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vbecker10 · 2 years

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Hi! Could I make a Loki request? Reader is a shy little office worker at stark tower, quiet and keeps to herself mostly. She hears the other ladies brag about dating shield agents and catches them all giving her the side eye and making teasing comments because they think she’s single and will always be lonely cause of her shyness. Until she starts receiving flowers and small gifts at her desk at random times. Someone says she sent them to herself trying to put on a show or something for attention. Until one day Loki walks into the office carrying take out and a sunflower (readers favorite). Pulls her up from her chair, kisses her deeply saying ‘happy anniversary’ and takes her out of there for the rest of the day. Now the other office ladies are a little jealous but keep their mouths shut from now on.

Thank you for this one! I absolutely love this idea! I changed a few things slightly, I hope that's ok and I kinda ran with the sunflower thing lol 💚💚💚

Sunflower

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Warnings: people being jerks, mild smut, touch of angst, self doubt a bit, fluff

Summary: You prefer to keep your private life private, being a naturally quiet person, but the growing rumors and rude comments at work have started to make you question if you should just finally tell everyone the truth about you and the God they are all obsessed with...

Word Count: 3.5k words

(Monday morning)

You keep your head down as you get off the elevator and make your way through the office towards your desk. The large, open room is full of chatter, everyone standing around their desks talking about their weekends.

“Um, excuse me,” you stop, your path blocked by the three women who sit closest to you. You can feel them all looking at you but you keep your eyes down, trying to avoid the inevitable conversation that happens every single Monday.

“Oh, good morning Y/N. You're so quiet, we didn’t even see you,” Megan scoffs but none of them move. “So, did you finally do something this weekend that was worth talking about?”

"I'm sure it wasn't as exciting as yours," you answer, trying to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible.

"You're probably right, but tell us anyway," she insists.

"I went to a bookstore, had lunch in the park and the Met had a new exhibit on-" you begin to describe your weekend but are cut off.

“Wow, sounds super fun” Pam interrupts, rolling her eyes while the other two giggle.

You bite your lip and look down again while you tried to think of an excuse to get out of this conversation. All you wanted to do was get to your desk and get on with your work. Why couldn't people just understand that you preferred to be quiet, you disliked talking about your private life especially with people who weren't your friends. There was no reason they needed to know you weren't alone, they never would have believed you anyway so why would you bother, you thought to yourself. They weren’t interested in your life, they only asked so they could tell you how much better they thought their life was.

"Pete and I stayed in the cutest little bed and breakfast in Pennsylvania. It was so romantic," Megan brags. "We're thinking of going to a vineyard next weekend," she adds.

"Oh wow, you'll have to let me know where. Hector and I want to go away for a few days when he gets back from his next mission. He's going to be lead agent so he'll need to relax I'm sure," Pam says but you're barely listening anymore.

"Speaking of relaxing, Mitch and I are going to spend a few weeks in August in Cape Cod. We rented a beach house, you should bring the guys for a weekend, it'll be fun," Lacy tells Megan and Pam. "Oh, I mean I guess you could come too but it's better when your a couple. Being alone would probably be really depressing for you," she adds when she looks over at you.

You shrug but don't respond, you were used to them referring to you as single even though you hadn't been for a long time. When you were first hired at SHIELD, the three of them kept making comments about how sad it was that you were alone and didn't have anyone. They began giving you unsolicited advice, telling you that you were too quiet and withdrawn. They told you that you needed to be more outgoing because no one would ever notice you, especially not a SHIELD agent like their boyfriends. It turned out they were right about the SHIELD agents not being interested in you but didn't care... two months after you were hired, you ran into a God on your day off and you had been his ever since.

“Can I just get to my desk, I have a meeting with Loki and Thor soon about the-,” you start to explain, trying to change the subject which unfortunately works too well.

"Mmm, now that's something fun I'd like to do," she says with a laugh, fanning herself dramatically while the others agree. The conversation quickly shifts to all the things they would let the tall, raven haired God do to them, forgetting completely about their own boyfriends. You stand there quietly as they comment on his long, slender fingers and joke about his nickname, Silvertongue.

"You know, I heard he's dating someone," Pam sighs as she finally makes her way towards her desk.

"What? No I thought that was just a rumor," Lacy sounds almost disappointed and you almost laugh to yourself.

Pam shakes her head, "I think it might be true... I was behind him on line this morning to get coffee and he ordered two different types."

"You're basing this whole thing on a second cup of coffee?" Megan laughs.

"No... I've heard other things too," Pam says but you just sit at your desk quietly while you play with the to-go lid on your coffee cup. They continue to speculate on the mystery of the extra coffee but your mind wanders to the memory of when Loki gave it to you.

(An hour earlier)

You turn the corner and walk past the conference rooms, heading for the smallest one at the far end of the hall, like you have almost every morning for the last six months. You walk past a few agents and analysts, saying good morning as they hurry to their meetings. When you reach the door you are looking for, you knock once and it opens quickly to let you inside.

As soon as the door closes, Loki pushes your back against it with a smirk, his hands instantly settle on your waist. "Good morning sunflower," he says looking down at you.

Loki has more than a few pet names for you but sunflower is by far his favorite and it never fails to make you smile. He began calling you that only a month into your relationship, when he took you to a botanical garden. The two of you spent hours walking through the gardens, looking at all the beautiful trees and flowers, he never let go of your hand once. As you were leaving, Loki offered to buy you flowers and asked which you would like. He couldn't help but laugh when you hung your head in disappointment, telling him sunflowers were your favorite but they didn't have any. He kissed your cheek lightly then waved his hand dramatically, conjuring a small bouquet of sunflowers for you. As he left your apartment that night, he kissed you lovingly and whispered, 'Goodnight sunflower.'

You reach up, putting your arms around his neck, "Good morning Loki."

Standing on your tiptoes, you kiss his lips quickly before putting your feet flat on the floor again. You knew that wasn't nearly enough to appease your favorite God but you were willing to risk it.

Loki raises his eyebrow as he presses his body against yours and says, "Well that certainly won't do."

You stifle a giggle and try to act innocent, "Should I try again?"

He simply nods and you raise yourself on your tiptoes again, he leans down to help close the distance been your lips and his. You ghost your lips over his lower lip, just barely touching him. Loki moves forward to capture your lips fully but you pull back causing him to growl in annoyance.

You bite your lip as Loki shakes his head, his eyes fixed on yours as he towers over you. "Its too early in the morning for these games of yours love," he says, the tone of his voice letting you know he's in control, not you. He brings his lips to yours, kissing you hard as one of his hands slides up to your neck and his other hand grips your hip tighter. You kiss Loki back, opening your mouth to allow his tongue to find yours, instantly abandoning the idea of teasing him further.

"I still think one of your more useful spells is keeping coffee warm," you say, making Loki laugh as he hands you your coffee when its finally time for you both to go to work.

"I love you, Y/N. I will see you tonight," he says as he picks up his coffee and opens the door for you.

"I love you too," you respond before you walk into the hallway and go your separate ways without anyone noticing.

(Monday night)

You sit on the edge of the couch wearing a pair of shorts and one of Loki's t-shirts, holding a throw pillow against your chest as you absent mindedly change the channel again and again. You aren't looking for anything in particular, just noise to drown out the thoughts that have been eating at you most of the day.

"Hi sunflower," Loki says cheerfully as he closes the door to your apartment.

"Hi Loki," you respond, turning off the TV.

He kicks off his shoes and walks over to you, his smile fading quickly. "Darling... what's wrong?" he asks, sitting next to you on the couch.

You shake your head and hold the pillow tighter, trying not to look at him. He rests his hand on your knee and squeezes it lightly. "Y/N, talk to me, please," he urges and you nod as you sit up a bit.

"Are you..." your voice wavers and you try again, "Are you embarrassed to be with me?"

He touches your chin and gently makes you look at him. He looks concerned as he leans closer to you, "Of course not Y/N. What would make you worry about something so ridiculous?"

"Well... I-" you stammer. "There are rumors going around the Tower that you're dating someone," you start to explain.

"I am," he says matter of factly.

"I know but... you know Pam, Lacy and Megan?" you ask and he nods.

"You've told me about them before but I've only met with Pam once a few weeks ago," he answers.

"They are obsessed with you lately," you tell him. "And it was worse today, they spent all day trying to figure out why no one had ever seen or heard anything about your her. Megan told them she figured you must be ashamed of her for some reason, because why else wouldn't you take her to Tony’s parties. Lacy and Pam joined in of course and they kept coming with more and more reasons why you would hide who you were with... I don't know it was just hard to listen to that for hours I guess."

"Y/N, I would never hide you," he says softly, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "Do you know what I did right after our first date?" he asks you and you shake your head no. "I went straight to Thor’s room and told him I had met the most amazing woman in the nine realms," Loki says.

"I didn't know that," you smile, you knew Thor was aware you were together but you had no idea Loki had told him from the beginning.

He chuckles, "He made fun of me a bit for it actually but I didn't care. I know it may seem like I am keeping you a secret, but the moment I met you, I told the only person who has ever had a vague interest in my life about you." You laugh a little, picturing Loki gossiping to Thor but it makes you feel so loved to know he couldn't wait to tell his brother he had met you.

"And you know, I don't take you to Stark’s parties because I don't even want to go. My favorite part of those nights has always been when I can slip out unnoticed and come here," he says and you nod knowing what he's telling you is true, not what your coworkers guessed.

"I'm sorry I let them all get to me today," your smile fades a bit and you feel guilty for doubting him.

"I hate that they made you feel like this," he says, kissing your forehead when you lean on him. He puts his arm around you and asks, "Do you still want to keep this separate from work or do you want to tell them? I will do whatever makes you feel more comfortable, sunflower." You start to nod but then shake your head and then shrug as you pull the pillow up to your face.

"I don't have any idea what that means," he chuckles as he takes the pillow away from you. "Would you like to try again?"

"I want people to know about us," you tell him and he smiles. "Maybe then they will stop thirsting over you," you mumble and he looks at you questioningly.

"I.... well, ok I told them I had a meeting with you and Thor this morning and the whole conversation suddenly turned. They were all talking about how hot you are and the kinds of things they would let you do to them. Pam even joked it was such a long list, they should write it down and I just..." you trail off for a moment. "I got jealous? Does that make sense, I'm not sure how to explain it," you say more as a question than a statement.

Loki laughs lightly and you pick up the pillow from his lap, hitting him in the chest with it. "Its not funny," you pout and cross your arms.

"It is a little," he says, taking the pillow back and throwing it on the floor this time. He puts his hands on your waist and lifts you so you are sitting on his lap facing him. He keeps one hand around your waist and your hands settle on his back, gripping the fabric of his shirt lightly. Loki plays with the ends of your hair and looks into your eyes, slowly moving his face closer to yours.

"Y/N, they can talk all they want about me but I'm yours and no one else's. I love you," he says and you move forward, pressing your lips to his.

"I love you, Loki," you tell him, resting your head on his shoulder as he rubs your back lightly.

You sit in silence for a moment then Loki says, "I like the idea of them all knowing you're mine."

(Tuesday through Thursday)

Tuesday morning, you settle into your desk and notice a small emerald green box on top of your papers. Loki was always bringing you little gifts or flowers when you were on dates or at your apartment but you had never gotten a gift while at work before. You open the box and smile to yourself as you hold the 3 inch tall crystal sunflower carefully in your hand. Its beautiful, you can't wait to tell him how much you love it when you see him later tonight.

After a late afternoon meeting on Wednesday, you find a second green box on your desk and it is slightly larger. You pick up the box and as you start to open it, you notice Pam watching you over her shoulder. You ignore her staring, too excited to see what else Loki sent you. You giggle when you realize it is another sunflower gift, this time is a white picture frame and behind the glass is a handcrafted sunflower flower. You lean the frame against the wall of your cubicle and move the crystal flower next to it, suddenly aware that all three of your coworkers are watching you.

The next morning there is yet another green box waiting for you, it's larger still and sitting on your chair. You pull out your chair and sit down, placing the box on your desk as you feel Megan, Pam and Lacy coming up from behind you.

"Another gift?" Megan asks and you nod.

"I can't believe it, looks like you have a secret admirer, Y/N," Lacy says sarcastically.

"Seems like it," you smile at the adorably fuzzy teddy bear that was in the box. You sit him up on your desk and adjust the tall, fake sunflower he is holding. When Loki picks a theme he really sticks with it, you think to yourself.

"What's with all the sunflowers?" Pam asks.

You don't let her judgemental tone bother you, instead you answer her with a smile, "He must know they're my favorite."

You can hear the three of them whispering at various times throughout the day and you are only able to catch small pieces. From what you were able to hear, it seems they had decided the gifts couldn't possibly be from a mystery man.

"She has to be sending them to herself," Pam whispers and the others agree.

"Of course she is, who would be interested in her?" Megan responds. "I mean really, three gifts in two days is a little much."

"I think it's sad," Lacy adds.

When you return from having lunch with Loki you find yet another gift. You look at the long, thin box and wonder briefly how he keeps putting all of these presents on your desk without being seen but shake your head when you remember he's a trickster God who can do magic. Before you can open the present, your computer chimes to remind you of an upcoming meeting. You place the box in your top drawer and leave the office, walking past Megan, Lacy and Pam.

You walk back into the office and hour later and see the three of them standing around your desk and whispering to each other. "Can I help you with something?" you ask when you get closer. They all move back from your desk and you see another, very small green box resting on your keyboard.

"We were just curious to see what the mystery man sent you this time," Megan says as she leans on the wall of your cubicle.

"Oh, he sent me two things actually," you inform her as you take the slim box out of the drawer. Her smug smile fades a bit, it's easy to tell by the shape of the boxes that they both most likely contain jewelry. You open the thin box first and pick up the long gold chain, laying down the sunflower charm in your palm. You pick up the second box and make a point to hold it so the can see the small sunflower ring inside.

You look up briefly and see Megan rolling her eyes. The fact that they still think you are sending yourself these presents means tomorrow will be even more shocking for them and you can't wait.

(Friday afternoon)

"No presents today?" Megan remarks around noon.

"Oh, I should be getting one more. He's bringing it here himself though," you answer her.

"What do you mean?" Lacy asks.

"Don't worry, he'll be here soon," you tell them, checking the time.

"Oh my god..." Pam turns towards the door, her mouth hanging open.

"What?" Megan and Lacy both ask. You turn to look too, you can't wait to see him. Loki and you had taken a half day, you were both excited to start your weekend early.

Loki stands by the door, looking around the office until he finally spots you and a smile spreads across his lips. He's wearing black pants and a tightly fitted black dress shirt, the first few buttons of the collar are open and his sleeves are rolled to his elbows. In one hand he has a bouquet of sunflowers and a large paper bag in his other hand. He makes his way towards you, seemingly unaware of the whispers spreading from one coworker to the other as they try to figure out why the God of Mischief is so focused on you.

You stand up just as Loki reaches your desk and you can feel Pam, Lacy and Megan staring at you but you don't care. Loki places the flowers and the paper bag on your desk without taking his eyes off of you. He puts one hand on your back and pulls your body to his, you giggle and look up at him as his other hand caresses your check softly.

"Happy anniversary, sunflower," he says with a warm smile. He leans down and gently brings your lips to his as he kisses you deeply. You close your eyes as you kiss him back, your hands wrap around his waist, lightly gripping the smooth fabric of his shirt. When you break the kiss to breathe, he rests his forehead against yours and runs his thumb over your lower lip lightly. "Gods, I can't believe it's been a year already. How did I ever get so lucky?" Loki asks and you hear an audible gasp from Lacy and Pam drops her pen.

You laugh, "I think we both got lucky."

He doesn't let go of you, looking at the paper bag then back at you, "I picked up your favorite. How do you feel about eating in the park, that spot by the pond?"

You smile wide and reach up to kiss him again, "I think that sounds amazing."

The two of you walk towards the door, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist while you hold your flowers. You can feel everyone in the office watching you leave and you laugh a bit to yourself. You look up at Loki as you reach the door and he winks at you.

"Think they are shocked now, just wait until they find out I plan on asking you to move in with me," he says just loud enough for them to hear him.

@michelleleewise @ace-of-gay @high-functioning-lokipath @poetic-fiasco @soubi001 @lokisninerealms @lovingchoices14 @justasecretwriter @theaudacitytowrite @klaushargreeves420 @coffeeorsomething-irl @lolawashere @xorpsbane @avoliax

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esmerxyaugusta · 3 months

Text

[ maria coming back from a mission ]

nat: are you okay? are you hurt?

maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep

nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*

maria: blood loss

nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED

maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss

#source: unknown #marvel #incorrect quotes #marvel cinematic universe #marvel incorrect quotes #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #maria hill #black widow incorrect quote #blackhill #commander hill #agents of shield #gay #tw blood

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soft-mafia · 1 month

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I need a scientific explanation as to how Jeff Ward’s eyes are so captivating bc omg

#one piece #one piece buggy #buggy one piece #buggy the clown #buggy x reader #Jeff Ward #agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#buggy simp #opla buggy #buggy opla #opla

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tvseries-writings · 5 days

Text

From a great power comes great responsibilities

Wandanat x Bioquake x Bobbi x reader

Plot: Reader goes beyond her limits with her powers to help others (exhausts her powers)

TW: death for a moment(?)

It all happens so fast that you don't realize it until the building starts collapsing over your heads. You see a chunk of concrete the size of a car fall on top of you, and before your brain can connect, your body acts on instinct, carrying you, Daisy, and Bobbi out of the building. You concentrate on teleporting all three of you, intact, inside the quinjet where Jemma, Natasha and Wanda are running the operation, or at least, were before everything went to hell.

You land on the floor of the plane with a thud, falling forward and coughing hard to expel the dust that has filled your lungs. You glance at your girls making sure they are okay and then, you cross your arms to teleport again but Natasha's hand on your left arm stops you.

"Don’t even think about it, everything is collapsing, you can't teleport in there. It is suicide and you are not going to save anyone if you are dead, do you understand me?"

You swallow, watching the building collapse, and so, with a small smile on your lips, you lean toward Natasha and kiss her. It lasts a few seconds and she is distracted enough to let go of her grip on you.

"I'm sorry but I have to do this," you whisper and then, you close your eyes and feel the earth vanish from under your feet. You focus on the 'one safe place inside the building that you know with absolute certainty will not collapse. The beauty of a secret Hydra base was the bunkers, after all. Those crazy fucking Nazis had thought that sacrificing at least a hundred of their own people was a fair price to pay to take out three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and they had blown up the load-bearing walls of the building with a simple and very trivial click. Nazis, they never change.

When you open your eyes again and realize you are not dead or under some boulder, you gloat internally and mentally thank Natasha for forcing you to learn the floor plan of that base. You remember perfectly her stern look when she had presented you with the mission and forced you to learn every single detail by heart. At that moment you had hated it but now...now you really wanted to kiss her.

You raise your hands in the air when you notice a score of soldiers pointing their guns at you, hiding behind them their "incentives," as Hydra liked to call them. Wives, husbands, children, mothers and fathers hid behind those men and women in black with a crest that did not belong to them.

"It's okay, I just want to get you out of here. I can teleport you all but in multiple groups."

You curse yourself internally, you know you'll never be able to take this much effort, the last time you tried to teleport five people together you fainted and were unconscious for six hours you can't even imagine what would happen with forty, including soldiers and families.

You take a deep breath and think quickly about how you can take everyone out of there. The floor under your feet trembles and just as the children begin to cry, the earpiece in your ear comes alive.

"Y/n, damn it, Daisy can't hold it much longer...you have to get out of there, do you hear me? The structure won't hold much longer" Bobbi yells in your ear and you nod, well aware that she cannot see you, before giving her a verbal response.

"I'm trying honey, thanks for the advice though."

You mumble sarcastically, no longer listening to what your girlfriends are shouting at you over the comms and focusing instead on getting the people in front of you to safety. The soldiers lower their weapons and pull off the bands on your arm, throwing them to the ground.

"Are there others in the base?"

"They're all dead, ma'am" the lieutenant, or who you think is the lieutenant, answers you by looking around as if to confirm what she just said. Your stomach clenches at the thought of all those people who died for a cause they didn't even believe in but you quickly shake off that feeling, you don't have time for it. You quickly count them, noting that there are twenty-five of them before thinking about how to get them all out of there safely.

"So… I can take all the children outside."

You point to the little ones; some of them are crying while others are looking at you with wide, fearful eyes but charged with the same admiration and hope with which a child looks at his favorite superhero. There are nine children but you can make it, they are worth four times one adult, right? You can even take four adults with you, then; you have to do it, you won't have the strength to make three more trips, you are sure.

You gather them around you and have each of them touch arms or legs, depending on where their little hands reach, and do the same with the four women, two old and two young, who accompany them. As they say, women and children first.

"Y/n, we have set up a camp out here, four hundred meters from the base in a southwesterly direction."

-What the hell is the South?" you think, before shrugging your shoulders and closing your eyes. The feeling of the floor vanishing beneath your feet is not something you will ever get used to, if you have to be honest. You hear the children scream, whether from excitement or fear you can't tell, and then, in less than a second, you find yourself at that poorly set up base camp Jemma told you about a few seconds ago. A little dizziness forces you to lean on the ground, on the hot sand beneath you, and small drops of blood color the grains beneath your fingers. You raise your hand, reaching up your nose and finding the source of the bleeding. Children are being rounded up by an officer but you fail to recognize him as your girlfriends run toward you. Jemma has a first aid kit in her hand, but before she can set about playing cheerful surgeon with you, you scan to the side, staggering on your own feet.

"I'm fine, I've got to get back in there."

"You can't stand y/n, you can't-"

You frown, noticing only in that moment that Daisy is not there with all of you.

"Where's Dee?"

"She fainted, tried to absorb as many shocks as possible. She's collapsed y/n and that's also what's going to happen to you if you continue, you're already in a very bad way."

Jemma lifts your head, causing your gazes to cross and looking critically at your pupils and the nosebleed that doesn't seem to have any intention of stopping coming out. You back away a few steps, looking into their eyes.

"Go to Daisy, I'll take care of this," you say and then disappear again.

You repeat the same process as before, surrounding yourself with six soldiers and watching the remaining six.

"I will come back for you, I promise."

And as you disappear into thin air, another tremor shakes the ground.

The landing is more abrupt this time. Your heart beats so weakly that you feel as if oxygen is not getting to your brain. Contrary to what you expected, Natasha grabs you by the arms before your face can splat on the scorching sand. You struggle to stay awake and if so out that you don't even notice Daisy, pale, sweaty, and trembling, over the shoulders of the former Russian spy. You blink a few times to focus on the image in front of you and finally the sounds reach your ears again.

"Y/N!"

Natasha shakes you by the shoulders and you awaken from your stupor. The worried gazes of Wanda, Jemma, Daisy, Natasha and Bobbi are fixed on you as Natasha gently lays you on the ground and Jemma places a bottle of water on your lips, helping you drink it. As soon as you remember where you are, you try to sit up but Daisy stops you, simply putting a hand on your chest to keep you down.

"I'm-I'm fine, mm-missing six people-D-I have to an-go."

You stammer, the effort you've put in doesn't even make you able to utter a coherent and clea sentence. Another jolt shakes the floor beneath your feet and Daisy groans in pain, bringing her hands to her head and squeezing her eyes shut. That small advantage allows you to roll over and with an absurd effort you manage to get to your feet and disappear back under their gazes.

When you get to the bunker, the first thing you do is fall to your knees and throw up. You completely empty your stomach under the disgusted gaze of the six soldiers in front of you. You wipe your mouth with your suit, wrinkling your nose at the disgusting taste of vomit in your mouth and leaning against the wall to pull yourself up without passing out. You must hold on a little longer, just a little, and then you can collapse to the ground.

The six soldiers surround you-diligently avoiding the pool of vomit on the ground and the blood that keeps coming out of your nose-and in a moment you are out.

As soon as you hit the sand, you sprawl to the ground. Your cheek scrapes against the sand and this time Natasha is not quick enough to catch you. Jemma drops to her knees next to you, turns you so that your face is facing her but your eyes are closed. She checks your chest and when she notices that the latter does not rise or fall, she checks your pulse before a gasp of terror and fear escapes her lips.

"Bobbi, adrenaline and defibrillator. Now!"

Natasha tilts your head back, her eyes glazed over as she opens your mouth and blows air into your lungs. Jemma begins compressions.

1,2,3,4,5

Nat puts air into your lungs and your chest rises and falls once before falling back inert. Wanda's sobs and Jemma's barely stifled ones are the only sound before a crack makes your girls nauseous.

"It's okay, it happens during compressions," Jemma's voice trembles as she says it and then, she performs another round of compressions. Your arms burn but that pain is nothing compared to the dull ache that is burning in your chest at that moment.

1,2,3,4,5

Natasha forces your chest up again and then Bobbi arrives with defibrillator and adrenaline in hand. She is sweating and her heart is racing. She has never run so fast in her entire life.

"Bobbi, take my place."

Jemma continues with compressions, then, on her go, Bobbi gets in place and follows her own rhythm.

"Come on rockstar, it's not your time yet, come on."

Bobbi's breath barely hides the tremor in her voice but not the tears that line her cheeks. It takes two defibrillator shocks before your heart starts beating again.

"Oh my God" Wanda bursts into tears, leaning over your face and gently kissing your forehead, brushing a few strands of sweaty hair off your face.

"Good, you did great love" Natasha whispers, taking your hand in her own as Bobbi laughs from relief.

Daisy instead stands by, frowning, and Jemma is the first to notice.

"Dee, what's wrong?"

Daisy looks at you and then, nods.

"Something's wrong, her heart, it doesn't have the usual vibes, non-"

And then, your heart stops beating again.

"Fuck, Bobbi give me the adrenaline."

Jemma Simmons never swears but there are always exceptions.

Jemma performs two more rounds of compressions before injecting adrenaline into your chest. She hooks you up to one of the monitors that Fitz had devised a few months earlier, at the request of the biochemist, for just such situations, and when he sees that the line remains flat, his heart, too, seems to stop for a few seconds.

Your body is shaken by the shock emitted by the defibrillator; it arches upward and then falls back to the sand as hard as a puppet whose strings have been suddenly dropped. The line remains flat and Jemma's tears now gush without limit.

"No no, Jem you have to try again. She can't, she can't..."

Wanda bursts into tears, looking at your lifeless body lying on the ground. Natasha punches the ground with such force that the crack that can be heard echoing cannot mean anything good. Bobbi cries as she takes the former Russian spy's hand and gives her a look. Anything not to think about what just happened.

"No, it doesn't end like that."

"Daisy...she-"

Daisy takes your lifeless body in her hands, shaking it by the shoulders.

"Do you understand me? You can't fucking die, you can't. You promised us, you stubborn idiot, you promised us!"

The Inhuman hits your chest hard, her fist closed, and without her really being able to control what she's doing, a powerful jolt goes through your chest and crashes against the ground, creating a small crack beneath you, and then, the flat line of the monitor disappears, replaced by regular little roller coasters.

"W-what?" Daisy whispers, sitting on the floor suddenly much more tired than before from the effort she has just made. Jemma hurries to personally check your pulse and when she feels the pulse under her fingers, a shuddering breath of joy leaves her lips.

"I...I think your tremors got her heart beating again Dee."

Jemma does not detach her fingers from your wrist, lulling herself into the sweet sensation of your heartbeat, albeit weak. Wanda covers her face, bursting into tears, and the other girls also let out a liberating cry, releasing all the tension and fear they had felt up to that moment.

...................................................................................................

Your body takes five days to heal just enough to open your eyes. You realize you are in the Quinjet's medical capsule within seconds, by now you have been there so many times over the years that you know the smallest details: the familiar beeping sound of your heartbeat, the red button to call Jemma just below the lamp behind the back of the bed, the IV that feeds drugs into your veins, and the glass from which Jemma checks that you are not doing anything the doctor has forbidden you to do. A little unfair of her since she is the doctor. You feel as if a truck has hit you and then a car has run over you to complete the job. You raise your hand to scratch your nose but the oxygen mask prevents you from doing so so you squeeze it between your fingers to remove it but just as you are about to do so, a hasty knock against the clear glass causes you to smile a small smile of exasperation. Even before you turn around, in fact, you already know that you will see your beautiful doctor on the other side. To your surprise, however, she is not alone.

"You just woke up and already you want to take off your mask, I have no words really. Who is the doctor here? You have to do what I tell you if you want to get better, between you and Dais I really don't know who is worse."

Jemma admonishes you and you blush, feeling like a child being scolded by his parents.

"Hey, what do I have to do with this now?" Daisy pouts before slinging herself into your arms. You can't help but notice that his forearm is completely bandaged. When he notices where your gaze points, the Inhuman shrugs.

"It was worth it."

She slides the mask off your face, kissing you with so much passion and love that it leaves you breathless for a few seconds before the Inhuman promptly rushes to slip the mask back over your face.

"You scared us malyshka" Natasha approaches you and her plastered hand makes you frown. The Russian blushes, and for some reason you realize you don't really need to ask her how she broke her hand. Wanda caresses your cheek, leaving a tender kiss on your forehead.

"How are you feeling detka?"

"I'm just a little tired but I'm fine; exactly what happened?"

Their faces darken and that joy you had seen quickly fades.

"You collapsed, your heart couldn't take the strain, and we had to revive you twice." Bobbi's voice trembles as she says this and you reach out your hand toward her; the blonde grabs it and intertwines your fingers, turning a small smile to you.

"You were really a rockstar but if you do that again, I think we might actually kill you."

"Oh yes, don't think we haven't thought about what punishment to give you. Besides not being able to use your powers for at least four months-"

"What? Four months? But that's an eternity-" you jerk back to your seat, removing your mask and immediately regretting it as your vision blurs and the pain in your ribs increases exponentially, so much so that you lean to the right and vomit into the only thing you can grab.

Jemma strokes your back while Wanda holds your hair as you empty the meager contents of your stomach. As soon as you finish, you are so weak that dizziness takes over and your head falls back forward. If it weren't for Wanda, your face would be splattered against the floor. Jemma casts a glance at the heart monitor, and the value it reads makes your heart beat so fast you're afraid your chest might explode. She puts on your oxygen mask and then checks your vitals again.

Your pupils roll back, and as you fall helpless into Wanda's arms, the Sokovian panics a little.

"Hey, hey, detka wake up."

Wanda taps your cheeks but the only thing that changes is the further lowering of your heart rate.

"Jem, what's going on?" Daisy strokes your face, putting her hand on your chest to check your heart vibrations.

Jemma rummages through the drawers of the medical capsule and then, at the fifth drawer she ravages for something, she finally finds what she is looking for. In her hands she clutches a small glass case, inside which she glimpses a metal disk less than three centimeters in diameter and less than two centimeters thick.

As soon as she sees this, Bobbi cuts off your suit exposing your bare chest except for the three electrodes and the black bra you are wearing.

Jemma places the diskette on top of your left breast, just above your sternum, and presses the button above it. The disc blends in with your skin, being invisible to the human eye, and your body jerks, before your heartbeat returns to normal. The small jolt causes you to open your eyes and grimace in pain.

"What the hell-" you mutter, reaching out to massage your chest but Jemma stops you before you can.

"Hey, your heart rate was extremely low and I had to put a pacemaker on you. It's not invasive, Fitz designed one that blends in perfectly and doesn't give any problems whatsoever but you'll have to avoid EMPs but you can't take it off love, okay? I think the effort you put in was such that it damaged your heart, and without a peacemaker you could have another heart attack so until we find another solution and until we have done more tests, you can't use your powers."

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut as fatigue takes over.

"Rest now, we're here malyshka."

Natasha leaves a kiss in your hair while Daisy leaves one on your cheek. Jemma dims the lights to allow you to rest and Wanda lies next to you in the crib while Bobbi closes the glass curtains facing outward to give you all some privacy as you fall into dreamland surrounded by your girls.

You don't know it yet but one of those children you saved is going to become one of the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D. has ever had so maybe a slightly battered heart is worth it.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Leave like, comment and if you like support me on ko-fi. Have a great day!

Taglist: @wandanatsbaby @bioquake-archives @bioquakeweek @daisyjohnsonx @wandanatsgirlfriend @chaekhan @station19 @resilientpendragon @so-no-kissing-then @thearchpitbullmx @ashadash0904 @kingshitonly @alwaysgoodnight @callistic @xjule @yuleni18 @simpforwandanat @alexxislexi @mrsdanversromanoff @coollemonsaresour @hushed-woodsman @razorscooteer @eponine-xx @maniacallinc @michelle170 @classyig @elenaguarnieri @scarletwidow @tati3001 @cristin-rjd @your-my-mission @mr-nicely @hi-i-1 @anniethurs @ktstwice @scarlet-raccoon @maria-403 @goldfishthegr8 @wandanatfan @looiegirl-blog @bioquake-blog @daisyjohnsonx

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fandomnerd9602 · 1 month

Note

Agent Hill x Y/N kissing/celebrating the Avengers win against Loki and Fury catches them

Maria gently hits the wall, her legs wrapped around Y/N’s hips…

The two of them kiss over and over again…

Y/N: talk about a hero’s welcome

Maria: well hero, don’t ever do that again

Y/N: I’m an Avenger now, babe

Fury: ahem

The two turn to see Fury glaring…

Fury: if you two are together now, I would hope you’d name me uncle of your future kids

Maria: already had that planned

Fury: then proceed

Fury walks away as Y/N and Maria continue their make out session…

#marvel #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #mcu #mcu imagine #mcu fandom #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #maria hill #colbie smulders #maria hill x reader #shield #agents of shield #the avengers

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marvelwitchergilmore · 4 months

Text

A Moment Of Everything

Summary: Peter Parker x Fe!Reader -> You and Peter have never gotten along, but can two nights in Florence change things for good?

Disclaimer: Swearing, fluff, angst. Mentions of blood and wounds. I was watching The Proposal last night and got inspired. Enemies to Lovers. See this for whichever Spider-Man you wish. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You knew things had to change eventually.

Yourself and Peter couldn’t go your whole lives hating one another.

You just didn’t expect it to change quite so much.

It had all started one night when you were on a mission with each other.

Two days in Florence, Italy. You were both sent to monitor a suspect. And, like usual, Peter was off with you. He didn’t seem too happy about having to share a bed at the hotel. And, even though he didn’t particularly like talking to you, he would still do it. Only, that night, he didn’t.

When he didn’t have to talk to you, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t even look at you.

So, the night before you were expected to fly back home, you called him out on it.

He didn’t listen to you. He simply walked away from you. He followed the guy and you had to go with his plan. Whatever his plan was, you had to guess.

Only, the suspect got away.

“We’ll find him again.”

Peter just grunted.

“Peter.”

Nothing.

“Peter!”

Again, nothing.

“Jesus Fucking Christ! Peter!” He finally slowed down and looked at you. “What the hell is your fucking problem?! I get you don’t like me, but we’re meant to be together in this!”

“We are together in this.”

You couldn’t help but scoff. “Bull-shit. You have done nothing but ignore me this entire trip. If you have a problem with me, you can just say it. Where are you going now? Or am I not allowed to know that either.”

“Back to the hotel. Not like you’d tell me.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

You tried running to catch up with him.

“Nothing.”

“No, go ahead. Tell me.”

Soon enough you both made it back to the hotel and inside the room before the conversation continued.

“Tell me, Peter. I can take it.”

“No, you can’t.”

“You don’t know me-”

“You’re right! I don’t!” Peter turned around and looked at you, forcing you to stop in your tracks.

“I don’t know you! I don’t know anything about you! Because you don’t share anything.”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to keep my life a little private.”

“A little?!” Peter raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “A little private is not telling your co-workers where you're going when you say you’re going on holiday. A little private is not showing them a thousand pictures of your new puppy. Your life is anything but a little private.”

Clearly, he had more to say so you waited. And you didn’t have to wait long.

Sighing, Peter rubbed his forehead for a moment before looking back at you.

“I have known you for almost ten years and you have told me less than three things about yourself. And yet, an hour before we leave to come here, Hank from the Biology lab does…what? Flirts with you for five minutes, tells you his coffee order and you’re practically marrying the guy!”

“Peter, that’s none- Is this what has been bothering you since we left? This?! Just because I decided to talk to a guy and tell him about my day…why does it bother you so much that I don’t talk about myself?”

“Because I am meant to be your teammate. You have known me for almost ten years and never once have I hid anything from you. We are meant to trust one another. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like me or if I didn’t like you, what matters is that you trust me, and that I trust you. This partnership is meant to go both ways.”

You didn’t know what to say. You just kept looking at Peter. It looked like the world had been lifted off his shoulders whilst he also started beating himself up over what he just said. His chest was heaving and for a moment, you thought he was gonna walk towards you but instead, he took a step back.

“I’m going for a shower.”

When the door closed behind him, it took you a moment to gather yourself.

You couldn’t deny that he had a point. Maybe you hadn’t told him as much as you could have done, especially for being teammates for almost a full decade. But it wasn’t like he didn’t have his faults in it, too.

Maybe instead of ignoring you and only talking to you when he needed to, you might have warmed to him more rather than seen him as a stand-offish person who you would trust to save your life, but wouldn’t trust to put it on the edge first.

After twenty minutes, Peter emerged from the bathroom, freshly washed, clothed and ready for bed. He put away his dirty clothes and put his wash bag back in his bag before climbing under the covers that lay at the bottom of the bed.

He hadn’t said anything when you both arrived at the hotel late at night. Just took some sheets out of the cupboard and put them on the floor. When you entered the room, you said he was being ridiculous.

He just said the bed was too soft for him and that he wouldn’t sleep.

After an hour of back and forth over you telling him just to get into the bed, since it was big enough for a family of five, never mind two, he still decided to stay on the floor.

As you lay in bed, listening to the distant noises of the city, you tossed and turned before settling on your back. But you still couldn’t sleep.

Then you heard Peter.

He was tossing and turning, too.

Eventually, you heard him sigh in annoyance of sleep not taking over him.

So, wrestling with your own mind, you spoke up.

“I like Greek Mythology.”

A few seconds passed and then; “What?”

You faltered for a moment before speaking up again.

“I-I like Greek Mythology. I always have.” you said before explaining, taking your time. “When I was five, my grandmother gave me some of her old books. In the pile was a kids illustrated version of Greek Gods and Goddesses. I was obsessed. And I mean, obsessed.”

You laughed a little as you explained your obsession with Greek Mythology to him. Meanwhile, from the floor and out of sight from you, he smiled. He couldn’t even think of when he’d heard a smile in your voice. Never mind a laugh.

It was once of the sweetest sounds he’d ever heard.

“For three halloween’s in a row, I went as a different Goddess.”

You fell silent for a moment in the memory before you started to speak again.

“I hate coffee. I try it once every year and it’s always the same. Absolutely disgusting.” you chuckled a little. “I spent every summer away from home at Camp where I ran a book club. I watch Rom-Coms when I’m sad because they make me feel better. My favourite flowers are blue tulips. I don’t watch thrillers because they remind me too much of work. And, I haven’t told anyone this much…ever.”

Only as you finished did you realise how much you had told him. And you felt a pang of anxiety in the pit of your stomach as Peter remained silent.

“Are you still there?”

Peter swallowed thickly and nodded his head, despite the fact you couldn’t see him. “Y-yeah. I’m here. Just…processing.”

“Okay.”

That conversation had been just over eight months before you got a knock at your apartment window one evening.

You had taken a couple weeks off work since you hadn’t taken any vacation days…ever. Barton had practically banned you from the building for two weeks.

The rain had been pouring over the city and, with all your work finished, you had rushed out and got some supplies before sitting in front of your TV, watching one of the many rom-coms your DVD collection provided before pulling a few books from your shelves and reading through them.

At some point, you had fallen asleep, still fully dressed, under your blankets, listening to the quiet silence of your apartment as the rain hit the windows outside.

Only, rather than continuing to sleep throughout the night, you heard a continuous tapping.

So, leaning up with tired eyes, you looked around. The loose braid you had stuck your hair in had fallen out, your bobble being lost between the cushions somewhere.

The apartment was shrouded in darkness, save for the street lights outside still lighting small sections of your apartment.

Along came more tapping until finally you turned towards the sash window that lay by the fire escape.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw him through tired eyes.

Making your way over, you pushed the window open and Peter made his way inside.

“Sorry for waking you.”

You just grumbled and closed the window to stop the rain from flying in, though it didn’t stop the small puddle made by Peter who was practically soaked to the bone from the rain.

“Ah, so this is who I lost you to.” Peter said with a slight smirk as he spotted one of your Mythology books.

“Barton said I was banished from HQ until my vacation days were finished. What are you doing here at this time of night? What even is the time?”

“I didn’t know where to go, and you’re the only one who I trust to do the job well.”

“What job?”

Finally looking at Peter, you saw it.

His body, and his clothes, were splattered with blood. You couldn’t tell how much of it was his and how much of it could be somebody else's.

“You didn’t kill anyone did you?”

“No.” Peter answered. “They’re alright, just at the police station getting booked.”

You sighed as you took in even more of his wounds. “Alright. Meet me in the bathroom in two minutes. Give me your jacket.”

Peter removed it and you took it from him, including his grey hoodie.

“Bathroom?”

“Down the hall and to the right.”

Peter nodded and walked down whilst you headed into the kitchen and shoved his jackets into the washing machine and pressed start. Then, from the top cupboard, you pulled down your first-aid kit that contained everything from princess plasters, from when you had been looking after your neighbour's kid for two days, to a stitching kit.

Twenty minutes later, you had a basin full of warm, blood stained water, a once-clean face cloth covered in stains of blood and a grown Avenger sat on the edge of your bathtub, wincing every now and again and you cleaned him up.

“Remind me again why you came to me?”

You turned Peter’s head to face over your right shoulder as you cleaned a graze and cut just above his eyebrow.

“Because I trust you. And I didn’t feel like getting another lecture from Laura.”

“Ah,” you nodded and Peter laughed a little.

Then he hissed.

“Sorry, I'm almost finished with this one.”

“It’s okay.” Peter flicked his gaze to you a couple of times. “T-thank you for doing this.”

“What else would I have done? Kicked you back out of the window?”

“You could have done it. I did wake you up. Clearly I didn't learn my lesson from the first time.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did nearly beat you up.”

What Peter meant was just over two months ago. You had both become friends of sorts. But, you had fallen asleep at your lab desk one night and Peter came in to wake you up and you nearly cursed him out so much that you even had him convinced he was an intruder trying to break into your home.

“But, if you hadn’t come to me, I probably would have cursed you out when I found out, anyway.”

“Found out?”

“You can’t hide anything from me, Peter. I know everything,” you joked.

“But do you?”

Peter’s question slipped from his tongue before he could stop himself, but you didn’t know what to do. So, your eyes turned from his and you tried your best to remain calm until you saw a large spot of blood coming through his black t-shirt.

You tried your best to get to the wound that was beneath it without him removing his shirt, but you both knew it was no use.

So, awkwardly asking him, he stood and you looked to him only to find him looking back.

Slowly, he removed his shirt, trying his best not to stain the rest of his body from the blood you had just cleaned away and for a moment, you were met with his body in front of you.

Most of the blood was coming from that one wound but the top of his arms now showed a little bruising, as well as his torso, though it was more healed than you thought it would have been.

Finding yourself staring for a little too long, you forced your gaze back to his face where he’d removed the shirt from over his head and lowered himself back down onto the edge of the tub, opening up his legs for you to stand between them once more.

Though, it was in that moment that you realised how close you had been standing to him this entire time.

“Th-This might sting a little.”

Peter nodded and you watched as he clenched his jaw and tried to suppress the grunt that tried to escape from him as you cleaned out the wound.

“You might need some stitches.” you mentioned. “I can do them here, though they might not be Laura standard.”

“I think I’ll survive.”

You nodded and tried your best to ignore the fact that Peter was looking at you as you looked for your stitching kit and began working.

In your peripheral vision, you could see some of his bruises already starting to heal, though some might take more than a couple hours.

Even with his adapted DNA.

“If you want, you can stay here for the night. I have a spare set of pyjamas if you need them.”

“You sure they’ll be my size?”

You laughed a little. “My, uh, my neighbour gave them to me. She bought a set for her husband but when they came they were too big for him. She told me to keep them in case I ever had someone…stay the night. They might be too big for you, too but they have a drawstring so…”

“Okay.”

You looked at him for a split second and then looked back to his wound with a small nod.

Soon enough you finished and stepped back to grab the face cloth before dipping it into a fresh basin of warm water to clean off the rest of his wounds that would heal soon enough.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

As you looked at Peter when he stood, there was a moment of…everything.

Neither of you were moving, yet his eyes and your own spoke a thousand unspoken words between their gazes.

Without thinking, Peter lifted his hand to meet your own, allowing you to place the cloth down before he pulled you a little closer.

Your name left his lips in a small whisper, a plea, a wish of permission.

You felt yourself stand a little taller as his other hand came to your face, brushing the loose hair from your face, behind your ear.

His eyes continued to flick from your eyes to your lips, as yours did the same with him.

There was time for you to stop. For you to say no. And if you did, he would have stepped away and, most likely, would have apologised and left.

But you didn’t want that.

Each tantalising moment that passed, you wished for time to hurry up. For his lips to finally meet yours.

And once they did, there was no turning back.

At first it was soft, until you both became hungry for more.

Leaning in, your hands came to his neck to pull him closer to you.

Eventually, the kiss broke apart for a moment, your heads resting together, your eyes partly closed.

“Was that-”

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Peter chuckled a little before feeling your lips connect to his, allowing his hands to pull your body flush against his.

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 6 months

Text

Uniform Kink with Maria Hill ~Kinktober 2023

Happy October 20th!!! On the docket for the day is a Uniform Kink. This time with another Marvel character and SHIELD agent, Maria Hill. Hope you Enjoy!! 🖤🎃

Previous Day <—found here!

Kinktober 2023 <—Here!!

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, implied smut, uniform kink, teasing, flustering, alcohol consumption, kissing, implied strip teasing, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

“Wear your uniform, today…?” your girlfriend curiously asked through the phone.

You chuckled and processed her request in light shock.

“I… Ok…!” You laughed, “But only if you wear yours too…”

Maria laughed over the phone in response.

“Deal.” She declared, “See you at home.”

“Bye, See you!” You hummed, before the call ended.

You put your phone away and continued filling out your paperwork for the arrest you had made this morning. You were a cop at the MPDC, the DC police department, and your girlfriend worked for the intelligence agency, SHIELD.

The brunette had called you with a new idea for the bedroom that you had to admit, you found quite intriguing… Maria had suggested you wear your uniform.

After that call, you couldn’t wait to get home. As soon as the clock struck 5pm, you were out the door. You drove home in eager anticipation. You unlocked your door and dropped your keys at the side table on your way in.

You had beaten Maria home, so you put your things away, waiting in the kitchen for the brunette. You made sure to keep your entire uniform on, and you grabbed a bottle of red wine, pouring yourself a glass as you waited.

About thirty minutes later, the lock of the door finally jingled. You then heard the door open and shut, followed by your girlfriend walking into the kitchen. She dropped her things on the counter, and then shifted her gaze to you.

“Damn.” Maria sighed, not holding her gaze back from racking up and down your frame.

You chuckled lightly, grabbing and offering her a glass of the wine. The brunette thanked you with a kiss and accepted it whole heartedly. You both then migrated to the living room, sitting and lounging with your glasses of alcohol. Maria crossed her leg over the other, eyeing you in your uniform once more.

“You really are hot, you know that?” The woman husked, before taking a sip of her wine.

“Me or the uniform…?” You teased the brunette.

“Oi!” Maria scolded playfully,

“Both…” she suggestively cooed, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Fair.” You gave her a nod and chuckled, taking a sip of your own wine.

“You don’t look too bad yourself either, Baby…” you hummed, finishing the sip of your wine and taking the moment to admire Maria in her uniform.

It was all black and it hugged her perfectly. There was a zipper in the front center which if you pulled down just a bit, you would get the perfect vantage of her tits, you thought to yourself.

Like the woman could read your mind, her hand went for the zipper, pulling it down a teasing amount, where you could clearly see her tits. She raised her brow at you in anticipation of your reaction. You widened your eyes slightly and blushed lightly in response, hiding your stare behind another sip from your glass.

Maria laughed at the reaction that she had pulled from you.

“Don’t be a tease…” you grumbled, taking another sip of your alcohol.

“You first” the woman chuckled in amusement.

“What…?! I am not teasing.” You exclaimed in a huff defensively.

“Yea well your body says otherwise…” Maria teasingly cooed, shrugging and taking a sip of her wine.

“Well why don’t you do something about it…?” You challenged the woman.

She paused from sipping from her glass and set it down, to look at you. Maria then got up and sauntered over to you. She stood in front of you, placing her arms on either side of the couch, so that she effectively trapped you there between the couch and her own body.

“You are so sexy in that uniform” Maria breathed out, beginning with a sigh.

You set your wine aside and gulped. Her words made you go a shade darker in the face. The brunette obviously liked the reactions she was drawing from you.

“I want to sit back and watch you strip tease for me in that…” the woman huskily told you in a hushed tone, while meeting your gaze the entire time.

Your breath hitched and another rush of heat went to your face. You nodded slowly.

“Or… I want you to pretend like I’m in trouble with you in that uniform…” Maria continued huskily, “Or maybe I’ll punish you while in uniform…”

Your eyes widened and your face was now tomato red.

“I—Yes.” You choked out, “Yes to all of it”

Maria smiled and stood up, releasing you from her entrapment. She gave you hand to stand up.

“Good. Then you and me have a long night…” she hummed in delight.

~~~

Next Day <—Chocking Kink!!

Maria Hill Masterlist

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

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yelenabemylova · 10 months

Text

bathtime- maria hill x reader

summary: a really fluffy post mission bath with your girlfriend

“Honey, I’m home!” Maria chuckled to herself as she heard your groan of disapproval at her use of the cliche. “As glad as I am to see you, I think they only say that in movies,” you leaned up on your tiptoes to kiss her, her arms snaking around your waist to pull you closer. “I missed you, dear,” she breathed in your comforting scent. “I missed you too, Ria,” you sighed.

Missions were tough for you both, the time apart always caused you to suffer from extreme separation anxiety and Maria often felt helpless. You always assured her that it wasn’t her fault but she always went over and above to leave little notes around the house for you and she prerecorded many videos and voice notes for you so you wouldn’t feel as alone.

Thankfully, she was back exactly when she said she would be, so dinner had been made and was plated up, ready for her. After she ate, she insisted on doing the dishes, giving you time to surprise her with a nice, soothing bath.

Looking through your shared closet, you found her fluffy pyjamas and laid them out neatly on the bed, bringing a towel into the bathroom and placing it on the heated rack. You turned on the hot tap, allowing the water to heat up a bit before putting the plug in the drain and letting the tub fill up. Rummaging through the bathroom cupboards, you found a few bath bombs that you laid on the shelf next to the tub and then you poured some bubble bath into the water as it continued to flow, allowing it to form a layer of foam.

Unbeknownst to you, Maria was leaning against the doorframe, watching you with adoration as you shuffled around the room. Carefully, you lit a few candles and placed them in various spots, fetching rubber ducks dressed as different Avengers as well.

You ran out the door in search of Maria, but instead you crashed right into your girlfriend, a small “oof,” eliciting from deep inside her. “Ouch,” you pouted up at her. “I’m sorry, honey,” she gently kissed your forehead. “Come with me,” you all but dragged her into the bathroom to show her your surprise.

“Oh, darling,” she hugged you tightly, “I love you so much.” She quickly undressed and hopped into the bath, grinning up at you. “Do you need anything else?” you asked her, taking her hand and she reached it out to you.

“Just you,” she smirked, pulling you into the water with her. “Maria Christina Hill,” you scolded her, your clothes now soaking wet. “Oh no, darling. What a shame, I guess you’ll have to join me now,” she lifted you out, helping to rid you of your dripping garments before getting back in the tub, letting you settle in front of her, her arms tightening around you.

“I love you, silly,” she whispered into your hair. You threw the little SHIELD agent rubber duck at her, “ I love you too, idiot.” She picked up a bath bomb, placed it in the water and watched as it fizzed in front of you. Glancing at your face, her heart burst from seeing how cute she found your excitement. She nuzzled her face into you, her hand rubbing up and down your arm subconsciously, lulling you into a light slumber.

After about half an hour, Maria picked you up and carried you over to the towel rack, wrapping it around you gently to which you protested. “Ria, no. I got this towel for you,” you shrugged it off your shoulders. She caught it with ease, placing it back over you, “shh, darling. Go back to sleep.”

Carefully, she helped you get into your matching set of pyjamas. They were your favourite due to them being extremely soft and fluffy. Picking you up like you were a koala, she brought you into the kitchen, pouring a glass of milk for herself. Sleepily, you reached out for it so she put some into a bottle for you so you could drink it in bed.

She lay you down on the mattress gently, handing you your bottle of milk before crawling in next to you, pulling the blankets over you both and holding you close. You rested your head on her chest, “can hear your heart beating, Ria,” you slurred drowsily. “Oh yeah? Did you know it beats just for you, princess?” she played with your hair, awaiting your response.

It took her a few seconds to realise you had fallen asleep on her, making her smile to herself. Strategically, she removed your milk from your hands and quickly replaced it with your stuffed animals. Thankfully, you didn’t seem to wake up, only stirred slightly, snuggling into Maria further, gripping a fistful of her shirt in your sleep. Her heart began to race, she only prayed you couldn’t hear it now.

Gently, she placed a kiss to the top of your head, allowing herself to relax completely, dozing off with all she could ever need in the world safe in her arms.

#maria hill #maria hill x reader #secret invasion #marvel #the avengers #maria hill fluff #avengers #shield #agents of shield #cobie smulders x reader #cobie smulders #cobie smulders fluff

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anika-ann · 5 months

Text

Back and Forth - part 1

Part 1 - Snap Back

Type: series; agent!reader, inhuman!reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word Count: 7400

Chapter summary:

In which the mission goes to hell and you and Steve clash. Again.

Series masterlist

Warnings: blood, canon-typical violence, mention of gunshot wounds, hints of unhealthy relationship to pain, mention of death, some angst

A/N: ALWAYS MIND THE WARNINGS; dividers by @firefly-graphics 💕; moodboard is for the vibes and does not necessarily reflect reader’s appearance

Steve Rogers was a very large man. Over two hundred pounds of muscle, over six feet three tall, he towered and loomed and hovered above everything and everyone. And yet, his body seemed too small to contain the huge ball of righteous anger, too small to contain the magnitude of the jerk he was being at the moment.

It must have been one of his greatest talents.

And you understood. You understood why he was pacing around, his face the perfect storm with lightning flashing from his eyes, his voice thundering; the mission was a failure, fire and destruction left behind without the important data retrieved. Hell, you understood a little too well how much of that was your fault therefore he had every right to be angry with you.

And yet. Yet, you couldn’t comprehend how that supposedly righteous man spitted around words full of rage when he was to blame himself too.

He was the one to pull you out. He was the one to shake you and break your concentration before your spectre, able to waltz behind locked doors without a key, could deliver the drive to another agent. He was the one to make you snap back, your astral projection dissipating.

Yes, your spectre had been barely walking. Yes, it had got shot in the gut and you really damn felt it. Yes, you – it, really – had been hanging on a tread, with you already at peace with the fact that once you’d snap back, you’d wake up in a hospital bed, because your body wouldn’t handle the strain. Yes, maybe you would have failed anyway, snapping back before you could do what you were supposed to. But now you’d never know, would you?

Because Steven Grant Rogers, Mr. Captain America with the ego of the size of his very moniker, couldn’t have handled you straying from his explicit order to get out earlier.

You were still shaky on your feet, barely having beaten your dizziness and having been walking the fine line of consciousness for way too long, hurting like hell the whole time, but good god, did you have the energy to fight that blonde disaster screaming you down. Especially since he was doing so in front of everyone as you remained seated on the stretcher and kept pulling at the i.v. with custom-made saline to get it from your arm and make the situation at least a bit less humiliating for you.

The audacity. The audacity it had to take for him to call you reckless and scold you for not disappearing faster despite the fact there had been another set of files that caught you eye and needed to be copied. His utter confidence that his plan was as flawless as the first kiss in the early era Taylor Swift songs; confidence that you would have got out safely and the Hydra agent would have never caught you off guard if you just listened to your Captain.

Well fuck your Captain.

You knew you were a failure. You knew that in the end, you were to blame for not getting the intel out in time before the base blown up, the flash drive lying somewhere in the corridor abandoned. Tony Stark might like to tell you that with your abilities defied the basic laws of physics, namely the law of conservation of matter and energy, but you didn’t defy them that much. You couldn’t carry things back by simply grabbing them as the spectre and snapping back to your real body; you had tried countless times, but that wasn’t how things worked, even if you wanted them to – and surely Captain Rogers did as well.

But he was the one to make you snap back. And he was able to do that, because despite the poorly masked hate he appeared to feel towards you at times, he still often made the strategic decision to be the one protecting your actual body; your paraconscious, softly levitating body, completely vulnerable to an attack. Apparently, he was the only one who could be trusted to do it after all.

Whoever called him a golden boy and actually meant it had to be an idiot.

“You should have let me do it! I would have been able to get it to Lincoln or someone else!” you argued, hands pushing at the stretcher to stand up at last, wincing at the ghost of a sharp pain tearing at your abdomen. Never mind that, that was nothing new – Rogers’ unsolicited attack and complete lack of accountability were.

He only scoffed at your argument, crossing his arms on his stupidly wide chest. The bragger. The impossible cannot-do-wrong arse-

“Would you? You were going to pass out! I know the signs by now-”

“So what?!”

“So what?!” he echoed on full volume, throwing his arm out just as wildly as the whole tantrum. “I carried you out of there because you couldn’t walk!”

How dared he-

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you feigned regret, lowering your voice as you finally managed to rise to your feet. “I must have been such a terrible imposition to your superstrength!”

“That’s not the problem and you know it!”

Then what was his problem, you wanted to ask, but you knew that question was futile. You knew the answer already and it was annoyingly fitting to a considerably newer Talor Swift song: it was you. You were the problem he had. And the even bigger problem was that he couldn’t have you delivered back express to Coulson, because lately it seemed this team needed someone with the ability to project more than the new SHIELD did. He was stuck with you; with your apparently incapable ass.

“Do I?!” you questioned. “Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t just walk off a massive blood loss!”

Rogers winced as you spitted out the words; good. Maybe he’d think twice before yelling at you next time when the Quinjet hadn’t even touched the ground yet and everyone could watch your failure in HD since he served it to them on a silver platter.

You winced too as you breathed in deeply and fresh claws of pain dug into your abdomen again; really not good. But not unusual, even as there was no trace of the bullet wound on your body – because it wasn’t your actual body that got hit, not really. Still, the pain remained.

Yet, that was nothing to stop you from staring at Rogers as he glared at you with hard eyes, leaning forward, jaw so damn tense you might cut yourself on the tendons if you touched it.

“You wouldn’t have suffered-- that if you’d have just followed orders!”

“Oh really?! Get over yourself, oh Mighty Captain!”

“Get over-” he repeated as if he couldn’t comprehend you just said that, breathing in deeply to ground himself and failing spectacularly since his voice was still full of accusation. “You should have brought us intel and instead we have nothing!”

You stepped forward to get your retort across almost as quickly as you felt everything in you recoil in guilt – because Rogers was right. Of course, he was right. And you knew that. You wanted to scream and cry and throw up and take a damn nap or maybe just wake up from this fucked up dream but you couldn’t, could you?

You could barely do anything.

“Well, I’m sorry! Okay?! I couldn’t do it and I’m fucking sorry! I know I fucked up! I should have pushed through more, I know, and you have no idea how pissed I am at me! But maybe I would have been just fine, if--- you shouldn’t have stopped me!”

“I wouldn’t have to snap you back if you just did what you were supposed to do!”

You grinded your teeth. Stupid, big-headed pig-headed supersoldier, if he had had any idea-

“What were you going to say just now?” he demanded, standing even taller than before, the mask of anger and disappointment shifting towards challenge.

Fight me. Yell back. Try telling me I’m wrong, when you know I’m not.

Goddamn him. He was so damn self-assured, so overconfident it would get him killed one day and you’d be there to watch like a useless dumbass, because you couldn’t do the one thing every single agent on this team should do: have your teammates’ back.

But you couldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t.

Your shoulders sagged, exhaustion washing over you.

“Doesn’t matter,” you said, minding your volume even as most Avengers and other agents got the memo and tried to give you as much privacy as possible. Bless that useless gesture. “I told you, I’m sorry. I know I need to learn to push myself more despite the pain when the stakes are high, but it’s…” You caught a flash of a new emotion you couldn’t decipher in his eyes and you looked away, scoffing, frustration flaring up again. “Why am I even telling you, what would you know about that, huh?”

What would the perfectly mighty walk-it-off Captain know about you peasants and your struggles. Ziltch. He was perfection personified, never wrong, never weak, never-

The sharp intake of breath had you snap your gaze back – and your heart stumbled in your chest. One brief glance at him and you regretted your words instantly. For one, you were too well-aware of the fact that they were bullshit. For two, you might as well wave a red cloth in front of an already enraged bull.

Steve Rogers bristled, teeth practically bared like those of an animal; he snarled like one too, but it was the tone that had cut you. The tone said so much more than his actual words and that message was like a muleta for you for a change.

“Is that what you think? You think I don’t feel pain?!”

“Maybe you don’t feel anything at all!” you snapped, throwing your arms up, gritting your teeth and closing your fists at the sharp bite at your belly at the movement. For fuck’s sake- “It sure as hell looks like it to me, to everyone! Especially since you’re yelling at me right now! I know I fucked up but it’s not easy on me either!”

The realization that he was acting like an asshole must have been quick – he froze for but a split second – but the fact he cared little for that was even faster, his counterattack coming in hot.

“Well, allow me to correct you, agent, I do feel pain – and I don’t have the luxury to switch it off when I snap back into my real body because I only have one!”

And you laughed. The burst of sardonic laugh tasted like hysteria on your tongue, actual tears burning in your eyes.

Switch it off. Switch it off as you pleased. God, that was funny. That was hilarious. So hilarious you wanted to cry. You pretended that the palm that you lifted to your face was to muffle the laughter and not to check whether some of your tears didn’t escape.

“Ooooh, ohohohooo, you think being me is so great, don’t you? Walk a mile in my shoes, Captain, we’ll see how you’ll like it!” you spat, laughing again. “But I’m sure you wouldn’t only walk, would you? You’d fucking dance en pointe and throw in a few grands jetés en tournant just for the kicks, huh? Because you are Mr.Perfect!”

Despite your challenging words, his demeanour changed in as if you snapped your fingers and the reason for that had your chest tighten in panic.

He noticed the tears. You could tell because he blinked, eyes suddenly roaming your face, his voice falling so quiet you barely heard it all of sudden; but perhaps that was only due to the ringing in your ears, the pulsing in your temples.

“That’s not--- I didn’t mean to--“

You cared shit about what he meant or didn’t mean at the moment. He saw you weak. Again. Not only you had failed, hadn’t handled the mission physically, now you were falling apart mentally right in front of him.

He was going to bench you. Worse, he was going to send you express to Coulson despite needing someone with your abilities and he would never ask you to join the Avengers again.

Fight. Show him you have the fire. Show him you’ve got what it takes. Don’t let him think you gave up.

“Well guess what, Captain, I feel pain too and I don’t have the luxury to heal in a few seconds!”

“I don’t heal that-“ he objected lowly and that was the last drop. The last drop and you cracked.

“I KNOW, okay?! You heal faster than anyone, but you still need to heal, because you can get hurt and you can get killed!” His eyes went wide and you gulped; he heard your voice break. Fuck. “Even if you don’t act like it, because you’re the mighty Captain, after all-“ you added quickly to divert his attention.

And the distraction worked. Too bad it didn’t work for you, words still spilling since the dam had been broken.

“Would you stop calling me-“

“Not all of us can be perfect soldiers, the ultimate heroes! Not all of us can do what you do, just push through everything! We fail, we hurt and we barely survive only to disappoint people like you!” you cried out.

It was the line about disappointment, you were certain – something in his expression shifted again and this time, all fight left your body for good, something inside you breaking. The new emotion on his face almost looked like compassion and you didn’t need that. You didn’t need the demigod amongst men and women to pity you and feel for you, especially not now. Not now when you didn’t deserve it because he was right and now this? You hadn’t been fast enough and strong enough – and he might have scolded you for in front of everyone, but now it seemed as if he regretted that because he needed to be the bigger person just to be fucking more perfect and you couldn’t bear it. You never could.

There was a reason why you always jumped to defence when he showed disappointment in you.

Your voice came out as but a whisper, but you made sure it was firm one. “I failed. I disappointed you and everyone else, I know. I’m sorry. I shall accept the punishment as you see fit even if that doesn’t make up for my failure.”

Nor blind nor deaf, Steve’s demeanour changed too; his eyes were suddenly as kind as his words and that was the worst part.

“I have no doubt you tried your best, Spectre, and that’s all we can ever do. The only punishment which will come is one for not following orders.”

You couldn’t help it. You should have, since you were already in such a mess, most of it of your own making, but hearing him utter those words, him of all people. The irony. You scoffed.

And like a charm, all of his benevolence evaporated in an instant; his back straightened, head held high.

“You’ve got anything to say?”

The words prickled at your tongue but you swallowed them. No. Don’t say it.

“No, sir.” Good girl.

“Clearly, you do,” Rogers opposed, eyes dark as they watched you sharply.

Well, then. Bad girl it was.

“Do I? Fine. You’re a big fat hypocrite.”

You might have as well stuck a bar into a bee hive and poked around, aiming for the queen. Rogers went from slightly annoyed to ballistic in a split second, back in your face.

“Excuse me?!”

“Excused. I bet you were aaaaaaall about following orders in your time, weren’t you?” you mocked him, knowing you were so on point it had to burn him – that was, if he took a moment to actually consider your words, the words of the inferior, painfully imperfect being. “Even now. Never reckless, never out of line if you feel like it’s the right thing to do. Never pushy with your superstrength, never just removing people who stand in your way, because you can and you will get away with it, because you are the saint who does no wrong, not at all-“

It was his turn to scoff, his eyes burning with bright blue flame of righteousness – and disdain.

“You think being me is so great, don’t you?” he threw back your earlier words, bitter, clearly regretting the sympathy he had found for you earlier. He crossed his arms on his chest again, shaking his head, a sardonic smile on his lips. “You have me all figured out.”

“Yes. Yes, I do. So I know you’d do the same in my place and I know that’s why you’re so angry with me. We always get mad when we’re offered a mirror, don’t we?” you pressed, mirroring his bitter smile indeed.

Something flashed in his eyes, voice dropping low. Dangerously low. “I am angry. You have no idea, Spectre.”

Good. Then you had at least something in common.

“Well, so am I. You have no authority to decide when I have enough-“

“As your captain, I actually do-” he interjected, raising his voice again and you just rolled your eyes.

You were insanely grateful for the familiar sensation of slight popping in your ears, the gentle swing of the floor under your feet. You’d be more grateful for it if you didn’t have to stifle a cry, when your body naturally attempted to balance it out and didn’t feel the burn in your abdomen, but you couldn’t always get what you wanted, could you?

Case on a damn point.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, right,” you said, looking straight into your captain’s eyes, sticking your chin out defiantly, saccharine voice of obedience dripping from your lips, heavy with sarcasm. “Well, if you, sir, have anything else to say, say it now, because we’re landing and I’m about to take a shower and sleep for a week. That is if I am allowed. Or do I need to submit an official request?”

You couldn’t tell whether he wanted to shout again or do exactly what you suggested you would do; because suddenly he, too, seemed dead tired, as if your shouting match exhausted him more than the mission or your failure. He stared at you, silent, for a few long moments – a few too many, almost enough to make you feel guilty again for calling him out on his bullshit, enough to make you consider apologizing for that.

Then he sighed. “No, you don’t, Agent. I hope you’ll rest well.”

You blinked, your heart skipping a shocked beat. His voice was surprisingly soft and sincere, his gaze roaming over you head to toe, seemingly concerned.

Did you just break him? Kindness was far from uncommon in him – once you’d calm down, you’d be more inclined to believe that again, you knew as much – but the sudden change genuinely startled you.

“Uhm… thanks,” you muttered, too taken aback to talk back as you walked backwards. He truly looked worn down to a bone, his brain no doubt racing, already figuring out how to fix the mess you had left behind. He looked like he needed a goddamn nap himself. Except you didn’t think he’d take it; that was part of his problem.

Hypocrite.

You swallowed the you too and simply nodded sharply before you walked away, emotions swirling wildly; and at the centre of them all, remorse and puzzlement, wrapped in a familiar sensation of agony.

Winter Soldier was a moniker Steve Rogers loathed; but the reputation which came with that name was not unearned.

When Bucky appeared behind his shoulder out of nowhere, no sound having been made, Steve nearly jumped out of his skin; and it was a true testament to how upset he was that he hadn’t heard Bucky sneak up on him despite his slightly enhanced senses.

“Well, that went spectacularly,” Bucky hummed, instantly making Steve groan internally.

He did not want to deal with this – he wanted to forget about this whole ordeal. The fact itself that Bucky was cheery about a sleeper Hydra cell simply because he had an opportunity to tease him about what had just gone down only added to his annoyance.

He was tired. He was mad. He was confused. He was disappointed – both in you and himself. He was… frustrated. So frustrated; then again, those emotions and the last one in general were no news in your presence, much like many others, but those in particular he wanted to ponder over even less.

“Bucky, don’t,” he warned his friend lowly, glancing at him from the corner of his eye as they made a slow way out of the jet.

It was a waste of words, really: Steve didn’t know what he was thinking, believing the warning would actually discourage Bucky from speaking.

“You know, maybe if you told her that the main reason why you’re so pissed-“

“Buck-“

“- is the fact that she’s challenging your authority which makes you question yourself, and that you’re terrified every time she gets hurt or loses consciousness, be it her projection or, god forbid, her real body, because you care juuuust a little too much for her, then maybe… “

Steve loved his best friend; but if looks could kill, the one he shot him at the verbalized implications, however truthful, could have murdered him on spot.

“Just saying,” Bucky said, shrugging as he kept up with Steve’s sudden strut, a grin audible in his voice. “Communication is key.”

“You need to stop hanging out with Sam,” Steve grumbled. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Bucky snorted, causing Steve’s head to whip in his direction in annoyance. Didn’t Bucky have a lady to tend to? Why did he have to stick around and poke around Steve’s already exhausted brain and feed the already messy whirlwind of emotion? Oh right. Bucky would say it was payback for all the years Bucky spent saving Steve’s puny ass from the back alleys.

“Right. Just like you had no idea what she was talking about when she called you a hypocrite, because you wouldn’t do the same, try to deliver all the files you could even if it meant you’d bleed the heck out, right? Your real body, that is, because you only have one…”

Goddamnit Bucky.

“Bucky, that’s enough.”

“Nope,” his friend quipped, smiling charmingly at the group of agents they passed in the hallway and briefly, Steve imagined what they had to look like; a brooding Captain practically running away from the sunshine-like Winter Soldier. Clint would call them comedy gold; and Steve didn’t give a damn. Today had been a clusterfuck of disasters with you and him in the centre of it.

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. Steve just shot him another glare as they rounded the corner, the corridor now blissfully empty. And sadly, endless with nowhere to hide. “Too bad, punk. You might be the Captain, but you’re still my friend. I’ll be bothering your reckless ass and call you out till the end of the line. And I’m telling you – you two need to get your shit together and make up. And maybe you should finally tell her you’d like to make out. But if I were you, I’d start with that apology.”

Steve stopped so abruptly Bucky nearly collided with him. The flare or anger – because goddammit was Bucky right in certain things and it was truly bothersome to hear those – licked at his gut. As he turned to give his most loyal and precious friend a piece of his mind in return, he found him with a knowing smirk on his face. Why were they friends again?

“Really? An apology?” Steve questioned, the idea absurd even as guilt had already joined the party a while ago. “For what exactly? She should have--- one of those days, she’s gonna-” Steve swallowed against the lump in his throat. He did not like the way the sentence could end. How you could end. But he’d scream at you again before he’d admit that; you brought out that side of him for some reason. You brought out a lot of things, most of them unpleasant. Most of them. “She should have followed orders.”

Bucky’s eyebrows jumped to his hairline – which wasn’t too high given how much he’d let his hair grow, but it still served the purpose of irritating Steve.

“Sure she should. And if you have always followed orders, I’d be dead.”

Steve winced as if he got punched in the gut, all flames of anger put out at once. Bucky just shrugged, unbothered by his hypothetical death.

“That’s a fact, punk. And here’s another: your mother would have boxed your ears for treating a lady the way you just did.”

And this isn’t you, Steve heard the unspoken words and with those he couldn’t argue.

The truth was, Steve didn’t recognize himself around you. He hadn’t more than once but it had never got as intense as it had just now. He felt almost possessed, an astral projection of his own, except he couldn’t control it as it raised its voice like that, in front of the whole team no less. And the worst thing was, it wasn’t a projection; the blame was entirely on him as he failed to contain the onslaught of emotion so sharp and large that he just let it all out. Almost all of it.

The one urge he tried to contain was the one to just slam you to a wall and scream the whole truth before he’d vent his frustration with you in a completely different way, with nips of teeth on that lower lip of yours, always pouting a bit when you got into one of your not so frequent but not so rare arguments, having you scream his name in ecstasy instead of defiance, a breathy whine of Mighty Captain without the snark. He was sure that would have raised a few eyebrows, but hopefully the room would clear in three seconds flat after your back would have hit the wall.

In all honesty, the whole scene had been surreal as it was; Steve had had trouble recognizing you as well. You had disagreed with him a few times, yes, you challenged his authority and questioned his decisions, yes; he had a pretty strong feeling that he was most definitely not your favourite person and more often than not, he didn’t quite understand you – but you had never so blatantly disobeyed an order. You had never endangered a mission or your teammates, never played this much of a Russian roulette, even if one might call you an overachiever which sometimes came with a bit of recklessness by default.

It was true that you could be unpredictable at times; one day you followed instructions to a tee, dutiful, meticulous even; another day, you stood firmly in opposition. One day you dotted on others in almost an overbearing quality, another day it was like you evaporated from the face of Earth, completely absent. But what came over you today, Steve had had no idea – you had been not only reckless, but to a great point, careless. Steve’s mind was blown, but not in the good sense.

That said, he was not pleased with himself either, particularly with the fact was that he had acted impulsively during the mission too. You were definitely right to call him out on it; but that didn’t mean he liked it.

He glanced at Bucky, who was watching him with one corner of his lips still raised knowingly, only fuelling Steve’s ire. Despite all that, Steve knew Bucky was right. And unlike when he was in your presence, he didn’t feel the need to deny that completely.

Sarah Rogers, god rest her precious soul, would have been profoundly disappointed in his behaviour and she would have let him hear it too, despite the infinite kindness and forgiveness she had carried in her heart.

“I know,” Steve sighed. “I shouldn’t have--- she’s just so- I-“

“I know, punk,” Bucky said forgivingly. “I know. That girl has some serious fire in her and she’s not the easiest to deal with, even if she means well, no doubt. Who does that only remind me of…?”

Steve glared at him, unimpressed – he was aware, thank you very much. Not only opposites attracted. Though he was quite certain this attraction was one-sided; and completely insane.

Bucky just grinned and patted Steve’s shoulder.

“Take a nap, Steve. We all deserve one, even if things didn’t go as planned. We’ll get them next time – as a team. Share some of that burden you strap to your shoulders every time to strap on that shield, would you? It can do wonders, believe me.”

“You really do need to stop hanging out with Sam and spend more time with Nat,” Steve uttered, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Shut up, punk, you love me mental health conscious.”

A full grin attacked Steve’s lips now, troubles forgotten momentarily, unlike the fact why Bucky Barnes was his best friend.

“Jury’s out, jerk”

Even as you felt the fire of rage slowly dying, you tried to feed it; because it kept you on your feet. You had not in fact went to lie down, even as you felt those feet dragging more than walking to Natasha Romanoff’ office. She didn’t spend too much time in it, always having better things to do than paperwork, but you knew she’d want her report to be done as fast as possible to move on exactly to those more important things.

And you knew that as long as she was there, her office was conveniently the best place to talk, the camera system disabled.

“Well, hello,” the redhead hummed as she had Jarvis let you storm in, breathless for more than one reason.

Your abdomen was throbbing, but you didn’t have time for that. It wasn’t like you were going to bleed out from a non-existent wound.

“We need to go back there and fix it.”

The infamous Black Widow only raised her eyebrow at your dishevelled state and frantic words, leaning back into her chair. You admitted you had to be a sight to the devil himself since you probably looked like hell, but you rarely let that stop you.

“Water under bridge, Spectre. The base is blown so there’s nothing to go back to and the rest of them will go deep under-“

You shook your head, stalking to her desk, leaning onto your hands, fingers spasming at the bite of pain. Bad idea. And bad phrasing.

“No, Natasha, we—” She scanned you head to toe, her other eyebrow arching as well as you had boldly invaded her space, practically asking to be removed. Violently. You didn’t have the energy to lean back, not right away. You weren’t friends, so you had no right to be so close, but she’d get over it, you were sure. The worst thing to happen would be her breaking off your wrist or something. “What I mean is that we have to act now and get those files. All of them.”

Her gaze zeroed on your face, unnervingly searching and seeing, head tilting to side in genuine curiosity.

“What exactly was in those files that it made you hesitate? You rarely ignore orders,” she stated matter-of-factly, causing you to retreat and step back. Oh. Crap. Black Widow in offensive. She walked around the desk, leaning her weight onto it, crossing her arms over her chest. “What did you see, Spectre?”

You gulped; there was no way around it, even as panic made your breathing even harder. There were so many things wrong with what you were about to say and you had no capacity to analyse why you felt the way you felt about it, let alone why you felt even worse about the fact you were the reason why you hadn’t got the intel to others.

“Steve’s initials.”

Even as her brows had smoothened, they arched again now, eyes growing wide. You swallowed against the lump in your throat.

“I tried to copy it and just opened it for a bit, too immersed to notice the unfriendly. Naturally, I got the bullet for my trouble before I neutralized him, but that’s beside the point,” you said, not missing the corner of her lips twitching. “They were… Natasha, they weren’t just some photos or whatever. Those were… they were inventing some shit. It was physics, chemistry, half of the things I didn’t understand, but I don’t think they were replicating the serum – I think they were trying to neutralize it, neutralize Steve specifically.”

And there was no way I was going to leave that there, was left unspoken, but she heard it. Of course she did; this was Natasha Romanoff you were talking to. She didn’t need you two to be friends to read between the lines of what you were saying.

“I see,” she said slowly, the damn intensity of her gaze not relenting. “And you didn’t tell Steve that when he was yelling you down, because…?”

“It was irrelevant.”

“Bullshit.”

“He wouldn’t believe me.”

She scoffed, glaring you down. “That’s bullshit too and you know it.”

Okay, that was fair. But believing was a lot different from taking action. His damn pride would have still had him snapping you back to your real body even if you had yelled at him through the comms what kind of intel you had been carrying on the drive before he messed it up for you – and him. What the heck had he been thinking, breaking your concentration like that? The utter confusion at his actions – because surely it couldn’t have been he had been so angry with you to endanger the mission – only made the matter of your fight worse.

Natasha was right, however – that was just water under bridge. You sure as hell weren’t about to go ask him what possessed him to be more insufferable than normal and you could hardly fly to the pile of debris you had left behind when the place blew up to search for scraps of hard drives.

“Fine. I didn’t think he’d take it seriously,” you admitted at last.

“Now we’re talking,” Natasha said, nodding, a small smirk appearing on her lips, making you frown.

She sure was taking it in stride all of sudden, almost as if--- was she amused? You hoped that was only a mask and in her sharp mind, she was already building a battleplan. She had to. She was one of Steve’s closest friends, real friends, you knew as much. Sometimes her nonchalance truly irritated you. Would it kill her to show more emotion?

Hypocrite.

“But that’s not enough,” she added. “Steve, bless his heart, can be an ass, but not a complete idiot. Any other particular reason why you’d keep it from him?”

Your face was a mask of neutrality. Or you hoped so.

“Nope.”

Natasha watched you sceptically and you swallowed against the lump in your throat.

Naturally, there was a plethora of reasons and on top of them sat the fact that he’d know. He’d know how much you cared. He probably figured out anyway and maybe he wasn’t one to make fun of you for that – scratch that, he definitely wasn’t, he was too much of a good guy for that – but that meant nothing. Caring for people was dangerous; caring for people when you failed meant they’d be taken away. Having people to care for – good people – was a privilege, a reward, one that could easily be confiscated unless you reached perfection.

And yes. You knew Steve Rogers was a good guy, even when he decided to yell at you in front of everyone and challenged you and made you want to smash him against the wall and bite into his stupid plump lower lip and then cuddle him and tell him he didn’t have to be so strong and that people cared about his safety too. Of course you knew he felt pain, but he just never showed it, and it was just so damn irritating, because you needed him to be only human too, so you wouldn’t feel so pathetic despite your powers, so you’d feel a little more worthy. You were well-aware that your way of thinking wasn’t healthy, especially since Steve was a person you could never and should never compare yourself to because that standard was just impossibly high, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t try to meet it. That didn’t mean your family hadn’t set the standards just as high. Perfection was not an unreachable standard, even as it always seemed to be out of reach for you.

However, knowing that precisely that was one of the main reasons why you admired Steve as much as you wanted to punch him to his perfect teeth didn’t help you coexist with him or stopped you from acting like a five-year-old in his vicinity.

On top of that, you were fully aware of how disappointed he would be in you for failing in one particular task which you were sure he considered the most important one: to have your teammates’ six. And you wouldn’t handle that; you were selfish even to that point. To have Captain Rogers learn you hadn’t been strong and fast enough to retrieve data which increased the chance of keeping a key member of your team safe and watch his reaction up close would break your damn barely patched up heart.

Natasha continued to watch you as you zoned out, her smirk growing. “Right. No other reason at all then.”

Oh, she knew about it all, alright. You had no doubt. She might not show much emotion, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t mastered reading other people’s tells. If you had any emotional capacity left, you’d be ashamed at how your face burned under her watchful gaze.

“Will you please tell the others about the files?” you asked instead, causing her to tilt her head to side a fraction again.

“I will, but why should I? Why, when you can be the one to do it? If nothing else, you should tell Steve,” she said, almost motherly you supposed – not that you’d know. “Those were files about him – he deserves the truth and to hear it from you. I’m sure he’d be less angry with you too.”

Somehow, her last suggestion was even more terrifying than Steve Rogers being all in your face and snarling. You attempted a smile, masking the anxiety curling in your gut by exhaustion.

“Maybe. I just… it might be childish, but I don’t… I don’t have the energy for that now. Tell me what else I can do and I will, but not that.”

She watched you silently for several long moments, a small smile curling up her lips – almost a compassionate one. What was it with people and their damn compassion today? You had fucked up. Why was Steve the only one to acknowledge that and why was he relatively nice about it in the end, just like Natasha now? Frankly, as much as you preferred not being completely on Black Widow’s bad side, earning her pity was exponentially worse.

“You know, most things are not going to go away just because you pretend that they don’t exist. Least of all feelings.”

It’s been working out pretty well for you, you wanted to throw back, but Bucky Barnes, the love and the lover who was one of the few people who could slip under the hard shell of Natasha Romanoff, would probably argue with you that it worked for her the best when she did let someone in. But unlike you, Natasha Romanoff did not make mistakes and was an epitome of perfection herself so she could afford that. Natasha Romanoff was terrifying; you’d like to watch someone try to mess with her.

You, on the other hand, were no Black Widow. You could and even had to keep pretending in order to exist.

“Just watch me.”

She sighed, letting her hands fall to her sides. “Go to bed, Spectre. I know you still feel that gunshot wound.”

You froze.

Your heart skipped a beat – several beats, you were sure – because your chest suddenly hurt, panic clawing up your throat anew.

She knew. She knew.

How did she--- how? You always fought so hard to hide it, as much as of a pain that was; horrible pun included.

Yes, you sure as hell still felt the gunshot wound. With every move. With every breath. Every time you had strained your muscles to yell back at Steve.

The pain of whatever injury your spectre sustained alwayslingered. Ironically, it was only thing you actually were able to carry when you snapped back. It stayed with you for a while; not the whole time that it would take for the wound to heal, but it still took days sometimes, days of pain whose intensity slowly faded away. An invisible aching wound – like a pain in a phantom limb. There was no evidence of an injury in your body, but your brain still registered it. No therapeutic approach had worked when you finally accepted that despite what you had been taught, this wasn’t normal; only for having to accept that with no solution in sight, it actually was normal. Then again, what was normal when you only had one sample to examine?

“You mostly hide it well, don’t worry,” Natasha’s voice snapped you from your dark thoughts, uncharacteristically soft. “Your secret is safe with me. But that doesn’t mean it should.”

“It definitely should,” you said in at instant, eyes hard despite the tell-tale burn of tears you felt. If anyone knew – anyone else, that was, apparently – you’d be done. Benched forever.

I do feel pain and I don’t have the luxury to switch it off when I snap back into my real body, Steve had thrown at you. If he hadn’t noticed, you were good; you had indeed hid it well enough and that was all that mattered; despite bickering and yelling, he was still willing to work with you. But that would change very quickly; and he had the authority to kick you out of this team and this business completely.

Sure, Natasha had the power to bench you and even fire you as well, but judging by the way she was looking at you now, no matter how disapprovingly and somewhat proud at once, she wouldn’t. It would be okay – as long as she’d keep her mouth shut about it just as Andy had. Andrew Garner, the only person who had known your painful secret and encouraged you to engage with various therapy approaches to rid you off your burden. He had taken the secret to the grave, never having told nor Coulson, nor the rest of his team.

The one person who had known about this was dead; and if that wasn’t a clear enough message that no one else was supposed be trusted with this, you didn’t know what else would.

“It should,” you repeated, inhaling and instantly regretting it. You swallowed as Natasha didn’t miss the tiny hitch in your breath. Dammit you needed to get better at hiding it. And you would. “Please. Tell me what else I can do.”

Perhaps it was your true superpower to make people sigh, not to project into another room, because the redhead observed you for another long moment before sighing again.

“I meant it, Spectre – go to bed. After I’ll tell the others, we might need you. Rested. With as much as you can give.”

One corner of your lips rose in a tired defiant smirk. “I can give everything.”

The look Natasha gave you before you spun on your heels told you that precisely that was both the blessing and the problem. But you didn’t need to be told more than twice to go to bed.

As you walked out, trying your hardest to walk completely straight and not hunch over even a bit, you heard Natasha’s completely exhausted sigh.

Next chapter

Series masterlist // S.R. masterlist

Alright folks, life's been quite busy so this was born through sweat and tears and I don't think it will get better any time soon, but hopefully the result will be worth it 🥰

There are and will be a few distant references to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I think you should be fine whout having watched the show.

Thank you for reading 🥰 As always, if you have he time and energy, I'd greatly appreciate your reblogs and feedback, be it even a key smash or yelling at me should the need arise 🤭

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #agent reader #shield agent reader #avenger reader #inhuman reader #steve rogers #captain america #anika ann #back and forth

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vbecker10 · 2 years

Text

Back to Basics (Part 2 of 3)

(Part 1) (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Bucky POV)

Warnings: none, fluff, touch of self doubt, clumsiness, being super awkward

A/N: I know in the last one I said it was a two parter but I lied lol its going to be 3 now

_________________________________________

(The next night)

"I'm just going to quit and move back to Wakanda," you tell Steve and Sam as the bartender places three drinks in front of you.

"You could just dig a really big hole and crawl in there," Sam suggests. "Oh... or get Strange to send you to another dimension. Or Thor could hide you on Asgard. Or... oh, I know, we could send you-"

"You're not helping," Steve says seriously, then he takes a sip of his drink.

"No, no I think he might have a point," you say, putting your face in your hands.

"Its not that bad," Steve says, putting his hand on your shoulder.

"Not that bad?" Sam asks, "You know what happened right?"

"Well... I... no. I just heard that the gym had to be closed for the rest of the day," Steve says cautiously. "What exactly happened?"

You drink some of your beer while Sam smiles excitedly. "He flooded the gym," Sam laughs and you can feel Steve looking at you.

"You did what?" Steve asks confused, "How?"

You sigh and just as you are about to explain how you managed to put a hole in a wall and bust a pipe, you hear the familiar sound of Y/N's laughter. You turn towards where its coming from and see her sitting at a table near the front of the bar with two women.

Sam nudges you, "Should we say hi?"

You shake your head, "I'm pretty sure I'm the last person she wants to see at the moment."

Apparently Sam decides to take that as a yes. He stands up and waves both of his arms which of course catches her attention. She waves back then and motions for the three of you to come over to her table. They both grab their drinks and head over, you follow slowly with your drink in your hand.

"Hi guys," she says with a bright smile as she hugs both of them. You stand slightly behind them, having decided you were unworthy of a hug considering the literal messes you've been making for her.

"These are my friends, Sobhana and Luna," she says, pointing to each woman as they wave and say hi. "This is Sam-" Y/N starts.

"Y/N, we know who the Avengers are," Luna says with a laugh.

Sam and Steve take two of the three empty seats and you realize the only one left is next to Y/N. She smiles at you as you pull out the chair and for a moment you were sure she blushed when you smiled back. Sam immediately begins talking with Y/N's friends and Steve joins in.

Y/N looks down at her drink quietly, fidgeting with her straw as you slowly peel the label off your beer. "Y/N, about this morning-" you start to apologize again.

"So today was interesting-" she says at the same time and you both laugh a bit.

You continue to pick at the label in silence for a moment then say, "Its probably a good thing there are only two days left in my assessment. I'm not sure the gym could handle much more of me."

She laughs and touches your arm lightly as you pull the last of the label off the bottle. It slips from your hand, slides across the edge of the table and lands in her lap. She gets up quickly with a yelp and wipes the beer off her jeans. You start to apologize and grab a few napkins from the middle of the table.

"Its ok, I'll be right back," she says, taking the napkins from you as she leaves. Sobhana and Luna follow closely behind her, no doubt to talk about how weird and awkward you are.

You groan loudly and drop your head onto the table with a thud. "How soon do you think we could get Thor to send me to Asgard?" you mumble. "Or that frozen place Loki is from."

Sam laughs and takes the seat next to you, after dramatically drying it off. "Alright Bucky, what the hell is the matter with you lately?" he asks, you look up and shrug.

"I know Y/N is pretty but-" Steve says.

"She's beautiful," you correct him and put your head back down on the table with another thud. "And funny, sweet, smart..." you trail off.

"Ohh... I know what's wrong with him," Sam laughs. "You've got a crush on Y/N," he says and you groan. "Oh, a really big crush."

"Shut up Sam," you say, worried Y/N and her friends will come back and hear him.

"That's ridiculous," Steve argues. "You've dated plenty of women and you've never acted like..." he thinks for a minute trying to find the right word.

"Like an idiot," Sam helps him finish.

"Thanks," you say, not bothering to argue since you think he's right.

"No, come on. When we would go to those dances you were always surrounded by women," Steve says. "You've never been this nervous or clumsy around anyone before."

"I don't know... it's been so long since then." you tell them. "I just want to be able to talk to Y/N for ten minutes without doing or saying something stupid."

"Well here's your chance," Sam says and you look over to see Y/N and her friends coming towards the three of you. Sam moves back to his original seat so Y/N can be next to you.

Everyone begins to talk again and a few minutes later you and Y/N both finish your drinks. "Do you want another one?" you ask her and she tells you yes. "Anyone else want anything?" you ask everyone at the table.

"Oh, look at the time," Sobhana looks down at her watch. "I've got to get home and do the dishes." She gets up and puts on her jacket while staring at Luna.

Luna nods and stands up, "I should head out too, I have to... water my plants."

"Water your plants?" Y/N asks, crossing her arms as she leans back in her chair.

"You heard me," Luna says as she grabs her bag. "Text us later," she tells Y/N as each of her friends gives her a hug before leaving.

"That was weird," Steve says, clearly oblivious to what was going on around him. He picks up a menu from the middle of the table and turns it over to read the dessert section.

"Yea... but it is getting late and we said we would help Thor," Sam tells him.

"Help Thor with what?" Steve asks as Sam puts his phone in his pocket and gets up from the table.

"With the thing he asked for help with," Sam sighs before glancing quickly between you and Y/N.

"Oh... right. The thing, yes we should absolutely go and help him with that," Steve says awkwardly before he winks at you and you sigh. Y/N giggles and waves at them as they leave.

Once everyone is gone, you and Y/N sit in silence again, she's looks over at you, smiling as she tucks her hair behind her ear. Just as she is about to say something you clear your throat. "I... uh, I'll go get the drinks," you offer as you get up from the table, bumping it slightly when you stand.

You glance at her over your shoulder as you lean on the bar and watch her play with her hair. She looks over and your eyes connect for a moment before you look back towards the bartender.

Just breathe, you think to yourself, it's not a even date. It's just two people who were abandoned by their friends... on purpose... so they would be forced to spend time alone. You know why Sam pulled Steve out of the bar, but why did her friends do the same thing? Maybe she wanted to talk to you in private about how much of a nightmare you've been for her during the assessment. She didn’t seem upset but how could she not be? So far you haven't even had one day without her asking you to leave the gym before your evaluation is complete.

"Thanks," Y/N smiles at you when you place the drinks down, almost dropping hers. She laughs a little as she slides it away from you and says, "Don't need that to happen again."

"I'm really sorry about before," you apologize again and run your hand through your hair.

"No, no its ok. It actually reminded me of the first time we met... and you spilled my coffee on me," she says and you slide your hand down to cover your face.

"I did, didn't I?" you ask, thinking back to when you bumped into her on your run.

"Yea... You're a bit of an accident waiting to happen aren't you?" she jokes.

You shrug and look down at your drink. "Only when I'm around you it seems," you say quietly.

She stops laughing and her smile fades, "What do you mean?"

"I'm not normally this much of a disaster," you answer. "Every time I'm around you... I screw up or break something because I-" you cut yourself off, deciding at the last second not to tell her the whole truth.

You take a deep breathand continue. "I'm sorry I've been such a problem for you at work. Tony and Fury have talked to me about the damages for the gym and equipment. I was going to talk to Steve about not finishing the assessment since it doesn't seem to be going well," you tell her.

Then you push your chair back from the table a bit, "I didn't mean to ruin your night too. I'm sure you would have preferred to spend the time with your friends."

"You didn't ruin my night, I was actually really happy to see you were here," she says and you try not to look as shocked as you feel. She laughs nervously, "I've been wanting to talk to you but we just haven't had any time."

"Talk about what?" you ask cautiously.

"Well, for starters... you still owe me a coffee," she says with a small smile.

You laugh a little and ask, "Would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow morning?"

She nods, "Absolutely."

_______________________________________

@michelleleewise @ace-of-gay @high-functioning-lokipath @poetic-fiasco @soubi001 @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814 @lovingchoices14 @justasecretwriter @theaudacitytowrite @klaushargreeves420 @coffeeorsomething-irl @lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @avoliax @talesofadragon @lokiandbuckysdoll @animnerd @juulle987 @lokiprompts @javagirl328 @kats72 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @mochie85 @princess-asgard @holdmytesseract @lokixryss @peaches1958 @highkeysimpingforloki

Let me know if you want to be taken off or added to this list! 💚 (I don't have a separate tag list for Bucky stuff but maybe I should make one?)

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harveywritings92 · 1 year

Text

R/n: There's lots of ways to express sadness and pain. There's music, and art -

Ghost: Smashing heads on the floor.

#S: agents of shield #call of duty modern warfare incorrect quotes #call of duty 2022 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw ghost #gn!reader

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marie-swriting · 7 months

Text

Your gallery if you're dating...

Daisy Johnson

Those pictures aren't mine, credits to owners !!!

Other galleries

#your gallery if you're dating #daisy johnson #daisy johnson x reader #Daisy Johnson x you #daisy johnson imagine #agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#agents of shield imagine #agents of shield x reader

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tvseries-writings · 18 days

Text

Bad addiction

Plot: After an interrogation gone wrong, it is hard not to fall back into old habits and make questionable choices

TW: alcohol addiction, past suicide attempt, depression

Wandanat x Bioquake (Jemma x Daisy) x Bobbi x reader

Many people say that silence is the most deafening sound, more so than any other sound, even more so than the sound of a mine being blasted to extract the precious minerals it contains. And now, as you sit in one of the chairs at the kitchen table, looking down at the still-unbroken bottle of vodka in the complete silence that surrounds the room, you realize that these people are right.

It is 3:45 a.m. on a dreary Saturday morning, and that boy's face, imprinted in your mind, has kept you from sleeping and at the same time made you open the bus locker that Jemma had diligently locked as soon as she learned of your "not-so-little" problem.

In your world, everyone has tattooed on their body the first words their soul mate will say when they first meet.

You have to admit that in the unhappy and violent family you grew up in, it was no big deal to have five different phrases tattooed on your back due to some hideous flaw in the system. Two soul mates was abnormal enough, but five? Inconceivable, and Mark, your stepfather, had reminded you of it over and over again until one fine day he died of a heart attack. Of course, the moment he had collapsed in front of you, you hadn't run for help... Besides, they say there is no such thing as karma.

Bobbi was the first of the five mysterious soul mates you met and fell madly in love with. It was Bobbi who brought you into S.H.I.E.L.D. shortly after recruiting Daisy (then Skye), and who finally put a face to two of the people whose words she had tattooed on her right forearm.

"I want to be your sponsor, I want you to get better."

It was Bobbi who helped you out of the maelstrom that had engulfed you, who helped you to what would become six full years of sobriety. Six years without a single drop of your trusty friend alcohol in your stomach. She became your sponsor, was with you day and night, held you while you puked your guts out in the filthy bathroom of a bar at five in the morning, and whispered tough words to you when you told her you wanted to quit. You don't know where you'd be without her. In fact, you don't know where you'd be without all of them. Jemma, Bobbi, Daisy, Wanda, and Natasha are your rock and always will be. But today, today you have to forget and they may be your rock but unfortunately they have far too many demons to face and yours you might as well keep to yourself.

With a knot in your stomach and nausea, you uncork the bottle. The pungent smell of vodka burns your sinuses as you carefully place the cap on the counter. The concave side facing down, just like at the bar. Your fingers tighten around the thinnest part, the contact of your skin with the cold glass makes you shiver, and for a moment, just a single moment, you think you don't want to throw away these six long years of sacrifice, and then... then the boy's face hits you like a slap in the face. Actually, the slap would hurt a lot less.

He was just a boy, a young soldier molded by Hydra who had killed himself to give in during your interrogation. You had been too harsh and too slow to stop him, and you had not stopped him, and he had broken his right cheekbone, causing the small cyanide capsule placed there, just below the surface, to rupture. That boy was walking around with a time bomb between his eye and his nose, and he had done it voluntarily, killing himself with that same bomb. He had killed himself in front of you, his name was Gideon and he had just turned nineteen. And he was dead, he was dead because you were not focused enough, because you were the one who pushed him to do it and now he was gone. He should have had his whole life ahead of him, he had just been subjugated, but now, now there was no chance of redemption for him. So you punished yourself, nothing new, the bullet in your right leg is proof of that...even though you had stopped the bleeding by now. You just needed to punish yourself, that's all. And the bottle you hold in your fingers serves the same purpose as the bullet.

"What are you doing?"

The sound is so sudden and unexpected that you let go of the bottle and it shatters on the floor of the bus. The plane continues its course as if nothing had happened. How fascinating machines are, so emotionally numbing and yet indispensable.

Bobbi approaches you slowly, as if afraid to frighten you. Her hair is disheveled and her expression is a mixture of concern and weariness. You swallow, begin to shake your head and fall to your knees, repeating the words "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry" as you fiercely pick up the shards of glass from the bottle.

"Stop or you'll get hurt."

The blonde girl is not even in time to say these words before a piece of glass gets stuck in your hand, causing a deep cut that begins to bleed profusely. You don't notice and Bobbi is scared to death. You don't feel the pain and, on the contrary, you continue to clear your mind.

Perhaps you have become a machine too, emotionally numb. Damn, how you want it; to feel no more pain - isn't that the human dilemma?

Bobbi snaps forward, tired of seeing you hurt again and again, and grabs your wrists with her hands to stop you; it works. You suddenly freeze, avoiding eye contact and not saying a word. Bobbi never loses sight of you for a minute as she gets up to get a cloth to dab the wound and stop the bleeding.

You stay like this for about ten minutes, in silence, while Bobbi bandages your wound with two stitches for "safety". He wraps your hand, but when he is done, he does not pull away, contrary to what you expected. Instead, she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, making your eyes meet before breaking the silence.

"Do you ou want to tell me what happened?"

You always said that Bobbi, as an alternative to super badass spy, might as well have been a psychologist (as well as a model, of course). In fact, her tone is exactly what one would expect from a psychologist; gentle but detached. In a warm but cool clarity of action. In the art of weighing words that only Bobbi is capable of, and in which she is the first even to Jemma.

When she realizes you have no intention of answering, her hand quickly finds your leg.

"Have you been drinking?"

You bite your lip and shake your head slowly.

A small smile curls her lips as she leans in to plant a kiss on your forehead.

"Well... you did good rockstar."

Bobbi rests her forehead against yours, caressing your cheeks as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

"We're both tired and need to sleep, especially you. I'm not dropping the subject, and it's definitely something we'll discuss in the morning, but until then, until then, we're going to bed with the others. And I don't want to hear any objections."

You follow her, whatever she wants, you're going to give it to her. You owe it to her after the shit you wanted to do tonight; not that you wouldn't have done it if you had gone back. But now, now is a thought that has to be put off until the morning.

Bobbi tucks you in and wraps her arms around your sides, hugging you from behind. Your nose breathes in the lavender scent of Diasy and the vanilla scent of Wanda as Nat's soft snoring and Jemma's recovered words accompany you into the world of Morpheus.

.........................................................................................

As soon as you wake up, the weight of the conversation you're likely to have with your soul mates hits you harder than you'd like. And if you hate getting up on other days, today is even harder.

You get out of bed and walk down the hall with the same agony as a condemned man on his way to the gallows.

No, a condemned man is better off than you. At least he has the consolation of death; you, on the other hand, have only the certainty of a head-spanking from your girls.

It's barely 10 a.m., and your girls' voices echo down the narrow, cold hallway leading to the kitchen. As soon as your head pokes through the door, the voices stop.

"Hey."

Your stomach turns as you sit down in the only empty chair.

Wanda is at the stove, Natasha behind her, trying to help, even though you all know the Russian spy is anything but a good cook. Instead, Daisy, Jemma and Bobbi are all three at the table. Needless to say, all eyes are on you.

Wanda places a stack of pancakes on a plate in the middle of the table and with a shy smile invites you to help yourself to her delicious masterpieces.

You are not hungry. The silence between you is so strange, so different... that it has created a knot in your stomach. You are sure that if you even tried to take a bite of Wanda's pancakes, you would immediately run to the bathroom and throw up.

It is not you who breaks the silence, nor is it Bobbi; contrary to what you might have expected, it is Daisy who does so. Well, maybe you should have seen it coming.

"How could you even think that?"

You know very well that it is not a question. The others know it too.

The young superheroine wants to know the reason that almost made you break your promise.

Not that you could forget that promise. How could you?

It's hard to forget the feel of your girls' damp, heavy clothes and the sting of their deeply disappointed stares as you limped into the foyer of your simple, unassuming Manhattan apartment, staggering around with a bottle of vodka in your right hand and a gun in the other with only one bullet in the clip. It is hard to forget the look of terror on her face as you squeeze the trigger three times in a row, the cold metal of the barrel burning your temple. It is impossible to forget their screams as Natasha lunges at you, at the exact moment when you pull the damn trigger for the fourth time in front of their disbelieving, frightened, terrified eyes, and the bullet lodges on the wall behind you; inches from your head, as the gun, now unloaded, is kicked away from the Russian spy. It is impossible to forget the promise you made to them about never touching even a drop of alcohol again.

Over time, you have learned so many terrible things that you have trouble falling asleep at night. And when they say that addictions of any kind don't change a person...they lie. Fuck, how they lie. Lying bastards in an age of lies. An addiction changes you. No choking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I - yesterday was hard, the mission - I'm sorry."

You don't look up, you don't meet the eyes that you learned to love and accept only after a long time. You don't have the courage, you can't look at the most important people in your life, knowing that you made them suffer again. How many more times will you have to hurt them before they realize they no longer want you in their lives?

Bobbi sighs and shakes her head slowly. He gives you a small smile, just a hint of the one you loved before anyone else. She squeezes your thigh and reaches her hand out from under the table.

"We're not mad, we're just worried rockstar."

"Bobbi's right, Detka, we are scared that what happened years ago might happen again."

Wanda plays with the rings you exchanged when you all decided to move in together.

Natasha doesn't speak; she just watches you in silence. So does Jemma.

Daisy, on the other hand, seems on the verge of exploding, and that's exactly what she does.

"You can't do this to us again, okay? Do you know how long it took us to get over that? We still have nightmares about that night and you know it! How could you even think of drinking? You had to talk to us about it, you had to..."

Bobbi interrupts the inhuman, wrapping her arm around her hips and holding her close as she plants small kisses on the top of her head.

"He killed himself right in front of me, Daisy! He was a young boy, he had his whole life ahead of him and I didn't stop him!"

You slam your hand down on the kitchen counter, carefully away from your soul mates, using so much force that the deep cut you made the night before reopens and the bandage quickly soaks with blood.

A small grimace crosses your face as soon as your hand hits the marble surface.

"Y/n!"

Jemma takes your hand between her own, examining the wound medically and glancing at Bobbi as Wanda runs to the first aid kit in the bathroom.

"Honey, it's not your fault. The only culprit in all of this is Hydra. Yes, the boy was young, but he was aware of his choices."

Natasha strokes your back as Jemma uses needle and thread to sew up the cut on your palm. Jemma is about to put the fourth back on when you pull your hand away from her loving care and turn away from your girls.

"Y/n, please come back, I'm not done yet."

You look away; your left arm falls back at your side and small drops of blood run down your hand and fall to the floor. Your only desire now is to hold on to the bottle and drink until you see the empty bottom. You do not deserve their love, let alone their understanding.

"You're thinking very hard, detka," Wanda whispers, holding out her hand to you, and when you don't take it, intertwining your fingers, the hurt look on the Sokovian's face makes your heart clench.

"I thought I had overcome my addiction, and yet when some event shakes me, I am still in the grip of my emotions and it sucks....You want to know if I still want to drink? Yes, it gets stronger and stronger and it will never go away. That's the problem, I... I don't know if I can live with that for the rest of my life.

You all feel the small gasp that leaves the telepath's lips as she looks into your mind.

"Last night I... I took your gun," you whisper, turning your gaze to Natasha, "I know the password to the safe where you hide it; besides, it's not hard, just remember the day you first came into my life, and yes, yesterday I took the gun and put it to my temple, but I didn't pull the trigger, I didn't, okay? Just like I didn't touch the bottle of alcohol in front of me, so yes, I'm not okay, I'm shaken by what happened and part of me will always want to end it, but I'm not going to make you go through this again. I love you too much to hurt you like that again."

You scratch nervously at your wound, pinching your stitches before a gentle hand stops you. Jemma takes your hand back and makes the final stitches as the girls surround you.

"It's going to be okay honey, we're going to get through this too, but you need to go back and see Dr. Garner."

You sigh and shake your head before being stopped by a rather pissed off inhuman.

"I don't think you have a choice, so you're going to do what we say, okay?"

You sigh, nodding slightly as you begin to find the steel floor beneath your feet particularly interesting.

"Y/n, where did you leave the gun?"

Bobbi whispers and the question that has been hanging in the air until now is asked.

You teleport to your bedroom and retrieve the gun from its hiding place, where it had been masterfully concealed among some of your old clothes, and then Teleport back to the kitchen and hand the gun to Bobbi. The blonde takes it and slides the magazine out of the black Glock she holds in her hands, and when she does, your heart stops. You didn't think he would check.

"Y/n...? One bullet is missing-"

Daisy grabs the clip before Bobbi can finish her sentence,

"Are you fucking serious? You did this? You lied to our faces?!"

"I, it's not what it looks like."

Your throat goes dry as you look for the nearest chair to sit in; you wrinkle your nose as the bandage you've been so busy tightening around your thigh rubs painfully against the wound. And while the other girls are too busy trying to figure out what's going on, Wanda reads your mind and her eyes go wide as she falls to her knees in front of you. The other girls look at her with confusion and concern before the Sokovian speaks.

"Detka, Detka, where is the wound?"

Your breath catches and you freeze. They can't take away the pain you feel, they can't - you don't deserve the relief, you don't.

"N-no! Me, it's okay, I took care of it, I'm fine."

Natasha, who had been silent until that moment, steps forward and pulls your pants down before you can even think of stopping her.

The blood-soaked bandage shifts to reveal the bleeding, red wound; an ongoing infection, most likely -- after all, you didn't put any disinfectant on it, and the only thing you cared about was wrapping it tightly with a bandage so you wouldn't lose too much blood. You don't even know if the bullet got out, but considering your teleportation skills, it probably did. The only reason you don't stay naked every time you teleport is because Fitz made all your clothes out of a dwarf material that apparently allows you to stay clothed.

"Damn it!"

Natasha says, leaning over your thigh and looking at Jemma, urging her to get the first aid kit. The biochemist runs to the bathroom and returns in less than a minute with the kit in her hands. You kneel down next to the former Russian spy before putting on your gloves and cutting off the now completely useless blindfold.

Bobbi walks over to you and places a hand on your forehead to check your temperature before asking Natasha to hand her the thermometer.

"She's warm, I think the wound is giving her an infection."

Bobbi puts the thermometer to your lips, and when you make it clear that you are not going to take your temperature, Bobbi raises her right eyebrow and looks at you intently.

"Rockstar, I don't want to force you to open your lips, but you really messed up, your health is not the best right now and we're really worried, so please, please... help us help you, okay?"

Bobbi's voice breaks as her look of pain and concern finally makes you realize how much this, how much YOU are costing them...so you do everything they tell you and a full twenty-five minutes pass before you are finally patched up and lying on a cot in the infirmary.

"Why did you do this? Are you... do we have to take you off missions? Are you trying to hurt yourself?" Natasha approaches the edge of the bed, resting a hand on your good leg.

"Obviously, considering what he did."

Daisy blurts out, and the fact that she relies so heavily on her sarcasm lets you know that she is genuinely worried about you.You bite your lip, a small sigh rippling the air around you as you trace the bandage on your hand with your thumb, distracting yourself from the conversation you are about to have.

"I... just wanted... I needed to feel physical pain, and not the kind of pain that tears you up inside. I just needed to feel nothing, just for a little while...I'm sorry."

Jemma squeezes the IV bag and, after a final glance at the monitor showing your blood pressure and heart rate, sits down in the empty chair to your left before taking your hand between her own.

"We're going to help you, okay? It's going to be okay, we're going to be with you every step of the way, and we're going to get through this, just like we did before."

"But we need you to help us, rock star."

"And you need to tell us how you feel, especially if it makes you do things...dangerous for yourself, detka" Wanda comes over and gives you a small smile with eyes full of concern, just like the other girls.

Daisy crosses her arms under her breasts and you see worry and anger distorting her face and then, to the surprise of you all, the inhuman bursts into tears. Sobs shake your body and your need to embrace her makes you get out of bed and reach out to her, hiding a grimace of pain.

"Dee, Daisy, hey, it's okay love, I'm sorry, I know how that night left a deep scar on you, I... when certain thoughts come, I can't think straight... I can't think at all, damn it. I don't... I don't think about how much damage what my mind is telling me to do could do to you. I'm sorry, my love."

Daisy throws herself into your arms, causing you to fall back onto the cot as the inhuman wets your shirt with her tears.

"I know what it feels like to want the pain to stop, many of us do it”. Your body stiffens at the thought that at least once both Natasha and Wanda and Daisy felt exactly what you felt and are feeling now, "but you are not alone, I know you feel alone but you are not. We are here and we love you so much it hurts..."

"I am so sorry...I, I will try to get better, I want to, for you and to finally be well without having to resort to pain or alcohol."

You whisper, leaving kisses in Daisy's hair as you hold her close. Your girls stand still, letting the inhuman vent before they too join your embrace.

They say nothing, they don't need to. The fact that they are there, their warmth is more than enough and they bring you a slight relief and the burden you have been carrying for so long finally lightens... at least for now.

Thanks for reading! Spoiler: some poly!aos x wandanat x reader is coming! Comment, like and support me on ko-fi. Have a great day!

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