flirting 101
in which wednesday fails at flirting, enid is extremely clueless, and bianca and yoko are saints for putting up with the dumbass gays for so long
fandom: wednesday (2022)
rating: mature (for language)
warnings: none
chapters: 1/1
categories: F/F, M/M
relationships: Wednesday Addams/Enid Sinclair, Bianca Barclay/Yoko Tanaka, minor Ajax Petropolus/Xavier Thorpe
additional tags: Flirting, Wednesday Addams is Bad at Feelings, Clueless Lesbians, Clueless Gays, Autistic Wednesday Addams, I'm Bad at Tagging
a/n: so, a couple of things. this is cross-posted on ao3, but if you want to read it on here, read below the cut. basically, this idea came to me, and i wrote it in one day. also, i know that most people in this fandom are divina/yoko truthers, but just consider: bianca/yoko. this is also the first fanfic, not that i've written, but that i've posted on tumblr, so please be nice but tell me if i'm tagging it wrong/labeling it wrong. that is all, enjoy the fic!
Bianca was sitting on her bed, scrolling social media, when she heard a curt knock on the door. She stood up apprehensively. She opened the door with a sigh. “Xavier, I already… Wednesday?” Wednesday Addams was standing outside her door, very frazzled-looking, trying desperately to pretend that she was not out of breath. This was not what Bianca expected.
“Can I… come in?” Wednesday said slightly breathily. She’d clearly run there, which Bianca found worrying -- anything that could make Wednesday Addams run was clearly serious. “Yeah, sure.” Bianca found herself desperately hoping that it was not a repeat of the Tyler incident, which was the last time Wednesday had come to her for assistance with something. She stepped aside, allowing Wednesday into the room, before closing the door behind her.
“What do you need?” Bianca went to stand in front of Wednesday, arms crossed. Wednesday’s breath caught for a minute, something that someone who hadn’t known her very well wouldn’t have even noticed, but Bianca had been spending an increasing amount of time with Wednesday this school year. Given that it was now spring, Bianca knew that the pause signaled nothing good. She was becoming increasingly concerned.
Wednesday looked down, her lips pursed just a little. “I need your… advice on something.” She shuffled her feet ever so slightly, and Bianca was suddenly struck with the realization that Wednesday felt awkward. She hadn’t even known that was an emotion Wednesday could experience -- Bianca had just assumed that she was equally collected in every circumstance, cool as a cucumber at all times. But no, the unshakable Wednesday Addams was feeling awkward. Whatever she came for, it ought to be interesting. (At least it probably wasn’t another kidnapping. Wednesday wouldn’t be this weird about something as mundane -- to her, at least -- as that.)
“Ok, what do you need help with?” Bianca raised an eyebrow. Wednesday shuffled her feet a bit more. “Ummm…” Wednesday, not being completely in control of her vocal facilities? This was an unprecedented development. Bianca’s curiosity was officially piqued, and even if Yoko burst in at that moment for a makeout fest, Bianca wasn’t sure she’d be able to tear herself away from the train wreck that was the girl in front of her.
“Come on, spit it out. Or you can go back to your room?” “No!” Wednesday bit out emphatically. Bianca stepped back a little. “No.” Wednesday said more calmly. “That is actually what I require you advice on. I need help learning how to… flirt.” This she said with disdain, nose wrinkled.
Oh. Okay. This was not at all what Bianca had expected. Her mind whirred, trying to figure out what was going on. First things first, more information. But what question to ask? Possible questions:
Why did Wednesday need to learn flirting? Given her general disdain of teenage romance, difficulty in dealing with emotions, and general lack of pop culture knowledge, it was reasonable to think that Wednesday didn’t know how to flirt and wouldn’t have been able to figure it out on her own. Wednesday also wouldn’t have had any role models, other than possibly her parents, but if they were anything like she was, they probably didn’t flirt much.
Who was she trying to flirt with? That was easy to answer. The only person Wednesday showed any modicum of interest in was Enid, which also explained why she had been so against going back to her room.
Why ask Bianca? As far as Bianca knew, despite being part of a larger friend group, Wednesday only had a few good friends, all of whom she could count on one hand. Wednesday spent most of her time with Enid, with Eugene a close second. Other than that, she was only really close with Xavier and Bianca. Wednesday couldn’t ask Enid for obvious reasons. Wednesday wasn’t so socially inept that she wouldn’t be able to tell that Eugene wasn’t any good at flirting. Which left Bianca and Xavier. There were a few reasons that she chose Bianca; maybe she trusted her more, maybe she thought another girl would be more helpful, maybe she thought Bianca would be better at flirting, maybe she didn’t want to make Xavier feel weird given he was still trying to get over her, despite clearly being interested in Ajax. It didn’t really matter beyond that.
Why now? That was the one question Bianca couldn’t extrapolate the answer to from previous evidence. She’d clearly liked Enid for quite a while, so why choose right now? Why not pick some earlier time -- any earlier time this year, really. She’d liked Enid at least since the start of this year, a full seven or eight months. Unless…
“You’re kidding me.” Bianca scoffed. “You’ve got to be joking. You only just figured out that you like her?” Wednesday furrowed her brow. “Have I… liked her for a long time?” Bianca heaved a very exasperated sigh. “Wednesday. How did you not -- you know what, whatever, you’re honestly the worst. You are the absolute worst. I figured you hadn’t done something because you were being clueless about her liking you, not because you were being clueless about you liking her!” Wednesday still looked confused. “Wednesday, you’ve had a crush on her for at least six months!”
Wednesday’s eyes widened, and she blinked exactly once. (Wednesday never blinked. Bianca would analyze that later, but right now she was too busy trying to explain the most obvious crush in Nevermore history to a dumbass lesbian.) “I… have?” Bianca sighed again, going up to massage her temples. This idiot was going to be the death of her.
“Wednesday, Enid is the only one who you let touch you and who can talk you into things. You threaten anyone who you believe poses her a threat. You comfort her when she’s feeling down, you’re unbelievably soft with her, and you look at her like she hung the stars in the sky. Yes, you like her. You’ve liked her since at least the beginning of this year, and I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to figure it out!”
Wednesday stared blankly at her, not moving, and Bianca sighed again. “Sorry, that was a little harsh. But seriously, everyone except you and Enid have known you liked her since like October. Why do you think Xavier stopped pursuing you?” “I had assumed he realized that I would not be a good romantic partner.” Wednesday said slowly. “But you claim that he stopped because he could tell I liked Enid?” “Yeah, I think Ajax intercepted him after he and Enid broke up.” Bianca sighed again. That relationship was another case of clueless gays. Why were all her friends idiots? At least it only took her and Yoko a couple months to get together after Yoko and Divina broke up.
“So what did you come in here for again?” With all the exasperation at Wednesday’s complete obliviousness, Bianca had completely forgotten Wednesday’s original purpose. Wednesday, still gaping a little, managed to pull herself together enough to choke out a sentence. “Flirting lessons?”
Bianca inhaled strongly through her nose, trying to overcome her lingering aggravation. “Right, flirting. I can do that. So, here’s what you do…”
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Ever since their fight last week, Wednesday had been acting weird. At first Enid thought she was still angry at her, but that had been dispelled when Wednesday was acting extra complimentary. But then, much to Enid’s surprise, Wednesday got a little too friendly.
It started with a completely innocuous compliment. “You’re looking especially eye-catching today, Enid.” Wednesday had said, the slightest tremor of hesitation in her voice. Enid’s heart had skipped a beat, and she had been too flustered to question the out-of-character statement.
But it only escalated from there. Suddenly, Wednesday was constantly complimenting her, small things like, “Your hair looks exceptionally styled,” and “That was a sufficiently intelligent suggestion.” She was agreeing with things Enid said, even things she’d never normally agree with, like trips to the mall or Enid’s opinions on KPOP. Wendesday was even taking every opportunity to touch Enid, leaning her head on Enid’s shoulder when they stood next to her, grabbing her hand between classes, tucking strands of stray hair behind Enid’s ears.
And it was torture. Enid’s general philosophy since she realized she liked Wednesday toward the middle of the winter had been to ignore it. Ignore the stomach flips and fluttery feeling she got when Wednesday touched her, the warmth that spread through her when Wednesday gave her a kind word, the intense urge to smile whenever Wednesday showed that she trusted her more than anyone else.
Which was easy, at first, because Wednesday didn’t do things like those a whole lot. She was very touch-averse, preferring to maintain her space bubble at all times. (The hug being the one exception -- but Enid didn’t think about it, couldn’t think about it, or else she’d lose control.) She almost never complimented Enid, preferring to threaten or insult at every opportunity, though Enid could swear her harsh words were getting more playful over time. She gave few examples of her immense trust in Enid, only occasionally showing the huge faith she placed in her.
So yes, normally Enid’s feelings were easy to push away, tramp down, roll under a rug. But despite her best efforts at distancing herself from her roommate and best friend, they were becoming harder to ignore as Wednesday ramped up her affectionate behavior, especially because it reminded Enid of what flirting from Wednesday might look like.
It was absolute torture. See, if anyone but Wednesday were doing something like this, Enid would assume that they were interested in her, and react accordingly. On the other hand, there was no way Wednesday was interested in her, but was probably trying to be a good friend after their argument. Which made this torture her fault.
“I’m going out to spend time with Xavier.” Wednesday’s voice cut through Enid’s homework-doing, startling her. She looked up, surprised and confused. “He wants us to study for the science test together.”
Enid furrowed her brows. She didn’t want Wednesday to hang out with Xavier. While it was obvious that he was interested in Ajax, it was also obvious that he wasn’t quite over Wednesday, and she was afraid that if they spent too much time alone together he might talk Wednesday into dating him. She knew it was an irrational fear, given Wednesday and Xavier’s track record, but she seemed to be warming up to him, and it didn’t seem so far-fetched.
Enid wracked her brain for a way to stop Wednesday from leaving, before remembering a conversation made earlier that day. “I thought you said you were going to help me with my math.” Wednesday paused midway through packing her backpack. “I did. I apologize. But I do not want to Xavier get a bad grade on the science test.”
Enid snarled. “Is he more important to you than me? What if I fail my math test?” Wednesday turned around. “You’re going to be fine. You already understand all the concepts.” Enid’s face hardened. “You told me you were going to help me study! You made a commitment!” Wednesday’s eyes flashed. “I’m going to study with Xavier.”
Enid wouldn’t back down. She stomped over to Wednesday, looking directly into her face. “You always do this! You drop me whenever anything you prefer to do comes up. You’re a terrible friend!”
Enid grabbed her bag, heaving huge breaths, and stomped out, throwing out a last retort behind her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, roomie! I’m staying with Yoko tonight!”
Honestly, Enid was surprised that the other girl hadn’t been more angry, but she supposed Wednesday had taken her own words, thrown out in a fit of irrational rage, to heart. Wednesday wasn’t a bad friend, but she did have a habit of disvaluing herself in terms of interpersonal relationships. So it was completely likely that Wednesday was trying to be a better friend out of some misguided sense of guilt and overcompensated by accident, leading to the current predicament.
Enid couldn’t handle this on her own for much longer. She needed backup.
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Wednesday was sitting on her bed, head in her hands, Thing sitting beside her. She sighed, a low, sad, sound, before lifting her head. “What am I supposed to do, Thing? It is incredibly clear that she is not interested in me.” Thing made a movement that Wednesday thought might have been attempting to convey an eye roll. “No, Thing, it is a foregone conclusion! She has completely rejected my every attempt at flirting. She is spending more time than ever with Ajax and Yoko, and pushing me away. She does not like me in that way. She is probably disgusted with me.” She scoffed. “She’ll probably ask to room with Yoko again soon. Who would want to be in a room with someone they know has feelings for them? And who would want me to have feelings for them, period?”
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Yoko and Bianca were making out on Yoko’s bed when there was a frantic knock on the door. Bianca sighed a long-suffering sigh, something Yoko had noticed she was doing a lot lately. “Not again. We’re busy!” She called in the direction of the door, only for the pounding to stop for a moment, and then resume again. Yoko pulled away a little. “Maybe it’s important. We should probably open it.” Bianca groaned and shuffled off of Yoko’s lap, sitting at the edge of the bed, as Yoko walked over to open the door carefully. In front of her was the harried face of her best friend, Enid, hair mussed, out of breath. She’d clearly run all the way here. From Bianca’s general direction, Yoko heard a whispered exhale of, “Deja vu, anyone?”
“What’s going on, Enid?” Yoko asked, pulling the vibrating girl into the room and closing the door behind her. “What’s the commotion?” Enid looked at her for a minute, panting, before blurting out a very fast “Wednesdayistryingtobeagoodfriendandflirtingwithmebyaccidentandits makingitveryhardformetoignoremycrushonher!” before falling over.
Yoko rolled her eyes. Every time something happened, Enid ran all the way from her room in Ophelia Hall to her own room in Circe Court on the other side of campus, and always passed out immediately afterward. “Come on,” she said to a startled Bianca. “Let’s get her into bed.” They carefully moved her onto the extra bed in Yoko’s room (she had managed to wrangle a single room by virtue of the fact that Circe Court was drafty and musty, and most people would rather have roomates than stay in the cold, wet building smelling of mildew, though as a siren she loved it) before resuming their makeout session for the few minutes it took Enid to wake back up.
As predicted, a scant five minutes later Enid sat up in bed abruptly before calling out, “Yoko?” “Got to go, babe, we can keep kissing once she’s gone,” Yoko told Bianca, who pouted for a minute before pulling out her phone for something to do while Yoko fixed her friend’s crisis. “Did I pass out again?” “Yeah. You’ve really got to stop coming here so fast. It’s not good for you.” Enid sighed, stretching out on the bed. “Yeah, I know.” Yoko sat down in front of her, leaning back on the carpet. “So what did you want to tell me?”
Enid moaned unintelligably, hitting the front of her head against the headboard of her bed with a sad air. “Wednesday is killing me.” Yoko blinked slowly. “Okay, what did she do this time?” “So she and I argued last week, you remember, right?” Yoko nodded. Enid had come rushing into her room at 8:00 at night, babbling about Wednesday and a not-date with Xavier. Yoko had eventually gotten the full story out of her after quite a bit of coaxing, and Enid had spent the night. Yoko was mildly surprised when no more drama ensued in relation to the argument, and had almost begun to hope that it might be forgotten. Alas, no luck.
“So since then, she’s been like, extra affectionate and touchy and stuff, which is really weird, because she’s Wednesday, so she doesn’t really do stuff like that. And I figured out that she’s trying to be a better friend because of our argument, but coming from anyone but Wednesday, it would seem like she’s flirting with me! Really badly flirting, but still flirting. And it’s making it really hard to ignore my crush on her. Because I know that she’s just trying to be a good friend, but it’s annoying.” Enid groaned again, her head sinking into the pillow facedown.
Bianca, without looking up from her phone, scoffed audibly. Yoko shot her a sharp look. “Bianca.” She hissed. “We talked about this. It was said to you in confidence. We should just let them figure it out on their own.” “Yoko.” Bianca hissed back. “I cannot take it any more. They have been doing this for literally months and it is actual torture. I’m gonna tell Enid.” Enid perked up. “Tell me what?”
Yoko sighed. There was no avoiding this, and no dissuading Bianca once her mind was made up. She might as well just hope it went well and if not try and deal with the aftermath. Bianca looked up, directly into Enid’s eyes. “Wednesday is flirting with you on purpose.” Enid laughed sarcastically. “Ha ha, Bianca, you’re hilarious, making fun of me.” She tried to look away, only to feel Bianca still staring at her and glance back. “I know because last week she came to me for advice on how to flirt.
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Enid stopped. Her brain felt like it was shortcircuiting. Wednesday was flirting with her… on purpose? Why would she do that? That didn’t make any sense. You flirted with people you liked. Wednesday knew this after observing the Nevermore students for long enough. She asked Bianca how to flirt, and then did it with Enid. But you flirted with people you liked. Which would mean that…
Wednesday liked her.
Wednesday LIKED her!!!!
It felt like there were fireworks exploding inside Enid’s head. She had never felt so excitingly, intensely, giddily, happy. She felt like she was filled with stars, her whole body alight with warm sparks and sharp electricity. Wednesday LIKED her. Wednesday liked HER. WEDNESDAY liked her!
Suddenly, every interaction they’d ever had was thrown into a new light. Wednesday’s compliments on her beauty became admiration instead of misguided reassurance. Wednesday’s trust in her became faith in her as a person, not in her abilities. Wednesday’s rare touches became affection freely given. And the hug, that amazing, wonderful, eye-opening hug, the moment Enid realized that she wanted Wednesday as something other than a friend, became a symbol of Wednesday’s love for her, not as a best friend, but as something else.
And then, suddenly crashing down to Earth, Enid realized how her actions in the last few days could be interpreted by Wednesday. Wednesday began showing interest, flirting with her, and Enid pulled away, spending less time with her. Wednesday would think Enid wasn’t interested. Wednesday would think Enid didn’t care.
And that would not work.
“I have to go,” she breathed out shakily. She had to make sure that Wednesday knew how much Enid liked her, loved her, even.
“Take this,” Yoko said, shoving a bottle into her hand. “Drink all of it, and you’ll have enough energy to not pass out.” Enid grabbed it as she passed, racing out of the door that Bianca opened for her and into the hallway, drinking as she ran.
Enid had to show Wednesday that she liked her back.
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“Finally.” Bianca breathed out. “Fingers crossed this works.” Then she and Yoko went back to kissing.
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Wednesday was packing her bags reluctantly, a sad song playing on her gramophone in the background. Thing was on the bed; he refused to help out of some misguided assumption that Enid wouldn’t want her to leave. So she was doing it by herself, neatly folding her clothes and blankets and packing them into her trunks.
After her conversation with Thing, Wednesday had realized that Enid, while perfectly willing to leave when Wednesday was mean to her, probably would be too nice to leave because Wednesday liked her, and stay in their shared room uncomfortably until the end of the year. Normally, Wednesday would simply make Enid mad at her, but she couldn’t find the strength within her to leave Enid on bad terms, and so had decided that she would leave the room instead. Perhaps there was some drafty single room in one of the distant corners of Ophelia Hall where she would be sent by herself.
So engrossed she was in collecting her things and placing them in their appropriate bags, parcels, cases, coffins, and suitcases, that she didn’t hear the door open.
“Wednesday!” There was a small gasp, and Wednesday turned around. She would recognize that voice anywhere, even diluted by confusion. “Enid? What are you doing here? I thought you were with Yoko.”
Enid stepped closer, her hand at her mouth, looking around the room at all of Wednesday’s packed bags. Wednesday, to her surprise, could see tears starting to collect in the corners of big blue eyes, and she had the sudden urge to swipe them away.
“What are you doing? Why are all your bags packed?” Wednesday turned away. This was too painful to say to Enid’s face, and she would prefer for Enid not to see her breaking. “I am leaving, to find a new room.”
Enid grabbed her wrist. Wednesday tried to muster the energy to pull her hand away, but couldn’t do it. She couldn’t make herself pull away from the last contact Enid was likely to grant her.
“Why, Wednesday? Why are you leaving?”
She looked down, dark braids falling around her head. “Because I like you, and this makes you uncomfortable, so I am leaving so you do not need to be around me.” Wednesday closed her eyes, preparing for the sting of rejection when Enid agreed with her statement, only to hear a watery laugh.
What? Why was Enid laughing? Wednesday was incredibly confused. Did she find Wednesday’s sorrow humorous? Wednesday made to pull her wrist away when she felt a feather-soft touch on her chin, and Enid lifted her face to look at her own.
“Wednesday. You’re not making me uncomfortable.” Wednesday tilted her head. She… wasn’t? But then why was Enid laughing? What was happening? Enid opened her mouth to speak again, and Wednesday couldn’t help but notice how soft her lips looked.
“I like you too.” Wednesday… paused. This didn’t make sense. People like Enid didn’t like people like her. Enid was warm and soft and beautiful, and she was dark and gloomy and terrifying. Enid must be playing some sort of joke on her. She made to pull away again, but was distracted when Enid spoke.
“Of course you don’t believe me.” Enid was so beautiful when she cried. She was beautiful all of the time, of course, but especially when she was sad. It made Wednesday want to carry her somewhere safe and keep her from anything that could harm her.
A moment later, Enid’s eyes lit up from within, a mannerism that indicated she had had an idea. Wednesday was too captivated by the spark within the sea of blue to attempt to escape again. Besides, she was at Enid’s mercy. She couldn’t run even if she tried.
“Can I kiss you?” Enid’s words were soft, almost hummed instead of stated. Wednesday was almost too busy admiring them to notice what was said. Her eyes widened, and she could do nothing but nod disbelievingly. She saw, in front of her, Enid’s lips being lowered toward her, and closed her eyes.
Enid was soft, and warm, and tasted like strawberry lip gloss. Her kiss made Wednesday feel warm, alight with fire and electricity. Every piece of her was sparkling, shining, brightly glowing from the feeling. Kissing Enid felt like floating and falling at the same time. Wednesday thought she might explode from it.
Carefully, gently, Enid pulled away, her lips detaching from Wednesday’s. Her face was flushed with pink, and she wasn’t crying anymore. In the very back of her mind, the only part that wasn’t flushed with bliss, Wednesday noted that when Enid was crying, she, the personification of darkness, had been able to make her smile.
For the most part, Wednesday’s mind was silent, filled only with calm happiness and thoughts of Enid, Enid, Enid. Vaguely she registered Enid’s saying, “That was nice.” in a breathy voice. She pulled out of the pool of joy her consciousness had descended into long enough to hum a response, watching the smile bloom across Enid’s face at the fact that she, Wednesday, liked the kiss, and smiled in response. “Wanna do it again?” This, Wednesday didn’t even bother with a response for. She just reached up to kiss Enid again.
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The next day, as Enid and Wednesday walked into the courtyard, Bianca and Yoko could vaguely hear Wednesday saying goodbye to Enid before going to work on the bees with Eugene. Enid muttered something unintelligible softly, and Wednesday leaned up and softly placed a kiss on Enid’s lips before leaving, smiling faintly. As Enid over, a skip in her step, Bianca and Yoko both sighed in relief. “Finally.” Yoko muttered. Bianca glanced over, smirking. “Took em long enough.” They clinked their glasses, content to sit and watch Enid happily bouncing over to their table.
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