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savannahsdeath · 4 months

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thinking about dealer!ellie, but not the college-little one . . . one, that an innocent girl like you sees on a dark alley and she can't help but instinctively start walking faster. yet, it turns out, she's really a sweetheart when you give her a chance <3

warnings: daddy issues kinda ?? ellie can seem creepy at first but i swear she's not .. thats all for now

you explored the darkest part of the city, the moonlight not brightening your way at all. you felt lost.

you always defined yourself as fatherless, it was the easiest way to explain the lack of a parent — people thought he died and didn't pursue the topic. after some time passed, you started believing your own lie. deep down, in a strangled part of your brain, you knew he's alive and well. but on the other hand, he wasn't — not for you, not in your life. why would he matter?

until he contacted you. he didn't show up in person, what at first made you think that he's... well, a pussy. but you soon realised it's actually analytical and mindful of him. you could act on impulse, say or do something bad. seeing him for the first time won't be easy. he gave you some time to think, so your emotions didn't get between both of you, and couldn't ruin your relationship from the beginning.

but he could at least leave you his phone number instead of the most complicated address, consisting of, not to be dramatic but, like a hundred numbers.

"can i help you?" you heard a feminine, yet hard and raspy voice.

the unforeseen sound made you jump, your heart beating like a little bird trapped in a cage, trying to get out of your chest. you couldn't let her notice how scared you were, though. you crumpled the letter in your sweaty hand. the yellowish paper felt humid, probably soaking wet from your moist skin.

"i don't think so." your voice trembled with the first vowel but you managed to regain your unbothered, callous posture right after.

"this..." she gestured at the ground and area around you — dark buildings that looked empty, yet you felt watched, in plain sight. "this is a bad place for girls like you."

you nervously cleared your throat, deciding to ignore her opinion, and continued on walking. but you could still hear her echoing footsteps.

"i think that— you shouldn't be there. and you don't want to be there." she crossed her arms.

once you gave up and turned around, you were left surprised by how pretty she was. your expectations were— well, on a way lower level. she looked masculine and you could see the curves of her muscles through her clothes, yet you weren't feeling precarious nor apprehensive by her presence anymore.

"actually," she continued, "i know that. it's painted all over your face. one glance in your direction and i already sense the discomfort."

you sharply inhaled, the air hissing in your nostrils as you mumbled an annoyed "god" under your breath. "are you always like that?"

"no." she shook her head and pursed her lips in a thin line, before realising what you meant and chuckling. "not at all. but you should be fuckin' thankful." she untangled her arms and shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "c'mon, what are you looking for?"

you pinched your nose bridge and closed your eyes with a huff, because why did she have to be so damn persistent and perpetual? but she seemed able to help you, so in a slightly complaining—dissenting tone you murmured your father's name.

and her stubborn smirk faded, her gaze shifted between you and the letter in your hand. "who are you?" she asked, emphasizing each syllable, as if she was talking to a child.

you were dubious and skeptical on what you should say nor should you admit the truth, you just shrugged. a hesitant, mistrustful raise of your shoulders, which even deepened the girl's frown, knitting her eyebrows together. "i dunno..."

"you can't be a sluuu— sorry, a prostitute" she thought aloud, actually considering this option.

"why?" your expression glowered as you scowled. oh, so your father is associated with call girls, how nice! "don't answer. whatever. just— take me to him."

"i can't." she defensively raised her hands. "you could be a... fuck, i don't know, a spy or something!"

"don't be stupid" you scoffed and couldn't help but roll your eyes. "i'm his daughter."

she gulped and her eyes widened. "daughter?..."

✧˖°

PART 2 IS OUT !!

#tlou ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #ellie #ellie x you #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams x female reader

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ghost-proofbaby · 12 days

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I would love a Getting to Know Eddie with your coffee shop blues Eddie. (I’ll let Abi ask for Maroon). 😘

(oh i don’t think i could tell abi much more about maroon eddie than i already have. the space under my desk when im writing maroon literally has her name on it <3)

alright. so. COFFEE SHOP BLUES EDDIE. first and foremost, that eddie is from my purely self indulgent barista!au for those of you who don’t know. for legal reasons, it’s totally not based on true experiences or a very real company. totally not. for legal reasons. but, the entire premise is this eddie entirely untouched from the upside down — non-canon compliance so we can be happy for once baby ! — and just playing around with who he is without all that. he gets the job as a barista, he’s a damn pessimist, and- well, i liked to play around with what would happen if he was the grumpiest barista to ever exist and got reality checked by a sunshine-incarnate barista. and, spoiler alert, the boy would probably melt. he does melt.

my inspiration is drawn entirely from uh… well… can i have a lawyer if i admit this? nah im just kidding he’s based on my own experiences! and contrary to what plenty of people have said to me (if i had a nickel every time said they imagine me as reader i’d be far richer than i am which makes me so 😭), eddie is the character based around me. i think he’d react very similarly to how i do most of the time at work. being grumpy, being so easily inconvenienced by every small thing, always huffing and puffing and wanting to be better. and i think reader is what i’d like to be. at the end of the day, it’s just a nice way to romanticize life, i guess. <3

my favorite headcanon that i’ve never shared in the story is that everyone actually finds that he’s very good at his job. it’s emphasized he isn’t necessarily friends with the other baristas, and there’s a whole lot of him internally comparing himself to the people he thinks do the job better (*cough* reader *cough*), but that whole “i can do better. i have to do better” mentality has led him to being quite good at the job actually. he puts himself down, says he isn’t that good, etc. but he is. customers like that feline grumpiness (the girls that come in regularly for frappucinos in the afternoon are always secretly hoping he’s there, definitely living their ‘i can fix him’ fantasy despite reader already having set sail on that boat), his coworkers admire him albeit they get a lil scared of him due to resting bitch face, and all that. he makes a mean fucking cappuccino. his drinks always just taste better. he’s just good. he’ll never admit it, but damn is he good at his job.

on a casual day, this man is living in comfy clothes. big band tees, plaid pajama pants or sweats. the only time he puts on jeans these days is when he works. which, i mean, listen — he works often. he lives his days by what shift he has, not by days of the week. weekends are nonexistent to him. he’s earned some damn comfort when he’s just at home, ya know? (also, most of his clothes that aren’t graphic tees or comfy pants just stink of coffee these days. ugh.)

his favorite food is probably the cake pops at work. he’s a sweet tooth fiend with them. someone accidentally breaks one when opening the packages? oh no !! he’ll take that off their hands. all of his free food mark outs? 50% cake pops. he’s on food? he’s definitely accidentally bagging and slipping one or two off to the side for himself. sometimes coworkers will try to convince him when he’s on the food position to slip them a free cake pop as well, and every time, he’s flipping them the bird and a quick “steal on your own time, bud”. (unless it’s reader. unless it’s sunshine. then, he’s caving, handing over the birthday cake pop he just marked out for himself without second thought. even if he rolls his eyes as he does it — he’d give her the world if she just asked).

his family situation is pretty close to canon — wayne. and obviously he has hellfire, he has corroded coffin, but all of those are just… small things. he’s finally graduated in this universe, so hellfire doesn’t meet as often. corroded coffin’s members are still in their senior year, so sometimes studying for a calculus test is overriding band practice for them. which i mean, was a bummer and led to him needing a distraction like a part time job (also — money) but it’s all good now, cause he gets to bug Sunshine on his days off when he’s bored. they’ve definitely exchanged numbers, and they’re definitely sending each other an obligatory dumb meme a day. sorry, i don’t make the rules.

he likes pop music. don’t ever ask him about it, he denies it, but Sunshine got him into all those radio hits. he’ll find himself humming along to the radio at work constantly too. and, the one time he and Sunshine worked a very rare, LITERALLY only happened once close together, they definitely were belting out britney spears’ “hit me baby one more time”, dancing around the closed stores and eddie using the mop as a mic while Sunshine tried to stock up all the cups. the shift on duty was unamused, to say the least.

he’s pretty pessimistic in all avenues, but there’s something deep inside of him that’s just a bit hopeless romantic. especially after meeting Sunshine. he listens to her prattle about her romance books all day, and he hates the fact that he finds himself smiling at some of those different scenarios she’s gushing about. but it’s cute, okay? besides, it’s only giving him more ideas about how to wow his favorite barista. sex, on the other hand, he’s still pretty bland on. he’s had one or two one night stands, names he’s forgotten at the Hideout after shows, and he’s not really got the energy to be some sex-crazed fuckboy. listening to his coworkers’ hookup stories and relationship problems work pretty well to remind him he could be doing far worse (but if anyone were to ask him what he thought of Sunshine in that context? oh. oh the poor boy. the scary dog facade fades, and his ears have never been pinker as he’s stuttering about having to grab something from the back that he just stocked. he’s just grateful she never seems to have her own escapades to talk about — he probably wouldn’t survive the world-ending jealousy that would cloud his vision.)

pessimistic. so so pessimistic.

a couple months ago, he would have said his room. alone. or practicing with cc, on his guitar. or behind his dm screens, watching as his little sheep panicked over the latest twist he’s revealed for his current campaign.

but now? maybe he’s just gone soft, but the first place he thinks of is a rainy afternoon in the back of his van, his head in Sunshine’s lap as they listen to the slight drizzle bounce off the roof. he swears if he closes his eyes, he can still feel her fingers against his scalp.

---

JO. JO. I DON'T HAVE THE ORIGINAL POST FOR THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPH IS ANSWERING WHAT PROMPTS. but honestly, even now that i'm free of the siren, i wanna post this. i love prattling on about our little grumpy barista. i luv him.

#tumblr keeping THIS ONE in drafts has to be grounds for fighting right?#like?#it's BARISTA EDDIE #how dare this not post? or maybe i wasn't done answering??? i don't even know anymore #thank u ily <3 #jo <3 #coffee shop blues #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #still laughing at the way i insert the under the desk joke any time i can

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swirlysmile · 2 years

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I haven’t seen many Bob fics on here, but I have read your Hangman fics and *holy heck* are they good!

I’m kind of thinking a fic where Bob is jealous because Hangman keeps flirting with the reader, and he gets bold and interjects to tell Hangman that she is his and only his.

Most fics portray Bob as soft, but it would be cool to see a different side of him where he stands up for himself and his girl!

yessiree! thanks for the request anon! also, i’m really glad you enjoy my fics. that makes me feel really accomplished :)

word count: 510

warnings; none?

Back Off

The Hard Deck was lively tonight, but when is it not? Saturday nights, or even Friday nights, and Penny is feeling it hard. It’s like a revolving door of drunken pilots.

Your group, however, stands in the corner by both the jukebox, darts, and ever-so popular pool table, like usual. Penny would be scared to see anybody but you hanging out over there.

“Another one!”

“That’s three for three, baby.”

Hangman, Coyote, Phoenix, Bob, Rooster, Payback, Fanboy, and you. Hangman is playing darts with Coyote and laughing at nothing. Rooster and Phoenix are talking by the jukebox, and Payback and Fanboy are trash talking each other in a game of pool while you talk to your tired boyfriend.

“Rooster’s been complaining about Maverick on base, as if he’s like, forgetting, I'm there.”

“What did Mav ever do to him?”

“To hell if I know. Phoenix says she doesn’t have a clue.” He groans, taking a sip of the drink he didn’t spill.

“Oh, so Phoenix is the source of all your gossip?”

“Hangman says I’m pretty stealthy myself, I hear a lot.” He grins proudly.

“I wouldn’t trust Hangman, with anything, if I were you,” You tease, emphasizing your words.

Bob rolls his eyes with a cheeky grin. The pilots begin to regroup, Hangman grabbing a cue out of Fanboy’s hands. Phoenix takes the other one, a little more gracefully, from Payback. Fanboy groans and lightly punches Hangman’s arm, in a display of affection.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Hangman says, gawking at you and Bob, sporting a newly spilled drink in the nether regions.

“Been here the whole time, Bagman.”

He lines up the cue to break the balls.

“How ‘bout I buy you a beer, sweetheart.”

“I’m honored, Hangman!” Bob says, and Rooster is trying his hardest not to laugh.

Hangman sends a glare over his shoulder. “Well Bobby-boy, I’d love to buy you a drink sometime, but I was referring to the lady.” He says, acting as if he doesn’t know you, doesn’t know that you are dating Bob.

“Back off, Hangman.” Bob suggests before you take the lead.

“You’re my co-worker, Seresin. That’s not very professional.”

“You seem to have no problem letting the baby on board buy you drinks.”

You flip him off, and Bob is seething. Sure, Hangman has flirted with you before. You’re always quick to blow him off, but he’s being much more direct than he ever has been, the audacity.

“She’s not yours to toy around with, Hangman. Go find another girl to bore and leave mine alone.” Bob says, and it actually sounds a little menacing with the scowl he’s sporting.

“Alright, alright. Cool down, Bobby-boy.” Hangman says, laughing it off. You can tell he’s a little bit embarrassed though.

“Darts?” He asks Coyote, who is quick to agree.

“I would pay to see that again.” Phoenix grins, going to high five Bob. Everyone else quickly follows, and he actually feels a little proud.

What makes him feel most accomplished though is the smile you give him afterwards.

#bob x reader #bob floyd x reader #robert floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x reader #robert ‘bob’ floyd x reader #bob #bob floyd #robert floyd #robert bob floyd #robert ‘bob’ floyd #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun fic #top gun maverick fic #top gun? more like top fun #me not knowing how to write bob:#this is what happened bc i’m expirementing #swirly writes #swirly anon

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astrum-aetherium · 10 months

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Could you elaborate more on Camilla? It's for... research purposes, an innocent research and without second or third intentions.

all too gladly — like other TSH figures, she is extremely complex and therefore interesting to dissect. i don't know how much time you have, which is why i will offer you a mere general overview of my opinions on her character. once again, sensically — tw for incest. goes without saying when it comes to her, unfortunately.

i appreciate her as a character and likewise sympathize with her greatly. in my eyes, she is an unfairly dismissed longtime victim of incest who has settled into that cycle of abuse so deeply that the reveal thereof doesn't even shock most readers — i've seen far too many people admitting it "made sense" or "was expected" for charles and camilla to be romantically involved with one another, which we can only owe to ms tartt herself, who strangely saw to that with striking intricacy via her writing. why — i may never know. dark academia, flawed characters, we're not supposed to like them, elitism, wealth — i know, i know, i know. it's still so utterly strange to me.

in addition, as the only woman in a close-knit circle of men (who are already far too privileged for their own good, predominantly heteronormative, and outspoken creatures of their time — specifically bunny), she is obviously the only one being gone after by nearly everyone. henry, her own brother, richard, even francis (on a singular occasion, but didn't he say she was the only one he ever questioned his sexuality over?), and possibly bunny, had he not been in a relationship and scared shitless of henry toward the end? plus, she is portrayed to be an indirect catalyst for the final traumatic event in the book due to being involved with both charles and henry. now, i do not attribute any fault to her, as she certainly has her own reasons to still be in that position (listed below), and what charles and henry did is their own fault and therefore between the two of them only. never blame a woman for a disagreement sparked between men, even if she was indirectly involved.

because of this depiction, i would even go as far as labeling her a "manic pixie dream girl", especially because she is described as so ambivalent and enigmatic in the novel. it truly seems to me that there are very few consistent characterization points in regard to her in the book. it's always either — oh, she is so clever and beautiful, so divine, and she amuses us all, and she is the mediator; or, oh, she is so secretive and has a palpable air of mystery, and must be hiding so much behind that pretty face and sad eyes. very manic-pixie-dream-girlish, if you ask me — but we know whose fault it is (hint: she was born on december 23rd). and yes, she does entertain the attention of most of the men interested in her, but then again, i elaborated on this matter in my post regarding her relationship with henry: i am fully convinced that she is not attracted to men whatsoever, neither romantically nor sexually, and engaging some of them is just a trauma response to partaking in incestuous activity and finding herself in an environment predominantly defined by men. i have a feeling that internally, she's longing to break free from all of it in whichever way possible, and she deserves to.

there's just no justification for not feeling bad for her in this case. camilla is done so dirty by the author of TSH in the way that she is misportrayed, it ails me. she constantly finds herself being objectified and disregarded, recognized and emphasized not for her academic skills and knowledge, but for the fact she is a beautiful, mystifying woman in a circle of intelligent, preposterously pretentious men. annoyingly, she is some sort of "feminine relief", the concept whereof outright vexes me. honestly — the way richard speaks of her sometimes (and yes, i know, it's meant to be like that, as he's an unreliable narrator and a young hormonal man on top of that, but nevertheless) is just outrageous. she is a victim of incest trapped in a position where she cannot communicate with anyone but her abuser and his male friends. is it ever mentioned that she entertains female acquaintances? i cannot recall, and that should be sufficient proof. the confinement she must feel, both in her interpersonal position and in her femininity, must be insane. she deserves so much more.

i want her to leave most of them behind, specifically those who have never seen her as anything other than an object of desire — even charles (who has fled anyway!) — and move somewhere to the warm south into a remote country cottage with a gorgeous, gigantic garden which she would tend to daily, and drive out into the city every now and again for groceries and bookstore strolls. a miss honey type, you know? hell, she could have a wife. a cat or a dog. horses or cattle, even. as far as i'm concerned, she could even see francis on occasion for a paired vacation or a lunch date here and there. i feel like they have the best shot at developing the healthiest bond, despite their shared trauma.

all in all, i think it's obvious that i have the biggest soft spot for her and am therefore convinced that she deserves nothing but the best. she was done quite dirty by ms tartt, and all the characters she ever shared a space with. i only sleep soundly at night knowing that she is very much fictional.

#astrum asks #camilla macaulay #the secret history #donna tartt #dark academia #henry winter #charles macaulay #richard papen #sort of a character analysis but barely #just my thoughts on camilla #she deserves better #grrrrr

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munv · 7 months

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𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗜 𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗔 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘?

guess who just made a blue lock book on wattpad. ME!! A/N: regarding the hip hop event it will be a bit later than expected but it is still sure to come!

𝗧𝗵𝗲 sound of screeching invaded your ears for the past minute, and riko was stuck to your side like glue. Everyone was worried, I mean, who wouldn't be? Not only did gojo get stabbed but considering how that man figured out how to enter jujutsu high's barrier it was already a major red flag.

There was a ding and you all exited the elevator once the entrance came into view. hand in hand with riko you could feel just how jittery she really was about it. Without thinking, as if, on instinct, you gave her a comforting squeeze, and she held tighter in response. "riko-sama, y/n-sama" you both turned around. "this is as far as I go" she bowed. "please.." she stood upright. "please.." tears were in her eyes with a trembling lip. Riko looked over to you and you nodded in response, letting go of her hand and allowing her to hug kuroi for the last time. "kuroi..I love you..I have..and always will!" she cried.

Geto looked at you with a frown and put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you put your very own on his hand and held on to it.

The only sound that was present was the sound of your footsteps. Every step you took, was one closer to swallowing you whole with guilt. Walking through the light at the end of the hallway, the three of you were in awe.

"so this is.."

"we're in tengen-sama's territory now.." he continued. "this is the foundation of the main keys. Along with the main hall of the tomb of the star." Riko held on to you even tighter, afraid if she let go you would disappear. While geto was talking, her eyes landed on you. 'such pretty eyes', she thought. A shame it would be her last time seeing them. "Tengen-sama will protect you until the assimilation." he continued "that or.."

You turned to look at him, 'or?..'

"we can turn back around and go home."

Your eyes widened, and you could see the spark in riko's eyes come back in an instant. You both looked at him as if he was the most interesting thing in the world. "our teacher told us about this mission, but he mentioned it as "erasing". The black-haired male continued to look forward. "He was trying to tell us just how heavy of a sin that was, he could but a muscle head but he does things in a roundabout way." You let out a light chuckle at this. "he's right, yaga-san is a softie at heart." you smiled.

"We already talked it over before we met you" he smiled turning to you both.

You three were walking down the path on your way to the apartment riko was with you leading. The scene of greenery surrounded you and the wind was slightly moving your hair in your face. The sound of gojo playing with change invaded your ears. He cut off the silence with a question.

"what if the brat refuses to assimilate?" You turned to him "then..the assimilations off!" you emphasized with your hands in an explosion-like manner. Gojo brightened at your silliness. "right!" he quickly put you in a playful headlock. "hey! let go of me you BASTARD!" you wiggled around in his hold in an attempt to get him off.

Geto laughed a bit at your antics, "are you two really sure about that?" he put his hands back into his pocket.

"huh?" he continued "it might mean fighting tegen-sama, you know."

you managed to get out of the headlock gojo put you in and jump on his back in retaliation "what, you two scared?"

"It'll be fine, since we're the strongest." he gave you two a small smile

He held out his hand as riko teared up, you wiped a bit of her tears for her in a comforting manner "we'll guarantee your future riko, take his hand." you upheld both of her hands with your own and clasped them together. "together"

"let's all be happy riko" she looked up at you, the same sibling that worked hard every day to make sure she was fed and safe. The same one that always held her hand in fear of danger. The only one she truly made a promise with, to stay side by side until the end.

"I..I really want to go to all kinds of places with everyone!" she admitted

this was wrong

"I want to see a bunch of things! to eat different foods, all of it!"

something was amiss, that hungry gaze was watching you again, somewhere you could feel it

"honestly.." she lowered her head

whatever it was, it was close, something reeked of blood

"I want more time to be with everyone longer!"

footesteps

You turned around to the way you three just entered,

"I really love everyone!"

He held out his hand for her to take, "let's go home

protect her.

riko-chan."

"RIKO-" a gunshot..it was a gunshot all along.

You quickly fell to the floor and your vision turned blurry, and lightheaded. What just happened?

YOU. were the target, all along.

Everything happened so fast, yet your body had come to accept the fact that you were dying in an instant. The constant ringing and yelling of your name was a reminder of the harsh reality you've been subjected to.

" AME-" "ear- me?" You could only slowly make out the sounds before drifting off into a complete slumber. It felt as if your body was floating without any consequences, you were at peace.

Once you opened your eyes you were in a field of flowers, the only sound was the wind blowing and the grass rustling; a small tug came at your white dress and you were forced to look down, only to see a small child. They looked no older than 5. "where am I?"

She only looked at you before responding with a cheery soft smile, "a domain!" She reached up for you which you concluded could only mean she wanted to be picked up. Giving in to her wishes you picked her up from her waist and sat her snuggly in your arms before sitting down with her on your lap. "a domain? aren't I.." you hesitated on mentioning the presence of death in front of a child who seemed so innocent. That's when you realized the child had the same features as you, just golden like eyes.

She noticed you glancing over her figure before answering "I'm you! just..hm.." she put her finger up and held a thinking position in your lap before facing you "just the better version!"

You sweatdropped at her antics, "well..that's one way to certainly put it.." with a sigh

'this is sure one hell of an afterlife.'

It all happened in slow motion, suguru's face slowly morphed into one of shock and horror. Riko slowly turned to look and crouched down, turning your body around she watched as the life faded from your eyes. "Y/N...?" she questioned. "hey, wake up.." her hands shakily went to caress your face,

blood was everywhere, it was your blood

He was speechless, you were on the floor. Lifeless.

"gah, Job's done." he walked out from the shadows as his footsteps echoed into the empty halls. He approached the duo with a smile. "you're free to go now. The girl can stay, we still have unfinished business." Suguru shakily turned around with wide eyes, his mind was racing miles per second. 'why is he here?' 'what happened to satoru' 'what did you have to do with this?'

"huh?" he feigned ignorance. "why?" he tapped his head. "oh, so that's what you mean". He paused as his face turned into a mocking smirk. "Because I killed Gojo Satoru".

A black crack appeared behind Suguru and out came two curses upon command. "is that so?"

"Die."

'How pretty..' was the pink-haired colored woman's first thought. Even when you were deceased you were simply ethereal in your own way. "are you done?" Toji had been standing for the past few minutes in the middle of the room with an unconscious Riko on his shoulder, he put his finger in his nose picking it boredly.

"Don't do such an unseemly thing in front of y/n-sama, your mere presence is unsightly you insect." She spoke with her back turned. "tsk, you have the money right?"

"of course, and ah- give the girl to the guards on your way out. Hand her over with care. y/n-sama wouldn't like it if it wasn't intact." She caressed your face with sudden gentleness before turning around to look at Toji. "The money is in that envelope" Suddenly a butler came into the room as if on cue, with a silver platter which had an envelope on it. He bowed while offering it to the older Fushiguro. "take it and leave you pesky zenin. I have no use for you anymore after this exchange."

A tick mark appeared on his temple, "it's 'fushiguro' you old witch." He tsked before taking the envelope, "nice doing business with you." he offered the possibly older woman a smirk before walking off.

Geto knew he needed to get over himself, yet, how was he supposed to do such a thing when he watched helplessly as your once full-of-life body had fallen to the ground in such a dreadful way? He felt as if cold waves were washing over him in an instant; and even when he fought toji with the idea of maybe saying riko he still failed.

He failed his best friend

He failed his one job as a sorcerer

and worst of all, he failed you.

It was about after his shower that he really started to digest everything that had happened, using the towel he had freshly taken out the bathroom he absentmindedly dried his hair.

'pop' Is when you pushed Riko out of the way, and within the split second he could of saved you he didn't.

'Thud' That was the sound your body made when it collided with the floor

'Red'. The color that pooled out from your body.

'Lifeless' Is how he would describe your eyes in the split second it lost its usual shine. Before he turned to look at your killer.

And lastly, 'cold' is what Riko felt when she touched your hands begging for you to get up. The usual warmth she would get from you was gone, and so were you in your own right. He let out a shaky sight before hesitantly putting up his hands. He felt filthy. He felt disgusted, not with what he was, but himself.

Not to mention that man. The man who robbed both you and your sister of the future that was ahead, and pummeled him alongside his best friend. Once his hands were in his view he turned them into a fist before stretching them out again. With those sam hands he could have protected you, but he didn't. He couldn't. He was weak.

His thoughts departed all at once when he heard a gentle knock at the door. Something within Suguru snapped and he rushed to open it only to see Gojo behind it. "Hey," his voice wasn't as boisterous as it normally would. 'Looks like it really got him too.'

"Hey." He responded. Suguru thought to himself while analyzing the situation. 'Was..Did I rush to answer it hoping it was her?' He would have let out a laugh if it wasn't for the experience he had not too long ago. "Yaga-sensei said he wanted more details on the report in person. Paper wasn't enough I guess" He attempted to crack a joke yet it still felt empty.

Suguru wet his chapped lips and responded, "Thanks." Leaving the entrance of his door he made his way down the hallway to confront the lingering memories of the previous accident.

When Gojo looked up at his best friend, he couldn't see the same "Suguru" he respected. All he saw was a lifeless body that seemed to lose all of its will to live. Soulless eyes stared right back at him, and even although he had his six eyes, something about Suguru's new look set off alarms in his head. The white haired male stood still in the hallway as if he was on guard.

He dragged his hand from the top to the bottom of his face until he came in contact with something wet. "ah." He looked down as his vision became blurry, something welled up in his eyes and dropped down to the floor. Water? no, tears. The Satoru Gojo was crying for the first time in his life. Is this what grief felt like? His breath hitched and he started hiccupping, crumbling to the floor he curled up in front of Geto's now closed door and hurried his face in his arms in a sitting position.

Silently, he cried for the first time.

TAG-LIST:@tabbycake @vduxx @thebigcheez @sattosugu @96jnie @sammyiguess @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9 @boo-kugo @vile-woman @itsmekalou @tojisworm69 @bbynday @whats-humanity-lol

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ashland-frost · 3 months

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The Raven is back and doesn't like the lion

Okay, here's the run down, Paris Dacas is the new fifth-year and has started to avoid Sebastian, which she might end up regrets. This may be part one if it interests anyone. I'll write a part two.

This is a fan fic with my oc Ashland Frost & Sebastian Sallow.

"Why are you ignoring me? We went through so much together last year, but you won't even talk to me," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. I just have a lot on my mind right now. Give me some time," Paris responded.

trying to understand her situation, Sebastian nodded and said, "I understand. Take all the time you need. I'll be here to listen when you're ready." With that, he walks away, heading to the great hall, This friend he had made during their fifth year at Hogwarts. It was a year filled with new experiences and friendships, and most importantly the year of many mistakes he wouldn't take back, Sebastian couldn't help but feel confused by the sudden change in her attitude.

As she watched him walk away, a whirlwind of emotions swirled within her. Little did she know, one of Sebastian's closest friends was coming back and heard about some pretty new girl hanging around him and was not happy about it.

Sixth year has begun at Hogwarts.

Sebastian finds himself seated next to Ominis at the Slytherin table. "So, your little snow fairy is returning this year. She even managed to send me an owl," Ominis remarked, tapping lightly on the table.

"Is she really? I've missed her, shes gonna be angry with me" Sebastian admitted, realizing that he hadn't seen her in a whole year and he'd have to tell her some uncomfortable things he's done.

"She's going to be furious with you. I told her everything that happened in fifth year," Ominis said with a mischievous grin.

Upon hearing this, Sebastian froze. "When you say everything..."

Ominis interrupted him, saying, "Absolutely everything!"

"Oh no, I'm doomed. Is it too late to be sent to Azkaban?" Sebastian exclaimed, feeling a cold sweat forming on his forehead.

Ominis burst into laughter. "No, it's not too late but I feel this is without a doubt better. I believe she went to talk to Anne before coming here. This is going to be quite amusing.. for me."

Sebastian's fear intensified, and he fell into a state of silence.

"Wow, you're really scared, huh? You're never this quiet," Ominis remarked.

Sebastian remained silent for a moment before finally whispering, "I'm terrified... Do you have any idea what she's capable of?"

"I do. That's why nobody dares to make an enemy out of her family. And you just happen to be best friends with the strongest member. Lucky you," Ominis replied, emphasizing the irony.

As Sebastian prepared to speak, the snow fairy they had been discussing made her grand entrance through the doors of the Great Hall. She exuded an icy aura, resembling a living blizzard with her pale skin and flowing white hair. Despite being an albino who attracted many curious glances, her beauty was undeniable, and it seemed to have intensified over not seeing her in a year. Taking her seat at the Ravenclaw table, she eagerly awaited the conclusion of the welcome back ceremony and the arrival of the new first years, for she had some rather aggressive plans in store for a certain someone, and intended to give him a well-deserved slap.

Sebastian couldn't tear his eyes away from her silhouette. As she turned around, her gaze pierced through him with a cold, angry stare, causing Sebastian to jump in his seat. He leaned over to Ominis and whispered, "I was so scared, I almost wet myself..."

"Sebastian, please find somewhere else to do that. I have a feeling I might get yelled at too," he replied, exasperated and not wanting to admit he felt the stare, almost jumping out his seat.

Now, both Sebastian and Ominis couldn't help but wonder how their first encounter with her would go.

Meanwhile, the student who had joined Hogwarts last year, Paris Dacas, had never come across the infamous "white ghost" of Hogwarts, as the other students referred to her. Her name was Ashland Frost, and her personality matched her frosty appearance. It was impossible to miss her unique presence. She leaned in and whispered to Garreth, asking who she was.

"Oh, that's the white ghost. She looks amazing, doesn't she? Right, you didn't meet her last year because she was on a break, family stuff I hear. She may come across as blunt, but she's not a bad person. Hasn't Sebastian told you about her?" Garreth questioned, surprised that she didn't know.

"Why would he?" she responded, clearly confused.

"Well, they're best friends, you know. People often refer to them as the three snakes and their raven," Garreth explained, finding it strange that Paris wasn't aware of Frost's existence.

As the welcoming ceremony finally comes to an end. Frost yawns and makes her way out of the great hall, only to find Sebastian and Ominis hastily walking out together. Sneaking up behind them, she playfully smacks both of their heads, causing them to turn around simultaneously with a pained expression on their faces.

"Now, pray tell, why are you two fleeing so swiftly? I can understand Sebastian, but why are you running, Ominis?" Frost irritably nibbles on the tip of her thumb nail.

"I was afraid of getting slapped along with Sebastian" Ominis rubs his head sheepishly.

Sebastian's eyes dart around nervously as he softly mutters, "Sorry..."

The students nearby burst into laughter, some of them teasingly remarking, "Well, looks like you guys can't get into any more trouble now.” they pointed and laughed while walking by.

Frost smirked, "Now, now, can we go and talk privately, all four of us?"

"Four of us?" Sebastian and Ominis questioned in surprise.

"Yes, I believe the four of us need to have a conversation," a voice chimed in from behind Frost. She stepped aside, revealing Anne.

"Anne..." Sebastian's emotions were a whirlwind of wanting to embrace his sister and feeling unworthy of it. He stood still, watching as Anne hugged Ominis and made her way towards him.

"Brother," Anne spoke softly, "aren't you going to hug your sister?"

"I... I don't deserve such a thing. I can never forgive myself," he replied, his gaze fixed on the ground.

Anne let out a sigh. "You're an idiot, but I can't hate you." She embraced him tightly

Sebastian returned the hug, holding her close. "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry... Please don't leave again."

Frost and Ominis stood side by side, observing the heartfelt reunion. Ominis broke the silence, "So, that's why you stopped to see Anne before coming here?"

"They only have each other as family now, and despite everything, they still love each other. It's rare in families much less pure-blooded families. They should be together, no matter what challenges they face, and overcome them as a united front. Don't you think so?"

"Since when do you care about family?" Ominis teased, amused by Frost's unexpected display of family relationships.

"Don't start with me, you blind snake. I see you three as my family, and I don't like seeing you apart," Frost retorted, her voice filled with genuine affection.

" we really needed you last year, everything was just getting worse, I didn't know what to do with myself and with how everything was going.." Ominis

"I'm sorry, my family was going through a shift in leadership roles, didn't think it would take so long nor did I think things would change so drastically" she sighed

"Things seem to change a the blink of an eye" he says with a mischievous smirk

"I don't know how to feel hearing that come from a blind man" she teased. Both giggling. " Now my little snakes, I have missed you and we need to have an important chat before curfew"

Anne and Sebastian parted from their hug,both of them wiping tears from their eyes. The four of them going to the Undercroft and went over everything that happened, Frost yelling at Sebastian a few times for going into things blind, and telling the new girl about the undercroft ,at Ominis from holding back and just watching and even at Anne for getting herself cursed always acting before thinking, it looked like three children being lectured by their mother. And Frost finally added that Anne's curse is lifted and she'd be back at Hogwarts this year.

Sebastian turned to Frost, his eyes filled with curiosity. "Anne is cured, but how?" he asked, eager to understand the mysterious solution that had saved her.

Frost smiled, "It took us quite some time to unravel the nature of the curse," she explained. "Once Ominis revealed that it wasn't a goblin's doing, finding a solution became much easier. It was actually my grandmother who managed to break the curse."

Sebastian's face lit up with relief and joy. "That's wonderful!" he exclaimed, feeling a wave of gratitude towards Frost and thankful her grandmother helped. But amidst his happiness, Sebastian couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the mistakes he had made.

Sensing his distress, Anne stepped forward and embraced him tightly. "I made mistakes too," she confessed, her voice filled with remorse. "This curse and my blindly listening to uncle, it caused me to lose myself. I'm sorry for not realizing how hard you were trying and for not seeing the burden you carried. Uncle's influence didn't help either, but even so..."

Sebastian interrupted her, his voice tinged with pain. "I know," he said, his words heavy with regret. "I can't undo what I did, and I have to live with the consequences."

As the four of them concluded their conversation and left the undercroft, Paris, who had been observing from the corner, couldn't help but wonder why neither Sebastian nor Ominis had mentioned Frost and why is Anne here?. She continued to watch them closely, her curiosity piqued.

Meanwhile, Ominis and Anne walked away together, leaving Frost and Sebastian standing side by side, their proximity suggesting a closeness she'd never seen from Sebastian. Paris strained her ears, but their conversation remained out of her reach.

Sebastian stood nervously in front of Frost, his body language betraying his unease. He scratched his head, desperately trying to find the right words to say. "Ash... My fairy, are you going to keep yelling at me? Is it possible for me to hug you? It's been a while, and I've missed you."

Frost let out a sigh before leaping up to embrace him. "You fucking idiot, you've gotten taller," she exclaimed, a mix of annoyance and affection in her voice.

Sebastian chuckled softly, lifting her up and holding her tightly. "I'm finally taller than you," he teased, playfully spinning her around.

"Hey, enough of this. Put me down! What if someone sees us? I'll die of embarrassment," she protested, clinging onto his neck for dear life. He gently placed her back on the ground and kissed her forehead, causing her to gasp in surprise. "You flirt," she playfully hit his chest, making him laugh. "Is this how you wooed that new girl?"

Sebastian felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. "No, I didn't touch her... maybe just some light flirting in conversation," he stammered, desperately searching for excuses. Frost pouted and pinched his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I was lonely and going through a lot. I know I shouldn't make excuses. I just wanted to feel like someone understood me and that I wasn't alone"

"And does she? understand you, did you feel like you have someone " Frost asked, her irritation evident in her voice.

"At first yes, but no... it was a mistake, trying so hard with everything" Sebastian admitted, his voice filled with regret. Frost took his hand in hers.

"Let's not make any more mistakes, shall we, little sunflower?" she said, her tone softening.

"Yes, that would be for the best. And just so you know, I'm not little anymore," Sebastian responded, a hint of determination in his voice.

Frost looked up at Sebastian's face, taking in his taller stature, deeper voice, and undeniable handsomeness with a boyish charm. "I don't like it," she confessed. I bet I'm going to have problems with girls this year. "But I'll get used to it," she added with a smirk, trying to hide the fact that she was quite pleased with the changes in him.

Sebastian grinned, relieved "Good. Because I've missed you so much, Ash. I can't even begin to describe how much I've missed my stubborn, protective fairy."

Frost rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, so you missed my nagging and constant scolding, huh?"

He nodded, a genuine smile on his face. "Yes, every bit of it. You're the only one who keeps me grounded, who challenges me and keeps me in check. And I need that, I really do"

Frost's teasing demeanor softened, and she pulled Sebastian into another tight embrace. "I'm here for you, always. No matter how many mistakes you make, no matter how much time has passed, I will always be there, Sebastian."

Sebastian closed his eyes and held onto Frost tightly, feeling a sense of comfort and belonging wash over him. In that moment, he realized the depth of their bond, and how lucky he was to have someone like Frost in his life. As they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, time seemed to stand still. They had reunited, and their friendship was stronger than ever. Sebastian knew he had made mistakes, but with Frost by his side, he was determined to learn from them and become a better person.

After a moment had passed, Sebastian released his grip on Frost and cleared his throat, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over him.

"We should make our way back," he suggested, his voice slightly shaky. "Allow me to accompany you to your tower, my lady." Sebastian extended his arm, and she gracefully accepted it, causing a faint blush to creep onto his cheeks. As they strolled along, he couldn't help but admire her transformation over the past year; she had become even more stunningly beautiful.

Sensing his gaze, Frost playfully remarked, "My figure has become more alluring, hasn't it?"

Sebastian's face turned crimson, and he stammered, "Here we are, your tower, my lady. I shall see you in the morning." With a nervous gulp, he hurriedly made his exit, leaving behind the sound of Frost's laughter echoing in the distance.

Paris had been trailing behind Sebastian and Frost, catching snippets of their conversation. But that wasn't what caught her attention. It was the way Sebastian behaved around Frost that bothered her. He was charming with his words, but he never made any physical contact or got too close to her, just looking at how he was treating this girl differently than he treated her.

"Is this why Ominis warned me to sort out my feelings and make sure I don't regret creating distance between us? Damn it... I had no idea some random girl would just show up out of nowhere."

Paris snapped out of her thoughts and noticed Sebastian turning red from blushing. She had never seen him blush before, and it infuriated her. Walking away from the scene in disgust, she made her way back to Gryffindor, feeling a mix of anger and disappointment.

#sebastian x oc #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #fan fiction #ominis x anne #hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian #hogwarts legacy headcanons

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reading-sometimes · 7 days

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Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree SHC Sorting

This is part 4 of a 4-part series. I would do the specials, but the only new characters that are introduced in them are the villains, so I feel like it would get pretty repetitive. An explanation of the SHC system by @wisteria-lodge can be found here.

Sunset: Badger Lion

Sunset's goal for this movie is helping Twilight, since Twilight has PTSD after turning into a demon in Friendship Games. Twilight's the friend who needs Sunset the most, so she's mostly focused on her.

She shows her Lion secondary by being very blunt when she's talking to Flash. She tells him to get over his crush on Princess Twilight, since she spends most of her time in Equestria.

She also has a Snake secondary model, which she's never had before. Sunset lies to Timber about why she and Twilight were in the woods in the middle of the night, and she lies to Flash about missing an earring, too. Her Snake secondary model dissapears after this movie.

Timber: Badger Bird

Timber's a Badger primary without a group (besides his sister). He's not burned, but he is really desperate for friends. Unlike Gloriosa, he wants to get away from the camp, to live in a town like everyone else. He's scared of people leaving him, because almost everyone in his life leaves him eventually.

Timber's Bird secondary is primarily to make him a good love interest for Twilight - he talks with her about how the scientific name for sapphires is sapphirus, the Latin word for blue.

Gloriosa: Double Badger

Gloriosa struggles with the Double Badger problem of overworking herself. Everything that she does is to make her campers happy, and she shows a mixture of Courier Badger and Bookeeper Badger.

Her Double Badger is incredibly obvious. The existence of the camp gift, where campers work together to build a gift for future campers, is really Double Badger-y. She pretends that there's going to be future campers, even though the camp is on the edge of bankruptcy. She emphasizes multiple times that anyone can come to her if they need anything.

She deals with the fact that her camp is about to go bankrupt by pretending that it isn't, at least around other people. She wants to make their week at camp the best week ever. It's self-imposed toxic positivity.

The pressure of helping everyone gets to her. She's very stressed, since she won't let anyone else help her. When she becomes a villian, it's well-intentioned. She wants to help her camp by gaining enough power to do so, since she believes that she has to do everything alone. She says multiple times that she wants to protect the campers. The camp is saved by contacting people who have come to the camp in the past, and setting up a fundraiser for the camp.

She shows a slight snake secondary model, since she lies about the camp fashion show being a camp tradition when they've never done it before.

#eqg #equestria girls #sunset shimmer #timber spruce #gloriosa daisy #loe #legend of everfree #shc #sortinghatchats

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kuiperblog · 1 year

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M3GAN: a movie about being a modern mom

It was as good as I had hoped. I was actually a bit surprised to see that this film had a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, because it wasn’t amazing, but it is plausibly the kind of movie that could make 95% of critics say, “Yeah, that was pretty good, I guess!” It’s the kind of movie that doesn’t really have any bad parts, but does have a few things that made me think, “Oh, I wish they’d done a little more with that idea.”

I’m usually not much for “creepy doll” horror, but it’s much more of a “rogue AI” story. That said, while M3GAN has more in common with Ex Machina than Chuckie when it comes to setting and premise and subject matter, it’s not really making any attempt to be “high art,” and so the marketing for the movie (which emphasizes the fact that M3GAN does Fortnite dances) isn’t exactly selling the movie short.

Then again, maybe Ex Machina actually sold itself short by not including its own dance scene in the marketing. Certainly, dancing Oscar Isaac would have sold a few movie tickets.

I went to the 7:30 Friday showing of M3GAN, with my reasoning being that a campy horror movie is one occasion on which I am glad (eager, even) to share a theater with a bunch of rowdy teenagers. In retrospect, I made a slight miscalculation: this is a PG-13 movie, and I was seated right in front of two parents and their son (who I would estimate to be somewhere around age 12), who piped up several times throughout the movie to inform them that he wasn’t scared and didn’t have to leave the theater. (New policy: wait until the 10 PM showing for PG-13 horror?)

Also, the movie has Brian Jordan Alvarez in a supporting role (his first major theatrical role?) which came as a pleasant surprise.

I went to see the movie entirely on the strength of a recommendation from Alyssa Rosenberg (who is among my favorite movie critics), and because her “review” got me to see the movie (and didn’t make me regret the decision), I share it now with you, by way of an Across the Movie Aisle podcast transcription:

Sonny: Alyssa, you’re not a horror movie fan, but you did like this movie a lot, what appealed to you about it?

Alyssa: I did. Thinking about this as a ‘murder doll’ horror movie is wrong. This is actually a satire about contemporary mom-ing. Obviously it’s there on the surface to some extent: Gemma [the protagonist of the film] is not sure that she’s meant to be a parent. But the film is shot through with all of these little jokes that you basically only get if you are scrolling Mom Instagram all the time. ... You have a therapist talking about attachment theory, you have that very funny scene at a ‘prospective students day’ at this new school where this mom of this very obvious awful boy is blathering on about all these theories about how “defiant kids end up being the most intelligent.” And so, the whole thing is like being plunged into the culture of contemporary moms.

It’s very much about the expectations that moms put on themselves. ... Gemma is an interesting character, because she is kind of a cold fish. She is sort of bad at this. But the climax of the movie is very much about her embracing her own imperfection and saying, “I’m a better parent, in my failures, because I can learn, because I recognize that for every rule there is an exception, because I can read this kid, and because I recognize that discomfort is part of learning to grow as a human being.” It’s an assertion of the value of individual parenting, even by a flawed parent, over the homogenized advice of the internet, over the supposed hyper-optimization of a robot. It’s just a very funny movie about being a mom today. ... Viewing it as a ‘mom satire’ rather than a ‘scary doll satire’ I think made it land very differently.

Sonny: I can see that. Those parts of the movie are the best-written stuff in the movie for sure, the whole kind of ‘mommy wars’ aspect of it.

#m3gan #movies #across the movie aisle

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scarlettatg · 2 years

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The Handmaid’s Tale

Season 3 Episode 6 Household

The snow kiss is probably one of my favorite kisses. The cinematography is just so beautiful, but other than that there’s a sense of comfort between them. Their previous kisses have been mixed with longing, passion, desperation. This one for me was just full of love and familiarity. The way they can read each other is also one of my favorite things about how they are portrayed in the show. He knows something is up, just like she knew something was up in 209 when he comes back from Canada after the letters get out. The what is pretty much the same. You can also see June’s dilema at what she was about to ask but even though some people think she was using him she wasn’t. She wasn’t even trying to manipulate him. She left it up to him and for me this was the last “call out” June has given Nick that I have picked up on. I firmly believe these call outs of specific things we have seen throughout the seasons have pushed/inspired Nick. This creates a balance in their dynamic. June is impulsive and emotional, Nick is the opposite. He knows how to play this long game in Gilead, too long some might think so I believe these call outs make him more assertive.

He moves away from June because he knows this is dangerous. For both of them, even for Holly. If he has a deal already, making this deal exposes him. Now if Nick has been a spy for the Americans or not is not something we have really seen. We do know he is not loyal to Gilead, even before June came along. He did have connections to Mayday and he had to have proven himself trustworthy to the cause to pull June's first escape.

“This is one the time to be a father to OUR daughter. How many of those do you think you’re going to get.” I love she says OUR daughter and even though her words are harsh they are true and she says them with emotion not with the intent to hurt him. It’s quite different from her time in 303 when he came to say goodbye. She knows what is his reality while in Gilead and she knows he would love to be a father and this is the best and only way to be one. She doesn’t even push the issue. She simply says it’s tomorrow morning. She can’t force him, just like he can’t force her to do things. She also knows this is a risk for him. She sees his struggle, he’s also scared for himself and for them. And he knows how politicians work, June doesn’t. At that moment they are balanced and it's a choice he has to decide to make. And he does, like always for her, for both of them. Because for Nick nothing else matters. Not even knowing he could die if he does this. People forget that that’s what Gilead does, even though he is a commander now doesn’t mean he is pro Gilead and that on its own, even with the “privileges” can be a risk.

The things he says in this scene are also interesting.

“They are politicians, they have their own agenda. I know so do I.” This is a little naive on June's part. Nick has been seeing how things work in Gilead for a lot longer and from a totally different perspective. He knows how these things work. June doesn’t and she’ll come to realize once in Canada. He also says they don’t care about us, which is also true. They care about the bigger picture. For politicians their situation is one of many and even if they can emphasize they’re still a means to an end.

“Once you get in bed with the government it’s not easy to get out.” This line has stuck with me for the longest and probably I will never know the real meaning behind it. The most logical interpretation is that he meant Gilead. This is where he’s stuck, even though he has shown no allegiance to. He joined the SOJ but not as a political group and we don’t know when he realized the ramification of the SOJ. We also don’t know if he was a willing participant of the take over. I do know he didn’t slaughter Congress or killed the president or was key a player. If he would’ve been he wouldn’t have been a driver for years before his promotions; that were punishments in disguise for helping June. We also know people were forced to comply or die, especially the military. The political structure in the show hasn’t been clear either. We do know Pryce was #1 and Fred #2. We also know it’s Pryce who recruited Nick in an employment office and offered him a job. It’s clear the SOJ as a fundamental group worked in this manner to recruit people. They offered solutions and change preying on the needs of desperate people. The economy was shit, the world was already going through a crisis and he was desperate for a job to take care of his family. This is how these groups operate and because they offer people hope and a solution while hiding their true agenda people go to them and follow them. These groups do not advertise their true intentions, their rhetoric can be disguised in their beliefs but people always think it won’t come to this or that. It would’ve been impossible for lower members of the group to know the plan for the take over in advance. We also know the SOJ took over by force so if Nick's willing compliance for some is possible because we haven’t seen it, his forced participation is also possible because we haven’t seen it. We do have seen a consistent character that doesn’t seem to align with the ideals of the SOJ and hasn’t been seen actively enjoying the Gilead lifestyle. I feel the need to clarify once again he did NOT want to be a commander.

The Swiss

Another thing that has been heavily debated is if he did go talk to the Swiss. He does go talk to the Swiss. There’s a scene that clearly shows him waiting for the meeting and getting called in. If the show wanted to make sure we knew he didn’t go, that 30 second scene would’ve been cut and it would’ve panned out to him being saluted by the troops (he’s a commander not a soldier it’s obvious they will salute him). The show wanted us to see that he did go.

The Swiss knew about the tape and they knew Nick was who she was talking about. They call him commander Blaine. June never says Nick and in the tape she says he’s a driver yet they knew he was already a commander. They knew who he was, they had done their research.

We won't be able to do business with Mr. Blaine. I don't think you know who Mr. Blaine is. Or who he was. (I’m sure they knew his background). Our research indicates he is not to be trusted. If they made a deal with Nick he wouldn’t want June to know. The only way to protect her and him is to make it seem he is proGilead. If he was already undercover the smartest thing to do is to keep him undercover. If he made a deal now with the Swiss the only info he could provide on the power structure would be from now on because he has just been promoted, but he can now share military info to help the rebels in Chicago or just for valuable intel. If the Americans were willing to make a deal with Fred, who was a founding father and came up with the take over, why couldn’t they make a deal with Nick.

“He's left for Chicago. Some people are not to be dealt with.” They were willing to meet up with him and they had done their research before the meeting. It’s not like Nick confessed he ate babies in the meeting where he’s trying to keep his daughter safe. Also his orders came rather quickly after this. Right after the meeting.

Serena says: “He served Gilead. He was a soldier in the crusade.” We already kind of knew that. He was working class. So he obviously didn’t do anything of amazing value to be higher up in the hierarchy. Most people at the moment of the takeover were pretty much forced to comply or die (flashback with the American soldier deflecting to Canada and talking with Moira). These groups do NOT share their whole plan with the lower ranks of their members. That avoids information leaks or people that want to leave. “We wouldn't be here without him. All this time you spent together and he never mentioned anything.” Obviously if he fought for Gilead and Gilead won, Gilead wouldn’t be what it is without those soldiers. Now why would Nick confess to June in the BG that he joined the SOJ? They had for all they knew days together, and for Nick he probably wasn’t planning to ever see her (or his baby) ever. If she ever found out he had been a part of it at least she’d have the memory that he tried to do everything to keep them safe.

#june osborne #the handmaid's tale #nick blaine #nick x june #osblaine

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aceofthegreenajah · 1 year

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wot reread status: made it to baerlon.

Everything past the first trollocs showing up until they were over the river was just so good. Really good. I didn’t want to stop reading. After things calmed down I’m not tearing through the book anymore, but I’m still having a good time.

I mostly really like being in Rand’s head in this part. He’s scared and scrambling and feeling alone and helpless. He’s scared about Tam, worried for Egwene. Sometimes he’s a bit of a brat - has stupid arguments and such - but it’s still understandable.

Egwene starts off by not believing them about why they’re leaving, and coming along and having a good time when the boys are terrified. And that Rand still handles very gracefully - he’s a little frustrated, but mostly just scared for her.

And then she starts her journey to become Aes Sedai, when we’ve had a lot of emphasis on how people see them as not much better than trollocs. That’s much harder for him to swallow, but he starts getting over that by the time they make it to baerlon.

So it takes him a few days - so what? He’s been told these horrible stories about Aes Sedai all his life, and Moiraine hasn’t exactly been all sunshine and roses. She has saved them - but very much for her own purposes.

Also do we think he actually lost that trolloc who came out of the window after him naturally, or was there channeling involved? I don’t have a physical book in front of me so I can’t go and check it now, but knowing how well trollocs in general smell and hear that sounds very lucky. I know the Bela thing is at the very least channeling, but do we know if that was his first time?

Rambling about some book/show differences below.

The book does linger a lot in how much people hate Aes Sedai - I didn’t count, but there have been at least four scenes I can think of where it’s been emphasized. And probably half a dozen more where it’s been mentioned, like when we’re told what whitecloaks are about and that tear hates everything to do with channeling.

It’s not that the show didn’t show it at all - my spouse caught it and he has 0 knowledge of the books. But, well, they showed it by a) one scene at the inn; b) one scene with Nynaeve who has a reason to hold a grudge; c) the ferryman mentioning it in a tense situation just before he dies; d) Rand opposing Moiraine.

(I know this is not an exhaustive list - for example, the attitude towards Aes Sedai is shown also by how Moiraine is greeted in Fal Dara, where they assume she’s just there to meddle. But these are in the first few episodes where it’s the most important to establish.)

So if you’re not a book reader who knows to pay attention, I do see how you’d think ‘this is just Rand being whiny’. Especially if you already love Moiraine, doubly if you’re the kind of watcher who does other stuff at the same time and might miss subtleties as a result.

It might have worked a bit better if there were adults, or just more people, raising worries about Moiraine in the show. There is the one scene with the parents, but it’s just them talking, not people trying to drive them out of the village like in the books. (Even if it was just a couple of people.) So it doesn’t seem as serious.

But then, unless you want to make one of the important characters - like Tam or someone - a lot more anti-Aes Sedai than in the books, you’d need a new speaking part for it. And more runtime, for a scene that ultimately leads nowhere. So in the end I think they did it pretty much as well as they could.

Random other differences: I really like that Mat didn’t do the stupid Pippin thing in the show, immediately talking about things they less than an hour ago were told to not even think about. The scene in the baths made me want to facepalm. I do like Mat in the show a lot more in general than book-1 Mat.

Whitecloaks are introduced as - well, as a gang in the books. While in the show Valda is immediately unsettling and terrifying. Might have more thoughts about that later, but for now they’ve barely been mentioned.

I didn’t remember Baerlon is currently full of miners from the mountains! So the mining town in the show might be inspired by that, unless it’s something that’s on the later Rand/Mat roadtrip that I’ve forgotten. Probably a combination.

#wheel of time #wot on prime #wot reread

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fifteenleads · 2 years

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play with life

Despite the past couple years of relative disuse, Richard hasn't really forgotten how to use his stage voice.

It was pretty much a given for everyone in the company, considering the semi-regular online performances they still held together over the prolonged lockdown period. The sight of a live audience, however, gives him unease once more, as if all those years spent getting over his stage nerves seemingly have gone to waste.

Inhale, exhale. This is still less formidable than a single camera and the looming silence of his own flat. He could get through this.

Anne gently squeezes his bicep, an encouraging smile on her lips. She really does look different in costume, as opposed to the more androgynous way she usually dresses outside of work. He'd almost snorted in laughter when she declared it her late-onset rebellious phase, but they both knew it meant more to her than that.

"Break a leg," she says affectionately, a little more to herself than to him, as she fiddles with the tight collar of her dress. Anne's own nervousness oddly calmed him down, for some reason.

The beginners call for Act Two sounds shortly after, and Richard disengages himself, heart quietly beating in time with his measured steps up the stage. "Thank you. See you later."

Richard's life before he discovered stage acting was a terrible mess, to say the least.

The mismatched eyes he easily hid with uneven bangs. The way his chest and hips grew wrong in high school, corrected with an entire wardrobe overhaul that cost his childhood savings and then some. The way everyone else treated him like a circus freak show despite all his efforts to conform, however, left him damaged beyond repair.

So he decided to shove all that back into their faces, risky behaviors, university honors and all. Best to just do whatever the hell he wanted if no one even cared anyway. It was both a downward and upward spiral, as he sank deeper and deeper into despair he did not feel as he empowered himself more and more with bravado he did not have.

Then Catesby dragged him along one time to see some play's opening night. Said it was moral support for a mutual friend in the ensemble, but the pointed look he gave Richard as he emphasized his words clearly meant something else.

That night, Richard didn't drink himself to sleep for the first time in years.

The first few days after that confused him greatly. The next weeks brought a nagging feeling that disturbed him endlessly as his nightmares changed to something that scared him most - beginning hope.

Did he still want peace of mind, even after all this time?

The day Richard's extreme frustration with himself came to a head, he tore off the first open call he found in the classified ads and showed up to the audition armed with nothing but genuine earnestness and a desire to turn his life around somewhat.

Reality ensued, as expected, but he walked away from his first failure in years with some realizations and a dreamless sleep that left him the most recharged he could remember after an inner exhaustion he didn't know he felt for so long.

For the next few months he studied the art of theatre with an unbridled passion he hadn't felt since his childhood. It was an entirely different journey with its own set of difficulties, but the notion of finally, properly expressing himself as he was - ideas and triumphs and defeats and emotions all worn on his sleeve - made him strive harder than ever.

Richard was finally rewarded after many months, a major role to his name and proper recognition and love from everyone else. By then, none of all that even mattered anymore, he realized with a clear mind and a content smile as he finally, finally, finally slept well for the first time in forever.

After two hundred twenty-eight minutes of telling the story of a tragic king, the curtain falls over a triumphant company to the sounds of orchestral music and fervent applause.

Richard's bare hands are warm despite the frigid air conditioning of the theatre, even as they are clasped in Anne's and Edward's gloved ones. It is their first production after two years, and the people clearly missed live entertainment after many months of streaming and gaming and whatever it is they busied themselves with to keep their minds off the despair lockdown brought.

Edward quickly pulls Richard close in an enthusiastic hug, ignoring the dirty looks Anne is giving him. "Man, you look more and more beautiful each day! My character's feelings for you might just transcend the stage one of these days, eh?"

"Your character clearly didn't learn his lesson, then," Richard deadpans, but good-naturedly returns the hug anyway. "I must warn you, though, not being able to break character is scarier than you might think."

"Yeah, I remember that," Edward agrees, ruffling Richard's hair reassuringly. "Sucked that that happened on your birthday back then. It was the first thing you taught me when I told you I wanted to be an actor."

To this, Richard smiles proudly at his friend, amazed at how far the boy had come since the day he shyly asked for an autograph from behind his mother two years ago, to a confident new actor now on his first role on a major stage production. Clearly, Edward has taken that lesson to heart, resolving there and then to be a great actor while never losing himself as a person.

Even now, those words bring Richard to tears as he remembers them fondly, the same way he looks back on how far he himself has come since. "I'm glad to hear it. Keep up the good work."

Those words were more for himself, really, but Edward doesn't need to know that.

For now, they celebrate tonight, themselves, and each other.

Tomorrow's a new day after that.

#requiem of the rose king #baraou no souretsu #richard iii #character study #after the curtain falls #modern AU #actor AU #oneshot

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bexstevie · 1 year

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dated december 31st, 2022 / late evening content warning: allusions to drug addiction, health problems, near death experiences, general depression.

when his mom knocks on his doorframe that evening, after he hears the sink start in the kitchen, he figures he should have seen it coming. ever since the phone call with his dad, he’s been holed up in his room just...sulking, for the most part. upset. mostly sleeping. it’s easier than having to think about everything, at least.

but it’s been a couple days now, and his mom has been pretty patient. he knows she’s been itching to talk to him; ever since he dodged her christmas night and locked himself up in his room to stew and cry. but she didn’t push, and he knows he’s been living on borrowed time. she probably told minkyu to clean up so she can talk to him-- but he isn’t sure if he’s really ready. or maybe he just doesn’t want to face it.

when she knocks again, a little louder, and calls out a firmer steven that makes him look away from the movie he’s watching. doesn’t pick his face out of the blanket it’s shoved in, but stares over the folds of the fabric at his mom. she smiles when they make eye contact, pushing off the frame and stepping into the room.

she takes slow steps until she’s standing by the bed, hovering. stevie eyes her, not moving to face her, then looks back at the screen. he hums at her, muffled by the blanket, but continues to watch. he sees her rock side to side, hands clasped, before she leans over slightly, peering at his screen. “what are you watching?”

“princess mononoke.” stevie mutters, watching mindlessly as ashitaka and san interact. hears his mother hum, but she doesn’t move or say anything else. when he peeks at her, she’s watching the screen thoughtfully, so he looks back at his laptop. they watch the scene for a few moments, both silent as they take it in. after a few minutes though, she takes a breath and says, carefully, “i wanna talk to you about something,” stevie grunts, shoving his face further into the blanket. “stevie. please.”

huffs. drags a hand out of his blanket cocoon and clicks pause. pushes himself up slowly into a seated position, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. “m’kay,” he mumbles. “m’listening.”

she doesn’t speak right away. instead, she goes to sit on the edge of the bed, with enough distance that she can see him fully. looks at him for a moment before her shoulders droop. “your father loves you,” she says quietly, but stevie hears it loud and clear. he blinks rapidly and ducks his head down. stares instead at the folds in the blanket-- the eeveelutions looking right back at him. “and he wants to see you. but he has a lot to work on. this...this was a lot, this time.” she says it vaguely, but he doesn’t need the actual words for it. knows it, has seen it himself. saw the aftermath and is living the consequence of that result.

“i know it’s not ideal,” mom continues. “but these things take time. and your father...needs to get better. needs to be better. for himself, first.” she emphasizes. offers stevie a sad smile when he lifts his gaze a bit. his eyes are a little glassy, but he isn’t crying yet. “then he can be better for you. he feels guilty. for his health, for how he took care of you. for not being there at the beach when you...” she trails off, and bites her tongue. pushes through, even though her voice is strained with her own emotion; she hates talking about it. how much it scared her. “and he...he’s got a lot to work through. it’s not an exaggeration.”

she reaches out, rakes a hand through his hair and ruffles it gently. takes her hand out to rearrange his bangs fussily before she drops her hand back to her side. “this year will be better.” she murmurs, voice going softer when stevie sniffles. he ducks his head and stares resolutely at flareon, who smiles back up at him like he isn’t about to drown it with tears. “for all of us. and who knows? maybe things will look up. we’ll see how everything is going once your birthday comes around,” she says. “that’s still a long time away. anything could happen.”

( build him up, just to break him back down again.)

#solo.#wc: 721 #( follow up to the otherrr )#( catching up on development heaves ;; sad boy hours now rip )#cw: drug addiction mention #cw: depression #cw: health

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linde121 · 7 months

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It is once again spooky season, that wonderful time of the year where I must distract myself from the upcoming winter by immersing myself in pumpkin desserts, fall colors spooky aesthetics, and Gothic horror.

So with that in mind...I found myself watching The Invitation (2022).

Overall it was enjoyable to watch, it definitely nailed the aesthetics and the campy horror aspect, the acting and filming were great, and I would recommend it for anyone looking for some Gothic horror.

But that's not the reason I'm writing about this movie. I'm writing about this movie because it fell just short enough of its potential that it's taken over my entire brain.

The Good

Like I said, there was some really good filming. The shot where we learn of Mrs. Swift's death via her body being draped over Evie's hiding spot, the hands on the canopy, the Just A Chair scare, the focus on the nail clipping and filing in the spa scene to heighten the tension...

And, of course, every movie is improved by having a character in a bloodstained wedding dress power walk out of a burning mansion.

The Bad The Missed Opportunities, ie The Real Reason I Can't Stop Thinking About This Movie

Since this movie so aptly demonstrated with Mrs. Swift's death that you don't need to actually show the violence to get the horror of it across--which was pretty integral to the original Dracula--it's frustrating that they had two extended scenes where maids are trapped and preyed upon so early in the movie. It doesn't leave room for the creepiness to escalate, and it takes time that could have been used to develop some of the many underdeveloped characters in the movie--including the maids in question. We would have gotten the creepy/horrifying gist if they showed the first scene, then gotten the butler sending the other two down into the cellar and doing his Latin chant as he walks away. Or just escalated the horror more slowly, with giving the maids enough personality that both we and Evie notice when they disappear.

Speaking of which...yeah, there were quite a few characters who were underused in this movie.

I understand that this is Gothic romance, and thus the Walter/Evie relationship gets the most attention in the movie's limited screentime. However, given how big of a role family plays in the story and how searching for it is so important to Evie's character...it would've been so much more in line with the movie's themes and made the eventual reveal hit so much harder if that focus was instead given to Evie's relationship with the Alexanders. If this movie really wants to play to its Dracula origins, then Dracula's at his most effective when he's a mysterious offscreen figure, and the focus on family instead of romance would've made this movie more unique.

This movie has a lot of characters, and of course they can't all be given focus, so instead of having three different families with a bride from each one, they could've just had one family where for some ritually significant reason there needs to be three brides. Then there's still that urgency for Evie to become a bride and the movie can do double duty with Viktoria and Lucy being both brides and Evie's hoped-for family.

Also with Viktoria and Lucy...it would've been so much more interesting for the nice, sweet bride to be secretly sinister and doing her best to keep Evie in the dark, while the catty hostile bride is trying to trip Evie's red flags and get her to leave while she still can.

The other minor change that could've emphasized Evie's relationship with the Alexanders would've been to have Oliver lure her in slowly. Like, they have their first introduction, then there's a time skip/montage where it's clear they've bonded, then Oliver invites her to the wedding. This would've had the bonus effect of making it much more understandable for Evie to accept without the invitation raising any red flags.

To go along with the "family" theme...I think that the ending was meant to resolve the movie with "family of choice" > "family by blood", with Evie and her friend Grace teaming up to hunt vampires. This would've been so much more effective if Grace were more present throughout the movie--as it is, she's such an underutilized character that the only reason we know her name is because it shows up on Evie's cell phone. I don't like to say "well, they should've been more derivative of this other story", but I've also recently watched and loved Get Out and Crimson Peak, which both were horror of the "protagonist is lured to creepy home by a seemingly friendly/well-meaning connection, only to turn out to be the last in a series of victims in a ritual/scheme" variety. Both of those movies managed to make the Friend Back Home important, so I'm just saying, The Invitation could've done something to make Grace's inclusion at the end feel like more of a payoff.

The maids would've been good candidates to emphasize the "family of choice" thing too, either instead of or in conjunction with Grace. Evie could've bonded with one or several of them, enough to notice when they're getting picked off, and have at least one survive and join her at the end of the movie. On a final, more nitpicky, note, I cannot for the life of me figure out what the deal was with everyone's lifespan/powers, and I don't believe this was ever fully explained in the movie. Since Mr. Fields killed Evie's great-grandfather and Mrs. Swift was friends with her great-grandmother, they've got to have their lives extended in some way, but they don't appear to be vampires. Are anyone from the families vampires, apart from the brides? What about the Harkers?

The "This Movie Was Blatantly Trying To Tie Itself To Dracula And So I'm Allowed To Judge It By Dracula Standards"

Glad to know this movie's accurately depicting just how ridiculously ~overdramatic<3~ Dracula vampires are.

Since one of the more problematic aspects of Dracula is how it's tied into this imperial British cultural anxiety over "~foreigners~", the fact that the creepy elements are tied to the British upper class is a welcome, subtle twist on the original story.

I am not amused at how a Mina and Jonathan Harker showed up as Dracula's minions. Are they completely different characters, or did this movie honest to God turn the protagonists of the original novel evil as an Easter egg?

#the invitation #the invitation 2022 #spooky season #my meta

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artaacari · 1 year

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17. History

A hot tropical sun was rising over the island of Martinique, making the blue sky almost glow with a southern halo. The tops of the palm trees barely swayed from the light breeze from the sea, and not everyone would be able to see the cabin of a famous hunter between the trees. But Nino knew that Otis Sezer was not just a peaceful settler, but a filibuster nicknamed Panther with a very stormy past. And let loud attacks on port cities be left behind, among the Pirates of the Caribbean Sea there is still information about a reliable person. He had something that no punitive expeditions of powerful kingdoms could overcome. So there was nothing left but to make my way through the jungle, scaring the birds and monkeys and really hope that there was not a bird-eating spider somewhere nearby. When Nino finally got out into the clearing, he felt as if he had been reborn. What can you do - people who have something to hide usually choose very hard-to-reach places to live. Suddenly he noticed some movement to the right. It was something much larger than an insect, so Nino instantly drew his gun. He had a sword with him, but it would not take any animal. The bullet is more reliable, it won't hook, it's so scary. But the only thing he managed to make out was a white and red border of… something. Fur, or a tail, or even some fabric. Fugitive slaves could be hiding in the forests, many of whom played with the forbidden magic of their ancestors on a non-childish level. Nino knew well that these were not empty tales. That's why I came here. Looking around and holding his weapon at the ready, he approached the porch of the wooden house. It was quite a colorful place, with animal skins and bunches of grass hanging from the roof, a flowering vine growing near them, and a translucent yellow stone set into the door, watching the approach of the guest like a big angry eye. It could very well happen that the hunter will not be at home - and then the risky journey will have to be repeated on some other day. Nino really hoped that he would get even a little bit lucky, so he knocked, ignoring the strange premonition. And not even a minute had passed, judging by the slightly accelerated heartbeat, when the door opened. And Nino froze, confusedly remembering why he knocked so persistently. In front of him stood a girl - such a pretty Creole woman, as if she had just posed for a portrait. The soft shade of her dark skin was emphasized by the peach dress, which she tried to smooth out inconspicuously. Twinkling eyes warily followed the guest, and a bright orchid was added to the long hair.

- I'm looking for the Panther…that is, Cesaire. Otis Cesaire, - Nino said not too confidently.

- Father will return soon, - assured the girl calmly. - But he doesn't like to talk about old times too much.

- Maybe I want to buy game from him? - the guy tried to justify himself.

She measured him with an even more incredulous look.

- First, buy yourself normal clothes!

Unfortunately, here the beauty was quite right. Nino didn't really want to tell me where he'd been for the last month or how much time he'd spent trying to get his jacket and trousers in some sort of shape, so he pretended that's what all the West Indies new boys were wearing this season.

- I just want to ask about one thing.

- About the treasure? The one left by pirates on a deserted island?

But she knows everything! It was hard for Nino to believe, but apparently Pantera was recalling the most vivid episodes of his youth in the evenings, while his daughter was nearby doing the housework and listening attentively. That's why her look is so bold, and her hands are stubbornly attached to her waist, where you could look for a completely different reason.

- You still say that you have already dug it up, - muttered Nino.

The girl raised her beautifully defined eyebrows in surprise.

- Do you want to offer your services?

They were standing on the threshold of a lonely house in the middle of the jungle, but the boy still looked around to see if anyone was eavesdropping.

- I have something that will help in this case. One thing that belonged to a very respectable person, but then it was stolen, then they tried to return it, and in the end - quite by accident, by coincidence - it ended up in my possession.

- It could be anything,- the Creole girl squinted.

- I am ready to convince anyone, - assured Nino, and after a second's hesitation he took out a crumpled page from his bosom.

The girl simply snatched it from his hands, for a moment touched her warm fingers to his rough palms, unfolded it, turned it over, and then opened her mouth in shock. Nino just started to smile triumphantly and was already preparing to tell a little more about the same Book, until then the hunter's daughter loudly called someone:

- Trixx! You have to see it!

And all the boy's plans changed once and for all.

#miraculous fanfic #djwifi #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #djwifi december

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thatsarcasticlillithgirl · 2 years

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Buckle up, Babes, we're taking a little trip almost three years back and about 1700 miles north east. This is a story of mental health being handled poorly by police. and an emergency room. I am not the 'main character' but I have permission (to say the least) to tell this little tale. This story takes place in a fairly little Connecticut town, Willimantic, Summer of 2019. If things feel a little choppy or undetailed, this was 3 years ago, a very very bad day, and I'm trying to tell two sides of a story when I was only privy to mine in some cases.

What you, dear reader, needs to know from the outset of this story is my best friend, henceforth: Dean, is a US Army Vet with non-combat related PTSD.

She was, at this time, haphazardly medicated and still struggling more than not, and then there was an issue where she ended up without meds. I believe there were a few days that were shaky, and then the day our story really kicks off. Now at this time I was living with her and her husband, her husband was at work. I don't remember how the day started, but it was pretty quickly obvious she was not doing well at all. She was intent on trying to harm herself and intent on breaking everything. (We were finding glass under stuff a year later) And while this wasn't really confirmed it is a shared belief between her and I that she was in a state of psychosis, She just didn't look like anyone was...home, most the time and when she did come back to herself temporarily she was scared. If I'm nothing else I am loyal to a fault and time and time again I was getting in her space, trying to physically stop her from hurting herself and ending up not really being hit so much as shoved/thrown away. I don't really know how long this went on because 5 minutes felt like 2 hours, but over the course of the day she cut herself, possibly multiple times, burned herself with a torch, and attempted to get hit by a car. ((A HUGE FUCK YOU to the douchebag who could clearly see this was a not great situation and was driving along slowly antagonizing her while I was yelling at them to just fucking drive. Mostly for their own fucking safety, too. )) Not only did I want to avoid calling 911 if possible, It wasn't like I'd had much opportunity, but at one point I somehow came under the impression she'd taken a lot of some pill or other and when I'd ask she wasn't giving me a yes or a no, So using what at that time I thought was my best judgement I called 911, told them the situation, probably did mention her being aggressive but I can't remember. EMS showed, Police showed.

Originally one police officer took me somewhat around the house, she was in back, to talk to me. I don't remember the conversation but it didn't get all that far before THREE more cops joined us there. Now seven cops had showed up, I now had four on me, and three on her, which, logic...but anyway, one of them asks me: "Did she hit you?" and I kinda had the presence of mind right then to realize despite this being a welfare call atleast one person was leaving in handcuffs and also if I said yes she hit me, They were likely to try and stick her with an Ass/Batt charge, and also cursing her in my mind for not shutting the fuck up to the police (She was in no headspace to be held accountable for anything she said honestly) and at this same time all four of these cops had moved way too far in to my bubble for comfort. I answered them with "We were fighting", while Stepping. Backwards.(Because I got my own issues with men and they were crowding me)

I only emphasize that because the cop told me I tried to run. Never even acted like I was turning my back, and the cop grabbed me to cuff me. Now, In my head, I was silent trying to process how things had fucked this far off the path they should have been on. Apparently that was not the case. Dean would end up telling me later on I had gotten loud and she tried to take off from the cops to see what was going on and asking them if they were arresting me. Because even then with everything that happened, was happening, and would happen, I was still her little sister. Anyway, They ended up throwing her to the ground to cuff her. I remember none of the short cop car ride but I remember where my head was. I was distraught, saying to myself, or maybe out loud...fuck I really could have been screaming at this point, that she was going to hate me and never forgive me. Once at the PD I was taken to a holding cell. At the time I had in earrings, but they were the piercing studs that in least some of the holes went in when they were pierced and had not come out.

My hands were shaking, I'm sobbing, and this one cop was yelling at me to get them taken out , and eventually threatened to hold me on bail if I did not cooperate. I was trying to make it clear that not only were the backs tight, It was painful, and I was trying. He had the audacity to tell me "It's not that hard" and eventually I did get them out, cried in a cell for like thirty minutes, then they took me to book me. I almost got myself in to more trouble because at first nobody would tell me shit about my best friends well-being, you know, the whole fuckin reason all this was going on. Finally I think one of the cops realized it might be easier to just tell me "Yeah, we got her to the hospital, where she needs to be." YEAH. NO FUCKING SHIT. ITS ALMOST LIKE THAT"S WHY WE'RE IN THIS ROOM TOGETHER NOW, ASSHOLES. I was charged with disturbing the peace or whatever the fighting charge is, released on a promise to appear for court the next day, and a no-contact order. Which I did bring a good point up, small detail, to the cops uh...I FUCKING LIVED IN HER HOUSE. And the only other person in the state. Or New England. Or 1700 miles, That I really knew was her husband.They basically told me ...tough.((This is also as good a time as any to mention they also did not read me rights when arresting me)) So I left the police station and I do not know that I ever made a conscious decision to go, but autopiloted one block over to my therapists office.

I can only imagine by about this point I had to look a whole fuckin mess, Bruises from getting tossed around starting to show, bruises on my wrists from the handcuffs, sobbing, Ink on my transferring from my fingers after they took my prints and trying to wipe my face. I do not know what I told the ladies at the front desk other than I had just been let go from the police station, and by some miracle my therapist was there and had available time to talk to me, which probably kept me from doing anything stupid. ((I have BPD, She was and is my favorite person, and I was dead convinced at this point she would never want to see me again)) and my therapist helped set me up with a ride to court and we came to the conclusion that there was no way the hospital let her go, so I should go home. I don't know if I got a ride or walked by myself, but unsurprisingly the hospital in this town was also inept at best, and sent her home. (I'd later learn they had seen her clawing into the cuts on her inner arm, and still did so) And well in an effort to not make an even long story longer, I spent the night in their garage in her 67 Impala, we went to court...I went back to her house because I had literally nowhere else I could go. She had moments of calm and clarity, a lot more moments of not.

It would be on night 4 since all this had started her husband ended up taking her 1.5 hours away to the VA hospital, She was hospitalized for two weeks, and I am so proud of her because with help from the VA and especially her assigned peer support she has been more or less on a good med regiment and more or less stable. We both ended up paying fines. And on my suggestion we did the only logical reasonable thing to follow all of that shit. Matching handcuff tattoos on our middle fingers, Pictured above.

(To be clear, Those in the wrong in this story were the Willimantic Police Department who lacked mental health training and arrested a veteran suffering psychosis and the person trying to help her, and Windham Hospital whose psych ER is a damn joke. Not my friend)

#DeanStories #Personal #mental health #copsarentmentalhealthtrained

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