Tokyo revengers groupchat
Warnings: suggestive, swearing, 5th grade humour, an unknown femboy is mentioned, Takeomi is homophobic but no one cares, also this has the Sano's and everyone involved or close to them
Desc: Shin gets his first date in like 10 years. Also this is the final timeline but events don't exactly match up to canon so👍
Shinichiro: GUYS
Shinichiro: I'M GOING ON A DATE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Benkei: i don't care
Takeomi: congratulations. it's only been like 30 years
Wakasa: how many times have you started a conversation exactly like this? give up for all of our sakes. we're tired🙏
Takeomi: Shin there's nothing wrong with being single at your big age. it's not humiliating at all
Wakasa: aren't you single?😐
Shinichiro: screw you guys, actually ☹️
Benkei: emoji's are for children. stop using them. you're gonna frown? as a grown man? what's wrong with you
Shinichiro: what's wrong with frowning??
Shinichiro: YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY A PRETTY GIRL ASKED ME ON A DATE
Shinichiro: we're meeting at a karaoke bar
Takeomi: if this happens to be real, do not drink
Takeomi: you get touchy when you're drunk and it's fucking weird😐
Wakasa: girls might think that's weird and creepy
Shinichiro: that was one time and i apologized
Takeomi: i don't give a fuck if you apologized you kissed me you fucking cunt
Takeomi: i don't even wanna talk about it i'm gonna vomit
Shinichiro: it was just a goodnight kiss. for the homies 😕
Wakasa: you stuck your tongue down his throat dude
Shinichiro: we were wearing socks so it was fine
Benkei: you just say shit
Shinchiro: you guys are ruining my vibe rn so i'm just gonna get ready for my date and the future love of my life
Shinchiro: she's so pretty i'm in love with her
Shinichiro: oh man i'm getting butterflies
Takeomi: send a pic
Shinchiro: you'll see her soon enough if things go well
Takeomi: guess i'm never seeing her
Sano affiliated groupchat
Inupi: idk a lot of us in here aren't Sano's and it kind of annoys me that this is what the groupchat's called
Mikey: get that stick out of your ass or leave like it's not that deep
Inupi: shut the fuck up you dwarf
Mikey: i'm the average height for a japanese male
Inupi: "i'm the average height for a japanese male🤓☝️"
Inupi: and no you're not. you're 5'3 and the average height is 5'7
Mikey: at least i have more than 3/4 of my face
Inupi: should you be saying that when you have a history of mutilating people's faces
Inupi: isn't that right Haruchiyo
Haruchiyo: kill yourself
Senju: girls, stop fighting
Emma: guys please not again
Draken: Inupi don't leave, Shinichiro wanted us here for something important so can we be civil for a few minutes
Inupi: whatever
Inupi: where is he anyway he said we should all be online cause of an emergency and he's not even here
Izana: are the old people here?
Takeomi: we're not old
Izana: ok grandpa
Kakucho: what's the emergency?
Benkei: fuck if we know
Wakasa: if i've come here to waste my time i'm gonna twist his dick off
Mikey: why do you want his dick in your hand🤨?
Wakasa: stop playing games Manjiro...
Benkei: is corporal punishment still legal
Mikey: i was kidding 😭
Mikey: also i'm a full grown adult so that would just be assault
Benkei: is assault still illegal
Emma: uh yes?
Benkei: i don't know why i asked because i'm going to do it anyway
Mikey: are your anger management classes even working💀?
Mikey: and lucky for me i'll be in Paris tmr for a fan meetup so😋
Shinchiro: hi guys
Wakasa: what do you want
Takeomi: i bet he fumbled
Mikey: fumbled what?
Takeomi: he had a date
Inupi: what's the emergency Shinichiro?
Shinchiro: i need you guys to answer these questions as quickly as possible
Shinichiro: what's a femboy??
Emma: now what does that have to do with the urgent emergency you told us you had?? i missed my pregnancy yoga classes for this? SHIN?
Senju: why is everything you do so unserious
Baji: Haruchiyo's a femboy
Haruchiyo: no the fuck i'm not you piece of shit
Mikey: you're not?
Haruchiyo: no??
Mikey: but you're pretty, and you look like a girl so?
Haruchiyo: no... but uh, thanks ig
Senju: girl stand up. this is embarrassing😕
Shinichiro: guys please this is serious i can't hide in the bathroom forever
Emma: what are you doing in the bathroom??
Shinichiro: i'm on my date right? so we're having a great time and we're singing and drinking and i tell her what a pretty girl she is and she says "girl?" and i'm like "yeah you're a pretty girl" and she says she's a femboy and i don't know what that means like what does "boy" have to do with anything so i went to the bathroom to ask you guys this question real quick because she said we're going to her apartment after this (!!!i think for sex!!!) but i'm just trying to clear up what she meant by the boy part
Baji: LMAOOOOOOO
Izana: it means "she" is a he
Izana: that's not a girl, it's a feminine presenting man. hence the description femboy
Mikey: I'M FUCKING CRYING 😭😭😭😭
Baji: can you even call yourself femboy when you're like in your 30's? that's a grown ass man
Takeomi: what's up with you and all these suspiciously gay situations
Wakasa: i think the universe is trying to tell you something
Benkei: how did you not know he was a guy
Shinichiro: because she's pretty! like a girl
Haruchiyo: *he's a guy
Shinichiro:
Baji: why's the cat sad. that's fucked up
Kakucho: it's basically how Senju looks like a boy most of the time and Haruchiyo looks like a girl
Takeomi: how did you not see a bulge or something
Shinchiro: she's wearing a skirt
Mikey: *he
Wakasa: and nothing was swinging out?
Izana: what kind of question is this
Emma: stop being vulgar Waka-nii😐. this is such a stupid conversation
Wakasa: aren't you a grown woman tho i feel like you can handle me talking about dicks
Shinchiro: holy shit she's a he
Inupi: can we go now
Baji: a hole is a hole
Emma: Baji ew😕
Takeomi: the difference between them is that one makes you gay because you're fucking a guy in the ass and the other one is normal
Baji: same difference
Takeomi: did you read what i just said
Mikey: he's illiterate
Baji: you can't insult me with a word i don't know the meaning of
Inupi: Shin what's the verdict?
Shinichiro: well...this is still a very pretty person so...
Takeomi: bro??
Shinichiro: is it that big of a deal tho?? i don't think it is
Shinichiro: yeah, this is fine
Shinichiro: is it all that gay if you're attracted to someone who looks like a woman?
Takeomi: if you're gonna fuck them, YES???
Benkei: he's lost it
Wakasa: i'm gonna need you to be sure about this because do you even know what to do? you're gonna embarrass yourself. you're not educated on gay sex at all
Baji: i can help with that
Draken: if i'm being honest i don't think you should take advice from anyone here at all
Baji: but i'm an expert
Mikey: we don't wanna know anything about what you and Chifuyu do 😐
Baji: yes you do
Inupi: google exists. just buy lube and condoms holy shit you guys are overcomplicating this so much
Mikey: of course you would know😒
Inupi: yeah i would know because i'm gay?? fucking idiot
Senju: are buttholes self lubricating? i can't be sure since i have constipation and my buttholes as dry as some tree bark
Haruchiyo: why would you tell us that
Takeomi: Senju watch how you talk. girls aren't suppose to say stuff like that
Senju: fine, next time i'll say anus to be more ladylike
Takeomi: and to answer your question, yes. because when you poop there's residue
Takeomi: you hear that Shin
Takeomi: shit in the ass
Takeomi: don't do this
Haruchiyo: you just told us you don't wipe your ass properly
Emma: i hate everyone here so bad omg
Draken: i think it's our cue to leave
Shinichiro: fuck it. i'm gonna do it
Shinichiro: thanks for the help guys! it is what it is at this point 😁
Shinichiro: bye!!
Mikey: i knew he'd eventually succumb to homosexuality
Takeomi: well since i'm homophobic i can't be his friend anymore
Benkei: no one cares
Benkei: Shinichiro successfully wasted our time once again
Benkei: i hope he gets an STD
Mikey: woah 😭
Emma: you're so fuckung dramatic😐
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