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lullabyes22-blog · 2 months

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Snippet - Spread Her Wings - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

The prospects of Jinx's dating life loom like a future graveyard...

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

"They'll be working together?"

"Separate spheres. Same goal."

"Nothing stays separate in close quarters. Especially with a teenager’s hormones in the mix.”

Silco's stare locks on hers.

"You said it yourself," Sevika says, "She singled Viktor out. Might be a coincidence. Or..."

"What?"

"Maybe the girl's got a crush."

Silco makes a soft sound expressive of disgust. "Don't be ridiculous."

"It's a theory."

"She does not have a crush. She was testing him."

"Testing him?"

"Assessing his value. As an ally." The thought occurs to him. "I suppose she's growing bored with Magnus. The dog has his uses, but he can't engage the mind."

"And Viktor can?"

"His intelligence is a match for hers. Shocking, considering their age difference."

"That's my point." Sevika's features, upside down, hold a smileless amusement. "Viktor's not a child. He's not a dog. He's a grown man. And Jinx..."

Silco preempts the rest. "She is only seventeen."

"Only? How many seventeen-year-olds are capable of blowing up an entire city, or taking down an Enforcer cavalcade singlehandedly? Let's not forget the time she hijacked a fucking airship. Or the time she took out a roomful of Slickjaws armed with nothing but six color pencils. You've set her loose on the world. She's got the experience of a war veteran." Her jaw sets. "The baggage, too."

"Your point?"

"My point is, her tastes are different from the average girl's." The corner of her lip curls. "Older men get to be a nasty habit. They're all about control. And when you're used to being a little monster, you enjoy getting put in your place. It's a headfuck. Like playing chicken with a loaded gun. And we both know how much Jinx likes guns."

"You're saying Viktor would take advantage of her." The words are clipped; the tone, icy. "That he'd play into her trust."

"If not Viktor, then someone else. She's not a kid anymore. She'll be a woman soon. And she'll catch the eyes of every fucker out there, sooner or later." Her hand never ceases its small caresses. But her stare holds his: challenging. "She's gonna catch the eyes of a certain type in particular."

"What type is that?"

"You know. The hellraisers. The risk-takers. The ones living for a thrill to top all thrills." Quieter: "Like you at that age."

A vein pulses in Silco's left temple. "You are implying she'll find a lover soon."

"More than one."

"Hardly."

It comes out sharp enough to take a head off the shoulders. Yet the creeping tide of possessiveness is very real. All that dilutes it is the knowledge that Jinx has—so far—seldom expressed an interest in either boys or girls.

It isn't that she is oblivious to her own charms or their effect on others. Silco has taught her to weaponize her appearance with the same deft precision as a blade. Yet she's never shown an inclination to go prowling, either. Certainly not the way Silco used to at her age. A casualty of premature initiation, or his own base nature; his mind was always acutely attuned to the sensual.

Typically, his own child's budding sexuality is a subject best avoided. The few times it's come up has been pithy summations from his network: She gets off on booms, not bodies.

Unspoken but blatant: Freak.

Most are convinced Jinx is a rare species of deviant. Someone more gratified by mind-fuckery than the primal simplicity of teenaged hormones. If she were, Silco wouldn't be shocked. Hell, he'd encourage it. There are few more intoxicating modes of control than insinuating yourself into peoples' thoughts, playing hell with their emotions, seeping into their psyches in an act of irreversible infusion. In face of that, sex pales in comparison.

But outsiders have always tenaciously clung to the notion of Jinx as a monster.

So, Silco concedes, has he.

Jinx is still a growing girl. A girl exposed to every stripe of brutality—and yet spared the worst by virtue of his own aegis. She's never before declared it smothering; never rebelled against his rules. The issue has always been unwanted people wanting her.

Now Sevika is telling him she might want people back. Not just want them. Crave them. The same way Silco had craved Vander, or Nandi.

Until it'd all soured in a bath of blood.

"Viktor is not Jinx's type," he says. "Nor is she his."

"Yeah?"

"The boy's never touched a woman. Let alone bedded one."

"You're saying—?" Sevika's brows wing sky-high. "Huh. Explains why there's never been rumors."

"My sources are reliable. The boy lives like a monk. The closest he's come to a relationship is Talis, who is so obtuse he missed a mile-wide opportunity." He lapses into musing. Her nails lightly raking his scalp have a strangely meditative effect. "I'd wager that's part of the reason Viktor and Jinx found each other. They're both outliers. The odd ones out." He thinks of Viktor's expression at the gala, when he and Jinx bid each other goodnight: courtesy that hid a strange kinship. "He won't touch her. Not that way."

"And the next one who does?" Sevika looms in. Her dark hair sluices over her shoulders, like a pair of wings. She's letting it grow, finally, past the nape of her neck. It suits her. "The next one who sees her and wants her and goes for it?"

"Jinx can take care of herself."

"What if she wants 'em to touch her back?"

Silco's good eye narrows. "Are you under the impression I'd forbid her?"

"I know you would." Her tone brooks no argument. It's a blunt statement. "But that's not the point. You can't treat her like a little girl forever. She's got too much curiosity. Soon, she's gonna start exploring. And it won’t stop at sex. It'll be the world, next. Once she's had a taste, she'll want it all. She's a firecracker, Silco. Always has been. The question is: are you ready?"

"Ready?"

"For her to spread her wings?"

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #forward but never forget/xoxo #forward (never forget)/xoxo #arcane jinx #jinx #arcane viktor #viktor #arcane sevika #sevika #arcane ekko #ekko #sevilco #silco x sevika

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frostybearpaws · 12 days

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sibling line up

(from left to righ), Gaia, Sif, and Atlas

#sevilco fankids #sevilco #arcane

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in-sistant · 7 months

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I'm vending at a con in a few months but instead of making things I can sell, they are giving me brainrot But I also finished a surplus of Arcane charms, so deserve a little treat (Silco's vest is not specifically for the ship art, this man would not wear hearts bc he's "in love", I just saw it on Pinterest and since this is revived Silco and Silco got shot in the heart, I thought it fit just overall.)

#arcane #arcane lol #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #arcane fanart #sevika #lol silco #silco #sevilco

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zkyfall · 1 year

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The warmth of an Old Flame

aka I remember to crosspost things here sometimesss 😷

#silco #sevika #silco x sevika #sevilco #arcane fanart #my art

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smallhorizons · 2 years

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Hi hi! I was wondering if you are still writing your the scientific method series?

Hello! Yes, I am - I’ve gotten rather sidetracked with some other projects, but I have about 3.5k written for the Zaundads meet-cute (it involves labor unions, a protest gone wrong, and a concussion) and lots of notes and unpolished discord ramblings for several other fics in the series. My problem right now is that I have several fics I’m torn between working on, as well as some casual collaborative writing projects with friends, so my attention keeps bouncing around like a ping pong, lol.

To whet your appetite, here are my active Arcane WIPs (not including fics that are just in the outline, brainstorm, or discord rambling stages, because otherwise this list would get ridiculous):

Zaundads meet-cute for the scientific method series. Pre-relationship Zaundads, implied established Sinco, rated teen. 3.5k, 75% of first draft done?)

(Mostly) canon-compliant Silco character study that I’ve been working on off and on for like. 5 months. Lmao. Zaundads, Silco & Jinx, mature. (4.6k, 50% of first draft done)

Two-part omega verse with feral cat boy Silco. Zaundads, first part teen, second part explicit. (6.2k - second part is drafted, first part is 50% drafted)

Extremely filthy alpha/alpha omegaverse bottom!sub!Vander with daddy kink, gender play, and age play that may never see the light of day because I get embarrassed every time I look at the document, lmao. Zaundads, explicit. (1.7k, 50% drafted)

Service sub Silco rewarding Sevika for her hard work. Sevilco, explicit. (1k, 30% drafted)

Short and sweet trans fem Silco transition fic that was MEANT to be written for trans arcane week, oops. Zaundads, teen. (500, 30% drafted)

Thank you for your interest & your patience! It means a lot that you would reach out asking about the series. I was really blown away by the response, and I’m thrilled that folks enjoyed it.

I hope you have a good day! 💜

#osiris rambles on #arcane

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eurydia · 2 years

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king and queen of Zaun

#arcane #league of legends #silvika #silco x sevika #sevilco #idk if the ship exists but here's this sketch! I think they're both neat <3 #i like to call them mommy and daddy of zaun lmao #silco arcane #sevika #sevika arcane #arcane fanart #lol fanart #TW Smoking #cw smoking

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loyaltyearned · 2 years

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My sev threads rn:

Aboutta kill jinx (x4)

Yearning for her dad

Being gay and doing crime

#ooc #just a thoughy #shes gay and wants to kill #thats it #sevilco

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thenationofzaun · 1 year

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Sevika is like. You and I are likeminded people and I share your deepest desire more than anyone else and you gave me a renewed sense of hope during a hopeless time and for that I sacrificed a piece of myself to keep you safe. I also understand you better than anyone but with that understanding comes the acute knowledge that I will never be your number one person which is fine. I don't have to be to do my duty to you and I am incredibly secure in myself and my position but. It does sting a bit. You also lowkey trigger my daddy issues from the way I watch you cherish this kid in your life when I had a complicated relationship with my own father and I fucking hate that kid but I feel for YOU and I'm torn between wanting to kill her and wanting to help you but sometimes I'm tempted to kill you too because of all the BS you let her get away with. But I can't kill you because you're the only mf I respect around here and the only one I can actually say I believe in. And I also know that the loving father in you that I feel for and respect is a gaping weakness on the path we both walk, and I'm willing you with every fibre of my being to see sense and be the cutthroat monster I know you can be, the one I need, or else neither of us is getting what we always dreamed of. And I try to tell you this in a way I know you'd understand and I can only hope you listen because while I'm always there to save you I don't know if I always will be or if I'll even want to be because how long can I stand to put up with this shit? But you never do. And then you die. At the hands of that kid you loved so beautifully, so stupidly. And I wasn't there to protect you. And our dream is lost.

#spreading the sevilco agenda #it's actually crazy how conflicted sevika feels for silco's love for jinx #she despises jinx and hates how damaging that relationship has been for the cause.#but she also deeply feels for silco because she remembers what it was like with her own father and witnessing silco's devotion to jinx #causes a twinge of sad nostalgia in her. that she hates. because how dare she feel anything but searing hatred for something jinx-related #anyway i firmly believe if jinx was more disciplined and responsible and wasn't such a detriment to their goals #sevika would be extremely tolerant of her. but jinx is gonna jinx and i love her bitchass for it. sorry sevika <3 #silco x sevika #sevilco #arcane #silco #sevika #jinx #arcane netflix

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lullabyes22-blog · 1 year

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I am legit spoiled rotten rn<3

Sharing beautiful gifs designed by @lipsticksandmolotovs from the literal masterpiece of an artwork by @shahs1221

Follow them on Twitter | Patreon | Ko-fi

Seriously. Feast thine eyes.

All images are used with permission and deepest awe!

Thank you so much, Lipsticks, and heaps of smooches to ShahS for sharing their talent with us all<333

A Jazzed-up video version can be found here.

Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO on AO3

Playlists, meta, fanart and tons more here.

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frostybearpaws · 14 days

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okay so I don't have a a fully story idea for these three characters

BUT

Sevilco fankids :D

the twins: Gaia & Atlas

the irish (LoL equivalent of ireland) triplet: Sif

imagine your child comes inside at six in the morning hold a screeching feral cat in your face asking if he can keep it. Well Gaia did that, he had so many scratches after that his arms were wrapped in bandages for a week and he looked like a mummy (or Singed)

Atlas got into a fight with another sumpsnipe and got his baby incisors knocked out, he still pummeled the brat that knocked his teeth out, and then he proudly walked up to his parents with a bloody mouth showing them his teeth. )not a good day)

Sif, because of Sevika's exposure to magic in the cannery, has the ability to wield magic and discovers them with the sets a person tailing her on fire. She was seven. (no one, not even Sif, knew she could do this until that point, fun times)

Gaia is a small kid until he has his growth spurt and skyrockets to six four, other kids tried to pick on him and Atlas always started fights with him defending his brother. (these two are funny because Gaia is fifteen minutes older than Atlas and yet Atlas is the more dominant twin)

Atlas likes to climb shit, but one time he tried scaling a wall and fell ten feet to the concrete ground. It was a miracle that he didn't break anything, he was very bruised up though. (he still likes to climb things too, this little accident didn't stop him)

Gaia was the first one to master knife skills and knew how to fuck someone up when he was about six years old.

Sif was a pickpocket. She didn't even need the things she stole, she just like being able to slip things away from people without them noticing until later. She has so far stolen: a few coins, a walnut, a weird rock, one of Sevika's hand rolled cigarettes, and almost nabbed one of Silco's cigars.

Atlas used to bite people during fights so if he came back covered in blood there was about a seventy/third chance that it wasn't his.

Jinx used to dress Atlas, Gaia, and Sif up in little handmade clothes she made when they were babies.

When Sif was eight and her brothers were nine they tried to get her to summon something for funzies. (it didn't work but they a harsh scolding from Silco)

to be continued when I can remember more

#sevilco #sevika #silco #arcane sevika #arcane silco #arcane jinx #arcane

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lullabyes22-blog · 2 months

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Snippet - Tipping Point - Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO

Silco forces Vander's hand beyond all recourse.

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

"They're like a cult," Vander said, their last night together.

Silco didn't glance up. He'd been sitting at the Drop's table, hands laced under his chin, poring over a map. Black ink, red ink. Blue strings running in between, like the veins in a corpse. He'd been at it all evening, and his eyeballs vibrated. So did the rest of him.

Usually, he'd take the percolating mania and channel it into Sevika. She was a solid presence: always available, always hungry. By now, he'd all but moved into hers and Nandi's flat. There was gossip, as there was bound to be. Neither he nor Sevika gave a toss.

Nandi was gone, and he couldn't shake her loss.

But at least he could fuck his way out of the grief.

That's what he and Sevika did, most nights: fucked, then slept, then fucked again. Mornings, they'd wake with sour mouths, and sour moods. He'd brew her tea, and she'd suck his cock under the table. Afterward, they'd share a plateful of sump-vole fritters, and plot the day's course. Then she'd leave for her patrol, and he'd go to work at the Drop. Evenings, they'd rendezvous at Jericho's. A little more planning, a little more fucking. She'd rub his shoulders, or he'd knead her calf-muscles. She'd feed him bits of smoked sardines, and he'd eat her out until her toes curled. Then, after the drinks were drunk and the dishes were washed, they'd fall into bed again.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

It wasn't love—neither of them was ready for that. But it was easy. It was enough. A rhythm he could fall into; a routine she could count on. Sevika wasn't Nandi. Everything about her was a fraction heavier, harder, coarser. She wasn't soft; she wasn't sweet. But her body was a good one, and her mind a keen one. Her temper could flare; but her humor could cut.

And her laugh, though rare, chased all the shadows out of the gloom.

He could live with that. Hell, he could live for it. Even—love it? In time. When Zaun was theirs, and the dead laid to rest.

Not that night.

That night, the maps wouldn't stop jittering. His mind kept running in circles. Sevika wasn't due till late. There was only Vander.

Only Vander, and his looming shadow.

And Silco's own: darkening the map.

"A cult, you say?" he said. A fortnight, he thought. The time's nearly up. "That's high praise."

"Is it?" Vander's chin jerked towards the flapping door, where a pair of scrappers had just slunk out. "That lot were practically beggin' for commands. Looked at you like you were a bloody god." He grimaced. "Makes my skin crawl."

"They're useful." Silco stirred the page with a fingertip. "Steady hands."

"An' sharp knives." Vander's brows bristled. "I ain't seen a lick of their faces, but I bet they're young. Too young for this kind of job."

"We were all too young."

"And look what happened." Vander crossed his arms over his chest, his face granite except for the vein throbbing in his temple. His jowls were furred with stubble; all attempts at grooming had ceased the past few weeks. "The Lanes are crawlin' with their sort lately. They'd kill their own mothers for coin. An' you've got a talent for pickin' the worst."

"Perhaps," Silco rejoined, "I prefer company with an ounce of ambition."

"Ambition's the least of their bloody traits!"

"Vander, use your thick head. We're at war." Silco tapped the maps with an idleness that belied his irritation. "And war needs more than soldiers and stalwart hearts. It needs spies and saboteurs. People who'll do the dirty work without compromising the cause. I have my contacts, and they have theirs. If it weren't for them, we'd have no way to ship our goods."

"We wouldn't have a bunch of cutthroats loose in the Lanes, neither."

"We've always had cutthroats."

"Not this many!" Vander's fist slammed against the table, rattling the glassware. Once, Silco would've jerked. Now, his body-language betrayed nothing. Passions were a volatile commodity; a good leader could ill-afford to succumb to his own. He'd learnt the hard way and meant to profit from the lesson. "They're a fuckin' infestation! Eyes like dead things an' smiles like wolves. They've got no limits. All they want is blood."

"The world's made them that way."

"An' you're the one exploiting 'em."

"I'm offering them a choice."

"Are you?" Vander glowered, looming into his space. "What are their options, huh? Down the gutter, or up the river? They're not loyal, Silco. They're fanatical. To you."

"To us," Silco corrected.

"I didn't ask for a cult!"

"Then maybe you should!"

Their eyes locked from across a flashpoint of inches. In their debates, as a rule, Silco weighed Vander's words before his own. It was a practice borne of equity: no partnership comes without compromise. Lately, though, they never debated. He'd get an earful of strident moralism.

Tonight he'd had enough.

"Right now, our plans are only partially done,” he said. “But unless we get every cutthroat, snitch and sneak-thief on our side, they'll be undone. The Wardens will kill us all. You. Me. Sevika. Benzo. They'll raze the Lanes to the ground, and salt the ashes. And when the smoke clears, the soft ones—the ones like Nandi, like Lika and her girls, like your two boys—will be put to work. All our children will die before they've a chance to live. Is that what you want?"

"Don't make this somethin' it's not." Vander's jaw jutted. "You think I don't want Topside's boot off our necks? You think I wouldn't give anything to make sure our kids breathe easy? You think I don't think back on Bloody Sunday every single damn day? What was lost? What you—" Silco's head tilted, a basilisk lifting, and Vander backed off just enough to avoid his stare. "...what we could've done."

"Could've. Would've. Should've." Silco's eyes descended to subzero. "All excuses for a failure to act now. Or maybe the Hound's losing his teeth?"

Vander's nostrils flared. He unbent to his full height stepped around the counter, a slow, lumbering turn. His shadow engulfed Silco like a fist.

"If you had any idea," he said, a whiskey-waft of heat. "Any. How much I'd like to—"

"To what?" Silco challenged. "Discipline? Force me to obey? Do try. I could use a spot of fun."

Vander seized a fistful of his shirtfront. The next moment, Silco found himself being dragged across the countertop. The whiskey glasses toppled to the floorboards. The ledgers and maps scattered. He was half-slung through the air, the room upside-down before the breath was knocked out of him.

His spine hit the wall, legs dangling. A fist pinned him in place.

Vander's features were contorted, a red-hot fury at once leashed and explosive. His fingers closed around Silco's throat. He didn't squeeze. Not yet. But the threat was there.

"D'you even listen to yourself?" he gritted. "D'you have a shred of decency left? Or did Nandi's death knock it all outta you? She'd be ashamed. To see you. To see what you're doin'!"

Silco let one corner of his mouth curl. "What am I doing?"

"You know damnwell what!"

The nights, he meant.

The plainclothesmen gutted in the shadows. Their bodies left in the open where everyone could see. The edge of Silco's knife never clean when he came home.

"It's not the way," Vander said, a hairline crack in his voice. "You know it isn't."

"You haven't stopped me."

"Stopped you?" Vander's knuckles flexed. "I've tried. Every day since you started. I thought...you'd get it out of your system. You'd snap out of it. But you haven't. You won't. You've gotten a taste for it."

"I have a taste for keeping us alive."

"You have a taste for murder!" Vander shook him. "An' I can't keep turnin' a blind eye. You're the best thing that's happened to the Lanes, Blut. If the Undercity had to choose, they'd have my back. But we'd all be six feet under without you! That's why you need to get your shit together. Because when this is over, I won't let you walk away."

"Threats, Vander?"

"This has gone far enough." Vander's pitch dropped. The Hound's warning rumble. "If you cross the line again, I won't hesitate."

"You won't have to."

"What?"

"The Sheriff has issued a search warrant. In a fortnight, the Enforcers will crack down." Silco's eyes went past Vander's shoulder, where the maps had fallen. "A citywide sweep. We'll lose the advantage. Our networks, our stockpiles. Everything. Unless—"

Vander's hold on his neck tightened. "Unless what?"

"We strike first."

"First." Vander's grip stayed immobile. But his stare was no longer a blister. It was a burn: eating Silco alive. "Fuck. This is what you've been planning."

"A smokescreen."

Silco's fingers folded around Vander's wrist. It didn't budge. Vander was strong; the strongest he'd ever known. Struggling was besides the point. Part of him was already prepared to go all the way. To let go and take Vander with him into the freefall of blackness.

"The Enforcers bodies will divert Topside's attention," Silco went on. "Their patrols will be spread thin. The bodies were all near the Canal Zone. They'll believe our operation was concentrated there. Meanwhile, the guardposts at Bridgeside will be understaffed. We'll deploy the squads to transport the ammo. If everything goes as planned, the Lanes will have the full arsenal by tomorrow night. Then, the real war will begin."

"Blut..."

"Think. You'll have everything. A force. Firepower. Enough to drive Topside out of our streets for good."

Vander's fist clenched and unclenched. His eyes roved the room, the empty stools, the felled glasses, the scattered plans. His shoulders caved inward.

It wasn't surrender. It was a man, bracing himself against a massing storm.

"How could you?" he rasped. "Silco, how could you?"

"There is no other way."

"Sevika... she knows about this?"

"We had a talk."

"A talk," Vander repeated flatly. "Of course. You're her damned messiah now. That girl was always prowlin' for someone to take her old man's place. Someone who'd give her orders. Who'd make her feel strong. I told you not to play games with her. To not lead her on. To not—do this!"

With renewed disgust, Vander shoved him away. Silco swayed but kept his balance. Vander's fingerprints burned around his throat.

"That's why you chose her, isn't it?” Vander went on. “Her gang's the most coordinated in the Lanes. The most ruthless. Our folks respect 'em, but they fear 'em, too. They're perfect for what you've got planned." When Silco stayed silent, he shook his head. "For Janna's sake, Blut. She's barely twenty-two. You were supposed to be her family. Her mentor. Not the person who puts the goddamn matches in her hand!"

Silco snapped. Low-blows made for the deepest cuts.

"You used me first, remember? When I was sixteen and you were twenty-one. You knew I'd do anything for you. You knew I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. You've always known, and still you've never had the guts to do what should be done. So I have. Because someone has to. Someone with a spine, and the balls to take what's theirs."

"Fuckin' hell." Vander's face had changed. The lines carved deep, shadows in the hollows of his cheekbones. He looked both worn to the bone, and blasted open. "All these years. All these years... an' you never let it go. Why couldn't you let it go? Why couldn't you forgive me?"

"Why couldn't you?!"

The air was charged with currents. Silco's body sang. Like a sea-change: skin sloughing off, and something raw and primal birthing itself. Something he'd known was always inside him, and was now in its last throes of transformation. He had no name for it but he knew its shape.

It was a part of him. A monster. Same as Vander's.

"I'm not asking for forgiveness," Silco said softly. "Nor am I giving it. But I am asking you to do what's necessary. For us."

"Us," Vander repeated, the word scraped raw.

"Our city. Because Zaun will die if we don't do this, Vander. So will everyone we love." Silco took a step towards him. Vander shuddered. He felt the tremor. Felt the monster behind it. The two of them: feeding off each other. A decades-long twining of call-and-response. "We can't keep on like this. You. Me. Sevika. Benzo. Lika. We've been fighting our fates since we were children. Now it's time to take the fight to Topside."

"Blut..."

"We can win this. We have the weapons. We have the people. We have the resolve. We just need you."

“Me?”

"You're the Hound of the Underground. Our champion. Because that's not me, Vander. It will never be me. No matter what those scrappers, or Sevika, or you, or anyone says. That's not who I am."

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #forward (never forget)/xoxo #forward but never forget/xoxo #arcane vander #vander #arcane sevika #sevika #arcane zaun #zaun #vanco #vander x silco #snippet #sevilco #silco x sevika

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lullabyes22-blog · 2 months

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Forward but Never Forget/XOXO - Tagging List

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lullabyes22-blog · 2 months

Text

Snippet - Grief - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

A half remembered promise broken...

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

It was only afterward, when dawn's light slanted through the shutters, that the tears came.

"Fuck." Sevika's breath jittered. "Not again."

Silco said nothing. Just held her, awkwardly, as the sobs began. By now, he understood. She wasn't crying for him. Wasn't even crying for herself. It was an ache so far down, words couldn't give it shape. The best he could do was listen.

He'd learned how, with Nandi.

"I'm sorry," Sevika breathed. "This was a shit idea."

"You think so?"

"Fuck, no."

She fitted herself against the sinewy curvature of his body. Watery sunrays slid across the bedspread, nearly touching their twined legs. His fingertips traced the smooth dip above her hipbone. She had none of her sister's softness. But she had her strength. Silco liked strong bodies: the muscles, the scars. Proof of a lifetime's work, and the toll it takes.

Sevika's was young in those days. But the marks were already indelible. There’d be many more before the end.

And he'd be the cause of most.

"I miss her," she said. "I miss her, and she'd hate it."

"Hate what?"

"Seeing me like this." She wiped her webbed lashes. "Seeing me with you."

"She's past seeing." He felt a tremor, and circled her close. "What? It’s true."

"It’s not, Sil. The dead, they're always with us." Her head tipped back, eyes on the ceiling. "Sometimes, I hear her footsteps in the kitchen. I'll be in bed, just waking up. Still rubbing the grit from my eyes. And she'll come floating in, with that glide of hers, holding a cup of tea." Her throat worked. "That's what she’d make me every morning: a cup of tea. She'd put it on the bedside table, nudge me awake, and then go off to the Temple. And I'd lay there, listening to her footsteps in the hall. Waiting for the door to shut, so I could sneak a smoke with the window cracked."

"She knew you smoked in here?"

"She was deaf, not blind. But she let me do it. Said it kept the bugs out." She exhaled a too-wet laugh. "Now the whole place is crawling with roaches. There's stacks of dishes in the sink. Dust on everything. Nothing in the pantry. It's a shithole, and I can't stand to sleep here alone. But… I don’t want to move anywhere else, either. I always thought we'd grow old here. We'd die together. In this flat. On this bed."

"Like invalids?"

"Like sisters." She lay a palm against his chest, learning the cadence of his heart. "You’ve never had any, have you?"

"No." Silco was quiet a moment. "Just brothers."

"Vander."

"Before. Long ago." His fingertips stroked, lightly, up the vertebra of her spine. "I barely remember anymore. Except for the dirt. The hunger. The cold. I never gave a damn about dying in a bed. All I wanted was not to die at all."

"You haven't changed much."

His palm found the nape of her neck, and rested there. "I’ve no plans to."

"Hope so." She smiled, crescent-shaped, against the damp crook of his neck. "Hope you’ll always stay the same hard-driving bastard from the mines. With a bergamot in his pocket and a big speech for everything." Her eyes met his, darkly sheened. "Don't change, Sil."

"If death's the alternative, I'll do my best." He cupped her chin. "What about you?"

"Same." She bit the hollow of his palm. "Just a good-time girl from Oldtown. No money, but a mean right hook."

"Meanest in the Lanes."

"It's all my old man left me." Her eyes slid to the window. Daylight was cutting through the slats: the night was slipping away. "He was a piece of shit. Not always, mind. When Amma was alive, he was decent. Couldn't help himself. She was like Nandi, you see. Soft. Shining. Brought out the best in everybody."

"He loved her?"

"More than life. That was his endearment for her. Jaan. It's from the old country. Means life. He'd sit there at the fighting pits, the big brute, with bloody knuckles and a split lip. But the minute she floated into the stands, he'd be all mush. Like a little kid. You should've seen him." Her laugh vibrated against Silco's skin. "She spoke the language of the mystics. Same as Nandi. When she'd go to the Temple, he'd wait outside on the steps. All respectful, like a foot soldier. When she came out, he'd have little gifts for her from the market. Offerings, almost. Jasmine buds to braid into her hair. Cheap stone rings. Little sachets of perfumed incense. Sometimes, a book, so she could read to him. Her folk were lettered. She had a calligrapher's hand, and a scholar's fluency. Evenings, she'd teach us all: me, Rohan, Nandi. My old man, too. He couldn't pen more than his name, but he'd hang on her every word. Like the rest of us did. It's what she deserved." Sevika shut her eyes. "Then she died birthing Raakesh. And everything decent in my old man died too."

Silco thought of Mother, and her slow unspooling into madness after Daddy's drowning.

"Grief does that," he murmured. "It finds the cracks—and splits them wide." His palm smoothed a soothing path: her shoulderblades, her spine, the small of her back. "You were young when your father turned."

"Old enough to remember the difference." She nestled closer, her knees curling. "You couldn't unsee it. Nobody could. It was like an open wound. It bled all over. He bled all over too. With his brawls, and his bottles, and his fists. In the streets, he'd take it out on whoever crossed his path. At home, he'd take it out on us. Me and Nandi. Rohan. Sometimes even Raakesh, and he wasn't more than a tot." Her jaw gritted. "That was the worst. Seeing the fear in his eyes when our old man shambled home. The same eyes Amma had. She passed 'em down to all her children—and he couldn't look at them without losing his mind. Every day, we were a reminder of who was missing. A slap in the face. So he'd dish one out in kind."

"Nandi protected you."

"In more ways than I can count."

"And now, you're trying to do the same."

"Huh?"

Silco's thumb found the notch of her chin, and tipped her head up. Her eyes were a bloodshot well. "You think I'm on a self-destructive tear. Same as your father."

Her lips parted, quivering. Then: a sigh. "I know what grief does, too. Especially when it's not just grief."

"Meaning?"

"I told you. There's too much rage in you, and no place to put it." She lay her palm over his heart. "Nandi knew. She could tell right off. She tried to keep the worst of it at bay. She'd soothe you, and talk to you, and hold you. That was her gift, seeing into the hearts of people. Knowing what they needed. But her gift couldn't fix this. Couldn't fix you. She could only stanch the bleeding." Her fingers curled, as if capturing his heartbeat. "Now she's gone. And you've got nothing to hold you back. No one."

Silco said nothing. He only took her hand, and held it.

"I know," Sevika goes on, "what everyone says. How she was better than me, and all the rest. The good one. The pretty one. The patient one. But that didn't get her anywhere, did it? I'm the one still here."

"So you are."

"You are too." She blinked hard. But a tear slipped loose against her will. "You're all that's left. Of her. Of any of it."

His thumb traced the teardrop's path. "You've got it backwards, love."

"No. It's true. You're more like her than I'll ever be. You both had that specialness, that—I don't know. That grace. Like you were from a different world. Like you could change ours, with just a whisper. Vander's got it too. Only his burns bright as the sun. Yours… it's something else. Something down deep." Her lips were dry. They caught against his, like the words. "Don't lose it, Sil."

He gave her nape a firm squeeze. "I won't if you won't."

"I'm serious. When we take the fight Uppside, you've got to keep it wired. Don't go off the rails." She gripped him fiercely. "I'm no good with words, but I've got two fists. They're yours, as long as you don’t lose your head." Her voice cracked. "Don’t lose it. Promise me."

#arcane #arcane league of legends #silco #arcane silco #forward (never forget)/xoxo #forward but never forget/xoxo #nandi #arcane zaun #arcane piltover #sevilco #silco x sevika

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