Thinking about an AU where Durge remembers more than they do in canon and they and Karlach end up getting into an argument about Gortash (either because Karlach got too aggressive about him or Durge got too defensive of him) and Karlach demands to know why Durge is so protective of the man after everything he did to the city and its people and her, and Durge just looks at her and says very gently "He's the only person who's ever wanted to know all of me."

There, I fixed it for you.

My Manifesto by @ajw720

  Nonnie Anon, fact, I need for D to be is closeted.  People Darren can deny it for the remainder of their his lives life, but it doesn’t his label does make him straight.  And that fact alone-that I do not understand how sexual identification and labels work- is sad and is a total injustice.  But I am going to answer this from the perspective that the closeting is a fact and how was it handled vs. how it could have been handled- aka how my fantasy could have played out.

When I see pics of D from the G/lee days, particularly pre her move, he is precisely what you say, a ball of sunshine. His smile is bright and infectious. He was a bright light, talking for hours about the things he loves. Sigh...I am in love He was young and not jaded by fame nor did he have a private life and love to protect. He was  “straight” was a part of the narrative, but it was a footnote, barely pushed.  Yes, she was in the background, but not in the spotlight. I believed Darren was straight back then so I didn’t pay any attention to questions about his sexuality or his lover. Present to make him straight-because he identifies as straight- but not overbearing. His girlfriend lived across the country and their relationship was new so he didn’t talk about her in interviews. His sexuality was commented on, but not incessantly. in almost every interview he gave in those early years. This is how you handle closeting, you don’t make it a focus and allow the subtly to speak for itself according to me because I’m a closeting expert.  Especially when the individual closeted clearly doesn’t want to hide his/her sexuality, which has been clear from the beginning as he has clearly and consistently said he is straight as early as a 2009 interview. D has done absolutely nothing to suggest he is not straight rebelled against it repeatedly and has attempted on numerous occasions to come out  at least in my head 

That is the version of D that people I fell in love with and that is what i believe is the real my fantasy d. And this fantasy version of D, since Season 4 starting when they moved her to LA, has been almost completely erased, meaning I have to work REALLY SUPER hard to make him seem real.  It happened slowly, the shift and changes were small at first-as one does in a new relationship-, but suddenly she became a part of the conversation, acknowledged as his gf, and by his side constantly-as one does in a relationship as it progresses from first meeting to dating to love They  She not only moved her to LA but put her got a job on the set of G/lee to act as a babysitter because it was in her field and commiserate with her experience.  And concurrent with her move was the introduction of W and the complete public break down of the CC friendship and this is when TPTB  fandom decided it was a good idea to start rumors that C&D hated each other. And then the “I am straight and have a gf” tour happened where he was forced got a little cheesy and decided to bring women on stage every night and sign sing PPG and that awful Pheromones so he could be every girl’s teenage dream and I’m pissed that I wasn’t one of those girls...or a teenager. 

And yes, this is when the questionable behavior began and D took on the straight frat boy douche persona around her because apparently I had not been paying any attention to Darren prior to this time. He wrote Me & My Dick years before this but I didn’t notice.  This is when we stopped getting the real D DAPPERMAN on SM and started getting his team and PBB posting in his name and every time he doesn’t sound like DAPPERMAN, I blame it on his team. This is one way I keep the fantasy Darren alive.  This is when the fandom began its great divide- those that believe that what they see is what they get, who accept Darren for who he is, and who enjoy the glimpses into his life that he shares versus those of us who have created an entirely false narrative that fits our fantasy. Being a ccer is exhausting because nothing Darren does fits our narrative and we constantly have to come up with excuses for why that is. Excuses like TPTB, contracts, his team pretending to be him on his social media, and how he is “forced” to sing songs on tour or say things in interviews or yell at 14 yo kids. Just read this manifesto and you will see all of the things we have to do to see our Darren.  and D was forced to   asked about his sexuality, just like he has been since he started doing interviews for Glee publicly address his . It seems to me that he was asked about his sexuality repeatedly which increased significantly during H/edwig and that sorta makes sense since he has now played two LGBTQ characters in a row and the questions were often asked by journalists whose job it is to actually get answers. Maybe I was just paying more attention to his sexuality because Hedwig was right when I discovered Crisscolfer.

But even during H/edwig - despite the sudden straight push -now 6 years into Darren saying he identified as straight- he was still bright and present (aka gay?).  He did as required, but on stage, at the stage door, in interviews, he was still D.  And then they sent him he went to Italy for 6 weeks to do a movie and during that time the shift happened. When he came back, the PR games were heightened aka Mia quit her job to travel with Darren and open their dream bar and it has only gotten exponentially worse every day that has passed since-at least for me.  She became not just his gf, but the absolute focal point of his public and private life ya know as couples in love tend to do.  This is when it became impossible to be a d fan without seeing her. This is when I became obsessed with hating and bullying Mia. This is when I started stalking her obsessively so that I am sure to see her. The stalking is all good, it’s part of my job to know what she is doing at all times so I can let the fandom know. 

And the problem with M is she is divisive to me and the ccers who are entitled to have a say in Darren’s personal life. She is on record treating fans deplorably even though there is NO record of her treating fans deplorably, I will continue to claim she does without giving any credible evidence this is true.. She made D yell at a 14 year old girl.  Darren is a big boy and 14 yo’s who behavior abhorrent shouldn’t get a pass so he told her off. She thrives on controversy and making D suffer. She sits in the background and lets Darren shine, rarely ever having anything to say when he is working and yet I obsess about what she is thinking and I pretend she really says all of the things I imagine in my jealousy-fueled head.  She has publicly treated him like an ass and has held herself out to be better than him and acts like he should be grateful she is in his life. She has only ever been gracious to fans but I am stark raving jealous and unhinged from reality so I make up all sorts of backstories to photos where Mia is simply standing next to Darren. Oh and I have never met her.  She acts like an elitist instead of being grateful for the very privileged life she lives because he family is filthy rich and her association with D. I’m so fucking jealous. Her friends are bratty and immature and they act like college students on their social media  that have has nothing to do with Darren’s  in life but party around the clock so  I am not sure why her friends matter to me except I’m on a role and I can’t stop. My friends are assholes (hey @flowersintheattic254, hey @cassie1022, hey Leka-1998) who bully a women they don’t even know and I’m still their friend... so maybe Mia’s friends shouldn’t matter to Darren’s fans.  She’s recorded herself rolling a joint in a parked car after a night of recording herself posting a handful of other pics were posted that night showing them having a good time. There was what looked like an alcoholic drink on a photo or two drinking and doesn’t even get reprimanded mooooommmm, MOM! Mia is rolling a joint...don’t touch me,...MOM! Don’t touch me, I’m going to tell mom..MOOOOOOOM! She wore a Tits of Clay band merch boobs shirt to the inaugural EF, an event marketed for families, to embarrass D and pull focus and I know this because she told me remember I make up all sorts of stories when I see a photo.  She claims she wants privacy but their entire public lives are blasted all over SM  I desperately stalk her, following everyone who might ever post a photo of her despite the fact that D has repeatedly stated he craves privacy he doesn’t social media and he is a private person who finds giving up his privacy really difficult and he is an emotional SENTIMENT hoarder I never get that right and has asked her not to post pics one time he told the story that when he was new to Glee, Mia posted a photo of the two of them on her Facebook that he wanted to keep for himself because he loved the photo so much.  She has not respect for him. She has a private Instagram and only posts pics of Darren on her public Snapchat when they go to big public events together. 

And D acts out around her more often than not.  Darren adores her. Add they now have him picking fights with fans on SM over her (we know it is not him but the GA doesn’t).  He pushes back when fans bully his wife. I pretend it isn’t him pushing back but it’s stupid for me to claim it isn’t him when it so clearly is him. If I accept it is him, then I have to think about my own behavior and the cc behavior that drives him to push back. Speaking of his SM, it is an absolutely mess punny and hilarious. This man is insanely intelligent, we all know two or three times he mentioned he has deleted and reposted things due to grammatical errors . and they represent him deplorably, fail to project his voice, and make him look like an asshole I hate punny silly Darren so I rage every time he posts in that voice. The only time I like him is if he is DAPPERMAN- boring, upstanding & polite and formal. 

Then we have the bar. Do not even get me started on the bar because I’m stark raving mad.  I do not understand how anyone can justify it and yet it is popular and people have a great time there.  He is the straight male owner of a bar that glorifies naked women, calls them sluts, names drinks after large breasts, has grotesque names like Period Sex (I WOULD NEVER) and Golden Showers (What is that?), cheap innuendo and theme nights that are beyond derogatory and yet, the more I think about it, that seems exactly like what a straight, male, bar owner would do. If I thought this was him DAPPERMAN and what he loves (as she ignores all of the times Darren has gushed about connecting to people through songs at the bar), I would turn away from him so fast my head would spin because I hate everything about Darren -the man he really is - but I know he is DAPPERMAN and he will come back to me.   Because that bar, that is misogynistic not my style... it makes me very uncomfortable, it’s too sex positive and at times it’s openly queer.  It’s filled with debauchery and I don’t understand it.  Not hating one woman because I am so jealous of her sexual freedom, her lifestyle, her money, her husband... I think she is pure evil even if everybody who knows her, loves her.

And of course, then we have the way he is presented in the press.  D has built a career playing LGBT+ roles.  His three major roles were gay, queer, gay.  And in every print article, we are reminded he is straight, often multiple times because when he first started playing Blaine, there weren’t a lot of straight men playing strong gay characters on TV.  Now we see that representation matters-asking an actor how he identifies during promo for his 3rd straight  LGBTQ role is hardly out of line.  And then they started making him repeatedly state it.  It is awkward and uncomfortable, He has consistently labeled himself as straight since 2009 and there is no evidence to suggest he is not straight but I can’t stop fantasizing. It makes me angry when I am faced with him reminding me he is straight.  It makes him look ungrateful to the community that he used to get ahead and frankly, makes him sound completely insecure.  I don’t like him if he isn’t gay. I don’t care that he never took advantage of the gay community by pretending to be gay or that he has always been a strong ally, all I can see or hear is “I'm straight”.  I want him to be gay and that is all that matters.  Like he can only play queer if he can repeatedly assert he is straight. Absolute mess. I don’t care that by repeatedly asserting he is straight, he is telling the truth, THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I WANT.  MOOOOOOMMMMMM. I dare anyone to find any other straight actor that addresses their sexuality as often.  You won’t find one. (James Franco)

I’m so jealous I can’t see straight and all I see is an unrealistic  And because of this narrative they have weaved, purely to elevate her, and they have torn him down, they have made him look like a straight jerk in love with a spoiled brat woman. I  hate her I hate her I hate her. Mooooommmm!  Sorry, i know i will get  deserve hate, but it is the my truth unrelated to Darren’s reality. And I’m not just a spoiled brat, I’m a hateful one.  There is nothing redeeming about her ME.

Instead they should have gotten him a respectful beard- ME, who was present but not a focus ME and not beaten into our heads that he is straight (isn’t that how beards work?).  They could have sold straight and done it respectfully and in a manner that i could have accepted by me.  No, I am not accepting closeting and i don’t think it is ok, but again, clearly the closeting was demanded by RIB-Ryan an important out, gay activist and F/ox in a contract they signed 9 years ago...when will it end? and if it had to be the narrative it could have been done in a manner that would have allowed D to remain true to himself and that means gay. They could have got a beard that let him be gay.   

And at this point, they just are making things worse and no one is winning anything.(isn’t everyone but Darren winning in this scenario?) They should free D -let him be GAY -and put him ME out of his MY misery because no amount of promo is going to make her famous outside of her stans as long as she has a private instagram account and Darren doesn't tag her or even post her photo. She just isn’t interesting- I am interesting.  This sham fanfiction I wrote has gone on way too long and completely spun out of control -I can’t make heads or tails out of it anymore- and it is NOT doing no one ME any favors except continuing to hide the my truth, the one thing his team I needs and wants, because MY the truth isn’t pretty.