#shit and now I'm crying all over again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spacedace · 1 month

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My dog, all near 200 pounds of him, crawled into a space he SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FIT and ended up hitting the power button on the surge protector I have my computer plugged into, shutting down my computer and causing 9k of words I had written over the course of the past few days to be deleted

Scrivener makes automatic backups thankfully, but the last one was from last night which means I still ended up losing the thousand or so words I'd written this morning 😭😭😭😭😭

(My dog is fine, he got the toy he apparently was after, and now is just confused as to why I'm making high pitched distressed noises)

#i'm actually about to cry #like i know it could have been worse but like #i was not emotionally prepared for this at all #i was so proud of myself for getting so much written over the past week and now i just want to throw myself into the nearest swamp #like i got most of it back but not ALL of it #i'm screaming (internally as my husband is still asleep in the next room)#i'm gonna barqcade that fucking space so this can't happen again holy shit

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mas-que-loucura-menina · 1 year

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Obsessed with when fanfictions go like:

Jason: "your son died!! I'm not that kid anymore! You can never have him back!! >:("

Bruce: "I mean, yeah? You had new experiences, made new friends, learned new things and went through a lot of difficult situations. You're human, people grow up, but there are still things about you that will never change, one of them is the fact that you're my son and I will love you regardless of what you choose to be."

#i miss those types of fanfic #there should be more of those #because once i read one i was like "holly shit i'm not the same person i was as a kid and neither is anyone #jason dying and coming back just makes it more metaphorical somehow and bruce not being there to see him growing up makes it sad #so now there's this new person who still have little things about his child self but definitely isn't the same kid anymore #but that's okay because bruce can just meet his son all over again and use those little things to slowly conect with him again #i just really love fanfics like this they tend to make me cry a lot #jason todd #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #batfamily #dc

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torgawl · 7 months

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okay but imagine loving someone so much you're willing to live the same crushing reality over and over again with no one to share the immense guilt you feel over lying and having to watch people die you could technically save solely because you cannot live in a world where that other person isn't by your side

#yes i'm crying again #i wonder if qiao ling now has xixi's powers and if she will ever read lu guang's memories #still not over the password on lg's phone....#he doesn't let it faulters he doesn't let himself forget what he's enduring all this shit for even if it's painful and [screaming]#doomed by the narrative gays always hit.... i'm so sad #link click

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running-in-the-dark · 19 days

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#currently crying because I'm alone with my husband's 94 year old grandma and I'm the only one who ever lets her talk about certain topics #so she just talked about her childhood and youth for one and a half hours #which means. the war #I'm not gonna go into it but it makes me cry every time even though I've already heard it all before #how can you not cry about a child who lost two of her teenaged brothers and had to watch the third one very nearly die too #the stories about how careful they had to be because the police constantly went to every house and checked everything #how they had to hide some of the milk from their cows so they could make butter because they couldn't afford to buy it #and how dangerous that was.#idk I'm so tired of people dying over senseless and unnecessary shit forever and ever and nothing ever changes and no one ever seems #to learn from it #or at least the ones in power don't #as long as there's disposable people (men) to send to war it doesn't matter. and now that's not even necessary anymore you can just kill #people from far away and. I'm just tired #and I'll shut up now and not talk about these things again as usual. it's not because I don't care it's because it (literally) drives me #insane to think about it and I know it's weak and pathetic but I have to choose to stay just barely sane enough to stay alive #can't stop crying. 🙃#anyway. shouldn't talk about it so. bye

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zevrans · 5 months

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#yeah man.. had a few hours of back and forth argument with my friend..idk really if i want to call her that now #but it was an eye opening mess.. it all started with her sending me dreadwolf trailer and i said it's all promises talk #and literally it went downhill from there she claimed that it's been announced like a year ago i said it's been in development for years #it then went to a fandom talk and how she thinks people in fandoms are pathetic and etc bullshit #how being a fan of something is not normal #and being invested in fiction and vgs and fandoms is something ppl with little responsibility do..#man i can't even write out all the stuff she said i genuinely felt so bad after this argument #i don't think i ever want to speak to her again #people having fun in her understanding is pathetic childish and a sign of a person not having enough responsibilities in life??#jfc i never realized just how truly toxic she is...#i mean deep down i did i just didn't want to admit to myself.. her general attitude to people being fans of something is just sickening #i'm determined to not write to her at all unless she reaches out which i doubt #she just shitted on everything despite me trying to expain how fiction can even literally save people #i tried expaining to her why some people are telling other ppl to not buy dreadwolf and pirate instead #i said about the fucked over emplyees of bioware and what she said was #it's a cruel world but idgaf it's business cry me a river - something along these lines #she literally has zero empathy i understand it now #the way she only selectively cares about wars going on in world #i said if people can boycott companies that support wars why cant they also support people who suffer from companies #she said and i qoute 'to compare war to people being fired wow that's something'#i was not comparing i just tried to find empathy in her to no avail #anyways.. i am so dissapointed in her and in myself that i didn't see this sooner #tbd

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random-rabid-creature · 7 months

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I'm leaving the internet for a WHILE, a drama that did not need to go this far is actually starting to make me paranoic

I'll see you someday, maybe i'll take a week, maybe i'll take a month, who knows, but hopefully i'll be back at some point, i'm just generally scared for my mental health and well being

Goodbye, asks will be turned off entirely in both my blogs

#H vents shit out. don't mind them #god help me. if any of you is seeing this. ya'll are so fucking mature for actually fucking name dropping. what is your problem #if it wasn't that i would actually cry if i tried saying all the shit i want to say to you all. i would #and boy i have some shit to say. assholes #i hope ya'll are fucking happy. i hope one day you'll look back a this and realize how fucking horrible you were #someday it'll get to you. and i hope you cringe to the point of incapasitation when you do #none of you matter to me. rn i do care bc i'm terrafied of my wellbeing. but when this is over #all of you will be nothing but a faint shit stain in my brain. and none of you will cross my mind positivly ever again #i hope you guys learn the gift of blocking and moving on from now on. instead of dragging everyone across the dirt like this

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thethingything · 21 days

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I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #posts made on pain meds #I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever #but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave #I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up #I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault #and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to #I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in #and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen #like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept #than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it #and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do #and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening #and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that #but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse #also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this #I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly #I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection #I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline #hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma #I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything #which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place

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dazais-guardian-angel · 30 days

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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠