“Merlin! You cannot put the King of Camelot in a wheelbarrow!”

Merlin put Arthur in the wheelbarrow. “Gaius, there aren’t any other options.”

“Did you even try to think of any, or was that the first thing that popped into your head? Did it even cross your mind what would happen if you got caught?”

Merlin innocently shrugged and threw a blanket over the unconscious Arthur. “There. No one will notice.” He picked up the wheelbarrow and wheeled him through the corridors towards the royal bedchamber.

Merlin turned a corner and saw Sir Leon approaching. He’d seen the wheelbarrow. “Good evening, Sir Leon.” Merlin smiled cheerily, having no idea whether it was still evening or not.

“Good morning Merlin.” Sir Leon returned a cheery smile, trying not to look too closely at the wheelbarrow or its contents. “Nice wheelbarrow.”

“Thanks. It’s new.” It wasn’t. “Thought I’d take it for a spin.” Merlin cursed himself that his excuses were so out of practice. He was lucky this was Leon and not anyone else.

“Need any help?”

Merlin sighed, weighing the pros and cons of being honest. “Actually yeah. This is heavy. Could you help me push it to Arthur's room?”

“Sure.” Sir Leon cursed himself for breaking his own rules. He’d got in Merlin’s way and asked questions. Now he was complicit in this- whatever this was. Now he was pushing a wheelbarrow filled with what/who he really hoped was not actually the what/who his mind told him it was.

They wheeled him to the royal chambers, and Merlin quickly checked the room was clear before tucking the royal prat into bed.

Sir Leon watched as Merlin carefully closed the curtains, checking behind them as he did so. Merlin looked under the bed and in between the covers. He took off Arthur's boots and jacket and Leon helped him lift Arthur into the bed. Merlin brushed strands of hair out of Arthur’s face and fluffed up his pillow.

Sir Leon wondered how anyone could ever think of Merlin as anything but purely devoted to Arthur's safety and wellbeing.

“Thanks for your help, Sir Leon.” Merlin whispered as he walked away and opened the door for Sir Leon to leave first. “How’s your family?”

“Um. Good. Great. They’re well. Thank you for asking.” Sir Leon and Merlin chatted amicably through the corridors, acting as though they hadn’t just wheeled the unconscious King of Camelot through the castle in a wheelbarrow and desperately trying not to think about why he was in it in the first place.

From A Series of Unfortunate Excuses on AO3.

big fan of essek thelyss, not the fanon interpretation, which is either "smol bean, tiny fragile elf who's a sweetheart and basically a child" or people mistakenly calling betrayal of one's home country a "war crime" and then proceeding to be flippant about it anyway, but the real Essek

pretentious motherfucker that committed treason bc he though he was smarter than everyone else

learned to float literally just to impress other rich people

canonically neutral evil

basically head spymaster of his country and master of lies but sucks shit lying to his friends

stayed bitchy even after his redemption arc

"there is nothing I would love more than to not be around you all for the remainder of this day"

a space wizard that crushed someone with telekenesis just to show off (the person was already dying)

sexy feet, nice ass, overall hottie

fell in love with a traumatized wizard of his enemy country and it was mutual despite all the betrayal

faggot

gave away state secrets to enemy wizard bc he though he was sexy

discovered time travel with his boyfriend

proceeded to say they shouldn't use time travel (bc now he's a good boy) but was willing to sacrifice everything and help if his bf wanted to use it

once confessed he had such a bad fight with his dad that his dad ran into the demon caves and never returned (essek doesn't feel bad about this at all)

young for an elf but still 120 years old, he called his bf "young man" and flexed on him about how much more evil he is

it has to be said i can’t hold it in anymore: i love how u draw spock sm omg he’s so… idk he reminds me of snuffkin for some reason lol. the most blorbo ever. yeah that’s all 🫶

Such a nice thing to say . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

A quick Snufkin Spock drawing for you then

The people going "it's not a big deal" confuse me. What other character gets shit on by everyone unwarranted and unprompted? What other character is told to not be themselves, because that would be terrible advice for them specifically? None of the devs or writers say that Astarion should be handed over to the Gur hunter and killed by them because as a vampire he's a monster anyway and this way it's a good end and he won't hurt anyone anymore. Lae'zel is brutal and aggressive, but instead of going "haha yeah isn't that so annoying, boo 👎" the devs defend her and say that audiences would not be saying that if she was a man instead. Shadowheart always has something to say, too, about Shar and Selune, and other things, but they don't call her annoying about her religion. Astarion can feed on PC and give you a negative buff, but that's fine. Gale needs a trivial color spray trinket, one of only three(!!) trinkets, and god he's just the worst. And that isn't even the end of it, that's just where I'm choosing to stop this already long message. After a certain point, if the ONLY place where Gale doesn't get shit on is when you're talking to him directly and choosing the nice options, then yeah I feel like there's a problem behind the scenes there. Especially when his story is about forgiveness, belief that you're enough, allowing yourself to love and be loved again, accepting and asking for help, and learning that you deserve to live, but the devs say that an ending where all of that is thrown away and even after telling him that he's enough you still have him sacrifice himself is good... then it's like what would have to happen for people to realize that Gale is treated differently than the rest? And what do they have to say for others to realize that they're going against their anti-suicide message? Because I don't get it. Is the world going to end? No. But that doesn't mean this isn't weird and hurtful. Escaping the cycle of abuse and becoming better is great is the basis of their game, unless your name is Gale.

i really have nothing to add here.

"When I go to a restaurant, do you know what my very favourite dish is?"

-found in Taskmaster, Season 10, episode 6, 25:02.

Hiii just popping out to say thank you for feeding my sagau reader x furina brainroot by small interactions in "Even the Gods bleed." (Sorry if I wrote it incorrectly, I didn't get proper sleep.)

They way reader tugged at Furina's cheek— hell yeah your Grace I understand you.

i am always down to feed other furina enjoyers. at some point i need to give furi her own solo fic with reader but i know im gonna make it like triple the length of everything else..favoritism at its finest!! and proud of it. furina gets priority in everything.

I love crawling out of the depths, opening up tumblr, and seeing your art. I love it.

it is quite interesting how social media can fall to the wayside, and people on the internet can just disappear forever if they really wanted to! I admit I struggle to keep up with "public accounts", they are uniquely stressful and I solute your hibernating tenacity. always lovely to see you resurface regardless, thank you very much for the lovely compliment...

I will say in case any of my dear followers were wondering where i've gone for the past month and a half, for weeks i've been pondering how to even broach the enormity of the topic that is: I made the mistake of thinking about my most favorite character for more than 2 minutes in one sitting. I intentionally go out of my way to avoid this and have many strategies to evade this occurring because every time I do enter a sort of hermetically sealed mental chamber where it's just me and him and his life and I begin to ignore all points of previously established social contact and also my health indefinitely. It's difficult to convey the emotional experience of this or its psychic magnitude. and it's hard to say "guys i really love this character!" because that's just words. you can't see it. the 10 years of obsessively thinking about some guy so intensely on&off cyclically until you've made 20 different worlds he's living in... how does one convey the depth of these without artistically depicting them as you see them to be...? i am trying to figure it out. currently planning a longform comic for my favorite and several smaller comics for others, but logically an individual can understand this takes a while... he and I have had multiple rendezvous over the past decade and I wish I had more "historical" art to show but for many of these years I have been a bit too physically disabled to draw, the past several weeks have been spent attempting to recreate his ideal form as he exists in my head. he is starting to come around!

I typed up three separate disquisitions last month to try and explain my feelings on him and none of them felt like the proper vessel to communicate this concept. which is likely for the best. the obvious answer is "just draw him". fine with this being the case, difficult when I have so many drawing ideas I'm now sitting on 100+ works in progress and they just keep accumulating since my brain generates these like an old laptop you leave in the corner of your room to mine bitcoin. in a way I'm content with this being a very "personal" experience thus far, shared with me and those in my inner social circle (really cannot emphasize to my readers enough how fandom can poison your constitution without self-checked moderation). however... I yearn to meet others who are as passionately involved with him as I am, because I think we could coalesce our ideas, and passion, into something beautiful...

^dio brando

just realized both theo and matthias's playlists are over a hundred songs long now... that's six hours for each playlist 😁

oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands

male characters are always Low Priority for me SORRY!!! I WANT TO THINK ABOUT WOMEN !!!

In a land of myth and a time of magic, Merlin and Gwaine made a plan to deal with the latest threat to Camelot. 

“Well, gotta go big or go home... So I was thinking of an explosion.”

✯   ✩   ✬ 

One poorly timed explosion and a considerable amount of blue goop later...

King Arthur glared at Gwaine and Merlin standing in front of him. “So you’re saying you were on the other side of the castle and that the blue stains on your shirts have nothing to do with the blue goop staining the Phoenix corridor?”

“Yep.” They both nodded.

“Did you know you’re both reckless idiots and terrible liars?”

Merlin beamed a smile at Arthur. “Yes, I did know that. Did you know that, Gwaine?”

“Yes, I knew that too, Merlin.”

“Well, that's good. At least we're all on the same page. I was starting to worry.”

King Arthur picked up the closest thing to him and threw it at Merlin.

Merlin ducked, and he and Gwaine scurried out of the room. “That was a close one,” Merlin said when they were out in the corridor.

“MERLINN!!!!”

“Did you hear that?” Gwaine asked.

Merlin shrugged and did not break his stride. “Camelot castle is pretty old. There are loads of strange creaking and sometimes when the wind blows through, it sounds like a person yelling my name.”

“Highly inconvenient,” Gwaine purred. 

“Tell me about it.”

“MERLIN!!!”

“But- um- seriously, we should probably start running.”

Gwaine listened as he heard the scraping of Arthur's chair against the floor in the other room. “I agree.”

Merlin turned behind him as he heard the corridor door opening. “And it looks like Arthur agrees, too. We are definitely all on the same page.”

Merlin and Gwaine ran as Arthur chased them through the corridors.

From A Series of Unfortunate Excuses on AO3.

Any chance you are gonna continue the next part of your Ace Attorney story? Of course not rushing you but recently reread and was reminded of how much I love it.

Aw, thank you so much. I'm glad you still enjoyed it after having been finished for so long. I'm thrilled it has re-readability. That's what I was aiming for, to be honest, so it's good to know that I got that down. Moreover, yes, I'm definitely going to continue on with that series. I just don't want to lose the momentum, or my plot twists, that I've got going on with my other stories right now. I only have so much brain space and attention to spare, lol. However, rest assured, I haven't given up on it. I worked way too hard on the first book to give up on it now, and giving up's never been my style, anyway. So, no worries, it's in the works. Just down the road a little bit.

Rotating season 2 esmp!Jimmy in my head. Funky sheriff guy whose deputy is his cat. I could make him worse (affectionate)

i put karl's hairdo on alton and it's kinda cute actually? might keep it as his act 2/3 hair maybe. (':

D/smp is known for ableist, transphobic, homophobic and racist shit so, you probably shouldn't be okay with having 'd/smp mutuals'. Seriously. No hate or jokes to the dead guy, he didn't deserve to die, but the rest of them are still alive and they are terrible racist people.

bestie respectfully where did i ask

“That doesn’t matter,” Charles replied. “When Sir has made up his mind, he has made up his mind. I know he sometimes is a little bit mean, but you’ll have to excuse him. He had a very terrible childhood. Do you understand?”

Violet looked at the painting of the seashore, and thought once again of that dreadful day at the beach. “Yes,” she sighed. “I understand. I think I’m having a very terrible childhood myself.”

- The Miserable Mill, Lemony Snicket