Where there’s a hole…

Lazy mornings at elfsong tavern…

Vincent Price and Jane Asher in

The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

Apparently I’m a Victorian peasant because why is the leg making me go feral

He’s so Dad coded

I want to hold it (when is it my turn to be happy?)

I hate correcting customers who call me ma'am and miss and honey over the phone, because only about 30 percent of the time do they apologize and start calling me sir, while 70 percent of the time they double down assuming I was trans and continue misgendering me on purpose to show how little respect they have for me as a human being. "Thank you, MISS."

I'm a cis man, for the record.

Whenever I correct someone and they keep it up, I simply refuse service. "Oh, I'm sorry, we're completeley booked up the day you wanted. Yeah, no, we're booked up on your backup dates too. Looks like our next opening isn't until, hmm, mid-November. Oh, but it doesn't have enough beds for your party. We could probably fit you in around New Years, but you'd have to change rooms every day. You might wanna try [more expensive motel] a few blocks north of us, they might have vacancies. Have a good day."

I've been able to dodge what few complaints we've gotten so far because they all tell my boss that they just spoke to a very nasty woman, and she has no idea who they're talking about. "You must have dialed the wrong number, because I'm the only woman here, and I didn't talk to you." That PISSES THEM OFF, and she doesn't understand why they respond with "well we've been staying there for years, but we're never coming back." They think she's protecting me, an afab trans man, and are disgusted by it, but from her perspective they're just crazy people who are complaining about made up bullshit; it doesn't even cross her mind that they're talking about me. Why would it?

My boss is like 70 or 75, and was a Republican until 2016. It's never come up in conversation, but something tells me she wouldn't exactly be a trans ally. I'm in a weird position here, and it's hilarious.

I wish I had a big dick, like a horse big dick

S I R.

Vincent Price - Baron of Arizona (1950)

IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS?????

I feel like my mind is exploding.

Whitney?? A good father?? Sir????

the fact that Percy Jackson as an individual has just chugged gallons of respect women juice throughout his lifetime

Literal gallons

My favorite part of the new Percy Jackson show is whenever percabeth is percabething Grover is committed to being the funniest bitch in the show with his side quests

Losing my goddamned mind

“Then keep me instead... I’d love to see your nation.”

“You can’t come down there in that.”