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#she was so relatable sometimes too - autistic connection
quinintheclouds · 2 years
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expectation of wordgirl as a protagonist: good at everything, always understands when things aren't literal, perfect grades, and every teacher's pet.
wordgirl when asked to paint a tree for art class:
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hehe-hoho-ohno · 6 months
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Submas canon vs fanon
The entire time I have been in the Submas fandom I have seen a lot of confusion about what is canonical and what is a wide-spread fanon. Both in the sense of people thinking things were canon when they were not, and (more rarely) people thinking things were fanon when they were not. So I thought it might be useful to put together a little guide.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with using fanon. I use most of these headcannons in my own fics because I like them and canon is dumb anyway. (Note: pokemon is a huge sprawling mass and tends to contradict itself, and there have been changes across the various games/manga/anime)
All quotations are taken from bulbapidia.
Nimbasa Trio - FANON
Elesa has no connection to Ingo and Emmet besides living in the same place. There is one interaction between them in Pokemon Masters, and while they are on friendly terms they don't appear to be particularly close. Similarly, the idea that Ingo likes bad puns/Emmet does not stemmed from their fanon friendship with her.
Uncle Drayden - FANON
The only confirmed family Ingo and Emmet have are each other.
Cilan is a huge fan - CANON
Cilan is a fanboy of both of them in the anime.
Ingo is the older twin - CANON
In the original Japanese Emmet calls Ingo "nii-san" which means older brother.
"Do you have any siblings? I have an older brother, Ingo."
- Emmet, pokemon masters
Emmet's joltik hoard - FANON
Emmet's galvantula knows the move cross poison. This is an "egg move" which can only be learnt through pokemon breeding. Since it would take several tries to get this move it probably would have left Emmet with a lot of Joltik. In theory. We don't see Emmet with joltiks in canon.
Ingo's kitty smile - CANON
He smiles like that in the manga. (Admittedly, it's not as exaggerated as the full on :3 people sometimes draw him with.) He also briefly smiles in PLA, but less cat-like.
Ingo's perpetual frown is unintentional - CANON
"<player>! Someone just told me something that troubled me deeply! They said that compared to Emmet, I'm too stiff! But that's just a misunderstanding! I know I smile when I'm having fun! I'd even say that I'm quite proud of how expressive I am when I speak! What? You say you've never seen me smile? I-is that so..."
- Ingo, Pokemon Masters
They are both autistic - FANON
They are related to the twin heros - FANON
They share similar themes and motifs to the twin heros/Zekrom/Reshiram but that's it. They have no canon relationship.
Both of them are heavily coded as autistic. However, it's never been directly stated in the games that they are autistic and (to my knowledge) nobody at Game Freak/Nintendo has confirmed anything.
Ingo has a receding hairline - (debatably) CANON
He is drawn with one in the art book. Does the art book count as canon? Until something in the main games says otherwise, probably. (Though there is some argument to be had that it might be an unflattering haircut instead.)
Ingo arrived in Hisui via wormhole - FANON
"For my part, I simply found myself one day here in Hisui, a region whose name I'd never heard... All I could remember was my own name. I was still standing there in bafflement when the Pearl Clan came to my aid."
- Ingo, PLA. (However, the art book depicts the pearl clan finding him facedown on the ground, so take his standing claim with a grain of salt)
We still don't know how he got there. Similarly, it is quite common to show Ingo arriving during a blizzard/freezing to death and generally in poor health/injured/unconsciousness. But the way he recounts it sounds much more peaceful.
It'a also common to have Sneasler be the one to find him. The art book (of dubious canon) shows a human pearl clan member finding him, and Ingo's quote seems to confirm that. It's possible Sneasler was involved but she isn't mentioned.
Ingo got amnesia from hitting his head - FANON
We don't know how he got amnesia.
Ingo remembers Emmet as "the man in white" - FANON
"I'm starting to recall a man who looked... like me. We'd battle and discuss Pokémon, I think... The words "I like winning more than anything else" flashed through my mind just now..."
- Ingo, PLA, about Emmet
He makes no mention of remembering Emmet wearing white or smiling.
Ingo calls her "Lady Sneasler" - FANON
Ingo only calls her Sneasler, no Lady. In fact, nobody calls her or any of the ride pokemon Lord or Lady because...
The ride pokemon are noble pokemon - FANON
There are 10 blessed pokemon descended from the heros of old, and these pokemon are revered by the clans and have wardens. The blessed pokemon are divided into two groups, the rides and the nobles.
The ride pokemon are not called noble pokemon, and they do not get titles. Mai talks about "the great Wyrdeer" but does not call him lord or noble.
"This suggests that even Pokémon that are not nobles can become frenzied..."
- Kamado, PLA, about the ride pokemon Ursaluna seemingly becoming frenzied
Ingo lives in Sneasler's cave - FANON
We don't know where he lives.
Ingo became a Warden because Sneasler liked him - FANON
"I showed a natural affinity for taming Pokémon, which is why I eventually became a warden. But still I wonder what my true purpose is here..."
- Ingo, PLA
There is no further information about his wardenship. There is no information on what his relationship with Sneasler was prior to him becoming her warden.
Ingo likes having photos because of the amnesia - CANON
"Ah, photographs. I appreciate having physical keepsakes—less ephemeral than memories. Would you do me the honor of posing for a photo with me, <player>?"
- Ingo, PLA, at the Photography Studio
Ingo has been in Hisui for XX years - CANON
The art book uses the placeholder XX for the amount of time Ingo has been in Hisui. Some have taken the double digits to mean 10+, however the first digit could easily be a 0. So, we still don't know. Net 0 information.
Emmet must be taking Ingo vanishing badly - FANON
We have not heard from Emmet.
***
That's all for now! I'm sure I've missed or forgotten something, feel free to add stuff in the reblogs! I might edit the list later to add more if needed.
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It’s my boy Ryan!!!
As we know our boy is bisexual
He’s also autistic but that’s another thing.
He probably realised he liked boys as well as girls when he was like 12 or 13. He developed a small crush on this boy at school who wore denim and leather type jackets and he thought he was so cool. He never revealed anything though because he was too shy and didn’t get along with others.
He didn’t come out until he and his sister were living with their grandparents because while living with their mum he didn’t feel safe enough to reveal that side of him. He was still a little nervous when coming out to his grandparents but he knew that they loved him no matter what.
The first person outside of his family that he came out to was Chris who reassured Ryan that he supported him and he was always here to talk. That and Chris’s support about his school and home life is why Ryan trusts him so much.
He has a few pride pins that he sticks on his jackets or bags. He also has a few pride stickers that Sarah bought him that he likes to stick on his phone case or laptop case.
I think his bi awakening was Sam Winchester in Supernatural (he enjoys supernatural and paranormal things plus Jared Padalecki was one of my big crushes as a kid so I’m including him because I love him)
He like everybody else definitely had a tiny attraction to Nick when he first met him. I just think Nick is the type who attracts a lot of people whether it’s for a long time or just a short crush. Ryan takes one look at him and is like damn he’s good looking.
His attraction to Nick doesn’t last long though because he eventually starts developing feelings for Dylan. He doesn’t like to admit it but he definitely loves those puns and jokes.
One time Jacob after finding out asked Ryan what his type is and then jokingly asked him if he was. Ryan can’t help being blunt and just said no in the most dead pan voice. Nick, Dylan and Kaitlyn who heard all laughed so hard they cried. Ryan was so confused.
All of the campers are supportive of him and Dylan’s sexualities (all the counsellors are queer tbh)
I think he had a non serious relationship with a guy before coming to camp that year due to him saying “Not exactly” to Dylan when he asks if he has a girlfriend but he’d not been feeling the relationship so broke up with him before going to camp but felt conflicted about it but he realised while at camp that he prefers Dylan’s company and has a stronger connection to Dylan.
Sarah definitely is that little sister that isn’t afraid to tease him. She probably says he’s ‘bi himself’ when he’s single and he just rolls his eyes but smiles because it’s just a little fun because she supports him and is only joking.
I think while he is attracted to both he leans more towards men.
He listens to some Queer artists.
I 100% believe that he watched Heartstopper because Dylan asked him to and he actually got really emotional over Nick’s story. He also hates Ben and Harry with a passion and is a Tori stan because he relates to her a bit.
He sometimes struggles with expressing his emotions and being open about his relationships due to his past experiences and trauma from when he was a kid so the first time he really opens up to Dylan and let’s him in is a big moment for him.
The first moment he refers to Dylan as his boyfriend to someone else he feels really content with it. Dylan is absolutely ecstatic but tries to not to get too excited because he doesn’t want to overwhelm him.
If they got married I think they’d either use both last names and hyphenate or he’d take Dylan’s. I think this because I think he’d have complicated feelings over his last name due to his relationship with his mum but also likes his last name because of its connections to his grandparents and sister. He’d be conflicted about it but Dylan would support any decision.
Him and Dylan go on double dates with Nick and Abi or Max and Laura sometimes.
They end up having a daughter when they’re older.
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harrisonstories · 1 year
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Hey I've been thinking about this a lot and I wanted to ask you, do you think George was on the autistic spectrum?
Hi there, I apologise for such a late response.
You know, I've thought about that as well. A lot actually. I've been told I could be autistic but haven't been officially diagnosed, so I won't speak on that, but I am neurodivergent. One of the things which drew me to George in the first place was the fact I could relate to certain qualities he had which point in that direction. Namely the way he became obsessive about his interests -- immersing himself in research, watching the same films and tv shows over and over again, losing track of time, using them as a way of connecting with people, etc. and a strong desire for perfection in himself.
Examples of what I'm referring to:
"The thing about George -- and we all feel it strongly now that he’s gone off us -- is that he plunged into things. Whatever he got into, whether it was the sitar and Ravi Shankar or the Maharishi, he walked right in and never looked back." — Marianne Faithfull, Memories, Dreams and Reflections (2007)
"George had a really curious mind, and when he got into something he wanted to know everything." — Olivia Harrison, Rolling Stone (2011)
"When [Olivia] first met George she didn't know what George was talking about half the time, he was always quoting Python or ‘The Producers’. He used to say to Olivia ‘Ah my little Swedish bombshell’ which she explained she obviously didn’t look Swedish, but it was a line from the movie The Producers." — Olivia Harrison in Sydney, Australia (2005)
"Maybe there was just too much to do, but the house and the garden became an obsession with George. He found out everything there was to know about Sir Frank Crisp, how and why he built that extraordinary house and garden, why he wanted to re-create the Blue Grotto of Capri and build a mini Matterhorn in the Oxfordshire countryside. He wanted to get inside Sir Frank’s mind and fit into his old boots, and he seemed to want to do it alone. I can be obsessive, but then I get bored and need a change." — Pattie Boyd, Wonderful Tonight
Whether any of this actually means George was neurodivergent I don't know. It's always made me wonder though. It's difficult because not only do we not know George personally, the concept of there being a wide spectrum didn't become mainstream until after he died. There's such a lot of information nowadays which wouldn't have been available to him.
What you also have to consider is the influence of other factors such as experiencing extreme fame at a young age, growing up in post-war Liverpool, his family, and his introverted personality. He was often said to be very sensitive about his privacy and personal space, but I think most introverted people would struggle with that and being secretive was a common Harrison trait. He struggled to succeed within the school system even though he was smart, but he also grew up in a free-thinking household which would've made the rigidity of the outside world harder.
On the other hand you have quotes like this one from Olivia:
Q: Did George separate his private life from his life as a musician? OLIVIA: He didn’t separate anything, he knew no boundaries and was very open about everything, sometimes excessively so. Sometimes he said very funny, but rude things, and when I pointed it out to him, he just said, ‘I don’t have a private life, I just don’t know when you can say something.’ — Süddeutsche Zeitung (translated by Andrea of harrisonarchive) (2011)
What interests me about this is the last line where George says he "doesn't know when you can say something" and that he attributes this quality to being famous. The thing is, we know from various anecdotes he acted this way long before he was famous, and therefore it's unlikely to be the reason he had trouble knowing what was socially appropriate. His mum, Louise, had a reputation for her bluntness as well, so you could argue he got it from her, but I'm not sure that would hold up long into adulthood and after engaging in as many circles as George did. You also can't rule out the possibility of Louise being neurodivergent.
I've noticed all these parts of George come up repeatedly when his friends and family talk about him in every stage of life, and the suggestion he couldn't control it is mentioned several times as well, mostly by Olivia.
"When he opened up to you, he opened up completely. He didn’t know how to do things in half-measures -- which was really positive and sometimes really detrimental to himself." — Olivia Harrison, Mojo (2011)
"George really said everything that crossed his mind. I used to say, 'You really can’t get a thought to your brain without it slipping out your mouth.’ And he was painfully honest. It was an endearing trait, but sometimes you hoped that he wouldn’t be quite as honest as he was going to be." — Tom Petty, Rolling Stone (2002)
To reiterate what I said before, I'm by no means qualified to diagnose anybody and don't claim this to be concrete evidence. However, I hope it might encourage people to take a deeper look into understanding George's behaviour. I find that because there isn't a traumatic childhood to point to, he's not given the benefit of the doubt or afforded the same sensitivity as the other Beatles. People are much quicker to assume he acted out of spite and analysis of him is shallow.
Thank you for the question and giving me a chance to pull my thoughts on this together! If anyone would like to add their thoughts please feel free to share.
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arcadekitten · 6 months
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Ok I might sound like a mess here but I just wanted to ask if you've always intended Mary to be autistic? And if there's specific parts of any of the games that are meant to be seen as her showing autistic traits? (hopefully that makes sense) When I was playing CM awhile ago and I just remember tearing up a lot because I saw myself in her a lot as an autistic person myself. I don't know if some of the scenes were meant to be as relatable as they were to me lol. You're really good at writing and I just have to say that I'm incredibly happy to be able to experience the games you've made <3
If I'm honest, it wasn't my intention on her creation! When I made her, my initial idea was simply for "an average, sweet girl who just comes off a little creepy to others sometimes".
But the more and more I created of Mary, the more I had autistic friends who would come to me and say "Mary? Yeah she reads super autistic"
I would say, internally, I kinda knew Mary was essentially autistic somewhere in Cemetery Mary's development. But it was always something I was really scared to say out loud. Even if my friends assured me that they saw her as autistic, I was really really afraid of coming off as offensive or uneducated or anything of the sort in a portrayal of an autistic character. But my friends really helped me to see that I didn't have anything to worry about in that regard and that her being autistic is something very positive and I had no reason to worry about confirming her as such.
And while I think it's fun that some things can be left open for interpretation sometimes, I started feeling that this was something that needed to be known. And that's why right before I released Blackout Hospital, I decided to rip off the bandage and confirm her as such!(in an admittedly a still pretty subtle way because I was still a bit scared about it haha) And I'm happy I did make it known, because seeing reactions like yours makes me feel really good about it and I'm so so happy people are able to see her and feel this connection to her that can bring so much joy ♡ I hope she can bring you as much comfort as she's given me over the years!!
While I won't be sharing pics of examples of some of her autistic traits (mostly because I'm too tired to go digging), she shows examples of certain traits such as noise sensitivity (The club scene in Cemetery Mary, and wearing earplugs in a picture in Blackout Hospital), special interests(the cemetery in CM) ,intense eye contact (mentioned more often in Here for Sweethearts), info-dumping (she mentions her tendencies to ramble in CM and HFSH) etc etc! There are more than these of course, and also more nuanced ways in how she behaves, but these are just a few examples from the top of my head!!
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river-of-wine · 9 months
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Write your autistic molly O'Shea to me
Absolutely I will! Prefacing by saying I don’t think Molly being autistic is at all intentional and there’s other explanations for all of this, but I’m autistic and my favourites get to be autistic too
Molly is one of those characters to me where I recognised one autistic trait that we share and I bestow her with the honour of The Autistic Headcanon because I love her so much, and then later I realise that there’s actually more that I relate to than I thought. Molly’s character is very reliant on her isolation from everybody, surrounded by people she doesn’t understand snd who don’t understand her. She really doesn’t get why people don’t like her, and let me make it clear! She DOES try! She doesn’t get why going over to Tilly and trying to have a conversation with her while she’s working is received poorly, resulting in her getting told to clear out and getting upset. She cannot connect with anybody in the gang no matter what she tries, so she eventually just gives up, and her problems are not viewed as being as important as everything else even though while comparatively not as serious, they have an intense effect on Molly that no one besides her seems to understand. She has very big feelings and nowhere to put them.
Lastly and the thing I actually noticed her doing, Molly stims! It’s a very small moment, but in chapter 4 when she’s sitting against the wall, she will sometimes look up and shake her hands for a few seconds before going back to her usual position. I’m pretty exhausted at the moment so I’m probably forgetting some things but that should be most of them!
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autisticgirliesbracket · 10 months
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What makes Futaba Sakura from Persona 5 the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:
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Futaba-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!
Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.
[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Futaba in the bottom left corner. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,
"She’s a hikkikomori and a hacker genius. She initially has bad social anxiety due to trauma and does not leave her room."
"She's just like me fr fr (im autistic girlie)"
"Generally described as being incredibly introverted and socially anxious, however having no problem opening up if the conversation is about something that interests her. She also has a deep interest in hacking and computers (if the protagonist claims to have built his own PC, she asks for the specific details on it, such as GPU, CPU, RAM, ect.) There are more details I feel are autistic but I'm not sure how to word them !!"
"Talks in Video Game references and wired expressions. At one point she leaves a conversation because an Anime she wanted to watch was on. Helped me come to terms with my own Autism. Covered her face with a weird mask and a towel (separate events) because she didn't want to show her face in Public. Gets pissed off that someone messes with the her Neo Featherman Figure (basically the Persona equivalent of Power Rangers or Super Sentai). Overall just a massive nerd."
"First of all: The way she sits . little gremlin girl. Second of all. Social awkwardness (she has SO MUCH). Third. She's 15 years old and an international hacker, i mean come on, you cant DO THAt unless youre at least a little autistic. 4. Constantly tries to wear things over her head to avoid being looked at. Five. Her room is the dirtiest place on the planet, filled with snacks and figurines etc. Sixth. Look come on please shes autistic"
"She has social anxiety, doesn't really understand social norms and relates a lot of her real life experiences to video games. She also hyperfixates on the things she's working on and says a lot of strange things without thinking about it."
"Futaba is intensely afraid of social interaction (living in her room for years, unable to exit the house without a meltdown), including her almost constantly wearing headphones (which, to be, read as sensory comfort items). She's only really comfortable around her close friends and family, around who she becomes a lot more excitable and energetic. She has deep and passionate interests in the things she loves, and tends to become hyper focused on whatever shes tasked herself with, even neglecting her own health during which. It's very easy to equate her love of video games to a special interest, as it influences the way she sees the world, to the point where she calls the main character her "key item", since he helps her agoraphobia, saying she needs to "level up" to improve her social skills. To top it all off, her voice actress, Erica Lindbeck, has stated that she played Futaba as if she was autistic."
"Girl had so much autism stored in her body."
"It is very obvious in nearly everything she does that they intended for her to be autistic. Literally just watch almost any cutscene with her and you'll see it (well. Ideally after her palace is taken care of since she's going through stuff and the 'tism is less obvious as a result)"
"she is soooo autism girlswag coded. When you first befriend her and hang out, the characters all have trouble sort of connecting with her, but once they realize they are being way too obnoxiously formal/normal they start asking her about stuff she is interested in, which then she talks very excitedly about. Im sort of passively watching someone play persona 5 so i might have gotten something wrong but eee she is so coded to me <3 and not in a bad way imo ik sometimes things can be TOO stereotypical but yknow yknow"
"Struggles with social interactions, special interest in computers and video games, her English voice actor intentionally played her with the idea that she's autistic."
"She's obsessed with and so good with computers she was a world reknowned hacker before the story even began, she struggles with interacting with people and was bullied through out her entire childhood for being "weird" and being able to memorize books and other things. Her outfits almost always include her wearing headphones (which i personally hc to be to reduce sounds) and there are scenes where she experiences sensory overload that turns into panic attacks. A lot of her character arc is about how after a personal tragedy she completely isolated herself from the outside world and now shes trying to ease back into interacting with people with the support of her family and new friends. When trying to connect with her, the quickest way they got her to relax and open up was when one character got her talking about an in universe sentai show she loves. Also her English voice actor said in interviews that she performed Futaba with her being autistic in mind because everything abt her character just reads as autistic and seeing someone struggle w the same issues I did was super important to me when i got into p5."
"Futaba is incredibly autistic-coded. She couldn’t leave her room or speak to strangers due to trauma, but she also was “quirky” before the trauma. She’s a computer genius and can get so obsessed with her work that she doesn’t hear or acknowledge other people. She wears headphones almost all the time and sits with her knees up (odd posture). Lastly, her mother was known to also be “odd” and was also very absorbed in her work. Autism is often inherited, so my personal read is that both of them are autistic. I’m missing lots of things I’m sure but she’s the best."
"All of her interests are special <3, major social anxiety, partially nonverbal (just like me fr), one of the only people she's constantly jokingly mean to is also very autistic coded which idk if that's a me experience but i can only be joke mean to other autistic people. allistics wouldn't understand. She cannot sit properly!!! Very important she has that autistic ball sitting position"
"She’s a genius hacker nerd who up until certain events in the game never left her room or her house due to trauma. She’s gets nervous and overwhelmed very easily once she starts expanding her comfort zone, but she doesn’t let that stop her. At certain points when she has to interact with people she isn’t comfortable with she puts on a disturbing doll head mask. At one point she has a miniature meltdown in the middle of a crowded store, because she tried pushing her boundaries a little too fast and got overwhelmed until the protagonist was able to find her. She loves anime and collects figurines and gets annoyed when her display of them is messed with. Her personality is socially awkward and kind of bratty when she’s comfortable and I don’t mean that in a negative way at all, she’s great!"
"very bad with people, obsessed with programing and Nerd Shit, i love her and she is very cool"
"she has a massive special interest in technology, her entire character arc is helping her learn to socialize, she sits like a GREMLIN"
"she is a epic hacker gamer girl so we are within the margins for trans and autism, she has a hard time with eye contact, she has intense social anxiety and wahooooooo she has the special interests !! on a side note she has chronic fatigue so damn just like me fr!! and shes so fun!! ack!!!" End ID.]
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psycha-porp · 1 year
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Why I watch youtubers and streamers as an autistic person
Was hanging out on @monster-fluffer’s stream and they were chatting about some mcyts having certain neuro divergent traits and I thought I’d share something.
As most elder adults do, my parents have never understood why I would spend my time watching strangers play video games online. “You don’t know this person, they’re just.. playing a game?, what’s the fun in watching that?” Ect.
But after I got my autism diagnosis, my mum was watching a video over my shoulder. I don’t remember exactly who it was. And she said “I think a lot of the people you watch are probably autistic or neuro-diverse” and I think she's probably somewhat right
(And while obviously I’m not diagnosing anyone that hasn’t said they are, I do relate to a lot of traits)
And I thought about it for a second and realised that that’s a big part of why I enjoy this content! And have found comfort in YouTubers since school.
Because while I don’t know them. I ‘knew them’ more than I knew a lot of the people around me when I was younger.
I know how they express happiness, because it’s the same way I do! I know how they get super into something, because so do I! I know their struggles, and quirks. I know their humor.
And sometimes they’re awkward and say things that are a bit ‘odd’ but you know what- people laughed with them!! Thousands of people found them funny!!
And they have big groups of friends who like the same things! And they like each other, and have amazing dynamics!
And they are unapologetically themselves! And people like them.
So.. I guess for younger me watching someone who I felt connected to not only gave me a sort of ‘friend’ (not to be parasocial on main) but also meant there was hope that I would find people in my life who were like me and who would get me!
Any you know what, I have found those people. And if you’re reading this and haven’t yet - I promise they’re out there!
But I still find comfort in watching people like me because- I get them. And now, my mum gets me a little bit more too.
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Hotch headcanons except it’s probably going to mostly be regarding the tism
Hotch was diagnosed a lot later in life
He saw in Spencer’s file that he’s autistic, so he gave him the accommodations he needed but didn’t really think anything of it
By the time they’d worked together for a year or two, Hotch became very aware that Spencer was incredibly similar to the way Hotch was when he was Spencer’s age
Again, time passed and he didn’t think these two things were connected
That is until the team deals with a bomber, Hotch is a little too close to the blast of the unsub’s last hoorah, and he ends up in the hospital
Hotch wakes up and Spencer is in the room with him at the time
He quickly discovered that his injuries make it painful to walk, but pacing is way he reduces stress/ holds off meltdowns he doesn’t know are meltdowns
And so, Hotch has a meltdown but Spencer helps him through it
Later that day, when Hotch has had plenty of time to calm down, Spencer asked Hotch about considering if he was also autistic
That lead to the slow journey of Hotch discovering his being autistic and trying to be more comfortable in showing autistic traits as well as getting a diagnosis
It isn’t exactly a new concept that Hotch masks 24/7, even when he’s completely alone
All of his suits are from the same brands, and with the bit of extra weight of suit jacket, they’re super comfortable and familiar to him
Loosening his tie actually tends to make him more uncomfortable and uptight because how he expects his suit to feel is just slightly different
He likes to cook sometimes, but he’s absolutely atrocious at it
Even if he has a recipe, something often miraculously happens to go wrong
By the time he cooks whatever it was with Penelope, he’s definitely better, but that was right around the limit of his abilities to not mess it up
Penelope is also autistic, and he loves being in the same space as her
Outside of work-related things, his self esteem is a little lacking
A combination of an abusive father and undiagnosed autism definitely played a part in this
Penelope is one of the few people he feels like he can keep a fun conversation going with
Since he met Haley, he’s never not been amazed by how beautiful she is
Before Hotch became unit chief and got too sucked into his work, he’d call Haley when he woke up and when he got back to his hotel room
These were often very short because of the time difference, and some of Hotch’s fondest memories are talking to Haley for a minute or two each morning while she’s probably so close to just falling back asleep that she likely wouldn’t remember them
They were the sappiest couple you could possibly imagine
He joined the bau at 27 and was instantly dubbed the “silent killer” by Rossi because he was a pretty quiet person with horrifyingly good aim
In Ldsk, he showed off his shooting a little, but he would have been able to the same thing before he even joined the Seattle field office
He went hunting with his father a lot as a kid, and he just always had a knack for it
Jack is autistic and Hotch tries to do everything in his power to raise him how he wished he’d been raised, with support
Hotch tends to be more sensory seeking except for textures
Suede and corduroy are his least favorite of those he would predictably encounter again
He took a pottery class as a high school freshman, but dropped it after a week because the feeling of clay almost made him gag when he first touched it
His interoception is not good whatsoever
He lost a lot of weight in college because he didn’t realize that meal routines were very helpful to him, and he’d just forget to eat something for a day or two
When he was 24, there was about an hour until a trial was going to start and he passed out from dehydration
He’s really bad at telling when an injury is serious because of his sense of pain being out of whack, but he’d still keep going even if he did feel it correctly
Hotch is actually someone who feels more than he can handle about things, but it doesn’t really show outwardly
He loves hugs, and he’s very grateful that most of the team is his size so they can give hugs that have a good amount of strength in them
The only problem is that never in his life would Hotch have the courage to ask someone for a hug
Penelope often asks to hug him because she can just sense those types of things
He’s allergic to cats but he’s fully considering getting a sphinx cat
And also he has a strawberry allergy because I’ve seen it before and it just feels right
You could infer from both the show and what I said earlier, but Hotch hates hospital even if he does like the hospital smell
And that is my long list of things I’d like to believe are true about my guy
Edit: thank you so much for 100 notes guys!!
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culminada · 6 days
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scrolling autistic Tumblr and not relating to anything anymore.
Even though I know I'm autistic. It's all sensory sensitivity, anxiety, inability to be authentic, difficulties unmasking, experiencing ableism, unusual connection to animals (?), "stop saying autistic people have never had sex", etc.
Autistic people ARE more likely to be asexual, and I'm one of them! It feels invalidating when people complain abt other people's headcanons of autistic people never having had sex. I'm autistic and I've never had sex.
I was raised in an accepting home and homeschooled. I have never experienced someone invalidating my autism when I come out. I have never experienced someone not believing me about an autistic symptom. I have always been encouraged to be myself and express myself authentically. I don't struggle with anxiety. I feel like I can express myself authentically with my friends (autistic and neurotypical). I don't avoid social situations with them, in fact I seek them out.
I was a later teenager before I ever had to mask. I speedran 'learning to mask' in 3 years in a hostile environment (hostile meaning cliquish and normal (derogatory)) and now? Honestly it doesn't feel like masking anymore? It can be hard to initiate interaction with someone I don't know and I usually avoid it, but social cues? Just feels like learning another language. But I CAN learn it. It's a complex set of rules to be learned. I used to not be able to recognize people I'd talked to before. Now I can do it fine, no problem. I'm much better with names, too. Interaction with other autistic people feels easier, but it's still interaction.
With my neurotypical friends and family I'm very relaxed and I don't worry about masking unless it's an emotionally-charged situation (and even then, I DO want to show support and I know how, it just feels like translating what I want to communicate into a language that they'll understand and feel. It's an act of love and care for me, not a burden or smth I'm anxious about.) Social interaction doesn't cause me stress like it used to. (And how much of that was the cliquishness of the place I was at?)
And I'm not struggling to fit in a world that wasn't built for me. Neither I nor my family nor my culture expects me to get a job. The last time somebody asked if I was graduated yet or what grade I was in, and I tried to explain the convoluted mess for the umpteenth time, my mom just shrugged and casually declared me graduated. Ig I graduated in some random person's kitchen one Sunday afternoon. I'm not going to college and I don't need a job. I don't have to stress about half the things my autistic peers do.
I don't experience sensory sensitivity, like I've said.
I hyperfocus so hard I DONT notice all the little things; distracting sounds, etc. that even neurotypicals notice.
Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite of all the autistic symptoms.
What ARE my symptoms then?
Inability to start and stop tasks. Special interests. Stimming. Rigid thinking. Missing social cues. Lower empathy. Caffeine doesnt effect me. Hyposensitivity. Greater need of sleep.
And those symptoms are mild, too, in the sense that they don't impact my life a whole lot. Maybe I just have kind friends who don't mind the occasional missed social cue or oversharing? Executive dysfunction is the worst symptom (in the sense of negatively impacting my life), and maybe oversleeping compared to neurotypicals. Am I even autistic??
I don't know, AM I masking and don't realize it? Bc I definitely used to have major social trouble.
My friend who is autistic is very sure that I'm autistic, but idk if that's just because I can speak the autistic language easily? I remember before I knew I was autistic and she told me she was, and I mentally switched my script from 'normal people (derogatory)' to 'autistic person (yay, less complex!)'
At the time, I saw it as just another script. An easier one for sure, one I understood (even just from seeing posts online. There's just one rule: be straightforward. And maybe let her info dump sometimes. And be aware of potential sensory difficulties.). It felt more natural; like the way I always communicated at home. like I could stop masking.
But I don't have any scripts at all now. I don't mask. I just interact. I know how my autistic friend interacts. I know how my neurotypical friends interact. And I just DO! The interaction!
What do yall think? Is this masking?? Aaaaahcjskfjskfjd
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sprnklersplashes · 11 months
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god i absolutely agree about your take on asexual characters. it is a rare enough occurrence but even when we get asexual characters they never get treated with such appreciation as the characters they get to ship with someone. people are just so obsessed with sex, they never can see the connection there can be with platonic or even romantic relationships without any other intentions. it is so annoying, i just want to read something relatable but there's so little well written ace characters :(
no for real! and ace characters are held to a much higher standard than non-ace characters (ie. "this character didn't explicitly say they were ace/aro so it's not completely canon"/"this character being ace would be bad bc they're too young/gay coded/autistic coded/whatever"). i feel like ace/aro people are constantly fighting to protect what little representation they have because some people view canon ace/aro characters as an attack on their shipping liberties or something.
like idk being aroace in fandom can be so tiring sometimes.
on another note, if you're looking for good ace representation, I'll always recommend solitaire and loveless by alice oseman (the main character in solitaire isn't explicitly ace in the book but she's coded and alice has confirmed it), and every heart a doorway by seanan maguire. also radio silence by alice oseman has demisexual representation!!
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Okay now I'm gonna need you to tell me stuff about broken blessings - not the stuff that makes it into a wip intro! - just incidental stuff. Tell me about Weed the cuddlebug and especially about Sleepy, my namesake. There's also an Owl? Hello???
HI HI HI :D
This has been in my inbox for a little bit I wanted to put things together nicely-
I won't go into too much plot detail because I suspect this is going to be long anyway but what you need to know about Broken Blessings is that it's /almost/ am anthology of short stories, with story arcs being connected into one narrative while every character does bring their own styles and genre into the story, and parts where they interact are a combination of those styles - I'm having lots of format fun here, but all of this is to preface the wild tone jumps that introducing Weed, Sleepy and Agent Owl are going to be.
Agent Owl and Agent Falcon are a duo, a team, partners, legally married for undercover reasons in romantic love and haven't figured out what to call it yet, but hey, they're very autistic and having fun looking for aliens together.
Their story tone is extremely cartoony, they work for a purposefully vague Secret Agency for whom they are Secret Agents but in the same manner as play-pretend cowboys are related to actual real-life cowboys. They wear sunglasses and neat suits and talk in a dry fotmalistic way and never change their facial expression from neutral and due to a series of hijinks and wild coincidences they have never ever caught a real life alien despite being surrounded by supernatural at all times. Eventually they end up in a polyamorous relationship with a vaguely malevolent god (Dusty), which doesn't keep them from doing their jobs because hey, the agency didn't say anything about deities, it's extraterrestrials they have to be weary of. Agent Owl and Agent Falcon are similar in dress and expression but they have different appearances and personalities - Agent Falcon is slightly shorter, thin and white, and Agent Owl is slightly taller, plump and Black. Agent Falcon has a special interest in lizards and is good at pretending like she knows what she's doing, while Agent Owl has a special interest in languages and romantic comedy movies and is more booksmart. Agent Owl is also the more gentle of the two, kind of a gentle giant type. They have been working together for years and are very good at taking care of each other - Owl knows sign language which helps Falcon because although she can make out spoken language with her hearing aids it's taxing for her, and Agent Falcon can spot signs of Owl being overwhelmed and uncomfortable when no one else can on account of her not emoting visibly. They are very good at the partner thing however I have to stress how very, very bad they are at the special agents thing. I love them so much. They can healthily communicate their way out of any interpersonal difficulty and meanwhile a saucer would successfully land nearby to ask them for directions and fly off without them being none the wiser.
Sleepy is somewhat a Sleeping Beauty situation gone wrong - someone placed a curse on him on account of his father getting into a supernatural being's bad graces when he was young, however the curse went slightly wrong both because it's old and starting to grow thin and a few of the elements of it going wrong, like Sleepy transing his gender. His narration style is somewhat fairytale-esque which I love for him because he's the exact opposite of s typical fairytale princess in so many ways. His curse ended, a solid 50 years after it was placed, not on account of any true love intervention but because the person that placed it just. Died of old age. So now he's out of time, trying to re-adjust to life 50 years into the future, stuck with such side effects as being super sleepy all the time, insomnia, roses sometimes growing around him in his sleep, and chronic pain from the leg he broke badly in his dream that was never actually broken in real life - and that's the most important thing, his dreams. For all 50 years of being in his magic sleep he had a continuous vivid dream in which he was in a magic Kingdom, got to fight kings, save dragons, settle down and have a quiet family life all the way into his old age. And then he woke up, 25 again, and apparently all of that was a dream and now he has to do all of this life things all over again. He's understandably pretty done with all of this but he's distracting himself by taking care of a bookstore and a bunch of rambunctious traumatized teens. He's generally pretty chill and even-tempered but he's so so tired all of the time.
Weed, aka Sage Gallagher (he/they) (Weed is sort of his true secret name which is what some magic families with fair folk blood do, also what Crow calls him) needs cuddles Always. He was sort of forced into head of the family position at age 20 when Crow ran away from home and they had to act tough and play at being a scary ethereal Fae Lord but honestly they just want to not have to talk to many humans and grow mushrooms and maybe be a mycologist. They also feel very alone on account of their parents being missing and Crow having ran away from their not pleasant at all grandparents Without Taking Him so he's so glad he has Eddie at least. Eddie loves him quite unconditionally, they've been together since childhood and now officially Eddie is Lord Gallagher's bodyguard and unofficially he's their boyfriend and supplier of cuddles and the one person keeping the wet cat of a mushroom summoner relativity sane. Eddie has mild fire powers which makes him very, very good at warm cuddles. I haven't pinned down their narration style quite yet but it's a fun mix of noir and high fantasy. Yes all of these characters interacting and their narration styles mixing gives me life I am putting little guys in situations,
This had gotten super long so thank you for reading all of that! Have some pecrews:
Sleepy:
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Agent Falcon and agent Owl:
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Weed (left) and Eddie (right):
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eatzmoth · 1 year
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The Normal Album by Will Wood and what it means to me
hey just letting you know that this is a longish post ahead!! I hope you enjoy :D
Precursor- 
My autism always manifested in my weirdness. My parent's never quite knew I was autistic, especially due to the lack of research when I was growing up, so me being quirky or weird was just considered my personality. I would non-stop talk about things I was interested in and I often felt very immersive emotions. I talked in weird and eccentric ways- I even had to get speech therapy. Sometimes I was too hyper for them and sometimes I was also too loud (mostly for my dad who probably was also autistic) and I never really understood this. I didn't really get how to control my volume. My resistance to a change in schedule or being overwhelmed in environments were always chalked up to simply miss behaving, tiredness, stubbornness, or even just being easily scared because I was a child. These things never really left me, although as I reached middle school I started to mask as much as I could, including my emotions to the point I can't fully understand what I am feeling. I'm now a junior in highschool and i've been recently diagnosed as autistic. 
Even though in all regards my diagnosis is kind of early, I got diagnosed at 16 rather then when im 30 like some people, I still don't get any support. My school work is ok and I get good grades, but that doesn't take into consideration what my actual needs are. This is all my school pays attention to and when I suggest getting some accommodations i'm always the one expected to suggest specifi. ones and "see if it works." This doesn't help me since I don't exactly know what would help me. Additionally, when I talk to my therapist about it she's usually unfamiliar with terms I use and she gives me room to vent rather then give me advice on how to unmask (she sees masking as a really good skill and it is but she never addresses how it can be very harmful to me). Any efforts to unmask, to sit down and allow myself to process what I feel (not only am I learning new concepts like overstimulation and my relationship to them, im also working through possible alexithymia), feel like im rediscovering part of myself and uncover my true self. Sometimes this feels like a blessing, sometimes it makes me feel hopeless, and sometimes it makes me feel- for the lack of a better word- insane. I constantly double guess myself and wonder if im making it up, even though I got professionally diagnosed! 
The Normal Album-
Last year I discovered Will Wood and The Tapeworms. Their whole discography is just fantastical and I suggest listening to them and Will Wood's solo career, but I especially felt a connection to The Normal Album by Will Wood. The Normal Album is about deviating from the norm- whether that be regarding gender or being neurodivergent, and how that effects your relationship with others. Both things I relate to considering im genderqueer and autistic. This album helps me not only express my feelings but also helps me feel seen. It encompasses my whole feeling about who I am. I feel like I need to hide and alter certain parts of myself- but I also really don't wan't to and i'm starting to let go of that feeling. I'm trying to accept myself and be who I am but i'm still worried about how this will affect my relations, and I wish people were more accepting. It matches the mood swings I experience since I can't regulate my emotions easily (other then just completely going numb). It also especially matches the feeling that this all being fabricated and maybe im just imaging it all.
Out of all the songs I mostly resonate with 2econd 2night 2eer, I/Me/Myself, ...well, better than the alternative, and Love, Me Normally.
I was originally going to go through the songs that I resonate to the most but that still would have been too much and the whole album is important to me so GO LISTEN TO THE NORMAL ALBUM ITS WORTH IT!! 
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hello! i absolutely adore your writing style- you are so talented. i think i read your community fanfictions??? although I not so sure If that really was you lmao -- I wanted to ask you if you could maybe write more about autistic! penelope? if not that's totally fine too. I just really like how I just "get" your spencer - I really can relate to it i mean - and I would love to read more about penelope since she is my favorite in cm!! (and also penelope centric ff are really rare????) maybe something like how everybody in the team slowly "found out" or her and her favorite stims idk im not creative lmao!! anyways this was just an idea? request? -- since I do really really enjoy ur writing-- I hope u have a great day!! xx
thank you! i have written a lot of community fic, so that was probably me, haha :) :)
here is some autistic penelope for you...
---
Penelope is in her office when Emily comes in without knocking. 
“Garcia, where did you go?” she asks. “You haven’t been answering your video calls. We need you on this case. What’s going on?”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Penelope says desperately. The monitors in front of her have been turned off. “I just– I needed a minute.”
Emily softens. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Penelope flaps her hands lightly in front of her. “I just, there was so much going on in that last video we watched, it was so– so horrible and brutal and I got overwhelmed.”
“Is that why your computer is off?”
“It’s not my computer, it’s just my monitor. I’ll turn it back on in a second, I swear…”
“I guess I didn’t realize things like this affected you so much.”
“It’s hyperempathy,” Penelope explains. “I feel too much sometimes, and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s, ah… it’s a symptom of my autism.”
“Pen, I didn’t know.”
“Now you do.”
-
The video call connects quicker than Penelope anticipates, and she’s suddenly greeted by a screen full of JJ’s face.
“What’s that in your mouth?” JJ asks, scrunching her nose.
Penelope lets the silicone cookie pendant drop from her jaw, eyes wide.
“You weren’t supposed to see that,” she says quickly.
“Wasn’t supposed to see what?”
Penelope runs her fingers through her hair a few times, then tugs on the ends with her fingers.
“You weren’t supposed to know that my necklaces are chewable,” she explains. 
“Why are they chewable?”
“They’re for stimming,” Penelope tells her. “You know, for– it’s sort of a neurodivergent thing. An autism thing. I’m autistic.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You’re going to sanitize that thing, right?”
Penelope laughs. “Yes, absolutely,” she promises.
-
“Hey, mama,” Morgan answers the phone. “What do you got for me?”
Instead of a quip or some flirty innuendo, a sob comes over the line.
“Penelope?” Morgan says quickly, the smile leaving his face. “What’s wrong?”
She sobs again, but no words come out, and Morgan has already started walking down the hall to her office. When he gets through the door, she takes two steps towards him and then collapses into his arms, shaking. The lights in her office are off, the monitors dim except for one, which has Spotify pulled up, but no music playing.
“Baby girl, did something happen?”
She shakes her head but doesn’t let go of him, squeezing him tighter and tighter until he takes the hint and squeezes back. Almost immediately, he feels her relax against him.
Penelope pulls back and steps back over to her computer, where she turns on a playlist, and the music fills her office. She grabs a bunny figurine from her desk and squeezes it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Morgan asks.
Penelope picks up her phone, and a moment later Morgan’s vibrates.
Can’t talk right now.
Morgan frowns. His phone vibrates again.
Can you just sit with me? I’ll explain later.
“Sure thing, baby girl.”
-
“Hey, Garcia, have you got any updates?” Rossi asks. 
“Have you got any updates?” Garcia repeats without thinking about it. “Yeah, I’ve got the suspects bank records right here…”
They get back to work, and no one says anything – but Rossi is confused. He’s only been working with Penelope for a few weeks at that point, and she’s still a mystery to him.
It happens again a few days later.
“Is there any more coffee in the kitchen?” Morgan asks the group.
“Coffee in the kitchen?” Garcia repeats.
“Yeah, I just opened a new bag,” Reid adds.
Rossi is confused, but doesn’t say anything until later that day when he’s alone with Garcia in her office.
“Hey,” he says. “I noticed that sometimes you tend to… repeat the things people are saying after they say them. Why do you do that?”
Penelope blushes bright red.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “It must seem really weird if you haven’t been around me much. I do it a lot – it’s called echolalia. It’s common among people who are autistic.”
“And you’re autistic?”
“I am.”
“Okay,” Rossi says. “Thanks for explaining it to me.”
-
“Hi, I’m Penelope Garcia,” she introduces herself, holding out a hand.
“I’m Spencer Reid,” her new coworker replies. “I, uh, don’t shake hands.”
“Cool,” Penelope replies. “Nice to meet you.”
She catches him spinning in his chair later that afternoon, and tapping on his desk with his fingers in patterns whenever he’s not actively writing or doing something else with them. 
Over the next few days, she notices that he gets his coffee at exactly the same times every single day, and he often whispers under his breath before speaking, and he’s got a drawer full of fidget toys in his desk.
“Are you autistic?” she blurts out when he’s in her office one afternoon, then slaps her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she says. “That was inappropriate, I think.”
“You’re fine,” Spencer says with a small smile. “Yes, I am. You too?”
“How could you tell?”
He shrugs. “I wasn’t sure until you asked me just now. It takes one to know one, I guess.”
“I guess,” Penelope laughs.
“Anyway, welcome to the BAU,” he says. “It’s nice to have someone on the team who gets it.”
“It is, isn’t it,” Penelope says with a smile. “I’m happy to be here, and I’m happy you’re here too.”
-
On Penelope’s first day of work, Hotch takes her aside and leads her into his office, closing the door behind them.
“I’ve got the information from your resume,” he says, “as well as your arrest file. But I want to know if there’s anything else you’d like to tell me about yourself before you officially begin as our technical analyst.
“Like what?”
“Anything. If you have any allergies. If you have any disabilities that might require accommodation. If you have any unique talents or challenges we haven’t discussed. Anything about yourself that you’d like me to know or like to have on file.”
Penelope hesitates, debating back and forth whether she wants to disclose such a private piece of herself. On one hand, she doesn’t trust these people. On the other, she does trust Hotch, who kept her out of prison – and to be honest, she could use the accommodations.
“I’m autistic,” she finally says. “I can bring you proof of my diagnosis if you need it.”
“That would be great,” Hotch replies. “Let’s discuss what kind of accommodations we can get going for you.”
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falderaletcetera · 1 year
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every now and then I think about trying to Do Fandom again but then I spend half an hour doing chores and thinking about, for instance, one specific episode [5.02] of Father Brown, realising that the reason the arranged marriage feels like it works in the end (other than both parties clearly choosing it) is that it isn't just the guy's younger brother who's autistic, but his bride-to-be probably is too.
the first time he shows any real interest in joan as a person, not just civility or this low key sucks for both of us so I'm gonna give you as much freedom as I can ("an heir and a spare and you can do your own thing, if you get my drift"), it's when he asks her a question about mathematics and gets her talking - not really understanding it but telling her, afterwards, he'd like to hear more about it sometime.
looking at him a bit closer, I actually like his character more than I expected. he's not a proper young man of his station, he's taken his family's reputation down a few notches through what we can assume is (tactfully put) a fondness for partying, and I'd generally expect a character like that to treat women pretty poorly, except robert seems to be better than that. then there's the toy cavalry soldier he carries as a good luck charm, a major general from his brother's toy set who shares robert's name - because it's something his brother loves, and maybe a way the two of them connect.
and robert's stuck awkwardly chatting to this woman who he's meant to marry but doesn't really know. someone who doesn't always look people in the eyes; who doesn't quite seem to know how to interact with him; who talks algorithms and graph theory and is fascinated with mazes.
this is a guy who, reading between the lines of he loves his brother and he carries around a little soldier figurine is someone who speaks "listening to you infodump" and "sharing your special interest" as love languages. and later when it looks like the engagement's not going to happen, he quietly mentions that he was just starting to like her.
I like to think that his moment walking side by side with her, listening as she talked with intelligence and real confidence, was a bit of an oh moment for him. a bit "this is someone I can relate to", a bit "this is someone I can like". and him showing respect and genuine interest, even after she stopped herself and apologised, probably helped her begin to like him too. not love for either of them, not yet, but the beginnings of something good.
and joan asking to meet his brother, getting to know him a little and asking arthur if he wants to live with them both rather than staying hidden away, brings it full circle in a pretty satisfying way.
(and that is more analysis, perhaps, than the episode calls for.)
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kimmimaru · 8 months
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I now try to avoid any and all stuff relating to parents of autistic kids. Now, technically I am a parent to an autistic kid (not yet diagnosed but will be soon) but I am also autistic myself. But I don’t understand why there are so many parents out there who’s posts on autistic social media are always: my kids autistic, it’s so hard for ME. You don’t know what I have to go through...etc etc.  ...Yeah, parenting is hard. Not even neurotypical kids are fucking easy ffs. But they complain all the time about how their kids are having constant meltdowns (which they call tantrums) and I’m like, then do something to HELP them? It would make everyone's lives so much better if you put in a little effort to find out the cause, trust me. My daughter spent weeks before school freaking out whenever she put her shoes on in the morning. Was it frustrating? yeah. Of course it was, we had to get to school. But you know what I did? Found out that the seams in her socks were making her shoes feel weird and so I got her seamless socks. Problem solved. No more before school meltdowns. Trust me, love, they aren’t doing it for shits and giggles. It’s not hard to just fucking listen to what your kids are trying to tell you. Get over yourselves. What REALLY fucks me off though are the parents who whinge because ‘my child doesn’t love me because they don’t want hugs!’ Oh fuck right off. I hate hugs 90% of the time (the exception, for some reason, is my daughter), they make me feel sick, panicky and uncomfortable. I do hug my family and friends sometimes but I have to be in the right mood for it. Most of the time this is respected. But like, guaranteed, even your non-verbal autistic kid is showing you they love you, you’re just not recognising it because it doesn’t fit into you’re neurotypical idea of what love ‘should’ look like. You know how to connect with your autistic kid? Step into their world. Find out what their interests are and involve yourself in them, play in the same way they do. Join them in stimming even, it’s fun. Flap your hands around, trust me, it’s very freeing. If they like dancing, dance with them. It’s really, really not that hard. Example: my kid likes to play the sims. So we play together. She likes youtube videos of people playing roblox and minecraft, so I talk to her about it. My child is verbal (most of the time, she does go non-verbal in stressful situations) but like, if your kid doesn’t/can’t speak, all you have to do is watch them for a while to find out what they enjoy doing and then just sit and do it with them. Bonding doesn’t always mean talking or physical touch. Just sitting side by side and doing a task or activity can be bonding too. Sorry, I needed to rant. I’ve been seeing way too much of this bullshit lately. It’s exhausting.
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