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wickedpact · 3 years

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dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........ late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.) the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me:

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest.

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

#IS THIS GETTING TAGGED? YES #nicolo di genova #joe x nicky #my_essays #the fair youth saga

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crackcrocs · 3 years

Text

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿ if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

#LCZABIBU #deathwillonlybethebeginning

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0idril0 · 5 years

Text

Nico& Clint 12

Thanks @whumpywhumper!

Posting from work so I can’t do ‘read more’, I promise there’s good stuff coming y’all, just stay with me 💗 @comfy-whumpee @captivity-whump @whumpitywhumpwhump

———————————————————————

He couldn’t... he couldn’t breathe.....

Nico could feel the magic as it cascaded along his nerves, clamoring for each strand of muscle to react simultaneously.

....help....

A thick poisonous fog settled around him. Acid eating at his skin, devouring him.

.... please make it stop....

A howl slid through the fog, the sound distant in his misery. He tried to call out, air gurgling as he let out a weak whine.

Here...I’m here... please...

The hollow thumping in his chest stopped, slowly, as the pain faded into numbness....

White seared through him, and he let himself be burned away.

****

Clint snarled at the retreating truck, chuffing in frustration when there was no license plate. His foreleg pounded with dull pain, twitching against the black asphalt.

Cars slowed, passengers gawking at him as they drove past. Flattening his ears against his skull, he bared his teeth at the closest vehicle. His leg buckled as he turned, pain flaring in the damaged joint. Turning slowly, Clint felt his stiffened hackles fall, dread filling him. The steel door lay crooked against the brick wall, held up by a precarious bolt. The room within black like an open maw.

The dogs brayed in the kennel, but he barely felt a twitch of interest. He limped towards the open door without conscious thought, drawn back in. Clint paused just inside the door, numb. He’d walked through these doors with Nico hours ago.

One of the caged dogs closest to him snuffled as he started his journey again, the large wolfhound smelling the cacophony of emotion pouring from him. He leaned briefly against the cage, seeking the comfort from the simpler canid.

The kennel grew quiet as he stood there, the wolfhound’s gentle tongue cleaning away flecks of congealed blood from his snout. A nearby kennel rattled as the resident nosed at the door, whimpering quietly in concern. Gathering himself, glacially, he nosed at the cage door, allowing it to creak open. Clint opened the other kennels mindlessly, breaking those he couldn’t open without the full use of his hands. The largest dog, a Tibetan mastiff, leaned against him, nosing at the underside of his jaw as he limped towards the room.

A mournful noise slipped from Clint’s throat, resonating against the brick walls as his mismatched pack stopped just outside the surgery areas door, wood splinters skittering along the ground as smaller dogs shuffled through them.

Clint’s frame shuddered as he passed through the door, feeling like he’d stepped into a cemetery.

He had.

He keened at the thought, a shuddering sob breaking through the numbness in his chest. Clint let his head hang, unable to find the need to keep it up. His lupine cries pierced at his sensitive ears, and several of the pack cocked their ears to the noise, peering at him with emotion filled eyes. The oldest of the group shuffled forward, the golden’s fur graying with age. The male licked at Clint’s ears and eyes, nudging against him gently, but insistently.

Taking a stuttering breath, Clint dragged one paw forward, then the next, gait hitched with pain. The world blurred around as him tears filled his vision, he stood on his back legs, using his wolf’s altered anatomy to stand unsteadily.

He brought a lupine hand up, tugging at his russet fur as the change slowly began to reverse. Bracing against the steel table, he clenched his eyes shut, unwilling to acknowledge the ruin in front of him yet.

I’m so sorry, Baby. I’m so sorry. He took a jagged gasp of air, collapsing against the table. His injured arm couldn’t support him, and he tumbled forward, sobbing brokenly. “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Darlin’.... I— I’m sorry— please—-.” Snot and tears dripped down his face as his heart was crushed in his chest. His eyes burned as they opened, Nico’s face warping, refusing to come into focus.

“I’m sorry— please come back— please—“ Clint gripped Nico’s cheek gently, rubbing his nose against the strong jaw. “Please-“

Tears kept coming, dropping to the table with his slowly seeping blood. Nico’s face was slack, ice blue eyes half-lidded, staring at him. Trembling, he raised a hand to close them. Clint gathered Nico’s lax head to his chest and ignored the pain in his arms and ribs as he cradled Nico, wrapping him in a thick quilt.

He shoved the rest to the floor, kicking them until they lay spread on the ground. He laid Nico on his side on the cushioned ground, and settled behind him, using his uninjured bicep as a makeshift pillow for the lax head. Clint pressed trembling lips to Nico’s hair, holding him as close as he could. He peeled the blanket away from the tacky bandages on Nico’s chest, the fevered warmth of the slowly cooling skin making it seem like he would feel his Mate breathe at any moment.

Please. Please, let this not be real. Come back to me. Clint placed a blood stained palm against Nico’s chest, above where is heart should be pumping, and let out a strangled sob. “Pl-ple-please—“

Clint pressed himself against Nico’s back, the frail form so thin he could feel his own heart beat through the thin chest, his own shuddering sobs. He buried his cheek against the dark locks and howled.

The dogs settled around them, guarding the door, shielding them from prying eyes.

****

He was burning....

Please, just make it stop.

Fire ate its way into his heart, licked into his soul.... It consumed his memories, burning them away until nothing but ash was left....

He couldn’t... he couldn’t breathe.... couldn’t scream....

A pitiful whine nudged at him, turning to a howl when he couldn’t acknowledge it . He couldn’t even remember why it was familiar. It didn’t matter anyway. He was done. He was so very tired.

He fell through the scattered ashes of his memories, small flickers of happiness popping out at him. Clint telling him he was talented. Cuddling with Clint’s wolf form. Brian telling him that they were friends. Daniel telling him that he was worth something. Abram teaching him how to use the forge when he was away. Daniel and Abram celebrating Hanukkah, laughing as they gave up on teaching him how to pronounce the prayers... One of his foster parents telling him that he was a good kid....His siblings faces..... Mom...

“Nico, Come here, lovely, it’s time for stories.” Nico turned, feeling like he was floating in water. His mom was sitting on the couch, his little sister already snuggled up on her lap. His lips trembled as he rushed to them, bouncing against the cushions as he engulfed them into a hug. His arms were too small to fit around her and his sister, but he tried, burying his face against his little sister’s curly black hair, pressing his ear against his mom’s chest.

Her laugh was like Christmas bells, and he couldn’t help the wet giggle that joined hers. “Oh my little Coca-Cola.” Her palms squished his cheeks, bringing him up to face her. “I love you, Beautiful. Now! Time for stories.”

He remembered this..... she would read them poems. She’d use her magic to put shadow puppets on the walls, to teach them about magic, that people were people no matter their gifts.

“Now, this one, my little Cola, is especially for you.” Her delicate finger brushed against his nose, and he beamed at her.

“Did your magic tell you about it, Mama?”

She smiled wistfully. “Yes, Cola, it did. It wanted me to tell you that you are so deeply loved. It even gave me a poem to read to you, do you want to hear it?”

Nico nodded vigorously, dark curls bouncing into his bright blue eyes. His little sister giggled, slapping at his cheek as it rubbed against her head.

“Okay, kitten, this is a poem by Pablo Neruda.” She gathered him close, tucking his head against her chest as she used a free hand to prop open a small book.

“I love you without knowing how.

Or when. Or from where.

I love you simply.

Without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this.

In which there is no I or you.

So intimate that your hand upon my chest

is my hand.

So intimate that when I fall asleep

your eyes close.”

He remembered looking at her strangely as a few tears had streaked down her cheeks. “I don’t understand, Mama.”

She had smiled sadly before pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead. “You will, sweetheart. You’re going to be so very lucky.” Nico snuggled back into her side, memorizing the sensation again.

“I miss you, Mama...” his eyelids were heavy, and he fought against them, trying to stay in the memory.

“I know you do, Nikola, but we will be with you forever.”

——————————————————

#nico series #nico #whump #poor nico #poor clint #comfort is coming #i promise #tw: death #grief/mourning

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alloveroliver · 5 years

Text

Tell Me Anything Answers

From the V-Day Smooch Event Survey~💋

(Suggestions, comments, questions, or just say Hi!)

Here is where I answer some questions and just plain ol’ respond to all the positive feedback I got for fun!

Take the kiss survey HERE!

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ୨♡୧ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

HI I LOVE YOU -I love you too!!! Thanks for filling out my survey XD

Hiiii you’re awesome!!! - No, you’re awesome!

Thank you! -You’re v welcome my friend

Can I just like... Smooch Zero all over his sweet face? Or have Seth smooch me all over MY sweet face~ -So pure! <3 Goals tbh. I will add this to my list of ideas cuz I like this xD

A scavenger hunt! Maybe ending in a proposal?🤔 -I actually love this! I'll add it to my idea pile XD

Hi! Hope you're doing good😊😊- I am doing great! Thank you! I hope you are well~

Hi thanks so much for this event, it will probably be more fun then what rev does! Looking forward to it so much! Thank you for all the effort you always put into your work and for sharing it for us all to read!-skjfdlsldfk AHHH YOU'RE AWESOME! I appreciate your words of encouragement so much! I hope this event is fun for everyone! A small healthy competition and some smooches seem like a good way to kick off valentine's day.

Hi ^^- helooooo <3

You're the best, ash!- AH! TY! I think you’re the best sooo

Hiya! Just wanted to say I love your writing! Always eager to see more.-Oh thank you so much!!!! I’m so happy to share something I love with the world! And i'm DOUBLE happy people are enjoying it!

Psst ily <3- ILY TOO! lsdjflksdj

I love both Jonah and Edgar. It's sooo hard to pick one for Red Army 😭 Can I not kiss Black Army to kiss our Red Queen and Jack instead XD I love your writing and room full of Oliver! - I know it's hard to pick just one D’: but don’t fret! Even if they don’t win this time around, there will be another open request box soon!!! I’m so happy you love my writing! Ty for telling me! And ROOM FULL OF OLIVER YES!!! I love those little chibis XD even the grumpy ones.

Have a wonderful day Mrs. Ash Knight :)- AHHHHHHHHHHH!~~!!!!!! YOU JUST MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE CALLING ME THAT! I'M MARRIED YALL!!!! LSDJFLSJDFL I am legally obligated to have a wonderful day now after reading that XD XD XD Tbh this will be my pen name from now on XD

WHATEVER YOU WRITE IS A BLESSING AND I'LL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!! -THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! I’m excited to see what prompts come above the rest!

Love your writing! Xoxo- Thank you so much! XOXOXO I appreciate you!

💖💖💖💖- <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hello! Thanks for doing this <3 lots of hugs from a fan!- Hi! You’re v welcome my friend! I hug you back HARDER! *Many bear hugs*

Ily pls hydrate urself- ILY TOO! I cannot hydrate, for when I see Oliver I simply become hella thirsty.

I love your work <3- I am so happy! Thank you so much!!! I am happy to share it with you!

JSJSJSHKWJQ STOP MAKING ME CHOOSE ;;;;; but thank you for doing this! ♡♡♡♡♡- Lololololol. I am happy to do this! You are welcome XD <3

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️- XOXOXOXOXOXO *Muah*

Hallo~! Good luck ducky. Wish ya the best on your writing prompts.- Thanks for the luck! Also, you said ducky and I thought of the creeks helping me type out the fics XD They would be good helpers tbh.

Hi! <333- Hey! <3 Thanks for filling out the survey

Just to say thanks for doing this <3<3- *Muah!* You’re welcome, my friend!

Thank you for doing this survey! I appreciate that you’re writing things for us, and can’t wait to see what comes out as the winning prompt! - NP NP!!! I am happy to do so! I want to make this round of fics extra special! I hope you enjoy them!!! Thank you <3

Hello! I love your stories! As someone who spends a lot of time on tumblr reading b/c the teacher can't recommend me stuff, I really appreciate it. A thank you from a struggling student trying ( and failing) to get her life together.- XD I'm glad to be of assistance! I am still very new to writing but with encouragement like this, it makes me want to practice more!!! Thank you!

Luka! :)- I agree 100%. <3 <3 <3

Hello! I just want to say, I love your writing! I’m a newer fan, but I already love your stuff! I don’t really have any questions though... whatever. Bye! <3 Lots Of love! - Thank you for telling me you love it!!! I appreciate you! Welcome to my blog XD lol Happy to have you <3

I'm not sure if you would know but when do you think Loki's Main Route will come out? I just finished Edgar's (🎉👏♥️😍😍) and I'm not sure if I should wait or if I should just play Jonah's route as if there is time.-I am going to guess around the end of Feb. Maybe the 20-22 since the new bonus stories end around that time XD Might be a few days before, but all the bonus stories will be released before the route is released I'm sure. OH! You can start a new route! Ikerev allows you to switch routes for free and it saves you spot on the old route! So whenever you want to go back, you don’t have to start all over again. I hope that helps!

I'm so excited for this. Can't wait! Thank you. I'm looking forward for it~ (๑>ᴗ<)و- I can’t wait either!!! I’m glad you’re excited! This is gonna be so much fun XD

I love your writing and am super excited you are doing this event! Eagerly awaiting the winners and the stories!!!- Thank you so much!!!! That makes me giddy that you like my writing!!!! I am also eagerly awaiting. I’m taking bets with myself to see who’s going to win in each category XD

I'm really glad I subscribed to your blog as soon as I found it :з Keep being awesome (and don't push yourself) - Oh yay!!! I am super happy you did! I update a lot right now lolol. And if they ever release Olivers route NO FORCE CAN STOP ME! XD XD XD but also your concern is so sweeeeet lasdjgldsjkfl I may push myself a bit but I will take lots of breaks I promise! Thank you! <3

Hewwo :3- Henlo :3

I love your writing, it makes me feel like I can travel to a different universe without leaving my bedroom :) - WOW OMG THIS IS A HUGE COMPLIMENT TY!!!!! I strive for this!! I want to be transported somewhere everytime I read and I'm so happy to be doing that for you!!!! <3

Loki & Me are my OTP. This rhymes, so it counts as a poem- lmFAO you crack me up XD. It does, you are a poet now my friend.

I wuv you Ash, you is a good bean <3- I love you tooo!!! I’m happy to be a bean :3 Thank you for taking your time to do this survey!!! You’re awesome!!!

Love your work!!! My heart skips a beat whenever I see you post new stuff! As a fellow writer, let’s support each other! -IT SKIPS A BEAT!? I AM SLDKGJLKSDFJ SPEECHLESS TY!!!! I am here to support all writers!!!

Hello you wonderful person you. 😘- WONDERFUL!? LSDJGFLSDJF YOU’RE SO SWEET! I think YOU are wonderful!!!!

Hewwo I luv you uwu- :3 hello!!!! ILY!!!!

I have nothing to say except I'm excited to see what you come up with! Your stories are always amazing and I'm sure these will be too! :)- WOW TY! Thank you so much! I work really hard to try to make something fresh and new every time and I’m glad you like them!!!! I am excited to see what comes out of the tips of my fingers too XD XD

I say hi! Good luck for this event! You're doing amazing ~- Pure. Wholesome. I love you. Thank you!

This is fun! Thank you.- Woo! Im glad it’s fun!!! NP NP! I appreciate you!

I love you and your writing you are so amazing ❤❤❤❤❤- I LOVE YOU MORE!!!! AHH~!! Youre awesome! Thank you for the compliment!!!! <3 <3

Some of those prompts seemed a little assulty?? I'm sorry! E.g. kisses them to make them stop saying something; angry kisses (no consent...) - These are prompts and not stories, so extrapolating saying its non-consensual is of your own imagination. “Angry kisses,” and “Stopping someone one from saying something with a kiss,” can be written a thousand different ways. Many of the prompts here have hundreds of different scenarios to be written around. However, If I write something, that is dub/con or non/con it will be tagged at the beginning of the fic so you can freely skip over it. :)

This will be exciting. I’m Looking forward to reading your stories. -I am perpetually excited as I tally up the smooches! I can’t wait to post them to see what you think! <3

This is a great idea and a big inspiration, thank you! - IM GLAD YOU THINK SO!!! <3 <3 You’re v welcome! XOXO

I appreciate all the work you put into this. The prompts are so interesting. Fenray kiss!- YOU APPRECIATE ME OGMOMG TY!!!!! ILY ILY. I’m glad you like the prompts XD I sifted through so many until I was happy with the ones left hehe. FENRAY! They seem to be v popular! I also ship them, but I am a slut and I ship everyone with everyone sooo xD

I love your work!❤- THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’m glad!!!!! This fills my heart with joyyyyy!

Hi! ;-)- Hellloooo *wink wonk*

I love your blog❤️❤️- I appreciate that!!! Thank you for taking my survey! XD

I'm so excited to see the results of this!! I hope Blanc will get a story >////<- I am excited too!!! You never know who will come out on top! The results have been going back and forth a bit XD

Hi Ash, I'm already looking forward to the outcome of this survey- Hey!!! I am so ecstatic!!!!! I will be posting a bunch of graphs to show the results. So that should be fun to see <3

Are you going to write a fic for each category? I'm really looking for them!! 💕- I sure am! I have 5 fics waiting to be planned based on the results! I will also be doing some inspo-driven drabbles of some of the results for funsies XD

SENPAI!!! I love your work! Are you excited for Loki’s route?- sldkjglsjdf IM NOTICING YOU!!! Lolol omg (that was a dumb joke from me sorry lol). I am so happy you love my work!!!! THANK YOUUUU I am v excited for Loki’s route! I think Loki is an interesting guy and he’s got a back story I’d like to sip through a straw.

Thank you a lot for doing this, you're awesome ♡- You are welcome my friend!! And I think YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

God's work op!!!!- lololool THANKS! XD Thank you for taking the survey!

Hello, Ash!- Hello there! I hope you have a great week!

I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your Lancelot x Alice fics! They are masterpieces and your writing is so awesome! - MASTERPIECES!? AHHH!!!! TY!!!! <3 <3 BLESS YOU lsjdkflsjfd I-um-lowkey LOVE Lance. It was his side content that got me tbh. I feel like I connected with him more with the side content. Maybe because I played his route early on and was v new to ikerev. Either way, he's, uhhhh a top bae now XD

Please write more Lance and Alice fics! I always enjoy reading them:)- Yes!!!! There will be more in the future for sure! XD I sooo soo happy you enjoy them!!!

I'm also really looking forward to your ""kiss in the rain"" fic, featuring Lancelot and Alice. I just hope you decide that this fic is worth writing!- It’s going to be based on popular vote, but the kiss in the rain seems to be a general fav! So I’m excited to see who wins and who gets it! XD

I wish you the best of luck for the upcoming Valentine's gacha!- Thank you so much!!! I can’t wait to see what the gacha gods have in store for me this round XD Thanks for the luck!!! <3

こんにちわ！😁 - Howdy XD

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ୨♡୧ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

-Some are edited to conceal people’s identity or a defining feature XD (just to keep this anon since I didn’t ask specifically if anyone wanted to be called out <3)

I want to thank everyone for participating in the voting!!! I had a bigger turnout than I would have ever dreamed! You guys are awesome and I am looking forward to writing these fics for you lovely people 💋

If you haven’t already, Take the kiss survey HERE!

#valentines day smooch event #alloveroliver #responces #ikemen revolution

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annemareads97 · 6 years

Text

Short story! Pls read <3

Since I got quite a few positive responses, I’ve decided to go ahead and post some of my past assignments - although I won’t do any editing before posting them, meaning what I post is the same as what I handed in.

This first one is a roughly 2200 word short story which I did for my Fictional Writing module. Enjoy!

To Die For

Getting a degree hadn’t really been something Jonathan specifically wanted, rather, it was what was expected of him. He’d always done well in school, so when the time came for his classmates to apply for universities, he found himself doing the same. His mum had been so proud when he got his first unconditional offer back, and his dad had mumbled something that almost sounded encouraging. They had been ever so disappointed in his older sister when she decided to go off to London to “try to make it” as an actress. He still spoke to her, and so far, all she really did was work three part-time jobs.

Jonathan’s family had always had money. Growing up, he had everything he could ever want, to the point where his classmates kept looking at him as “that spoiled rich kid”, despite the fact that he never shoved his wealth in their faces. It didn’t really matter in the long run, though. Sure, he might not have had loads of friends, but they weren’t really worth his time anyway. They were all so stupid and, well... childish.

Now, here he was, starting his first year at a university he didn’t really like, studying something he wasn’t really interested in. But again, that didn’t matter. Nothing really did. As long as his parents didn’t throw him out, everything would be fine. He was sure of it.

“Hey, Jonny-boy, you gonna join us tonight or what?”

“Jonny-boy” rolled his eyes at his flat-mate. Imbeciles, the lot of them. “What’s tonight?”

“Well, it’s the Full Moon Party, innit?” Gregg grinned.

Jonathan sighed. “That’s just stupid - the full moon was two nights ago”, he muttered.

“What was that?”

“I said: you have fun with that. I, however, have better things to spend my time on than fraternising with a bunch of drunk teenagers making decisions they’ll regret in the morning.”

Gregg stared at him for a bit with that empty stare of his, until Jonathan took pity on the other boy. “That means thanks, but no thanks. Oh, and try not to get too smashed, will you? I am not cleaning up the kitchen floor one more time.”

They’d been here for three days, and Jonathan was already regretting living in halls. He considered calling up his dad and telling him that he couldn’t possibly be expected to study in such an environment - maybe his parents would get him a flat down in town - but, no. He wasn’t really on speaking-terms with his father at the moment, still angry that he had cut off any funding for Elizabeth.

“Yeah, no worries, mate”, Gregg smiled. How was he always so happy? “You really oughta come with us some time, though. Fresher’s Week is only once in your life.”

“Sure thing, Gregg.”

His first week of classes was soon coming to an end, and Jonathan had still to meet anyone intelligent enough to befriend. As had really been a problem his entire life... Maybe he ought to lower his standards a bit?

Just as he was contemplating whether or not he might be the problem, the chair beside him was pulled out, and a girl sat down.

“...can I help you?”

The girl turned to look at him, surprised. “What, this seat’s not taken, is it?”

“Noo...” Jonathan trailed off. No one had willingly sat with him yet, and there were still loads of free seats in the classroom. He supposed he shouldn’t question it, though. Perhaps this girl was his chance.

“Great”, she smiled at him - a smile that made something stir deep in his stomach. “Then I’m gonna sit here.”

“Okay...”

Now that he was really looking at her, he could see that was actually really pretty - in an understated way. She wasn’t one of those typical “popular” girls, but he thought she could have been, if she had dressed the part. Instead, she wore a simple pinstriped button-up shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. Her mousy-brown hair was bunched up into a messy bun, and she wore a pair of old-fashioned, squared glasses, the kind that was popular these days. She looked professional, much more so than any other student he had met so far, and he had to admit he was slightly impressed at her style.

“I’m Hannah, by the way. Hannah Brown”, she interrupted his musings, sticking out a hand to him.

He took it automatically, hoping she didn’t notice that his hands had gone clammy. “I’m uhm... Jonathan”, he stuttered. Her hand was really soft. “Jonathan Campbell.”

“Nice to meet you, Jonathan Campbell.”

There was a sparkle in her eyes, he noticed then, just before he realized that he’d been staring at her. He hastily looked away, just in time for the tutor to enter the room.

Throughout the class, he kept sneaking glances at this girl, at Hannah. Never before had he noticed someone in this way. He’d never really connected with anyone, except for his sister who had all but raised him. But this was different. He understood, all of a sudden. All those songs and poems and stories, everyone going on about racing hearts and butterflies in your stomach.

He glanced over at the girl beside him once more, and this time she was already looking at him. He blushed, looking away quickly, but not before seeing the smile she gave him.

Yeah. He got it now.

They didn’t really speak after class. Hannah seemed to be an attentive student, which, of course, just made her all the worthier of Jonathan’s attention. But Jonathan wasn’t really used to this weird need to impress, so he did what anyone would do in his situation.

He packed up his things and fled the room.

Upon returning to halls, Gregg was the only of his flat-mates there, as per usual. Jonathan considered simply turning around and heading to his room, but decided he’d generally been a bit mean towards Gregg - and he still kept trying to be nice to him for some reason.

“Yo, Jonny! My man!”

Jonathan closed his eyes, let out a heavy sigh, and silently counted to three. “Hi Gregg. How are you?”

“Mate, why you always so proper-like?” Gregg asked, chuckling.

Jonathan shot his flat-mate a tight smile. “Just the way I was raised, I suppose. We can’t all be chavs, can we?”

He regretted the words as soon as they were uttered, and Gregg gasped loudly. “You calling me a chav?”

“Well, I-”

“Mate! And here I thought you were no fun!” the other boy guffawed, clearly taking the comment in stride, which made Jonathan wonder briefly if the boy tried to act like a chav. “Hey, what you studying again? I keep forgetting.”

It shouldn’t be too hard to remember what your five flat-mates were studying, but Jonathan opted not to voice that thought. “I’m doing law”, he answered simply. “You’re sports coaching, right? How you finding your classes?”

Gregg laughed again. “Nah, mate, I haven’t even been to any yet!”

Jonathan blinked in silence. Gregg may be nice enough, but he must have been one of the dumbest people on campus.

All throughout the following week, Jonathan found himself looking forward to his Friday-afternoon lecture. He couldn’t stop thinking about Hannah - there was just something about her. If she sat by him again, he decided, he was going to talk to her. Only, when he entered the classroom five minutes before the lecture was set to start, Hannah was already there, deep in conversation with another girl. He tried not to feel disappointed - after all, it wasn’t like they were friends. Instead, he found himself a seat in the back of the classroom and sullenly got his books out.

He didn’t pay any attention to the tutor. For three hours, he sat there, staring at the back of Hannah’s head. He barely even noticed that class was finished - and the only reason he did notice was because Hannah started packing up her things. He hurriedly got his own things together and stood to leave just as Hannah turned his was.

“Jonathan Campbell!” she exclaimed. “Didn’t see you there! Why didn’t you come say hi?”

Jonathan sputtered out an attempt at a response. Is that what he should have done? Just gone up to her and said something?

“Oh, well. At least you’re here now”, Hannah smiled widely. “I was wondering - have you started your essay yet? You see, I was thinking we could work on it together. If you don’t mind, that is.”

“Yes. No. I mean, yes, I have started, but I still have quite a bit left, so- well, we could work together, I suppose. I’m not really used to working with anybody, though, and I don’t really see how it would benefit either of us. It’s not like I can do it for you. I mean, I could, but I won’t. That is, you should do your own essay... But I suppose it wouldn’t- wouldn’t hurt to do it together. Or, you know, not together together, but in the same room, at the same time... Working... So... yes. My answer is yes. I- I think I’d like that...”

Jonathan blinked stupidly. Had he just said all of that? He never rambled. Never. God, what was this girl doing to him?

A giggle broke him out of his trance. “Okay then”, Hannah laughed. “Give me your number, and I’ll text you when I’m free. Sound good?”

He nodded - a bit too eager, perhaps, but what the hell. If he hadn’t scared her off with that monologue, he doubted he could do worse.

Three days passed before he heard anything from Hannah, but on Monday, he finally got a text from an unknown number.

Hey! You free this afternoon? Around 4-ish? xx Hannah

His heart skipped a beat as he read the message, grinning to himself. She added kisses. Was that a thing she did to everyone, or was he special? Jonathan had never really texted a girl before, so he wasn’t sure how much he should read into it. He quickly shook himself from that train of thought. She’s just a girl, he silently chided himself.

Sure, he texted back. Meet at the library?

The reply came quickly.

See you there! xx

When Jonathan arrived at the library, Hannah was already sat at a table with her laptop and two lidded paper-cups. The girl seemed to brighten as soon as she saw him approaching.

“Hiya, Jonathan Campbell!”

He smiled shyly at her as he took a seat. “How come you always call me by my full name?” he asked. It was a detail he had noted the first time it happened, but he hadn’t felt like he could ask before now.

Hannah shot him a secretive smile - a smile that, for some reason, made him feel a bit uneasy. “I just want to remember your name, is all. Jonathan Campbell.”

He nodded slowly at her nonsensical answer. And the way she had said his name right then sounded almost... ominous.

“Right”, he muttered. “Should we get started then? How far have you gotten on your essay?”

The girl hummed softly as she opened up her laptop. “Oh, not far.”

She left it at that, and they both started to work in silence. Jonathan tried his best to read the situation. Hannah seemed different somehow. Well, he didn’t really know her yet, he supposed, but there was just... something.

“That other coffee is for you, by the way”, her voice sounded after a few minutes, and he looked up to meet her vigorous gaze.

“Oh. I- Well, that’s nice of you, but I don’t really... drink coffee”, he answered apologetically.

“You don’t... Oh. Well”, she trailed off, seeming rather put off by this statement. “I could get us tea instead!” she suddenly exclaimed.

What?

“You don’t have to-”

“No, no, it’s really not a problem”, she brushed him off, starting to make her way to the hot drink machine before he could get another word in. She came back with another two cups and handed him one. He smiled tightly at her, thanking her, but she just stood there for a bit, staring expectantly. Hesitantly, he put the cup to his lips, pretending to take a sip. She finally sat back down, seeming pleased with this action.

Well. That was... not a good thing, was it? A pity, he supposed. It had seemed like she had such potential. His infatuation with her, however, was gone as soon as it had come.

The pair got back to work, only talking a few times to bounce ideas off each other. Eventually, Hannah excused herself to go to the bathroom, and that’s when Jonathan made his move, switching their cups. Hannah had only taken a sip or two, so she would hardly notice the difference.

When she returned once more, Jonathan made a show of taking a sip of his - her? - cup. “It’s good tea”, he said, and Hannah’s answering grin sent a shiver up his spine.

“Oh, absolutely”, the girl replied enthusiastically, lifting her own cup to take a drink. “It’s simply to die for.”

You didn’t say anything about whether or not you wanted to be tagged when I did post, but thanks for the support guys! @moonbow-ink @robin-sidereus @moved-my-blog @aeniith @parttimewriter-fulltimefangirl @delerious-wordsmith @runningoutofbooks @serpencina @ajtorres0

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fedal-is-another-world · 6 years

Text

I was tagged by @psgmylife , thanks :) (oh and thanks for tagging me as one of your fav blogs, you are lovely <3)

Rules:

1. Post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you 3. Make eleven questions of your own 4. Tag eleven people

1. What’s your favorite poem and why?

I’m Hungarian and I adore everything about Hungary’s 20th century poetry. During the war so my amazing poems were born, full of emotions and hope. Even if they are “just” about everyday life, they were written beautifully.

And if I have to choose one poem written in English, that would be “If” by Kipling.

2. How are you feeling right now?

Oh really good question. So many (maybe too many) emotions mixed together. Dont know how to describe them.

3. If you could choose a famous person to spend an afternoon with, who would be and to what city would you both go?

Dodie Clark. Yeah, definitely dodie. We would walk around in London, or sit down in a small cafe and talk about everything. Ups and downs, music, movies, life and stuff.

4. What’s your favorite movie and why?

Movies are my passion, dont make me choose one pls :) But I’m gonna give some examples I guess. So maybe “La la land” or “Brooklyn”. “One flew over the cuckoo's nest”. Or literally any black-white film.

The explanation why I love them so much would be too long... :)

5. Best time of the day?

Late at night or very early in the morning

6. Best season of the year and why?

Autumn time is my all time fav. And maybe the beginning of winter. I love wearing big sweathers and socks and drinking tea all day long while watching a good movie or series or reading an interesting book and listening to music. And I’m that type of person (sorry not sorry) who feels the christmas vibes right after halloween so....

7. What’s your favorite food? Best restaurant/place to eat it?

Italian food is the best. I had a chance to eat it in Roma, nothing can be compared to that.

8. Name your future son or daughter.

Cornelia or Charlotte or Jane. Sebastian or Rafael

9. Favorite sports team?

I support Barca in football. But I really enjoy watching the Hun teams in waterpolo or handball.

10. A place in the world you would like to visit.

The mountains in Switzerland. Any part of Spain or Italy. Ireland. Anything in South America or Africa

11. Let us know your favorite quote:

“ You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” - Stephen King

My questions:

1. Name one thing you love in yourself:

2. That one artist/band you can listen to anywhere, anytime:

3. A nation’s culture you love and wanna know more about:

4. Favorite thing to relax, to clear mind?

5. Favorite snack or cookie?

6. Favorite character? (from a movie, book or anything)

7. What is your dream job?

8. What is the thing you admire most about a person?

9. Best live experience? (a concert, a match or anything)

10. Dream place to live?

11. Superpower you wanna have?

I dont wanna tag anybody directly but if you fancy answering these questions just do it :)

Ahh I really enjoyed doing this, thanks for tagging me <3 (and sorry for any mistakes my English skills are far from perf)

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toddsfall · 7 years

Text

Oh, what are you willing to do?

Written for day 5 of Nurseydex week :)

summary: What do you do when your friend is hurting and you're too far away to comfort him?

read on ao3 (which I would recommend doing, since I didn’t copy the formatting on here :p)

It's not like they had never talked before the summer started. Logically, Nursey knew that. Still, he couldn't help but smile at how close his friends felt when he kept in touch with them like this on the daily. Summer in New York away from the guys didn't seem so daunting anymore. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He was so glad Chowder didn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon. The dude was never shy to let them know how he was feeling. It was one of his best qualities and Nursey loved him for it.

The Frogs B-)

Chowder: I miss you guys :(

Nursey: aw me 2 c

Dex: same

Chowder: What have you been up to?

Dex: work mostly, kinda boring

Chowder: aw no tell us about it! We're interesting. Right, Nursey?

Nursey: sure

Dex: oh okay

Dex: I'm working in my uncle's shop this summer

Dex: it's a hardware store, but we haven't had many customers. so, pretty boring

Chowder: pity :(

Nursey: u should install some games on ur phone

Dex: hmm maybe

Dex: what are you doing, then? roaming around the city?

Nursey: p much, yeah

Nursey: I'm looking for inspiration, trying 2 write some poems

Chowder: cool! what are they about?

Nursey: lots of things

Nursey: the city, my mom, summer, etc

Nursey: I even wrote one about you guys

Chowder: noice

Dex: u should write about the ocean

Nursey: I don't see much of it, but yeah. maybe

Chowder: I have the best view of the ocean anyway B)

Nursey: oh, here we go again

Dex: Christopher Chow I love you with all my heart but you are Wrong

Chowder: :))))

Nursey: pls

Dex: ...

Chowder: I'm going to go help my mom with food

Chowder: we should keep talking guys

Chowder: it feels weird not talking to you guys every day

Nursey: I feel that

Dex: we will C, don't worry. go help your mom :)

Chowder: toodles

The Frogs B-)

Chowder: u know who's really pretty and smart

Chowder: and funny

Chowder: Farmer

Nursey smiled down at his phone. Chowder had many good qualities. Subtlety was not one of them. He was surprised it had taken Chowder a full two weeks before asking though.

Nursey: hmmm

Nursey: are you perhaps trying to ask us if you can add Farmer to the groupschat Chowder

Chowder: ... perhaps

Nursey: go ahead dude

Chowder: you won't regret it!

Chowder: I'm just tired of having to keep typing things in double when I have news to share

Nursey: lol

Chowder added Caitlin Farmer to the chat

Nursey: sup Farms

Cait: hey guys

Nursey changed the name of the chat to Farmer and the Frogs

Cait: oh that sounds like it could be our college band name

Chowder: omg yes! too bad I can't play any instruments :(

Nursey: too bad, we'd look so hot

Dex: oh good another rational person

Cait: hey dex, honored to join the chat

Cait: it's kinda infamous to me now lmao, Chris has told me a lot about it

Nursey: oh no

Dex: not cool c

Dex: what happens in the groupchat stays in the groupchat

Chowder: don't worry I didn't tell her about your embarrassing encounter with that cashier the other day

Chowder: oops

Cait: what happened?

Nursey: Dex stumbled when he got to the register

Nursey: he was holding a very juicy tomato in his hand

Nursey: and he was wearing a white t-shirt

Nursey: it was a very Me move

Cait: oh no :o

Dex: I feel very betrayed right now

Chowder: sorry Dex, I'll try not to do it again

Chowder: but Cait can be VERY persuasive

Cait: *wiggles eyebrows*

Cait: yeah I can

Dex: no flirting in the groupchat

Farmer and the Frogs

Nursey: why did I do this

Dex: what's up Nurse?

Nursey: remember how I thought it might be fun to enter that writing contest?

Nursey: Yeah, it's no fun

Dex: have you written anything for it yet?

Nursey: yeah I have a big chunk of it lined out

Nursey: I just can't bring myself to write :(

Dex: hey no pressure

Dex: I know that's weird coming from me, but putting too much on yourself just isn't going to help right

Nursey: yeah I know, it's just. I wanted to do this

Nursey: make myself proud or whatever

Dex: hey what about this

Dex: you promise to do nothing but focus on your writing for the next ten minutes

Dex: and I'll be proud FOR you

Nursey: aight i'll try

Cait: oh sorry only seeing this now, I was at work

Cait: how's the writing going Nursey? :)

Nursey: I actually made myself sit at myself and write

Nursey: and the chances of me actually finishing this thing are looking a lot brighter

Cait: yay!

Chowder: we're proud of you too!

Cait: you bet :D

Nursey: thanks guys :)

D-menlicious

Nursey: thanks for earlier bro

Nursey: you actually helped me

Dex: you're welcome Nursey :)

Nursey: :)

That night, Nursey went to bed feeling very grateful for his friends. He stared at his phone, trying to see if Dex was going to say something else. When it didn't look like he had anything more to add, he went to sleep.

Farmer and the Frogs

Nursey: do you guys ever think about how small we are and how infinite the universe is?

Cait: all the time lol

Nursey: it's craaazy

Cait: tell me about it

Dex: guys please go to sleep it's 4 am

Nursey: okay but why are you awake dude

Dex: I'm already up bro

Dex: have to drive my uncle around today, we're talking to his suppliers

Nursey: kay, good luck

Cait: night guys

Nursey: night

Nursey: and morning Dex

Farmer and the Frogs

Dex: fuck fuck fuck

Dex: ugh

Nursey: bro?

Nursey: what's up?

D-menlicious

Nursey: Dex?

Nursey: what's wrong

When Dex still hadn't answered after ten minutes, Nursey decided to call him. Maybe he was feeling worried over nothing, but he wanted to make sure. Dex was there for him when he needed him, now he could be there for him too.

Dex picked up after three rings. "Hey Nursey." He sounded tired, but not in a panic or anything. Nursey blew out a breath.

"What's up man? I saw your post in the chat. Sorry I didn't answer immediately, I was writing."

"That's okay. I was just blowing off some steam. Don't worry about it."

"Well, I have you on the phone now. You might as well tell me. C'mon, I'm your d-man. Let me carry the weight, got your back and all that."

"It was nothing major, really. Just one of those days you know?" Nursey hummed, he knew those days well. He was in fact so intimately familiar with those day, that he might as well be in a long-term relationship with them by now. Dex continued. "Like, this morning. I overslept, so I had to rush to the store and I couldn't eat breakfast. Then, to add to my already great morning mood, I dropped a wrench on my foot. Of course, I was wearing work boots. That didn't stop it from hitting my shin, though."

Nursey sucked in a breath. "Ouch, that sounds painful."

Dex huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, it fucking was. And then after my morning in the darkest timezone had finally ended, of course everyone in town suddenly decided to stop by the store. I was swamped all afternoon. God, I'm so tired."

"That sucks dude, but now you're home right? Go rest. Watch some youtube videos of people doing stupid things and falling. Those always cheer you up. Forget about this day for a bit."

Dex sighed. "I wish I could. I got home with that exact plan in mind. But of course my teenage sister has decided that today is the day she's going to rebel against my parents. I heard them fighting when I came in. And now everyone is in a foul mood."

"Yikes. Alright dude. Let's go, you're getting out of the house." Nursey was already getting, putting on his shoes.

"Where am I supposed to go? Nursey, what are you doing?" Dex said, sounding concerned.

"Go sit outside, your yard or your roof or whatever. Just, somewhere without any people around. Can you do that?" Nursey tried not to sound too excited. He was just helping his friend. Not his crush.

Dex sighed again, but Nursey could tell it was the kind of sigh that came before Dex decided to give in. "Okay, fine. I'm going outside right now. Hold on, I'll call you back."

"Aight dude, take your time. I want to show you something."

Nursey went outside, grabbing a blanket as he went. He wanted to settle in before Dex called back.

It wasn't long before he got the call. "Okay, okay I'm on my roof. What now, Nursey?" He could hear the smile in Dex's voice. Good, he was getting him out of his head already.

"I'm going to FaceTime you. Hang up."

Derek Nurse calling

Nursey waved at Dex. "Hey Dexy! Okay, I'm going to show you the view from my roof." He moved his camera around while he went on. "It's nothing special, I know. I just like coming up here when I'm feeling down. Look how pretty and pink the sky looks, though. That's pretty dope right?"

Dex's camera showed his face. A small smile was creeping in the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, it's pretty dope Nursey."

They stayed talking like that for a long time. Nursey felt a little overwhelmed, he hadn't been able to look at Dex's face for most of the summer. Snapchat just wasn't the same. Eventually though, he had to admit that he was getting cold. The sun had set and on the roof, a cool night breeze was giving him goosebumps. "I'm going to have to go inside soon, I'm getting a little cold."

Dex smiled at him, looking infinitely more relaxed than he had hours before. "Okay Nursey. But first, let me show you something too." He turned his phone so Nursey could see the night sky. There were many more stars visible than he could see in the middle of the city.

"Wow, that's pretty cool." The comfort of the moment must have gone to his head, because he added. "Those stars kind of remind me of your freckles."

Dex flipped the camera back around. His blush was visible, even in the low light of his phone. "Oh. Well, thanks. I guess?" His nose scrunched up.

"You're welcome." Nursey smiled at him. He looked adorable.

Dex's answering smile was blinding.

Farmer and the Frogs

Chowder: sooo what's up guys

Chowder: me and Cait are going to the aquarium today :DD

Cait: we're v excited

Nursey: sounds great bros

Dex: have fun

Chowder: thanks! I'm excited to see the sharks

Dex: wow would've thought

Nursey: not me that's for sure

Nursey: I've finished my draft for the writing contest thing btw

Cait: whoooo

Cait: you should celebrate

Nursey: mm maybe I will

Dex: you called?

Chowder: haha wow

Chowder: and you say my jokes are corny

Nursey: oh well, maybe I WILL call you

Dex: oh yeah? and what would we talk about?

Nursey: oh, all sorts of things

Nursey: maybe poetry

Nursey: or sustainable energy sources

Dex: what makes you think I want to talk about those things

Nursey: I can be very persuasive

Chowder: no flirting in the groupchat they said

Cait: hypocrites

#nurseydexweek #nurseydex week #nurseydex #dexnursey #sarahsfic #again #technically I posted this on time on ao3 :p

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anitabyars · 7 years

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Kennedy Ryan shares a special post on the inspiration behind "Bruise," the original piece written for her latest release Grip. (Scroll to the end for the full poem & a signed paperback giveaway.) “Am I all of your fears, wrapped in black skin?” The cursor flashed a warning at the end of the line I’d just typed. Read on its own, the words seared the page, an incendiary challenge. A jagged line in the sand that could shove half my readers to one side, and half to the other. I needed to be careful. I wanted to be fearless. I had to be honest. The hero of Grip, my latest release, Marlon James (Grip to his fans), is a rising hip-hop star, but he’s more than that. He’s a lyricist and a poet. He’s a black man, concerned about black men vulnerable to cops who should be protecting them. He admires officers who run toward danger when most of us run away. He wonders what he can do to bridge the gap between the two. I took several risks writing Grip, confronting, in the context of a love story, prejudices that are often blatant, but sometimes remain hidden even from ourselves. No issue weighed heavier on my mind than that of black v. blue. In the story, Grip gets stopped DWB. Driving While Black, for those unfamiliar. Probably somewhere else in mainstream romance, readers have sat behind the wheel in a black hero’s perspective, glanced in the rearview mirror, seen those blue lights flashing, and wrestled with the fear, frustration and anger born from years of being stopped for no reason...but I haven’t read it. And as I wrote it, I remembered my own husband’s accounts of being stopped most of his life; of him and his friends lying on their stomachs on the ground while their cars were searched. I recalled the first-hand accounts I’d read of black and Hispanic men, even in the last few months in LA, Grip’s hometown, stopped and searched so much more than their counterparts. But I also thought of my friend’s husband, a good cop, a good man who faced down fear every day to protect people like me. Of her anxiety when tragedy strikes, when travesties happen. Incidents that I watch on television from the safety of my couch while her husband wades knee-deep into danger. I wanted to tell both sides of this story. I didn’t want to debate or persuade. I wanted readers to listen; to hear the other perspective. To consider. To understand. To empathize. These are the building blocks of resolution. Our country is more divided than we’ve been in a long time, and many of those divisions still, sadly still, fall along the lines of race. I don’t know how we resolve anything in this current climate. I don’t think we do unless we exchange perspectives; manage to communicate with one another in lower decibels, in reasonable thoughts, in something besides shouty caps on Facebook and Twitter. In Flow, the prequel to Grip, Bristol, the heroine says, “...before we say our words, they’re ammunition. After we’ve said them, they’re smoking bullets. There seems to be no middle ground and too little common ground for dialogue to be productive. We just tiptoe around things, afraid we’ll offend or look ignorant, be misunderstood. Honesty is a risk few are willing to take.” And yet it requires honesty, and giving each other grace to speak with candor and respect, even if sometimes ineloquently. It requires that we step into the other’s shoes. Usually, we are not all right or all wrong. We are more nuanced than that; the issues more complex than black and white. Or in this case, black and blue. This story models that, I hope. In my small corner of the world, with the only tools at my disposal, my pen and my voice, I hope I demonstrated that. I hope someone on one side of that jagged line in the sand understood the person across from them a little better after reading GRIP. This wasn’t about my personal outrage; my indignation as I watched black men gunned down this summer during traffic stops. It wasn’t about my horrified grief as I watched cops in Dallas ambushed, killed. It wasn’t just about either, and it was completely about both. One of my favorite communicators says sometimes we choose between making a point and making a difference. I really hope, in some small way, the words to “Bruise,” the original piece I co-wrote with a spoken word artist for this book, volley right past just making a point, and manage to make a small difference, even if the only difference is that one person chooses to listen and tries to understand. There are so many other things I could say; so many statistics I could cite to sway you to one side or the other. But instead, I’ll let “Bruise” speak for itself. And for those on both sides of that jagged line in the sand. For more on the role of race in Grip, check out Mara White's piece in The Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/58b96fd5e4b0fa65b844b200 Signed paperbacks of GRIP & FLOW, the prequel, are up for grabs on Kennedy's Facebook page! ENTER HERE: https://www.facebook.com/KennedyRyanAuthor/photos/a.502447269864442.1073741828.438681796240990/1186068878168941/?type=3&theater “BRUISE” Copyright (c) Kennedy Ryan, 2017 Am I all of your fears, wrapped in black skin, Driving something foreign, windows with black tint Handcuffed on the side of the road, second home for black men Like we don’t have a home that we trying to get back to when PoPo pulls me over with no infractions, Under the speed limit, seat belt even fastened, Turned on Rosecrans when two cruisers collapsed in Barking orders, yeah, this that Cali harassment Guns drawn, neighbors looking from front lawns and windows I know cops got it hard, don’t wanna make a wife a widow But they act like I ain’t paying taxes, like your boy ain’t a citizen They think I’m riding filthy, like I’m guilty pleading innocence. They say it's ‘Protect & Serve’, but check my word Sunny skies, ghetto birds overhead stress your nerves, They say if you ain’t doin’ wrong, you got nothin’ to fear, But the people sayin’ that, they can’t be livin’ here . . . We all BRUISE, It’s that black and blue A dream deferred, Nightmare come true In another man’s shoes, Walk a mile or two Might learn a couple things I’m no different than you! You call for the good guys when you meet the bad men, I’m wearing a blue shield and I still feel the reactions When I patrol the block, I can sense dissatisfaction There’s distrust, resentment in every interaction, Whether the beat cop, lieutenant, sergeant or the captain We roll our sleeves up and we dig our hands in I joined the force in order to make a difference, Swore to uphold the law, protect men, women and children, These life and death situations, we make split-second decisions All for low pay, budget cutbacks and restrictions We’re ambushed in Dallas, now where’s all the chatter Gunned down in Baton Rouge, don’t blue lives need to matter? Not just a job—it's a calling, a vocation, My wife’s up late pacin’, for my safety—she’s praying, And yet you call me racist? You wanna trap me with your phone? I’m just a man with a badge trying my best to make it home. We all BRUISE, It’s that black and blue A dream deferred, Nightmare come true In another man’s shoes, Walk a mile or two Might learn a couple things I’m no different than you! Buy GRIP Amazon US: http://amzn.to/2lKfZVt Amazon Universal: myBook.to/GetAGrip Free in KU! Join the Discussion Group once you’re done: http://bit.ly/2m8xEqf Check out the TEESPRING Campaign: https://teespring.com/GetGripped Listen to the playlist on iTunes: http://apple.co/2lWI9ur Listen to the playlist on Spotify: http://bit.ly/2lWrHdS "The story reads like a movie . . powerful and intoxicating ... and sinfully sexy. GRIP has everything—dynamic characters, soulful plot, and a lesson at the end that will change the way you look at life. One of my favorite reads this year. Maybe ever. 5 massive, gripping stars from me!" -- Adriana Lock, USA Today Bestselling Author About GRIP: Resisting an irresistible force wears you down and turns you out. I know. I’ve been doing it for years. I may not have a musical gift of my own, but I’ve got a nose for talent and an eye for the extraordinary. And Marlon James – Grip to his fans – is nothing short of extraordinary. Years ago, we strung together a few magical nights, but I keep those memories in a locked drawer and I’ve thrown away the key. All that’s left is friendship and work. He’s on the verge of unimaginable fame, all his dreams poised to come true. I manage his career, but I can’t seem to manage my heart. It’s wild, reckless, disobedient. And it remembers all the things I want to forget. Download Flow, the prequel to GRIP, TOTALLY FREE! Amazon: http://amzn.to/2lAhSSC Read on WATTPAD: http://w.tt/2kUo8Yk About FLOW: In 8 years, Marlon James will be one of the brightest rising stars in the music industry. Bristol Gray will be his tough, no-nonsense manager. But when they first meet, she’s a college student finding her way in the world, and he’s an artist determined to make his way in it. From completely different worlds, all the things that should separate them only draw them closer. It’s a beautiful beginning, but where will the story end? FLOW is the prequel chronicling the week of magical days and nights that will haunt Grip & Bristol for years to come. Add STILL (Grip #2) to your TBR: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34642932-still About the Author: Kennedy loves to write about herself in third person. She loves Diet Coke…though she’s always trying to quit. She adores her husband…who she’ll never quit. She loves her son, who is the most special boy on the planet. And she’s devoted to supporting and serving families living with Autism. And she writes love stories! Facebook: http://facebook.com/KennedyRyanAuthor Book Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/681604768593989/ Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kennedy-ryan Amazon: http://amzn.to/2jTjDuU Twitter: @Kennedyrwrites Instagram: @kennedyryan1 Goodreads: http://goodreads.com/author/show/7429243.Kennedy_Ryan Google +: http://plus.google.com/u/0/+KennedyRyanAuthor/posts Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/kennedyryan/

#kennedy ryan

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