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#smth smth he's never getting over the death of his wife and kids
hearts4juzi · 4 months
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ykw fuck it. werewolf au rambles be upon ye. a retelling of how the werewolf bite of 83 went:
First of all, William saw lots of potential in Michael when he was young. he was the biggest and much stronger than his siblings, and he could transform more easily. however, he had less... impulse control.
He didn't remember everything he did as a wolf, and didn't have as much control over his instincts. Pair that with his uncontrolled loathing of his little brother and... well...
lets just say that when you leave three little mentally ill young freaked out dogs in a room locked up alone together after witnessing something horrific and traumatic (specificall mike saw smth awful. idk if i wanna reveal it yet but. mlem. he saw smth scary) it doesnt end well. and William egging him on didnt help. he insisted that if michael hated evan, he should get rid of him. only the strong survive. he egged him on and on and michael reacted based on instinct
Michael hardly remembers what happened, but he knows he woke up covered in blood and his father asked him where his little brother was. and he didnt know, but he could assume. he never knew william was the cause.
he was never nice to evan btw he was still abusive. and a lot of that bled onto liz after evans death, so he ended up isolated a lot. william didnt care what happened to evan, but he knew michael was useful adn elizabeth could prove to be. he didnt want his precious daughter getting hurt.
william takes michael out to help him under the reasoning that hes already a murderer, he might as well help out his dear old dad. its not awful, you're a wolf, you do wolf things, this is in your blood and cannot be changed!
one day mike does get away from will for a second. he gets hurt and turns back and meets charlie, who helps him out. she doesnt ask where hes from, he insists on not telling henry about it. he doesnt trust him.
but he goes back to william because thats his dad. and he has to, yk? but charlie thinks about him a lot. And vanessa later stumbles across them in the basement, telling herself thats normal, wills probably putting them there so theyre safe from him. before henry tells her williams never had kids. His wife died in a crash before they could
so it must have been fake, right? but the children in front of her are very real, and so are the claw marks on the walls and the little girl's cuts and scraps clearly given to her by her brother, who is also scratched up.
and suddenly William's stories aren't adding up.
and of course everything gets more complicated when michael is missing.
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asscrackcreed · 1 year
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let’s discuss - shit the fandoms wrong about
altaïr pre character development - this guy is a COMPLETE asshole he was a DICK he thought about himself only and al mualim teaching everyone that emotions like love made u weak made him learn the wrong way to act and behave
but ppl just tend to stop at that which is WROOONG this guy might be an asshole but he is emotionally very vulnerable and that’s what made him difficult because he couldn’t process his emotions correctly i mean he was very stoic and u could say that was due to the time of how games were made but see how he never audibly grieved ? basically yeah sure he was rude af but that was because he didn’t know what to do with sad feelings - he just processed it all into aggression
altaïr post character development - he became really wise and loving true and i haven’t read any of the books so correct me if i’m wrong but i feel like he would’ve made hella mistakes as a parent, i.e getting angry often, patience running thin often, raising his voice, learning how to empathise with his sons lmk if it’s specifically stated anywhere where he was a gentle parent but imho i feel like he had to relearn controlling his emotions and i don’t think he was a perfect parent at all
malik - how many times did he call altaïr a novice? once? twice? it’s cute but some of u are overusing it in fanfics that’s eNOUGH SLICES… also he’s not grumpy all the time, he was just angry at altaïr i mean tbf we only ever saw malik interact with altaïr tbf but he did also have a wife and kids and altaïr did accidently end up indirectly killing kadar so… imo he was not grumpy with everyone, maybe a little, but after his brothers death he’d be more reserved and quiet however i don’t think hes legit always super grumpy and angry
ezio - every fanfic he’s throwing a party. stop. just STOP. ezios been one of the most hard working assassins in the series hes not constantly throwin parties if we’re talking about young ezio then it works otherwise he’s probably building a career in a modern au or smth. he fell under the ‘one aspect in the media and we’re gonna run with it for his whole personality’ category
connor - i don’t think connors the most sensible person ever. i think he’s a little selfish, not in the sense that he’d let any harm come to his loved ones but he’s always been straight forward about what he wants (which is always with good intention). he doesn’t need to always be the most sensible and logical 24/7 guy. also i think he’s a little clumsy just a bit ik he was more clumsy as a kid but i like to hc he still kinda is as an adult. the connor is always looking for charles lee jokes are not that funny anymore btw…😭 he’s not your soft uwu brown beat this man is snarky and rude when he wants to be remember he IS a kenway…
edward - he has to be one of the most emotional ppl in the series. he’s always shouting and upset about smth and the fact that he married at like 19…? yeah he’s a bit of alcoholic and likes to have fun but he’s also true to his emotions and i wanna see him be more vulnerable
arno - before i played unity i thought this guy was emotional and stuff but after de la serres death he became a lot more stoic. and work oriented. he reminds me of connor tbh because they were much happier younger and both were hardened by deaths and what the templars did. he’s still a major simp i think but idk why i personally feel like it’s infatuation and elise would never have given him the love he wanted
arno before de la serres death - HES SO CHARMING? hello no one ever talks about this arno he’s so upbeat and funny and sarcastic please whyyyyyyy do we make ezio a whore and not arno like come on
evie - i’ve said it before i’ll say it again yall fuckers NEED to STOOOOOPPPP making her a goody two shoes she wasn’t ‘doing the good thing’ all the time if it wasn’t for the rooks shit would’ve been harder, basically jacob was right to make the rooks cuz u end up taking over areas and reducing resistance and gaining power making it easier to take down crowley with less repercussions in society and she was kinda wrong for making jacob feel dumb sometimes when she was so hard on him for not basically doing what she wanted
jacob - idk if i made evie sound like a villain and ofc jacobs weakness is doing what he wants but he’s still smart he would not be working with evie or fighting alongside her OR assigned work WITH her if he was dumb frfr hes HAS to be academically AND street smart that’s how he knew making the rooks was a good decision. what evie lacks he has and i don’t like when jacob is a COMPLETE idiot. hes dumb sure but he needs more credit than some of u give him. i do also sometimes use that take but he’s one of the more popular assassins because he’s so different to everyone else. hes not serious but that doesn’t make him a total dumbass
bayek - i haven’t played origins so this is a harder one but he seems a lot happier than we make him out to be and yes he seems to be the responsible father but i also feel like he can be kinda goofy sometimes idk like when he’s serious he can be completely terrifying but otherwise he’s extremely sweet
kass/alex: another person who’s very emotional i think they cry like everyday genuinely they are what ppl make jacob out to be
des - i feel like hes bummy af like this guy doesn’t wash his hands as much as he should…
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momoliee · 3 years
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It’s probably too early for The Meta No One Asked For That I’m Gonna Write Anyway about XQC, alas…here we go
Dr. Xie Qingcheng, 32, male, straight (so far), 180 cm with only one current family member.
Xqc is introduced as a cold, aloof and apathetic retired doctor who has no passions, cares about nothing except for his sister, and unless he’s angry, you can barely get an emotional response out of him.
Through meatbun’s character notes on how he has no favorite food, no favorite color or animal, no personal preferences outside what’s most practical and how he’s very very responsible and rules abiding and honest and sober and serious, and through he yu’s POV that continuously paints him as this heartless cold blooded person, I dare say we were…deceived by this so far shades of gray picture we had of him.
Xqc was born into a finically stable middle class family consisting of two cops for parents and a younger sister that came into the world 8 years after him. When he turned 13, and his sister was only 5 at that time, his parents were fired from their job due to a case they shouldn’t have been investigating going wrong, and they had to move to a rural area. Not long after that, he witnessed both his parents’ deaths and saw their corpses with his own eyes, the site was bloody and there’s no way it didn’t traumatize a pre-teen like him. He then was tasked with taking care of his sister, becoming a doctor despite not wanting to, owing others favors and spending all his money on smth that’s yet to be revealed instead of enjoying it. He got married, not to a woman he loves but to someone whom he thought of as “suitable and appropriate”, got cheated on and went through a divorce before losing full interest in the marriage life. He was finally able to retire (we don’t know why yet) and live a quiet, normal, boring life.
I believe xqc loved his parents, I believe he loved them so much cause in chapter 20, he mentions how he thought he wouldnt be able to live past the grief, he wouldn’t be able to go on or move forward, how the grief completely overtook him. He also mentions how he used to play with knots and handcuffs when he was a child, which shows how close he was to them. So for a child who had a good stable life with two loving parents to suddenly fall from a class to a class, suddenly lose both parents and see their corpses with his own eyes, that must’ve fucked him up big time. I’m talking “when can I fully register all of this” kind of fucked up. But he didn’t have time to fully absorb all of this, didnt have the time to sit down and cry, he had a sister, she was only 5, where will they get the money from? What were they gonna do? How was he going to continue school while caring for her? He didn’t have the time to sit down and grief, to sit down and adjust. For a child who had a normal life and didn’t have to worry much about the money like every other middle class kid, he was suddenly burdened with poverty AND loss, and duty and responsibility. Good bye to the days of playing with handcuffs and knots huh?
You ask me, why does xqc not have a favorite food? I answer you, because many many nights, he didn’t know what to feed his sister, much less himself. Cause I bet that many nights, he would have to give up his portion for Xie Xue, to make sure a kid like her is full. Cause he couldn’t afford to be picky, couldn’t afford to choose; whatever was edible will be eaten, taste and flavor be damned. He had to start working from a young age, balance school, babysitting and working all at once. The last friend he made (I think) was that Chen Man guy whose parents were friends with his parents, back when they were alive and life was good. He didn’t have time to make friends, or go out, or have a favorite color or visit the zoo and decide on a favorite animal. No, he had to study, and study hard to become more financially stable and support Xie Xue, he had to raise his baby sister and protect her, he had to work or else how will he put food on their table? Yet he never lost his soft kind heart, cause when his sister asked for a laptop, he bought her one just so that she wouldn’t feel less than any of the other children.
Xqc had to SURVIVE, he had to make do with what he had and what he didn’t have. He didn’t have time to sit down and cry or process his trauma, didn’t even have time to think of adolescent love or his youthful days or do what kids his age did. And all of that carried forward into his adult life. He pushed his emotions back so hard and had his practical, business like mind take care of everything in order to make it through the days. He started to believe that passionate emotions such as love and hate and lust and desire were all a waste of time, a distraction from his duties, smth that will rock the delicate balance he created with his everyday busy schedule. Emotions will stunt you, emotions will delay you, crying and not going to work today means no food to feed his hungry sister with. That’s when he started thinking, strong emotions are a DISEASE, they will take up your time, cloud your judgement, have you make reckless decisions that you’ll regret later. And he couldn’t afford any of that right? Strong emotions are for the weak, they put you in crutches and disable you from moving forward. Wasnt that what he told his ex wife? If he had submitted himself to his grief back then, where would his sister be? Where would he be? How could they have grown up to be healthy and successful adults?
So this man taught himself practicality and duty and priorities. He stopped thinking about himself, about what he wants and what he feels, and instead started making sure that those around him are happy and content and safe and well taken care of. He no longer had desires or passions, he only had rules and regulations. If a person lost their sense of taste, would they still want chocolates and burgers? Would they still have cravings and foods they’d rather swallow medicine than eat? No. If so, how will they decide on what to eat every day? They’ll simply start following a “perfect nutritional plan” and “balanced diet”. They’d eat what they have to eat, when they have to eat, and in the exact portion they need. To them eating would be another chore they have to do every day to keep their bodies going. Similarly, with xqc, graduating, working, marrying, taking care of his sister and auntie, these all became “tasks” and “chores” that he had to abide by and follow. They became the dietary plan for his life till he dies, the outline he shall follow, the textbook rules he will carry out, no need to think of what he “wants” or “desires”, what will make him “happy” or bring him “joy”. He no longer listened to his emotions when making decisions. Even when marrying his ex wife, he married her cause she was “a suitable match”, not for her looks or personality or anything. Feelings are life’s taste buds, and once you remove them, everything becomes tasteless and mundane, and practicality/logic takes over. He stopped knowing what it felt like to choose based on your preferences, cause he stopped having the luxury of choice ever since that night when he was 13, and he no longer was able to re-teach himself the meaning of free will and choice.
So when he yu, in chapter 20, asked him how he would’ve acted if Xie Xue had died, and he said, “I would’ve continued living as I am today till my last breath,” he wasn’t being “cold” or “heartless” or “indifferent” as he yu likes to say. He was being practical and methodical and thinking with a logical approach, rather than an emotional one, just the way he taught himself to throughout all these years. His almost 2 decades of pure survival mode and severely repressed feelings spoke in the form of autopilot. “I would do what I have to do, what I’ve always done every day of my life so far cause what choice do I have?” Is what he meant to say.
But I believe that he’s a soft hearted, kind and loving person. He never says no his sister, never says no to his auntie, helped that homeless man as best as he could, taught he yu that he was normal and that he wasn’t a monster, believed in treating his patients with words instead of medicine prescriptions, believed that the mentally ill deserve to live normally instead of being locked up. I believe that underneath all the shit he has buried, there’s a lot of passion and love that’s been kept dormant for 19 years.
In conclusion, idk where meatbun is gonna take his character but I genuinely hope he gets to heal, and start having more color and flavor in his life. Start allowing himself to live, not just survive.
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What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.
Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛
Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.
That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.
I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.
I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.
But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.
Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:
I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao
[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]
Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:
The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”
One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.
[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]
While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)
In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:
Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”
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MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”
Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”
[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]
Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”
There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.
At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.
And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.
Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”
Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”
This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.
And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion. 
He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.
I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress. 
I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)
[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make  difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]
Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.
I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”
Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.
I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.
So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.
I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).
Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.
He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.
Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.
This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.
Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?
That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life. 
#asks#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp meta#ikevamp leonardo#ikevamp leo#ikevamp saint germain#ikevamp comte#can you tell i think too hard about these things kjhdglshf#sorry this reply took me a little longer than i meant to--but i really did want to do the topic proper justice!!#leonardo is such a dear person to me and I can't help but sympathize#people are free to disagree with this but it's just how i feel about the topic#the more i see about him in event stories--the sense this his trembling heart is slowly easing--the less i can believe such things matter#to him all that much tbh#i also think the event where he loses her is just all the more telling too?#i feel like if it really was a matter of principle and not love he would have just accepted it#humans have a v short lifespan--what can be done#sort of reaction#but that's not how he reacted at all: he was a man beside himself with dread and sadness#and even when he meets her reincarnation he can't help but want to be with her again#iirc he starts shaking at the slightest mention of when she died--and shows a lot less ability to resist the urge to turn her#so anywho brief summation is that i think this is more about so many sad boy hours and fear of widespread immortal megalomania#than it is abt hatred for immortality#he has no confidence good things can last without being warped--and that's the key issue here#'nothing gold can stay'#long post#rambles#not incorrect quotes#if you manage to read this without falling asleep i applaud you ajkhldghkfjsdg#thanks for the ask tho--i love any excuse to yell abt leo <333
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iron-sides · 3 years
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dsmp pantheon but for pjo au lets go
there is no like. ~king of the gods~ or wtv thats laaaame they are all just simply vibing
phil is like a wind god. he also is a bird king. listen hes a very powerful bird man he communes with the birds and has minor wind abilities. he has a secondary role as a god of death
-> phil doesnt really interact w mortals outside of like. because hes hanging out w techno lijkr4ed. also since techno's retired to to the camp he probably spends every other week w his wife
technoblade is a war god/the blood god this is a given. he runs the camp bc he's always been a protector of new soldiers and genuinely likes training young people. phil is there bc he follows techno around to carry the souls of those he kills to the afterlife. phil and techno are like. besties your honor, platonic life partners, whatever. him running the camp is retirement methinks
-> technoblade chooses mortal heroes that he blesses with the ability to hear the voices in battle and call upon the blood gods strength
phil's wife is the goddess of death. is she kristin, is the the samsung smart fridge, idk but shes married to phil. he comes to see her and brings her the souls of the dead as like a romantic gift, we know the deal
-> lady death has a soft spot for dead babies but shes not like. their mom? she doesnt really have kids or mortals that are "hers", shes not super interested in them. i think shes actually p cold and reserved, except to phil
drista is a trickster god, comes to earth and causes chaos until she is once again banished to the heavens- dionysus in pjo got grounded to camp half blood, drista gets grounded FROM camp half blood or whatever i end up calling the camp
-> drista picks out a mortal she likes and smacks them over the head in their early-ish childhood (before the age of ten) with her mark, thus labeling them as Hers. they may as well be a demigod at that point tbh shes technically their patron not their mom but the only difference is the dynamic lol
dristas older brother is dreamXD. i dont know anything about canon!dreamXD but im gonna make him a god of reality? bc as i understand it he comes to c!gnf in dreams or smth idk. hes probably the most powerful but idt he cares to be king of the gods- unless someone was claiming to be more powerful than him which theyre not dumb enough to do.
-> if gnf is a god, dxd never has mortal children, only blesses young adults and teens. if gnf isnt a god, dxd sometimes does blessings n sometimes has mortal children. his blessings work like how dristas do
foolish used to be a god of death before phil was, but when phil married the samsung smart fridge, he stepped down to become the god of life instead. he doesnt reign over births in any way, i think the ender dragon does that, but he like. u know. hes the totem of undying guy, ppl come to him when theyre trying to avoid death. or like, if theyre afraid someones gonna die- hes ya man
-> foolish fashions children out of clay ^^
herobrine is a god of destruction. you give up offerings to him to avoid, like, earthquakes n shit
-> herobrine curses ppl and then their kids are all herobrine descendants, inexplicably. i think there is almost definitely some kind of stigma? or smth? major downside. of being a herobrine kid bc of this.
gnf miiiight be a god of dreams or miight be the son of dreamXD i dont watch him so idk how/how much i wanna play into his and dreamXD's canon dynamic. ill have to watch some vods n talk to my datemates little sister and come back to it later
-> gnf does blessings if hes a god. his mortals have prophetic dreams :]
schlatt is a god of divine justice or punishment, he judges the dead and works w mumza to decide who gets what afterlife. i will not elaborate on why find the clip of wilbur reacting to the matpat video lij5rkefd
-> schlatt Has Kids
FUCK official minecraft lore the ender dragon is the benevolent ruler of the end in-game and here shes the god of like, birth/rebirth/life. bc her whole thing is that shes got this egg and shes protecting it.
-> the ender dragon fucks (love her so much)
lady prime is one of my favorites shes a god a wealth and of business endeavors of all kinds- genuine, scams, pyramid whatevers, if the aim is to get cash money in your pocket u should pray to her shell help u out if she likes u. very much a picker of favorites
-> lady prime Has Kids
the egg is here. its like a bad guy or smth doesnt have kids or anything but does possess ppl
@thenerdistrying pspspspsps give me ur takes
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I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...
Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.
I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.
Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 
We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:
We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 
But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 
And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.
Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”
I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 
Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.
2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?
Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 
To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.
And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 
Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.
So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.
Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.
That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 
And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?
And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?
P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.
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janiedean · 3 years
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Amazing how you can erase and twist everything someone says and not even bother to check things before launching in your 1000 words answer where you repeat the same things over and over again. When I say “Theon’s story is about destroying death”, I AM talking about his trauma and abuse. I’m not saying that Theon is a superhero, I’m saying that Theon’s story is literally about surviving and saying no to the dying of light, he’s always been trapped between life and death. How is that less meaningful than Jon being AA just because he’s special. Jon is stereotypical, not matter how much you deny it. He is the bastard son of the “good” Ned Stark that everyone seems to venerate, he becomes important, he’s actually a prince, and heir to the kingdom, he’s going to come back from the dead and apparently it’s not enough because he’s also AA. Also “I search for AA and see only Snow”, how is that not a red flag? Didn’t you think that it could be about Ramsay hiding Theon? I didn’t say that everything is about mythology and ancient literature, I said Theon has a lot of connections to it, connections that are hard not to notice, that actually make sense and are not taken out of nowhere like everyone in this fandom does. Theon’s story is about himself, not about Bran or any Stark, you’re just obsessed with throbb. Theon is connected to magic and to the gods, Theon is the rightful king of the Iron Islands, so why it’s so amusing to people when someone suggests that Theon has something to do. I’m not saying that Theon has to be important for his story to count, but why it’s so amusing to people the idea that Theon is an abuse and rape victim and at the same time he has something to do. When it comes to female victims, they want them to do great things, when it comes to Theon they constantly reduce him to poor say boy, but Theon is not like that, Theon is in pain and he wants everything to end, but he’s also angry and he wants to be free. I didn’t say that he has to explore the sea because he’s an Ironborn, you said that, not me. I think that that’s something Book!Theon would want to do if he survives everything. Because he would be free and he would go into the unknown. That’s not true Theon has no connection to the sea, the Drowned God himself wants him as king and he likes ships, there’s also the fact that he never learned how to use a ship because he was kidnapped at 10. Also what’s so wrong about him connecting with his culture? He could change things, he wouldn’t be a viking, he would be an explorer. The way you talk about it, it’s like dealing with trauma means closing himself in an house. And about the prophecy, what’s so amusing about saying that Theon has a lot that fits? I know that the prophecy is vague, but Davos and Stannis don’t come close to it as Theon does. Theon died in almost every possible way and managed to come back on his own. He keeps saying that he died in Winterfell. Read the last chapters in ACOK, it’s all there and it all happens at the same time, and still there’s so much more, so many things. And it’s like this HAS to be true, but you say no to everything, you don’t even think that he has something to do with the Iron Islands, you just think he has to “atone” to Bran, so how are you different from D&D? Theon doesn’t have to atone to Bran, Robb or anyone else called Stark, his story is about identity. And Bran is talking to Theon and yes, Theon took Winterfell, but it’s not the only reason their stories are connected, Theon taking Winterfell from Bran was a foreshadowing to them interacting in the future for different more important reasons, that was always clear to me
... anon never mind that I hadn't talked about this in ages so like you came into my inbox with some 500 words of replying at 8 am on a sunday morning and idk how *I* am supposedly twisting things when
you brought this out of nowhere
I hadn't talked about the AA thing nor anything wrt theon's ending in like... a year
you are basically making up half of what I said or didn't because like 'oh I didn't say he had a tying to the sea because he's an ironborn' but two lines later you say 'what's the issue if he reconnects with his ancestry' which.... means that he'd have a tie to the sea because he's an ironborn so what's the truth here
'you're obsessed with throbb' I didn't mention robb once in my entire answer nor throbb nor I have written throbb meta recently like... I ship throbb but I don't see how that has any relevance to an answer where I literally didn't mention it and I said theon's sl can't be just about the starks
idk why you seem to think I have great stakes re jon snow and 'he's stereotypical no matter how much you say he's not', I'm saying that for a chosen one archetype he's a deconstruction so he's not stereotypical in the way h*rry p*tter is or aragorn is or whatever and it's like objective text and honestly I have fic to write and stuff to do and I could have like completely ignored your ask and said 'I think you're wrong' instead yesterday I spent half an hour answering you like... you don't need to sound that aggressive or come at me with this entire block of text when I wasn't even the one starting this conversation
what’s so amusing about saying that Theon has a lot that fits?
anon I explained in those 1k reply or whatever all the reasons why everything theon has that fits is something every single other character has at that point dany has the exact same reasons for fitting it and I told you all the reasons why jon has extra things that fit that no one else has, like.... it's my opinion, I haven't changed my mind since 2012 on it, you aren't going to change it and no one is until grrm writes different, you don't need to convince me or look for me to validate your reading because you can have whichever reading you want and no one stops you, I just don't think it's correct, the end
The way you talk about it, it’s like dealing with trauma means closing himself in an house.
anon you keep on saying I say that but you are aware that if I say I want char X to get their little house in the village/woods/city of their choice and grow strawberries with their loved ones and be happy I'm not saying what you said and I'm talking abt endgame? jaime and brienne both also deal with trauma and when I say that I hope they get married on tarth have fifteen kids and never set foot in a court again I'm not saying having children is the only way to deal with trauma like.... one thing is the endgame one thing is how you get there, where did I say theon is gonna lock himself in a cottage in wow and stay there until ados? nowhere, like.... please a bit of chill here? you read a thing and arbitrarily decided it meant stuff it doesn't mean but I am the one twisting and erasing? like sorry but it sounds like you want a fight about it or smth and believe me fighting about who is AA is not on my list of to-do things for today, also 'I died in winterfell' is like... yeah, theon greyjoy died in wf then he became reek then he became theon again, it's metaphorical, jon literally died, also like if AA wasn't a main fiver then it'd probably be someone completely out of left field that no one gaf about and for that matter there's a character who has been dying and coming back to life who has a flaming sword since like acok, but do I see you telling me it's textual proof beric is AA? no, but that would make more textual sense than theon imvho so *shrug*
in short: anon sorry but it sounds like being that theon is your fave - which... I mean he's in my top three so I agree that he's a great fave choice - you want him desperately to have the main role in the main storyline which is imvho not the case and again... even if jon was stereotypical (which we can argue on but like... from your wording I think you hate jon ngl which fair enough everyone has their dislikes) it wouldn't make the textual evidence less evidence and like... idk how to say it nicely but not liking the protagonist is more common than not and if you don't whatever but that doesn't mean he's not and that the textual stuff indicating he has the mystical hero storyline doesn't exist, I'd suggest you make peace with that concept and with the concept that your fave doesn't need to have any specialness in their sl to be a legitimate fave, also like... in asoiaf everyone who is special™ has a shit life and when grrm says he wants a bittersweet ending like in lotr, do I have to remind anyone what was lotr's ending? samwise gamgee goes back to his little house and children and wife in the shire and says he's home and we're all happy that the dude who deserved it most got it great, if that's what he's aiming for I really don't think presuming everyone gets the magical great™ storyline is in the cards X°D but most of all: again, everyone who's had a sl being full of magic prophecies and shit in these books has had a crap life and hated every second of it that was related to those prophecies and I want theon to be happy at the end so in lack of any imvho text proof that says it's anyone but jon I'll stick with that because it means none of my faves is in line to hate their life, which is exactly what happens to jon if he's AA and exactly what I think is gonna happen and I don't particularly like that for him either bc I do want jon to have nice things but idt he'll get them, doesn't mean I'm trying to find any textual reason to decide on my own that AA is dany (a char I care a lot less about) so that she gets the brunt of it because that's now how it works, I made peace with it too X°D
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nineteenninety-six · 4 years
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hey babe,can u write somthing where , a time after grace dies,lizzie is there to help tommy, hoping one day he will love her back,them he meets the oc, and behave like he used to,when he first meet grace and lizzie gets jealous? btw,love ur writing
I made Lizzie into crazy bitch, I’m so sorry.
Also thank you for 700 followers! You guys are the best! I promise once my deadlines end, I’ll post more frequently <3 
Also, has anyone been having problems in receiving notifs that you’ve been tagged in smth? Like I’ve gotten the odd email but other than that I haven’t got anything, so I’m sorry if you’ve tagged me in something and I haven’t responded :((
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REVITALIZE
Tommy was drowning in the pain of losing Grace. The love of his life and the mother of his son was gone and it was his fault. He couldn’t sleep and he self-medicated with alcohol, he knew he should do better, especially for his who cried at night for his mother but he couldn’t pull himself out of the hole he was in. 
He also knew he was pushing the limits of his family’s patience and sympathy, they knew he was going through hell but they weren’t going to enable his destructive behaviour and after his disappearing act to Ireland, they were at their breaking point. John and Ada had also lost their significant others but who he was as a person prevented him from reaching out for help.
When he woke up one day stinking of sweat and vomit and having no recollection of the past week did he finally decide to do something. Anything was better than drinking himself sick every day so he stuck himself in work. He spent more than half the day in his office or off somewhere in the country for business and only came home for a few hours each day to spend time with Charlie. Being home was painful as it only held memories of Grace but he could not find it in himself to sell the house, the memories were painful but he wanted Charlie to grow up there. 
Despite his distracted mind, he wasn’t oblivious to Lizzie’s actions. The woman thought it was a great opportunity to place herself within the family and try to get with him but he wasn’t worried as she had been trying to get into the family as long as he had known her and she had tried her way with each of the older Shelby brothers but to no avail.  
After a long day immersing himself with work, the last person he expected to see was his Polly. He knew she came around often to check up on him and make sure he was feeding himself and that Charlie was okay but finding her in his office caught him off guard.
“Pol.” He said as a greeting, “What can I do for you?”
“The staff here aren’t equipped enough to raise Charlie, I think you should hire a nanny.” Polly, as usual, went straight to the point.
“A nanny?” Tommy scoffed, “I don’t need help raising my son, Polly.”
“You’re barely here enough to see him when he’s awake, Thomas. Charlie needs round the clock care at his age and the maids you have aren’t good enough to do it.” Polly argued
“So what, you want me to waste my time conducting interviews for nannies?”
“No. I’ve already done it and she’ll arriving on Saturday.” Polly stood up from her seat and made her way to the door, “Make sure you’re there to greet her and you’re sober.”
With that, Polly left his office and Tommy listened to the clicks of her heels until she left the house. He hated to admit it but Polly was right, Charlie needed a nanny and him denying it didn’t solve the situation. 
When Saturday came, Tommy and Charlie stood on the steps outside the house and watched as a car drove down the long driveway before pulling to a stop in front of them. Polly stepped out first and she was shortly followed by a young woman around Ada’s age. The woman politely smiled at the driver who passed her, her bags before she followed Polly to where he stood.
“Tommy, this is (Y/N). Charlie’s nanny.” Polly introduced them to each other.
“Hello, Mr Shelby.” (Y/N) greeted the man and smiled at Charlie who was looking at her curiously
Tommy merely nodded before he turned around and walked into his house. Charlie poked his head over his father’s shoulder, still curious about the new woman. 
“Don’t take it personally, that’s just how Tommy is,” Polly explained, not wanting the poor woman to think she upset Tommy in some way.
“Come. I’ll show you around the house and introduce you to the staff.” Polly walked into the house and motioned her to follow.
Once she had gotten the tour of the large house and introduced to the staff, Polly had taken her to the family room where Tommy and Charlie had escaped to. (Y/N) didn’t know what to think of Tommy Shelby, everything she was told about him came from his aunt but she could tell that there was hurt within him that didn’t just come from the death of his wife.
“I’ll be going then. Give me a call if there are any problems.” Polly smiled at (Y/N) before she turned to her nephew and shot him a look, “Behave.”
They sat in awkward silence, neither of them willing to speak first. (Y/N) was too nervous and Tommy didn’t care about the nanny enough to strike up a conversation. It wasn’t until Charlie made his way over to the new nanny did the awkward silence in the room end.
“Hello, sweetie.” (Y/N) cooed at the little boy who toddled his way over to her, “It’s very nice to you meet you.”
The boy giggled and grabbed her hand before he attempted to haul himself up onto her lap and once he had gotten on, with a little help from (Y/N), he shuffled forward and pressed his small hands over her face, as if he was mapping it out.
Tommy silently watched as his son and the nanny began to get to know each other, the little boy was utterly fascinated with her and it was rather adorable. He had never seen Charlie act like that with a new person ever and he unsure how he felt about it.  He was unsure of how he felt about the nanny as well, she was pretty and so far gotten on well with Charlie but he was going to be cautious until he knew she could be trusted. 
As the months went by, Tommy found himself getting closer to the nanny, he wouldn’t say he liked her but there were times he did feel soft for her. Her relationship with Charlie also become closer, the little boy refused to be out of her arms for the most part and you could always hear his bubbly laughter and squeals during the day. 
Though like always, Tommy’s brief moment of happiness didn’t last long and it’s disruptor came in the form of a storm named Lizzie. The woman noticed the change in Tommy’s behaviour coincided with the arrival of the new nanny was it was safe to say she was fairly miffed at the woman’s effect on Tommy. 
For years, Lizzie had been trying to become a member of the Shelby family in some way, she had offered to get married to John and said that she’ll look after his kids but that was quickly foiled by Tommy. Tommy had also used her services a few times before Grace came back and there were moments where she hoped she might become pregnant but she didn’t and now that Grace was dead, she hoped she had another chance but the new nanny was making that difficult. 
Tommy’s late nights at the office no longer existed, he always left early enough so he could arrive back at Arrow House before Charlie was put to bed and along with the fact that Tommy’s shoulders weren’t always tense and he smiled easier, made her burn in jealously. She wanted to be the one was behind his positive behaviour changes and she would even bet that the nanny didn’t even know the effect she had. Hell, Tommy probably didn’t even know how much he’s changed.
Tommy was off in London so Lizzie decided to put the nanny where she thought she belonged. 
Lizzie loudly knocked on the front door of Arrow House and pushed past Mary who had opened the door.
“Is Tommy in?” Lizzie pulled off her coat and rudely passed it to the housekeeper.
Lizzie walked around the foyer, her heels loudly clicking against the floor as her eyes took everything in.  
“No.” Mary was unamused, “But you’re his secretary and you should have already known that.”
Lizzie shot Mary a nasty glare and began to round her but was interrupted by soft footsteps and quiet giggles. (Y/N) walked into the foyer and Charlie ran in after her, they had been playing tag and the little boy had been running after his nanny.
“Mary? Is there a problem?” (Y/N) asked as she walked closer to the housekeeper.
“I’m looking for Tommy.” Lizzie interrupted.
“Well, he’s not here.” (Y/N) frowned.
“Miss Stark knows this. She’s Mr Shelby’s secretary.” Mary wasn’t holding back.
Lizzie scowled, “How dare you--”
“Mary, would you be able to entertain Charlie for me for a few moments? I shall deal with Miss Stark, it shouldn’t take long.” (Y/N) interrupted.
Mary narrowed her eyes at Lizzie before she slowly nodded, she unceremoniously through Lizzie’s jacket to the side on one of the chairs that rested there before she gently began to guide Charlie away.
“Is there a message I could pass to Mr Shelby for you?” (Y/N) asked, after she was sure Charlie and Mary were safely away
“No. I actually came here to speak to you.” Lizzie sauntered over to where (Y/N) stood.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” Lizzie rolled her eyes, “Listen, nanny. I don’t know who you think you are, waltzing in here, acting as you’re a member of this family.”
“I-i don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m only here to look after Charlie.”
“And then what? You plan to seduce Tommy and slip into his bed?” Lizzie stalked towards (Y/N) and pressed her against the wall.
“Seduce?!” (Y/N) didn’t know what to think.
“Stop acting clueless and innocent! I’ve had my sight on Tommy Shelby for years and I won’t let some tart that’s been picked up off of the street to take that from me!”
(Y/N) could only gape in shock at the woman who stood in front of her. Lizzie was red in the face and her hands were shaking in anger.
“Lizzie.”
Tommy’s voice caught both of the women’s attention, their heads whipping to the door where he stood. 
He walked to where they were standing, (Y/N) was still pressed against the wall and Lizzie had taken a few steps back as Tommy made their way over to them.
“Want to explain why you’ve got my nanny corned to the wall?” Tommy’s face wasn’t betraying anything but his voice held a warning not to lie to him.
“We’re just having a talk.” Lizzie straightened out her clothes like she hadn’t been caught threatening someone.
Tommy’s calm facade crumbles at her lie and he glares at her, “I warned you not to lie, Lizzie. Now, I want you to leave my house and I’ll deal with you on Monday.”
“Tommy--” Lizzie began to defend herself.
“Lizzie out!” Tommy roared, making both women jump.
Lizzie quickly ran out of the house, so focused on leaving as fast as she could, that she left her coat behind. 
When the door slammed shut behind her, Tommy turned to (Y/N) who was still stood against the wall.
“Are you okay?” He held his arm out for her to take and when she did, he guided her into the family room, calling for one of the maids to bring her some tea.
“Yeah…” (Y/N) nodded, “How much did you hear?”
“Most of it,” Tommy admitted, “But I’ll make sure she’s dealt with.”
“She seemed determined.” (Y/N) quietly noted
Tommy sighed, “Yeah, that’s Lizzie but she overstepped the line here. I apologize.”
(Y/N) smiled at him, “You don’t have to apologize on her behalf it’s fine but I would like an apology from her.”
Tommy raised an eyebrow, “It won’t be sincere.”
“No, but it’ll be humiliating.” (Y/N) smirked, “What do you think about inviting your whole family around to watch?”
Tommy couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, “You won’t hear any complaints from me. Or them for that matter.”
It was at that moment, Tommy finally realized how much (Y/N) had an effect on him. He smiled more and felt less strung up. She was a blessing in disguise.
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coco96 · 4 years
Text
LDAF - TS Romantic
Special First Date (Tony Stark X Fem!Reader) Request: … where Tony meets the readers child from a previous relationship?   If the child is on the younger side it would be great. (Like three or fourish)   Just something fluffy and warm with Tony and the kid hitting it off really well!
Pressure Due to Age (Tony Stark X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Age difference Request: Hey could i request a tony stark x younger reader? … The press think he’s using her for sex or looks or smth but he actually just loves her for who she is. …
Nightmares (Tony x Fem!Reader) Warnings: Death, nightmares Request: … reader who is one of the avengers and lisves in the tower has horrible nightmare and tries to find someone to help her, she randomly enters Tony rooms and wakes him up crying and hugs him because she is super affraid and Tony inside is super happy and fluffie with her because he is secretly in love ? …
Choosing (Steve X Fem!Reader X Tony) Warnings: Violence Request: … Tony and Steve both in love with the reader and one day they go fighting and running over the reader and start explaining her why she has to be in a relationship with each of them and fight and hug he reader, and dont let the other to touch her, and finally the reader tells them she is confussed and needs time to make up her mind! LOVE YA AGAIN <3
I Still Love You (Tony X Reader) Warnings: Break in. Request: … tony and the reader being childhood best friends and than losing contact during college due to them taking different paths to then find each other again under dangerous circumstances and having hurt feelings because they now feel whole after all this years. Since they never stopped loving each other.
The Set Up Plan (Tony X Reader) Warnings: Jealousy, mild swearing Request: … tony having a crush on the reader, but not confessing because he thinks the reader will reject him cuz if his playboy reputation. Avengers know this so they make him jealous which leads to him confessing his feelings to the reader?? leads to fluff?? I rlly like ur writing!!!
A Little Protective (Tony Stark X Fem!Reader) Request: Tony stark x reader where the reader is like only 5'3" and tony is worried she’ll get hurt on a mission, but she took self defense classes since her teenage years so shes able to take down anyone who comes near her
Stuck (Tony Stark X Reader) Request: … reader and tony get stuck in an elevator, and somehow tony ends up confessing his feelings and they kiss. …
Arc Reactor (Tony X Wife!Reader) Warnings: Operation Request: … being with Tony when he gets the arc reactor removed and their being minor complications when the Reactor is removed but he pulls through and the reader and their teenage daughter is with him when he comes out and his daughter   being super worried about him after thinking her dad wasn’t going to make it.
You’re Perfect (Tony Stark X Curvy!Reader) Warnings: Bullying, Self consciousness Request: … He’s been seeing the reader for a few months and it baffles people cause she’s nothing like his typical women. She dresses casual, bad table manners and a crude sense of humor plus she’s short and curvy? She starts hearing rumors about their relationship and feels self conscious and asks why he chose her. She reassures her and tells her that it’s refreshing to be with someone real and he loves her.
He’s Younger (Tony X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Jealousy Request: … Tony/reader in which they have been dating for a long time , the reader is much younger than him, so he is insecure, Pietro joins the team and hangs out a lot with the reader because of their age and Tony gets really jealous and confront him first tellin him to back off and then confronts her because think she thinks he is too old and fluffy stuff :3
Father Daughter Time (Tony Stark X Daughter X Reader) Warnings: Mentions of sickness, and vomit Request: ... They’re married and have a baby. While tony has the baby for a few hours she throws up all over him and he’s horrified and the team just laughs at him.
Arc Reactor (Tony X Wife!Reader) Warnings: Operation Request: ... Tony when he gets the arc reactor removed and their being minor complications when the Reactor is removed but he pulls through and the reader and their teenage daughter is with him when he comes out and his daughter   being super worried about him after thinking her dad wasn’t going to make it.
Comfort (Tony X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Giving birth Request: Tony Stark comforting you as you give birth to his baby?
Care For A Date? (Tony X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader is completely in love with snarky Stark but she’s super shy and the other Avengers can tell so they tell Tony and Tony takes the reader on a really romantic and expensive date? ...
I’m Here Now (Tony X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of PTSD and meltdown Request: Can you do one where Tony always has to be touching the reader (even in a innocent way) and one day she goes out without telling him, and he ands a meltdown until she calms him down.
Shared Feelings (Tony X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader is younger than Tony (liked early 20s not teen or anything) and he’s head over heals for her and always trys to buy her love, but she doesn’t need that because she already loves him❤❤
I Still Love You (Tony X Reader) Warnings: Break in. Request: ... tony and the reader being childhood best friends and than losing contact during college due to them taking different paths to then find each other again under dangerous circumstances and having hurt feelings because they now feel whole after all this years. Since they never stopped loving each other.
Yoga (Tony X Pregnant!Reader) Request: ... she’s taking prenatal yoga classes and Tony is being really overprotective. Thanks in advance.
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Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note
I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes
Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now
“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u
“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??
“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do
Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 
I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That
“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light
“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss
Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh
Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that
“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 
It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 
Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L
“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 
OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)
Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it
“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG
Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already
I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 
“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN
“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man
Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this
I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack
“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 
“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 
What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you
Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 
Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????
Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow
This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity
Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy
SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER
Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families
“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops
 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me
I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)
JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?
“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood
I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex
“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 
Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched
Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 
“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 
Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops
OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE
Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess
Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 
Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 
Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass
Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 
“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable
Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love
“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 
“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 
Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo
“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out
HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show
“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD
This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder
“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 
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The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding
Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life
“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’
Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him
FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE
THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)
“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while
“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights
“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 
Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women
Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face
“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you
"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring
“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them
Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 
I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)
Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces
“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔
MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day
“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 
Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!
The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world
“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 
“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)
Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!
“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP
Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch
Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 
Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 
“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 
They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it
I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(
“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN
“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 
In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!
Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 
Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye
AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh
Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light
Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 
BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 
Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH
“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY
Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 
“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!
“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)
This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:
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OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 
I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 
“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)
Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao
Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you
“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother
“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER
“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 
Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 
Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too
The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook
“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo
It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’
“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful
Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 
Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭
“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 
Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao
HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  
“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 
I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 
Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 
“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 
Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)
Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 
Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money
Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 
How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 
Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”
Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 
“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 
“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail
“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show
“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI
“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater
Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’
“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)
Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔
“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law
This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare
Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 
“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 
As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe
“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)
Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 
“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 
Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened
“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute
Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show
Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God
“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer
Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((
Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)
LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”
Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!
Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.
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missinghan · 4 years
Text
「 what am I // stray kids 」
❖ genre : sci-fi; superpower au; platonic relationship au
❖ word count : 3,9k (bullet points only)
❖ warning : explicit language, most likely ain’t scientifically true at all
❖ summary : superpowers manifest in certain individuals once they hit puberty and naturally, those odd abilities will vanish as soon as adulthood occurs; but how will those teenagers protect themselves from the curiosity of science?
❖ a/n : this isn’t a proper fic since I don’t think I’ll actually write smth decent out of this but I don’t want the idea to rot inside my dungeon either- so yea, bear with me through this character intro post(?)
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— bang chan ↠ locating ability-wielders & teleportation
· sometimes when he’s running errands for his parents, chan can feel a distinct ‘zing’ ins his bones if someone else with unusual abilities is nearby and can describe their power perfectly to the t; he ignores it at first but learns to make do with it eventually; can teleport another person with him and also needs to calculate carefully before teleporting because he once ends up in the middle of a freeway instead of school resulting from lack of sleep.
· looks intimidating but is the first to talk to a new kid in class and show them around as he’s president of the school’s student council; smiles and laughs a lot once you get to know him, and is also very caring, reliable.
· he wishes to apply for a music production company after his college graduation but his family turned the idea down almost immediately and sent him to a boarding school in Europe.
· chan starts taking notice in strange things at his new school after the first few weeks; for example: how they unreasonably force students to have a daily health checkup, how their food taste like medicine most of the times, teachers don’t really seem to care about what they’re teaching and some of his classmates mysteriously ‘move away’ whenever security shows up at their dorm in the middle of the night.
· after finding out where they actually are via photos of students being locked up inside cells, arms and legs chained up like domestic animals, injected with odd substances on a daily basis which were taken by an anonymous individual, chan secretly packs his stuff and decides to ditch this so-called boarding school for good.
· he works hard to hide his identity ensuing flying back to his hometown for a solid three weeks and the fact that there are more people cursed with supernatural abilities begins dawning onto him; cutting off contact with his family completely, moving from one crusty apartment to another every month, chan tackles this crazy idea of assembling a group consisted of extraordinary people to give him a hand with creating a safe environment for the ‘gifted’ youths.
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— lee minho ↠ collapse
· law major, quite the loner, raised by a single mother; didn’t have much since little but his mother’s love and affection make up for everything.
· looks intimidating, is actually intimidating; the only person he talks to in college is his dance coach, doesn’t like school nor has many friends; his slightest glare is as cold as a wife trying to win custody of her children in court.
· minho can make his surroundings crumble and fall apart with his mind, which shouldn’t be confused with telekinesis since he can’t physically move objects to his will; this deadly power is triggered whenever he’s experiencing extremely negative emotions like fear or anguish and he’s not (still isn’t) very good at getting a hold of it.
· a group of suspicious men shows up at his house one day as he returns home from dance practice; they claim to be an agency looking for up and coming talents but by the way that his mother is staring at the ground nervously with her legs trembling, his institution tells him that something’s off.
· he firmly declines their offer with a stiff “I’m uncertain that I’m the talent you gentlemen are looking for, but you should know that when the cops are here to fill out their reports, I’m gonna be very helpful, as helpful as possible.”
· “what other random merry of fucking misdemeanors are going to pop up once they go through your records? domestic violence? illegal substances and weapons possession? human trafficking?”
· with a gun to her head, his mom scrambles to her knees and begs him to go with them, admitting that she’s already signed the contract; if he follows their orders and agrees to become an experimental subject, she won’t have to worry about any financial problems for the rest of her life.
· in the heat of the moment, they ultimately force him to activate his power for the very first time; as a result, his house collapses, the death of his only family and the group of men following suit.
· “I’m too late.”
· chan manages to find minho under the aftermath, severely injured and is hanging by a string of life so fragile that can only be saved after undergoing a twelve-hour operation at the hospital.
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— seo changbin ↠ sound waves manipulation
· a good student, reputable within his social sphere at school, and comes from a pretty well-off family.
· changbin is able to bend and control sound waves to his advantage; whether it’s simply for his musical instruments or moving objects around, he can also use something as minor as his own heartbeat when he’s emotionally unstable; using the ability continuously for too long can give him severe migraines and potentially damage his brain to a degree if he’s not mindful of it.
· he stays up late at night to write and produce his own songs, keeping it a secret from his parents; posts his own songs on a SoundCloud account, or performs even live at a random underground club under the alias SpearB if he has the chance to.
· an organization full of outlaw scientists comes across a video of his performance on the web, analyzing how he can enhance the beat, his vocal cords without the help of any form of technology, and just like that, he easily tops the list of their targets.
· having no choice but to do what they want when those men hold his parents hostage inside his family’s mansion, changbin gets sent to the same boarding school as chan but they’re being observed in different buildings for his power is on the more useful and dangerous side; hence, his classes consist of a smaller amount of students and they are put through checkups more constantly.
· he doesn’t really pay attention to the skepticisms that reek off all over the place as he’s too busy being homesick and studying because he fully believes that the harder he works, the more obediently he acts, the sooner they’ll let him go; all hell breaks loose when those photos are scattered everywhere, from the hallways to the bathrooms; changbin takes advantage in the riot to get himself out of there as quickly as he can possibly run to the airport.
· changbin swears to never trust anyone again until chan and minho find him sleeping inside an abandoned grocery store with a pistol inside his sleeping bag, two daggers concealed in his sleeves at all times.
· “are we seriously going to contain some headass who was this close to blowing my brain out of my head?”
· “huh, funny, last time I checked, you almost smothered me to death under a gigantic block of cement when I was trying to save your life.”
· “who are you guys and how the hell did you get in here? I don’t recall not locking the door.”
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— hwang hyunjin ↠ permeation & memory manipulation
· a true theater kid, meaning he knows almost everyone but every single student at school knows him; naturally, becomes the Prince after playing one too many male lead roles because of his godly features; rather well-mannered and diligent though he doesn’t look like it.
· mistaken to be a player by every new batch of freshmen that only ever gets to watch him practicing his lines from afar, swooning tremendously whenever he ties up his hair; always carries a camera around, doesn’t like to have too many friends but if you get close enough, he’s probably the most fun to be around, won’t ever judge your questionable life choices.
· hyunjin’s ability allows him to walk right through walls as well as any other solid matters but it will drain his stamina painstakingly, causing him to run short on breaths after using his power to change his costumes faster between scenes; the thicker the wall is, the more strength it takes for him to pass through completely.
· he can also erase a certain chunk of memory from someone’s mind but he needs to physically touch them; has only used this ability one time to wipe his existence out of a childhood best friend’s mind before moving away from his hometown. 
· his interest in photography sparks the moment his uncle comes back from a business trip and gives him a toy camera, it’s nowhere near the real ones but the ten-year-old hwang hyunjin sure takes it very, very seriously; after a decade or so, he has replaced it with cameras that actually work and developed quite the talent for taking photos of sceneries and people (jisung is his number one victim but he can’t care less as long as he looks decent and that hyunjin won’t save any crack ones to blackmail him).
· suddenly gets a sketchy summer scholarship to a boarding school in London (the same so-called school that Chan and Changbin went to), his mom encourages him to go after looking it up on the internet without knowing the chances of her own son being exploited for twisted science is shockingly high.
· and the culprit who takes those photos during a wandering around school after curfew is none other than hyunjin himself; he knows damn well posting those photos means getting himself into trouble but heck, his conscience forbids him to leave this hell-on-earth place without alerting these innocent people.
· so the night before those photos are spread everywhere, in every corner, every edge of the building, hyunjin smashes his camera completely with a baseball bat and burns the broken bits in the school backyard; he tries getting through those sleep-deprived men in their fifties who aren’t likely paid enough with his ability and flees.
· surprisingly, he comes rushing into his best friend’s house right after his horrendous flights only to find him being surrounded by three mysterious men.
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— han jisung ↠ plunder
· the jokester of the class, takes great joy in stressing the living daylights out of his professors with irrational questions that aren’t necessarily relevant to the lesson, procrastinates, and sleeps through lessons like there’s no tomorrow but still keeps that shiny ‘A’ on his report card nonetheless.
· being friends with hyunjin results in occasional admirers here and there for him but he does kinda have his own fandom base after being pulled upstage out of the blue in the middle of last year’s spring music festival, musing him an opportunity to show off his rapping skills; because of that event, he takes writing music more seriously with the stage name J.One.
· if jisung is being honest, he hardly uses his power since it’s basically taking over anyone’s body and mind for a maximum of five seconds meanwhile his own body is immobile; and if any physical effects occur (for example, a basketball hits him on the head spontaneously), he’s obligated to endure that pain for that person until they become conscious of their own body again.
· he’s not a creep, he swears.
· and who knows? what if his body gets kidnapped within those five seconds?
· hyunjin and jisung know about each other’s ability but don’t really discuss nor talk about them because they don’t find walking through walls or temporarily possessing someone’s body cool.
· well, that’s that until chan, minho and changbin show up at his house the same day when hyunjin returns from his summer exchange program with a cut lip and bruised knuckles. 
· “han jisung, you’re going to have to come with us unless you want to live inside a cage for the rest of your life.”
· “I’m sorry, are you threatening me?”
· “we’re trying to protect you, smartass, you’re far too dangerous to be roaming the streets so freely.”
· “....me? I’m dangerous?”
· jisung not knowing the slightest bit about his own ability downright baffles chan—he’s only scratched the surface of it at this point; his true potential is if he’s taking over another ability-wielder’s body, he will then take their power for himself; and jisung can’t remember the last time he properly uses it either.
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— lee felix ↠ imperfect invisibility
· initially lives in Australia but after finding out about his ability, he moves to Seoul with his parents to live a quieter, more covered-up life without being surrounded by too many relatives.
· an absolute sweetheart, smart, kind, honest, a little slow to read in between the lines at times; can concentrate relatively well on an empty stomach, but gets drowsy quickly after eating, especially big meals. 
· lix is also homeschooled up until high school in order to avoid any unwanted situation; later on, applies for a course that can be taken online for the most parts at an average-ish university to not draw so much attention. 
· since he stays at home most of the time, he spends lots of time playing different video games, experiences random cooking recipes without burning the house down, and teaches himself how to dance through online tutorials, getting awfully good at it fast partially thanks to his natural flexibility.
· he can disappear from a single person’s field of vision for as long as he wants to but it’s still limited and considered flawed since felix can only disappear from the sight one person of his choice at a time; although it can come in quite handy whenever he gets shoved into a dark alleyway by random people varying from cheap pickpockets with a box-cutting knife to muscular men dressed in black.
· learns boxing during middle school so he can still kick asses to preserve his own life.
· felix once punches jisung in the gut and slaps hyunjin in the face with a cabbage after seeing them follow each and every one of his movements the moment he steps out of the supermarket—he’s got used to listening to people’s footsteps over time. 
· “okay, first of all, ow, and second of all, why did I get the punch and he got the cabbage?!”
· “oh, don’t be such a baby.”
· “you two don’t look like those balding dudes in money-dripping black suits...what are you on? crack? what do you want from me? money? food?”
· “of course we’re not balding men in their forties! I take personal offense to that! and please, who do you take me as? a total creep who only ever knows how to follow people with his stupid sidekick tagging along for background noises?”
· “HEY! I NEVER AGREED TO BE YOUR SIDEKICK!”
· “well, it’s time you fucking did then, han.”
· “you know, I suppose this is the part where you two put me to sleep with some kind of drug and bring me back to your excuse of a headquarter.”
· “oh, did you bring the anesthetic pills?”
· “I thought Changbin gave it to you, no?”
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— kim seungmin ↠ time-leap
· born in a middle-class family, very studious but also enjoys playing baseball during retreats, takes time to open up to people so he has more acquaintances than close friends but he doesn’t mind, that way he has more time for himself. 
· definitely and never will be the kid who lets his classmates take advantage of his wit, he does do a good chunk of every group project but makes sure everyone has at least one decent thing to do (low-key loves bossing people around); can be pretty distant at first, but he just weirds people out after getting closer and doesn’t hold grudges.
· seungmin is capable of bringing himself back to a specific past event to alter the future outcome though it won’t work most of the time unless he really, really has to for safety purposes or the situation gets out of hands; time-leaping won’t activate if he wants to retake a test but works like a charm when he tries to save a kid on the street from a car accident.
· actually does deep, proper research into other ability-wielders and often stays in school during nighttime to read the news, articles or anything that he can find on the web to learn about how that one cryptic boarding school in Europe that’s accused of abusing their students got shut down all of a sudden, the students never return and family members never bother to look for them. 
· hence, he adapts to hiding his ability and himself fairly well—never takes the late-night buses, doesn’t try to become close and bond with other people, asks his parents to change the door lock every month, burns bills each time he purchases something but he tries not to go out as much as possible. 
· seungmin has seen hyunjin use his power once by accident but decided to say nothing about it; eventually finds chan’s headquarter (which is just his crusty apartment) by following jisung and hyunjin after their practice hour, baffles them all a little but joins in no time. 
· after asking hyunjin to erase his parents’ memory about himself, seungmin gives everyone a hand for their plan of building a school and campus, completely safe and under the radar for other ability welders until their adolescence is over; he time-leaps back to back in order to collect as much information about lottery tickets as he can.
· another flaw occurs when he travels to the past for the third time: his eyesight gets weaker and weaker every time he time-leaps so he starts wearing glasses as a temporary resolution but chan stops him when he tries to do it for the fifth time, saying that they would rather work hard for a little longer than have seungmin lose his vision forever. 
· after over a year or so, they successfully repurchase an education organization and officially establish an exclusive academy for ability-wielders, reaching out to those individuals before scientists can get a hold of them. 
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— yang jeongin ↠ superhuman speed
· the quiet kid who most likely won’t talk unless the teacher asks him to answer a question or someone tells him to let them copy his homework; has his earbuds in most of the time to pretend he can’t hear what people are saying so he won’t have to interact with them. 
· joins after you when chan finds him hitting a wall head-on at an abnormal speed while trying to save a kitten in the middle of the streets. 
· jeongin has extremely enhanced agility and reflexes but he still lacks accuracy for he is naturally a clumsy person; therefore, changbin tells him to wear a protective layer under his uniform so even in the worst-case scenario, he can jump off a building and make it out with minor scratches. 
· reluctantly buys lunch for every member of the student council (aka 00 liners + you) on a daily basis although he can’t really see which kind of sandwiches he’s grabbing at and they end up being mushy most of the time. 
· and for those people who say his resting face is scary, he’s mainly just frustrated because of his friends. 
· also usually is the one who returns with the most injuries because of his own ability—he always flees like his life depends on it to save jisung’s ass from being hit by a truck and hyunjin’s camera from being crushed (the sole purpose of the student council will be explained more thoroughly later).
· has single-handedly saved everyone inside a bookstore when a sudden fire breaks out. 
· minho scolds him and felix a lot for spending too much time at the arcade after school instead of doing their required tasks. 
· acts all tough and mature since he’s the youngest of the squad, loves to make fun of jisung for his height but still is and probably will always be a complete child who hates eating vegetables with a passion; gets yelled at a lot whenever there’s a BBQ party since he only ever eats meat. 
· “corn? why are we raiding the Asian market for corn at one AM?”
· “an outdoor, wholesome BBQ isn’t complete without corn, duh.”
· “do you want to get us caught?!”
· “oh please, they’re going to show up either way.”
· “YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!”
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— y/n (reader) ↠ telepathic manipulation
· president of the student council, stubborn, slightly less bossy than seungmin, appears to be apathetic and cranky mainly because you can’t sleep that well; with that being said, you don’t feel too tired during ungodly hours when people are tossing around in the comfort of their bed but snap at irritating people a lot in the morning if they’re making too much noise. 
· your ability allows you to control people to your will, from something as meaningless as slamming their head through a wall to life-threatening actions like forcing them to point a knife at their own throat; it’s somewhat similar to jisung’s power though you don’t have to physically feel what your target is going through and you don’t need to worry about taking over their body.
· the only downside to it is that you easily fall asleep the moment you set your target free.
· minho is the one who gets you out of the laboratory where your parents were working on a huge, secret project about individuals with supernatural abilities for an unknown organization; you’re unfortunate enough to become their first-ever experimental subject which only nourishes resentment slowly, gnawing at your sanity while you’re dreading each day behind those cold metal bars. 
· perhaps joining the student council is what makes your life less depressing, perhaps; you’re far too busy facepalming at the beautiful monstrosity of their friendship and feeding them ensuing returning to the dorm after school since those boys only know how to eat, cooking is too much for them to comprehend (albeit felix).
· when your family was still… normal, your parents sent you to martial art classes every weekend so like felix, you don’t actually need your power to save yourself from some random mobsters on the streets.
· you’re also the only person who eats vegetables properly and even tries to incorporate more fiber into their diets but as always, they never listen, especially hyunjin when it comes to green onions.
· don’t have the best reputation in the academy because the idea of letting the new girl with a seemingly useless ability become president of the student council isn’t very appealing to many people, and it doesn’t help when every member of the council is exclusively allowed to drop out in the middle of a class to ‘collect’ any ability-wielders that chan manages to locate that day since he’s always worn out with changbin and minho from boring paperwork as well as other businessy stuff.
· even when your ability is considered almost perfect, you’ve only used it once when you thought minho was going to sell you off to another place and almost made him put a bullet through his own brain; you’ve refrained yourself from using it since that day.
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Text
as long as i’m reflecting you
Summary: “I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet. I'm you, Hawks."
@hawksweek2020 day 1: Cliché
If you’d rather read on ao3 (or if you want to read my long rant in the chapter notes): https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203351
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Gen
Rating: G
Characters: Hawks, Dabi
Dabi towers over Hawks as he lies there, helpless, blue flame licking greedily at his face and wings. He can feel himself shriveling under the heat, but perhaps the worst part is this:
Takami Keigo.
Dabi knows his name. Dabi knew all along what Hawks was doing there, knows more than even his friends do—his name.
Hawks panics at the sound of Dabi’s boots crunching on the broken shards of his visor—He can’t die here! The battle is far from over, and he’s the only hero ready and equipped to deal with the aftermath. There’s not much Hawks can do, at this point, but he does have one option. Dabi needs time between using his quirk in order to recover. Use conversation, distract him, draw him in. In Hawks’s experience, villains never pass up a chance to gloat and throw their self-righteousness in everyone’s face. Get a villain talking about themself, and they won’t shut up. Even closed-off Dabi will likely blab his life story, thinking Hawks is about to die. It’s worth a shot.
“The only members of the League I found nothing on were you and Shigaraki. I found everyone else’s background, their families—but for you, I couldn’t even find a name. Who are you?”
Dabi sets a foot on Hawks’s back, leans his weight into it. Hawks pushes himself up with his hands as much as he can to prevent his ribs from snapping. He’s miscalculated. Dabi will keep his secrets over his ego. Hawks accepts his death even as he fights and pushes against it; he can’t die, but he’s going to, and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s expecting Dabi to burn him to death right there, and he’s already bracing himself and gritting his teeth against the heat. He is <em>not</em> expecting Dabi to crouch down, one foot still on Hawks’s back, and whisper:
“I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet.” There’s a warm huff of laughter on his ear that has Hawks cringing away, then— “I’m you, Hawks.”
-----------------------------
Hawks wakes up to the horrible smell of antiseptic solution and the annoying tug of compression sleeves on his leg hair. Then, of course, the swoop of vertigo that speaks of some Pretty Heavy Anaesthesia. He tries to cough the smell out of his mouth, but is met with a sore throat—more than sore, actually. It’s like someone’s taken literal sandpaper and dragged it down his entire esophagus. He gags, tries to sit up, is hit off balance by the vertigo, and promptly throws up over the side of the bed.
He leans back against his pillows and wallows in the agony his stomach acid has raked over his poor, abused, sandpapered throat.
“Can I get you anything?” asks a nurse holding a bucket. Oh, good. He’d vomited into a bucket and not all over the hospital floor.
Hawks gestures frantically to his throat with a plea in his eyes that the nurse hopefully interprets as “water,” or “cough drop,” or even, “please just slit my throat and put me out of my misery.”
The nurse hands him both water and cough drops. Hawks’s eyes water with gratitude. Well, either that or pain. Maybe both.
“Sorry, man,” says the nurse as he reaches to adjust Hawks’s blanket. “They had to do surgery on your wings, and you had a breathing tube.”
Hawks croaks in horror. “Wings!?”
“They’ll be all right. You also had some skin grafts for the burns.”
Burns. Dabi. I’m you, Hawks.
“Phone,” he demands urgently.
With his miraculously only-slightly-singed phone in his hands, Hawks shoos the nurse away and starts tapping and typing with frenzied vigor.
His google search shows him an article spotlight on him, featuring an interview with Tokoyami, who apparently saved him. Good kid, that Tokoyami. It also shows him that there were minimal casualties and that apparently the UA students were spearheading the clean-up and rebuilding of the battleground. Okay. Okay. Good, good. All of it good. 
Now, what he <em>really</em> wants to know: Dabi.
To: VP HPSC: 
get me every pic i ever sent u of dabi highest res possible asap
also the cam footage of lov hideout
To the number he’d found on Google for the news network he saw at the raid:
Hi, this is Hawks. I saw your news logo at the fight in Reika. I was wondering if you could send me any footage you managed to get of the villains. Thank you. Here’s a selfie for proof it’s me.
To: Dabi (Villain):
hey ik its a bit of a long shot but like i would love an explanation thanks xoxo <3
He knows Dabi’s claim is ridiculous. He knows, all right? What he’s actually hoping to find is some connection to Endeavor. There’s definitely <em>something</em> familiar about Dabi, and that, paired with the fire quirk, could explain it. 
The first replies he gets are the pictures and footage from the Commission. Hawks zooms in and examines Dabi’s hair. He always knew it was dyed.The roots come in a lighter color, which would make his hair look perpetually greasy if it laid flat; but instead, it makes his spiky hair look just the slightest bit detached from his head. As he looks at the pictures, he’s surprised to realize that he was already biased toward his Endeavor explanation in his head: he was thinking Dabi’s hair was white, like the color of Todoroki Shouto’s ice side, from whoever was Endeavor’s wife. Closer scrutiny shows that it’s actually a dark blond, like Hawks’s own hair. 
That doesn’t mean anything, though.
Dabi’s aesthetically stapled under-eye bags are right in the spot where Hawks has his natural eye markings.
The one picture he managed to find of Dabi shirtless (It’s okay, Hawks reminds himself. I’m a creep with a noble cause. It was for the intel) shows that the stapled purple skin covers the part of his back where Hawks has his wings. If Dabi had wings and they were removed, purple skin grafts or whatever those were would cover up the evidence quite nicely.
And… what Hawks learned during the raid. Dabi’s weakness is his own quirk. Fire. That’s Hawks’s own biggest weakness. That’s almost too much to be a coincidence…what if…?
As he’s looking over the Commission’s images, he almost drops his phone in surprise because Dabi (Villain) texts him back. 
Every intelligent thought in his head evacuates in favor of wtfwtfwtfwtf.
It’s a selfie—a close-up of Dabi’s face, right behind a hand that’s flipping him off. It’s just the puzzle piece that he needs, because the small gleam of light catches on the telltale glint of a contact lens, and Hawks can see where the edge of the blue goes lighter where it’s not covering the colorful iris underneath—Dabi’s eyes aren’t actually blue. And, what Hawks has always thought of as edgy eyeliner looks suspiciously similar to his other eye markings.
Another quick text to: Pres HPSC, VP HPSC:
i dont have any sort of long lost twin brother right??? or like an evil clone or smth??
Almost instantly, he receives a No.
It should be a relief, but his mind’s still going haywire. Dabi…is him? He is Dabi? Dabi is Hawks? Does Hawks is Dabi who? Shut up, brain, you didn’t connect shit. It Dabi, Takami Keigo Dabi Hawks… if Hawks? Who Takami Dabi… he…   
-----------------------------
Maybe I shouldn’t try thinking when I’m high on painkillers, he thinks when he wakes up. 
As he looks around, he realizes he’s been moved to a more long-term room. Instead of curtains, it has a door, and there’s a TV and a nightstand. His phone is dead and he’s not about to call the nurse to come plug it in for him, so he switches on the TV instead, not sure how much he can trust his conclusions on the outcome of the raid if he convinced himself that he was somehow Dabi in the same 10-minute timespan.
The first thing that shows up on the news channel is a report about Hawks, and he’s greeted with the atrocious selfie he took to prove his identity to the news channel. His hair is a devastated battleground and missing completely on his burned side, he’s covered in gauze and medical tape, and his smile looks half-crazed. What was he thinking?
“Hawks is recovering in an unknown hospital, but he looks to be well. The real question is, will the Number Two Hero still be able to charm without half of his famous wind-swept hair?”
“I don’t know, Motome-san. Let’s look at some footage of the battle. I’m sure any lady—or gentleman—would be charmed by someone willing to go so far to protect them.”
Hawks rolls his eyes and scowls, but doesn’t turn off the TV. If they show his fight with Dabi—if he could get a quick glimpse of him—he could turn off the idiot switch in his brain that won’t shut up. 
Instead, what he sees is a streak of red that flies into Dabi’s hand. That’s one of his feathers. Dabi controlled one of his feathers. Dabi has control of Hawks’s Fierce Wings.
To hell with his pride! Hawks repeatedly jams the help button on the side of his bed, and a nurse arrives soon after, out of breath. Hawks feels a little bad for scaring the poor man, but he needs to charge his phone. As soon as it turns back on, he sends out the text to almost every single one of his contacts.
Hi all, this is Hawks. I’ve figured out the identity of the villain Dabi. It should help you lure him out and take him down. DABI IS ME. Text me with any questions. Go after him with fire, if you can.
Within three minutes, Hawks has rejected 7 calls. Text me with any questions, he said. Not call. He won’t be speaking with his sandpaper throat for at least the next month if he has anything to say about it. 
Someone with enough manners finally texts instead of calls. It reads: omw to kill you right now. should have finished the job last time.
Oh, shit. Did he really send that message to Dabi? 
Yeah. He did.
SOS this is not a joke, he sends to the HPSC. Dabi just texted me says he’s going to kill me right now. i’m in the hospital, can’t fight. PLEASE send someone
He answers the next call from Pres HPSC. “Can’t talk,” he rasps and tastes blood on his tongue. The president talks to him and he gives one tap for yes, two taps for no.
“Do you really want us to send someone?”
One tap.
The president sighs. “Hawks, as soon as you can speak, I expect the most thorough, detailed, in-depth report you’ve ever given in your life.”
--------------------------------
With Hawks’s warning, they capture Dabi easily enough. He shows up at the hospital directly and comes face-to-face with Endeavor, who, knowing about his weakness to fire, easily takes him down.
When Hawks visits Tartarus a month later to interrogate Dabi, he wonders how he ever missed it. Without the dye and the contacts, there’s no denying that Dabi is Hawks. He’s left wondering, though.
“Why did you text me at the hospital that you were on your way to kill me? I immediately got Endeavor there. I thought you were a little smarter than that.”
Dabi just shrugs, his newly-regenerated red feathers rustling with the movement. “Obviously not. I am you, after all.”
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vacuousauto · 4 years
Note
📃🎥🏳‍🌈
tysm for tha ask molli!! ill talk abt kny here bc its takin over my life rn qwq
spoilers ahead 4 tha whole series!!
📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?
kny is a manga w an anime adaptation thats had 1 season so far n a movies bein made of my fav arc!! (also this plot desc may not b perfect bc i havent read it in like 4 months)
its abt a boy called tanjirou whos whole family got killed by a demon, n his sister nezuko got turned into a demon (which fun fact: in kimetsu theyre man-eatin creatures w different powers called blood demon arts!!)
hes sent by giyuu (a demon slayer!) 2 join tha demon slayer corps so hell become stronger n mayb get a little revenge. as a treat (and also mayb find a way 2 turn nezuko human?)
as he trains he learns how 2 do water breathing (a sword technique taught by him n giyuus mentor, urokodaki) n his final challenge is 2 cut a massive boulder in half w his sword
its real hard 4 him (as u can imagine) so 2 kids in fox masks named sabito n makomo come n help him, but after tanjirou cuts tha rock n tells urokodaki abt him its revealed theyre dead???
@ final selection (basically a demon slayer entrance exam where u win by surviving on a demon-infested mountain 4 seven days) he learns from a real fucked up demon that hes exclusively been targetin urokodakis students n that not even sabito could slice its neck open?? (thats how him n makomo died)
after tanjirou kills tha demon n basically puts all tha water breath students’ souls @ peace he passes tha exam!! its been 7 days n now he gets his nichirin blade (the only kinda sword that can kill a demon, tha only 2 ways they can die is thru a slice 2 tha neck from a nichirin blade n sunlight)
turns out nezuko was turned by the strongest demon of all, michael jackson muzan kibutsuji, n so he sets out 2 hunt him down n try 2 kill him
but he aint so strong @ first so he needs 2 try 2 take down tha twelve kizuki first (the 12 strongest demons besides muzan)
another reason he needs 2 kill tha kizuki is 2 gather their blood for a demon named tamayo n her assistant yushirou!! tamayo can make a cure if tanjirou can gather blood samples 4 her (the stronger tha demon tha more of muzans blood they have so hes gonna have 2 aim high)
he meets a bunch more slayers along tha way, includin zenitsu (a scaredy cat thunder breath user who basically simps 4 nezuko n becomes a badass when hes asleep) n inosuke (a rowdy beast breath user who wears a boar mask n lived in tha mountains)
after lower moon 5 gets killed by giyuu, nezuko unlocks her blood demon art (exploding blood!) n tanjirou remembers how 2 use tha hinokami kagura, him n nezuko get captured by a slayer called shinobu qwq
turns out she n giyuu are 2 of the nine hashira, the strongest of all tha demon slayers!! but theyre all havin a debate over whether they should kill tanjirou n nezuko 4 goin against corps rules n travelin w a demon
eventually oyakata-sama (tha leader of tha slayer corps) comes in n tells em its ok, urokodaki sent a letter explainin that nezukos never hurt anyone n if she does, tanjirou giyuu n urokodaki all have 2 die basically
oyakata-sama also tells em that tanjirous met kibutsuji, at which everyone goes feral at (and understandably, none of em had ever even seen him before hes that elusive)
so they get 2 live bc theyre like. tha best hope the slayers have @ findin kibutsuji
the rest of the hashira are kyoujurou (flame), muichirou (mist), mitsuri (love), obanai (serpent), gyoumei (stone), tengen (sound) n sanemi (wind)
theres also kanao (shinobus pupil, flower breathing) n genya (sanemis brother, eats demons 2 gain power n basically become a demon temporarily, also He Has A Gun)
ive gone on a lot here so ill try 2 keep it brief now but i HAVE 2 explain infinity train or ill die (slight suicide tw but no one actually does that outside of dreams)
BASICALLY the lower 6 moons have a meetin @ kibutsujis infinity castle, muzan decides 2 dismantle tha lower moons bc they keep fuckign dying
all of em get their shit wrecked except enmu, who avoided death by usin muzans “dont tell me what 2 do” rule against him n beggin 4 death basically
so he gets a metric fuckton o blood n goes off 2 kill tanjirou
turns out he keeps killin people on his train n kyos gone 2 investigate!! the main gang (the kamaboko gang as the fandom calls it) are there too bc tanjirou needs 2 investigate what hinokami kagura really is (turns out its sun breathing, the og form and ones that only folks w the same mark on his forehead can use) n if anyone knows abt the alleged “fire breathing” as they know it rn its the fire hashira!!
so they get on tha train (inosukes lovin tha experience bc hes Literally Never Seen A Train Before) n kyo basically adopts the whole group
they take some tickets n promptly fall asleep HERES WHERE ENMUS DEMON ART COMES INTO PLAY!!! DREAM MANIPULATION BABEYYY
BASICALLY he can make people fall asleep in a buncha ways (the mouths on his hands, his weird eye thingies, the tickets) n once thats happened he n his henchmen can access said dreams (he can even control em!!) n if they find tha “spiritual core” they can destroy it n essentially leave em as an empty shell thatll never wake up!! yaaaaaay /s
he fails bc tanjirou realises a way out n its by cuttin his own head off in his dream, eventually everyones awake again n tanjirou finds enmu on tha roof(?) of tha train
after a while he does manage 2 decapitate him but surprise!!! hes not dead
turns out he literally FUSED WITH THA TRAIN n is plannin on eatin everyone inside, includin kyo n the gang
but he doesnt bc Main Protags Cant Die(tm) n dies while complainin that he wants a redo (sorry enmu, ily but u cant turn back time unless ur yoshikage kira)
also sidenote enmus tha only kizuki w/o a canon backstory as far as i can remember and????? H??
ANYWHO after that whole debacle basketball akaza (UPPER moon 3) shows himself!!! FUCK
n after all that struggle against the 8th strongest demon of all time now they gotta deal w tha 4th strongest????? damn,
so yeah it goes how youd imagine, its a tough fuckin battle n its Not Fun but it turns out kyoujurou fucking dies n i genuinely didnt realise until he said “kamado my boy, lets have one final chat” bc i was so in denial n lets face it i still am now
long story short idk how im gonna manage 2 get thru the movie w/o breakin down @ the end
anyway after that horrible horrible time tanjirou goes n meets senjurou, kyos little bro, who gives him kyos sword guard thing (its shaped like a flame!!) n i havent read it in a while so i cant FULLY remember but i think this is where he learns abt sun breathing??
after that they end up goin on a mission in tha red light district w tengen, his 3 wives are there 2 serve as spies (theyre kunoichi, which i think are ninjas of some kind??) n the boys have 2 find em
they do manage 2 find em but not after runnin into upper moon 6, who are 2 twins called daki n gyuutarou
after that fight tengen has 2 retire bc he got fucked up p bad from that fight n he wants 2 make sure tha girls are ok above all
so after that arc tanjirou n nezuko go down 2 tha swordsmith village (bc the guy who usually makes his swords is fuckin tired of repairin it) n run into mitsuri!! she tells tan that theres smth in tha forest thatll make him stronger
ngl this is tha arc i remember tha least abt so this desc is prolly SO inaccurate despite havin 2 o my favs in it)
but muichirou shows himself too n hes mean 2 tanjirou >:/ (he does get nicer eventually but 2 him specifically)
a 10 y/o kid named kotetsu shows tan this 6 armed trainin robot called yoriichi type 0 (based on tha first slayer 2 use sun breathin) n tanjirou breaks it by accident qwq
but he keeps trainin thanks 2 kotetsu but tha kids a harsh fuckin trainer ill tell u that
anyway so we have a whole buncha demons 2 deal w here except most of em are 1 demon split into different parts
hantengu n gyokko, upper moons 4 n 5 respectively!! mui deals w gyokko while mitsuri genya nezuko n tanjirou deal w hantengu
in these fights mitsuri n mui get their demon slayer marks!! these are marks that they get when they surpass the limits of tha human body n they look like tha marks demons have (muis looks like clouds on his cheeks n mitsuris is 2 hearts on her collarbone)
next up is tha hashira trainin arc!! everyone gets trained by each of tha hashira 2 try n unlock their slayer marks
each have a dif trainin style that focuses on dif stuff (for example gyoumei focuses a lot on physical strength n stuff like that, obanai is more abt accuracy) n this is where giyuus backstory gets revealed bc he doesnt think hes worthy o bein a hashira :((
basically him n sabito were absolute besties!! they both trained together n sabito basically told him not 2 die ever
but it all goes wrong @ final selection- sabito manages 2 take down every demon on tha mountain but one of em, that bein the hand demon that exclusively targets water breathers (theyre easy 2 distinguish bc of their blue haoris n custom made fox masks)
he manages 2 save giyuu n everyone else from tha selection except 4 himself (this is why giyuus haori is like that- its made from his sister n sabitos haoris)
giyuu blames himself 4 both of their deaths bc he failed 2 protect em n says that he doesnt deserve 2 have passed tha selection let alone b a hashira,, but tanjirou convinces him otherwise!! ^^
then one day while giyuus trainin w sanemi disaster hits- oyakata-sama, his wife n two of their kids just died
the 2nd to last arc- the infinity castle!! thingsre gettin real n muzans revealed himself
in tha infinity castle EVERYONES there but can u really blame em theyve been workin up 2 this 4 millenia
shinobu runs into upper moon 2- douma, aka the bastard that killed her sister as well as inosukes mum
she is. justifiably pissed. n she gives it her all but he kills her :(( douma ily but also FUCK YOU.
so perfect timing!!! heres her adopted sister!! as well as inosuke!!!! revenge battle time >:0
in the end shinobus poison is what kills him- her whole body is filled w wisteria poison thats deadly 2 a demon so he basically consumed her whole body weight in poison rip
but ofc word gets out via messenger crow that shes dead n its just a real sad moment tbh :( but theres no time 4 that bc giyuu n tanjirou just ran into akaza >:((
so tanjirous pissed as hell now n w their combined efforts they take down tha basketball lookin bastard (bastardball??)
meanwhile obanai n mitsuri (n yushirou iirc?? he uses his own art 2 control her @ some point tho i cant remember when) deal w tha new upper moon 4 (nakime, whos also shiftin tha rooms around w her blood art n makin tha fight super fuckign annoyin tbh) n muichirou genya sanemi n gyoumei deal w kokushibou (upper moon 1, also tha original sun breathers twin brother so he gets moon breathin >:3)
mitsuri n obanai fake their deaths w help from yushirou n muzan falls 4 it, which comes in handy later ;3
zenitsu also deals w his former bully, upper moon 6 aka kaigaku aka dickhead supreme who if zenitsu didnt kill i would personally kill w my bare hands
so after everyones taken down all thats left is muzan >:( muzan kills tamayo real early on n everyones goin all out on him
we also learn that he has multiple brains n hearts in his body eww
also the hashira have their marks now!! but all but sanemi n giyuu get killed n giyuu loses his arm :((((
genya also gets killed noo
eventually ofc the battle is won thanks 2 everyones relief, it took for fuckin ever bc the only way muzan can die is tha sun so they had 2 kill time n keep him out in tha sun 4 a long time
also nezukos been cured!! shes a human!! n shes comin 2 help!!
but OH GOD OH FUCK MUZAN TURNED TANJIROU INTO A DEMON N GIYUUS CRYIN N INOSUKES CRYIN THRU HIS MASK N ITS GOIN SO FUCKING WRONG but he gets tha will 2 turn back bc Fuck You Muzan, The Power Of Friendship Defeats All
the 2nd to last chapter is tha happy endin, the kamaboko gang visit tanjirou n nezukos house, giyuu cuts his hair n SMILES n tha hashira have their final meetin w oyakata-samas son kiriya
i cried readin it ngl their sufferin is finally over...... it cost a lot but now theres no more demons,,,
chapter 205 is set in tha modern day! kanao n tanjirous descendants are shown, as well as zenitsu n nezukos
everyone who died/never had kids get reincarnated (for example gyoumei is now a daycare worker, kyos reincarnation toujurou is besties w one o tans descendants n giyuu (giichi) is friends w sabito again!! makomos their friend too!!
ALSO KIRIYA IS STILL ALIVE hes the oldest man in japan!! this is huge bc the ubayashiki family dont usually live past 30 bc of a curse that was put on em when they had muzan
yushirou is still alive too but thats bc hes a demon n he paints tamayo for a living qwq
it just made me cry so hard bc waaah,,, everyone gets 2 live a demon-free life now,,, anyway typin this took me like an hour im sorry mint (as well as anyone else who read this)
🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?
tha infinity train arc as a whole tbh??? its basically enmu n kyoujurous big moment and. i care them sm. i cant wait 4 tha movie qwq except 4 their deaths ofc
🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?
i have a lotta headcanons really!! outta my f/os favs tho i hc:
giyuu is trans bi n autistic
kyo is gay n has adhd
muichirou is nb n pan
mitsuri is pan
douma is gay
enmu is nb pan n autistic
4 notes · View notes
absolutiions · 4 years
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´   ・   .   ✶   ⧼    madchen   amick,   non   binary,   she   &   they   /   fucked   my   way   to   the   top   by   lana   del   rey   +   eyes   the   color   crimson   and   hands   stained   in   crimson,   too.   victim   of   the   underworld,   you   are   not.   you   came,   not   to   sit   silent   at   his   side   as   dutiful   wives   do,   but   to   whisper   in   his   ear.   pouted   lips   smeared   ruby   stoke   the   flames   of   his   darkest   impulses   and   his   deepest   desires.   you   are   the   conqueror.   you   are   the   queen.   and   may   god   have   mercy   upon   anyone   who   underestimates   this   :   because   you   will   not.    ⧽   ━━   don’t   look   now,   but   that’s   ATHENODORA.   the   TWO   THOUSAND,   FIVE   HUNDRED   &   TWENTY   TWO  (   varying   physical   )   year   old   GIFTED   VAMPIRE   has   been   here   in   seattle   for   three   minutes,   and   is   considered   a   member   of   the   VOLTURI.   they’ve   always   been   MACHIAVELLIAN   &   INDOMITABLE,   but   i   guess   this   town   just   brings   out   the   worst   in people   ;   apparently,   they’ve   been   way   more  INSOUCIANT   &   SUPERCILIOUS   than   usual.   it   wouldn’t   surprise   me   if   they   knew   what   was   going   on.   click   HERE   to   check   out   her   stats.
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they   told   you   that   you   were   a   nobody,      so   you   became   the   QUEEN.   (   now   everybody   knows   your   name   )
SECTION ONE OF THREE : background / human era. trigger warnings for talk of pregnancy, death, abuse
born circa 502 bc, in a little village that has no lasting name nor impact in ancient greece. 
five of the children born to her parents survived to adulthood, and since she was the last one... it is almost like, her whole life, she has been suffering from younger child syndrome. who knew !
she very literally grew up in a diff time, so when i say she wasn’t rly close to any of her siblings, i don’t mean it in a like... horrible way. it’s not a reflection of character. they just didn’t have a tight sibling bond, though she loved them greatly. 
same w her parents. they were unexceptional people who lived unexceptional lives, and though she was grateful for, u know... their creation of her - they were not close. they did not, in laymans terms, have the lorelai and rory gilmore dynamic. 
her whole family were content to live their dismal lives, and... tho athenodora did not vibe, she, again - grew up in a diff time. of course she dreamt of more. of course she prayed to the gods for something better. but she was achingly aware of the fact that no such future would ever exist for her. such is life in 400 whatever bc, bumfuck, greece.
she was just barely eighteen when she was married to athanasios, to secure land, or smth, because those were the times. of course it was something like that. 
he was... fine, at first. a little small minded ( that wasn’t the ONLY thing that was small, haha ). he, like everyone, was content to live the same old life, and athenodora just... wasn’t. she had been raised on stories of grandeur, and her parents had thought she would settle for the regular - it should not have been a surprise that she didn’t want to, but gods, did she try.
she never loved him, she can safely say ; but she wished that she did. for a long while, athenodora thought it would be easier, and thought that she could do a lot worse. unfortunately... she cld not.
their lives were meant to follow a certain pattern. they had gotten married, and now he would work all day, make them money, tend their land. she would stay home. cook. clean. raise the children that they were sure to have. athenodora was capable of almost everything expected of her, except for the most important part - she couldn’t seem to give him children. not strong sons. not beautiful daughters. 
at first, he told her that it was fine. 
after a year or so, he still told her that it was fine, but she could see in his eyes that it wasn’t.
two years after this, he called her the ancient greek version of defective for the very first time - and things only got worse from there.
he had always been a perfectly fine husband, until he was not, and athenodora had always wanted to love him, until she did not. she prayed to the gods every morning and night, to give her what her husband so desired. to give her that which would make her life better, even if she knew it would not heal the wounds already caused.
sometimes the gods r not dicks. a miracle! she becomes pregnant, aged twenty four ( i kno it sounded like she was a crone but again please remember the times ). she always thought it was just what was best n only athanasios would care, but , wow... suddenly. she cares. she has never felt this level of love with anything, until now.
but, tragedy :// straight white men ( idk, i just feel like her husband was the root of all evil ) are not so easily satisfied. who wld have guessed he wld continue to be an abusive asshole even after his wife succeeded in getting pregnant? i bet i shocked u all. who wld have guessed that a huge part of his problem wld end up being that suddenly, athenodora clearly cares abt something - and it isn’t him. again. got you all!
over the course of her pregnancy, he becomes, for the first time, a real threat to her - or maybe, athenodora simply never took him seriously until there is another person to think of. either way, she TRULY fears him and what he’s capable of by the time she gives birth, and after he makes some passing remark abt their baby, she yeets the FUCK out of there in the middle of the night, eirene ( baby ) only a handful of days old. she takes what she can carry and nothing more, and she... makes it pretty far, thanks to the kindness of strangers. you love to see it.
she settles somewhere ( she considers to be ) far away, and she makes up a good story : her husband died in a war ( there were probably a lot of time, i dont know ) and she was widowed, left to care for their young daughter alone. i know. its really original. they didnt have tv shows back then to rip stories from though.
stays in a hovel on the edge of their village. think the shittiest home you’ve ever seen and then make it shittier. there are rumors about her being a witch, and she kind of appreciates them, because it keeps kids out of her yard. and shock of all shock : in spite of being... u know. a woman. and not very skilled. she finds a very hot ticket job - working for the very wealthy volturi family who live on the other ( opposite ) outside of town, but like, in a considerably better home, obviously. 
honestly, i don’t kno what the ancient greek equivalent of that secretary in new moon is, but that’s the vibe we’re going for, here. she’s like, a chambermaid or smth. and she makes a tidy little sum. doesn’t question her weirdo bosses that much. doesn’t know what anemia is because im p sure it wasnt discovered by then, but presumes they have it.
and maybe, just maybe, it’s the finesse of the century : or maybe, just maybe, it is destiny. in no time at all, she has caught the eye of the volturi’s most eligible bachelor(tm) : caius volturi. many another worker is made upset by this fact, as athenodora is very quickly alotted VERY special treatment as the apple of his eye, which includes, i don’t know... hand delivered baskets of pomegranates, a nicer home and in due time, the simple pleasures of the flesh.
so that’s pretty neat. and life’s pretty fine. she feels like an ancient greek sugar baby, and honestly, isn’t that all she’s ever deserved? she’s got some nice digs ( i don’t think she’d have called them that ) and a man who worships the ground she walks on and who spoils her with pretty things, and most importantly : she is taking care of her daughter, who i absolutely didn’t forget about. eirene is the literal light of athenodora’s life, and everybody knows it. if i say jean valjean and cosette vibes, can we all pretend we get it?
and then it goes to shit. as things do.
her daughter is fourteen years old, when her father finds them ; and she doesn’t know, she never knows, if he was seeking them out or whether it was all DUMB luck. regardless of it all, he is stood inside her home, his breath coming in angry half pants, and athenodora is convinced that this is it. that her end has come. that her freedom is over. she dies, she thinks, or she returns back to the house that was not her home with him. these are her options. 
she tells her daughter to leave. she stops him from following. when she is shoved and her head hits the table, she is aware of the option he has chosen for them more than all else - but the gods, or perhaps, just one - intervenes.
until this night, athenodora had never known the truth of the volturi. but when her beloved saves her from athanasios, she sees him for what he is. she UNDERSTANDS. and she isn’t frightened. she should be, for sure, she should be running as fast as she can - but all she can think in that moment is that she is free now in all the ways she has never been... and caius, her love, is something so much larger than this life. 
for the first time, the godhood that athenodora has always dreamt of is within her grasp. she makes him promise that once eirene comes of age, he will make her into the same creature that he IS. she makes him swear a solemn oath, and he who has been so infatuated by her for so long cannot argue.
four years. this is all it takes, and then eirene is eighteen - capable of standing upon her own two feet. athenodora leaves her everything - all the gifts she has ever been given, all the wealth accumulated, the home. everything she will not need, once she is gone. and she says a final goodbye.
caius turns her himself. the greatest gift he could ever give her.
and reborn, athenodora is MORE than everyone in her life could ever dream of being. she is the queen of the underworld, the goddess of death. she is all of this, and more. at his side, she finds GREATNESS. and once she had it, athenodora decided she would never again be without. 
SECTION TWO OF THREE : volturi era.
became cool. became powerful. very emma frost of her, rly 
didnt rly care for the rest of the coven outside of caius but sometimes u gotta hang w scrubs 
didyme dies sometime after her turning, and that kind of fucks everybody up
not so much her bc like i said she didnt rly care but... caius b frightened of losing her, i guess
kind of throws a spanner in the works 
she spends a lot of time ‘locked away’. not , like, literally ( bc that’s gross! ) but... caius takes over protective to the extreme
uses this time to harness her power and fuck
not always in that order
also spends a lot of time telling him he deserves to b leader
deserves to b the new aro
who needs powers?
not u, caius
go kick their ass baby i got ur flower-
( he doesn’t go kick their ass but man she wishes he wld )
she’s genuinely devoted to him, however, as much as it sometimes seems as if she’s using him as a means to an end
she DOES do that with a LOT of people, but caius... that’s her baby! her darling! her sweetie pie! fuck everybody else in this house caius, she respects YOU ! 
she jus wants to see him be the best there ever was, and he’s.... p... happy to giv her everything she wants, so their dynamic is actually p equal 
we love to see it
anyway lots of years happened and now she’s here
seattle sucks -athenodora’s official review
but she’s fucking SICK of aro’s shit and thinks her 2020 birthday wld be the best time for an official change of pace
obviously aro can read minds so he knows athenodora has high aspirations but he has learned his fucking lesson w killing ppls mates, i guess
lucky for her!
that’s all i got
hehe
SECTION THREE OF THREE : power.
athenodora is an ungifted vampire in twilight canon, but to that i say : fuck ya chicken strips. in equinox, she be special. her power is life force manipulation, in a pretty unique ( and dare i say ) way.
she was a forty two year old woman, when she was turned. she had lived a life, and she had the MARKS to show for it. but the very first time that she drank human blood from the vein, athenodora realized that she was not as unexceptional as she had always been lead to believe she was. vampires do not change. they’re frozen in time, like statues, portraits, photographs... and yet, before caius’ very eyes - athenodora did what no other vampire could. mere seconds passed, and suddenly ; she was stood before her beloved, decades younger. it lasted as long as her thirst was sated, with her age returning to her as her eyes darkened once more. and it happened all over again, when next she fed. 
over time, she’s come to understand it well enough. she has a particular love of younger humans ; those in their twenties, and thus, physical primes. she thinks that is, in part, down to her gift ; she seeks these out to drink from because when she feeds, she’s not simply drinking their blood, but also, their life force. she’s taking theirs to add to her own.
like many gifted vampires, she has spent time learning what she can of her gift, and learning whether there is some other way to apply it. it took almost two thousand years, but eventually - athenodora discovered that with a touch, her fingertips to their skin ( and a great deal of focus ), she could render another changed, also. it lasts for only a short amount of time - an hour, maybe a little longer, depending on how strong she is. but it works. and it makes her think that, in all her unlimited time : she might just be able to do even more. be a danger. manipulate life force in a way that can DESTROY. she’ll keep on working on that for as long as she lives. 
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astereaholloway · 5 years
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- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + habitat
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i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!
tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.
gen. info
full name: aster holloway
nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably
b.o.d. - april 1st.
label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.
height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh
hometown: inglewood, california
sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.
bio. info
hasn’t had the most......stable, life
born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene
to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him
the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster
this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived
 the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s
they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up
like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.
the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car
anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell
maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw
aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter
also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it
she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot
aster’s life changed when she was nine
her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started
it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road
it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead
rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter
elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?
but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites
aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally
elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~
myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)
elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to
(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)
myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.
people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite
that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen
it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well
aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.
n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered
by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster
aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good
but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno
aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing
anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority
it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother
but like she dun’ did that
we stan
a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever
she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery
uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that
it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder
she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does 
no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid
aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants
uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity
personality
v v v harsh tbh
she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?
like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too
just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems
doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal
but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit
she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/
she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors
became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else
not saying that being vegan is a personality trait
but
aster’s a vegan
n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?
litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically
v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL
v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong
like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately
a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist
BIG FUCKING GAY
like so gay
she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business
kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end
this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed
unless aster stabs u first
kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too
like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful
really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings
her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)
owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her
big slut
would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks
probably carries around a pocket knife at all times
probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5 
myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin
v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit
bright side is tht she always smells like flowers
theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good
but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite
uuuuuuh god i dunno what else
wanted connections
ride or die
other friends of varying closeness
ex-friends ???
...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings
on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good
ex-gfs
ex-hookups
boys she’s led on
boys she’s currently leading on
flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??
enemies
enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]
buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee
roommate
give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!
alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts
fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other
party pals
frenemies ??
sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny
childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9
childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17
or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one
A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia
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prabbling-blog · 7 years
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... And Action! (Bill Skarsgard X Reader)
anonymous requested: Oi ! i really like ur writings and was wondering if you do bill skarsgard/pennywise stuff ? if you do can you write a oneshot where Y/N plays the older sister (like shes in her twenties or smth) of beverly and pennywise kills her ? but Bill Skarsgard (he plays Pennywise) has a thing for Y/N and really hopes to impress her but it kinda goes wrong in someway ? idek but it’s been a idea i’ve had for ages ! thankss !  
Warnings: Spoilers -? Maybe? IT is a horror movie so, murder and choking. Also brief brief brief topics of vomit.
Word Count: 1880
A/N: I’m fully aware this is one shot is a bit bizarre and definitely a specific niche (not one that I share necessarily) but I feel like I need to preface this by saying this is simply just for fun. PSA Bev Marsh doesn’t have an older sister Y/N’s role is purely for this work
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Ever since Y/N got the call telling her she, Y/N L/N, was to play the part of Laura Marsh, her stomach still hasn’t unfolded itself. It was still all balled up in the pit of her lower abdomen, like she could hurl at any time. It had been there through the three months of filming they had done and she concluded that it would probably never leave.
Her character didn’t play much of a part in the loser’s club, but Y/N’s character was given her own story in the film. She was Laura Marsh, the real town ‘slut’  even though she often used her little sister Bev as a scapegoat. She hung out with Patrick Hocksetter and Henry Bower, and was usually one of Bev and the loser’s tormentors. Laura was a bitch by all standards of convention, even Y/N could admit, which was her death scene was supposed to be simultaneously terrifying and reliving.  
Y/N watched as the loser’s from her black chair as they played hand games and laughed together on the pavement. The blacktop was so hot! She thought, how the hell did they stand it? Y/N technically had only stopped being a kid three years ago (she was 21 now) but she still could never remember a time where she was so uncaring.
“Do ya’ know when they're gonna start already? Jesus lets just get on with the scene already!” The slightly squeaky voice of Nicholas Hamilton (Henry Bowers) abruptly asked beside her. Three months ago she would've jumped, but now she didn't even think about it. She heard a chair scraping against the ground and it groaned with the weight of Nick’s body. She turned and smiled at him, placing her thick and annotated script onto her lap. He was wearing an orange wife beater tanktop and Y/N could see redness on his shoulders beginning to form.
“Whoa I die in this scene! You want me gone that much, huh?” Y/N asked, feigning hurt as she chuckled lightly. It was the most unfortunate death for poor Laura Marsh, first she was kissed and then left by her boyfriend (which just so happened to be Henry Bowers) in the sewers of all places, then she was brutally ripped apart by a clown wearing his face. Y/N knew that the younger actor was anxious for his first on-screen make out (he had told her so time and time again) but she hoped the playful conversation would calm his nerves.  
Y/N was nervous too but for a different reason entirely. She was an experience actress, she had crossed all the necessary rights of passage, yet she was so nervous. Y/N had talked to Bill Skarsgard twice and she couldn’t shake her stupid, girlish crush. She hardly knew the guy for fuck’s sake! She had wanted so much to come from this movie, It was her first big production movie, but now she was most certainly gonna screw up. How the hell could she pretend to be terrified of the guy when she was secretly thinking ‘I want you to rub my mouth on your mouth’?
“No! No!” Nick assured, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s not the death I’m looking forward to,” he whispered under his breath not so subtly. A few moments of hot silence followed before he reached over and grabbed the script from Y/N’s lap. He lazily fanned himself with it boyishly.
“You’ve got another coupla scenes after this so it’s not like you’re not going anywhere!” He joked as he tried in vain to cool himself off. His voice was shaking slightly and his laughs were constrained, like he wasn’t breathing in enough. Y/N cocked her eyebrow and waited for a few seconds before she made a lunge for her script. She, of course, missed it and hit her elbow on the wooden arm rest of his chair.
“C’mon why do you carry this thing anyhow? Everyone knows you memorized this thing cover to cover the instant you got it.” Nick teased stretching his arm away from Y/N as he peered at all of her highlights and somewhat embarrassing notes.
Y/N tried to crack a smile, but it was true, she did take it everywhere. How could she not? How else could she ensure she’d pull through? Besides was it so wrong for her to make sure everything went perfectly?
Nevertheless, she was beginning to suspect that Nick knew something that he shouldn’t, that sneaky little son of a bitch. She was about to reply with a typical snarky remark but she was interrupted by Andy (the director) shouting, “Y/N, Nick, and Bill - Scene 6 please!” Her heart sank as her body began to move without her brain’s consent. Nick had already jumped up and ran over to Andy enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Y/N’s thighs peeled up from her chair and she awkwardly waddled over to join them.
Andy took one glance at her before waving a makeup artist down and whispering in her ear. How ironic that this makeup artist looked like a scary clown herself, what with all that highlighter. The girl took a dry rag and began to dab Y/N’s face a bit, before she was pulled onto set by someone’s face she didn’t even get to see.
Nick grabbed Y/N’s hand and lightly guided her into position, awaiting Andy to shout “Action!” Y/N could still see the kids offscreen playing their hand games, but now one of them had begun throwing little balls of mud.  
“Alright! Is everyone in position?!” Andy asked looking around as if he were waiting for someone to point out a problem. He nodding to the man holding the slate, before loudly shouting “AND ACTION!”
Nick immediately pushed Y/N’s hips up against the walls of the sewers and she giggled obnoxiously. His lips roughly greeted hers in a strained, but very teenager, kiss. The kiss lasted only for a couple of seconds before he pulled away and wiped his mouth, following the script to a tee.
“You’re getting better.” He commented rudely and went back to give her another kiss. But Y/N’s character, Laura pushed his chest back, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Henry?” Y/N made sure to smack her lips together, to cock her head, and roll her eyes.
“It means that I thought sluts like you were supposedta’ be good at kissin’. But I guess sluts aren’t really known for their kissin’ anyways.” Again, Nick went in for a kiss, but Y/N pushed him back and feigned disbelief.  
Only open your mouth slightly, stop cocking your head, frown, stare, make your eyes water Y/N went through exactly what she had to do in the mirror time and time again, perfecting every part of her express- Crap, lower your chin and …. cry!
Nick glanced at her, though by now her character was balling. “You’re a fucking crazy bitch. You know that right? How much do you charge again?” He asked so sourly the words curdled in his mouth.
“Just get the fuck outta here!” Y/N yelled and she could see, out of her peripheral vision, Andy mouthing along to the words. Nick smirked evilly, before exiting the set and giving her an encouraging off screen thumbs up. Y/N slumped down and cried pathetically, just as it was written. But eventually she stood and stumbled around in the sewers, crying all the way. She could feel the presence of the camera over her shoulder as it followed her like a ghost. Abruptly, the sound of demonic laughter reverberated around the metal of the sewer hitting Y/N’s ears. Bill was too good at that. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand. Her character stopped walking and wiped her nose with the back of her cranberry colored sweatshirt.
A floating red balloon bobbed through the air as it came softly down to where Y/N was standing. It bobbed so peacefully (like the script had said), so her character tried to reach out to get it like a  young child. Perhaps poor slut Laura Marsh needed comfort too, Y/N pondered.
“AND PENNYWISE GO!” Andy shouted, marking where CGI would be used to create a horrifying, deformed hell version of Bill’s beautiful face. Y/N jumped and let out a throaty, raspy scream, the same scream she was hired for. She felt cold hands on her sweatshirt before she saw Bill, but once she did she couldn’t help to scream again. It was nightmarish, with his enlarged forehead and pointed smile.
The clown pinned Y/N up against the wall, which would’ve actually choked her if it had not been for the slight incline that let her tiptoes hang on. She gasped and sputtered, still crying and struggling pathetically. “HO HO HEHEHE!” The clown laughed in her ear and the sound shocked her so much that Y/N lost her footing, her toes couldn’t get a grip on the wet floor of the sewer. Bill was already so much taller than her at 6’4” that in order to deliver the lines properly, he had begun brought her up to his face. She gripped tightly onto his gloved hands as she coughed and began to feel a bit light headed as he continued to laugh maniacally.
Just kill me already! Y/N painfully thought, she would hate to be the reason for the failed take. But Pennywise, or Bill, never seemed to talk fast enough and Y/N was really beginning to feel the effects as she tried desperately to gulp in air.
“I - I,” Wheeze. “C-c-can’t-t,” Wheeze.  
Immediately like a switch had been pulled, she felt the pressure on her throat release as she fell to the ground into the disgusting water. She gulped in sweet air like she had never breathed before and Andy, god bless him, finally shouted “Cut!”
“Y/N! Are you alright!? I really didn’t mean to! I mean I thought maybe - but - I’m so sorry!” Pennywi- Bill shouted, helping her up by placing his hand on the small of her back. It was so odd hearing him be so gentle and polite while wearing such a terrifying costume. His eyes, which five seconds ago where full of such rage, now were softened and sad. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” Bill said exasperatedly and guided her over to where Andy sat, all the while she was still breathing in and out deeply.
“Y/N! Y/N! What happened!” Y/N heard the voices of the child actors as they ran over to inspect the situation.
“It was the heat you dufas!” One of the kids proclaimed obviously, as they patted her shoulder. But all Y/N could focus on was the sound of her heart beating as she panted heavily.
“I’m …  fine guys.” Y/N confirmed as she rubbed her neck tenderly. Now that she finally had air in her lungs, the pain of where Bill’s fingers had wrapped around her throat set in.
“I’m so sorry,” Bill repeated as he tried to give her kindest smile he could, buck tooth, blood drenched and everything.
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