#so he plays the roles - even does them quite well - even if he struggles with what he things he's 'supposed' to be doing
Text
❤️🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️🩹
Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.
Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC
Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS
Previous chapter | Next chapter | Masterlist
Ch. 17: Emotions
Treatment isn’t easy for Yoongi. Dealing with the effects of withdrawal is one thing, but having to face his feelings head on is the hardest. He’s felt like quitting a number of times, but every evening he gets a message from Hyeri that reminds him why he’s doing this.
Hyeri had tried to limit her communication with Yoongi while he’s in treatment. She thought it was nice that they allowed him to keep his phone, but she had done a bit of online research and came to the conclusion that talking to him too much could do more harm than good. She keeps her messages down to a summary text at the end of each day. She does her best to only send positive messages. Nothing about her now daily conflicts with JJS, or how she’s been searching for a way out because they continue to treat her like she’s a troublesome burden. That stress she’s been carrying on her own.
For Yoongi, he only knows what Hyeri tells him. So in his mind she’s doing perfectly fine. She’s working hard and simply waiting for her next role. He’s happy that she’s doing well and it helps him relax more knowing he doesn’t have to worry about her.
Although he’s still allowed internet access he hasn’t spent much time looking at social media. He did once and he came across the ever vicious rumor mill spreading lies about Jimin owing a gambling debt to someone. It was so ridiculous that all he could do was laugh, but when he had his session with Minho the laugh turned to a cry.
Up until then he mostly spoke about Hyeri and himself in his sessions. That day he had to explore his feelings towards his members and that hurt him more. It was never a question whether he loves them, but he didn’t realize how much of their pain he put on himself. The rumors about Jimin were laughable, but Yoongi took it personal. He felt bad for Jimin being dragged through the mud for no reason and he felt helpless to do anything to protect him. Someone as sweet and selfless as Jimin doesn’t deserve that. None of the members do. After that, Minho suggested Yoongi stay away from socials and so he did.
Until today. While having lunch he found himself going down a rabbit hole that simply started with him trying to figure out the type of wood that was used in the construction of the cabin he’s staying in. After reading the history of log cabins around the world and the best wood for different climates, he saw a random Naver article at the bottom of the page he was on that caught his attention.
Rainbow heard arguing with manager, acting career over?
Laugh. He’s supposed to laugh these things off. He’s telling himself to laugh. He’s not laughing. He’s watching a video taken of Hyeri and he’s not laughing at all.
He knew not to click the article. He knew not to play the video someone candidly took from their cell phone. He knew better but did it anyway. The video shows Hyeri yelling at her manager in a rage. He hadn’t seen her like that with anyone other than him. The soft spoken Na Hyeri was unloading on her manager about the jobs she’s not being offered and how they keep lying to her about it. She mentions being forced to accept tiny roles for no money because they’re punishing her for telling the truth.
Last night, Hyeri had a shoot for what she was told was a commercial for a new perfume. What it turned out to be was a small budget shoot for an amateur made air freshener spray. When she learned that the shoot was unpaid, which they also lied about at first, she unleashed her rage towards her manager.
Hyeri thought they were alone. She asked to speak to her manager out back. She had no idea someone was standing by recording for some reason. Almost as soon as it happened, the video was everywhere. She’s horrified by the invasion of privacy and even more horrified that she once again finds herself the center of controversy.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she gets a message from Yoongi today asking her what’s going on and if she’s ok. Last night when she got home after the entire fiasco, she sent Yoongi her usual text telling him she had a small shoot and that was it. Now it seems he’s seen the news and she knows he’s not too happy about her not telling him about how bad things have gotten between her and JJS.
She admits that things have been rocky, but she didn’t feel it was anything she needed to worry him about. Of course now that he knows, it’s got him more worried than if she had told him from the start. Once more her silence has caused the exact thing she wanted to avoid.
Unconvinced that she’s ok, Yoongi decides to call Hyeri. Until now they’ve only texted each other. They both agreed that it would be best that way until he’s made it through the rough beginnings of his sobriety. Today he doesn’t care about that though. He needs to hear her voice to be sure she’s ok.
“You’re breaking the rules, Yoon-gya,” Hyeri chuckles when she answers.
“I think I deserve a pass this once,” he responds relieved to hear her voice and to hear that she doesn’t seem to be in any distress.
“You didn’t believe me when I said I was ok?” She jokes.
“You tend to lie about that a lot,” he chuckles.
“Look who’s talking,” she laughs softly.
It feels like nothing has changed but at the same time it feels the way it felt when their relationship was fresh and new. They talk about anything and giggle at how cute each other sounds for about an hour before Yoongi finally asks what he initially called her for.
“So are you going to tell me about the video?” He asks.
“I hate people always invading my privacy,” she huffs.
“What’s this about the roles you’ve been getting? I thought you were working on some commercials?”
“I was. It’s just that they’re small commercials. The small kind that don’t pay,” she admits with shame.
“Hyeri…”
“I know, but I tried to stand up for myself,” she says hoping for praise. “I finally told them how the way they’re treating me is bullshit. I found roles that I wanted to go for and they got upset about it.”
“I’m proud of you,” he says. He knows opposing anyone is hard for her. For her to stand up to JJS after she had been so complacent before is a big step. “You don’t even sound like you’ve been crying,” he jokes.
“I’m not the same Hyeri I used to be,” she chuckles. “But….” She trails off not finishing her sentence.
“But?”
“I’m still a little…scared I guess.” She didn’t want to admit to that. She doesn’t want him worried about her, but they had been having such a good talk that she was about to release her troubles to him out of habit. He’s her best friend and she had been holding her fears in since she couldn’t tell him. Now it’s out there and she knows he’ll try to pry every feeling out of her in an attempt to understand, comfort, and fix every issue.
“Scared of what?” He asks.
“Everything. Losing everything. JJS isn’t going to treat me right so I need to leave them, but then where can I go?”
“Have you been looking around?”
“Yeah, but what if I’m rejected by everyone? What if this is it for my acting career? I could go back to music but you know acting is my passion.”
“Baby, I’ve told you I can get you in contact with people. Anything you need. You don’t have to try to do this on your own.”
“But I can’t have you help me,” she sighs. “Not right now at least. You need to focus on you.”
“I’m doing fine. Let me know what company you want to go for and I can find a contact and get you in touch.”
“Yoongi stop.” This is exactly what she knew he would do and exactly why she didn’t want to say anything. “I mean it. I’m scared but I’m not completely helpless. Please focus on your recovery and don’t worry so much about me.”
“I know,” he groans. “It’s just hard when I’m away.”
“What’s going to convince you that I’m fine?”
“I don’t know,” he huffs. “If I could see you or…hold you…”
“I just need you to trust me. If I’m not ok I’ll let you know.”
“Will you?”
“Of course. I promise. I just need you to trust me. Trust me and keep taking care of yourself. Can you promise me that?” She pleas.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “I promise I’ll take care of myself. I promise I’ll be better so I can see you sooner. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. Don’t worry about me.”
“Can you at least promise me you won’t keep things from me anymore? I know you don’t want to worry me but I think I worry more when you don’t tell me what’s going on. Whether it’s good or bad, I just want to be able to support you.”
“I know. I promise, babe.”
“I love you so much, Bow.” She can’t tell but he’s suddenly holding back tears. Talking to her, hearing her voice is so calming to him. He misses her so much and though he knows this is for a better future, it still hurts to be separated from her.
“I love you too, Yoon-gya.”
Hyeri misses him just as much. Dealing with the stress JJS has had her under has been exceptionally difficult without Yoongi being there to comfort her when she feels overwhelmed. All she can do is ask herself what Yoongi would do. Every time she does she ends up in trouble or the talk of the town for a while. It’s not all bad though. She’s been walked over her whole life because she never felt like she had a voice and was afraid to speak up. Now she does and she feels good setting boundaries and fighting for herself. She fears for the future, but she at least knows she won’t let anyone walk all over her again.
Yoongi got an extra boost of motivation after talking to Hyeri. He was determined more than ever to return to her soon and healthy. He still worries about her, but hearing her voice and how she didn’t sound sad at all helped him feel better.
Minho has been helping a lot as well. Yoongi still has a long way to go, but Minho could always find a way to make Yoongi feel safe when he’s vulnerable. Each session he opens up more and he feels much lighter being able to talk about things he had been holding on to for a while.
His next session after talking to Hyeri, Yoongi is much more enthusiastic and bright. He tells Minho about their conversation and how he’s happy to be getting the help he needs so he can be the best for her, his members, and his fans. But especially Hyeri.
Only a week has passed since hearing Hyeri’s voice, but Yoongi feels like he’s made a lot of progress recently. He even sent a message in the group chat with the rest of the guys to tell them how he’s doing. He was optimistic and it was refreshing for the rest of the guys. They praised him for doing well and expressed how they can’t wait to see him again.
He’s in the middle of making himself dinner. Nothing special, just a simple pasta dish with a bit of steak. He found passion for cooking again and had been taking the time to cook each one of his meals. That’s just how motivated Hyeri made him.
He’s got his steak cooking in the pan and his pasta already in a bowl. Everything smells good and he feels great. To make things even better he gets a call from Hyeri. He hasn’t heard her voice since last week and he’s been dying to hear her again.
“Hey, babe,” he says when he answers.
“Hey,” she responds. “I wanted to call you because it would be easier than texting. I did it!” She shouts in excitement.
“Did what?” He asks confused but equally enthusiastic.
“I told JJS to go fuck themselves!” She giggles.
“You what?” He asks freezing in place.
“I’m done with them. I want to go for the lead in a super duper huge new series. It’s…maybe a bit ambitious,” she says shyly. “But I could at least audition but they tried to give me more bullshit about taking a break and being compliant so I told them to shove their compliance up their ass.”
“Wow,” he says in disbelief. She’s typically not the one to do such a thing, and certainly not when she hasn’t found another agency yet. “You really did that?”
“Yeah! I’m sick of them treating me like shit. I should’ve listened to you in the beginning and left them a long time ago.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what happens next, but I’m happy. They won’t stress me out any longer.”
“Baby, that’s incredible! I wish I could take you out to celebrate.”
“We’ll have plenty of time for that later,” she giggles. “I’m just happy to be free.”
“I’m happy too.” He pauses and thinks a moment before speaking again. “Are you at home?”
“Yeah,” she responds. “Of course I am, why?”
“I want to see you.”
“How? I mean you can’t.”
“Sure I can. I want to see you so let’s video call,” he suggests.
“What? I mean no, I think it’s too soon. We already broke the rule about not talking on the phone.”
“Just once,” he pleads. “Plus I want to show you the dinner I made.”
“I don’t know,” she hesitates.
“I’m switching to video,” he says not giving her a choice. He switches to video and waits for her to do the same. “Please,” he pleads again. “Just for a minute, baby.”
She gives in and turns the video on after rushing to try fixing herself up a bit. Her camera turns on and Yoongi can instantly see why she was reluctant to video chat.
“You’ve been crying?” He asks noticing how her eyes are just a slight bit puffy. Her attempt to hide under the shadows of the low lighting in the bedroom wasn’t enough to fool him.
“No,” she lies.
“Hyeri!” He fusses.
“I mean I’m a little scared, I told you that.”
“But you’ve been crying.”
He wants to protect her. He wants to hold her and make sure she never cries alone. He would fix all of her problems and wipe every tear. She knew he would feel this way and that’s why she didn’t want him to know she had been crying. His priority is her now and she doesn’t want it to be.
“Just a little,” she admits. “It’s a big step and the future is unknown, but I’m ok. I’ve got a few agencies that I’m looking into. Don’t worry about me, Yoon-gya, I’ve got this. I told you, I’m not the same Hyeri I was before.”
“You’re sure you’re ok?” He asks still not convinced.
“You’ll never believe me, will you?” She chuckles.
“No,” he smiles.
“What about you though? How are you doing?”
“I feel better each day. I feel better hearing your voice and seeing your face.”
“Therapy is good?”
“Yeah,” he boasts. “It’s going great.”
That’s the truth, Yoongi has been getting better each day. He makes progress in many different ways. However, every time he thinks he’s made progress in one area, something in an old but forgotten area pops up.
Hyeri has been happy with her choice. She isn’t getting work, but that’s all going to change once she signs with a new agency. Though that had been in limbo for a little while.
JJS decided they would sue Hyeri for breaking her contract. They want her to pay damages for not holding up her end, claiming she’s cost them lots of money. She’s terrified since she’s never been sued before, but she couldn’t stand by without countersuing for her own reasons. The lies and especially the unpaid roles they had her doing without telling her from the start that they would be unpaid.
Yoongi got Hyeri in contact with an attorney he knows and trusts. Hyeri was happy, because without company resources she didn’t know how she’d get an attorney. It’s all a mess, but they both feel optimistic. There’s plenty of proof that JJS were in the wrong so she hopes it will be an easy case.
Just because it seems like it’s an easy case, doesn’t mean it will be a quick one. While the case is ongoing, Hyeri managed to land a deal with a new agency about two weeks after telling JJS to shove it. She’s ecstatic and eager to get working again.
Yoongi feels good that she’s found a new company. He’s happy that she seems in good spirits despite how long her case is taking in court. He’s happy that she’s happy. He’s happy.
He’s outside laying on top of the picnic table staring into the sky. His jaw is tightly clinched and his ears are welled with tears that have rolled down the side of his face. He wants a drink so bad right now.
He was fine at first. He started his day with some fruit and iced coffee. He played on his keyboard that he had brought in so he could work on music. Then he went walking outside a little. During his walk his mind started wandering as it typically does. But for some reason his mind was on Hyeri. Not that that’s unusual, but the thoughts went from typical longing to pure anxiety.
He knows Hyeri is trying to stay strong, but he knows her too well to believe that she’s doing as ok as she says she is. He’s worried about her. Worried that she’s going to bed sad and alone every night. Worried that he’s been away too long. Worried that something else may happen to her and he won’t be there for her. He still has the image of her car accident in his mind and he still hasn’t fully forgiven himself. As a matter of fact, he hasn’t forgiven himself for anything.
When he talks to Minho it’s always productive. He’s forgiven Hyeri for the way she handled things with the dating rumors both times. He thought he forgave her before but realized he hadn’t. Thanks to Minho’s help, Yoongi has been able to move past that. He’s talked about other things since, but hadn’t quite realized that deep down he still hates himself.
He’s staring at the sky through his tears wishing he could just have one drink. Something small to take the edge off. He thought there had to be something in that house or even something the doctor may have left behind in the second cabin after he left. Nothing. Yoongi searched and searched and found nothing. Now he’s sad and irritated.
“Is that comfortable?” Minho asks approaching the table. He’s arrived for today’s session but didn’t expect to find Yoongi crying on the table.
Yoongi doesn’t move, he only sighs in more frustration because he didn’t realize what time it was. He didn’t realize he’d been on the table crying for 3 hours.
“What’s going on?” Minho asks softly.
Yoongi shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk. If he opens his mouth he won’t be able to speak through the sobs.
“Did something happen?”
Yoongi shakes his head again.
“Can you tell me what you’re feeling right now?”
Yoongi opens his mouth but no sound comes out. He doesn’t know how to describe what he’s feeling, he just knows he wants a drink.
“I-I…” Yoongi stutters. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “I can’t do this.”
“Why?” Minho asks.
“I let her down too much. I can’t go back home to her.”
“I thought you wanted to do this so you could be what you feel she deserves.”
“I do, I just…I’m going to find a way to fuck it up again. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves someone that will be by her side and take care of her. Not someone who will drink himself stupid and cheat on her.”
“Has she told you these things?”
“Come on,” Yoongi scoffs. “She’s not going to actually say something like that. She’d be too afraid to. Even if she hated me she wouldn’t hurt my feelings. I know that much, and that’s why she deserves better.”
“Are you wanting to end your relationship with her?” Minho asks placing a hand on Yoongi’s arm.
“No…I mean no…she…” Yoongi sputters.
“You think she deserves better, and you think you wouldn’t be it for her. That sounds like you want to at least end your romantic relationship with her, right?”
Yoongi lets out a pained wail and begins sobbing heavily. His chest is burning and it’s excruciating.
He just wants a damn drink.
#bts#bts au#bts fanfic#bts fic#cross posted on ao3#bts smut#angst#tw depression#bts fluff#tw alcoholism#bts angst#Yoongi#min yoongi#Suga#yoongi x oc#Suga x oc#yoongi au#suga au#yoongi angst#suga angst#yoongi fluff#suga fluff#yoongi fanfic#suga fanfic#yoongi smut#suga smut#yoongi fic#suga fic#established relationship#idol au
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ed AND Stede both mask and I wanna talk about it
I know the fandom talks A LOT about Ed being a chameleon, flipping his entire personality on a dime to fit into the current situation and company, to the point that he can't even really recognize when it's happened and how far he's gone.
But I wanna look at it with Stede too. He literally asks his crew in the very first episode to give him constructive criticism so he can change what he is doing to better serve them, but he cannot fathom behaving different on a personality level.
They both mask so heavily, but in different ways. Edward masks with his personality, whereas Stede masks with his actions. And it is absolutely because of where they came from before they meet each other.
-Edward's Mask and His Struggles-
Edward learned to survive as a lower-class, mixed-raced, son of a physically abusive father and indentured mother. When he became a pirate, his survival on the water hinged on performing in a way that pirates approve. It isn't the mainland where you're protected by certain laws, if pirates don't like you, they can just kill you. It's important to be liked on the water. So, being hard, being cruel, being Blackbeard, when the company was right, it allowed him safe passage to climb the ladder and build his legend. He succeeded with that carefully crafted persona entirely devoted to this job.
In contrast, he is allowed mistakes. He may mess up a bit, but we all like Blackbeard. If a raid goes bad, if he gets too drunk, if he acts a bit erratic, if he loses sight of it all, if he faces critique? He's fine. His crew are loyal to the persona he displays and they allow him room to be imperfect because of it.
He is allowed to make mistakes as long as he is good company.
He can put on the right face and say the right things until he goes into crisis because he doesn't know what to do with himself. Because everything is boring to him that he can't force himself to keep doing it any longer. He's so tired.
-Stede's Mask and His Struggles-
Stede learned to survive as a upper-class, white, son of an emotionally abusive father and, as fas as we can tell, complete lack of mother-figure. His entire life has hinged on doing the right things. It's the aristocratic society, he has responsibilities he simply does not have any choice in abandoning. And, as long as he does as he's supposed to, he cannot be harmed. So, he'll be bullied, he'll get married, he'll inherit his family's fortune, he'll father children, he does all the things he has to do to just hold his position in high society and survive in that sort of world. And he does it well enough.
In contrast, he cannot figure out his personality. He cannot master what is it he's suppose to be to make people like him. It's no matter though, he does his job so there's nothing anyone else can do about it. If he's annoying, if he's too soft, if he's dandy, if he's an outcast, if he's not like the other boys? He's fine. He's safe under the veil of a rich man in mainland high society.
He is allowed to be disliked as long as he does what he's supposed to.
He can follow the rules and do all the right things until he can't be Mr. Bonnet because day in and day out he's alienated in his own home. Because he's been trying to find a way to make himself fit with his family and he can't keep trying any more. He's so tired.
-What Their Masks do to Each Other-
So - while Ed comfortably slips between "Blackbeard", "The Mad Devil", "Ed", "Jeff the Accountant", "Captain", "Beardie*", "Edward Teach", "Eddie", "The Kraken" - Stede cannot understand how one files down parts of themselves to fit in different places, to constantly act like someone they're not. He has always been completely himself, even when it doesn't work.
And - while Stede is able to navigate being a family man, starting a pirate crew, inventing people positive management, accepting critique and adjusting to it, smiling in the face of his abusers, learning to stun and kill, understanding and using passive aggression, throwing a fuckery, learning to duel, starting a treasure hunt for Ed, promising to do things he's not sure he can handle - Ed doesn't get how someone just makes themselves do all these different things, half of them things they didn't want to do at all. He has always done as he's wanted, even when it gets risky.
Which is why is it so fascinating that these two forms of masking, the gap between their communication, is what leads them to hurt each other in the last episodes.
Ed tries to be what he thinks Stede wants him to be, throwing away the Blackbeard title and trying to settle down into complete softness... and Stede tries to do what he thinks Ed wants him to do, promises to follow his plan and run away to China despite his anxiety about his family... But these things aren't authentic to themselves.
Edward Teach is a little bit of every persona he wears and a little bit done with the pieces he has grown from. They are all a part of him. And Stede would love them all if Ed shared it. If he trusted him enough to let down the curtain and shake off the performance.
Stede wants to do so many things that he's never spoken of and doesn't want to do so many things he thinks he has to. He just wants to get to chose. And Ed would support him in whatever he wanted if Stede would just tell him how he feels. If he would just be honest and stop forcing himself to do things for other people.
They have both been trying to please each other with the tools they've mastered to please the worlds they came from, but they were effectively lying to each other in a hundred tiny ways. Because they loved each other so much, but they didn't believe they were good enough as they really were.
They thought they needed the masks to keep their lover's affections - But they need to put them down so they can truly see one another.
More OFMD
#Another post analyzing the effects of Ed and Stede's very different traumas and how it shaped them in opposite ways?#it's more likely than you think#They are BOTH autistic and they BOTH heavily mask through out the entire season#They follow different systems and have learned different rules to survive the worlds they were born in#But I only see people wanting to talk about Ed's masking WHEN STEDE DOES IT TOO AND IT'S EQUALLY AS INTERESTING#LEMME TALK ABOUT STEDE AND HOW HE WALKS THROUGH THE WORLD TRYING TO EARN PEOPLE'S APPROVAL TOO#So yeah - I just really wanted a chance to explore all the 'actions' Stede has done over the season#and how - in a lot of them - he is clearly uncomfortable but doesn't allow himself to say no or fight against it#And it's so clear that he just does things that are expected of him - even if he struggles in being the 'person' he's supposed to be#A lot of Stede's life just happens to him - he never had much of a choice in so many parts of it and that doesn't change at sea#And in the exact opposite position#Edward just throws himself into becoming every different person he thinks people want him to be - whether he likes it or not#He doesn't know how to be himself and risk letting people down when they see who that is#so he plays the roles - even does them quite well - even if he struggles with what he things he's 'supposed' to be doing#And he doesn't just 'get fixed' the second he meets Stede - he needs time to understand he's safe#I'm typing a lot of stuff tonight guys#didn't sleep - must keep analyzing OFMD#I'm in THE ZONE#Our Flag Means Death#Our Flag Means Death Spoilers#ofmd#ofmd spoilers#hbo#Stede Bonnet#Edward Teach#Gentleman Pirate#Blackbeard#blackbeard x stede#gentlebeard#blackbonnet
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nightwing's weird fem-coding
! LONG POST !
Finally got around to jotting down my thoughts on the weird way that Dick Grayson (Nightwing) often occupies female-coded roles without being a particularly feminine guy. This is entirely due to me procrastinating on my finals. Okay!
Dick has often been cited as the hero who plays into the "female gaze", and he takes up some key roles that are typically reserved for women characters.
A large portion of Dick's fem-coding is contingent on his being with his family, and when he's not with them, this fem-coding kinda drops away, such as when he's with his various teams or acting solo.
His most prominent (and imo, complex) femme-coded role is:
-> Eldest Daughter + Widow
Eldest daughter syndrome means " frequently feeling like you’re not doing enough, like you’re struggling to maintain a veneer of control, like the entire household relies on your diligence." It's born out of the unique way that first-born girls are expected to take on adult roles around the household before they've had an opportunity to fully experience childhood (an opportunity their younger siblings will have, in part due to this sacrifice). It creates a strong sense of independence and a desire to be a good role model, but also leads to undue pressure and perfectionism.
Dick acts as a central emotional pillar for those in his family. To the point that when he fakes his death, it breaks something fundamental in the family dynamic:
Not only is it repeatedly made clear that Bruce depends on Dick to act as a lifeline for his own mental struggles, but moreover, his siblings do as well. In a very literal sense, the maintenance of the batfamily rests on Dick's shoulders. Bruce is so rarely available for emotional support that these children turn to the next best thing, which, to be fair, is better than what Dick had growing up. He has to clean up so many breakdowns, it's honestly pretty staggering.
As the OG sidekick, Dick receives quite a bit of hero worship, particularly from younger heroes/sidekicks, who look toward him for guidance. As a naturally upbeat and welcoming person, Dick ends up in the position of bringing light to everyone, not just Bruce. For example, here's Cassandra:
This balancing effect is unique to Dick's skill set. However, this can (and does) backfire very easily. The same pragmatism Bruce engages in hurts extra bad when coming from Dick: like when Dick had to take Robin away from Tim. Not to mention just how intimidating Dick's legacy is, which can create resentment when his successors aren't able to play this role so easily. For example, Jason both before and after his death expressed insecurity that he felt he was constantly being compared to Dick, and falling short.
As the original character that people think of when they think "sidekick", DG Robin (and his successors) had the advantage of not losing prominence even as his contemporaries (Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, etc.) were de-prioritized in favor of independent teenaged heroes (like Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire). But that means Robin as a concept now has to deal with questions that weren't so prominent in the earlier decades, such as: "How do we justify a grown-ass man using a child (and in fact, children) as emotional crutches?"
It's icky to think about, but there's no denying that early Batman and Robin got side eyes for homosexual subtext. I mean, they literally call each other "partners". So while that "subtext" was, and remains, just audience speculation, given Dick is literally Bruce's adopted son, there is room, I believe, to call into question how healthy it is for Bruce's oldest kid to be taking on a nearly-parental role and be a core pillar of Bruce's emotional regulation.
Hot take here, but I think Dick's relationship with Bruce was/has been pretty emotionally incestuous for a long time.
-> Emotional incest
"Emotional incest[...] is a type of emotional abuse performed by a parent. In cases of emotional incest, parents rely on their children for significant emotional support, which is a reversal of roles. Emotional incest is more than just relying on your kids on occasion—rather, it is an extreme dependence on them." (There's a pretty good argument to be made that Bruce has been emotionally incestuous with all his Robins, especially Dick and DEFINITELY Tim, but y'know. Small steps.)
Emotional incest is a semi-common consequence of eldest daughter syndrome; the natural conclusion of deputizing a child to manage the other children combining with an inability to see the child as a child, still in need of emotional guidance, but more like an adult capable of shouldering the burdens of grown-ups dumping their traumas on them.
To be clear here, while emotional incest may not be incest in the most traditional, taboo sense, it is still abuse. It's putting a burden on a child they shouldn't have to carry, even for children that aren't dealing with such extreme burdens as "grown-ass man running around in a fursuit needs me to keep him from getting himself killed". It's a perversion of a healthy parent-child relationship, where the child is treated more like a partner than a child. In Dick's case, it further exacerbates the parentification he already experiences. This is made more explicit when Bruce "dies" and Dick is cast into a sort of "Widow" role.
Dick reluctantly dons the cowl in an attempt to bring order to his family members. He's also left to parent Damian, alone. He has to make the decision to take Robin from Tim, and try to deal with the fallout from that decision. He has to put a stop to Jason's fratricidal rampage. He's made into the de-facto head of the family.
And the thing about this is: Dick's not even bad at it. In comparison to Bruce's litany of disasters-in-parenting, Dick does a pretty bang-up job of managing his siblings, heading the Justice League, and being Batman. But the crucial point is that he does this at the expense of his own mental health, which is the crux of eldest daughter syndrome. There's no denying that at the time, Dick was most certainly the best choice for New Father Figure, but it was a choice he was pushed into, and a sacrifice he had to make. When this sense of responsibility to the point of self-sacrifice is pushed to its logical conclusion, it has the effect of making Dick a Martyr-type figure.
-> Protector/Mama Bear/Avenger
Dick has shown repeatedly that his hot button is his family. From Tony Zucco to allowing Blockbuster to be killed after the villain targeted Haley's Circus, going after Nightwing's family is a pretty good way to earn yourself an asskicking. Probably the most infamous example of this is when Dick thought the Joker had killed Tim, beating the clown to death to avenge both Tim and Jason.
And while this role isn't particularly feminine, I do think it's interesting that Dick protects his family members from each other with almost the same frequency that he protects them from outside threats. He's pretty notorious for wrangling Damian and Tim, foiling Jason's murder plans, and most importantly, beating the shit out of Bruce whenever he crosses a line, such as when Bruce asks Dick to conceal being alive from their family to join Spyral or when Bruce wanted to abandon the Bruce Wayne persona after the murder of Vesper Fairchild. Or of course, more recently after Bruce's latest MK-ULTRA shenanigans.
This basically puts Dick in the position of being the glue that holds the family together, at basically all times, but especially in times of conflict. This also means he's put in the dangerous position of bodily defending his younger siblings from Bruce's wrath or irresponsibility, a position made even more awkward given the whole emotional incest thing.
That's not to say that Dick's relationship with his family is 100% unhealthy. Dick and his family members (including Bruce!) feel legitimate affection and care for each other. There are times when the dynamics here are indeed healthy. And like most people with eldest daughter syndrome, the unhealthy nature of this dynamic is usually understated. Oldest sibling syndrome is often just an unavoidable consequence of how parenting works. So while I am of the opinion that this dynamic is often unhealthy, hot take: I'm fine with that.
Now, though I've just listed some tropes that he only falls into around family, Dick also falls into some fem-coding all the time, regardless of who he's with, and these have to do mostly with his sexuality.
-> Sexual Assault & Harassment
Yeah, so nobody is surprised that this is a factor. Look up any list of the top ten hottest/sexiest/most attractive male superheroes, I guarantee 9/10 times Nightwing is number 1. However, unlike his father, whose attractiveness is usually played as a part of the male wish-fulfillment fantasy, something people aspire to be, Dick's attractiveness more often makes him an object of desire- very similar to how most attractive female characters are perceived.
And as an object of desire, Dick Grayson is constantly having to deal with being objectified.
Now, Dick Grayson being an attractive character is not the problem. Dick Grayson being sexually assaulted isn't even the problem. the problem is that he keeps being harassed, assaulted, and raped in ways that are flagrantly nonconsensual, and yet it's not treated with the seriousness it deserves. In fact, it took a full decade for Devin Grayson to retract her previous statement and admit that yes, the rooftop scene with Catalina Flores was in fact rape, and it's never been acknowledged in-universe (though, comics have always been atrocious at calling out sexual abuse of all kinds, let alone that which targets men).
Hell, even when he in-universe calls it out, he's dismissed immediately and the story continues like nothing happened.
Like???
Dick's adult sexcapades (which were consensual and enthusiastic) have long contrasted with the numerous times he's been harassed; times in which he comes across as bored, exasperated, and even frustrated with his own attractiveness and the vulnerable position it often leaves him in.
This puts him in the rare (in comics) position of being a male character who consistently and near-exclusively has his sexual agency and boundaries violated by women - a position that authors uniformly refuse to examine despite writing him into it all the fucking time.
Other characters around him frequently make comments passing off this harassment and assault as a natural consequence of Dick's own attractiveness, making "jokes" that essentially amount to "I understand why someone would want to assault him". Which- UH?
There is also, of course, the unavoidable reality that as an acrobat and an aerialist, he receives a very specific type of sexual harassment
the nature of nightwing's fight style necessitates a type of tight-fitting suit that male heroes typically don't go for: an extremely slick suit with bare-minimum armour that again, makes him vulnerable in a way most male heroes aren't, but a style female heroes wear all the time, whether it makes sense for them or not. This of course then allows artists to draw attention to this fact by posing Nightwing in poses usually reserved for femme fatales:
And unlike the Hawkeye Initiative, these poses are (largely) unironic, and not played for jokes. Dick isn't arching his back or looking over his shoulder to poke fun at how female heroes are treated; he does so because the artist (clearly correctly) sincerely believed these poses would play into the unironic gaze of the audience, and also probably thought it was hot. It's the same line of thought artists use when posing femme fatales.
He's even been known to use his sexuality as a bargaining chip, much like more traditional Femme Fatales. In Batman and Harley Quinn (2017), he refers to sleeping with Harley Quinn after being kidnapped by her as one of "the things I do for Gotham", to which she responds "I'm taking that as a 'yes'." And that's uh- not how consent works.
And this particularly sucks because- HELLO? The opportunity to explore the very real and tragically underacknowledged phenomenon of sexual violence against men is literally invaluable, especially with such a prominent character. It's one thing to ignore that men face sexual violence, it's another, entirely more unforgivable thing to continuously and explicitly depict such scenarios and play them off as jokes or not as serious as they clearly are. But what did I expect from an industry that has never had a good track record on sexual violence anyway.
-> Queercoding?
There's also of course the fact that DC has been, as of late, dropping hints that Dick might be bisexual.
That on it's own doesn't mean anything, but when paired with the fact that DC has been angling toward giving Dick a similar playboy persona that Bruce has, just with men included, it's just very interesting.
(BTW: The likelihood DC actually commits to making Dick bi is, uh, not a lot, but if they're gonna stick with this weird closet stuff for a while, let's hope they do so in a way that doesn't make him sound like a cross between Donald Trump and Harry Styles next time? Please?)
Anyway, all of this is basically to say I am forever fascinated by the gender dynamics of Dick Grayson, likely due to the fact that I'm projecting all my eldest daughter traumas onto him, and that someone who's background is in Gender Studies needs to get on this shit if they haven't already. I just love this character sm.
#this ended up taking/being way longer than I thought it would#but its done now so i can stop procrastinating yayyyy#shut up somaya#batfam#dcu#dc universe#batfamily#batman#dick grayson#nightwing
663 notes
·
View notes
Text
Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hated
Someone recommended the documentary film, Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hated, from Netflix, in the notes to that post about JKR's holocaust denialism. It is so, so worth watching.
It's about the culture and people of the lgbtq+ communities in pre-WWII Germany - especially those who frequented the Eldorado club and/or were involved in the Institute for Sexology before the rise of Hitler - and what happened to them once the Nazis came to power.
It starts off as a really wonderful celebration of the sanctuary and sense of changing times and possibilities created by these wonderful, vibrant people. It includes footage of the first trans women to undergo gender-affirming surgery - three smiling trans women, in colour, from nearly 100 years ago. In some cases, there are even interviews with people who survived from that time.
Obviously, sadly, unforgiveably, it does not last. And the documentary tells you far more than I have ever heard before about what exactly happened to LGBTQ+ people over that period of time.
This includes not just gay men and trans women, but lesbians, poly, non-binary, and bisexual folk. And how this related to the Nazis' general philosophies.
It is crucial to understand that the reason terfism and fascism are such close buddies is that their gender ideology (hah! They actually have one) centres around a woman's role being to breed a pure, Aryan race. So they must only sleep with their husbands, they must not remove themselves from the breeding pool by sleeping with each other, and similarly men have a duty to sire children (if they are of good breeding stock), so sleeping with other men, spreading their 'seed' indescriminately, or taking on the characteristics associated with women - all that threatens the central Nazi thesis that they must create and protect the 'superior' race.
This is why transphobia is and always will be gender essentialism, sexism, and racism bundled up in a trench coat, waiting to spill out. Because of the Nazi roots.
But don't listen to me. If you have the spoons and it would not be too triggering for you, I really recommend watching it.
One of the interviewees, who was a teenager who was falling in love with another boy as the Nazis came to power, tells the story of how they became separated, and how he eventually learned his first love died of starvation in a concentration camp. I wanted to get the exact quote down, but Netflix started playing up when I paused it, so I will just say that he said the reason he wanted to be interviewed was for his lost love, Lumpi. So that Lumpi would be remembered.
For those of us who are able, I think we have a duty to learn about and remember those wonderful, lively people who went before us, and who were cruelly taken away.
The Nazis wanted to erase lgbtq+ people from history. And we can resist that. We can remember.
Obviously content warnings for Nazis, the holocaust, genocide, death, homophobia, transphobia, and footage from concentration camps. It is handled, in my opinion, very well, but may still be difficult to watch. And many of the interviews are in German, so disabled people like me who struggle with subtitles may find it quite draining. But you can pause and watch in chunks.
#eldorado#everything the nazis hated#nazis#lgbtq+ history#institute for sexology#lgbtq+#transgender#transphobia#homophobia#racism#holocause#jkr mention#holocaust denial#death#genocide
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
Baby Blues | Jake Seresin & Shy!Wifey
Opposites Attract Masterlist | Main Masterlist
✧ synopsis: Y/N has been struggling after the birth of her third baby, but Jake reminds her that its okay to not be okay. based off of a Black-ish episode.
✧ word count: 3.2k
✧ warnings: postpartum depression, breast feeding, overbearing parents, crying, cursing, mentions of miscarriage.
It felt like the day had been a whole year. There wasn’t ever a guide that helped parents navigate on how children would react to adding another one to the mix. Jake and Y/N thought that after having two perfect kids, adding in a third wouldn’t be that big of an issue. Alex was six, and Ella had just turned three when Eli was born. Sure, the whole birth of their newest son had been anything but ideal, but they thought that had everything figured out. Both Jake’s mom and Y/N’s mom had told them that the third baby was always a cakewalk.
But, Y/N was finding out that the third baby was not a cakewalk. Well, not for her anyway.
She had felt this before but couldn’t quite put a name to it. She remembered the feeling of anxiety as she’d sit and nurse her babies or whenever she’d pump. It was worse with Alex than it ever was with Ella, and Y/N liked to blame that one on the Navy for all the shit they put Jake through. But there was no reason to blame the Navy for what she was feeling. The anger, the self-loathing, the anxiety, the depression.
“Momma! Eli is crying again!” Ella shouted from the living room. Y/N sighed as she set down the paring knife in her hand as she was preparing the kids’ lunch.
“You go get him,” Jolene said, “I’ll take care of the lunch.”
“Thank you,” Y/N said to Jake’s mother before heading into the living room where the kids were. Alex was doing his best to try and soothe his baby brother when Y/N walked in. Alex had taken to the role of a big brother just as easily as he had the first time. Ella, however, had her moments and was still getting used to the fact that there was someone younger than her in the house.
“Oh my boy,” Y/N cooed as she picked up the five-month-old from Alex’s arms, “You must be hungry.”
“Does he want apple slices too?” Ella asked and Y/N chuckled.
“No, he can’t have apple slices yet. How about you two go play out in the backyard and I’ll come get you when lunch is ready?”
The older Seresin kids nodded and scampered outside. Y/N walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, angling herself so she could still see them outside. Jolene glanced up from the fruit she was cutting, watching as her daughter-in-law struggled with the hungry baby in her arms, getting him settled to feed. Jolene had decided to make an impromptu visit to come see her son and her grandkids. Not that Y/N minded having her here, but more than a couple of hours’ notice would’ve been nice. But, Jolene was an extra set of hands with the kids and Y/N wasn’t complaining.
“C’mon mister,” Y/N muttered as Eli kept moving his head and unlatching from her breast, “You’re hungry, I got what you need.” But Eli was not having it today and let out a soft grunt in annoyance. Y/N huffed and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, “Jolene, can you grab one of the bottles from the fridge please?”
Jolene hummed in acknowledgment and grabbed one of the already pumped-out bottles of milk. Eli had moments where he’d want to feed directly from Y/N or the bottle, and he let both his parents know, putting up a fight until he was satisfied. Jolene warmed up the bottle before handing it to Y/N, who adjusted Eli in her arms to receive the bottle. Jolene watched over Y/N’s shoulder as Eli’s crying ceased and he began to suckle on the bottle.
“There, look at him,” Jolene smiled at her grandbaby, “Stubborn like his father.”
“Yeah,” Y/N said plainly.
“What’s wrong, dear?”
“Nothing,” Y/N shook her head, “I just. . . I don’t even know why, but I just get kind of upset when he won’t feed from me. I know it’s not a bad thing but. . . With the first two I was an overproducer, when they weaned off, I ended up donating the milk I was still producing months after. But with Eli, I feel like I’m hardly making anything, but I know that’s not true,” Y/N let out a sigh and looked down at her baby, who’s eyes were half open, “It’s just a struggle, but I’m getting through it.”
All Jolene did was nod, and try her best to not have a skeptical look on her face. Things sure had changed in the world of motherhood since she had her kids. New research and science had developed and women were feeling more comfortable starting the conversation about how they felt after birth. Jolene had watched her eldest daughter, Andrea struggle to the first time she became a mom, and Jolene never quite understood it.
Once Eli was done eating, Y/N called her older kids to come in for lunch. She served them PB & Js with cut up fruit and veggies. Ella had managed to get grape jelly all over her face and Alex was not so sneakily handing Bucky carrots under the table. When the kids’ bellies were full, Y/N had them go lay down and take a rest while Eli took his nap. Alex was old enough to not need a full nap, but he’d go to his room and look through his books or play with his train set. Ella had started her nap in her room but somehow ended up curled next to Y/N, while Eli slept in his bassinet by Y/N’s bedside.
When Jake arrived home from his morning helping Rooster paint the nursery at his house, he was met with silence in the house, which was a rarity with three kids. He set his keys down in the bowl by the door and kicked his shoes off, before heading into the kitchen.
“Hey ma,” Jake greeted his mom with a kiss on her cheek as she sat at the kitchen table reading on her kindle.
“Hi sweetboy,” Jolene smiled, “How was your morning?”
“Good,” Jake said, opening the fridge and finding the plate of food that Y/N had made for him. He smiled at the sticky note and put it in his pocket, “Rooster insists on hanging up his Grateful Dead poster, but his wife said no way in hell, so it was a bit of a standoff.” Dragon could be one stubborn beast when she really put her mind to it, “How was yours? Kids good?”
“Yes,” Jolene nodded, “They are always good kids, Jake. They are all napping right now,” Jake nodded and took a bite of the sandwich Y/N had made, “How long has Y/N been. . . feeling off?”
Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he chewed the bread in his mouth and swallowed, “Well, she got diagnosed with postpartum depression a couple weeks ago and started a low dose antidepressant. She’s doing better, sees her doctor regularly, talks to a therapist when she needs to. Why?”
It was as if Jake had told his mother to fuck off, the look on Jolene’s face was one of pure shock and awe.
“She’s feeding my grandchild while on pills?” Jolene gasped.
Jake rolled his eyes, “It’s a low-dose antidepressant and it doesn’t pass onto her milk supply, her doctor and therapist told us both that. Eli is fine. And maybe instead of shaming her, you should be proud of her for taking charge of her mental health.”
Jake had been so proud of Y/N for speaking up and telling him that she needed help. He had watched as she struggled through the postpartum blues with Alex, and then a little bit with Ella. But with Eli, it seemed to have all gotten worse. Jake watched as the light slipped from his wife’s eyes and how she would cry every time Eli cried. He knew it was hard for her to speak up and tell her doctor what was wrong. It made her feel like she had failed somehow, but both Jake and her doctor told her that it would be okay, and that she was taking the steps in the right direction.
“What does she have to be depressed about?” Jolene asked, “She has three beautiful babies, a beautiful house, and a husband who has money,” She scoffed, “She has no reason to feel like that.”
“She also lost a baby.”
“Well,”
“I am not having this conversation with you,” Jake shook his head, and tossed his half-eaten sandwich in the garbage, “Your daughter-in-law is doing everything she can to be a good mother. There are worse things she could be doing than taking a ten-milligram pill once a day to help her.”
Jolene pursed her lips as her son left the kitchen. His feet carried him upstairs towards his bedroom, where he saw his sleeping wife and two youngest kids. Ella had starfished herself out on the bed, her little arm in Y/N’s face. Jake chuckled, that girl could take up a whole California king-sized bed if they would let her. He shredded off his khaki shorts, leaving him in just a t-shirt, and snuggled up behind his wife. Y/N stirred a bit at the feeling of an arm wrapping around her middle, but Jake pressed his lips to her shoulder, soothing her back to sleep.
— — —
They hardly ever went out anymore.
When they first started dating, Jake and Y/N would go on all sorts of dates. From movies to dinner, to dancing, to karaoke, to just getting in the car and picking a direction to go. That all changed when they had kids. But Jake found it important that they still tried to set aside one day every two weeks for them to go out on a date. It did them both some good to leave the kids with a sitter and have time to themselves. Sometimes, they’d even go drop the kids off at Y/N’s parents’ house so they could just have the house to themselves.
Tonight was their date night, and Jolene had so graciously volunteered to watch the kids for them. They had decided to just go downtown, enjoy the Marina and get fish tacos. Maybe, if Jake were feeling lucky, he’d get her to walk on the beach with him. Even though they had been married for a little more than half a decade, Jake still got that goofy boyish grin on his face whenever he thought about going on a date with his wife.
“Is this okay?” Y/N asked as she stepped out of her closet. Her outfit was simple; cute light wash capri jeans, with a navy blue striped shirt and a white jean jacket.
“Of course,” Jake smiled, standing up from the bed and walking over to her. He gently grabbed her face in both of his hands and brought her up for a kiss, “You could wear a garbage sack and still look amazing.”
Y/N giggled, and pecked his lips again, “You flatter me, Mr. Seresin.”
“All in a day’s work, Mrs. Seresin,” He kissed her again, before letting her go so she could finish getting ready.
Jolene was busy prepping the kitchen for dinner, which Jake was shocked she even knew how to make. His mother was a loving woman, but she had her parameters when it came to that love. She hardly ever cooked, they had hired people to do that for them. Jolene was primarily a baker, and would slave away baking pies, cakes, cookies, you name it for hours. Jake also didn’t know if his mother knew how to take care of an infant. He remembered the various nannies he had growing up who would take care of the new sibling for his mother.
Ella and Alex were set at the kitchen table coloring away, while Y/N was holding Eli in her arms. This was the first date night they had had since he was born. It was a terrifying thought to leave Eli alone for a couple of hours. Jake watched as Y/N’s eyes started to gloss over as she bounced Eli slightly. She knew she needed to go out and enjoy the fresh air and time alone with her husband, it was so hard to put her baby down.
“Sweets,” Jake said, placing his hand on her arm, “We should get going.”
Y/N nodded and swallowed back the tears ready to fall, “Okay.” Jolene was right there, ready to take Eli from Y/N’s arms. Y/N sucked in a breath and carefully handed the baby over to her, “Okay. He has two bottles ready to go in the fridge. He can have one in like fifteen minutes and one in about three hours, but I don’t think we’ll be out that long.”
“Take as long as you need,” Jolene smiled, “They’ll be just fine.”
Y/N nodded again and Jake ran his hands down her arms, “We should get going. Alex, Ella, come tell us goodbye.” The older Seresin kids jumped off their chairs and came sprinting to their parents, hugging them tightly and giving them a kiss on the cheek, “Be good for Gramma, alright?”
“Yes, mommy!” Alex said and hugged his mother again.
“Please call, if anything and I mean anything happens,” Y/N told Jolene.
“We will be okay. Enjoy your night, kids.”
Jake smiled at his wife and put his arm around her shoulders, directing her towards the front door. It took all the power in her body to not turn around and go back to get Eli. Jake could feel her trembling slightly under his arm, and planted a kiss on the side of her head. He helped her get into his truck, and buckled her in, kissing her lips.
“I’m proud of you,” He said and Y/N caressed his cheek with her thumb, “Let’s go get tacos. Bird Boy has been talking about these shrimp tacos for three weeks and I gotta try them before I lose my shit.” Y/N giggled and sat back in the seat. Jake shut her door and jogged around to the driver's seat.
— — —
Rooster had been right about the shrimp tacos, they were some of the best things Y/N had ever had in her life. The date had gone wonderful. They had gotten tacos from the truck that Rooster recommended, and then walked along the marina before settling on a spot on the beach. Jake had convinced her to walk along the shore when they were done eating, and he held her in his arms as the dark waves crashed against their ankles. Then they went to the Hard Deck, where Jake had a drink and Y/N a lemonade, both enjoying the silence of sitting next to one another in a booth before coming home.
Jolene stood up from the couch as the front door opened and her son walked in, his wife in tow behind him. She smiled at the happy looks on their faces.
“Welcome home,” She greeted, “Alex and Ella are in bed.”
Y/N nodded and walked over to Eli, who was asleep in the pack-in-play by the couch. She was surprised that he was even asleep, he usually fought to go down at night. She swore that he had his days and nights mixed up while he was in the womb, and it only proved to be right when he was born.
“He’s sleeping?” Y/N asked, running her finger over his cheek, “How did you do that?”
“Gave him a little something to eat,” Jolene shrugged, “Tell me, how was the date!”
Y/N let Jake fill his mother in on the date as she walked to the kitchen to update her feeding log. She grabbed the small notebook that was in the cabinet by all the bottles, and opened the fridge to see how much milk she had left bagged up. However, she was met with a much greater shock. Dropping the notebook, she grabbed the two bottles still in the fridge and marched into the living room, her heart beat in her ears.
“H-how come these are still full?” Y/N asked, interrupting their conversation and holding the bottles up to show Jolene.
“Oh, I gave him some formula you had in the pantry,” Jolene waved it off like it was the most okay thing in the world.
“W-what?” Y/N stuttered out, her chest becoming tight with tears, “H-he’s never had formula. I’m just breastfeeding right now.”
“Well, I thought that maybe your milk was the reason why he was so cranky and didn’t want to go to bed, you know with all the pills and stuff,” Jolene said, trying to justify what she had just done.
Y/N took a deep breath, and slammed the bottles down on the side table, “Are you kidding me? What the hell!?”
“Okay, you need to calm down,” Jolene said, holding her hands up in defense.
“No,” Y/N ran a hand through her hair, “I just. . . I put up with a lot of things you have done. I don’t say anything when you make fun of my parenting styles, or my hair, or my clothing, or the fact that I wouldn’t hire a nanny and you said I was ‘out of my damn mind’.”
“A nanny would be a big help,” Jolene chided and Y/N clenched her jaw. She sat down wordlessly on the couch and held her head in her hands.
“Ma,” Jake spoke up as he watched his wife leave the room, “You crossed a line. Y/N is right. You haven’t always been the nicest and she lets you get away with it. But this is too far.”
Jolene shook her head, “I fed my grandbaby, that’s all I did. Sorry, I won't let him starve and be pumped full of depressants.” Jake didn’t say anything as Jolene grabbed her purse from the coffee table and walked out the door towards her rental car in the driveway. He let out a sigh as he listened to the car pull out of the driveway and head down the street.
Jake walked over to the couch and sat down next to his wife. He put her hand on her knee and that's when the dam broke and sobs started pouring out of her mouth. Jake grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her closer to him, putting his lips on the crown of her head, and running his thumb over her pulse point. His green eyes looked over to where his sleeping baby was.
“I’m sorry,” Y/N said, pulling away from Jake and wiping her eyes, “I didn’t. . . She’s right, she didn’t let him-”
Jake shook his head and wrapped her arms around her, “She didn’t have the right to do that. She knew right from wrong and chose to do that wrong thing.” Y/N nodded her head, “What do you need me to do?”
“Can you just hold me? Please?” Y/N said meekly and Jake kissed her forehead again. He shifted them on the couch so he was laying down and her on top of him. Her cheek was pressed against his chest, listening to the soft thud of his heart.
✧ taglist form
✧ pinterest moodborad
taglist: @damrlova @shanimallina87 @phoenix1388 @mygyn
@cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines
@bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox
@atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell
@bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore
@angelbabyange @callsignharper @genius2050
#top gun#top gun fan fic#top gun fan fiction#top gun imagine#top gun maverick#top gun maverick fan fic#top gun maverick fan fiction#top gun maverick imagine#Jake seresin#Jake seresin x reader#Jake seresin x you#Jake seresin x y/n#Jake seresin fan fic#Jake seresin fan fiction#Jake seresin imagine#Jake hangman seresin#hangman seresin#hangman#hangman fan fic#hangman imagine#hangman fan fiction#hangman x reader#hangman x you#hangman x y/n#Jake seresin x shy!wifey#opposites attract things!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Cut Lawquane was absolutely a Commando
Ok, crazy theory time.
I think Cut Lawquane was a Commando, or least a Commander. But going with Commando for now. But I don't think he was a rank and file clone trooper.
All of the clone troopers i think should be shown as exceptionally trained, but Cut Lawquane showed incredible skill, even though we saw him compared to Rex the entire episode. Evidences are below:
A) Rex is both a Captain and one of the oldest of the CT's, but the entire time Cut acts as his equal and perhaps even elder. He doesn't talk quite down to Rex, but it reminds me of how people act when they're just a grade apart. Not like they know everything and the other knows nothing, but there is a definite difference between them. Also he instinctively recognizes Rex as a Captain, but is not phased by that at all.
B) He disables Rex, the Captain Rex, with a farming tool in zero seconds flat, and does it without hurting him.
C) He recognizes Commando droids, which are typically only used in special assignments. And he also knows that it takes a headshot to pierce their armor. On Rishi it was Captain Rex who recognized them and said they were brand new. So for Cut to already know exactly what they are, especially when he's been out of the war for months, at least implies he could have been on high stakes missions before right in the beginning of the war. Which is also why I'm leaning Commando instead of Commander, because it's more Commandos who go on missions while Commanders are still often with general forces.
D) He has a highly developed sense of individuality and creative thinking, which was encouraged more in the special forces than general troopers.
E) Cut also says, specifically, "everyone I cared about, my team, was gone." Commandos are specifically trained to work in groups of four as a cohesive team. additionally, with these commando units being so tightly knit, the feelings of complete loss could have played a large role in Cut's desertion.
F) Cut and Rex play a game of dejarik, and while the winner is not shown, by the end they're both down to the last piece, which shows that Cut is around Rex's level when it comes to strategy. And Rex is so good at strategy that Marshall Commander Cody, who the commanding officer of around 36,000 men, considered Rex to be one of the best they had in that regard. Not to mention that Cut is impressed with Rex too.
G) Cut has 3 blaster type weapons that are probably the weapons he had on him when he deserted: an older rifle, a blaster carbine, and a DC-17. Now, it makes sense for a farmer to own a rifle, and the blaster carbine is a general GAR blaster. but the DC-17 is the same blaster pistol that Rex uses, that we have only seen used by ARC Troopers, Captains, and Commanders.
H) This is probably the most obvious one of all, but Cut is an incredibly good fighter. Even our beloved ARC troopers Fives and Echo struggle to take on a few. Cut takes on 20 and lives (granted the droids are not top form but its still impressive). He makes three headshots in a row with his rifle in less than three seconds, and the next three kill shots are all headshots as well. he also throws a wooden rafter-beam off him (that might be dad-strength tho) and hits a metal droid with a wooden chair hard enough to break both of them. he also punched one of them in the face hard enough the droids eyes flashed red (and then slightly regretted it, but it didn't look like he broke his hand either).
I) Cut hadn't been fighting for at least several months, since he deserted almost right after Geonosis. so as incredible as his skills are, he had probably been even better before, so just think about that for a moment.
Edit: i forgot to put this in because it wasnt in The Deserter, but by bad batch he already has gray streaks and a receding hairline. guys an old teenager for sure
So, Cut is a highly trained and skilled fighter in both hand to hand combat and blaster combat, he's at least as old as Rex and is not intimidated by his rank at all, he was in a specific team and felt like everything had no meaning after they all died, he has the weapons of an officer, had seen enough of commando droids to recognize them and their weaknesses, is Rex's match in strategy and combat while being more independent.
All of this points to Cut being anything but a regular CT, and as far as I'm concerned he was absolutely a Commando.
262 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yandere Machi Komacine General Profile
Yandere! Machi Komacine x fem! reader
Tw: kidnapping, stalking, violence, decapitation, murder, slight infantilization/Machi thinks you're incapable but it's more frustrating than creepy, Machi has some emotional issues processing and she can't regulate her feelings well, mentions of assault, mentions of non-con, Chrollo plays a major role in your kidnapping because he's a nasty man, threats, explicit depictions of torture, fem reader, MDNI
I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!
WC: 10K
Shy
In general, Machi likes the idea of being a protector.
There’s something endearing about the idea of having a sweet little thing to call her own and to keep hers, and having a darling who isn’t as prone to interacting with others is ideal for her. It helps quell her possessiveness, acting as an additional comfort to know that they don’t willingly start interactions with most people.
Plus, this is helpful for her, specifically, because it means that her darling won’t be constantly trying to talk to her.
It’s not that Machi doesn’t want to speak with them – she does, desperately – but rather that it’s so difficult for her to be vulnerable that a darling that isn’t excessively talkative to strangers helps bar her from saying something embarrassing or weird or scary.
It helps calm her nerves, knowing that her darling is more withdrawn and struggles to effectively communicate with strangers, and in a lot of ways it makes Machi’s heart warm.
Because in some ways, they’re similar – Machi isn’t shy, per se, but she’s not the most talkative, and a darling who shares this trait is adorable to her, someone she wants to wrap up in her arms and keep protected from the world.
(And keep the world from seeing them, of course, but that doesn’t sound quite as poetic or romantic.)
She just likes the idea of a shier darling, not only because their easily flustered state in social situations is endearing, but also because it makes her job much, much easier.
Optimistic
In a lot of ways, Machi wants someone who is the opposite of her.
She needs someone who is soft, warm, fuzzy, and – above all else – not nearly as pessimistic as her.
Machi has good reason to be so negative – a tumultuous childhood coupled with a life of crime hardens a person and makes them expect the worst case scenario, but even she can admit that there’s something endearing about a darling who sees the world with rose colored glasses.
It’s refreshing, something she’s utterly unfamiliar with given her lifestyle and companions, but it’s sweet in a way.
Perhaps a bit naïve of them – something that makes Machi silently scold them for – but cute nonetheless.
It’s like her darling is a ray of sunshine, one she desperately needs to keep her from falling into a void of negative thoughts, death, and theft.
And really, it’s this trait above all else that prompts her infatuation to form – her darling is just so damn positive, always trying to make the best of situations, even to a degree of irritation.
It makes Machi want to throttle them, anger growing in her veins because they need to be more realistic about others’ intentions, if only for their own safety.
But it also makes her want to envelope them in the tightest hug, keeping them firmly against her chest and hearing their soft breaths and warm voice, her skin prickling pleasantly because it feels so good to have someone so happy in her arms.
It makes her happy, too – no easy feat.
Homebody
Similarly to her ideal darling being shy, Machi really likes the idea of a darling who isn’t constantly out on the town.
She has no inherent issues with women who like to club or party or even frequently go out for a meal or drinks with friends, but for her darling, a homebody is preferable.
It’s simply a matter of Machi feeling confident that her darling is being safe – if they’re at home, the chances of them being assaulted or killed or mugged is significantly lower, and it helps quell the constant paranoia that eats at her regarding her darling’s wellbeing.
It means they’ll probably be wrapped up in a warm blanket with their phone perched in their hands, or the TV on, or a good book holding their attention rather than meeting someone, potentially speaking with them, dancing with them, or – god forbid – touching them.
(It hurts her deeply to imagine someone touching her darling, of course, but there’s something worse about the idea of her darling touching someone else – a sense of foreboding and anger over their safety, of course, but also a sense of rejection, a feeling of deep-seated and buried insecurity washing over her.)
And this just makes life easier once she eventually steals them away; it’s much easier to mitigate any sort of escape attempt or desire to return to the outside world if her darling is naturally not especially eager to be in crowded spaces.
Besides, Machi doesn’t mind the idea of spending time at home with them – give her time, but eventually she’ll be more than happy to sit beside them on the couch, a few inches of space between her body and her darling’s, enjoying the quiet atmosphere and the feeling of simply being together.
It’s cheesy and cliché and she knows it, but she doesn’t care – her darling turns her into a sap anyways, so what’s another addition to that sentiment?
Capable
Of course, as Machi’s darling, you’d never, ever have to worry about any sort of personal care.
She’ll do absolutely everything for her beloved; she’s already got their favorite foods stocked in the cabinets (but only the healthier ones – her darling can’t be having too much sugar or salt, no matter how much they like it), enough menstrual supplies to last the rest of her darling’s life, and more blankets and fans than imaginable to keep her darling at a comfortable temperature and not overheat or freeze.
She likes the idea of taking care of her darling, and while they’ll never be able to escape this aspect of being the object of her affections, Machi does like the idea that her darling is somewhat able to take care of themselves.
She likes the idea that they aren’t utterly incapable, that they’re able to do the bare minimum to make sure they stay healthy and in reasonably good physical health, with minimal scratches and injuries marring their pretty skin.
It calms her slightly when she’s still initially just stalking them, her worries and anxieties calming slightly every time she sees them drinking water or stepping into the shower.
It just makes her feel good, and while she’ll still oversee all their care once they’re under her captivity, it almost makes a small swell of pride bloom in her chest because yes, they know how to take care of themselves, and yes, that’s wildly attractive to her.
A capable darling is her ideal – and likely a major part of what attracts her to her darling in the first place.
GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:
Distant
In general, Machi has an incredibly difficult time being vulnerable.
She’s grown up under the impression that to show any sort of love or softness is a weakness, something that can be exploited and will ultimately be her downfall. It’s led to her being closed off, holding her emotions so close to her chest that sometimes she doesn’t even realize what she’s feeling, becoming so blinded by the need to hide her emotions that they almost disappear.
And where romance is concerned is certainly no different – though, there’s certainly no way to mistake or miss the emotions you spark within her, coming up and rising up the back of her throat and demanding her attention all the fucking time.
She’s completely floored by how intensely you make her feel, how fast her heart races around you, how her palms grow sweaty and her nen spikes ever so slightly in your presence, and to be honest Machi hates it at first. She hates how weak you make her feel, how her every sense is heightened the second you walk into a room, and while she knows it’s stupid to blame you for the way her body just seems to react to you, she can’t help it.
She’s never been the best at displaying emotion or really even reconciling how she feels at any given moment, and for a long time she pushes off her feelings for you, playing them off as nothing more than a passing interest, a few ‘she’s cute and that’s it’s being pounded into her mind.
(All the while she tries to ignore the way she wants nothing more than to make you laugh and smile, to see your eyes light up and hear that lovely chiming voice you have directed solely at her.)
(The whole time she’s trying to pretend like her eyes don’t automatically wander to you, focusing in on your hair, face, figure, and oh, when you wear that certain top with the low neckline… It’s embarrassing how strongly such a simple article of clothing can affect her, and it’ll often make her huff and desperately try to stop staring, glaring at anyone nearby just as a distraction from her racing heart and pink cheeks.)
And even once she eventually realizes that repressing those urges and emotions for you only make them stronger, she does no better at letting herself really succumb to them – she’s fighting tooth and nail, terrified of the way you make her feel, of the depth and intensity of the feelings that you give her without you even trying.
She’s honestly afraid of herself in moments where her desire for you grows stronger – every part of herself seems foreign once you step into the picture, even her most basic emotional responses to things like blankets (would you like this blanket? It’s soft, and she knows you like the color – you’d look stupid all wrapped up in it, though. Stupid. Cute. But stupid.), or even frying pans (would you let her cook for you? She’s decently talented in the kitchen, and while she’d be too embaressed to watch you eat something she herself made you, the pride that would swell in her chest makes looking at the nice, black, shiny frying pan in the store a little flustering.)
She’s afraid of her urges to care for you and protect you because you’re so fucking weak compared to her. She’s never been this nice before, this caring or genuinely invested in the wellbeing of someone outside of possibly Chrollo or a few other members of the Troupe, and the realization that hits her late one night as she’s staring aimlessly up at the ceiling (her mind running in circles around you as it so often does) startled her to her very core.
You bring out the side of Machi that she’d buried down so many years ago, that was only alive when she was very young, stupidly foolish and naively willing to hope against hope that someday she’d find someone to love, someone to be happy with and live a full, perfect life.
You make a piece of her that’s long been lost return, and once she understands that she has to face this new part of her head on, that she can’t keep turning a blind eye because it’s literally killing her to not give into the urges and feelings this new part of her is impressing, Machi is pulling back even further, trying to wade through the thick waters of her own feelings and wants.
And poor, poor you will be left to wonder why she always seems so angry, why she always seems to be glaring at you, one step away from killing you. She must hate you, you rationalize, and when you begin trying to act more colloquial and not as friendly or sweet as before, it’ll only further Machi’s confusion and the swirling of emotions brewing inside her.
It will only further her internal battle about whether it’s okay to let herself be vulnerable (as long as it’s for you, there’s a large part of Machi that thinks she could be anything and everything so long as it makes you happy), or only further her distant behavior.
It’s a miscommunication that Machi isn’t sure how to fix, and while she’ll eventually grow warmer towards you, let herself get more and more vulnerable around you, it’s a slow process – one that can only happen in the context of her being around you constantly, something that sounds simultaneously terrifying and wonderful beyond belief.
Selfless
Despite her internal wavering on whether it’s really okay to embrace the sick dependency she’s developed on you and against everything she’s ever tried to be, there is one thing that Machi is absolutely sure about.
That is, she will be making sure that you live the easiest life you possibly can.
She genuinely cares about you, and Machi is fiercely protective of the very few that she holds near and dear to her heart – and you, being the one who very much holds her heart, become the apple of her eye, her main focus in her day-to-day life outside of Troupe work.
She knows that as a member of the Troupe, she’s putting you in danger simply by existing in your presence, and with her feelings towards you being so strong, so painfully obvious?
Well, it’s a worry constantly eating at the back of her mind that someday you’ll be used against her, that you’ll be leverage or that someone will hurt you (or, god forbid kill you) just to get back at her and the rest of the organization.
There’s a constant sense of paranoia Machi feels when she thinks about all of the horrible, unforgiveable acts she’s committed, because while her conscience doesn’t harbor any guilt, she does harbor guilt towards you, because she’s now made you a target. She’s effectively placed a bulls eye on your back, and while it may be difficult for everyday strangers to tell that Machi harbors feelings for you, those committed to the downfall of the organization will be able to tell.
(Her longing looks and the way her nen gets a bit unpredictable around you are dead giveaways – you don’t notice, bless sweet little you, but the Hunter that’s been trailing the Troupe’s activities for the last few months will. And despite all the moral high ground the Hunters seem to tout about having, Machi knows for a fact that your death would be a welcome sacrifice in order to hurt the Spider.)
She’s painfully aware of all your flaws in terms of defending yourself in the position she’s placed you in, and the thought honest to god terrifies Machi. The guilt at knowing you’re constantly in danger because of her is almost too much to bear, and the only way she can help alleviate some of it is by becoming your guardian angel of sorts.
(It’s ironic, truly, and it’s something that she would rather die than admit, but despite her criminal status she’s actually a good force for you – at least, she hopes so.)
She does a lot for you behind your back.
Some are large favors, things that take up a decent amount of her time and effort, but she doesn’t mind because it’s for you.
(That group of men who’d been eyeing you up on your walk home from the subway station? Well, they aren’t exactly smart, are they, when they so blindly and naively follow Machi into a dark alleyway, their leering gazes and hands poised to grope making their deaths a much slower and more painful process than she’d normally bother with. After all, she knows exactly what they were planning on doing; the crude whistling and licking of their lips not hiding their intentions especially well. And although she’d never touch you without your eager consent – and perhaps not even then – she’s well aware of their intentions because she wants to touch you and fuck that cute cunt of yours, too.)
Some are smaller favors, things that aren’t too big of a deal but make Machi feel better about endangering your life, because at least she’s trying to better it, too.
(It takes hardly any time or effort at all to slip a vitamin or two into your drinks or food, just because she’s noticed you’ve looked a bit more tired these last few days, that there’s bags starting to form under your eyes, and how could she possibly live with herself if you were being neglected under her care? Besides, she knows you wouldn’t go out and buy these things for yourself – or at least not with the consistency you really should have.)
You likely won’t notice anything at first – Machi is a part of the Troupe for a reason, and though she doesn’t possess Shizuku’s abilities, she’s most definitely able to not leave a trace. So by the time you start noticing how there seems to be a steady supply of vegetables in your refrigerator that you don’t remember buying (only your favorites, of course), or when your bottles of shampoo and conditioner never seem to run out, Machi will have already been at her job of making sure that you’re well taken care of for months.
She doesn’t particularly want you to know that she’s the one so diligently taking care of you, if only because she’s still so afraid of the intensity of her feelings for you, and she’s scared that if you were to know how deeply she feels for you, how much she absolutely fucking loves you, you would run for it and never step foot in her life again.
You would reject her, something that she’s never had to face in her life, and something she hopes she never will have to – especially not from you.
She doesn’t want you to have any inkling for the way that she feels for you, at least rationally.
(Internally, however, she can’t deny how wonderful it would be to have you safe and sound in a shared home with her, protected and well fed, happy and comfortable and being oh so cute while you greet her at the door, welcoming her home from work and telling her how much you love her… It’s a guilty pleasure thought, one that often hits her as she goes about getting her hands dirty all for you, and as she stares at the lifeless corpse of the man who’d made a joke that he’d ‘hit that’ in regards to you to his friends, she can’t help but smile a bit.)
You make her happy – nervous, yes, and paranoid, true, but also this warm, burrowing feeling she knows is happiness. It’s a foreign thing that she isn’t completely sure she’ll ever get used to, but fuck it all if she doesn’t want to try.
So really, isn’t it only fair that she gives you something in return for everything you give her, even if you don’t know it?
Possessive
Despite the cloudiness that rests in Machi’s mind about how exactly she feels about you, one thing she is sure about is the anger that flares up in her chest when she thinks of another person interacting with you.
There’s something about the idea that makes her jaw get tight, her teeth pushing tightly together and her shoulders getting stiff because you should not be speaking with someone else.
She loves you in her own twisted, obsessive way, but in many ways Machi finds you irritating. You’re weak, you’re naïve, and god, how can you take your own safety and health so casually?
You’re incapable, if she’s being honest, because you’re simply unaware of how truly cruel the world can be. You live in your own glass cage, under the false assumption that the glass will never crack or splinter, that nothing will ever hurt you or affect you in a negative way – and while Machi takes as many precautions to keep this fantasy alive, it doesn’t negate the fact that you’re wrong.
You think you’re safe, sure, but you really need her, don’t you? If it wasn’t for her, you’d probably be dead by now, either by some wayward criminal, a magical beast, a Hunter, an accident, a stranger with nefarious intentions, or your own stupidity.
It’s cynical and mean and frankly not true, but Machi firmly believes that the only thing standing between you and certain death is herself. And while she still doesn’t want you to be aware that she’s the one protecting you and keeping you safe and healthy, she does start to grow a bit antsy when other people enter the picture.
In her perfect world, she would simply be caring for you and taking care of you from the shadows for the rest of your lives – your silent savior, content with the knowledge that you need her, and being needed is enough for her. At least, she thinks so.
But the world isn’t perfect, and you aren’t aware of her feelings – so of course, there are people who try to take advantage of your kindness, of your beauty and charity and naivety.
And when this happens, Machi finds herself very, very upset. Jealousy roils deep within her, making her fists clench and her eye twitch and narrow. It makes her nen spike and her aura become oppressive, her rage struggling to stay under control when she sees anyone looking at you, speaking with you, or just being near you.
It’s about your safety, more than anything – she does genuinely fear that every person you interact with has bad intentions towards you, and that in itself is neither particular delusional nor particularly surprising. Surely some of them want something more than just a polite greeting from you – hell, Machi’s been pursued by more men than she can count that most definitely wanted more and weren’t afraid to force what they wanted.
But can Machi really be blamed for being possessive over you? She’s grown up with absolutely nothing to her name – scavenging for food, living in dismal conditions, dealing with very real adult issues, and surviving against terrible odds. She’s turned towards the path of power and materialistic gain, and while she doesn’t explicitly see herself as owning you, there’s a certain allure to the idea of calling you hers.
You’re her partner – her woman, hers to care for, hers to love, hers hers hers.
And so yes, it’s about your safety, and yes, it’s understandable why she would grow attached to you in response to her origins, but there’s also a small part of her that grows horribly jealous every time someone interacts with you because it’s them, not her.
How come they have the confidence to speak with you, but she doesn’t?
(Of course, she’s interacted with you a few times before – back when her obsession had taken root, the very interactions that led her to her current state – but it’s different when it’s purposeful interaction, when she’s looking at you and your attention is on her. Why is it so hard to speak to you? Why do you make her so nervous, her fingers not visibly shaking but still having the same affect? Why do her words always sound harsh, demanding, blunt when she’s speaking with you, not a hint of the warmth or longing she feels for you? Why do you always seem to jump a bit and sheepishly nod at her commands, looking terrified and anxious and scared? Why can’t she just talk to you like normal, dammit?
How come they can so casually get you to laugh, but she can’t?
(She’s never been funny, even when she’s not feeling like her tongue is swelled up and her heart is on fire. She tries so hard to keep her cool around you and not give away anything about how she’s feeling for you, and that doesn’t exactly translate into being funny. And yet, she does find herself wishing that she’d thought of the joke the stranger on the bus had told you about the weather this morning, because while it was stupid and you’d only laughed a polite amount, why won’t you do that for her?)
How come they can so easily and organically reach out to brush your cheek or tap your arm, but she can’t?
(She’s petrified of touching you, despite wanting to so badly, and the most you’ll get from her for a long, long time is just quick, phantom touches of her fingers against your clothed back when you’re busy doing something, her skin barely even brushing the fabric of your shirt. It’s just too hard, too scary to let herself be in a position where you could reject something as intimate and loving as a touch – it leaves her too vulnerable, so what does she do? Repress it.)
It's a certain amount of insecurity that fuels her possessiveness, which simultaneously frustrates and scares her. She’s never been unconfident – she can kill dozens of fully grown men in mere seconds, can heal impossible wounds, and is an integral member of an elite criminal organization.
But you – you make her insecure. And it’s stupid and makes her scoff and cross her arms, but she can’t deny it. Despite her numerous, numerous attempts.
So really, Machi’s possessiveness is not to be overlooked – whether it’s paranoia, greed, or insecurity fueling it, it can have disastrous consequences. She will kill those she feels threatened by, and she does not care if that person holds value to you.
She’s your guardian angel, sure, but some angels fall – whether from heaven or for you is arbitrary.
DEALING WITH RIVALS:
Her jealousy is nothing to sneeze at, despite the fact that she isn’t as obvious and in your face as some of her fellow Troupemates.
She won’t yell and punch like Phinks, nor will she threaten and coddle like Nobunaga. Rather, she’ll let her jealousy simmer, slowly growing stronger and stronger, making her feel hotter and hotter until she explodes, unable to take another second of you being looked at by another person.
And so while Machi generally is of the mindset of ‘if it doesn’t involve me, then I don’t care’, where you’re concerned her entire philosophy is uprooted, if only because she absolutely believes that everything involving you involves her as well.
It’s her duty as your protector, as your loving partner – even if you aren’t aware – and she intends to hold up her end of the deal, to make sure that no one and nothing can ever touch you or harm you.
And so, she takes every precaution she can to make sure that no one ever gets to chance to spark her jealousy.
She watches each and every interaction of yours that she possibly can, often trailing behind you with those sharp eyes alternating between staring at you and sizing up all the people around you to catch anyone in their tracks who may cause problems.
(Shalnark had been quite generous in giving Machi a specially designed tracker just for you, already calibrated to your minimal nen aura so that it would stay true to you no matter where you went. She’d been grateful, though the blond hadn’t let her get away without a bit of teasing about how oooh, you’ve got a crush, don’t you Machi! She’s embarrassed to admit that she very faintly blushed at his words, swatting him down with a roll of her eyes and hissed fuck off, but the excitement of having a way to know where you are at all times even during Troupe work outweighed the irritation coursing through her veins).
She’s using her nen threads to keep your clothing in place while you’re out and about – making sure your skirt stays put or your top stays up, anything and everything to make sure that not a sliver of skin is shown to the prying eyes of those around you.
(Of course, a small part of her wishes your skirt would flip just a bit or the top of your areola would be just barely visible, if only for her viewing pleasure, but it’s more important that the men you walk by on the street don’t see anything. Much more important.)
She just feels responsible to make sure that you don’t have any negative contact with anyone (though ideally there’d be no contact of any kind, including positive), and she takes her duties very seriously, even going so far as to spend nearly every waking moment she has outside of Troupe work a good ten feet behind you, her eyes fixed on you like prey.
And after all, isn’t that a little representative of your relationship? You, the naïve, cute little thing being stalked and followed and wanted by something bigger, stronger, more dangerous and much, much more adept at simply taking what they want.
When she spots the man chatting you up in the local park you’d been walking through as a means to clear your head, immediately her nen is spiking up, her eyes narrowing as she stays hidden behind a nearby tree and watches the two of you speak.
He’s nothing special by any counts – generic, a simple pair of shorts and a t-shirt appropriate for the hot summer weather. His face is fine, all things considered, but there’s nothing particularly special about him – you wouldn’t look twice, she’s sure.
Except, you must have looked twice, because he’s standing in front of you, that irritating, ugly smile plastered on his face that makes her own lips tug into a deep frown, her teeth clenched tightly together.
And on top of that, you don’t seem to be mad at all. In fact, she can see the smile on your own face – much, much prettier, endearing, beautiful, something that momentarily traps her focus.
She’s not sure why you’re acting so happy – what could possibly be that funny about the terrible jokes this stranger is telling you?
What could this boring, useless waste of space be to you that makes you grin like you’re the happiest woman on Earth?
(Why didn’t you look like that when she first randomly met you on the street? Was this man better?)
Machi doesn’t get it, but she knows that it’s making her more than a little upset - more than a little pissed, really, as the man takes a small step forward, beginning to close the space between the two of you.
Her eye twitches as she watches you make no move to step back, and though her heart sinks like a stone when she realizes that maybe you want him to be that close to you, she briefly shakes her head, pink hair whipping her in the face as she wills herself to concentrate, to have enough patience to wait until you’re done talking to do what her fingers are aching for.
It’s torture, simply watching this interaction play out, her whole body begging for her to move and every muscle tensing in anticipation of physically breaking up your conversation, but she wills herself to stay put, closing her eyes and taking a few deep, unsteady breaths through her nose.
Fantasies and thoughts of how she could end the man’s life flash through her mind, helping kill a bit of time.
And the second that you walk off, throwing a small smile the man’s way along with a shy little wave that Machi would give fucking anything to be aimed at her, she’s making her move.
The man smirks and tucks his hands into his pocket, looking thoroughly pleased with himself as Machi murmurs curses under her breath, promises of death and words of hate tumbling past her lips as she tracks the man down past a bundle of trees on the opposite side of the park, well hidden from the view of the other patrons and – most importantly – yourself.
Once the man steps into the little forest and leans against a tree, she’s springing into action, her movements so quick that even she herself is shocked.
She charges at the man and has him tied up in less than three seconds flat, her hand placed firmly over the man’s mouth with a glare harsh enough to paralyze directed right into his brown eyes. Her aura’s crushing, the man’s body physically pushed against the tree hard enough to leave a slight dent in the bark.
His whimpers of pain make something in her gut twist pleasantly.
You’re disgusting, she growls, threads tightening more and more as she lets her anger begin to consume her.
Flashes of the way you’d smiled and laughed at the man come rushing through her mind, fueling the rage and hurt simmering in her chest.
Disgusting, worthless, don’t you know that some girls don’t want you? Couldn’t you see that she’s too fucking perfect for someone like you?
She knows she’s probably talking more than she should, more than this man deserves, but there’s something about the look of pure terror in the man’s eyes and the way he struggles against her threads that makes the blood rush to her head.
When he doesn’t respond, only wiggling harder and harder, Machi only clicks her tongue and, with a flick of her wrist, tightens the thread around the man’s neck enough that it slices it clean off.
The dull thump of his head landing on the ground next to her has her wiping her hands against her tunic in irritation, a small amount of his blood having sprayed onto her pale fingers, but she can’t deny the satisfaction of seeing the man who was so openly flirting with you dead and bloody now – just as he should be, for ever thinking he’d have a chance at getting at you while Machi’s around.
She gives a firm kick to the man’s groin, now slumped down onto the ground alongside the rest of his decapitated body, before spitting onto it.
And so, after shooting a quick text to Shizuku to ask her to come clean up a body (Shizuku’s response of why would I do that? had the pink haired girl rolling her eyes), Machi makes quick work of locating you via the tracker, making sure to follow you home and ensure that no other creeps try anything with you, lest they meet the fate of Machi and Blinky.
Chrollo can scold her all he wants for the body she leaves behind – it’s worth it, the satisfaction simmering in her veins making her feet carry herself faster and faster, the tracker slowly beeping faster as she gets closer to you.
TAKING HER DARLING AWAY:
In most regards, Machi values the idea of you being your own, semi-independent person.
She does a whole hell of a lot for you in the shadows, but she isn’t particularly fixated on stealing you away or kidnapping you. Part of the reason why she fell for you in the first place was because of who you are, and there’s a worry eating at the back of her mind that if she were to force you into a relationship or take you away from your life, you would no longer be the person she’s come to love, the person she’s come to live solely for.
It’s scary, the concept that you could just be gone, that her selfishness could be the reason why the glimmer in your eyes fades, or why you no longer smile and laugh so hard you snort a bit.
So while the idea of stealing you away and making sure that you’re constantly protected, safe from the outside world and the horrible people inhabiting it (people like her and the Troupe, she’ll admit) is appealing, she won’t ever make a move to imprison you with her unless an outside force comes into play.
She’s just too nervous and hesitant, because although what she currently has now with you isn’t ideal (the fact that you aren’t under her constant supervision or just within reach to touch – if she ever got brave enough to do so, that is – is certainly not her dream), it’d be even less ideal to have you a shell of your former self.
And those outside forces rally could be just about anything – if it threatens you in some way, she’ll begrudgingly decide that stealing you away is the only possible option.
For example, if someone were to figure out her connection to you; she’s worked tirelessly to make sure that any trace of her obsession with her and her feelings is invisible, to the point where not even anyone in the Troupe is aware of your identity.
(Some, like Shizuku and Shalnark, are aware that there’s someone that’s got Machi all up in knots, that she’s willing killing for and wants to keep constant surveillance on. Otherwise, Machi wouldn’t have just asked Shalnark about the best quality cameras that can be easily concealed available on the market – and she’d been blushing, even, a very light pink on her cheeks that made him stare for a moment, gaping like a fish because who the hell could you possibly be to affect Machi so much? Shizuku, for her part, just knows there’s something a little different about her fellow member – Machi’s smiling more, and while Shizuku is forgetful, she remembers the little things about her friend – and when she’d brought it up Machi, she’d only huffed and firmly told Shizuku to be quiet, her voice still snippy but just slightly wobbling.)
There’s a few cracks in her careful hiding of you, but for the most part Machi is frighteningly good at making sure that no one will ever know about you.
But the impossible has a way of happening, and if by some stroke of ill luck someone does find out about you and tries to attack you, torture you, kill you or use you for leverage?
The moment that she gets you back, safe from the threat of death, immediately she’s putting you under her care, locking you up tight in a small home in a small town where you’ll be utterly, completely safe.
However, the more likely scenario of an outside factor forcing her hand is that Machi will be approached by Chrollo himself – his words are simple, an are you alright? You seem to be a bit off your game, Machi. Whatever it is, please don’t let your duties to the Spider slide.
And when Machi takes a deep breath, she can’t help herself from spilling it all to her boss – the words come out fast, splutters of her feelings for you and how she can’t get you off her mind, how the constant worry over your safety eats away at her every moment she’s away from you, but Chrollo listens diligently, nodding every once in a while.
And when she finishes, her breathing slightly ragged, he can only place a comforting hand on her shoulder, asking her if she’s considered keeping you in a secure location, in which you’ll always have the comfort of knowing she’s alright?
And while she had in fact considered – and immediately discarded – the idea, something in that moment clicks; her life is dedicated to the Troupe, and maybe it really would make things easier to keep you locked up, to keep you safe and sound and completely protected.
Chrollo’s words are enough to have her agreeing, slipping into your room late one night and gently hitting a pressure point, only to leave you snuggled up in your new bed in a collection of the warmest, newest blankets that she could find.
You’re so cute, and while there’s a small amount of guilt eating away at her, Machi can’t deny how right it feels to have you completely aware of how dependent you are on her. Just as it should be.
As a captor, Machi’s air of distance and emotional invulnerability doesn’t simply disappear. Habits can’t be unlearned that quickly, after all, and while every glance at you leaves her stomach feeling weightless and her heart hammering in her chest, she’s too overwhelmed to really be able to talk to you normally – much less touch you as a means of expressing what she’s feeling.
She’s still so used to not really expressing herself, and while you’re quite literally in front of her, looking as precious and pretty and sweet as you always do, she can’t quite find it in her to openly admit how deeply the love swirling in her chest for you runs.
The possibility of you rejecting her is something that scares her to her core, and while the idea of you lovingly hugging her, kissing her and telling her in that flustered, sweet voice that you love her is something that actually makes her blush, the anxiety that you won’t return her feelings eats away at her.
There’s a constant war happening in her mind, really – she’ll dream about holding you at night, her eyes flicking under her eyelids as she imagines how warm you’d be, how good it would feel to press a kiss against the crown of your head, your hair tickling her lips as she whispers an I love you, only to wake up and immediately scoot away from you on the bed, hopeful that you hadn’t awoken during the night and seen the way she’d crawled in beside you.
She’s still distant and impossible to read, and for a good portion of your time under her care, you’ll have absolutely no idea why she’s stolen you.
She obviously doesn’t want to hurt you – she’s threatened you once or twice, sure, but never once has she actually laid a hand on you with violent intent.
(The threats even seem to be accidental, really – as soon as the words slip from her mouth, her eyes widen almost imperceptibly, as if she’s shocked by what she’s said. She’ll always be a little skittish afterwards, avoiding you more than normal and struggling to maintain eye contact, but you’ll always end up with a small, token gift by your nightstand that makes you wonder just how much she seems to know about what you like and dislike – the gifts may be unnerving, but they’re always things you love. Even if you don’t recall having mentioned it to her.)
She doesn’t want to hurt you, and you’ve pretty much ruled out the possibility that you’re being held as a hostage with some larger goal in mind.
After all, why would she bother to make sure you’re comfortable and taken care of if she was just planning on using you?
Why would she invest in buying such high quality sheets for your bed (your preferred blend/texture, of course), or such nice clothing for you?
(It’s all in shades of dark reds and pinks, a mixture of loungewear that fits you perfectly, and a frilly, lace nightgown that only comes down to the mid-thigh and makes you look positively angelic – if it weren’t for the way the sheer fabric does nothing to mask your nipples or the curve of your ass. Don’t ask Machi about the nightgown – she’d stolen it late one night, back when her obsession with you was in full throttle and she was constantly wanting, not quite having you kidnapped yet but still needing to be around you more and more. It was a split second decision, and a part of her hoped you wouldn’t even find the thing in your closet – but the moment she sees you for the first time, that thought disappears and she’s only left with the wonderful, explicit image of you standing in it, her eyes examining every inch of your body.)
You’ve considered everything from a ransom to becoming a future murder statistic, and yet nothing quite seems to fit the situation.
Because Machi’s not affectionate, either – in fact, she hardly ever touches you unless she absolutely has to.
When she’s patching you up after you fall and scrape your knee on the edge of the chair, her fingers almost recoil the moment your skin and hers meet. She avoids any hand you reach out with to grab at her wrist or tap her shoulder, jumping nearly out of her skin and whipping around to face you, this look crossing her face that seems like anger and yearning. It’s confusing, and after a while you’ll stop trying to initiate any form of physical contact, and Machi notices.
It frustrates her, this nagging feeling in her chest begging her to do something, to just reach out and place her hand on your shoulder or wipe away a few crumbs of food from your lips when you’re eating (she made the food, of course, after having watched you cook yourself dinner countless times through your kitchen window).
She won’t do it though, too embarrassed and scared you’ll reject her – so you’ll be left to wonder exactly what the hell her goal is. She doesn’t want to hurt or kill you, and she doesn’t seem to want to assault you or use your body either – what does she want?
You won’t know for a very, very long time – potentially even years, if Machi is left to her own devices. She’s just too scared to come clean; the chance of your rejection or your disgust makes her anxious in a way that has her picking at her nails and pulling out pieces of hair, the anxiety of it all just too much. But as time passes, things will get better.
She’ll slowly – very slowly – begin coming out of her shell, letting herself stand just a hair closer to you or let her gaze linger on your for just a moment longer than before. Eventually she’ll get to the point where she’ll sit directly next to you on the couch, your thighs pressing against each other’s and both of your faces looking straight ahead, both of you unwilling to broach the subject of exactly what’s happening. (Machi’s too nervous, and you’re too confused.)
It’ll take her a long time to admit that she cares about you, but she expresses that sentiment in different ways – she’s a woman of action, and you can tell that she holds just a sliver of fondness for you from the way she provides for you.
Instead of sleeping on a cement floor in some dark, wet, cold basement, she’s outfitted a modest, simple room for you, with a nice twin bed in the corner and a fully stocked closet, along with some art supplies to keep you entertained and a few others items corresponding to your hobbies.
Instead of restricting your meals or feeding you expired, questionable food, she’s always arriving at your doorway with a steaming bowl of soup (she didn’t make it – she can’t cook, but she did personally pick it out from the takeout place or pick it up at the store), her eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before they flick away.
Instead of invading every inch of your privacy like you’d expected, she’s respectful when you have to change (turning away, though the throbbing that forms between her legs begs her to turn around because you’re five feet away from her and you’re naked and fuck fuck fuck -).
She won’t force you into any kind of affection (no unwanted kissing or sexual touching, not even any comments about how attractive you are or how much she desires your body (because the thoughts are there, oh yes, and it’s difficult to keep them at bay, but she tries her best).
She’s even able to predict what you want before you know you want it – she’s spent so long stalking you and paying attention to every small habit in your daily life that she knows exactly how much body wash you lather yourself with in the shower, or how heavy your menstrual flow is, or even
PUNISHMENTS:
Doesn’t like seeing you in pain, and generally you’ll be too afraid to act up because she’s so cold and distant most of the time. She also has no problem intimidating you, whether it be by having a conversation with Feitan in the same room and playing up hearing him talk about new torture methods, even though she hates putting scary ideas into your head (she would never let Feitan touch you or anyone hurt you, but she figures that if you’re scared or have the idea that you will be hurt if you try anything, you’ll probably behave)
Generally speaking, Machi honestly does not enjoy causing you any sort of discomfort or harm.
She’s overbearingly protective, anxious at just the slightest fraction of a possibility that something could hurt you (the amount of times she’s jumped into action and harshly snatched the semi-sharp pencil you were using out of your hands has told you exactly how deeply her paranoia regarding your safety really runs), and she doesn’t have a moral compass that allows her to genuinely believe that any harm she does to you is somehow different than the danger she’s always trying to protect you from.
She doesn’t see herself as being a disciplining force; rather, Machi more wants to keep you safe and pristine, and though she knows it’s a bit of an impossibility, at least towards the beginning of your captivity, she wants you to be as happy as possible as well – she didn’t kidnap you just for the hell of it, and she didn’t uproot your whole life just for shits and giggles.
She wants you to behave, to be safe and sound and still enjoying what little life you have in her clutches, and frankly, punishing you is something that probably won’t happen too often. Machi is scary as a captor at first, if only because she’s just so cryptic, so unwilling to admit to anything regarding her feelings or obsession with you that could be used against her, your smarts coming in to play to manipulate her into letting you go or allowing you to be hurt.
She’s terrifying, cold, calculated and incredibly impersonal, so while the urge to try and escape, to fight her, to do anything to stand up for yourself is incredibly strong, you’ll likely be extremely hesitant to do so.
Because really, while she tries not to show any blood in front of you or explicitly talk about her job, you’ll be able to see the signs – she’s not the best at washing the blood off of her shirt before she returns home from particularly difficult or gruesome jobs, nor is she good at keeping the irritated mumblings under breath about Shalnark being so damn happy, he kills like it’s candy especially quiet.
She’s not subtle, so don’t act out – because while she knows that she’ll never, ever hurt you, you don’t, and do you really want to test that?
When she changes in front of you (something that takes her a while to have the confidence to do, if only because the idea of you seeing something as vulnerable as her body makes her flush lightly and avert her eyes), the spider tattoo is glaringly obvious, and you’ll be left to face the reality – there’s absolutely nothing you can do to her to get her to leave you alone, and there’s nothing you can do against her in order to leave.
So if you’re stuck, why make the situation any more of a living hell than it already is?
That being said, you are only human – Machi works so damn hard to keep you safe, healthy and vital, to give you as good of a life under her care as she feasibly can, and the moment that you do something to threaten that sense of safety she works so hard to upkeep?
Well, Machi may not like seeing you upset, but there’s only so much patience a mass criminal can have, only so much leniency and exceptionalism she can exercise towards you – which is why, as she sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose when you refuse to stop going near the oven (even though she makes a point to turn the breaker off and cover the oven in such a strong field of nen that there’s no way you could even try to put your hand inside), she decides that difficult situations call for unfortunate measures, that she’ll have to go to the extremes to get you complacent, pliant, behaving.
She still will never purposefully physically hurt you, if only because she genuinely can’t stomach the thought of being the cause for any of your blood to be drawn, but your mind is still oh so vulnerable, oh so exposed for her liking, pliant and susceptible to a bit of manipulation, to a bit of rerouting.
And so, while she doesn’t feel good about it, it’s not difficult to get a troupe member to come to her place, to speak about the latest or newest job, what Chrollo wants stolen, how many people can be killed or in the body count, asking them (with a well hidden wince and a sinking feeling in her gut) to be as explicit and specific as possible, to speak loudly enough that you’ll hear from the next room over.
She does this to prove to you without physical pain that she is still more than capable of shutting you down, that while she may have not done anything to you besides stealing you away, she could kill you at the drop of a pin, and you should really listen to her if you know what’s best for you.
It feels dirty and Machi honestly hates doing it, but it’s the only way – and so, when Feitan reluctantly agrees to swing by (after Machi’s promise of a few million Jenny for his trouble), Machi’s setting him up close to the wall separating the kitchen from the bedroom, asking him to face the plaster and tell him about the latest torture method he’s been experimenting with.
Feitan doesn’t like pointless talking or really helping Machi out at all, but as he begins talking, narrowing his eyes as Machi silently pumps her palm up to show he should speak louder, you’ll be sitting in the next room over, the slightly muffled words chilling you to the core.
First locate the spine, take the long knife and cut from neck to tail bone, should wait five to ten minutes for enough blood. Take oven and heat to 500 degrees…
You’ll be traumatized for all thirty minutes of the conversation, and while Machi fucking hates that she’s filling such gruesome and violent ideas in your head, it’ll get the point across, and get you listening to her again.
After she bids him goodbye (a clipped next month, see you then and a slammed door in his face), she’ll take a deep breath and adjust her ponytail lightly, closing her eyes and preparing to face you.
She’s not surprised to see you curled in on yourself on your bed, eyes wide and your fingers trembling, but it still doesn’t make her feel good, a sick feeling settling in her stomach as she bites her lip and leans against the doorframe, hurting inside knowing that she’ll never, ever let Feitan anywhere near you to enact the torture he was detailing, but knowing that she can’t tell you that.
She’s noticeably silent after every ‘punishment’, letting you stew over the information on your own time, but she’s pleased to see that you begin avoiding the oven like the plague, not a single glance spared at the appliance without copious amounts of mumbled apologies and nervously twiddling fingers.
Of course, Machi doesn’t enjoy breaking you down like this, scaring you into submission, but in her mind it’s the only way – she won’t slap you or bruise you, but don’t mental punishments work better, anyways?
Isn’t it more effective to make you afraid, so that the only thing you feel is safe and dependable is her?
OVERALL DANGER:
7/10
The thing that makes Machi so dangerous is genuinely that she’s absolutely, thoroughly and scarily committed to making absolute sure that you’re taken care of, that not a single thing can hurt you or otherwise affect you.
She’s terrified of the idea of you being hurt, because now that she has someone she actually cares about, a connection that makes her chest feel warm and her cheeks feel flush, she is absolutely not willing to let anything happen to fuck it up.
She’s paranoid, overprotective to a fault, and so painfully detached from being able to properly express herself, to properly showcase just how deeply and horribly her obsession and love for you runs.
She’s terrified of being emotionally vulnerable, of letting you in for fear that you’ll somehow use it against her, and so Machi becomes a bit like your guardian angel – only much, much bloodier, and one that will eventually lock you up and treat you like you’re made of the finest china, able to break at even the slightest poke.
Honestly, if you can deal with her being essentially emotionally unavailable (until at least a year or so into your captivity, if all goes well) and not letting you do much of anything for yourself, life with Machi won’t be so bad – you’ll get adequate, homecooked food (though it tends to a bit bland for nutritional reasons), a clean space to live in (one that she honestly won’t intrude on too much, if only because the concept of sleeping in the same bed as you makes her feel pathetic and weird for being so excited and nervous about it), and a protector who considers your safety to be the most important thing on Earth.
If you can deal with it, Machi isn’t too bad – just remember that ice takes time to melt, and can freeze up again at any moment’s notice, if you’re not careful enough.
208 notes
·
View notes
Note
If it’s not too much of a bother could I request a Yan! Vincent, undertaker, Sebastian, Claude, (and maybe Joker) with a Neytiri! Reader from Avatar (2009) if you have not watched the first or second movie then you can decline this request if you wish.
Neytiri Reader | Yandere Black Butler
Well if being 3 meters tall wasn’t enough to make you an oddity it’d be the blue skin and carrying a respirator around. You’re either the attraction of some side circus show or living as an outcast struggling to grasp the English language and bizarre culture:
Vincent Phantomhive
“Oh, oh my–you’re a vision of beauty.”
He doesn’t fall immediately
Its a matter of interest
Of course, a blue sentient creature walking around is something The Queen most certainly has a problem with
And he most certainly can’t leave you to the whim of ill-fitted criminals
“How about you stay with me…you understand me, don’t you? I’ll give you a home.”
Eventually, fascination will turn into obsession as you continue to amaze him with every passing day
It kills him when he can no longer keep your existence a secret
But he’s going to try his hardest
“You’ll stay with me, won’t you? Even if it means burning with me, right?”
Undertaker
“My my! Never ‘ve i seen a bean like you before. It be a feat to fit you for a coffin!”
You’re his latest case study
Even when threatened by your makeshift arrows he laughs
“My my! The rose has thorns!”
He does so enjoy seeing how you do things
Your inclination to nature and just all the nuances unfamiliar to him
But he finds the most enjoyment when you begin to be pursued
Either by avid mobs or determined showmen
He finds a newfound pleasure in eliminating them
“You all must be interested in coffins for yerselves. Its a shame I’m using all my wood for someone else.”
Sebastian Michaelis
“Well young Master, you’ve already invited a giant demon hound into your home I doubt whatever they are will be that much of a stretch.”
Your anomaly status garners his interest as it does anyone
But he relishes in the knowledge he has of you
Especially beyond your basic respiratory needs
Your habits, the English words you understand, your inclination to nature
“I for one quite enjoy their presence. They're almost better behaved than you, young Master.”
It just the cherry on top that you happen to attract the perfect dredge to defeat feast upon
“Come on then, we must be done by dinner.”
Claude Faustus
“Oh dear, must I care for another than your highness.”
It’ll be Alois’ interest rather than his own
Set to watch you learn the world as Alois presents it
Not on his watch
“Here when you drink, hold it like this…saying this now I realize that you’re hands dwarf the silverware. My apologies.”
You become an outlet
A blank slate he can enjoy be in the company of
When his plans are set in motion he’ll be sure to put you in a role he appreciates
“Now all you have to is stand still and play your part. The one I want for you”
Joker
“...Don’t I know just the place for you!”
He’s thrilled to add you to his circus
Only realizing that you're not as animalistic when threatened
“H-hey! Don’t get cross with me, this is just a precaution!”
When you two find a rhythm he discovers his hatred
His hatred of others wonder
He wanted to be the only one to give you that
So as long as you’re still oblivious he’ll begin restricting you
Locking you away as soon as the curtains close
“Come now Sapphire, we need your rest. Most of all.”
#yandere black butler#yandere kuroshitsuji#yandere joker#yandere sebastian#yandere sebastian michaelis x reader#yandere sebastian x reader#yandere sebastian michaelis#yandere undertaker#yandere adrian crevan#yandere vincent phantomhive#yandere vincent#yandere x reader#yandere x you#lovelyyandereaddictionpoint#yanderexrea#yandere#yanderes#yandere claude faustus#yandere claude x reader
323 notes
·
View notes
Note
Mera mera mera!!! What do you think Leona and Vil would be like if they were horrendously down bad for reader? I can't imagine them being lovey dovey but I feel like they're the same brand of accidentally-gets-obsessed-with-someone-they-shouldnt-even-care-less-about
Omg lovestruck Leona and Vil!!!!!! There are too many thoughts in my mind. :D
Leona smiles more. Whether he's watching you as you bicker over snacks with Ruggie or cheer Jack on as he's trying to beat a weight-lifting record, there's a very faint smile on his face. His features soften when he sees you enjoying yourself or having a good time with your friends. He's complained before that you're too noisy, but truthfully he doesn't mind it as much anymore. He thinks you're cute when you're enthusiastic about something. If anyone notes he's smiling, he's quick to scowl at them, maybe even growling lowly in warning: Say another word, I dare you.
Leona's quite intelligent, though it can be difficult to know this fact when he ditches class so frequently. But I like to think he's spent enough time poking around in the botanical gardens to be able to identify some of the blossoms growing there. Maybe he naps in areas where many flowers bloom because they remind him of you. Flowers may look fragile and yet they're incredibly strong, much like you. For all of the grousing he does, he's always secretly impressed at your strength and how you've managed to fare in a world where magic is so common. Additionally, he considers what flowers are most like you. He wouldn't do something so cheesy as gathering them for a bouquet, but he does think about plucking one to tuck behind your ear. <3
Leona tells himself he'll never be good enough to be anyone's number one. He's always left in second place, overshadowed by someone better and greater. He'll never be king no matter how hard he tries, but when you give him all of your attention, all of your time, all of your kindness, he feels like a king. He feels seen and heard. You listen to him; you entertain him. You're terrible at chess, yet you beg him to play you each time because you're just having fun being with him. And Leona's never known these feelings before. He's never known how it feels to be appreciated as he is.
Many call him a lazy, careless prince, but he's far from it. He knows how to lead a pack, even if his methods aren't the most princely at times. He knows how to take charge and do what's right for those in his corner. He makes decisions based on what's best for Savanaclaw because he does care about his pack. But after having been told his entire life he'll never be anything more than second place, constantly struggling to cast his own shadow, his motivation is lacking and he can't find it in him to give it it his all unless it's a competition to prove he's the best, to show everyone he's number one at something, to become what he's always wanted to be since he was young. But with you around he never has to prove anything. With you, he's just Leona. And though he's normally so arrogant, he's sweeter to you in subtle ways.
As for Vil, everything you say and do has him feeling so over the moon with delight. He can hide his attraction because he's an actor and he's played so many roles that he's become well-informed on how to veil certain emotions and feelings from the prying eyes of others. Vil is harsher on you, seemingly singling you out at times, but it's only because he knows you can become even better. He may seem overwhelmingly tough on you, but he really does care and wants you to be able to shine at your fullest potential. And most of all he wants you to feel good while you're shining! Truthfully, he encourages you to do your best and more because when you feel good it makes his world seem a little brighter.
Vil uses you as his own motivation. Knowing that you will see him in class, that you will approach him and talk to him, that he will continue to fall for you as time passes motivates him to do his best, not only physically and academically but emotionally as well. He knows how it feels to be viewed as a villain, to be unable to stay on stage until the very end, so he wants to be worthy of your attention and adoration.
He wants to be the hero of his life. It's one thing to be a main character, but that won't mean anything if he can't prove that he's worthy of being the lead in his own life. Vil always struggles with that. It's frustrating to work so hard for something that is just always out of your grasp. He learns that he should just focus on being himself. Whether villain or hero, he'll always be Vil at the end of the day and you'll always accept him for who he is.
When Vil is in love, he wants to do his best to win your heart as Vil. Not as the celebrity actor and model Vil (because that Vil can have anyone and anything). But as Vil: your classmate and friend who is more than the roles he plays, who is his own unique person, who always does his best in spite of hardship and doubt. Like Leona, Vil also smiles more and he admires you with so much adoration in his gaze. He's prone to giving you cosmetics he thinks will be best for you. Vil loves to give you things; he claims he's only doing that to help you improve your self-care routines, Rook always notices the underlying meanings (nothing ever escapes his eyes). Vil knows he's stupidly, stubbornly in love, but that won't stop him from continuing to show his appreciation for you in the ways he knows best.
231 notes
·
View notes
Text
Star of the Industry (Popping Candy, DJ, Rockstar, Parfait, and Shining Glitter Cookie)
Requested by: 🧁 anon. Sorry for the wait, but here it is at last! Quite a lot of musical cookies!
“Ladies and gentlemen, Star Jelly Records would like you to put your hands together for the one and only, Y/N Cookie!”
The crowd roared and cheered as you came up onto the stage, outfit and mic at the ready. You tipped your head in confidence as you began to sing.
Running out the oven, we are never turning back. We will not be the witch’s crispy, crunchy snacks!
You danced as good as you sang, making finger guns towards the audience, with the cookie at the receiving end fainting in their fanboyism/fangirlism.
Security cookies had to deal with fans trying to leap over the railings to get closer to you, some had to work hard to get hired this job and it showed with how much they pushed back against the crowd, they were determined to keep you safe.
Be the way you want to be, for all of those to see…
The crowd erupted into cheering as you dropped the mic…into your other hand because microphone were delicate things, why drop it on the ground, hehe.
————————————————————————
You were making your way to your vehicle, security covering you as you walked, your personal agent, Dumpling Cookie, walking right beside you as she too cleared your way of the boisterous crowd.
“Clear the way, cookies. Y/N Cookie has a lot of places to be! HEY! You keep your hands off their hair!”
She smacked the offending cookie on the head with her notebook.
Like with your security detail, Dumpling Cookie had to work real hard to get the role as your agent and vowed to be the best there was. Really only soft spoken and considerate to you, she was cold and professional with others.
She will not tolerate anyone taking advantage of you and will put her foot down towards devious contracts these big shot studios were giving you, with Star Jelly Records being one of few that she was willing to settle with.
You two made to your vehicle as security escorted you both in, with them following after as you drove off.
“You were unbelievable today, Y/N Cookie. Ah, I already preordered myself a copy.”
You very much appreciated her support as you smiled warmly at her, Dumpling having to cover a blush with her notebook.
“O-of course, Y/N Cookie. Okay, next on the schedule is a interview with Reporter Cookie, and then a meeting with our manager, he said it was important.”
The manager? Wonder what that will be about. Sales have been doing pretty wonderfully, and you don’t recall particular problems with today’s performance..what was on his mind…?
————————————————————————
“Tell us, Y/N Cookie, how does it feel to be the next big and upcoming pop star? Your tracks never fail to reach around the top of the chart! I struggle to even get a physical copy with how many cookies crowd the stores!”
Cue a video showing a large crowd of cookies entering the store, huddling around your section inside as copies were literally flying off the shelves.
You chuckled at the recorded scene before answering her question that you were rather humbled that cookies actually listened to, god forbid, even like your music! You uploaded your first track for fun, not really expecting the SURGE of popularity it garnered!
You remember just making a small song in your home and posting it online, not really thinking much of it. To go from being a regular cookie to being a popular figure was surreal to say the least!
“Haha! That’s Y/N Cookie for you, viewers! Humble to the end! Your songs are always so sweet and amazing, it’s even garnered the attention of other cookies in the industry! Even the superstar, Shining Glitter Cookie, plays your songs in her car, humming along to it!”
Shining Glitter…actually likes your songs too? That…was a lot to take in actually, hehe.
“In fact, you’re the talk of the town amongst other well known cookies in the music biz! DJ Cookie mentions you a lot on their posts, Popping Candy showed off his collection of your merchandise, even rising star Parfait Cookie says she gets inspiration from you and your singing!”
Parfait Cookie, you remember going to one of her shows, before you became popular. It was a little funny now that she was looking to you for her inspiration to rise as a pop star!
Funny indeed…
————————————————————————
Your manager praised you for another outstanding performance today, tickets sold like crazy and merchandise sales continue to impress! Dumpling Cookie got a little bit of a scowl going on, she didn’t like all this talk about the money the manager was spouting.
“But…I believe you can get an even bigger popularity boost then what you have right now! After all, a cookie of your talent deserved it! Hence why I called you here!”
Oh? You asked him what that would be? You’re pretty comfy where you are right now.
“It’s no secret that other popular figures in this industry are fans of your music, so I reached out and a multitude of them wished to have a collaboration with you! A great opportunity in my opinion!”
“Now just hold on a second.”
Dumpling Cookie objected, surprising both you and the manager.
“I know you’re the boss and all, but is this really a decision only you yourself can make? A collaboration requires agreement from both sides and I’m not hearing any say from Y/N Cookie about this. I will not let Y/N Cookie be forced into anything.”
You accept!
“W-what?!”
“See, this cookie wants to do this as well! Let’s get this project underway!”
The manager starts to type away at his computer as Dumping turned to you in concern.
“You really want to do this, Y/N Cookie? I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable with this whole thing. Watching out for you is not just me doing my job, but because I care about you. Know that.”
You chuckled as you placed a hand on her shoulder, you looked her in the eye and reassured her that you were okay with it. It sounded like a neat idea and hey, you could make some new friends with this collaboration project. You thanked her for caring about you, it what makes her an awesome secretary to you.
Again, she used her notebook to hide her blushing face, a small smile forming on her face.
————————————————————————
You waited in your studio for the first cookie the manager scheduled for you, the door opening to reveal them.
Rock and roll, baby! Rockstar Cookie had made it onto the scene! He was enthusiastic to meet you, playing a guitar riff as he entered the room!
He’s seen your stuff and wanted to collaborate with you as your musician! With your cool singing and his spectacle guitar playing, you two would make a good team!
His admiration didn’t stop at just your jams, he will compliment you personally, though this will get an eyebrow raise from Dumpling Cookie.
You agreed that his guitar playing was pretty great, those were some sick riffs he played. This is enough for Rockstar to start playing his guitar from the hype.
Your audiences will just adore the two of you together, baby. His fans will simply love you after a concert together! He knows he does-
Alright that was enough as Dumpling Cookie nudged him out the door, Rockstar calling out to you that he hopes you pick him! Other cookies have no soul with their music, rock and roll was the way to go!
“Okay, that’s one of them. Not bad with a guitar, but should really learn personal space. Who’s next?”
Parfait Cookie would be the next to walk through the door, at first a little nervous, but after a warm welcome from you, her confidence grew and she was eager to proclaim her inspiration from you!
She heard one of your songs in the cafe and was immediately got stuck in her head. She was, like, a pretty big fan of you afterwards. She watched your shows and would try to replicate your singing and dancing herself!
You were flattered! It was pretty clear Parfait looked up to you a lot, like, a lot a lot.
She’s got a bunch of your albums in her room, she couldn’t pick favorites, they were all amazing! It would be perfect if you could sign them!
You were amazing….~
She would be a incredibly happy cookie if you collaborated with her, not only would she be one step closer to her dream, it would make her year to sing alongside her idol!
“Happy to possibly work with you, Y/N Cookie! I’ll totally cherish the time spent together, paru paru parfait~!”
Parfait happily waved at you as she made her exit, Dumpling closing the door behind her.
“She seemed fine, an inspiring cookie with a dream. Though she seemed too sugary with her admiration, if you want my opinion on it I mean. Let’s see…”
DJ Cookie made through the door with sick beats, nodded their head as they made their way to you. The winner of 8 Jammy Awards and had earned the label of having the best album of the year!
You’ve heard of DJ Cookie’s music career and thanked them for believing you were worth it to collaborate with.
Of course, you were a cookie with a sick talent for singing and dancing, DJ themself have a few videos of your performance in the background while they record!
They saw Rockstar Cookie leaving your office with a smug grin, you weren’t actually considering collaborating with him, were you? His music would put people to sleep, not DJ!
DJ believed that you are worth so much more to let a cookie like Rockstar be your musician for a concert! You deserved only the best and they will do their hardest to be the best for you!
8 JAMMY AWARDS. Did you know they won 8 of them?! Their album was at the top for the year! There was no cookie capable of such feats as them! The choice to collaborate with is obvious!
Just say you’ll pick them please.
And that was Dumpling’s cue to escort DJ out of the studio. DJ tried to say that it was only a heat of the moment thing, but Dumpling wasn’t having it as she closed door.
“For a cookie of their caliber, that went down fast. Please advise caution if you go with DJ Cookie, Y/N Cookie. They don’t seem to be of sound mind when it comes to…rivals. Next one in line!”
Popping Candy, similar to Parfait, was nervous when coming through the door. Along with Shining Glitter, you were an idol to him and his group the more they climbed up the chain.
Shows you his collection of your merch he has on his phone. He even had the head shaped pillow that quickly ran out of stock! To see his collection yourself, you chuckled as you scratched the back of your head in flattery.
When your manager put out the offer of a collaboration in his feed, he jumped at the opportunity. To have a joint concert with you would be a dream come true for a fan of his level.
He and his group, the Cake POPs, would do their best to follow your every step, they wanted to make sure this concert was perfect! Popping Candy already watches your performances on repeat, so he’s got an idea of how you perform!
His other group members would be greatly appreciative if you chose them to collaborate with!
Let him take a breather, wow, it’s just, he was actually talking to you, THE Y/N Cookie, an idol he’s been following for a long while now!
Could you perhaps…sign his forehead?
Dumpling sighed, that was her cue. She politely requested Popping Candy to make his leave, but to avoid making him upset, she tried a roundabout approach.
“Uhh, right. Thank you for your time, Popping Candy Cookie. We’ll keep in touch if you get picked, so give Y/N Cookie some time to think about it.”
Ah! Of course, Popping Candy understood! He got up and headed on out, he needed to practice on his choreography and singing some more! Dumpling wiped her forehead as she shook her head, what was going on today..
The most popular for last, Shining Glitter made her entrance by shaking hands with you, saying how she became a quick fan of you after listening to your songs on the radio. The way you sang just enraptured her!
She was a super star, but in her eyes, you were the star that shined as brightly as ever with how you were on stage! She found herself wanting to dance to your rhythm!
She scooted closer to you as she took your hand into hers, saying how this was probably your first collaboration and so it would be an honor if she was the first cookie you partnered with, it would mean lot. This sent alarm bells for Dumpling Cookie.
Both of you were popular stars, so it only makes sense that you two were paired together. Fans from both sides would just LOVE to see you two perform on the same stage.
They were naming a street after her, she’s considering including your name in it too as a token of your beautiful partnership with her!
Like with Popping Candy, she has a bunch of your merchandise she shows off on her social media, nabbing the higher end ones like Y/N Cookie-branded pillows, plushies, party sets, etc. Even a copy of your very first track release, it was incredibly rare!
Sorry if this seemed out of nowhere, but it would be a funny to see the possible ship names the fans would make for you two. Shining Y/N Cookie? Y/N Glitter Cookie? The possibilities were infinite!
Line was drawn, Dumpling requested that Glitter make her way home. Shining Glitter was genuinely confused with this, was it something she said? Shining Glitter would not budge as she refuted what Dumpling was trying to tell her.
“Ms. Glitter, you need to make way for the next cookie in line-“
“What? What do ya mean “next cookie”? Was my proposal not good enough to get selected right away? Who else was there to choose besides me?”
“Plenty of other cookies, you’re not the only one making it in this line of work. Simply, I don’t care if you’re popular, Y/N Cookie will not be working with any cookie who’s this forceful and arrogant.”
“I want to hear it from Y/N Cookie themselves, Y/N, would you like to have this partnership with me?”
Dumpling was doing her best to push back, but Glitter got uncomfortably close when asking that it made look to the side awkwardly.
Well…
“You’re, like, already popular enough, I should be the cookie they collaborate with!”
Parfait Cookie at the door?! DJ too?! Wait, they’re all here?!
“They’re good in the singing business, they just need the right cookie with the sickest beats, that’s where I come in and whisk them off their feet!”
“Your tunes are soulless, rock and roll is the way to go, baby!
“So many cookies here..will Y/N Cookie still choose me after all this?”
“A cookie of their standing only deserves an equal to that, don’t ya see that it’s me who can fulfill that?”
Dumpling Cookie grew increasingly agitated the more the group of cookies bickered, this was no way to act in front of you.
She had to angrily call for security to escore all the cookies out of the premises.
————————————————————————
The cookies waited in the lobby, sat down and lamenting on the events from earlier.
“We messed up, didn’t we? I hope Y/N Cookie isn’t too mad at us…”
“Parfait: I do admit to losing my cool there, it’s just…I look up to them so much, that sharing the stage would be a dream come true. I should’ve assumed it was the same for everyone else, regardless of fame.”
“Hear hear, the fire in my heart was so passionate that it clouded my mind…”
“Shining Glitter: I do admit that I was actin’ unprofessional back there, a part of me…wanted Y/N Cookie to like me as more then just being a superstar, but as me…”
The door leading into the lobby opened, revealing you and Dumpling Cookie as you made your way to them. Dumpling’s cold state boring into the eyes of the cookies made them want to avert their eyes from the intensity.
“Y/N Cookie has taken it into consideration…and they’re just not interested in any of you. Thank you for your time and actually make your leave from here.”
The cookies gasped in horror before you poked Dumpling in the shoulder with a pout.
Heyyy, you didn’t say that. Come on now, Dumpling.
“What? Am I not allowed to have a little fun?”
Broooo. Anyway, you corrected Dumpling’s little joke by stating that to avoid any discourse and bitterness from the other cookies, you’ve decided…that you accept everyone’s offer to collaborate. Let’s shoot for the moon with so much talent onboard!
Everyone was taken aback! They were so sure that they’ve messed up their chances by the little squabble from earlier, they didn’t expect you to have the opposite reaction in any capacity!
Well, the stage was for anyone, and considering how each and every one of them said they were a fan of you, you figured why not and decide to make this one grand collaboration of all different types of talent! The manager was certainly happy and excited with this idea, so if they’re willing, you were down with it.
They saw the opportunity and JUMPED for it
“Yeah, Y/N! Let’s make some killer music, baby!”
“I won’t let ya down, Y/N Cookie. I promise ya my beats will pump up the crowd!”
“Y-yes, I’d love to! I really need to practice now to match you!”
“Shining Glitter: Let’s be glorious stars together, Y/N Cookie!”
“Parfait: Wow, just wow! I’m, like, totally excited for this! I feel like my toppings wil melt!”
Dumpling Cookie rolled her eyes at the other cookies with a smile, you always did have a kind sway over cookies to have them get along. Sure, you weren’t as hard on them as she would’ve been, but it just showed how much of a giving cookie you were. And that’s what she loved about you.
————————————————————————
“Welcome back, cookies! We have a special performance today! Y/N Cookie is not making an appearance alone tonight! We at Star Jelly Records would like to announce our special guests! Rockstar Cookie!”
“Are you cookies ready to rock?! WHOO!”
“Parfait Cookie!”
“Paru-paru-PARFAIT! Are you cookies ready for sweet melodies!”
“DJ Cookie!”
“DJ Cookie here and I’m gonna drop the beat!”
“The Cake POPS!”
“We’re honored to be singing alongside Y/N Cookie! Here’s to a great concert with you all!”
And gracing the stage alongside them, Shining Glitter Cookie!
“Can you make some noise, cookies?! We can’t hear you!”
The crowd roars as you handled the mic, singing alongside Glitter, Parfait, and the Cake Pops while you played your tunes with Rockstar and DJ, all of them very much liking you giving them attention.
The manager behind the curtain was crying happy tears while Dumpling Cookie was waving a mini-flag of you as support.
Your mailbox will be crammed with fan letters, but hey, that’s the price to pay when you’re a superstar in this industry!
#cookie run x reader#cookie run kingdom#cookie run kingdom x reader#cookie run#cookie run ovenbreak#cookie run x you#cr x reader#crk x reader#fanfic#shining glitter cookie#shining glitter cookie x reader#rockstar cookie#rockstar cookie x reader#dj cookie x reader#dj cookie#parfait cookie#parfait cookie x reader#popping candy cookie#popping candy cookie x reader#cookie oc#cookie run oc
367 notes
·
View notes
Note
Let me tell you that I am in L O V E with your enha universe series! I have re read it over many times and wonder what the boys's kinks would be? I know it's random but it keeps coming to mind eg.. I think Hoonie's stepbro character would be into choking? I want to know what your thoughts are! Keep up the good work! <3
🥺🥺🥺❤️ thank you so much!
ive never really thought about their kinks in the stories so this will be interesting!! loooong fun answer ahead 😏 (also im not too familiar with many kinks so i will only list a few!)
(all gifs are mine!)
sooooo for heeseung’s character, he definitely has a corruption kink NO FUCKING DOUBT (it’ll show more when i post “first impressions” for his story). from day one, he has always enjoyed encouraging little, innocent you into doing naughty things (like when you sucked him off in the backyard at the party). the idea of being your first for anything sexual, turns him on so much. like no other person has touched you, seen you in ways he has or made you feel the way he makes you feel before. god, that fact gives him an INSTANT boner. size kink is another definite one. man is HUGE and enjoys dominating you all the time 👌👌👌 hugging, cuddling, sleeping, spooning, fucking. no matter when or where, mr lee just LOVES seeing how small you are compared to him. how his big arms could so easily hold you up as he’s fucking you against the wall. or how he could easily hold you down with just one hand around your neck 😏. one last kink. i’m going to say... breeding. 👀👀👀👀
for sunghoon’s character, he does seem to be into choking. it’s probably because he enjoys displaying his power/dominance over people because clearly, he is a man with a lot of power. he’d love to wrap his fingers around your neck and watch you struggle as he fucks you into the bed, his lips against your ear, whispering degrading words into them. so i guess he also has a very slight degradation kink. “you’re such a dirty slut for me.” “only for me.” this man is quite possessive as well + his tsundere personality means that you’ll be denied an orgasm quite often, especially when he’s having a jealous fit or when he’s unhappy with you. so he probably has a slight thing for orgasm denial? he’d make you beg for a release. to say please like he was your owner. to have you do whatever he wants you to do. in conclusion, your step brother just wants you to himself. all of you.😏
omg. jake sim is wild. he’s a fuck boy and definitely a kinky motherfucker. similar to heeseung, jake also has a big corruption kink. he knows damn well that you’re a good girl, who hasn’t experienced much sexually (complete opposite with him lol) so the thought of having you do naughty things under his COMPLETE control turns him on so much. he’ll teach you so, so many things. role play, bondage, toys. the whole lot. but what will drive this man even crazier is if you called him daddy. mans got a daddy kink for sure, especially if the word is coming out of your mouth. that’s literally his weak spot. though he won’t admit it, jake has a huge soft spot for oh-so-innocent you. we all know that he fucks around quite a bit but all you need to do is look at him with your pretty, doll like eyes... and jake simp will drop all his bitches for you in an instant. add in “please daddy?” and man will be on his knees for you 🤭 (obviously will be more evident later on in the story!)
and lastly mr park jay. our boss man. this man may not speak much but DEFINITELY has some kinks. like voyeurism. he probably observes you in secret, especially on days when you’re wearing shorts skirts or a deep neck top perhaps 😏 at some point later on in his story, he’ll have you spread out on the bed and instruct you to use the toys (that he purchased for you 🙊) on yourself while he watches 👀. he most likely has a sir kink as well. hell yesssssss. he’ll lose control and fuck you so hard every time you’d call him sir during sex. especially on days where he’s super stressed and you walk into his office... calling him sir... oh good riddance. the man is going to slam you against his expensive table, bunch your skirt up, rip open your blouse and of course, tie your hands behind your back with his tie before FUCKING YOU RAW 🤭🤭🤭 i guess he also has a slight bondage kink too because he just loves tying your wrists with his ties and belts. it turns him on so much when he sees you restrained and struggling beneath him, your pretty eyes slightly watery while taking his thrusts like the good girl that you are for him 🙃
i got carried away with jay’s one lmao but that was definitely fun to write! 🥰
- @jongseongsnudes
#ask jongseongsnudes#the enha universe#enhypen fluff#enhypen kinks#enhypen drabble#enhypen smut#enhypen fic#enhypen imagine#enhypen scenario#enhypen jay#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jake#enhypen sunghoon#park jongseong#jongseong smut#park jay smut#park jay scenario#park jay drabble#lee heeseung#heeseung smut#heeseung drabble#park sunghoon#sunghoon drabble#sunghoon smut#jake sim#jake sim smut#jake sim drabble#jongseongsnudes
800 notes
·
View notes
Text
i might be a little feverish but little talks by of monsters and men sure hits different when you listen to it while thinking of season 4 to post canon levihan and i'm going to write an essay about it.
cool? cool.
so, hear me out. first verse:
I don't like walking around this old and empty house
So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear
The stairs creak as you sleep
It's keeping me awake
It's the house telling you to close your eyes
And some days I can't even dress myself
It's killing me to see you this way
that's levihan adjusting to life right after the battle of shiganshina, right?
i mean, the old and empty house and the noises it makes while they sleep represent the now near empty headquarters that they've lived in for a decade that's become haunted with all of their dead comrades' ghosts ; and that line some days i can't even dress myself that is, imo a pretty good match for hange's state of mind (who is no doubt struggling to adjust to their role as Commander) while levi has to watch them shoulder all the responsibility of facing this new world none of them imagined as it is, and knowing it's technically his fault they're in this position
There's an old voice in my head
That's holding me back
Well, tell her that I miss our little talks
Soon it will be over and buried with our past
We used to play outside when we were young
And full of life and full of love
Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right
Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear
now the analogies in this verse might be a little less obvious but bear with me. hange's old persona's is still in there, beneath that much more professional exterior they have to project in their new leading role, and so the other voice saying i miss our little talks to me could symbolize levi missing his crazy close friend (who does make a reappearance once in a while, thankfully, but is mostly concealed) because things aren't quite the same as they used to be between the two of them
and of course, hange is exhausted from that burden they inherited 4 years ago and doubting themself and their decisions (especially when things start to go south with eren and later his minions), and although levi can no doubt understand that, he's still loyal to them as his leader
and then. well then comes that bridge. and i'm gonna let the lyrics speak for themselves, aight?
You're gone, gone, gone away
I watched you disappear
All that's left is a ghost of you
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart
There's nothing we can do
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon
Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around
I'll see you when I fall asleep
okay i lied, i'm still going to point out that please hang around is a very obvious parallel to levi telling hange to keep watching, or possibly a reference to his last gesture towards them when they told him to let them go and look cool and he couldn't help himself and had to break everyone's fucking heart over that intimate version of their military salute.
the I'll see you when i fall asleep i feel could refer either to levi's hallucination of all the scouts veterans, or to the fact that he's hoping he gets reunited with them when it's his turn to die, many many years in the future after he gets the rest and peace they all deserved.
anyways THIS IS THEIR ANTHEM BYE!!
#music#little talks#levihan#shingeki no kyojin#snk#levi ackerman#hange zoë#attack on titan#aot#i'm a little obsessed can u tell#honestly this has been in my mind for a solid year+half#had to come out at some point#the lyrics coloring is funky bc tumblr hates me#snk meta#(not sure it deserves that title)#snk veterans
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trigun AU
I was crying over my exams, so I went ahead and doodled a little more on the dentist au to cope. Here are the headcanons I came up with lol
Livio
Originally, Livio was meant to be a coworker or even an assistant to Knives in his clinic but I had a revelation. I think there's two things he is most likely to be: A dancer and self defense trainer. No one really expects a bulky guy like him to be so free flowing like that. I think it brings such a fun vibe to him.
He has a space above Knives' clinic and can often be seen picking up children from the ground floor.
He grew up in the church with Nico so he's someone who values God.
He slouches as if to make him smaller. The guy struggles to be stern with his students.
Razlo
Razlo is most likely a prosecutor. Livio grew up in a dangerous and terrible environment before he was brought to the church, so Razlo can be fiercely protective over him. That doesn't mean he hasn't hurt him at some point.
Razlo is musically skilled. I like to think the two of them have a thing going on where Razlo starts playing a random tune out loud and Livio's starts vibing to that.
Meryl
She's a journalist. Well, more like a blogger. Milly and her grew up in the same neighborhood and that's how she met Roberto. In her mind, she admires him and his job. As she grew older though, she did come to realize Roberto isn't the flawless role model she always thought of.
She's very perceptive and quite the smart cookie, but tends to get ahead of herself when she's too excited.
Loud unintentionally. It does benefit her with her work at times, but hanging out with friends? Just bury her six feet under, won't you?
She's studying accountancy because. Just because. I see her being stressed out at the data she's had to recompute for the past hour because Vash is being too loud.
Milly
MY GIRLLLLL
She works part time in a cafe/ restaurant her family owns
Roberto is her uncle (DON'T ARGUE WITH ME)
She's really strong from the amount of groceries and stocks she's asked to carry by her family
Also studying accountancy because she saw how determine Meryl was with her studies.
I guarantee you she finishes the homework first and Meryl asks to doublecheck her answers to see if she (Meryl) got it correct.
Many would call her naive but really, she just likes seeing the good in people. Her parents raised their kids that way afterall.
Her family's restaurant is where the gang hangs out most days.
She's really into motocross and that's how she and Nico bonded over.
Isn't really sporty but will definitely join and demolish you in basically any sport. Basketball? Just try dunking that ball when she's guarding. Hockey? Bro those bruises are going to hurt.
She's got really good luck and she's also really good at board games.
She does tend to get overly emotional though and acts before thinking. Meryl is always quick to swoop in and steady her in these situations.
Nicholas D. Wolfwood
He's an actual priest. I know he has a lot of repressed feelings because of his duties. I mean. His entire inner monologue is just, "You shine so unbelievably bright. You create hope for the people around you like the very god I worship. But it's not like I'd kiss you on the lips or anything or...or whatever."
He's definitely looks older than he actually is.
Weak lungs when he was a child and he's still on medication. That doesn't stop him from smoking though. Everyone around him is always telling him to stop but his response is always, "They didn't fix my lungs just so I don't make use of them."
He can't grow a beard. The best he can get is his stubble and so he is so envious of Roberto's.
He's always dropping bible verses and then gets corrected by Knives about certain facts from the book. He hates him for it.
Legato
He's a fashion designer. He loves being in the field just not as the main focus anymore.
Elegant af in public and yet so unhinged with his crew.
He's got a wonderful voice; probs does voice acting on the side for animated shows/movies.
I like to think everyone takes a look at his work and then research him only to be jumpscared by his alt lifestyle on instagram.
He's cringe as hell to his friend group ngl. He'd sing his early 2000s Avril Lavigne in that overtly cartoonish emo voice.
He's a little obsessed with getting Knives to model for him after they shared one class in college.
Elindira
An influencer and Livio's business partner.
Much stricter on lessons and I think that's why they're compatible.
She's also a lawyer, because I can see her fighting an argument for Livio and winning.
She's very mature...when's not with Legato. Then they immediately link and start bickering like siblings.
She's the type to use a number of pet names for everyone.
Red sportscar. Red lipstick. In her pajamas and wearing cat-eyed shades while holding her head because of the hang-over she has but she still has to pick up the tiny menace from middle school. (Zazie)
She's a wine aunt and you can't convince me otherwise.
Never had a bad hair day in her life
Terrible blunt about things it honestly causes more harm than good but she won't ever lie to your face.
Vash
He likes collecting happy meal toys and displaying them in a glass cabinet in the family house dining room. This has translated to him collecting every single mascot figurine from business partners and local businesses around the area.
In high school, he worked part-time promoting Milly's family restaurant by spinning a sign around in a beat up rented mascot suit. No one will ever know who the kid behind that giant dog head was.
Mama's boy...cough
He dresses like an 80s rockstar or a biker but he's never actually approached a bike because of Mama Rem's constant helicopter parenting.
People just assume he's a 'bad boy' because he has a piercing and is a little full of himself at times.
When he's not interning at Knives' clinic, he's an emergency medical volunteer.
He's always been more of an 'I excel in theory but not in practice' guy.
He once made a patient's gums bleed and had them sobbing because he was too focused on getting on with the procedure he messed up the prep work.
Sneaks candies from the jar on top of Knives' desk
He has a prosthetic because I think it's funny for boyfailure no.1 to randomly have the batteries die or it doesn't function correctly.
Dyslexic and was quite sensitive as a child so he often got picked on.
Knives
Boyfailure no. 2 is a well-known specialist who's always rebelled against his mom but still ended up following her footsteps in the field.
He's lazy. He really feels disgusted having to stick his hands in someone's mouth cavity, but dang does his morbid curiosity always win.
I like to think he's mellowed out here because Vash and him watched My Little Pony and at the same time Superbook. He's like super confused and yet enlightened by all these moral stories and going, "Yeah, you're right, Jesus. Twilight Sparkle did deserve better!" or something...
His older cousin, Tesla, always picks on him for going by Knives rather than the name their mom picked out for him.
Do I think Knives is a kid who decided to pick a chosen name when he was 12? Yes. Yes I do.
He excels objectively and fails miserably when it comes to subjective things.
He wears sandals. Rem always got him and Vash those Velcro strap shoes so he, although he doesn't want to admit it, doesn't know how to tied his laces. He also refuses to search it up because he's convinced himself that Vash has this wagered war of who learns from the youtube video first.
He has difficulty accepting affection despite having Vash and Rem around because as a child, Vash came first. He needed to be prioritized.
Imma get to the others another time.
#trigun maximum#trigun stampede#trigun 98#knives million#tristamp#millions knives#trigun vash#drabble#vash the stampede#trimax#trigun milly#polygun#legato#wolfwood#milly thompson#meryl#trigun meryl#livio#nai#milly#vash#elendira the crimsonnail#livio the double fang#elendira trigun#razlo the tri punisher of death#razlo the trip of death#razlo trigun#trigun
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
XAM! /tackles/ Xam, one of my friends just put thots in my head and I had to share them with yoooooooouuuuu ❤️
Long story short - Marco's been a pirate for so long he's certainly had run ins with Marines. He's certainly been detained, interrogated, etc. He's got a good idea of how Marines function, even if he has fewer run ins with them as part of an Emperors crew in his later years.
But those experiences make him really good at role-playing being the marine who has captured two unruly little pirates (I mean Ace and Sabo of course since I'm sharing this with you >.> ). He's got the threads, special gloves, shined boots - stepping out of the sandals just for this little session.
It doesn't even take him five minutes to get the smirks and giggles out of his two boys, and then they're into the role-play so well Marco wonders if Sabo doesn't truly think Marco IS a Marine admiral. Ace is getting snappy and mouthy and it's less batting pretty little eye lashes and more "take these cuffs off and we'll see" sort of things.
I feel like the end of it all is Ace and Sabo tied up into one another in a very snug 69 and Marco just sitting back with a cup of tea as they're trying to get free while being distracted by being buried in one another's throats. (And it's just rope, but Ace is so distracted he's forgotten he could do a few small controlled burns and get them both free).
OOOOH. Quin 👀💦 bless u and ur friend for the gigabrain thoughts
Marco won’t do halves and when the boots come out perfectly shined its Sabo who quits his snickering and brattiness bc this new intensity Marco has draws a curious expression in him, the kind of hyperfocused look when a predator has locked onto their prey
The look enhancing the roleplay tho Ace is so visual so its easy for him to play along, if Marco didnt dress up so well he probably wouldnt have taken it as seriously, Sabo doesnt break in the same way he does, but its obvious hes enjoying the push back the punishment and then the resulting adorable 69 pose Marco puts them in, ace actually struggles more than Sabo
Marco doesnt know which one of his boys he envies more, Sabo for getting to be in such close proximity to Ace or Ace for choking on Sabos huge dick 😖
Absolutely love the ending where Ace could easily set them free but theyre both in so deep to the performance that they forgot that theyre naughty mouthy pirates and instead become his obedient little pets
Super cute very yum :3c
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been posting a lot about my thoughts on Dazai’s characterization and motivations but honestly I’ve been dedicating a lot more energy to trying to understand Oda. Dazai is an amazingly complex character but he’s a constant in the story and we know quite a lot about him, comparatively. Oda is incredibly mysterious and much harder to understand. My breakthrough earlier figuring out that Oda had the book has really helped me open my mind to another side of Oda I hadn’t yet considered.
The things is, authors have to be a bit cruel. Oda’s reasoning for not killing because he wanted to be a writer doesn’t make sense, we kill our own characters all the time. We put them through hell over and over for entertainment/to convey a deeper meaning. I think maybe one of the conditions of having the book is not killing directly, or maybe a certain level of removal from the storyline. Like, if you control reality and others lives with the book you’re giving up a certain amount of control physically in the moment.
Oda is a killer. He is friends with killers. And if I’m right about him being the author of the Dark Era he wrote the deaths of the kids. I think his reaction was genuine, I think he really felt like he shouldn’t have the book, that he didn’t deserve to be its author anymore, but I really think that he wrote the story to give Dazai the opportunity and the motivation to get a better life. I mean, I’ve made myself cry with my writing. The most compelling stories are full of tragedy.
Oda was a child assassin. He was a writer. He was a mafioso. But most of all he was Dazai’s friend.
Wait! Holy shit idea!
Okay so Natsume had the book before Oda, but he was definitely following Dazai around before he got the book so we know there’s already a connection there. I’ve been wondering why Oda was so attached to Dazai. But Natsume wrote the story he adored, the third installment which Oda finished was The Book. But what did Natsume write about? What exactly were the books Oda loved? What if it was Dazai’s story? What if Oda knows Dazai so well because he read his life story over and over and yearned to give him a happy ending? What if his whole motivation was to finish the story in a satisfying way? And everything from the orphan’s existence to Ango’s betrayal was to create an open ended story in which Dazai could potentially have have a better life?
Oda is such an incredible character. He’s full of contradictions until you actually start thinking of him as an author. We authors have strange minds, we love our characters but we put them through so much. Because we wouldn’t love them if we didn’t make them struggle, make them realistic and deep and meaningful. Oda knew the kids were going to die, he wrote it. But he got attached like anyone would. But he was done writing the story, all that was left was for it to play out. So he passed ownership of the book to Dazai and went to play his role.
Fuck I’m getting emotional omg Odasaku is wonderful. I don’t even care if the entire theory is wrong, I’ve figured Oda out with the information I was given and filled in the blanks. Asagiri himself wouldn’t be able to make me give this theory up.
Oda isn’t a good person with strong morals the way he presents himself. He does that to fill the mentor roll for Dazai and to get Dazai to make the desired decisions. He just a fan who was given control of the story by the original author and basically used all the writing tools ever to create a story in which the character he loved but who was tragically doomed and seeped in darkness could find some happiness. Just like anyone writing a fix-it fic. Accept his fix is canon.
Holy shit I’m a genius.
Don’t come at me you have no idea how proud I am of this! Either I figured out the most confusing character ever written or I have created a genius explanation that nothing will ever top (for me anyway).
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd theories#oda sakunosuke#bsd odasaku#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#analysis#writer rambles#im so proud of this rn#im either a great detective or a great writer or both#the book bsd#bsd natsume#author odasaku#author dazai#but also#main character dazai#fan odasaku#imagine becoming the new author of your fav unfinished series#but its real and to tell the story you actually need to kill real people#holy shit
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Previous posts, now I want to ramble a little more!)
But yeah, “Servant” to me stands for the things Komaeda feels he’s been cheated out of.
My original view was that he would probably just give up the Servant thing soon after Monaca goes to space. Whatever happens next, he’ll need new names, new roles. But now I see the sense in the idea he might just keep it, too. After all, he still wears the hand, the symbol of the Despair that Enoshima awakened in him. Why not the chain, to stand for the Despair that’s been in him all along?
He’ll idolize Naegi, a true Hope, or even Kamukura, who I think he’d quickly come to see as something of a false Hope and an equal middle-finger to his past ideology in the other direction. But his love will come with a lot of weird envy, all buried down somewhere in the mix. Whether he’s fully aware of this or not (and either way, he sure is weird about it—“huh huh huh huh huh huh huh?” [funny evidence №3]), it would also serve to feed whatever Despair now rules him.
If it’s Kamukura, his servitude would carry a special sting as he retraces well-worn patterns that mean nothing to him anymore—the over-sung praise of talent on something he knows doesn’t deserve it, the pleas to be used for something that fall on ears he knows won’t listen.
If he decides to work with Kamukura in any way that treats him as Hope (which he very well might not, especially once he knows the full story, Kamukura’s origin, serving Enoshima, etc.), I can’t quite see Komaeda just accepting Kamukura’s apathy either, though. Hope lies in motivation and struggle—even more, now, with his new focus on the underdog. What good is a Hope that Komaeda can plainly order around, and when he doesn’t, does nothing at all? It could be something—an obstacle Komaeda could put in the path of someone like Naegi, perhaps—but it’s not Hope. Komaeda’s here to serve, to facilitate. He pits one force against another. He keeps himself out of the equation, at least on paper.
So if he took an interest in Kamukura and wanted to make him Hope, he would have to find something that actually kind of motivates him—then press his buttons and pull his strings in that roundabout way, until whatever results from that can be roughly passed off as “Kamukura’s idea”. Depending on what sort of motivation Komaeda latches onto (because glimmers of it do exist for Kamukura), how he goes about fostering it, and whether Kamukura actually ends up becoming more motivated or just decides to play along like he has with everyone else who’s ever wanted something of him, this could go wonderfully or horribly or somewhere weird and ambiguous in between.
Talk to me about them they’re fascinating
37 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
bluntnate
Blunt Nate
twilights-stuff
Anything Random
cinnamon-cam
cams journey
wegpast-gallery
Weg In Display-The Gallery