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cieloclercs · 10 months

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sliding doors, chapter five

pairing: joao félix x fem!oc part: 5/? warnings: mentions of sex, gets a little bit spicy (but no smut), slight angst, fluff!!! joao is a simp word count: 11.6k (hope it makes up for the wait lol)

author’s note: sorry for the long wait again! i’ve finally finished school, so hopefully i’ll be able to get the next few chapters written more quickly! as always, let me know what you guys think about this chapter! a like or a reblog is always appreciated ❤️

SLIDING DOORS, “Seemingly inconsequential moments that nonetheless alter the trajectory of future events.”

05. in which esperanza meets his teammates

previously: chapter four

read it on wattpad!

BY THE TIME SATURDAY came around, Esperanza couldn't deny that she was more than a little excited. If the opportunity to go clubbing with half of the Chelsea squad had arisen before she met João, she probably wouldn't have batted an eyelid — but after watching the last couple of games and following every single player and person involved in the club on Instagram (which also included another one of her deep-dive research sessions into their Wikipedia pages), Esperanza felt oddly privileged to think that in a few hours she would be drinking and dancing with them like old friends.

Between the end of her classes and João's arrival back from Liverpool (where he'd gone to watch the team play from the stands), she busied herself with painting or schoolwork, in the hopes it might somehow speed up the clock ticking sluggishly on the wall. Esperanza was only slightly ashamed to admit that she'd cut her lecture short by ten minutes in order to make it back to her apartment in time for the game. She wanted to make a habit out of watching them, especially when João began playing again. Somehow (though she'd never had much of an affiliation to any football club before) Esperanza felt herself rooting for Chelsea surprisingly intensely. It was a strange feeling, but a good one. She could understand why so many people did it now. Football was kind of addictive.

In contrast to her excitement (and slight apprehension) for the upcoming night out, Doutzen, who had — after some persuading — accepted Esperanza's offer to tag along, was not quite so enthusiastic. She kept going on about betrayal and shame, which Esperanza found a little bit dramatic, but she supposed if she'd been the die-hard Spurs fan going clubbing with half of the Chelsea squad, she might have felt like a traitor to her club too. Still, Doutzen had promised, and there was no way she could back on it now. Esperanza wouldn't let her. She needed her moral support.

João hadn't bothered going back to his apartment when he arrived back from Liverpool. He went straight to Esperanza's. She was waiting for him inside, halfway through her newest painting (a commission from Mrs Davies of one of her many cats — this had become a regular occurrence since the woman found out Esperanza was a painter, and she would pay her a pretty decent sum for her efforts too). João was used to the chaos of Esperanza's apartment by now. Most of the time when he went round to see her, she would be mid-project, with her brushes and paints scattered everywhere, an old, baggy shirt framing her figure and nothing but a pencil, twisted into the curls, holding her hair into a bun on the back of her head. Her apartment almost always smelled like coffee and acrylic paint. It wasn't exactly something João had ever thought he would love as much as he did — but it just felt like Esperanza.

The story was much the same when he finally got back to the apartment complex. He knocked on her door but didn't wait for an answer before opening it (neither of them bothered anymore). Esperanza was inside, hunched over a canvas with a concentrated frown on her face and some classical piece playing softly through the speakers she always kept on the kitchen cabinet. She didn't hear him as he stepped into the room. João smiled. He'd been expecting it. She was lost to the world when she painted.

"Is that for Mrs Davies?" João's voice cut through the gentle lull or piano keys and strings. Esperanza looked up. Her frown cleared, revealing a smile like the sun when she caught sight of him.

"Yep." she nodded, struggling to her feet and dusting off her knees. They too were splattered with paint, "She's paying me sixty to do a big one of — what was his name again? — Oh, Mr Whiskers. That woman has so many cats I can't keep track."

João walked forward to stand beside her, kissing her sweetly, and looked down at the painting laid out on the floor. Just like everything Esperanza did, it was immaculate. He couldn't quite fathom just how talented she was: and just how fortunate he was to be the man in her life. In all honesty, João wasn't entirely sure what she saw in him, but at this point, he'd just take the win.

"Mrs Davies has a black cat?" he asked, scrunching up his nose in faint horror. In Esperanza's painting the cat was certainly a black one; with wide, stare-into-your-soul type of green eyes that somehow, from within the canvas, seemed to follow him when he shifted his gaze. João shuddered. He'd never been much of a cat person to begin with, but black cats were a step too far.

"Yeah, it freaks me out too." Esperanza giggled softly at the look on his face, "And I'm not usually a superstitious person, but this cat is scary. Don't tell Mrs Davies I said that."

João nodded distractedly. He'd lost his train of thought as soon as her heard her light, bubbling laugh. It was becoming one of his favourite sounds, he had recently discovered. He forfeited any capability of continuing the conversation, left with nothing but a stupid smile on his face and a blank mind. Only Esperanza ever seemed to be able to render him absolutely speechless, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. A lot of the time, she didn't even have to do anything. João was just enamoured with her. That was all it took.

Esperanza's fingers clicked in front of his face, breaking him out of his trance. He'd been staring, it seemed, because now she was gazing up at him with a questioning smile. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Most of the time when João visited Esperanza's, he was more than happy to just watch her paint. In fact, that had been a specific request of his the last few times he'd been round. On the cold, rainy days when it was simply too miserable to go anywhere, they'd sit on Esperanza's living room floor, listening to the patter or raindrops on the window as her paintbrush glided masterfully across the canvas. There was something so peaceful about it; so intimate. Neither of them felt the need to fill the silence in those moments. Just being in each others' presence — close enough to hold — was more than enough.

"Are you still up for tonight?" João asked as he watched Esperanza begin to pack away her paints, resisting the urge to chuckle when he spotted splatters of black and green on her shirt.

"Of course." Esperanza grinned, "I'm looking forward to it."

And she truly was. Her dress had been picked out hours ago (with Millie's help over face time obviously) and she'd already packed her handbag with all the clubbing essentials — lipstick, powder, tissues. She'd ignored Millie's suggestion of taking a condom with her just in case, arguing firmly that she had absolutely no intention of having sex with João tonight. It was far too early in their relationship for that, she had spluttered indignantly. Millie simply pulled a face.

"You're basically living with the guy." she had said with a snort, "Don't tell me you haven't at least thought about it."

Esperanza didn't even grace her with an answer. It was a stupid question anyway. Of course she'd thought about it. João was insanely attractive, and he had a habit of starting his home workouts while she was around. It was impossible not to think about that when he teased her so shamelessly, wandering around sans shirt for hours after he'd finished his reps. João knew exactly what he was doing. He had to. She figured she was probably fun to tease, taking into consideration her blushing problem.

"Did you ask Doutzen if she wanted to share a taxi with us to the club?" João went on after a few moments. Esperanza blinked away her thoughts with the faintest blush. She shook her head.

"Yes, she said thank you but she's fine just getting one by herself."

Well, that had been the gist of the conversation. In reality, Doutzen probably would have preferred not to be alone but, to quote her directly: "I don't fancy watching you two stick your tongues down each other's throats, thank you very much." Esperanza silently wondered why she thought they would be the kind of people to make out in the back of a taxi, while the driver sat barely even a few feet away, but she knew better than to argue. Besides, she was a little grateful for the privacy. As much as she loved Doutzen, there was no way the Dutch woman would have been able to keep quiet for the duration of the taxi journey — which would have led to a lot of embarrassment for Esperanza, considering how much she talked to her about João. She'd rather not have to deal with that if it came to it.

"I don't think she likes me very much." João spoke up again when they were sat on Esperanza's sofa, buried beneath a pile of blankets. She lifted her head up from his chest to regard him with a frown.

"Who? Doutzen?" she clarified. He nodded, "She doesn't not like you."

"Wow." João huffed out a laugh, "Thanks for the reassurance." His head fell back against the sofa, and he turned it to the side to pout half-jokingly at her, as if the insinuation that Doutzen wasn't his biggest fan had genuinely hurt his feelings. Esperanza rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but giggle softly at his expression.

"Don't take it personally." she jabbed her finger at his shoulder, "Doutzen doesn't really like anyone."

"That makes me feel so much better." João quipped again. This time, in retaliation, Esperanza poked him a little harder, hard enough that he gasped and wriggled away to shoot her a playful glare.

"Why are you so worried about her liking you anyway?" she asked. João sat up at the hint of seriousness in her tone, "Are you trying to gain approval or something?"

Esperanza worded it like a kind of joke, laughing — albeit unconvincingly — at the end. His slight frown deepened. He wondered if she thought the idea of him wanting her friends to like him was stupid; as if he wasn't already at the stage in his feelings that he feared the possibility of their disapproval might ruin things. João didn't want to be the guy that her friends hated. He didn't want to act as a wedge or come between their friendship. To him, it just showed that he cared — truly cared. But he wasn't sure Esperanza could see that yet.

"You know I'm serious about this, right?" João spoke up again after a moment, "About you. Us."

Esperanza blinked. She could feel her heart begin to pound in the pulse at her throat. His eyes, which somehow she managed to hold, bore into hers.

"You are?" she practically whispered. João nodded immediately.

"Yeah." he murmured, "Are you?"

"Of course." Esperanza let out an incredulous chuckle, as if the thought of her being anything but absolutely enamoured with him was absurd.

"Well," João smiled to himself, feeling his chest grow warm and his mind a little hazy, "I'm glad we're on the same page. And for the record, yes, I'd prefer it if your friends didn't hate me. That's normally kind of a dealbreaker isn't it?"

Esperanza couldn't help but laugh. Her cheeks burned crimson, courtesy of his confession, but for once she simply ignored it.

"Doutzen doesn't hate you." she insisted, "She just takes a while to warm up to new people. Besides, Millie likes you! And trust me, she's not easy to please."

It was true: Millie seemed to be rooting for Esperanza and João to work out even more than Esperanza herself was. Considering how protective Millie had grown of her in recent years, especially after the break up with her high school boyfriend and that disaster one night stand, Esperanza had to admit she was a little surprised at how quickly she had taken to João. Not that she was complaining.

"But Millie lives in Argentina." João sighed, "Doutzen lives, like, two miles away. It's not like I have anywhere to hide if she decides she hates me. And the way you talk about her sometimes, she sounds kind of scary."

Esperanza shook her head, "You're so dramatic." she giggled. João's stricken expression relaxed as she reached up to thread her fingers through his hair. He let out a faint groan, "Just give her time to warm up to you." she smiled, before leaning down to whisper in his ear, "But don't worry, if she doesn't, I'll protect you."

João's eyes fluttered open and flitted over to look at her. He hadn't even noticed them shut, nor had he realised how close Esperanza had drawn to his face. His gaze automatically flickered down to her lips.

"My saviour." he mumbled under his breath, chuckling softly, "What would I do without you, amor?"

Esperanza didn't answer. At least not verbally. She chose to thread her fingers tighter through the curls at the nape of his neck, and pull him down into a kiss instead.

Like most afternoons, they spent the next few hours curled up on the sofa bingeing the last episodes of Outer Banks (spoiler alert: João definitely cried, even though he would have denied it vehemently); sharing the odd spontaneous kiss, which sometimes progressed into something more, and sometimes remained as just a sweet peck. Esperanza would later remember thinking that she could have stayed there for the rest of her life and been perfectly content. If only the clock hand didn't creep around, and the light fade from the sky. Eventually, they both knew they had to move, unless they wanted to risk being late.

João reluctantly went back to his own apartment to change, as per Esperanza's insistence. He may not have cared whether he turned up to the club in sweatpants or a perfectly tailored suit, but she wasn't about to let him purposely underdress because he was too lazy to get up off the couch.

"Just go get ready." Esperanza sighed in exasperation as she pushed him by the chest out of her apartment and into the hallway.

"Alright, alright, I'm going!" he yelped.

"I might still be in the shower when you get back, so just let yourself in." she told him, reaching for the door to close it once he had gone. The corner of João's lips turned up into a smirk.

"Yeah?"

Esperanza's eyes widened, "I meant into my apartment! Maldito idiota."she giggled faintly, shaking her head as her cheeks flamed with that oh-so-familiar crimson blush. João grinned widely at her, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to her cheek.

"I'll see you in a bit." he winked. Esperanza rolled her eyes, pressing her hands flat against his chest and pushing him out into the hallway. His voice, shouting one final goodbye floated through her apartment door as it swung shut. She had to lean her forehead against the cool wood once he was out of sight, just to try and banish the heat from her cheeks.

With João gone, she began the process of getting ready. Her dress wasn't new (she hadn't had the time to go out and get one in between her classes and unfinished essays) but since buying it around six months ago she hadn't yet worn it. Now seemed as good a time as any. Esperanza laid the dress out on her bed, along with a pair of heels and her handbag, before heading to the en suite bathroom. She'd checked the clock beforehand, and she had more than enough time to enjoy a nice, long shower before time began to press. With her Taylor Swift playlist on shuffle, Esperanza made it through about a dozen songs before switching the water off. She wrapped herself up in a fluffy towel, and, making sure to listen out for any sign of João returning, made her way back to her bedroom. She couldn't hear the gentle hum of the TV, nor his voice calling her, so she assumed he was still in his own apartment.

Esperanza had to admit — she'd picked out her dress not only with João in mind, but his friends too. The reason being, it was blue. She wanted to make the best impression possible, and though the colour of her dress probably mattered very little, she figured showing her support for Chelsea, even in a small way such as that, would give her a bit of a head start. Besides, João had been trying to get her to wear his team shirt for days. Wearing his team colours was close enough, right?

As Esperanza was drying her hair she heard the front door of her apartment open and close, signalling João's return. His voice floated through to her bedroom, asking a question she couldn't quite discern. "I'm getting changed!" she called back, hoping he would get the message.

João did, in fact, get the message. He hadn't been gone for that long, so he assumed the wait for Esperanza to get ready would be a while. He took a seat on the edge of her sofa, fidgeting nervously with the cuffs of his white shirt. Though it felt like he'd known Esperanza for years, their relationship (if he could call it that) was still relatively new, meaning that, to his frustration, he still got a little nervous before going out. Especially if their plans for the night involved her dressing up. There was no doubt about it now, in João's mind, Esperanza was the single most beautiful woman he had ever met. He sometimes felt a bit inferior stood next to her. Tonight was no exception.

She didn't emerge from her bedroom in the next five minutes, nor the next ten, so João let his mind drift away aimlessly as he sunk deeper into the couch. Before long his aimless thoughts returned to Esperanza, as they tended to do more often than not. Memories of previous dates or evenings spent curled up on that very same sofa watching Outer Banks flooded his mind. He thought back to their first date, smiling fondly. It felt so long ago now. João could still taste the faint flavour of her cherry lip gloss on his tongue.

"What are you smiling about?" a gentle voice cut through his daydream, and his head snapped to the side just in time to see Esperanza walk through the door. João opened his mouth to reply; though, it snapped shut again just as quickly.

"Uh... nothing." He stammered. The young woman narrowed her eyes suspiciously, partly because she didn't believe him, and partly because he was gawking at her like he'd never seen a member of the female species up until that very moment. She ran her hands self-consciously over the front of her dress.

"What's wrong?" she frowned, "Do I need to change?"

Esperanza thought maybe wearing blue was a step too far. What if it came off as looking desperate? Her cheeks burned under João's increasingly intense stare, as for a few moments, he appeared too dumbstruck to formulate an answer. She never could quite interpret whether that was a good thing or not.

"Nono! Don't change!" he spluttered out finally. Esperanza's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, so he quickly stood up from the couch and moved over to her in three strides, stopping with barely a few inches between their bodies. Her eyes widened at the sudden lack of distance, "You look beautiful, amor."

Esperanza felt every ounce of doubt in her body dissipate into the open air. A shy smile replaced the frown that had spread across her face. She may have been able to hold João's gaze without feeling too awkward by this point, but she was thus far yet to find a way to suppress her blush whenever he said something like that. It was such a simple compliment; understated, though it was something she had never heard from a significant other until meeting João. Somehow, he seemed to know exactly the words to make her melt.

"You think so?" Esperanza giggled, playing with the hem of her dress.

"Of course." He grinned, "You're breath taking. You know that, right?"

Again, it was as if she had given him a list of ways to make her flush crimson and squirm in a flattered, shy sort of embarrassment, and he was using it against her.

"Shut up." Esperanza rolled her eyes. They were stood almost chest to chest now, so she reached her hands out to press against his torso and push him away gently.

"You are." João persisted, "Even if you don't think it, I'm telling you that now."

And he sounded so sincere, so genuine, she found herself beginning to believe him. It wasn't as if she especially struggled with her body image — no more than any other person did — but Esperanza knew she didn't exactly have the 'model' type figure which she was certain João was used to. She couldn't squeeze into size 4 jeans and she didn't have a completely flat stomach, yet she'd never really had much of a problem with that. Maybe it was because she felt so strongly about João, she wanted him to accept her for who she was, no matter her body type. She wanted him to find the things that other people may have criticised her for attractive. Maybe that was too much to ask. Esperanza didn't really know.

But so far, he seemed to be ticking all the boxes.

"Do you like the colour?" she decided to change the subject quickly before her cheeks became too red to cool down. João looked down at the minidress (trying not to focus too much on the way it seemed to fit her body like a second skin) and smirked.

"I'm turning you into a Chelsea fan." He teased.

"I would say I'm a fan of whoever you play for." Esperanza laughed, "But I do have a bit of a soft spot for Chelsea now. Got to represent my team, right?" she shrugged. Perhaps her main intention was to give herself the best chance of winning João's teammates over, but there was a lot of truth to her words as well. She felt a certain connection to the club now. And she didn't just think it was down to João.

"I knew I'd get you into football somehow." He said with a triumphant smirk. Esperanza scoffed, ready to protest, but he was speaking again before she had the chance to open her mouth, "You should come to a game sometime. I could get you a ticket."

His eyes widened hopefully. It made her smile to see, and even if she'd wanted to, she didn't think she could have turned him down.

"I might have to take you up on that offer."

João didn't stop grinning for at least the next half an hour.

They were piling into the backseat of their Uber before long, João giving the club's address to the driver. Esperanza texted Doutzen to let her know they were on their way, and received a reply in seconds, confirmed the Dutch woman had also just set off. With any luck, they'd probably arrive at about the same time. That would have eased Esperanza's nerves, at least.

João, as he always did, seemed to sense her growing doubt. He knew her well enough by now to recognise that talking it out would probably just make her even more nervous. The thing that he'd noticed calmed Esperanza down was touch: an arm around her waist, his hand squeezing hers gently, anything that involved his skin on her own seemed to muffle the doubts and fears flying around her head. João could almost feel her overthinking now. So he took her hand into his and laced their fingers together, like the intricate stitches of a tapestry. Esperanza's head turned up to find him smiling softly at her. She smiled back.

"Thank you." João nodded to the Uber driver as they climbed out at the doors of the club, handing him a twenty pound note through the window. Esperanza shot him a disapproving look.

"I said I'd pay."

João scoffed, "Absolutely not." He wasn't about to let his girl fork out for an Uber they were sharing when he had more than enough money in the bank to pay for the both of them.

Esperanza knew not to argue. João was generally quite passive most of the time (otherwise known as, he was a little afraid of her stubborn streak and he'd go out of his way to make sure that whatever he did, she agreed to first), but this was something she knew he wouldn't budge on. Young men with too much money liked splashing out on behalf of others, that was what Esperanza thought. She couldn't exactly complain, though — it wasn't as if her ever-decreasing monthly allowance, barely minimum wage part-time job and student debt could afford the kind of prices business owners in central London got away with. Plus, João did insist.

"Hey, is that Doutzen?" the voice of the aforementioned cut through Esperanza's thoughts, and she whirled around in the direction of where his finger, now outstretched, was pointing. João had never actually met Doutzen before: he'd only heard stories about her, and been shown some blurry photographs. But even if the pictures he had seen could barely be made out, it wasn't difficult to match the stand-out characteristic of Esperanza's best friend, to that of the woman running towards them now. Curly red hair.

As it turned out, João's logic was sound. The Argentinian woman waved excitedly at her friend as she shuffled awkwardly towards them in her six inch heels. Doutzen wasn't a fan of bright colours, so she had opted for a forest green minidress with a cowl neck and a small slit climbing up her thigh. Her hair was left in all its wild glory, curled down to her shoulders. Esperanza had always been a little envious of Doutzen's hair. It always seemed to fall perfectly, even when she hadn't even done anything to it, whereas she needed to spend an age styling hers just so it didn't look like a mop on top of her head. All in all, it was clear the Dutch woman had dressed to impress. Ironic considering how much she'd complained when Esperanza first convinced her to tag along.

"Anzi! You look hot!" was the first thing Doutzen said as she approached them. Giggling, Esperanza let the Dutch woman pull her into a tight hug. When she pulled away, Doutzen turned to look at João with a smirk.

"Loverboy thinks so too."

His eyes widened. He didn't need a hint to realise that Doutzen was talking about him, though he hadn't expected her to be quite that bold, even if Esperanza had warned him about her lack of a filter (and even if she was right). João turned to look at the Argentinian woman, his eyes still wide, and found her expression mirroring his.

"Doutzen!" Esperanza hissed, "Sorry. I told you, she can't keep her mouth shut." She apologised, her gaze flickering between her friend, where it hardened into a glare, and João.

"Alright, maybe that was a bit too soon." Doutzen laughed. As Esperanza's scowl softened just a little, he figured that must be the Dutch woman's way of an apology – or the closest she ever got to one.

"I'm Doutzen." She spoke, offering her hand for him to shake. João took it hesitantly. "I've heard a lot about you from this one. She never shuts up about you."

Faintly, João heard Esperanza let out a groan from behind him. He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face, though he resisted the urge to turn around.

"I could say the same about you." He returned after a moment.

"All good things, I'm sure." Doutzen shot back with mock self-assurance, causing him to laugh loudly.

"Of course."

João took a step back and, without turning to look at her, looped his arm around Esperanza's shoulder. He knew for a fact she was blushing, even if he couldn't see her face.

"You talk about me a lot, huh?" he said in Spanish, glancing down with a smirk to find her ducking away from his gaze, sure enough, with pink cheeks.

"Cállate." Esperanza muttered back; but as much as she tried to prevent the small smile from creeping onto her face, it simply wasn't possible with João pulling her closer into his side.

"Aw, cute, you guys have your own secret language." Doutzen spoke up suddenly with a sickly sweet smile, sarcasm practically dripping from her voice. João frowned and Esperanza pulled a face.

"It's Spanish —"

"Are we gonna go meet the rest of your teammates then? Or do you want me to leave you two alone for a while?" the Dutch woman rattled on, completely unfazed. She was marching towards the front door of the club before João or Esperanza even had time to think of a reply, seemingly revelling in the fact that she could bypass the queue and the bouncers thanks to the Chelsea squad's VIP status. Esperanza rolled her eyes, exasperated, before pulling João along by his hand after her runaway friend.

"I told you she was a handful." the young woman spoke. She tilted her head upwards with an apologetic smile, hoping it might compensate for Doutzen's earlier antics.

"I like her." João replied. She raised an eyebrow, "She's a, uh. — She's a character."

"She sure is." Esperanza snorted. Even if Doutzen could be brazen at times, and never really stopped to think about what she said before it was too late, she loved her for it. Besides — it was that part of Doutzen's nature that kept her going through Jordan's lectures. She's sure she would have fallen asleep without her little quips and comments.

Once inside the club, the Dutch woman finally slowed down to wait for them; only because she hadn't a clue where João's teammates were, but the motive didn't matter so much at the time. With his arm now wrapped securely around Esperanza's waist, as if he feared he might lose her in the crowd, João led the two women towards where Reece had told him everyone was meeting.

They were in a booth towards the back of the club, away from prying eyes. He waved when he caught sight of his friends, and began to walk faster. Esperanza's stomach fluttered with nerves. The light was too dim to make out everyone's faces yet, but she didn't really need to. She knew exactly who she was about to meet — she'd seen them on TV enough times by now to know almost every single one of them without introductions:

"Hey mate, how are you?" a young man with tight curly hair and eyes that creased when he smiled was the first to greet João, pulling him into a side hug and patting him on the back. He'd let go of Esperanza's waist by now, leaving her feeling a little vulnerable. But as soon as the man released him, João's arm wound around her shoulder, pulling her close to his side.

The friendly man was Reece James. Esperanza had always thought he looked a little intimidating on the TV, but when he turned to her with a kind smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners, any kind of apprehension she may have felt evaporated.

"Hi." he beamed, "You must be Esperanza."

The young woman nodded, returning his enthusiasm as best she could.

"Reece, right?" she smiled hesitantly, hoping her newly acquired football knowledge wouldn't fail her.

Luckily, Reece's grin stayed ever-present. Esperanza mentally punched the air. That was one of João's teammates down without accidentally insulting them — only five more to go.

"We've heard a lot about you from this one." Reece spoke again, as she watched two new arrivals approach them from over his shoulder. She switched her gaze from their advancing figures to the young man's smirking face. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see João shaking his head in embarrassment.

"Oh, really?" Esperanza giggled, turning to nudge him playfully with a newfound burst of confidence, "What's he been saying about me?"

"She's so smart and pretty and perfect." one of the new arrivals interjected, in a high, pitched, dreamy tone. João groaned loudly, "I don't know how I got her to like me — she's wayyyy out of my league."

Esperanza watched in amusement as João punched his teammate's arm half-heartedly. Ben Chilwell merely cackled, as did the second of the two new faces, Mason Mount. They nudged each other like little children passing notes, snickering at the look on João's face. When Esperanza looked up at him, she couldn't help but laugh with them, seeing his crimson cheeks and ever-so-slight pout.

"Don't you start." he groaned, but there was evidence of a smile in his eyes. Esperanza could see it as clearly as she saw her own hand in front of her face.

Soon, Mason and Ben had finished with their childish giggles and were introducing themselves, matching smirks painted across their faces.

"What's your secret, Esperanza?" Mason asked suddenly. Esperanza blinked, caught off guard, but she didn't even have time to ask what he meant before Ben was cutting in.

"How'd you manage to get him so whipped?"

Another groan came from João. She couldn't help her cheeks turning a little pink this time, suddenly overwhelmed as they began cackling again. Turning her head up to look at João, he merely rolled his eyes, mouthing what looked like an apology. She waved him away. He'd experienced much the same with Doutzen, after all.

"Are these two bothering you?" An unfamiliar, gentle voice entered the conversation, tearing Esperanza's attention away from João. The voice belonged to a young woman with dark hair cut just below her chin, and wide, forest green eyes. She smiled softly, and Esperanza felt herself relax in an instant.

"Oh, no, it's ok —" she tried to dismiss, but the young woman had already rounded on Ben, shooting him a half-playful glare.

"I thought I told you not to scare the poor girl off." Her green eyes narrowed, and Ben shrunk away slightly. Behind him, Mason began to snicker, but he was quickly silenced when her glare switched to him.

"Sorry about them." the woman turned to look at Esperanza, the sweet smile suddenly taking over her features once more. "They act like children sometimes."

Esperanza giggled, waving away her apology.

"I'm Cartia. Ben's girlfriend." She stepped forward, arms held out wide, before she was engulfing her into a tight hug. It made it hard not to smile. Esperanza hadn't come across many people in England who were as keen huggers as she was — she supposed it must have been a culture difference. But then again, Cartia didn't sound very English; Australian perhaps, Esperanza figured with her limited knowledge of foreign accents. Cold handshakes must have just been a thing the Brits engaged in.

"Come on, I'll take you to meet the rest of the WAGs!" Cartia exclaimed excitedly, reaching out to grasp Esperanza's hand and pulling her out of João's hold before he even had the chance to complain. She looked back at him for a second, holding off the urge to laugh at his forlorn expression. 'WAGs?', she mouthed, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. João merely shrugged. He was too far away now for her to see the faint flush in his cheeks.

Cartia stayed true to her promise of introductions. Esperanza was almost hidden behind her frame until she pushed her to the forefront of the group sat huddled together in a booth. Doutzen was already there, seemingly having made the rounds when she hadn't been paying attention; she spoke animatedly to a young woman with thick blonde hair, like they'd been friends for years. Esperanza rolled her eyes fondly. She wouldn't have expected anything else.

Within a few minutes, she too was huddled in the booth, with João on one side of her and Cartia on the other. It didn't take long for her apprehension to melt away. As soon as she was introduced to everyone, it became like a gathering between old friends. João had certainly been right about her liking his teammates; they were all lovely, treating her with as much warmth as they treated anyone else sat around the booth. She liked the girlfriends too, or the 'WAGs' as Cartia had explained to her they were often referred to as. Esperanza found she wasn't so opposed to that label at all, even if her and João weren't official. For once, she wasn't afraid of the thought of it.

Cartia, being the first WAG she'd been introduced to, was her point of reference when getting acquainted with the others. She was a lovely girl: bubbly and charismatic, but a dreamer as well — like she lived in another world. A perfect balance to Ben's brashness and realism, she thought. The second of the WAGs Esperanza met was Mia McClenaghan, Reece's girlfriend. She was just as outgoing, if not more so than Cartia. Reece explained she'd been dying to meet her since the boys first caught on to João's little crush (in his words). The third, Sophia, was quieter than the other two, but in a way that gave her a much needed sense of calmness and security. Esperanza didn't think she'd ever met a couple so well matched as Sophia Weber and Kai Havertz. With Kai's dry, sarcastic sense of humour and Sophia's sweet disposition, they were like chalk and cheese in the best way. Her eyes were drawn to their little interactions, showing how much they trusted each other. She wondered if her and João would look like that one day.

Their company also included some late arrivals. Firstly, Kepa Arrizabalaga and his fiancé Andrea Martínez. From the moment they entered the room, Esperanza could immediately tell they were in their own little bubble. They were still friendly and welcoming, but there was something different about being recently engaged, she thought, that likely made them feel like they were the only two people in the room sometimes. She thought it was cute, how obviously infatuated with each other they were. Secondly arrived Chelsea's newest signing, Mykhailo Mudryk. João had been right once again — his English was patchy — but despite that, the moment they were introduced she could sense his kindness and genuine happiness just to be there with them. Esperanza took a liking to him straight away.

Within an hour the group had split — João and his teammates to the bar to order drinks for all of them, and the WAGs to the dance floor. Esperanza wasn't really a party person, but Cartia, Mia and Doutzen seemed to compensate for her lack of energy with their own: and maybe they rubbed off on her just a little bit. Sophia wasn't massively into clubbing and dancing either, it seemed. She and Esperanza were content just watching the others laugh and jump about, swaying from side to side to whatever bass-heavy remix the DJ put on next. They somehow managed to hold a conversation over the noise, although sometimes it was difficult, and they had to move so close to each other their noses almost bumped. It turned out Sophia was just as lovely as Esperanza had predicted from their first encounter, if not more so. She quickly grew to become her favourite of the WAGs.

"How did you and João meet?" the German woman shouted over the pounding bass.

"It's kind of a funny story, actually." Esperanza giggled, "I almost knocked him over running for the elevator when I was late for class."

Sophia's eyes widened, her hand flying to her mouth to hold in her laughter.

"I know, it was so embarrassing! And I didn't even know who he was either. He told me he played for a lower league team. Then when I found out he played for Chelsea I avoided him for three days." Esperanza shook her head at the memory of how frankly stupid she had been. Sophia laughed.

"Well, it seems like you made quite the impression on him." she said with a grin, as Esperanza's cheeks heated up, "Kai tells me he pretty much never stops talking about you."

"I'm sure he's just joking..." she mumbled, but the small, shy smile, creeping its way onto her lips was unmistakable. Sophia wasn't ignorant to it. Nor was anyone, for that matter.

João couldn't help but watch her from across the room. It seemed as if she was enjoying herself, dancing and chatting with the other girls like old friends. His gaze softened. Whenever Esperanza was happy, he found it impossible not to mirror that in himself. Her joy was infectious. Even if he was stuck waiting at the bar while people jostled him drunkenly in an attempt to get their orders heard, far away from where she was, João still could feel his heart warm.

"You really like her, don't you?" a voice said rather suddenly — and loudly — in his ear. He spun around to face Reece, who was watching him with a strange, calculating expression, like he knew some kind of secret he couldn't let him in on just yet. João smiled.

"Yeah, I do." He spoke softly, "She's — she's just perfect. Everything about her is perfect." he trailed off with a far-away looking smile, "I can't believe how lucky I got, meeting her."

Reece chuckled, "Bro, you're down bad." he clapped a hand on João's shoulder, inadvertently breaking him out of his half-trance, induced by flashes of the memories he and Esperanza had slowly been building over the weeks they had known each other.

"I'm happy for you." Reece went on, "She's a keeper, I can tell. Don't let her go if you can help it, yeah?"

João's mouth opened and closed, suddenly feeling slightly more solemn. It hurt his heart just to think about anything going wrong with Esperanza. If he had to watch her walk out of his life, just as she had done... well, he wasn't sure he could handle it. He would never tell Esperanza, for fear of scaring her off, but she was already one of the most important people in his life. Only a few weeks in, and he could already scarcely imagine his life without her.

"I wasn't planning on it." João answered back firmly. The bartender handed over their drinks next, so nothing more was said on the matter. They shared the load, carrying them over to the group, who all cheered loudly at the prospect of more alcohol. João handed over Esperanza's drink in exchange for a kiss. He delighted in the blush that spread across her cheeks as a consequence, and even more so in the sweet but brief press of her lips on his. It gave him a feeling he never wanted to give up. Not for the rest of his life.

The night grew more and more blurred together the longer they danced, drinks, freshly refilled, seeming to materialise out of thin air in their hands (they didn't really — Mason supplied them with plenty of refills, but they were too wrapped up in each other to notice). It was lucky everyone else around them seemed to be just as tipsy, otherwise, Esperanza was sure, someone would have recognised João and taken some pretty incriminating pictures. At some point, Mason and Ben dragged him away to the bar, and she was left with Sophia again. The German woman detached herself from her boyfriend (who, if the way he wrapped his arms around her and hid his face in her neck was anything to go by, seemed to be quite the clingy drunk) as soon as she noticed João's absence. Esperanza giggled at Kai's complaints, before she was being dragged out into the middle of the dance floor by Sophia, leaving him, still whining, behind.

"Anzi, there you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Doutzen yelled over the thumping bass, as she intercepted them in the middle of a throng of dancing bodies. Esperanza's eyebrow arched, taking in her appearance — her previously tamed curls now wild and rumpled, cheeks flushed, and lipstick smudged around the corners of her mouth, as well as a little on her chin. The Argentine looked to Sophia, both of their smiles morphing into smirks.

"Have you?" Esperanza drawled sarcastically. If it had been her facing accusations, she was sure she would have crawled into a hole and died of embarrassment. But of course, Doutzen van Aalsburg was not phased. She merely grinned.

"Maybe not." The Dutch woman snickered.

Typical, Esperanza thought.

They danced for a little while longer, when a song she vaguely recognised, which Doutzen claimed was her favourite, came on over the loudspeakers in a rush of bass so deep she could feel it pulsate beneath her feet. Gladly, they didn't remain stuck in the large group of clubbers for long, which, with the alcohol's influence, was beginning to resemble a mosh pit more than anything. Esperanza certainly didn't want to get beer chucked on her if she could help it. Doutzen had had more to drink than her, she figured, though that wasn't much of a surprise. The Dutch woman's movements were becoming more and more wild with each passing moment. Sophia had to catch her arms more than once before she hit someone in the face. But it was good to see her so relaxed for once. Esperanza had been beginning to fear that the stress of finals had sucked out her fun-loving, party-animal side completely.

"Are you going to tell me who he is or not?" when Doutzen and her flailing arms finally got close enough, she shouted over the music, waiting for her spaced-out expression to grow into another, very characteristic smirk.

She wasn't disappointed.

"Oh, I don't need to." Doutzen laughed, "You've met him already."

Esperanza groaned.

"Don't tell me —"

"You know, you were right, his English needs some work." The Dutch woman went on, "But it's ok. He can do much better things with that mouth."

"Doutzen!"

Esperanza's cheeks burned. Whether it was from embarrassment at her less than chaste words, or from annoyance — or even just simply from the alcohol — she didn't know. Her best friend seemed to delight in it, however. Sophia, who had drawn close enough to overhear their conversation, giggled loudly, holding her hand to her mouth to try and contain her laughter. Esperanza shot her a look which read, don't encourage her, but it wasn't long before she too was laughing. Of course Doutzen would manage to have a Chelsea player wrapped around her little finger by the end of the night. Bless poor Mykhailo's soul, Esperanza thought pityingly. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Speaking of, I think lover boy's looking for you, Anzi." The Dutch woman remarked with a faint smirk. She spun around. Sure enough there was João, stumbling his way through the crowd, craning his neck as though searching for something —or someone. As soon as his glassy eyes zeroed in on her, his whole face seemed to light up. Esperanza's cheeks ached with the size of her smile, and burned crimson when Doutzen and Sophia both snickered. In an instant, João was pushing his way through the crowd in a bid to reach her, hardly even noticing the angry curses he received in response to elbowing someone out of his way. He only had one thought on his mind.

"Amor!" he cheered brightly when he finally reached her, swooping down to press a sloppy kiss to her cheek. Esperanza chose to ignore the looks Doutzen shot her way at the nickname — something which was also unfamiliar to her, but surprisingly welcome. "Where'd you go? Been looking for you everywhere." He grinned dazedly down at her, his words slurring ever so slightly. She fought back the urge to smile.

"I've been right here this whole time." she told him softly. João pouted, as though he wished he could have kept her glued to his side the whole night, rather than let him out of his sight, even for a second. She shook her head in bemusement.

"Mhm, good. You're not going anywhere else now." he shot back. His arms snaked around her, encircling her waist and pulling her into his chest, causing her eyes to widen at the sudden movement. Esperanza braced her hands on either of his shoulders. Her eyes narrowed. Up close, she could see through the hazy club lights and make out his features clearly: his blown pupils, pink cheeks, drooping eyelids...

"How much have you had to drink?" she giggled. João didn't answer her at first, leaning down to press a kiss to the column of her throat. Esperanza craned her neck around to see if Doutzen and Sophia were still there watching them. Luckily for her, they had both turned their attention elsewhere, presumably to give them a little privacy (or as a much was possible in a crowded club). At least there would be no embarrassing questions to answer after this was all over — or at least, not too many.

"Don't know... maybe two?" João murmured his response into her neck this time, where he left a trail of soft, gentle pecks onto her flushed skin. Esperanza felt her whole body heat up at his actions, but she couldn't bring herself to stop him.

"I think you've had a bit more than that, J." she breathed out. It got caught in her throat half way.

"Maybe." João pulled back to shoot her a lopsided grin. In the absence of his lips on her skin, she suddenly felt cold. It took a fair amount of questioning (and interrogating the perpetrators involved — Mason and Ben) to figure out how much João had had to drink. Apparently the players had been doing shots at the bar for half an hour; so his sudden clinginess made a lot of sense. Esperanza had to laugh when he tried to pull her closer, but only ended up tripping over his own feet and knocking some poor, unsuspecting person's drink out of their hands. So João was a clumsy drunk. She decided to make a mental note of that for future reference.

"Wanna dance?" he shouted over the music. At first Esperanza didn't hear him, so he moved closer so his mouth was next to her ear, and asked the same question again. She shivered at the feeling of his breath on her skin.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she arched an eyebrow. João had already managed to almost knock over about ten people in the last few minutes, and they weren't even on the busiest part of the dance floor. Who knows what damage he could do while dancing. But João wouldn't take no for an answer. Esperanza yelped out in surprise as he took hold of her hand and dragged her onto the dance floor, turning over his shoulder to shoot her a grin. She huffed, though her annoyance lasted for all of a split second. João looked too happy for her to ruin it.

Neither of them knew how long they danced for — it could have been only a few minutes, but it also could have been hours. Time didn't seem to affect them anymore. Esperanza, against her better judgement, let him wrap her up in his arms, swaying them from side to side as she threw her hands up in the air. She didn't know the words to any of the songs, but she didn't mind. João's laughter in her ear was the only music she cared about. He dipped his head down to kiss her neck again, smiling into her skin. She could feel the upturn of his lips against her. Esperanza closed her eyes. For a moment, there was no one else in the room except them. They were completely wrapped up in each other. Everything else around them simply faded into the background.

The music slowed, and João captured her lips in a searing kiss. Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter that anyone could have been watching them; even taking pictures to share with the whole world afterwards, and burst their peaceful, perfect bubble. Esperanza gave in as he deepened the kiss, swallowing her whimper when his tongue slipped into her mouth. Her hands travelled slowly upwards, trailing over his chest where he'd undone a few more buttons, leaving his skin exposed. They darted to the gold chain hung around his neck, tugging on it to bring him even closer — impossibly close. João groaned against her mouth, his grip on her hips tightening. Esperanza looped her arms around his neck in response, her fingers beginning to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. She could feel him smiling now. His teeth caught against her bottom lip as he pulled away, biting down softly. Esperanza felt her stomach erupt with warmth. Something occurred to her then, prompted by the glint in his eye when he looked down at her, grinning. She'd never felt this way before — about anyone; and she knew it wasn't simply because this was her first taste of a proper relationship. There was just something special about João, something unexplainable, that drew her to him. Was this what falling in love was supposed to feel like?

"So beautiful." she heard João murmur faintly, "Meu anjo. Não posso acreditar que você é meu." I can't believe you're mine. Esperanza opened her mouth to ask what he'd said, but the words soon died in her throat. His lips found the flushed skin of her neck again. She sighed softly. He took that as an invite to kiss her again, rougher than before; hard enough to knock the breath out of her lungs. Esperanza felt like she was floating, but she had to fight to keep her head above the water. Everything around her was muffled — except him.

"J, there are people around." she came to her senses when João's hand began to wander dangerously low down the bare skin of her back. As much as his attention on her was nearly enough to make her cave completely, she'd rather not get caught in such a compromising positions by one of his fans. The consequences of simply being photographed with someone as high-profile as João Félix would most likely be dire for her, much less being spotted making out with him.

"I don't care." he groaned in response, pulling away only to press a sloppy kiss to her jaw. His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them, boring into her own with a kind of intensity that made her skin prickle, "Let them watch."

Esperanza sighed, shaking her head. "João, you're drunk." she chuckled. Just like that, the darkness faded, replaced by a pout and what she thought was his best attempt at puppy-dog eyes. His head dropped to her shoulder as he whined, mumbling some sort of barely coherent denial. Esperanza threaded her fingers through his hair, and kissed his cheek tenderly.

"Come on. Let's get you home."

Though, that was easier said than done. They said their goodbyes without mishap — though Mason and Ben both made a point of wiggling their eyebrows suggestively and whistling as soon as they turned their backs to walk out of the club. Esperanza ordered them an Uber, as by now, João was much too out of it to even reach for his wallet. They stood by the side of the road, his arms wrapped around her protectively, caging her into his body. She allowed herself to sink back into his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne. It made her feel warm and safe in a way that she never had before, knowing that he was right there beside her.

When the Uber arrived, Esperanza climbed in first, João following closely behind her. His hand immediately found its home, rested on her thigh. She chose to ignore how dangerously high up his fingers wandered. A stern look and a gentle swat of his hand was all she needed to deter his antics for the moment — though, from the mischievous look in his eye, she had a feeling she'd be dealing with his wandering hands a few more times tonight.

Soon they were back at their apartment complex, clambering out of the car in a disorderly fashion. Esperanza practically had to drag João away to stop him from tipping the confused driver almost the entire contents of his wallet. Apologising sheepishly, she handed the driver a ten pound note in exchange, before taking hold of João's hand and guiding him into the complex. It was a wonder she even managed to get them both up to their floor safely, but somehow, within a few minutes, they were stood outside João's door.

"Keys?" she asked him in a whisper. Mrs Davies' apartment was only down the corridor, and she didn't particular want to face her wrath at the present moment — especially not while he was in such a state. The old woman would have a few choice words to say about it, she was sure.

"Pocket." João mumbled into her hair. But he made no move to retrieve them. Esperanza sighed. She was going to have to do it herself if she wanted any hope of getting back to her apartment tonight. Avoiding eye contact, she reached into the pocket of his pants, cursing internally as she realised his keys had, conveniently, buried themselves right at the very bottom. Esperanza could sense him watching her, but she refused to look up. This situation was embarrassing enough without him seeing how red her cheeks were.

She breathed a sigh of relief once the cool metal was safely in her hand, and turned away to unlock the door. Her hands, to her dismay, shook ever-so-slightly. It didn't help that the light in the corridor was so dim — she could hardly see what she was doing. After an agonizing few seconds, the sound of the door clicking open echoed through the hallway. Esperanza pushed it open triumphantly. Finally, she turned to look at João. He simply smiled.

It was strange not to hear Floki skitter across the floor to greet them as normal — but she figured he was probably already asleep. The apartment was plunged into almost complete darkness. She'd grown so familiar with it in the past couple of weeks, that she probably could have painted the interior from memory. However, in the dark, everything looked different. Shadows created shapes across the ground and in Esperanza's eyes, and every time she turned her head to find a new one, she just couldn't be sure if it was a trick of the light or if she was about to walk into something. João, in his drunken state, obviously wasn't any better at navigating than her. He hissed as he stubbed his toe on the frame of his bedroom door, almost falling flat on his face. He probably would have done, if Esperanza's arm hadn't been there to steady him.

"You ok?" she murmured into the darkness. João's lips parted soundlessly. He could just about make out her face, but none of the details. He wanted to see all of her; the deep brown of her eyes, the faint freckles dusted across her nose, the single dimple in her cheek when she smiled, and the soft curve of her cupid's bow. He had a vague idea of where the light switch was, so he leaned back and fell towards the wall, in the faint hope he would fall upon it. Esperanza gasped, darting forward to catch him. But then the lights came on. João straightened himself up, grinning widely.

"Hi." he beamed, stepping forwards slowly, crowding her into his arms. Esperanza let him walk her back until she felt her bare skin pressed against the wall. That familiar warmth pooled in her stomach. He was so close now, she could see every little detail of his beautiful face — perfections and imperfections alike. She loved all of it.

"Hi." she giggled in reply. João's face softened immediately. Then before she even knew what was happening, he swooped down and pressed his lips to hers; hot and heavy and bubbling with pent up frustration. Esperanza breathed an involuntary sigh of relief. Her fingers darted into his hair, tugging until she felt him moan into her mouth. His tongue darted across her bottom lip, probing for entrance. She gladly let him, parting her lips, kissing him back with everything she had in her.

João moved her away from the wall by her hips. His hands were everywhere all at once, leaving a trail that felt like fire on her skin. In any other situation, with anyone else but him, Esperanza would have slapped him away when they moved down to her ass — but as he squeezed gently, she merely smiled. This, whatever it would turn out to be, felt far too natural to stop. He'd never touched her like this before, but it felt like he knew every inch of her body; like he'd been exploring it his entire life. Esperanza pulled him closer, if such a thing was even possible. Slowly, he walked her backwards, until her legs met the end of his bed. She let him push her down onto the sheets and crawl over her body. His hands planted on either side of her head, and that stupid gold chain he always wore dangling in front of her face. She tugged on it, pulling him down to meet her in another kiss.

Once again, time seemed to slow, as if it didn't apply to them when they were connected like this. Esperanza ran her fingers through João's hair, listening to his soft whimpers as he nuzzled his face into her neck. His grip on her hips loosened, and his kisses became more languid; sleepy, even. He didn't have the energy to complain when she gently pushed him away, her hand on his chest forcing them both to sit up.

"You need to sleep, J." she said under her breath. João opened his mouth as if to protest, but his own body betrayed him, as he struggled to fight back a yawn. Esperanza giggled. She'd never seen him look so adorable; with his flushed cheeks, droopy eyes and half-pout. She just wanted to wrap him up in her arms and never let go.

Slowly, she helped him change out of his clubwear, into something more comfortable. She considered it a blessing that he was half asleep by now, otherwise he would have been smirking so widely she would have had to stop to cover her face in embarrassment. Esperanza tried her best not to look when she slipped his shirt off his shoulders, or when he sluggishly helped her push his pants down over his thighs, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. To her relief (or perhaps disappointment) she managed to get him into an oversized shirt before her eyes had the chance to wander too far. As soon as she'd finished folding his clothes, João fell back on the bed with a dull thud, burying his face into the pillows. Esperanza smiled. She didn't plan to stay once he'd fallen asleep — she still had to work in the morning, and besides, she didn't have a spare change of clothes in his apartment. For a moment, in the quiet, it seemed as though he'd fallen asleep already. Esperanza smiled a final time, before standing up and backing towards the door as quietly as possible. But a voice stopped her in her tracks.

"You promised you'd stay."

It was João. He mumbled the words into the pillow, but she heard them clearly. A sigh slipped past her lips. She thought vaguely of reminding him that she hadn't technically promised — 'I'll think about it', were her exact words, unless she was very much mistaken. But something about the way he was gazing hopefully up at her made her hesitate. Somehow, it felt wrong to leave him now, especially after the incredible night they'd shared. It felt, to her at least, that they'd opened up a new element of their relationship; a more intimate one. Esperanza suddenly realised, that fear of appearing so vulnerable to João was no longer there. That nagging thought in the back of her mind, the one that always prevented her from letting him in fully, had subsided. So instead of smiling apologetically and promising she'd make it up to him in, Esperanza walked to João's wardrobe, changing into the first of his t-shirts that she saw, and climbed into bed with him. Almost instantaneously, his arms wrapped around her waist, as he pulled her so close that she was all but lying on his chest. She listened to the steady beat of his heart. It felt like home. All of it. All of him.

"I think you're what I've been trying to find for the past two years." João said to her later, when the room was plunged into darkness, and the only sound to be heard was the combined rise and fall of their breathing. Esperanza looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed, searching for any sign in his shadowy eyes that he was still drunk or confused in any way. None. He looked deadly serious.

"I just never realised it until now." João went on, "I tried to focus on football and training, but I always felt like something was missing." he turned his head to look her in the eye, "You were missing."

Esperanza felt like crying, but she swallowed down the lump in her throat quickly, "João..." she stammered.

"You don't have to say anything." he interrupted with a soft chuckle, "This isn't — I'm not going to ask you to be my girlfriend. Not right now. I'm not ready for that yet."

Esperanza watched curiously as he sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. Her heart lurched. She could sense, when he opened his mouth, that whatever he was about to tell her was important. She had always prided herself on being able to read people well, and in this moment, she was reminded of all the times she had sensed João was holding something back from her. Esperanza never had the courage to ask him about it. She figured he would tell her himself when the time was right — when he trusted her enough. Something in her gut told her, now was the right time to open up, just as she had done with him.

"I — I've never even considered the possibility of dating again for over two years." João spoke almost in a whisper. Esperanza hung on to his every word, "I'm always too scared. Scared that, if I let myself open up, I'll get my heart broken again. So I figured it was better to be closed off than risk getting hurt."

He breathed out shakily. Esperanza reached out to run her hand through his hair soothingly, watching as his eyes closed and his heart rate beneath her ear, which was still laid on his chest, slowed.

"My ex-girlfriend cheated on me." João spoke, "Three times, as far as I'm aware. Or it could be more, I really don't know." he sighed. Esperanza could do nothing but watch as his jaw clenched in anger, and he glanced down through misty eyes brimming with tears to shoot her a weak smile. Her heart broke for him then. She could only imagine the pain he must have experienced. Her lips peppered his jaw with soft kisses, as she prayed that whatever small actions of reassurance she could provide would at least help to make him feel a little better — to show that she was here for him.

"I loved her so much, I couldn't even bring myself to leave after the first time." he went on, "I kept telling myself it had to be me that was the problem — I had to be doing something wrong. So I stayed, and I tried to fix it. But she —she was the problem." he sighed, "Not me. It's taken me two years to realise that, you know?" he turned now to look at her fully in the eye, "For two fucking years, I've been too terrified of getting hurt again to let myself open up."

Esperanza's hand trailed down from his hair to his warm cheek, brushing away a stray tear.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, João." she whispered into his ear, holding him as he buried his face in her hair, "Not now, and not ever, ok?"

João looked up at her through misty eyes, "You promise?" he sniffled.

"I promise."

She kissed the crown of his head, pulling him into her chest, where he sighed contentedly. It was warm, laying side by side, but not just in the physical sense. Esperanza's heart felt warm too. She held on to that feeling as they both drifted into a dreamless slumber, clinging on to each other through bedsheets and clothes, as if they both knew, deep down, this moment, despite all promises, couldn't last.

BONUS!

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