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black-klok-youth-pastor · 1 year

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Charles and MMA Theory

Okay, I came up with this theory a while ago (and has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust for months until this point) but haven’t really shared it in that many places. Bare in mind this is also a sort of weird fan theory of a fan theory, that being the popular Dadlacia theory (the one where Salacia is Charles’s biological father in case you don’t know) so feel free to take this with a massive grain of salt, as we gather around the Pepe Silvia board to ask this one question that just clicked one day. That being:

What if Charles Offdensen and the Metal Masked Assassin were half brothers?

Now admittedly both characters are wrapped in mystery, so of course there’s gonna be a lot of fan speculation on both of them, albeit the main smoking gun is that we at least learn MMA’s backstory in Doomstar Requiem (in song form):

“Born and left alone Never knew his mother Who was killed during birth but left him a brother”

This verse seems to suggest that MMA and 216’s father wasn’t in the picture, either by neglect or being absent altogether, essentially leaving 216 to raise MMA by himself (which is particularly messed up since they seem to be a bit close in age). Sure in complete fairness in a sung-through musical like this we don’t have time for every single detail, but the specific word choice intrigues me.

And if you know the basic Dadlacia theory y’know where I’m going with this, mainly the infamous scene in the cold open of Fatherklok where Charles is suspiciously wistful about how it feels to lose the strength of a father’s touch and that his father had strong hands. Now am I saying all fatherless characters in the series are Salacia’s children? Not really. Like for example, I’m kind of skeptical of the fan theory that Salacia is Skwisgaar’s father, if not the real dad of everyone in Dethklok. The Skwisgaar one I can kind of buy even if I have some theories that I think are better but the latter I’m not as fond of since it kind of ruins the point of the found family aspect (honestly the only variant of this theory I can see is the ones involving Salacia only being their father in a past life, like the sort of Kronos figure in the pantheon but we’d be here all day if we dwelled into that).

What I’m getting at is that part of it kind of goes into the “but why?” aspect since by all accounts. After all, Salacia is immortal as far as we can tell so on paper he wouldn’t exactly feel the need to sire children. Short version as I go to my now outdated headcanons post, my sort of theory to that is that he has a plan not unlike Ego from Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 that involves fathering as many children as possible that through trial and error would grant him offspring powerful enough to serve his machinations. Human beings to him are pawns after all, why would his own offspring be different?

Although I freely admit a good chunk of my theorizing has been on the thematic level. The lore of Metalocalypse has taken a lot of influence from various mythology and religions, and what better way to tie into the themes of brotherhood throughout the series than good old sibling rivalry which can be found everywhere from Set and Osiris to Kalervo and Untamo to (of course) Cain and Abel, particularly how one brother more or less (except not really) kills the other.

Although funnily enough, Charles is simultaneously Abel and Seth in this metaphor considering how they didn't even meet each other until after 216's death.

#Metalocalypse spoilers #CW: blood/gore #metalocalypse #dethklok #fan theories #metalocalypse army of the doomstar #army of the doomstar #charles offdensen #charles foster offdensen #metal masked assassin #mr. salacia #salacia #...actually wait...IS THAT WHY SETH (as in Pickles' brother) IS NAMED THE WAY HE IS?!!

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atmilliways · 3 years

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On the 6th day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee…

Dec 18 - Crossover with your favorite holiday movie

An AU in which Dethklok is perhaps a little less of a ubiquitous presence in the music industry, but still big enough to have Dethklok Inc. and Dethklok Australia. Seth still runs the latter with his wife Amber and their son.

When Abigail takes a vacation to the Land Down Under, she ends up dating the most amazing woman she’s ever met and staying longer than expected. Amber invites her to come back to the states with her to her husband’s parents’ house for Christmas, so they can spend the holidays together. The only catch? It turns out that Seth hasn’t told his parents about the open marriage like Amber thought he had, so Abigail has to play the “friend” around Amber’s in-laws.

Chapter 1 of ?

Right now, my favorite movie is Happiest Season (2020) and the main character in that is named Abby, so this happened. Instead of the girlfriend needing to come out to her conservative parents, Seth needs to come out to his parents about being in an open marriage and tell them that Amber has a girlfriend.

I highly recommend this movie (if you do not have any squicks about The Fear that comes before coming out, but to be fair the movie handles it very well)! Directed by Clea DuVall, contains Kristen Stewart and Daniel Levy.

Happiest Seasonklok

It had been a whirlwind year for Abigail, starting with a New Year’s party she’d attended on a whim and, at the stroke of midnight, kissing the prettiest girl at the party and exchanged Instagram usernames to stay in touch. Within hours her feed had been flooded with selfies of the two of them, as well as a DM with a phone number and the message, Call me. xoxo Amber ;) From then on, they’d been practically inseparable.

Right away, Amber had been very upfront about having a husband and a kid. Abigail had hesitated over that one, but the kid wasn’t too bad and the husband. . . . Well, meeting him pretty much took care of that. Seth was the kind of guy who thought very highly of himself despite having little reason to do so; he absolutely adored Amber, and somehow managed to be completely unaware that she was in charge. As soon as he started gunning for a threesome Amber told him to cut it out, and he did. Never brought it up again, like the idea had just been highlighted and deleted. It was hard to be bothered about a guy like that.

Amber had taken her everywhere. What started as a one month vacation in Australia turned into three. Abigail’s new partner had Connections, and before she knew what was happening she had a work visa, a short term lease apartment, and producing jobs lined up left and right.

Everything had been wonderful, and while sunbathing in the Australian December rays and talking idly about the difference in seasons and the complete lack of snow, Amber had looked over with a grin, taken her hand, and asked her to come with them back to the States with her and her family to Seth’s parents for Christmas. And Abigail had said yes.

She regretted that now. Because halfway through the flight to Wisconsin on a generously appointed private jet, Seth had turned to Amber and said, “Hey, babe? You remember how I visited my parents for my mom’s birthday back in June and told them about our whole, y’know, open marriage deal?”

Amber turned slowly from playing with the baby and said, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, see, I kiiiiiinda didn’t tell them.”

Immediately Amber looked over at Abigail and mouthed, Crap, I’m sorry.

“‘Cause see, my dad’s runnin’ fer mayor of Tomahawk and there’s all this political bullshit about it, you know how it is. Anyway, it just didn’t seem like a good time, y’know? And there’s this big potential backer coming to the family Christmas party, so it didn’t really seem like the good time to bring that up before we get there . . . but I swear, babe, I’ll tell them as soon as Christmas is over.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “God, fine.”

A few minutes later Seth excused himself to use the bathroom—though it was pretty clear once he gestured for his bodyguard to follow him that he was mostly just using it as a convenient place to do drugs. Melmord followed with a look of friendly yet philosophical boredom, patting his pockets in search of whatever they were skulking off to snort, swallow, or smoke.

Abigail was at Amber’s elbow in a second. “Fine? Are you kidding me?”

“Look,” Amber sighed, “Molly and Calvert are fine. I married their golden boy who they think can do no wrong.” Seeing Abigail gearing up to comment on that, she shook her head. “Don’t ask me why they think that. Honestly their other son, Pickles, is way more successful and definitely the reason Seth got the Dethklok Australia job, but there’s this whole truckload of family history there, it’s a big thing. I don’t like that Seth hasn’t told them yet either, but I’d really rather not put up with bitchy in-laws all Christmas . . . so at this point, it’s better for everyone and just wait.”

“What makes you think Seth is going to tell them after Christmas?” Abigail demanded.

Amber laughed. “Honey please. I’ll make sure he does it, don’t worry about that. But are you going to be okay with this for just a few days?”

Crossing her arms with a huff, Abigail kissed her on the cheek as an answer and sank into an adjacent seat. “I don’t like that he waited until we’re practically there to tell us.”

The baby reached up from the playmat spread out on the floor and patted her knee. “Abi biccy!”

Amber ruffled her child’s tuft of dark red hair. “That’s right, Abi needs a cheer-up biscuit.”

“Choccy,” the baby insisted, and flashed a beatific smile that featured exactly one tooth.

“Ooh, a chocolate biscuit.” Amber winked at her girlfriend. “Aren’t you the favorite today.”

It wasn’t long before the plane began its descent into a town so small that Abigail was surprised they even had a runway. (She wouldn’t have been surprised if Seth had paid for it and then claimed it as a business expense, though.) A limo drove them through snowy fields with the occasional distant shape of houses. Eventually the house-to-snowy-landscape ratio increased until they were in something vaguely resembling suburbs. When they pulled to a stop in front of one house in particular, Seth bounced out of the car with a shout of, “Hey, Mom and Dad, it’s me, Seth! We’re here!”

Abigail hung back, watching Amber go ahead with the baby in one hip while she stood by the trunk of the limo, waiting for Melmord to uncover her single bag while he pulled suitcase after suitcase out and stacked it on a folding trolley.

“Can you fill me in on what to expect here?” she asked while she waited. She didn’t know Melmord particularly well, beyond the fact that that he sounded like a pack a day sort of guy, but she didn’t get the vibe from him that he would bother to either lie or put any particular spin on things.

Melmord shrugged. “Seth can do no wrong, his bro Pickles can do no right, and I’m pretty sure Seth’s parents think your an orphan he’s helping out for charity.”

“Uh. . . . Why?”

Melmord shrugged. “Because that’s what he told them. Don’t,” he added quickly, catching the look on her face, “say you could just kill him for it. I’m contractually obligated to physically attack the source of any threats. Just roll with it, if you try to correct them they’ll just say shit like, ‘Oh, you’re so brave.’” He held out her bag. “Order’s up, in you go.”

Amber took it with a sigh, already regretting the decision to tag along.

It was going to be a long, long weekend.

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse au #12 days of dethmas #ambergail #abigail remeltindtdrinc #amber (metalocalypse)#seth (metalocalypse)#seth's offspring (metalocalypse)#mtl spoof on Happiest Season (2020)

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