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2hot444this · 6 months

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How to change (for real this time)

The problem w/ most people is they read all those self-help books, advice but never end up applying them irl. They think "oh maybe it helped her but situation is completely diff from hers, more complicated. . . " stop. You can change literally anything by changing your mindset.

#1 90% of life is confidence, said a wise person. If you don't believe you can change, who will? I know this one girl who was desperate to change, she used to pester me for advice all the time and initially I did try to help her. But she always ended up back at square one. I'm not her therapist to hear her complain about her pathetic life 24x7 and remind her everyday that she decided to change and to live up to it. I slowly retracted back from her. People like that drain your energy. And she still hasn't changed. Why? She kept going back to things she said she never would associate herself with again. The same people, situations, scenarios that screwed her up over and over again. She's the human representation of "victim mindset." Don't be like her. Seriously, don't try to hate the game, learn to play it.

#2 Stop w/ the self deprecating humor. It ain't hot at all. It makes you look like you lack basic self-respect. If someone's making a joke on you, you should stand up for yourself not you bullying yourself. Build a really deep relationship w/ yourself. No matter what anyone says you should never stop loving yourself. Someone says you're ugly, you shouldn't go ab your day musing upon that and letting it mess w/ you. You need to be cold to be queen. So don't let your emotions get in your way of self development.

#3 Nothing is impossible. Don't constantly affirm that it's so hard, you could never do it cuz it is gonna manifest. Even if it looks impossible to you, be delulu. Act like you have it or at least do the bare minimum of believing that you'll get there. Do your shadow work. It's where you shamelessly admit things to yourself and work on identifying the problem, how to cope w/ it and how to put it in practice. Be 100% honest w/ yourself.

#4 Dissociate yourself from all the things that remind you of the old you (if possible). It will be a wee bit difficult in the beginning but don't beat yourself up over it. You'll slowly get there don't worry, you learn from experience. Never blame yourself or beat yourself up if you do mess up. Course you should be accountable but don't self sabotage yourself. You need yourself in situations like that.

#5 Don't centre yourself around guys, or anyone else. This is your life. It should be around you. When you start having crushes or "sp" you put them on the pedestal. You seek their validation. So why would you do smth so heinous as such?

#6 Take inspo from characters you like. Embody them. Give a name to your alter ego. Act like her. Go on Pinterest and write down some self obsessed quotes and preach them everyday (not 2 much tho!)

#7 Protect your energy. You ain't anyone's therapist. You have no time for ppl's stupid drama. It's your life and it's on you to live upto it's fullest. Be extra, do what you love, what makes you happy. Celebrate your existence.

#level up #game changer #slay girlboss #high value woman #high maintenance #it girl #self help #boundaries #that girl #feminine energy

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casspurrjoybell-27 · 5 months

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Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 28

*Warning Adult Content*

Match Met - Part 1

Knox's thoughts are a whirlwind as he stalks toward Finn's bedroom.

It's a mixed concern for Everett and the future that they have together, irritation at Hayes for stepping out of bounds and a heavy sense of duty to protect the club at all costs.

He doesn't get far in wondering what life might be like had he never got patched in with The Fallen Angels.

After losing his parents, specifically his mother, he also lost his drive to become the man his mother had wanted him to be.

Someone educated and with a degree or two under his belt, not an unhinged beast who would eventually become numb from killing people.

God, how disappointed she must feel while looking down on him from Heaven.

Knox's self-deprecating thoughts quiet down after he reaches Finn's bedroom.

The smell of stale beer and weed smoke pulls him back into the moment and grounds him as he bangs on the door, the sound booming like thunderclaps in the night.

Finn's muffled acknowledgment seeps through, prompting Knox to lean against the wall with a bored look on his face.

The door swings open a minute later.

"Hey, brother. You need something from me?" Finn asks, a towel slung low around his waist.

His hair is still damp and tousled, water droplets glistening on his tatted chest.

He's a scrawny man but his bark is equally worse than his bite, courtesy of Knox's training.

"Yeah, I need to know who the fuck takes showers this late," Knox says, jokingly.

"Obviously me, asshole. I was just on FaceTime with my girl and things got a little heated..." Finn smirks, wiggling his brows. "But I'm guessing you ain't here for story time."

"Definitely not," Knox says. "I need you to join me on a run to Hayes' place. Shouldn't take us too long. Get dressed, grab a to-go bag and meet me out front in fifteen."

"Understood," Finn nods, knowing better than to ask questions.

When a brother needs help, you don't waste time asking him why. You shut the hell up, grab a weapon and follow.

Outside, the night air has a small bite to it, sending leaves skittering across the ground as an uneasy wind stirs the branches of the trees.

The gravel crunches under Knox's boots as he marches over to his truck, his mind somewhat clearer than before.

Tonight's job will require stealth and patience, which is why he isn't wearing his cut and is taking his truck instead of his motorcycle.

Anything to not draw attention to himself and Finn while driving to Hayes' house.

Sometimes, very rarely, Knox can imagine living in a world where he isn't bound to his club.

A world where he can devote himself entirely to Everett.

Then he has days like today.

Days where he doesn't let his desires overshadow reality because he knows his dreams will never be more than that, silly little dreams.

With a bitter sigh, Knox opens his eyes and pushes the fantasy aside, the sweetness morphing into the familiar burning resentment that he harbors for Hayes fucking Mitchell.

The cocky bastard forgot his place today.

He disrespected and taunted Knox, nearly making him blackout in front of Everett.

Fuck that shit.

The prick will pay for his offenses with his life.

Knox will make damn sure of it.

"Sorry for the holdup. Got stopped and threatened by your guy on the way down," Finn laughs while climbing into the passenger seat.

He shuts the door before tossing a large black duffle bag into the backseat.

"Smart little pain in my ass figured out we're leaving together. He told me he'd make my death slow and painful if I let anything happen to you."

Knox can't help but smile at that while backing out and driving through the gates.

"You make sure there's a tarp in the bag? Gloves, too? It's going to get messy tonight."

"Jesus, man..." Finn's groan is exaggerated, a blend of annoyance and humor. "You know this isn't my first time doing something like this, right? Of course I checked the damn bag."

"And you didn't tell Everett shit about what we're doing, right?"

"So you can turn around and do to me whatever it is that you're about to do to Hayes?" Finn scoffs, playfully rolling his eyes. "I may be a dumb fuck on occasion but I actually value my life believe it or not. I didn't tell him shit."

Knox chuckles.

"Good. The last thing I need is for him to find out Hayes is dead, then he starts blaming himself for shit that he shouldn't. I don't have the time to play Dr. Phil with him."

"But you would if you needed to, given that you claimed him and all..."

"Don't start."

"What? He's growing on me. At the very least, I'm happy that he makes you happy. I just hope you two will be able to figure your shit out when this war with The Jackals comes to an end."

Knox doesn't respond but he secretly hopes the same.

Finn casually props his feet up on the dashboard after switching on the radio, one arm hanging out the window.

Knox shakes his head at his brother's audacity but he chooses to let the transgression pass.

The night is tense enough, so there's no need to add extra bullshit on top of it and cause unnecessary friction between the two of them.

He knows when not to be a buzzkill.

The same can't be said for Finn when, about twenty minutes into the drive, he asks Knox the most ridiculous fucking question ever.

"So, have you fallen in love with Everett yet or are you still pretending like he doesn't have you wrapped around all ten of his fingers?" Finn asks.

Knox doesn't even have to look over at him to know he's wearing a shit-eating grin.

"Because it's real cute how you two..."

"You think I won't kick your ass out of this moving truck?" Knox's grip tightens on the steering wheel.

The fuck does love even look like these days?

People toss the word around like they do a casual greeting.

"Better get to your point quickly before you piss me off more than I already am."

Finn's reply is quiet, barely audible over the music.

"My girl is pregnant."

"You said what...?"

"She's pregnant, man. I'm going to be a father."

"Shit... That's... Uh, congratulations?" Knox says, surprised.

He relaxes in his seat now that Finn is back to being the center of attention.

"So what the hell happens now? She keeping it?"

"Yeah. We talked about all that stuff and I told her I want whatever she wants. I think... I think I'm in love with her, man. On some soulmates type shit. But now that we have a baby on the way, she's been bringing up the What Ifs because I belong to the club. Says she doesn't want the baby involved with any of us and that includes me if I remain a member after its born."

"Damn. She gave you an ultimatum already?"

"Yeah. Now I don't know what the fuck to do. The club is my life. I owe everything to you and The Fallen Angels. I'd be dead without all this shit but she... she just doesn't fucking get it."

"That's tough," Knox says. "But you shouldn't let it shake you up too much. Just gotta take it one day at a time and eventually, she'll come around. Besides, none of the brothers will look down on you if you decide to leave the club to be there for your kid. You know that, right?"

Finn nods, his voice soft and vulnerability clear.

"Yeah, I know."

Despite Finn's missteps concerning Everett, Knox has always done his best to be the shoulder for Finn to lean on.

They're brothers bound by something deeper than blood and at the end of the day, Knox wants nothing more than to see his brothers thriving and finding their own versions of happiness amid their chaotic lives.

He'll do whatever he can to help them get there and they'd do the exact same thing for him in return.

"You should bring her around the clubhouse sometime," Knox continues. "Let her see how we ain't a bunch of classless drunk bastards who eat, fuck and sleep all day every day. Hell, if someone like Everett can be turned, so can your ol' lady... or is she just your girlfriend?"

"She doesn't know it yet because she isn't hip to all this biker shit but she's definitely my ol' lady," Finn says, then smiles. "Funny how you met your match in a mouthy little twink like Everett. Never thought I'd see the day when you settled down with someone."

Knox rolls his eyes, amused.

"Yeah, well, the next time he runs off while under your watch, I'm going to make sure your kid grows up calling someone else daddy."

There's a real threat in Knox's words but Finn just laughs him off like he always does.

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alicevirgo · 1 year

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3.28.2023 14.44

Am I strong and bold enough to start the first real journal? Let’s see So what are the issues I got with life right now? Insecure with:

friends,

education and career path

reluctant job change.

In that order, let’s break down my many insecurities with my life and my future!

This spring semester, I was more active in a server. I knew one of the guys from last semester who introduced me to this new place. As I started to get more involved, Otto told me I would love Diana, and that we have lots in common. We have a lot in common: love for primates, trolling, and fart jokes. Though her trolling is towards people and mine is more self-involved (not self-deprecating, that's bad), her fart jokes are more nasty involved and I like middle school humor. As a person with dog energy, I was happy and excited to be friends with Diana. I can't really recall when online Diana and I started talking but we first met on Feb 15. I didn't think much of her "red flags" until Feb 23, when we started to almost hang out every day, for sure did talk every day, but she did dominate the conversation and was apparent in her thought process. ... Okay, this is gonna be a long ass journal if I go through all the lore, so I'll TLDR. I finally got comfortable in a server, became a victim of a toxic person's friendship style (bruh), and left the server, affecting my current friendships with actual good people in the server. I really loved the people and the server, but once I finally told Diana I was uncomfortable with her, she ostracized me from everything, making group hangouts so uncomfortable for everyone. It got to the point I was fighting with a friend involved with this because they couldn't understand why this is happening. I don't either, man. I'm trying my hardest to be civil and cordial but Diana is being a fake bitch lmao. Last night, I was talking to another friend about this situation and she mentioned how she would bring all of this up to the server mod in person, because it has become apparent Diana and I have split ties and a lot of people have become more aware of their feelings towards Diana. I can go on and on about the things Diana did that is very not cool lmao.

I'm getting close to the end of my education path which obviously(?) leads to my career path, and it's becoming scarier and unrealistic. I'm currently in two English classes that I see both pros and cons in, which paint the demise of what I will be in the future, and I hate it. I love my 103 class' textbook, but I hate the professor. I love everything about my 109 class, but there's so much hopeful thinking can do to change the mindset of the toxic education system that has been active since the start. I'm learning a lot in my 103 textbook, the "algebraic," formulaic, technical side of English, but the professor is the clear and obvious answer to why people hate the education system, specifically English teachers. In an English classroom, it's easy to see racism and classism, and that's not who I am.

This icon might make me look white Otto, but I ain't white at all. The English education system hates me because I'm not from any of their backgrounds but love for English.

I also got introduced to the anthropology major and I never found myself more enamored with something educational besides English until this semester. I love people-watching. I love trying to make sense of things. I never learned about anthropology until now (maybe we can even talk about the failure of the education system informing me of all majors lmao). I feel like I'm in a vulnerable state of my future and with this career, I dreamt that it seems more tempting to start all over and become an anthropologist. I feel like my red hair and piercings are more accepted in the anthropology community than in the Californian education community.

Lastly, let's talk about the job I currently hold (until like in two months lmao). I loved my job. I first had it in Nov 2018 and left a week before COVID shut down in March 2019 lmao. I finally got the job back in Jan 2022 and now I'm losing it around May this year. Before I got this job back, I had such a weak-ass mindset of "why do I always lose the job I love?" and it's fucking back. I thought I would be able to keep this job until I get into my career, but the CEO has rushed the movement of the warehouse, the location I work, from a nearby town to a different city, and I'm not traveling more than 30 minutes to work, fuck an hour of travel. I was okay being a bystander to the weird business practices and weird miscommunication going on between management and salesfloors, but all of this has finally bit me in the ass. Back in December, they took me out of the warehouse and onto the salesfloor, and I've been verbal throughout my whole employment I hate being on the salesfloor, I genuinely hate working in retail. As much as everyone is telling me how I'm a natural on the floor, it's not going to help me in the long run with my mindset. My alt-ass will snap on a middle-aged white lady, I got a lot to say to them, trust me. So I will take management's suggestion of looking for internships because fuck customers.

With all this said, I was really lost yesterday. I felt like I had no control over my life and the things around me and I felt like it was easier to light switch. All of this was brewing for a long time, like months or even years, but it became a reality yesterday. I didn't want the things I love to remove me from myself, but it seems like those things don't love me for who I am. I want millennial and gen z teachers to transform the education system so that it is okay to look a bit different without seeming like we're pushing an agenda. I want to be financially secure in my life without worrying about working a job I hate. Fuck, I wouldn't mind working for this business' salesfloor if it wasn't for the bitchy customers and the disdain for my style. A middle-aged white women's style is not my style, so there's already conflict between them and me. But yeah, I feel a lot better I'm verbalizing this and seeing my stress in words because my biggest worry after weeks/months of feeling so much anxiety and insecurity is forgetting why I felt these feelings. Now I gotta go do those late assignments I should be working on lmao

#jentry

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kruschonka · 3 years

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I’m an independent woman. I don’t need no man. I gaslight myself.

#mental health #self deprecating humor ain't it guys #go to therapy #but I thought it was funny so why not post it #gaslighting #relationships #theraoy #self depreciating memes #self depreciating humor #personal #self image

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jenomark · 5 years

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You write about the flaws and issues you sense in the boys, so I wanna know: what do you think 127 would be insecure/nervous about in the bedroom and how their s/o would reassure them? As much as I like reading about them, they def ain't confident doms 100% of the time 😂

Taeil: I don’t think he would have any, or at least, he’ll have everyone convinced that he doesn’t. I genuinely think he’s good at handling insecure thoughts, which usually only comes to people who are used to beating themselves down and have found a middle ground. I think there is real confidence in Taeil, but it’s so quiet. The only thing that throws me off is how agreeable he is. He does things because it’s easier for him if others take the lead. Most of the time he doesn’t care, but when it comes to love, he’ll want his s/o to be considerate of his choices. To do this, his s/o should approach sex with Taeil like it’s important to them, just like anything else. He’ll want more than their body if it’s going to last longer than one night.

Johnny: Raw vulnerability makes him nervous. Johnny can be an emotional guy. He’s clever at dealing with what he feels, kind of controlling what people see and what they don’t. A lot of people who use humor and a confidence shield often use it to hide the thing they’re protecting. He’s a strong man and he’ll fuck anyone really good, but the rawness of being with someone doesn’t come as naturally to him. He’ll need them to make him feel secure, but he won’t necessarily know how to ask for it. His s/o almost needs to ease him into opening up more. By being patient and letting him know that they aren’t going to hurt him, he’ll gradually let himself unravel a bit.

Taeyong: I think he would be insecure about his body. I do think there is a lot of confidence in Taeyong when he’s being an idol, but all of that fades when he’s just being himself. He’s naturally skinny, probably doesn’t find it as easy to gain lots of heavy muscle. He’s quite shy about being unclothed in front of people he isn’t comfortable with. I think there would be a little hesitance when he’s getting ready to have sex and suddenly he can’t hide behind a bunch of costumes. His s/o should be with him because they love him, not because of who he is on stage. Reassuring him of that, and showing him just how much they appreciate the body he has, will make for a really good time.

Yuta: I think he’s pretty secure in himself. Yuta is a person who looks at every side of the picture thoughtfully, and I think that is how he approaches sex. He puts emphasis on being manly a lot, which is weird because he’s very feminine in nature. I suspect there might be some insecurity with that in the bedroom, but that is something he’ll easily overcome. My feeling of him counteracts everyone else’s. I think any nerves or insecurities Yuta has, will be because of the people he’s choosing to sleep with. He can’t be with someone who holds him back from anything at all. He’ll need a s/o that can let him shine bright, even if it’s just while he’s having sex. No one has to reassure him of anything because he already knows, but it’s good if they can accept him.

Doyoung: He’s insecure about why they want him, and not someone else. There is a part of him who always feels like he isn’t good enough, can tend to feel like someone’s second place. If someone wanted to fuck Doyoung, he would think they were joking. It’s his natural state of mind to be a little self-deprecating. He does have confidence, but it’s not confidence in his sexual prowess. Doyoung doesn’t know how to be the perfect boyfriend, or the perfect lover. He builds up all of these ideas, but they’re things he’s seen other people have. He wants so many things that he’s too scared to allow himself. It’s only been very recently that I’ve seen him reaching out a little. His s/o will need to be fully invested in him by pursuing him and talking up his strong points. If there is anything Doyoung likes, it’s a person who knows how to use their mouth well.

Jaehyun: Coming too quickly. Hear me out. I think, when he gets really excited, he can get a little carried away. He turns into this loud, overachiever that acts before he thinks. If he was in the mood to fuck, he would misbehave a little bit. I think he wouldn’t be able to contain all of the feelings inside of him, and as soon as his cock entered them, it would be a race to the finish line. He’s competitive and he wants to win. I can see him coming too early sometimes, but I don’t think his s/o would be able to sense that it was a major insecurity. If they did, they should do something to distract him so that he slows down. Being plowed by Jaehyun will feel fantastic, but the slower he goes, and the more eye contact he makes, the better the stroke game.

WinWin: He’ll want to be the best they’ve ever had. I think, comparison is a big thing for him. He compares himself to a lot of people. He doesn’t mean to do it, but it’s something that can make him feel good inside and give him purpose. WinWin, to me, seems like the type to obsess over how many people his s/o has slept with and if those people were better at sex than he is. There would be a lot of surprises in store for them while they are with him, because he wants to top what the last person did. To make him feel like he’s the only person they want to be with, they’ll have to be honest with him. He does appreciate the honesty and he can definitely take that energy. Also, letting WinWin take the lead will work out in their favor.

Jungwoo: He would care a lot about whether his s/o was enjoying themselves. He doubts if he’s adventurous enough, sexy enough, and if he goes down on them in the way they want. He’ll eventually push his s/o to be vocal about what it is they need from him. I don’t see him being very insecure, or too nervous. Emotional? Very. I think he’s gotten a lot more secure in himself than he was when he was younger, and I think it’s because people react so positively to him. Not that he cares what people think about him, because he doesn’t. He definitely likes to be praised for doing a good job. Jungwoo would be nervous the first time having sex, but all his s/o would need to do is make him laugh. Take the pressure off of him to be perfect, treat him like he’s a good friend, be loud, and he’ll hear them, and deliver.

Mark: How well he performs, in general. He lives inside of his head. When I think about his mind, it’s like a bunch of strings connecting one thing to another. He overdoes and overthinks everything. I can see him being the type to avoid a lot of things. His s/o would have to be someone he’s comfortable with, and they would have to be someone not expecting so much from him. He’s Mark Lee on stage, you know, he’s this big presence. In private, he just wants to be Mark (which is also, in my opinion, something he’s not as comfortable with).

#Anonymous #nct #nct 127 #nct 127 reactions #is this smut #i don't think so #mark #jungwoo #winwin #jaehyun #doyoung #yuta #taeyong #johnny #taeil

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