a better plan, I started to think because it seemed like I wouldn't be able to do as much killing as I wanted to, just as the red and blue lights filtered in through the windows. I didn't have to fake my confusion as I wondered what was going on, and the shock evident on my face was genuine when the Chief of Police told the entire ballroom of Lucia's death.

Damn it, Jake. She should have been mine, I couldn't help thinking, though I had to stamp down my laughter as I listened to the murmurs around me. Bye, bitch. Down in the dirt you go, where you belong.

Other than the initial shock and glee that she was dead, though, I found that there was also disappointment. I talked a big game about killing people tonight and I actually hadn't done anything yet. I didn't know Jake was going to kill tonight, and if he could do it even with all these people around, even with a date, even with his siblings at this party, then I most definitely can too. I just need to figure out how to actually do it, and the fact that everyone's now locked inside the hotel room just made everything so much harder.

People wouldn't dare pass up the opportunity to think of me as a weak person, I had come to realize. It's easier for them to think of me as that and I know now that I could use that to my advantage. That, and the fact that everyone thought I was drunk tonight meant that they wouldn't really think twice about me running to the bathroom, especially when I say I'm about to throw up.

I took a special interest when I saw that Levi was going upstairs to his room, instead of going back to the ballroom where Mei was, and my curiosity got the better of me as I followed him up to his room. Just like Toby, I wondered if he was really as nice as he seemed. He was selfish, that was for sure. He wanted to celebrate while people were dying around him.

Maybe the world would be a better place without him too. He hadn't been on my list but I can add him onto it right now, I thought as I checked to see the knife in my purse, the same one I used on Rhys all those months ago. Usually, selfish people were at least smart people, but Levi didn't seem to be one of them, because he didn't even consider having security at this event. An event with his pregnant fiancée, mind you.

I just waltzed in here, in my sparkly dress, a knife that could definitely implicate me for Rhys' murder, hidden in my equally sparkly purse, and nobody knew about it. Sure, I could always say that I have it to defend myself in case a situation arises, but I also didn't want to be labeled a suspect, like Toby had been. All because of a video that didn't even make that much sense to me.

I could turn on the waterworks, though, and I know people would stop thinking that I'd have anything to do with these murders. People never want to see a woman cry, especially one who looked like me and who had publicly lost so much. They'll never believe it.

Suckers.

I laughed as Levi asked me what I was doing, before I took out the knife. What did he think I was doing? Just taking a casual stroll into his hotel room with a knife out for what? A conversation? Wow, he really was stupid.

And then he had the audacity to ask me if I had been the one to hurt Lucia, and I rolled my eyes as I kicked the door closed behind me so that it was just him and me in this room. I deserve a little privacy with the man of the evening, do I not?

No. That wasn't me. I wish it had been me, though. I would have loved to see her die, I told him with a smile. Don't worry, I said, opting for a soothing tone. It's my turn now.

There it is. There's the wonderful panic in their eyes, and it made me grin wider as I looked up at him, the anticipation on my end and the fear and tension on his end palpable before I dropped my smile and lunged forward, only smiling again once I felt the sweet feeling of blood on my hands.

This is what I should have been doing the whole night, I thought as I looked into the eyes of the man who would not stop talking about his beautiful wife to be, about what a blessing a child is, about how blessed he was. What a load of fucking bullshit, I thought as I let out a laugh when I took the knife out. I want to see every emotion on his face, I want to see the moment when he realizes there's absolutely nothing he can do. That he's at the mercy of someone who's friends with his future wife, who even slept at Mei's apartment for a couple of nights.

Mei deserves this, I thought as I stabbed Levi in the chest, a cackle escaping past my lips. An ungrateful woman and a selfish man. Wow, maybe they really are meant to be together.

Too bad he's going to die. No prayer to his god could save him now.

Where's your God now? I asked him before I started laughing and laughing, overcome with the glee that came from the look on his face. I was still careful, though. Even though I pushed him on the bed to make stabbing him easier and escape harder, I was making sure none of his God-loving blood would end up on my pretty cute dress. I could still use this dress in the future, but some of his blood splattered on my purse.

Letting out a loud groan, I continued stabbing him until I was satisfied, sighing with relief once I let the blood drip down to the floor from my knife.

Now that I started, I wasn't going to stop any time soon. I wanted more of this feeling. I wanted to kill. I wanted people to suffer.

I made sure everything was in their rightful place when I got out of the room, making sure it was locked behind me, but my eyes widened when I realized I wasn't alone in the hallway, and I quickly turned around

A part of me wondered if I could get away with it somehow, just keep walking away from this person I met at Medusa since I had my back to her anyway, but then Iris started talking. Hey skank, you obviously know he’s engaged, do better.

And just like that, the smile was back on my face, and the knife was back in my hand.

This bitch.

What the fuck did you just call me? Huh? I asked, eyes glinting with a mixture of fury and glee. I thought I was satisfied with killing Levi, but I wasn't. Not even remotely close to being satisfied because I was already ready to kill again, and I was also so happy with how quickly the next person I'm going to kill was presented to me.

Maybe Levi was onto something with believing in God or whoever, because I wished for more death, and it immediately came to me, wrapped up in the form of a bitch in a tacky dress. A whole coward too, I thought, letting out a laugh as I watched her try to run down the stairs.

I love it when they run. It makes it so much more satisfying when they realize they have absolutely nowhere else to go.

You're going to look so pretty when you bleed out, I said when I caught up to her, just in time to sink my knife into her stomach. That was for calling me a skank. This one is just for fun, I said before I stabbed her again. The anger caused by her words made me to stab her over and over again, after I took my time going down the stairs she had just fallen from. She was unconscious, probably from hitting her head, but I didn't really care. It didn't stop me from stabbing her still.

Serves you right, you fucking bitch. You deserve this, I said, always hating it when people tried to paint liking sex as a bad thing. Calling women skanks was bad enough but it was a million times worse when it came from a fellow woman, especially someone who doesn't even belong here in town. Wasn't she new? What right does she have to comment on things that don't even concern her?

You're fucking nobody and you'll die a fucking nobody, I spat out, about to stab her in the chest when I heard footsteps, causing me to narrow my eyes. I'll come back for her as soon as the coast is clear.

She's not going anywhere.

July 22, 2023 (a few minutes after midnight)

I messed up. I messed up. I messed up.

Iris had survived, according to the police officer, and she knew who I was. I couldn't even get to her now that she was on the way to the hospital.

Fucking Mei. Ruining my plans with that 911 call, causing the hallway and the stairs to be overrun with cops and medics.

I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. This was it. This was the end of the line for me.

Good.

The one word that snuck into my thoughts was jarring, shocking even me, but I think a part of me was relieved. I already knew I wasn't the same and I'd never go back to the person I used to be, and I had already thought of myself as someone with absolutely nothing and no one to lose, but this truly cemented it.

One way or another, I was going to leave this place either dead or found out. I preferred the former.

I'm going to have my fun first, though.

It was getting harder and harder to pretend to be drunk, but with the news of Levi's death and two additional injuries, nobody really paid me much attention as I tried looking for Kat.

I will not die or be arrested tonight without killing her first. After everything she put me through, she deserves to die. I'll deal with everyone else on my list later.

I lied through my teeth and said that I had a room somewhere so that I could get out of that stuffy ballroom, I ended up roaming around the halls, searching for Kat. What I found was Vera, though.

Eh, close enough.

Vera didn't like me solely because of Kat and for someone who consistently screamed that she was a strong, independent woman, she really needed to start thinking for herself.

Oh, you bitch, I thought when she bumped her shoulder against mine. I would have probably minded my business and passed up on her on my search for Kat, but just this one, small act of unnecessary aggression changed things.

No, actually, that's a lie. I've been itching to kill Vera too.

The only sound between them was when her keycard unlocked the door and the breathy laugh I let out as I wrapped the strap of her purse around her neck and pulled.

Bet you wish you didn't bump into me now, huh? I asked, deranged yet hushed laughter filling the air as I tightened the strap around her neck, wanting her to pass out.

I'm smart enough to know I wouldn't win in a fight against Vera, and who's going to stop me from making sure this fight wasn't fair?

The police? Please, I thought before letting out a yelp when Vera threw her body against mine, causing me to loosen my grip around the strap, but it didn't take too long before I had her pinned down, stabbing her in the shoulder, in the arm.

It's not enough. She deserves so much more.

I watched with glee as she started crawling away from me, and I took my time, knowing she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Another string of laughter could be heard as I realized where she was trying to go.

The balcony? Please, what was she going to do? Jump off it? Bleed to death in the bushes below?

You know, for some reason, I always thought you were smarter than this, but maybe that's just because you're best friends with two of the dumbest people I know, I said, right as I stabbed her in the back, the image of Vera's best friends, Kat and the other being Dante's baby mama, causing rage to run through me, making me pull on her hair to pin her down again before she could reach the balcony and ruin the fun I was having.

Stay down, you fucking bitch, I muttered as I stabbed her over and over and over again, laughing as I saw the tears in her eyes. Aww, are you going to cry, Vera? You're going to cry? I taunted her, the power of being the person responsible for this coursing through me and making me laugh again, before I heard footsteps. Again.

What the hell is up with people just roaming around these hallways? Didn't they know I have people to kill tonight?

Vera was already passed out, and the blood was already on my dress, so I decided to try and drag her to the opened hotel room, but the footsteps were getting closer and closer and I couldn't tell if it was just one person or two or three. I could handle killing one witness but three? Even I knew I couldn't handle that, and the realization caused me to drop Vera's body unceremoniously back on the floor, deciding to just wait out whoever this was before I go and make sure I killed Vera for good.

THE END

Levi really was onto something believing in a God because this felt like a blessing. The footsteps I heard belonged to none other than Kat, the one person I had been looking for in the first place.

Vera and Kat. Dead. Because of me.

Ooooooooh, this is perfect. This is exactly what I wanted.

I was still hiding out in Vera's room, but as soon as I saw Kat enter the room, I let out a cackle as I closed the door behind her, eyes boring into hers as I watched her back up to the wall.

You're not sorry, I spat out, disgust on my face before I tackled her down on the bed, the adrenaline and rage causing me to be a lot faster and stronger than ever. My hands wrapped themselves around Kat's throat, and I couldn't stop smiling. I wanted to draw this out. I wanted her to be in pain for as long as possible. I wanted her to look me in the eyes and know that she'll be dead because of me. That I did this to her.

I win, bitch, I thought as I grunted, tightening my hold around her neck, trying to flick her hands away from my face. I waited until Kat's hands were no longer clawing at her face, until I could see that she was turning blue before I sunk that knife deep in her stomach, exhaling deeply as euphoria coursed through me.

The sweet taste of revenge. The blood. The look in her eyes.

This is all I care about.

Save your fucking apologies, bitch. I don't want them, I said before I stabbed her again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

I didn't want to stop, the glee in being coated in her blood causing me to not even think about anything else. I didn't care about Vera outside this door, and the fact that people might have seen her at this point. I didn't care if people might hear the laughter from this room and walk in.

I didn't care.

I WIN.

Peals of laughter filled the air as I had the most fun I had tonight, just stabbing Kat everywhere I could, stabbing her more times than I stabbed Sawyer and Toby combined.

I'm not done. I'm never going to be done. I can do this for the rest of my life.

Why had I waited so long to do this? This was so, so, so fun. Hurting Kat was so fun. Killing Kat was so fun. Seeing her blood soak into the white hotel comforter and turning it red was so, so, so fun.

It took her a while to realize she wasn't alone in the room anymore, and the smile only widened when she saw who it was.

My Jakey, I thought, standing beside the bed as I watched him look at his girlfriend. His dead girlfriend.

Now it could be him and me. Together forever. Our happy ever after.

I still had to deal with his sisters, but this was really, really good progress. Kat was no longer in the picture and the proud smile was still on my lips, even as I dropped the knife on the floor.

My work tonight is done, I think.

My head tilted to the side as I watched Jake pick up the knife and stepped closer towards me, backing me up until I was against the wall. What--, I started to ask before I felt his hands wrapping themselves around my neck, cutting off my air.

Kinky.

Oh, I actually kind of like this.

It's only when he kept talking that I realized this wasn't going to be like what they did after Theo and Bianca. I don't understand.

Didn't he love me? Didn't he say it was always going to be us in the end? Wasn't he happy I did what I had to do so we could be happy together?

I couldn't even gasp as I felt the sharp knife -- my knife -- plunge into my chest. Jake pulled me by my hair and threw me on the ground, and I felt woozy from the lack of air. I could feel blood dripping from my chest, but none of it hurt as much as my heart was.

The same heart that yearned for Jake since we were younger. The same heart that wholeheartedly believed we were in this together?

I wanted to say no, I wanted to beg him to stop, but he stabbed me again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

I don't understand.

I was his, and he was hurting me. He wanted to kill me. As I felt every stab, all I wanted to do was sob and tell him he was the one who made me into this. I thought this was what he wanted. I thought he loved me.

Because I loved him. I still did.

Even as he towered over me and hurt me and betrayed me, I loved him.

I love Jake. I always will.

I could feel myself drifting away now, as I thought about everything in my life that had brought me to this one moment. Maybe this was how it was always meant to be. I'll always be the girl who loves a little too much, gives too much of herself away, to get absolutely nothing good back.

There's nothing left for me to give now, I thought as I looked into the eyes of the man I had sacrificed everything for.

All I ever wanted was to be loved. Didn't I deserve that?

Didn't Jake owe me that? Since my love for him had been the reason for everything I did? Since he's still someone I'd do anything for?

Too much. It's all too much. It hurts too much.

It's almost ironic, how being stabbed in the chest hurt a lot less than a consistently broken heart.

#( self para )#how tf did i write like 14k words in total im so tired

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kuronanox · 3 years

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Accept MY Love - Zenon Zogratis

(Authors note: First off I really wanted to say thank you to everyone that has stuck around and enjoy my book! I’ve reached 20k! I know it may not be a lot but I’ve enjoyed writing black clover and it’s always nice to have support! And second this is my first time writing Zenon so if he’s a little OC... mind ya business haha)

She was given to him as a toy, his servant, slave. She didn't want to be labeled or cared for it, all she wanted was an escape plan. She was weak, a girl picked off the streets for her looks as she was told.

(Your Name) was sitting hugging her knees staring out of the window. The pale snow falling onto the ground effortlessly. "Women." Zenon says from across the room but she refused to look at him. After a few more minutes he roughly grabs her face and she struggles to pull away. "Don't touch me!" She screams as he quietly loses patience with her.

Zenon strikes her right cheek as she gasp and fell to the floor. The blood spilling from her mouth as she looks up to him in fear. "You monster, just get rid of me already! Kill me if you must!"

"Clean yourself up and lay in bed." He says before walking out.

Sniffling she cleans the wounds and takes a bath, the warm water was welcoming especially since the snow had been falling all day.

Taking the only belonging shes had left which was a few clothing and a personal journal she set it hidden under the bed.

Zenon doesn't say a word as he calms his head a bit.

This women had the nerve to defy him and all he could do was snap her neck to end it all.

"It's time for bed." He tells her as she carefully walks into the bed before he stops her. "This isn't the attire I gave you."

A fear comes across her face as she backs away from him. Zenon roughly tears her clothing off, they fall one by one as she picks up the pieces. "These were all I had left of home." She whispers as he hands her something more revealing to wear.

"You are to obey me."

(Your Name) angrily looks up to Zenon and slaps him across the face. "This gives you a reason to kill me now."

Zenon darkly smiles to himself. Oh how he liked to torture her.

"Bedtime." Is all he says and drags her into the bed next to him.

Zenon happened to walk past her home when he saw her. She was shining in the snow and her beauty was mesmerizing.

Carrying the fire wood for some elderly she was smiling kindly to them. Zenon was surprised how gentle he was feeling. He hated it. Why did this women make this affect on him?

He wanted her... no he needed her. For what? He had yet decided but he got what he wanted.

The way she smiled and effortlessly showed kindness was something he could never do. Zenon wanted that from her. That's when he decided she was going to be his.

Zenon was one to rarely sleep these days, he wasn't known to having a women in his bed unlike his brother. The first few nights she refused to sleep so he had to knock her out. Looking at her reflection from the moon her weight had drop dangerously low. The cold wind blew into the room as she shivered and turned away from him.

His body moved unwilling from his mind as he covered her with more blankets.

Zenon craved love, he didn't know how to describe the feeling. To be cherish or a warmth that was never settled in him. He wanted that affection from her yet everything he asked of her she refused.

Tracing her hair to her shoulders he kissed it softly till he craved her body and bit down harshly.

(Your Name) yelled in pain as he held her body close to his. Removing his teeth from her shoulder the thick blood fell as he licked them away. The look in his eyes scared her. He was enjoying giving her the pain.

"You are tempting women." Zenon lustfully whispers as she throws the covers off and tries to find the closest exit.

"At this point I don't even care how I die."

(Your Name) looks towards the window and back at Zenon. She tries to run out the window to end her misery in this room of his. Zenon wouldn't allow it as he grabs her back knocking her out cold.

That night Zenon dreamed of them as they happily lived together and how she was happy with him. He dreamt that they were making love from the pureness of their hearts. How hot she felt around him and the ecstasy they both felt from the closeness of their bodies.

Until it turned into a nightmare of her blood running thick in his hands as she laid lifeless in his arms. Her cold eyes staring up at him, blaming him for her death. She was trapped.

Zenon wakes up in cold sweat as he looks around to find her sleeping soundlessly again next to him. She was uncharacteristically cuddled up next to his body for warmth.

The next morning there was food laid out for her but no sign of Zenon, this was the best part of the day for her. She was alone and not being watched like a hawk. (Your Name) chows down the food, she was starving. The only time she refused to eat was when he ordered her to.

(Your Name) was curious to why he picked her, his brother Dante had many beautiful women surrounding him. Everytime she hoped he would trash her out already but he refuses each time she brings it up or if Dante tells him his 'toy' was boring.

"There has to be a reason."

The door opens as he walks in and changes out to more comfortable clothes. (Your Name) avoids his eyes staring at her as she clears her throat and set the empty tray out the bedroom.

Walking back to the window seat she watches the snow fall again. There was nothing to do, no fun. Her family was gone and she wouldn't dare try to talk to Zenon like she knew him.

"Are you not happy?" He asks her making his way to the window as she softly laughs and grits her teeth.

With venom in her voice she says "clearly I'm a prisoner and there's nothing to do here."

Zenon gently grabs her head and kisses her neck softly from behind.

"Stop it." She whispers as he lightly sucks on the precious skin.

"What will make you happy."

Her eyes widen as she turns her head to look back at him, he was emotionless. The look of his eyes held no warmth or comfort. It was as if he lived everyday to die.

"I want to leave! I want to go home! I'm sure there's other girls who would rather be in my position!" She raises her voice to Zenon as it slightly cracks from fear.

"She wants to leave me, I can't understand why she is so unhappy? I give her food, shelter and all the attention but she refuses everything!"

Zenon eyes grew dangerously dark as he kicked the chair across the room and dragged her to the bed wrapping his hand around her neck. She protested the whole way.

"Do I not give you everything you need?" He asks in a low voice as she swallows the lump in her throat and he finally loosens the grip around her neck massaging her bruised hickey.

"I don't want everything Zenon." She whispers back with tears falling from her eyes.

He lets go and kisses her tears away as he leaves the room locking it behind him.

(Your Name) finally manages to pull herself together when he left the room, her hands were shaking from the anxiety she got from his close they were. Truthfully she was scared he was going to choke her to death. Even though she wanted him to kill her she didn't have the guts for it.

Zenon was with his other two siblings as they mocked him in his misery.

"I told you to get rid of her, she obviously a nuisance to you." Dante says with a smirk as he shakes his head in disappointment.

"Or she can be my toy and I can torture her till she's crying to just end her life." Vanica suggest with amusement in her voice.

Zenon mentally rolls his eyes at his siblings, he was always the different one from the three.

"Don't tell me she's already begged you to kill her." Dante smiles deviously at Zenon who doesn't usher a word but let his silence speak for itself.

"Ahaha brother you sure are a cruel one!" Vanica says licking her lips before leaving the two behind.

"So what are you going to do? I suggest throwing her out in the snow and let the starving dogs get her."

Zenon gives Dante a icy glare as he makes his leave. Going to his sibling for help was not the brightest idea.

Back in the room (Your Name) was laying in bed and reading a book that Zenon had in his shelfs. It wasn't completely boring, the story she was reading at least but being trapped was driving her crazy. He walks in as she tenses up a bit.

Sitting beside her on the bed she backs away from him slightly.

They stare at each other in silence as she turns towards her book once more.

"You can't leave." He tells her as she covers her face with the book. She wanted to avoid his sorrowful gaze.

"Why me?" She whispers as Zenon lowers the book from her face and traces her facial features.

"You are the most exquisite creature I've ever laid eyes on. I have been enchanted by such beauty. I mean no harm to you but you refuse to accept me."

She looks at him sadly and holds his face.

"I can't give you what you need, I am terrified by you, if I am to be the light of your life it is not a gift but chosen by the heart."

Zenon holds her hand on his face before giving it a light kiss.

"Your fate as been determine, if I let you go my siblings will kill you but if you stay with me here in this room I can give you the ever most love in the world."

(Your Name) eyes fell, the light shining in them were gone. Did she want to be set free but die in the hands of his siblings are be in his company till she accepted his love.

She felt disgusted with herself as she answered him.

"I'll stay with you."

With a shaky voice he pulls her into his embrace as she fought to keep her tears in and he devilishly smiles to himself.

#black clover #black clover oneshots #black clover x reader #black clover oneshot #black clover imagine #black clover images #black clover zenon #Zenon zogratis #yuki tabata

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